Cockney Star Trek

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[@RootlessNZ]

I'm a Cockney (born and raised in Mile End) who is also a linguist (Post grad Dip Ling) and I loved this little sketch. The accents and dialogue are convincing enough but there's not enough of it. What I'd really like to see is a Cockney version of Downton Abbey. Now that would be fun.

[@garryharriman7349]

😂

[@anthonycullen]

Mile End that's where Bertie Smalls is from right mackerel

[@RootlessNZ]

@@anthonycullen Not with you there me ol' china - explain please.

[@anthonycullen]

@@RootlessNZ Berti Smalls was a supergrass put untold people behind bars back in the 70s, By the way is the Cotton Arms still open in Mile End

[@RootlessNZ]

Thanks for the explanation. The Cotton Arms open? Afraid I don't know. I've lived in Wellington New Zealand for the past 35 years and I miss London like you wouldn't believe.

[@greg3087]

2 decades of watching Guy Ritchie films prepared me for this. I totally understood everything.

[@larryhajdasz220]

I hear ya', but it has morphed or evolved, "Mugged"/"mugged off" = "are you taking a piss"?

[@paulakennedy2085]

You must be a proppa geeeezer .

[@Kev-england-LFC-32]

same lol

[@martinfiedler4317]

You could have spent the time more productive on learning Klingon, High Valyrian and Classical Latin... Any of these languages sounds more aesthetic, too ;)

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

@@martinfiedler4317 Cockney double rhymes are pretty hard to get.

[@bethk3773]

Only thing wrong with this is there isn't enough of it.

[@TheZ1A900]

@James Hodson out

[@jamescunningham2807]

Beth K, are you mugging us off?

[@gwynbetts29]

...keep yer minces peeled lads, KZbin might put some more out, but me thinks they’re mugging us off! Proper naughty like, know wot I mean.😉

[@lowfatedes]

Spot on

[@martinfiedler4317]

It would revive the franchise!

[@dorphlthewise1]

Thank you for the recommendation youtube, 13 years later.

[@SnarkNSass]

Yeah same here!

[@Cunoslav]

Same

[@Cunoslav]

@The Vintage Movie Box Office The KZbin algorithm doesn't know what is doing half the time and the other half doesn't know what the hell is doing...

[@Cunoslav]

@The Vintage Movie Box Office 😂😂😂😂😂

[@themonkeyman4804]

@@Cunoslav @The Vintage Movie Box Office Thats so true

[@Quadrant14]

I wet my pants every time I watch this, I am an older Aussie and have been to the UK many many times and heard the lingo everywhere so I understand everything they are saying.......geezus I wish this was made into a TV series

[@SubjectRandom21]

"You aint muggin us off are yer bones?" too funny, pmsl. I wish they'd make an actual episode.

[@VVK5W]

Still hilarious. For an added laugh, turn on the captions. The AI is losing its mind trying to caption these guys!

[@metalmusic4958]

Hahaha

[@WaterShowsProd]

That was not in the least bit disappointing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@fishtales2597]

instead of proper Naughty at the end AI get a Nazi lol

[@themoondial2627]

Lmao.

[@wyyrdojim]

Excellent suggestion!😹😂🤣

[@Fatima502]

"To be fair, there ain't a lot happening, as it goes" - my favourite

[@shockwave4742]

I wouldn't say no to a whole episode of this.

[@pwareham61]

Nor Me

[@billhopen]

I want to see the movie

[@forevergamer245]

Yep lol

[@forevergamer245]

@@billhopen lol

[@UncaAlbyGmail]

I wouldn't say no either. I wouldn't _watch_ it, but that's entirely diff'rnt inn't?

[@kevinwilliams1421]

Danny dyer whole career in a minute

[@Laffy-ix5xy]

I was thinking the same thing. It's like an episode of EastEnders 😁

[@russelledwards001]

@@Laffy-ix5xy dyers pwoper pwoper naughty.

[@michaelelsy2209]

This was so unfunny.

[@pboo2607]

He's a mockney not a cockney.

[@pboo2607]

@@michaelelsy2209 You got no sense of humour you hearth rug.

[@UmbrellaWatch]

That was damn good! Loved it! 2024 Anyone?

[@randyhill4549]

They needed Nan on the bridge talking to the Klingons: "Come to see me, aint cha?"

[@londonalicante]

Thank you for that. I really struggled to find anything to laugh at in this video. But the idea of Nan has really got me thinking! "What you Klingons comin' in 'ere for with that forehead lookin' like a piece of shit? My Jim's a good boy. Leave im alone ya little tosspot! What a Fuckin' Liberty!"

[@peterdrew2044]

Nan was brill. Reminded me of my aunt Flo

[@FixFilmsLtd]

I never get tired of watching this classic KZbin Sketch!

[@cfw1974]

They've taken a much-loved sci-fi classic and turned it into a joke. That is naughty, that is proper naughty!

[@simapark]

Pwopa not proper - get it right !

[@stuartmiller621]

Pwopper naawty fella aintcha

[@cfw1974]

@@stuartmiller621 you ain’t muggin me off there are ya Stuart?

[@freespeech4023]

You would wanna shut your North and south unless you wanna be brown bread , you slag hahaa

[@douglasgreen437]

Proper nawty moody Geezer Jim...

[@philiplewis7252]

The only thing wrong with this is that it's too short!

[@uniquemodeling1037]

That's what she said

[@jamesbaker9106]

@@uniquemodeling1037 who, your bird?

[@bettyswunghole3310]

I was hoping we'd see Jim lumping a Klingon in the face whilst saying: "... _'Ave it!!!_ "

[@donaldstanfield8862]

BAHAHAHAAH!!

[@MrWhistlejacket]

Spock can't keep a straight face...and the sound of the sliding door / nose wipe is utter genius..and the phrase `..in case it comes on top..` brilliant, inspired and inspirational..

[@anniebroadbent7961]

'They've mugged us right off.' Laughed out loud, I did!

[@andrewsmith2763]

The delivery of that last line is golden!

[@The_Real_Devil]

Plot twist: Bones was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

[@twotone3070]

Another nice crossover quote.

[@FINDINGFITNESS101]

`I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm hard" Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

[@GiacomoJimmi]

This needs to be a feature-length movie.

[@Posit_Zero_Blue]

Directed by Guy Ritchie featuring Alan Ford as Khan!

[@davidhollins2582]

There is a gay one by a German comedian.

[@robertarmstrong2470]

The sequal,"GEORDIES ON THE STARBOARD BOW", Monkey tennis?

[@LaoZi2023]

@TheRenaissanceman65 I've been watching Shetland, trying to get used to the accent. Although the accent isn't too, too thick in that series.

[@bwhatever60]

I hope it comes with sub titles!

[@Voltaire7]

I want to watch the whole show, this is the best star trek ever!

[@CarlosGarcia-yg9je]

As an American, this cracks me up!

[@douglasfreeman3229]

As a darn fine english gentleman I find this most amusing.

[@FahadAyaz]

@@douglasfreeman3229 As a much more ruddy English lad, I find the two of youse proper smarmy

[@notlikely4468]

Now you listen here! He's not a Klingon...He's a very naughty boy!

[@twotone3070]

Nice crossover quote.

[@alexanderfrankcastro5619]

"Proper naughty moody geezers!" Ha!

[@MaskedMan66]

+Alexander Frank Castro That about sums them up! :-)

[@bp996]

Alexander Frank Castro

[@Nathan-1234]

with subtitles it says this is gonna get oh Nazi

[@pineapplepenumbra]

So what would the Klingons sound like in this Universe? Scousers?

[@pineapplepenumbra]

Maybe Glaswegians?

[@yorktown99]

French!

[@dyingsun23]

Germans, probably :) Or would that be the Borg?

[@MaskedMan66]

Yorkshiremen.

[@Bob3D2000]

I thought the Borg were Swedish.

[@longi625]

I work with geezers like this every day, there are times when you've finished having a conversation with them you just have to laugh! And then shorts like this turn up from time to time and it's even funnier! I'm working in Plaistow tomorrow and it's not coming soon enough!

[@douglasgreen437]

It's gonna get proper norty sun...

[@shaunbarnett2972]

This is one of the most hilarious skits I've ever seen in my life. If you've ever spent much time watching proper Star Trek and then you watch this, the contrast is brilliant, literally rolling on the floor haha

[@jordanthecat]

Where is a Universal Translator when you need one?

[@DMSProduktions]

Wot? Don' yew speak the Queen's English?

[@joeloates1685]

@@DMSProduktions Late reply and I know I'm spoiling the joke but this is the complete opposite of the "Queen's English"

[@georgerigberg4335]

Try turning on captioning 🤣 but at least it isn't Scots or Welsh...

[@DMSProduktions]

@@joeloates1685 Caw blimey Guv'nah!

[@joeloates1685]

@@DMSProduktionsI'm not saying we don't speak like that (in parts of London) I'm just saying it's not the queen's English. That's how posh fuckers talk.

[@willsketchesmusic]

"We're being mugged off by the Klingons" lol

[@geoforce3214]

I don't understand a thing... But I love the sound of it...

[@NoahSpurrier]

You should listen to South Africans when they mix English and Afrikaans. I love their accent.

[@robkeaton6143]

"Bones, you dayah, son?" gets me every time

[@kinsmed]

Run this through the Universal Translator. THEN run a Level 1 diagnostic on it.

[@avengingterrier3244]

You what? (I'm having a laugh)

[@aenygma]

Lololol

[@mirkhwand]

"Proper naughty moody geezers!" 🤣 LOL!!! I hope there is a part two to this one.

[@owenmills3517]

@Younes Bnl aye lad can’t be doing with that

[@johnzane3977]

I'm a yank but couldn't help but laugh at this.

[@davidklein4980]

What percentage dis you understand? :-D

[@darthvader5701]

A proper yanker!

[@johnmartinez7440]

Why would that mean you wouldn't laugh at it?

[@lewisner]

You're having a giraffe ?

[@ketmaniac]

This septic's having a Turkish.

[@eddsnake]

And nearly 14 years later this boldy goes and shows up in my recommendations.

[@NoahSpurrier]

I am still looking for a whole series of this programme.

[@NatashaZooks]

I could watch a whole series of this

[@Chrzanek31]

"This is gonna get pppphhhhhhropper naughty" :D Hilarious! :D

[@rub1tan679]

Love the Coke sniffing at the beginning, the whole clip proper funny 😂

[@chrisst8922]

Straight up.

[@Professicchio]

This is waaaaaaaaaaay funnier if you watch it with the Closed Captions on.

[@Professicchio]

***** True also.

[@----.__]

+Professicchio Thank you, I would have missed out on that otherwise. That made me laugh more than the original clip!! [edit] _the celebrity moms up by night will be my golf ball ticking_... wtaf!!

[@MaskedMan66]

+Professicchio Dr. Leonard H. "Bounce" McCoy!

[@geraldhenrickson7472]

Hey thanks...that really cleared things up for me! Yah baby!

[@mequin8803]

fuck me the closed captions are awful! did soneone write those or are they computer generated? serious q, as that is not what they are saying!

[@MrWhistlejacket]

Those haircuts are a work of art...

[@TheManwithaview]

Wigs

[@hazelanderson1479]

@@TheManwithaview Syrups.

[@grindupBaker]

So my Dad was British Army 1931-1945 and I copied a number of little bits of catchy tunes and sayings like "middle for diddle" from him when I was 8-15 years old and I didn't clue in until I was singing one about low-priced Italian meatballs in a building lobby when I was 38 years old and a business client really stared at me funny like. I gradually figured out several of them but I'm still not sure what I'm saying now I'm 71.

[@Isleofskye]

75 now,my friend. I trust you are still going strong..

[@caaaaaammy_g]

Geordie star trek; "Giz a lift wor scotty" "Aye alreet ked"

[@lewisner]

Error 404 haddaway and shite man.

[@StewFisher]

Geordie is in TNG, who also is the chief engineer.. First you have Scotty than Geordie. i'm surprised that voyager didn't have "brummie"

[@bridgerectifier7711]

Nobody ever has a shit in space.

[@bridgerectifier7711]

No, I haven't seen that. I'll keep a look out for that one. Cheers !!!

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

Canny belta!

[@Aerojet01]

He's brown bread Jim.

[@Boylieboyle]

Beautiful.

[@deemdoubleu]

That's the best comment hands down

[@phillipsmiley5930]

Eee copped a flower pot

[@Aerojet01]

@@deemdoubleu Thank you :)

[@Aerojet01]

@@Boylieboyle thank you :)

[@colinbraddock7185]

"Awright son, jump in the bricks an' we'll have a butchers at this new planet, eh?" "Excuse me?" "Bricks an' mortar, innit? Transporter?" "Oh, right..."

[@russelledwards001]

Put yer rhythms on then son we’re goin dahn the battle cruiser.

[@admiralcraddock464]

Bricks an mortar......daughter

[@Randallw0rth]

@@admiralcraddock464 Now, yes...but in the future, who knows?

[@billhenderson511]

I watch this regularly and it the best star trek spin off!!! Proper Naughty!

[@paulmccafffery5231]

I watch this 3 times every day. Hilarious

[@johnsherwin9962]

"I ain't popped a single Klingon boat!" Love it!!!

[@Nooziterp1]

For those who don't get it, boat - boat race - face. Klingon face.

[@jtpencils]

I kept waiting for the Capt to shout at the First Officer “whattta YOU know, you’re from the NEXT Generation!”

[@prince-solomon]

I would watch the entire series! Hilarious! Them naughty Klingons are having a laugh!

[@BillyCosmosis]

"I sent Bones dahn there early bewlls to have a nose arahnd and keep 'is minces peeled in case it comes on top" 😂

[@Grzybo93]

For those who don't know: minces = mince pies = eyes

[@BillyCosmosis]

I may as well give the full glossary: "Early bells" = very early in the morning "Nose around" = reconnaissance "Minces" = mince pies = eyes "Eyes Peeled" = eyes open = alert "Comes on Top" = Circumstances develop into a situation requiring immediate action.

[@Grzybo93]

@@BillyCosmosis Btw does "liberty" means Liberty X = sex/fvck or something?

[@BillyCosmosis]

@@Grzybo93 (taking) "a liberty" means a second party taking an action that's beyond the bounds of what's considered acceptable to the first party. Jim therefore declares that they've been "mugged off" i.e. taken for fools by the Klingons.

[@BillyCosmosis]

1:01 "You 'aving a turkish son? "turkish" = turkish bath = cockney rhyming slang for 'laugh" Therefore he's asking, "are you having a laugh?" i.e. "are you joking Bones?"

[@lewisnwkc]

Kicking off big time = Things are beginning to look ugly Gonna have a tear up = Have a fight Propper moody geezers = Really unsavoury types of people Early Bells = Early in the morning / day Have a nose around = Have a look around Mincers Peeled = Eyes Open Incase it comes ontop = Incase it get's out of control Sweet as a nut as it goes = Very good so far / Really well up to date What's the script? = What's the story / What's happening so far?

[@CanadairCL44]

"You 'avin a Turkish?" = Are you having a Turkish bath? = Are you having a laugh? = Are you joking?

[@BucephalusHume]

Also forgot mugged off, and proper naughty

[@mikewellwood1412]

Plus "boat" for "face" ("boat race")

[@mikewellwood1412]

Fortunately, none of them wuz 'avin' a Sherman/Tommy (tank).

[@kpec3]

Thanks for writing that because I couldn't understand the swet as a nut line.

[@NazSBG]

Soccer am at its best. It was side splitting hilarious back in the days of Tim Lovejoy presenting it with these boys doing the comedy sketches!

[@FHIPrincePeter]

Haven't laughed so much in a long time.

[@vlobster7660]

i cant get by 44 seconds as im on the floor laughing!!!...who are these guys???...brilliant!!

[@jaakkooksa5374]

English is a wonderfully diverse language with a huge number of different vernaculars.

[@russellwhite1581]

I think the Cockney Trekkers would need their universal translator to understand your comment....

[@jaakkooksa5374]

@@russellwhite1581 Why? I am not even a native anglophone. In fact I have never even lived in an English-speaking country. My fluency in English comes almost entirely from reading books.

[@Torthrodhel]

There should totally be a Star Trek alternate universe where each type of alien is just a different British accent. :D

[@joannehughes5249]

Yeah, a Brummie one and a Geordie one

[@joannehughes5249]

@Rick Jess Yeah!! That would be funny

[@robmclean4352]

The engineer could have a Scottish acce...oh, wait...

[@bouse23]

The vulcans would be posh the andorians scottish the delorians welsh the romulans Yorkshire the klingons geordie the ferenghi scouse and if there is a farmer race they can have west country accents. Ive prob thought about this too long.

[@leighkelly2161]

That would be brilliant 😁

[@charlessmyth]

So that's how you make Star Trek into Blake's 7 :-)

[@patrickclaeys6512]

avon callin'

[@David_Watts]

I have to watch this about once or twice a month, so I can reset...know that life is gonna be ok 😆😁 Once a Yank has gone and lived amongst the Brits, it NEVER leaves him.. cheers

[@zeta1593]

I almost didn't understand anything but goddamn that accent is THE english accent that represents the best england to a foreigner like me. Wish we learned this pronunciation instead of that poshy RP at school !

[@tulsatombob2769]

I'm a Texan and I understood everything! LOL

[@davidsanderson5918]

Wot, even the rhyming slang ("keep his minces peeled?", "are you havin a Turkish?")....well done! :)

[@malcolmabram2957]

In its way cockney is quite eloquent and lovely to listen to.

[@nickcatling7724]

Yer 'avin' a Giraffe mate, septics yer aint got a Scoobies.

[@Nooziterp1]

Did you use Google Translate? Lol.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

"When it comes on top" Liam sings this in Cigarettes and Alcohol, I understand it means something like "when shit hits the fan"

[@stevecook5930]

My favorite moment is 0:41 when he sent Bones down to have a nose around.

[@mitsubishi777]

Me, too. My English teacher who was an Englishman told me that my ability at English was pretty good for a non-native speaker of English when I was a high school student. However, I could not catch what they said. In Britain and Ireland, there are a lot of tough accents which are difficult to catch even for native speakers, I heard.

[@NidgeOSullivan]

I'm Irish and have two Scottish friends, took me a while to understand them, once it clicks it clicks, but scottish and some northern Irish accents are the worst, I lived near London for a long time so understood all this perfectly and I can quite easily slip back into a similar accent anytime I go back, proper naughty

[@mattsmith2238]

Had me in stitches. Proper good...

[@denastyone2788]

I'm American and I like when you guys make fun of our accents CAN I GET A CHEESEBURGER AND SOME FRIES😀😀😀😀

[@makeitsonumberone1358]

The captain sounded like micky Flanagan, "right lads were going Out! Out!" 😂

[@OAKIE9531]

would love a season of this

[@jduff59]

Damn! I was betting they couldn't go a minute without saying the phrase "Mugging Me (or Us) off, and it came in at a minute +five. Proper.

[@valkyrja-]

When you can’t sleep at 2 am and start YouTubing British accents and this pops up afterwards. Video posted 12 yrs ago lol

[@wyyrdojim]

I used to watch East Enders, so I understand Cockney!😹😂🤣

[@davehoward22]

The danny dyer school of acting

[@v00n2000]

@spudnic88 you fackin plum

[@cacambo589]

They're not that bad.

[@ianhill4585]

Or Danny Dyer , being..... Danny Dyer, innit?!

[@pj5517]

possibly the worst actor in history so doubt it

[@manchild3479]

@@pj5517 apart from four letter expletives.which is all he is good for...............

[@Johnny_Seven]

This is so good, why can't we have stuff like this on the telly.

[@NidgeOSullivan]

Cos telly is now the home of lies, fear, propaganda, advertising and crap programs in between

[@vintagethings9187]

“Ows the family?” Perfect😂😂😂

[@senianns9522]

Very good! I'm a Londoner by birth and 'Having a Turkish' was a new one for me! Laugh!

[@themindasmusic]

he could of said, 'a giraffe' instead

[@bubble-r8b]

Or having a bubble

[@themindasmusic]

I thought that was: 'bubble and squeak '

[@robair67]

@@themindasmusic yes, it used to be giraffe in the 20th century. Has gradually morphed with the times and now, with the disappearance of giraffes in East London, the younger generation of cockneys have taken to using this more relevant and complex form of rhyming slang. Friday and Saturday nights between the years of 2005 and 2015 really established the new form, with kebab wrappers flying across the Mile End Road, from Stratford to Whitechapel, inconveniencing Prius drivers on hire/reward journeys.

[@Tarhunna]

@@themindasmusic No that's the late Duke of Edinburgh,,,

[@james5553]

Starts with the captain spinning round after a cheeky dab of coke and a huge sniff !

[@superbrit3845]

Such a shame that this is a one off, absolutely brilliant, we need a full episode of this, love the opening where he's doing a line of Columbia's finest powder.................lol.

[@ernestolombardo5811]

Why can't I stop watching this damn thing?

[@Afee-mj2gi]

I live in east London. They all talk like that especially in Dagenham

[@mannixflinn6227]

Dagenham. Where London meets Essex and it all goes tits up.

[@Nsinger998]

Whats really neat is despite not knowing cockney; I still understood what they were saying.

[@alanluber5383]

OMG, this is terrific, I would gladly take this over Discovery or Picard.

[@charleshowie2074]

It's not great, but it still pisses over Discovery/Picard.

[@OleHolm-sq7yj]

If they spoke like that in Star Trek, the show would have been even more awesome.

[@Sci-Fi-Punisher]

"Do you FINK I'm gonna have that with FEM mugs!" 🤣

[@johnschultz2000]

that was hilarious and I just thought they would have been great Code Talkers in World War II.🤣😅😆

[@HootOwl513]

SOE tried, but they couldn't make sand paintings worth a damn.

[@manuelsoto9134]

We're gonna have a tear up with klingons. ..lol

[@3DPeter]

i'm from holland, and to me this sounds close to australian, and then there's alexei sayle in the 80'with "ullo john got a new motah" and that cockney too i gues.

[@andypandy4078]

Australian is derived from cockney as it was the place where the majority of the early settlers (ie transported convicts) originated.

[@sonnymiracle]

OMG- PLEASE do a whole movie of this...I'm cryyyyyyyyying this is so friggin funny! Pruhpah laaaaf!!!!

[@amsedelm]

"Do you fink..." Ha ha!

[@M.O.T.E.]

Guy Richie should make the next Star Trek movie: Lock, Spock, and Two Smoking Barrels!

[@avengingterrier3244]

Nice one, but it would be better as Lock, Spock, and two smoking Phasers.

[@harrypalmer3481]

Top draw Pukka! Right down to Cockney Spock's stance, brilliant! I giggled my thrupennies off. To go with bottle where no geezer's gone before.....Safe!

[@suhciel]

Thank you so much. I watch this every time I need to cheer up as I'm a moody geezer - it works 👍 It's proper naughty.

[@brantwilliams8449]

You fink I'm gonna 'ave that? You really fink I'm gonna 'ave that?

[@justforever96]

What IS up with some English accents using "F" instead of "th"? Annoys the hell out of me!

[@padraigcronin1172]

It can go the other way too. I once saw Bugs Bunny's nemesis spelt as Elmer Thud.

[@lincolntrewethey]

Justforever96 - I was finkin' the same bloody fing. Irritatin', innit? Stiwww, it puts a proper 'four minute' on yer boat, dunnit?

[@MicheleBornaEOLDoula]

I'd watch a full series of this.

[@slurpingticklepestchristsc5433]

I up thumped it as soon as I heard "Right lads, listen up"...

[@nicholasangel4582]

A bunch of ferenghi in pearly kings and queen outfits giving it some speil would have been a good script.

[@jamescarr4662]

A rather offensive avatar you have there, representing as it does a terrorist settler colonial state.

[@ErwinPommel]

@@jamescarr4662 Tosser

[@ma61king]

NO KLINGONS? YOU 'AVIN A TURKISH, SON?!

[@marcconyard5024]

Don matta nah, do it. Having two cockney parents I copped a lot of grief at school over my accent which was pretty Londonish until I was about 13.

[@mannixflinn6227]

"Copped a lot of grief." That's as cockney as it gets.

[@nickbaker9723]

Imagine a Geordie Star Trek! It would be awesome!

[@subliteral]

I , for one , love Cockney Star Trek and want more.