How To Make Your Ex Chase You

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for watching this video. Hope you're doing well out there, with everything going on in the world.

[@draco2040]

Very helpful. So far I feel it it's "job+house=possibly family back"

[@inescalado8836]

Clay, I use to send messages with 15 days apart and a lot of the times the conversation doesn't flow and don't respond to me. Do you think my ex thinks that I want to come back? (it's been 6 months since the break up) I don't even talk about feelings and stuff like that. How often should I send messages?

[@CatchAChrissy]

Can you make a video if you run into your ex on no contact? But ..what happens if we already did? I ran into my ex today at grocery store. I turn around and see him standing there..smiling at me.. I was on the phone with someone..and I froze. My face showed it, I know it. I could see him grinning ear to ear behind his facemask. He said..a long drawn out Hiiiii ...and I said Hi and literally grabbed my shopping cart and darted the other way. Did I Blow It???? Its been 2 weeks no contact... 6 year relationship..but the last year "we were broken up, but we couldnt cut ties or stop "dating"

[@danielbinkley3521]

My ex contacted me and said that she loves me and that she misses being with me she told me that she felt bad for cheating on me her boyfriend wants us to talk about just the kids with her boyfriend she's living in a car me I'm living in a hotel what should I do she only opens up with me and she calls me behind her boyfreinds back to talk about more then the kids

[@brianrohm1787]

Plain and simple just play it cool and be confident find someone interested in you watch what happens I promise it works every single time

[@yayanana3346]

1. Your interactions have to be enjoyable and uplifting for them 2. You have to remove emotional hurdles that are keeping them back from wanting to pursue you 3. You want to give them something that they can't get anywhere else (like a strong emotional connection) 4. You don't want to be overly available to them 5. You should be willing to take things slowly

[@garrettlynn1049]

Well this video is good to hear! I was busy and had an amazing day! Today I went outside of my hometown and I saw my ex’s best friend, and he noticed me having a great time. He probably told my ex and made a big deal about it, but in my opinion I don’t really care! I’m still on a path to start a new connection with my ex but my main goal is to love myself! I’m 2 months in the breakup and I’m not focusing 100% into getting back together. If you remove your bad habits and love yourself, you could get anyone you want! I hope everyone is safe and practicing self love!

[@ClayAndrews]

Hey Garrett, We definitely agree with you. Building a healthy relationship with our own self will truly affect the quality of relationship that we can give towards other people. :-)

[@LyliJ]

Thank you so much Clay that last point really hit home

[@richarddias7380]

Excellent video. I’m going to implement this.

[@ClayAndrews]

Glad it was helpful, Richard! ;-)

[@aronbechiom565]

The "situation" is playing havoc on getting within 6 ft.... at least we still communicate every few days.

[@rachelphaiklin5435]

hi Clay, first time seeing your videos and they're so inspiring. One question, do you recommend to be honest to them that we would like to get back together but at the same time willing to take things slowly by starting on going to dates and get to know each other better and let the emotional connection grow? (We broke up about 1 month+ ago but til the next time we get to meet, it will be around august or september. we are now in a long distance because of the pandemic. on and off i do send him texts and he does reply sometimes but very surfacely). Appreciate if you could give some hint on whether being honest in wanting to get back together is a good idea or just let things flow naturally? Thanks :)

[@chanlee1579]

I know a man who can help my friend

[@kari-dahl]

Wish I had seen clays videos before, when my ex came back after some time. But we did not succeed, the past was too heavy for him..

[@hellothere9729]

what if you have agreed to be friends... she ended a 7 month relationship a week ago, it was a true loving and passionate relationship, emotionally and physically (she dumped me over clinginess and control , although I realise I was doing these things at the time and was already working on self improvements , an accident happen and she got mad and ended it), we agreed to be friends shortly after the break up and we are planning on hanging out next week

[@kleshamiddleton1]

how is yalls relationship now

[@lilasian2078]

Bro u just told a story of what exactly happend to me 😳

[@h3arty]

Excellent content

[@ClayAndrews]

Much appreciated. ;-)

[@claudiaferreira8237]

Hi from South Africa. Love your advice. Hope you guys are staying safe under LD. My ex is in a 4 month rebound and under LD with her...but I text with my ex every day, with him initiating 95% of the time. He knows I still love him. We always had great chemistry and always end up flirting but he also takes an interest in my life too. I don't know how he still feels about me. Am I waisting my time hoping that he would come back to me? Thanks again be safe

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Claudia, There is nothing wrong if you are connecting with an ex and enjoying the conversation. We usually recommend to our members to give themselves a 3-6 months check in. If they seem not to have any progress with their ex, that is when they can assess whether to move forward and reorganize their priorities.

[@claudiaferreira8237]

@@ClayAndrews Thank you so much for your reply Clay much appreciated...will give it some time, keep working on myself and my future. Keep up the good work...will keep you posted.

[@thechillpanzee5222]

Hey Clay , I tried to talk to my ex after a couple months of no contact. I talked to her for 2 days and I asked her for another chance. She started ignoring my text and I've texted her once since she ignored my texts. Should I apologise to her about that or should I leave it alone ? I think she needs more time.

[@ClayAndrews]

How long has this conversation been? If it was recent, you may apologize and let her know you understand how your message might have come across to her.

[@thechillpanzee5222]

@@ClayAndrews First conversation was around 2 hours long when I asked her about giving me another chance and persisted for a few minutes , second was about an hour when I told her about how I felt , she kinda hates me and she said that I leave her no other option but to ignore my text , however she wouldn't block me saying it isn't her thing. Hope this information was useful..

[@arturo165]

Leave her alone. Be alone with yourself , It works. Be your own person. You can't be in a relationship if you don't bond with yourself and stop being fragmented.

[@williamdolan7189]

At the time I was drunk truthfully

[@enriquesuarez7113]

I needed this video, thanks

[@ClayAndrews]

You're welcome. Glad that you liked our video. :-)

[@ashleypix2162]

thanks clay, so my ex recently reached out to me about 5 days ago and brought up some good memories we had, but keep in mind he is in a rebound relationship with someone else and its been 4 months since we broke up. He started snapchatting me again and sometimes it would be hot and cold type of response or 1 word, or none at all. what do I do. I dont know if he's trying to chase me or not or if im replying too fast to his messages!

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Ashley, Sounds like a progress you have in there. Be okay if the conversation stalls. That usually happens. Focus on the quality of your interactions and not on the quantity.

[@lhiizzsaa6091]

Are you the one who broje up with him?

[@crazee6821]

Ashely .... do you really want him back ? If so then please trust me .... do a ton of research on how to attract your ex back . The universe wants to see that your learning with this experience. Also write down what you desire and place that under your pillow . It works like magic with your sub conscious mind . Also try to detach from any negative thoughts . Don’t text him . Trust the universe ! You are the diamond . You are the prize . Love yourself and remember he is a reflection of you . Make sure you thank the universe and love the universe because they love you 😍

[@ashleypix2162]

@@ClayAndrews thanks, but he stopped talking to me so I'm not sure if its just to check up on me

[@ClayAndrews]

@@ashleypix2162 there really isn't a rule that one should wait for an ex to initiate a conversation. Have you tried reaching out to him? I covered reaching out to an ex extensively on the Ex Solutions Program. I shared how to reach out without raising your ex's wall so you'll be able to slowly get a response that is favorable for you.

[@sreckos6484]

I don't know how to forgive myself. I was in a long relationship that I wasn't ready for. The girl loved me and tried hard but I was cold and distant. Because I was hurt from the past. I was bad to her and she showed me love. When I started to try it was already late, she started to cool down and we broke up a month ago. I eat myself so much and I can't forgive myself because I didn't have the courage to show the person who loved me the most that I love her. I wish her all the best of this world even though I think she was my soulmate. She deserves better and I want it for her. I thought about killing myself but again she wouldn't want to and couldn't live with that burden. Because she loved me and just got tired of me. How to survive?

[@timothysavoy2015]

Keep trying to improve your self to her that you change demonstrate that and things ain't going back over night just know you gotta show her

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Sreckos, I hope you are holding on well. The best way to start forgiving ourselves is through acceptance. Remember that this will be a process that you have to go through as well. Have you tried doing journaling to express your inner feelings?

[@royperez1414]

Things happen just let time heal. We all get to the thought of killing ourselves because we feel like we can't live alone but we can. The only person who can make you happy is yourself not others.

[@andreamuro8074]

Ok so, I got dumped 2 weeks ago, I live at my ex’s house. He bought me food and had an open invitation for me to play video games together,silly but fun. I had to get some sleep because of work in the morning. I hugged him to thank him for food and in general I was in a great mood. He kissed me! Not passionately but on the lips and of course I was surprised,I hesitated but just went with it. I’m still in an emotional fog but I don’t see him kissing his female friends, even exes on the lips. Hmmmmm, is this just a habit for him or what could have happened.he broke up saying it had been bad for a few months and that he loved me but not in love and probably never be in love,that I took advantage of him financially.

[@chanlee1579]

Do you need help

[@arturo165]

Carry your own weight. I assume he sees you as a kid that needs parenting. I used to do the same with an ex. I think you are just one of the boys. He cares about you but you are just not relationship material if you can't make it on your own. Honestly man , FOOD!

[@djcalvin408]

thanks clay! my problem is whenever she reaches out, i forget all the rules and jump up and response immediately. then the more we talk, the more anxiety hits the both of us and conversation end poor. by the way, its my wife and she recently left me for a coworker she works with. Based on your videos, it clearly states shes on a rebound, and i am pretty certain he's not really her type. Just so hard to get her to think twice about the breakup and work things out with me. I dont know what to do to make her comfortable to consider that.

[@djcalvin408]

@Sam M Thank you so much! kinda knew this, but it is so difficult to do when you're in the moment. I really need to stick by what you're saying going forward, as whatever i'm doing never works. Really appreciate your words of wisdom!

[@mixedchickULike]

@Sam M Hey Sam, has this worked for you? My husband is so stubborn. It's been a year and he won't talk to me.

[@djcalvin408]

Rocky Waters wow... i'm not expert, but after a year, i don't think there is anything left. But i completely understand and wish you the very best.

[@mixedchickULike]

@@djcalvin408 You may be right. However, we were and still are married for 35 yrs. I have made the mistake of giving him "Hits" all year. And according to Margaret I need to stop that. I'm in NC now. If he doesn't stop the Divorce by next month, I guess it's over for good.

[@mixedchickULike]

Oops, Margaret is with Coach Craig Kenneth.

[@icemanchris3276]

So my ex gf broke up with me 4 months ago, and I went 3 months in NC. But this past month she has reached out and we text/talk on the phone here and there. Both of us haven't talked about the breakup though, she is both hot and cold with conversations though. She replies quick sometimes and sometimes takes hours or says she forgot to hit send? What do I do please?? Lol

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Iceman, sounds like you are having a progress there. Remember that our ex also needs personal time for herself. it doesn't mean that she had open herself, things will go on the way it was before. Remember, it is a process. Focus on the quality of the interaction instead of the quantity.

[@icemanchris3276]

@@ClayAndrews oh okay, so I will take it slow and just reach out here and there to let her know i am here for her! I just wish she would just tell me what she is thinking and be honest with me! Lol but I think that's asking too much lol thank you clay!

[@nicolaking528]

My ex and I are amazing together. But next year he wants me to start dating. We are at crisis point. Will these ideas work and help change his mind

[@ClayAndrews]

It depends if you are comfortable with dating. It's important that you know where you stand and know what you want.

[@arturo165]

If he said you should date, it means you should. He's actually telling you what to do. He is not an option for you.

[@hennylau8681]

What if theyre ignoring me?

[@davidapacjr1989]

I wish I had seen this video a month ago. I had tried to get back together too fast and put too much pressure on her. So eventually I decided to give her space and distance. But it seems like she is trying to move on now. Do you have any advice? We have been off and on for 4 years now:/ i feel a lot of it has been because of my self esteem being eroded each time we break up.

[@Strwby04girl]

I’m having the hardest time... it’s been a month since I’ve seen him, 2 weeks since I’ve responded and 3 days since I heard from him last. He’s seeing other people and my heart is breaking... I’m trying time remain positive... but we’ve been down this road a few times and I wonder if I should just give up now. We’ve been on and off for a year 1/2... just really hard when I have to stay home and he’s all I can think of...

[@mixedchickULike]

Hi Sarah, sounds like he may not be the one for you. If this has happened a few times already, it will happen in the future. Focus on you and then find a Great Guy! That's what I'm doing.

[@dominiccampana7385]

Sam M how does it do both tho?

[@arturo165]

If he's not with you , he is over you.

[@arturo165]

@@mixedchickULike finding a great guy is not even a remote possibility for her. She follows a pattern. She is wired for emotional failure.

[@brianrohm1787]

Just be strong find someone interested in you watch what happens I promise it works every time

[@jamestvvlog2297]

My ex unblocked me on Facebook then say sorry for what she did it was Tuesday night then 11:00 in the morning reply to make her laugh bout out funny memories then she replied in strict ways with this Emoji 🙄 then I reply haha the she ignore me can it still work? If I do no contact again?Mr Clay please help

[@jamestvvlog2297]

@@That_Handle help

[@ClayAndrews]

Yes, it can still work. Also, do no contact because you wanted to improve on certain areas of your life (especially the Advanced Relational Skills), and not just going radio silent from her.

[@jamestvvlog2297]

@@ClayAndrewsMr clay I have talents already I draw dance sing but ahmm you mean Mr Clay I don't necessarily use radio silence?

[@lilianamarques8242]

Not even a week of "letting go" of me constantly wanting to talk, hang out, be with him and now he's messaging me everyday, today he video called. He'll say it's too ask about the kids or talk to them but he always ends up asking about me and talking to me. I don't know what to do anymore. I want him to just wake up and come home but I'm also hurt that he chose to leave instead of stay. Married 13 years separated 7 weeks, ANC 1 ish week

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Liliana, I am not sure if you have checked our Ex Solution Program course. Being a part of our private community will give you an opportunity to get guidance from our team. I hope you can check that as well. :-)

[@pridechitumba9745]

How is it going?

[@tiaragalbreath8028]

Clay I need your help personally

[@ClayAndrews]

HI Tiara, you can check our coaching services through this link >>> modernlove.life/coaching

[@Strwby04girl]

What do I do if he’s seeing other people???

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Sarah, Remember that you cannot control your ex's decisions and choices, but you have the capability to control yours. What do you think is the best course of action that you can do for yourself if you would know that he is seeing someone else? :-)

[@Strwby04girl]

Apparently he’s seeing multiple someone else’s... and I just don’t know how I’d go back after that...

[@Strwby04girl]

Clay Andrews I guess just move on and keep myself busy ... breaks my heart... I only wanted him ... he posts stuff that seems like it’s just for me even when he’s with them, but I’m over here alone and crying ...

[@Strwby04girl]

And is this after no contact???

[@lhiizzsaa6091]

Does no contact work even if i was the one who dumped him?

[@easyxyg]

Yes

[@lhiizzsaa6091]

@Nick Fire I already did. But he always ignored me.

[@antba9421]

I dumped my bf too because he stopped trying for our relationship. I applied no contact and he started contact my friends asking about me and then texted me telling me that he loves me and that he made mistakes!!Butttttt it was all words, no actions. So bye bye

[@xavierwright9319]

Depends. I left my x and he started reading a horrible dating advice book that taught him to go no contact and act indifferent if she comes back! So we both just ended up sitting by the phone 🤦🏻‍♀️ Go no contact to focus on you. Then if you still want him after about three months reach out. It also depends on his attachment style. Anxious attachment style miss people in about a week. Fearful avoidants miss people around the three week mark. Dismissive avoid ants it could be around 1-3 months.

[@EmoJoshSavesTheWorld]

Hey, Clay, could you make a video about what to do if your ex has created a "new life" that you don't "fit in". Just some details... She didn't really have a lot of great friends when we were together (2 years). They all lived far away or were too busy to hang out most of the time. So I was pretty much all she hung out with. Anyway, she lost feelings for me because she felt I wasn't adventurous enough and too routine/boring. This was caused by the fact she met these new guy friends who would invite her places and not invite me... Because she had great times with these people and because I wasn't there, it seems like she psychological disassociated me from her happiness when in reality I feel she would've been happy if I was there or not. Since the breakup (3 months), she has developed this GIANT friend circle. When I say huge, I mean everyone is a mutual with each other. If something big were to go down, the whole circle could essentially crumble (which is what I'm hoping). She claims they're nothing like any friends she's ever had before. She hangs out with them constantly. Her old best friends have been replaced by these new ones. It's like a huge, extended relief stage with her. I've been told by a mutual that it seems she has created this new life and that she doesn't think I'll fit in it (but she wouldn't know, would she??). She also told me she was going through a quarter life crisis and that she didn't know what she wanted in life anymore.

[@TheDac12046]

Sounds like what my ex did to me she had like maybe 100 friends before we broke up on Facebook now she's up to like 180. She still has me and my family members as friends and will tag them in stuff once in a great while. We've been broken up for almost 3 months now. All you can do is really just focus on yourself and let your ex go do their thing. Once they figure if they like this new life or not. Then they will either come back or not

[@alexisaguilar4971]

Hello Clay, I need help to get my ex back it’s me Alexis from KZbin, Me and my ex girlfriend broke up last Sunday Because she said she was not ready for a relationship after 7 in a half months that we spent together but she told me that she loved me but said also that she did not feel the same way as before and also she told she was always looking for a guy like me but does not feel secure? Why did she told me that? & But she still has my nickname and photos of us in Facebook what does that mean? She changed her profile pic and everything but she kept our things & I logged off from every single social media that I have. Like I totally went into no contact and haven’t talk to her since but she has a graduation coming up do you think it’s a good idea to go and congratulate her? Please help me man I want her back! The next part, She was angry and confused but she was sorry because she distanced herself from me and told me she changed with me and could not talk because she felt a lump in her throat and wanted to cry because she was leaving me & do I still have a chance to be back with her? also she wanted me to be friends with her? It’s that a good idea? Please help me Clay! Time is gold I want her back Please help me get her back it’s been a week since I have not contact her and I want to talk to her I miss her!

[@alexisaguilar4971]

Please help me Clay or anyone please never have I loved someone like her in my life

[@donna2693]

She has said she doesn't she want a relationship and if that is what you want are you really willing to settle for less? You both want different things if she loved you enough she wouldn't risk loosing you, it's hard to hear the truth but she's not your girl you need to let go...why would you want to be with someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you? You deserve more than being her ego boost when she's looking attention...xo

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Alexis, Remember that getting back together is a process. And whatever results you will have in the end will depend on the actions that you will take and refuse to do. And it should not be based on external validations. There are two phases that you need to understand about being friends. #1. You can't be friends with your Ex --- when you haven't fully healed from the breakup because if you do not do active no contact and continue to reach out to your ex as a friend, you wouldn't be able to help for you to have an ulterior motive in getting your Ex back. Your Ex will notice this and might eventually go to reactance because your ex will see that you are still not over her. When you have done ANC and have regained emotional balance: #2. Being friends (AT THIS STAGE) with your Ex will help because it will help you to reach out with your Ex and be able to show your Ex how much you have changed. Hope this helps.

[@alexisaguilar4971]

Clay Andrews 1. I’m fully healed of the breakup it make me begin a new life in me and do things that I couldn’t do & god keeps blessing me with a lot of good things in my life I’m changing for the better & since the breakup I went to no contact because I did not wanted to beg or plead her to come back and I just begin retaking my life do things to take off her out my mind. It has totally worked for me a lot but one thing Clay she still has picture of us in social media?.

[@alexisaguilar4971]

Clay Andrews hopefully my ex sees my changes that I have done in my life getting things done that I wanted to do since a long time ago and how should I reach out to her text, call, or in person? & I just want ANC since the breakup happened and I think this would help her rethink things to see if she made a good idea breaking up with me because she told me that she loves me still but idk if there’s a possibility for us to get back together when she sees my changes?

[@rosalielopez9138]

Can i caller him ?

[@chanlee1579]

Do you need help to get you ex back

[@kelsebreedlove2494]

Its been almost a year since we broke up. My ex has been in a rebound. Since then months ago she wanted to talk. So I went and met her and she was the one who brought up the relationship and admits her faults in it. She told me if we get back together she feels it will be the same? That really through me for a loop. Since that talked I was seeing her at work and she would be hot and cold with me . Then the situation happened and I havent spoken or saw her sense. Really just don't know what to do. She's also been trying to get mw react to her .

[@ronald9300]

Just a little advice. Avoid cheesey screenshots of yourself on the KZbin videos. This is a serious topic and you want people to take you seriously.

[@junelee5975]

I like it though