Closet Confessions: TOXIC work environments

[@_katrinayoung_]

De-centering career and labor in your life is a game changer

[@TENICKAB]

complete game changer

[@cap4life1]

REAL

[@AScentedSoul]

Tenicka OMG I keep saying this… people only ask you what you do so that they can judge you or determine how they want to treat you. It’s sickening. I was in law enforcement for years and told family to stop introducing me to people and telling them what I do. Because if I worked at Best Buy or McDonalds you wouldn’t do that. SMH

[@TheSocialite1]

I’m really enjoying the closet series 🤍🤍

[@happybuuny]

me too!

[@CococaribUK]

Me three!

[@bagsandlifestyle]

Yep!

[@taylorharris7919]

This video is RIGHT ON TIME! I work in healthcare (literally treating cancer). Set the scene: I've been at two institutions. The first is a major name in cancer treatment. Toxic racial and classist dynamics. So toxic I left a salaried position to go hourly. The second a semiprivate institute at which I was sold a pipe dream. I quite literally replaced 5 people and got the workload to match. I go to renegotiate and those people (a black woman and a white man) pretended I was crazy. But the Lord provides! I have an interview Tuesday 👏🏾👏🏾

[@TENICKAB]

wishing you well on your interview!!!

[@kay-deanjackson550]

Girl I’m in healthcare. I don’t know if it’s ever going to change. But I too is up to my neck with my work place. Very toxic. Been on the internet all weekend trying to see what my options are

[@taylorharris7919]

@@TENICKAB thank you! Also I've been binge watching your content ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!

[@taylorharris7919]

@@kay-deanjackson550 LinkedIn is your friend

[@CarrieHardin-f4s]

Omg!!! Not enough people speak about how toxic healthcare is!!! The way higher ups speak to people is insane! And the racism is crazy

[@jnjenki]

In the pandemic my husband pointed out that I was getting so much of my self worth from work and my productivity. I started realizing that working myself to the bone doing the work of two people wasn’t going to make me wealthy, and realizing that my “mentors” were taking advantage of me. I developed boundaries at my next job and it has been such a game changer.

[@donnapug]

I left corporate tech here in Toronto for the very same reasons you outlined. The worst vampires I had to deal with were white women who presented themselves as allies, but tried to sabotage me at every turn. As long as I was under them they were ok, but the minute I showed ability and started to rise above them their true colours came shining through. I have to say that white men were completely different and if I’m being honest, they were so much easier to work with or for though don’t get it twisted, majority were mediocre but due to their being white and male, they always moved quickly up to the upper echelons. I’m now in a creative field and the women are still the same, but i know how to handle them now 😊

[@mylifeinrealtime]

I agree so much with your testimony. Women can be tough to work with. I was a target at a non-profit organization. She basically pushed me and others out of the organization. When the organization FINALLY caught up with her tactics they pushed her out. I, too, loved their mission, and that is what kept me there for a bit.

[@valeo3508]

I'm going through this right now omg you are speaking to me.

[@valeo3508]

If I may ask,what were some if the tactics you used to handle them?

[@Itsthe-jyeshta-ascendant]

Nursing Toronto! Just heard that a witch at work is torturing my name, telling the whole floor I am this and that, after coming to me so nicely, don’t trust people. Especially white miserable young ladies. They want the place to themselves! So sad.

[@Boymom2012]

Omg ! Older Gen X. I took my first vacation without my work computer and phone at 50!!FIRST TIME !! I had a child at 40 !!! Spoken word !!! Please continue this series!!!!

[@LiLi0881]

We need a part 2!!!!

[@umuclara1]

I work in a non-profit organization that allegedly fights for equality, empathy, mental health and social justice. I have experienced everything you mentioned. I have been looking for a new job, so hopefully, I can leave this toxic environment soon.

[@kamkarter8821]

We need a part 2. I am so tired my of my job thinking I am an angry black woman when I defend myself or even when I am not expressing anything. It’s so weird. Every email I send they think I am angry.

[@Servantofjesusforever]

I'm praying that justice be served for those who are mistreating you. People are threatened by those who ask questions. They will use anything possible to belittle and gaslight others including stereotypes because of their own insecurities.

[@carlabrown42]

Love this series. This happened to me fresh out of nursing school. Who knew a set of matching scrubs and little lipstick would get the girls so worked up.. 😂

[@Proactiff]

I’m officially “elder Gen X.” 😩 But I love it here! 😄 When asked what do I do, I’ve adopted the standard response, “The best that I can.” - Gen X Elder

[@ladylorp2738]

That was me in my 20s, always secure one job before I left the next n soon as they suspended me I would come home n apply to the next job. I’m now in my 30s and I no longer stress about finance. A job just terminated me n I’m like oops unemployment n focus on my degree that’s where I am.

[@kenitrarankin1928]

There is so much truth in what you're saying. The unwarranted advice, ppl being intimidated by your education or appearance, intended sabotage and brandishing of personal feelings in the workplace is horrendous. I was the only person in my office that had gotten their job on their own merit at a medical facility known for nepotism. Ppl have such a hard time believing the level of toxicity when i tell them but I'll never forget praying for strength and God answered in a way I didn't expect. He said this job is yours as long as you want it, once you leave it will no longer exist. After I quit, they scrap the dept and the company we were outsourced to disentegrated.

[@ashawntiford1457]

I survived 8 months in non profit I saw that toxicity and said NO THANK YOU! Poverty pimping is crazy . And then for them to think I cared about being there was crazy too 😭like hell nahh I’m out this shit

[@lkofie6670]

Yes... and that's why the last nonprofit organization that I worked for was just that... my last. I figured if I were going to work, I may as well work for a government entity that was backed by a union (meaning not working till you drop with no OT as it was when I was working the non-profit) and continue on with heading towards my pension before I say my goodbyes.

[@sbonelli]

When I heard “workplace trauma” I was shook. I echo your sentiments that the majority of the trauma I experienced has been in the workplace. Everything in this vid was a word for me. I have had so many instances of workplace trauma that it culminated in the darkest period of my life, thankfully I’m emerging from it and most importantly I’m learning from it so I don’t repeat it. Thank you for this jewel!💎

[@drdylesia]

“Nothing much” 😂😂😂 I’m finna use that 😂😂😂😂 imma be like “I be chillin” 😂

[@theultimatefoodie2666]

I am a federal government employee and I share these experiences almost EXACTLY! It’s so hard to put the trauma into words.

[@AScentedSoul]

And what’s sad is that outsiders view these jobs as “good jobs” because of the “benefits” and they think you have such a great salary. That may have been true years ago but it’s just false today. Just left USPS after 1 year… GHETTO! Horrible workplace. And they pay PEANUTS!

[@lifeandstyleatlanta8689]

Work place trauma led me into intensive therapy! OMG! I filed a EEOC lawsuit. I was so hopeful when my lawsuit made it through to be approved by judge. It had merit! I was being heard! But then I could not find a lawyer to take on the case pro bono. A lawyer finally told me that no lawyer was going to take on the highly respected international Christian nonprofit. He was right. I had a case, but I didn’t have the resources to fight it.

[@Servantofjesusforever]

Do not worry God doesn't need a lawyer justice will be served in your situation.

[@Aluvr2059]

Sad that these experiences are so commonplace. Financial trauma (scarcity mindset) has had me staying in workplaces where I should’ve walked out of sooner. These workplace will paint you as the problematic one when the concerns you raise are issues creating a hostile workplace. I too have been in tears because of the toxicity at work-at non profits that were drastically underpaying me. It stings more when those you work with/report to look like you, and are mistreating you and are undermining you at every turn.

[@thatsvickiIRL]

Listen, spot on !! You were "rewarded" if you had no personal life and worked like a dog 24/7. I was on call during my post recovery (day 2) after surgery and they guilted me into wanting to give more! Microappressions, the comments, the asks, the moving of the goal posts...all of it , all what you said and more. Unfortunately my colleagues were trash, still traumatized til this day !

[@mostlynatural]

As a nurse, I found this video incredibly insightful and informative. I learned so much from it. As a Black woman working in healthcare, I've witnessed some unsettling things, and your video has helped me better understand how to navigate challenging situations and toxic colleagues. Thank you so much, Tenicka!

[@Itsthe-jyeshta-ascendant]

Oh yes! Trust no one, do your job and move on!

[@altasoyster]

Commenting as I watch. “I am not my career.” Listen! At 26 (probably 24), I fell into the “If you make your passion your career, you’ll never feel like you’re working” trap. I was working in the nonprofit/public service sector. I married my identity to my career pursuits + ambition, and I didn’t start disentangling my identity from my career until 31-33 with a life coach AND a therapist, and when I tell you it was a PAINFUL process?

[@amena2172]

I love closet confession. This is a great series.

[@ShakeraSphere]

I came for the fashion but the closet confession are really making me see the depth of your life and personality and I'm learning so much

[@sincerelylatasha]

Decentering my career title was the best thing for my mental health and truly elevated my own self worth as me and not the roles that I had in the world/towards others. Thank you 💛💛

[@karenransom4874]

Excellent, excellent commentary on this topic. If anyone has not experienced this type of work environment, consider yourself blessed. I learned so much about myself in my duration of working in a toxic workplace. I was also blessed enough to find my soulmate and marry him. He taught me a lot about how to navigate through the foolishness. First and foremost, I stopped blaming myself for how other people treated me. I stopped being the angry black woman and ranting about how leadership was treating me terrible. Believe it or not, I allowed God to fight my battles. I wouldn’t say a disparaging word against my leadership nor co-workers. I committed myself to getting my work done in a timely manner. Leadership continued to bait me into situations where I would usually go off, but I didn’t fall for it. I smiled, prayed silently and kept it pushing. In under a year, my direct report and my menacing co-worker were forced into retirement. I even helped with their retirement parties, respectively😉😉😉. I eventually moved on and I know in a leadership position. I am intently about promoting a peace-filled, yet productive work environment for my colleagues. TGBTG🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@japeriawilliams4470]

Please keep these Closet Confessions videos coming!!! I love them sooo much! Makes me miss sit down videos! It’s always the “Allegedly”, “Miss Thing” for me!!!

[@TENICKAB]

lmao

[@carlasaysso]

I literally just left my job for all these reasons. All of this is so true! Thanks Tenika. Secure the bag. Make the move!

[@constanceturner1754]

Love it ..Nothing much i have to incorporate it into my conversations

[@lesleegrubbs-king5748]

Gurl, I work for the federal government at the largest clinical research organization in government. Gurl, you said a mouthful. People who do not have the experience of no how in government come at you sideways like you are crazy. I am paying my bills off and getting out as quickly as I can. I too have so much respect for the organization and the mission. I know I am supposed to be here for a little while but my time will come to an end sooner rather than later. I will miss it because I really love my job but I need peace and work-life balance.

[@MsGH91]

I love how you say "ALLEDGY"😂 enjoyed this video!

[@Tvwithmim]

Teaching is very toxic in this way except the trauma not only comes from colleagues. It also stems from working with students and their families. I’ve had a kid wish death on my unborn child. I’ve had a parent threaten to beat me up. I’ve had unsupportive and unprofessional principals. Teaching is such a personal job, that people make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. The school year has just started back up and I have developed insomnia from all the stress!

[@hopeimani_]

So helpful, going through a similar situation now and really appreciate your perspective. Corporate life is truly exhausting 😭

[@ticild4181]

I felt this whole closet confessional IN MY SOUL.

[@darbyerivera1121]

I’ve had similar experiences working in government where my passion and ambition were used to exploit me. Traumatized by my own (black) people and others as well. I’m glad you were able to strategize and not only survive through it, but thrive! Thanks for sharing. I love this series!

[@vandajohnson8588]

What do you do? “nothing much” I love it I like its say “its top secret”. 🤭

[@nickysunshine8734]

I like this one. I tell people “I just live my life” they assume I’m a stay at home wife/mom. I’m actually a Nurse, and I don’t like telling people that I meet in person. They automatically try to calculate what they think you have etc… I don’t like that!! So for about 2 years now I say…”I just live my life” people always seem dumbfounded 😂

[@theyoMi]

TB, please do more of these sit-downs. THIS is GOLD 🥇 ! I have passed this along to my daughter and nieces!! 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽

[@darlenehill3614]

Yes! Definitely enjoying this type of content! Thanks for sharing, being relatable!

[@evashethenomad1990]

I binge watched these and they’re all so raw and helpful as a woman in my late twenties. Please continue!!

[@PrettyAKAmplished]

Girl, I have experienced EVERYTHING you mentioned. Thanks for shining a spotlight on the common themes so many of us have confronted.

[@SaintlyIconicSoul]

Having all of these similar thoughts while working right now. This is right on time and what I needed. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@jamaaznyaboke9434]

I have been waiting for this! Iam a doctor and this is just to the point!

[@ChariRee]

Yes! I am mostly there. I don't think about the hospital until the day before my 7 on.

[@monicamercadel5405]

Thank you for sharing, I am glad you came out on the other side, victorious!

[@Halimah525]

I’m in the early stages of making major changes in my career field. My plan is to make the change by Spring 2025!!

[@shonnelleb]

I love this series. It’s sad to say that these issues still exist today.

[@lkofie6670]

In regards to the younger generation I can say this much. I'm Gen X and frankly compared to my generation if gen Z for example we're going through all that you explained in the video, they would flat out up and leave and not give one damn about "What's next?" They would not tolerate any of it and would figure it out in the end I have to say that's what I do admire about their generation, and likely, they have the opportunity and flexibility to do so because they are young and they have less responsibilities and debt compared to say, someone of my generation or stage in life. But... someway, somehow, they land on their feet.

[@shervondavid6882]

I absolutely love love those confessions/ episodes

[@TolasTableau]

This is such a good series!!!!! And yes to the “Nothing much” answer when folks ask what do you do? Chilllleeee I like to say I’m a philanthropist 😂😂😂😂 or I say, this and that. LET EM’ WONDA!!! 😂😂😂

[@winxbratz]

When you said people were expected to leave after their boss ☹️💀omg now I see why people complain about Gen z🤣 I leave the office 😭 at four thirty (work ends at 5) and I advocated for work from home days in my contract and I got them 💀

[@NelaEllaAYE]

This video is alignment I work in Public Health and GWORL!! You said all things. We definitely need a part 2!

[@daliaflanders6598]

I am loving these closet confessions , thakk you for sharing!!

[@abztv8594]

Thank You for talking about the truth of non profit organizations.. the pettiness, i ran away and went into tech.

[@mjones8459]

I'm a new sub 🎉🎉🎉 & I just ❤❤❤❤the closet confessions. Very therapeutic & inspirational😍

[@TENICKAB]

Thanks for subbing!

[@lkofie6670]

Oh yes... I work for the government right now... "a good government job." Most of my career has been working in Social Services as well in both non-profit and government sector and it's also my educational background. But I can honestly tell you, I am READY to do "nothing much" once I am vested for my future pension.

[@Golden73-xp1mw]

After 25 years in the Corporate Medical and Tech Sales in some of the most well know corporations; these are not safe spaces for Black women. 5 months post corporate and I couldn't be happier.The trauma and stories are next level

[@nickysunshine8734]

I tell people “I just live my life” they assume I’m a stay at home wife/mom. I’m actually a Nurse, and I don’t like telling people that I meet in person. They automatically try to calculate what they think you have etc… I don’t like that!! So for about 2 years now I say…”I just live my life” people always seem dumbfounded 😂

[@Carlyon100]

I usually say I breathe in and breathe out when they ask what i do.

[@SunniDai_7]

This was such a great conversation 👏 👌, I can relate so much!

[@saraht1367]

that girl boss era was very, very problematic.

[@TENICKAB]

whew chile we were bamboozled

[@NiqLikes]

This closet series has given me so much to think about in so many aspects of my life. I'm definitely going to be rewatching them especially this one because whew.

[@taniadalberiste3501]

These closet confessions are good. Love them.

[@Nikabooski]

Thank you for sharing your experience with workplace trauma and toxicity. I am currently trying to navigate my workplace situation.

[@kimpossible2725]

I don't know why we stopped using MAC lipglass, but I've noticed a resurfacing as of late. 🤔

[@thisgirlisfancy]

I’m the only one who didn’t. I still love me some MAC and never stopped. I’m glad it’s coming back around.

[@kimpossible2725]

@thisgirlisfancy I feel you. I adore their lipstick, and for the most part, they are all I wear. ❤️ BTW, they made Ruby Woo better, and there is a matching lip liner. 🤯

[@lindaann768]

Omg so glad you spoke on this topic I myself work in Non for Profit Great tips and jewels Thank You

[@kerryjo]

Loving these closet confessions!!❤keep them coming.

[@AnnieBass-qv9fg]

These videos are so refreshing and needed.

[@briscott09]

Currently what I’m dealing with. Like literally. Tuned in to watch this on high volume 😊

[@cls393]

Not high volume. Gurl, content like this, I want to turn the volume up for my toxic coworkers!

[@lkofie6670]

Oh yes, that Infamous, "So what do you do?" question. I never understood why people decide to ask others who they're meeting for the first time or barely know such questions.

[@KiimKash]

“Absolutely” … we need that on merch! 😂

[@asc_yourself_why]

Love the range, depth and transparency of this series.

[@Dee-rf1up]

Thank you so much for sharing your stories throughout this series. I've been following you on social media for some time, and I can always expect a colorful and luxurious slay from you lol. I'm so grateful for you sharing your wisdom and navigating different experiences in life. This one hit home for me deeeeply! Corporate/non profit work can be so cold and mess with you mental.

[@MarlinNavarrete]

I’m really enjoying this series keep them coming. ❤

[@julie_khamati]

Loving these series❤

[@yeamaneal5652]

This was so riveting, 💯 true and so sad. Yes, please continue to do these type of content.

[@marienewbo1822]

I love listening to you talk. You drop so many gems. Thank you.

[@mr.mrs.salmon8394]

Thank you for this closet series. It's amazing that despite states apart there are soooo many similarities in the 'journey'. I am completely jaded at this point and finally understand that who you think is for you is not. Wolves in sheep clothing is real😂. 💜💜

[@EdoQueen1]

Enjoyed this episode, can’t wait for the next!!! 🤍🫶🏾

[@swhatley1226]

Can you share a little about how you healed from financial trauma? 🤞🏾

[@gummybear347]

New subbie here! These closet confessions are some of my favorites of your content.

[@SymonnePeters]

i RAN here

[@SymonnePeters]

I keep a hefty emergency fund, but I'm still trying to decouple who I am from what I do. I had to work hard, and it was all on me. 😢

[@katiejohnson1483]

LOVING CLOSET CONFESSIONS!❤❤❤❤❤ GREAT ADVICE!

[@briellejoseph8342]

This was so good! Really loving this type of content.

[@prudencelamptey6584]

Love this!!!

[@kduncan574]

Yessssss! Ppl will never know what I do as a career. I don’t care to lead into a conversation with that information.

[@afriquelowery6861]

Love this video!

[@KinVA27]

Love these - keep them coming!

[@hazelmaybelline4608]

I love this!!! Especially being a black woman, it’s hard to navigate in the workplace. Thank you for your stories and wisdom!!!! This will better women in general 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[@TheDaniDistrict]

If they could give you a $70K increase on the spot, they knew you were underpaid to start 😫😭 I’m trying to curse less and this not helping 😤 …. But the ✌🏾allegedly✌🏾 is sending me through the roof 😂😂😂😂

[@gossipgirl9508]

im loving this series, not sure what you would talk about next, maybe travel? but either way im tuning in.

[@SK-gr2rm]

greatly appreciate you sharing...if you think it's happening to you, it's definitely happening!

[@grayspace5638]

Me currently in my mini retirement season after 1.5 years of not working feeling deeply affirmed and finding my ppl🥰

[@brokenbourgeoisie4656]

Tenicka, what a gift you are ❤

[@azizasingh]

Thank you for this!

[@TheModestFashionista]

Yes, I do like this content from you. 💕Looking forward to more. :) Thank you.

[@tizitapusch9780]

Keep it coming Tenika.

[@Outessicorp]

Robbing Peter trying to pay Paul has got to be the funnest thing I’ve heard all week

[@TENICKAB]

lol

[@winxbratz]

No I don’t think people in their 20s should behave differently- the reason why workplace traumas continue is because previous generations just sat there and tolerated the toxicity

[@Mrs.Hawthorne24]

Oh baby! I’m enjoying this kind of content, FOR SURE! It’s so real, so raw and I’m sure like myself, so relatable. Oooh girl smh just don’t make no sense. And not her coming to work with Timberland boots on smelling like weed hunny! Girl that part took me out 😂 but the audacity!! 🤦🏾‍♀️chile😒

[@christinemcliesh7628]

Amen!

[@rainetravels1410]

Yep, I say the same thing." not much" to people who I don't have any kind of business with that are introduced to me. It comes from me, losing jobs and realizing that God is the most important🎉