Show Her YOU Are One of The Good Guys!

[@randydell4131]

I also gave up the apps...the apps seem like gold diggers, they are just after your wallet...Once I gave up on the apps, and put myself out there...I have been meeting lovely older women....everywhere from a youngster of 55 to a lovely 72 year old....give up on the stupid apps, and put yourself out there, I meet people everywhere...just be nice, be open and smile.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

you know, I created a whole 48 page, free guide recently on this topic. Please do share with us your encouragement and some instruction on how you are meeting women in the wild…!

[@randydell4131]

@@CoffeewithCarey I moved to Georgia after being on the road in my RV for a couple years. Georgia is so different than Las Vegas where I grew up, lived and worked for 70+ years and knew hundreds of people. Then to top it all off I was building a place to live, garden and a coop for the chickens...so I was in rough work clothes all the time...after I gave up on the apps, I always cleaned myself up, and put on nice casual clothes even for a quick trip to the home improvement store. I have always had a good build, however when going out, I pay close attention to always having a smile on my face, standing up straight, and making sure my clothes are neat and shoes are clean. If I am in Home Depot/Lowes and someone is confused or searching for something, I offer to help…. When I am in the market shopping I pay attention to women in the isles and always say good morning...etc. Recently when at a coffee shop there was a bulletin board, and on it was an animal rescue looking for volunteers..right up my alley. So yes, I volunteer for everything...I have helped several people with home improvement projects they can’t do and I am good with that. If we don’t or can’t help our fellow human beings what good are we. I have changed my attitude from will I find the one, to there are lots of people, my job is to sort through them.

[@Private-GtngxNMBKvYzXyPq]

Where are the good guys? I think a lot of us have decided to hit pause while we re-adjust. We are doing our research, figuring out how to be masculine without being toxic, make women feel protected not threatened, show our value and values without coming across as narcissistic, be vulnerable without being needy, and be the best kind of men who a woman can look up to. Our hearts and minds are in the right place, but it doesn’t hurt to learn better dance moves, dress for success, and be more physically fit. We have received the message from women and we’re doing the work to put it into action. Hopefully, before too long, the men who have taken the time to adjust will be back looking forward to seeing some smiles in public places letting us know we won’t be arrested for saying hello.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Where? They’re out there dating!! I have 38 of them currently, that I am working with, and they’re dating every weekend! Amazing men! Everybody’s on a different schedule. 📆 I think it’s fantastic that you’re working on yourself! I just love when clients tell me that they just can’t wait to get out there now and try out everything they’ve learned! Put it all to practice in a real relationship with a real human partner! Lol.o

[@SanctifiedLady]

Sounds amazing! 🎉 hope it all comes together perfectly for you.

[@palomahealing5073]

I gave up!!!🥺 I'm just curious in the process these days...but It's been so looooong, that I don't even want sex! Nope, Zero..

[@CoffeewithCarey]

desire is definitely a use it or lose it situation. You could get back your drive if you decided you wanted it back. 🤎👍

[@LieingCostsYourSoulTellElders]

Beautiful face u have. Don't miss the excitment of a new womans cherry Red vagina each time. Billions out there. That goes the heart healthy and it does go from extreme excitment biologically. All different races too. A word Vietnam. drooling there wow. Women can't understand her Own nakedness loss of sexuality and sex drive forever in the upcoming future. We need vagina Once vibe are there all there is to think about beside close peeople is new vagina and consumption I would hate to see u lose sexuality knowledge. It's the final desert topping. No more Sloppy sex or loss of intention for another woman page. I should add erection loss also

[@willcoleman2014]

Thanks again Carey. I haven’t been on a dating app for over ten years (didn’t end well…) What I’ve found is - when you arrive at not needing a partner in your life, you can make a friendly approach without an agenda and see if it goes somewhere - or nowhere…

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Takin it as it comes. I see you.

[@TonganJedi]

I don't know if I'm a "good guy", but I can tell you where I am: avoiding the sexual marketplace and enjoying the fruits of my labor. I'm working on becoming a better version of myself every day and not looking for external validation.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

How would you not know if you’re a good guy?

[@TonganJedi]

​@@CoffeewithCareyI don't think women want "good guys" so it's not something I spend much energy on.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@TonganJedi YDYD

[@t.m.i.1245]

I am widowed and gave up on dating apps for exactly these reason's and I'm in my 50's! Expecting for men to be more serious, honest and mature in behavior at pur age, I've come to the frustrating conclusion that though many men grow older, they do NOT mature mentally. I think dating apps to many people are viewed as an easy way to " playmate" not find a life mate. I refuse to ever return to an app. It's not only the apps. A dear friend tried introducing a man she thought would be a good match for me, and he was shockingly full of gross pick up line type comment's. Very inappropriate and instantly a turn off. I was respectful and flat/none receptive to him. He then tried to friend request me on Facebook, which I ignored. I don't know why its so hard for a man to be respectful, and sweet. It's very simple.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I’m sorry you had those experiences. But making sweeping generalizations because of a few fellas that were childish or weird, while certainly your prerogative, might be over reacting to many of us. I mean 25% of the people that got married in the last decade met their partner online. And I have many happily married clients I’ve worked with for over a decade who are over 50. My personal opinion is choosing a positive attitude rather than a negative one is in one’s own best interest. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@alexanderlapp5048]

This episode was more relatable and relevant than most advice I can find online, so great job on this one. I just have no interest in the women who will be 25-44 in 2030 LoL I will be 58 by then. I actually do most of these things, but very rarely date. In my limited experience it was the women who were pushing for sex. I don't want to be one of those men who has a history of so many sexual partners. I also don't really want to date someone who is a complete stranger or barely know. I don't know who those women are who can't find good men. They are probably either turned off by my beard or I haven't met them. Have a wonderful day.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thank you for letting me know you found the episode of value. And thank you for sharing that you’re not demanding to date women in their 20s or 30s. Women in their 40s are not outside your age appropriate range, but i’m guessing you are not hoping to find a woman with whom to procreate anyway.

[@marigoldcarter5995]

Very good advice here ~ i tried the apps. Quickly met a scammer who I worry is still trying to hack my identity🤔. Still in the middle of another cold lonely night, I wonder if I'll ever meet HIM lol. thanks for the encouragement to keep an open mind.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thank you Marigold, for leaving a comment to let me know that you could relate to the episode. It’s not difficult to find a scammer. It’s just being on high alert to identify them immediately. Don’t forget my rule! Also, make sure you’re subscribed because I’m working on something that may encourage you to put yourself back out there safely in 2024!

[@hump1953]

Hi Carey ! I really enjoyed this video… Greetings from Thailand 🇹🇭…

[@CoffeewithCarey]

greetings back atcha. and i am so pleased!

[@palomahealing5073]

You know what I've gotten? What is my Bra size? Really non-shalantly too!🤔

[@alexanderlapp5048]

Honestly I don't care what size bra you wear. I wouldn't need to know unless we were close enough that I might think of buying you a bra for a gift. To be honest, I might be curious but it is really none of my business so I won't ask. I would feel strange if someone asked what kind of underwear I was wearing or some weird question like that. I wouldn't want to make someone feel uncomfortable.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

rude.

[@robertvarner9519]

I haven't a clue where the "good guys" are. I'll let you know if I find out. 👍👍☕☕

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I have a feeling you’re not looking hard enough. lol

[@daxjacob]

Absolutely inspiring video as always👍

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Glad you think so, Dax!

[@markb4595]

I believe and I'm told I am a good guy, in a good place in life, active, successful business, athletic, just turned 60....and having trouble finding a similar kindred spirit for a meaningful long term relationship. Perhaps there is more meaning outside of relationships?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

That’s a question that can’t be answered by another person. Plenty of people have no interest in a relationship and for others that’s the main goal in their life. You have to figure out what’s important to you.

[@TanyaRoberts-kp9pe]

Love your lipstick! Can you share brand and shade?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

thank you so much. Unfortunately, my lipsticks are typically a mishmash of numerous layers that I keep applying over one another. i’ll start with a lipstick while I’m putting my make up on, by the time I am ready to film I put some thing on while in my powder room, and then there are lipsticks in a cup in the studio as well that i apply before hitting record. Lol I would venture to guess that the topcoat here is a Maybelline super stay ink Crayon in the shade 140, work for it. Or NYX powder puff lippie in the shade puppy love. I love those little lippies!!

[@robertantonides]

The good guys are out there , everywhere , but you women put us in the friend zone

[@CoffeewithCarey]

“You women”. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Robert, you need to learn how to communicate when leaving a (very welcome) message or comment here on my videos. Learning this will also help you in communicating with real life women in the wild. You cannot make sweeping generalizations about an entire gender. Not everyone’s situation is like yours! In fact, every single person is having a very different experience dating and in relationships… because each person and each relationship is unique. You are free to share your opinions and your experiences, but you cannot state them as if they are universal truths. Make sense? Capiche?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Ps. I agree good guys are out there everywhere.

[@robertantonides]

“ whatever they are looking for “ is that not a sweeping statement . I’ve heard you say that several times .

[@robertantonides]

Your whole premise is that men are promiscuous and your totally wrong Women are the promiscuous ones

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@robertantonides I don’t know what you’re saying. Context might be helpful.

[@Reindeer911]

Unfortunately when it comes to people who have given up on finding a partner, that's a sword that cuts both ways. A lot of men, quite possibly the majority have likewise given up on dating for various reasons. It's the men at the very top of the pyramid that are getting all the action (hypergamy), and because they have all the options they are in a position to use and manipulate women like you describe. Men who would be average get rejected A LOT especially when they are young, ad by the time they build enough status to fall on a woman's radar, they are so disgusted with dating that they give up and go do their own thing. In all fairness, both sides are equally guilty for the dating situation we currently have. Both sides of the gender divide have unrealistic expectations, both sides don't understand what commitment means, both sides throw out the word love without any regard to what it actually means, both sides are shallow and selfish as hell and are hung up on looks or material goods, not looking at what the person is inside. Both sides all too often have bad attitudes, and that really is what it comes down to... ATTITUDE!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I love how many qualifiers you included in your comment. because in all honesty the situations you describe are not a part of my personal(professional!) experience. I hear what you described quite often. but only here on the Internet. Therefore, I believe you can, to some extent, choose your reality with your ATTITUDE! ;)

[@DavidStrickland-np1gm]

Bravo. You are exactly right. I couldn't have put it better myself. that sums up my and all my friends experiences to a T.

[@kristenmoonrise]

I'm in my mid 30s and my experience on the apps are that men will absolutely let you know they love the gym but barely says anything about what they're looking for or are willing to open up about their lifestyle at all. It's empty conversations. Also, there are a lot of men in their 40s+ who still haven't healed from their divorces from years ago. I feel I'm also dating their ex wives, even if they're aren't any children.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Interesting, Kristen. That’s why I always ask if they have done the work to figure out the role they played in the demise of their marriage.

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@CoffeewithCarey Yes that's a great question. The last guy I asked that of couldn't answer. That let me know everything!

[@ivanvarykino8202]

OMG, I can't fathom taking a selfie of anything other than my face! Although that may also cause a woman to bail out on Apps 😂 Who are these neandrathal guys?! Do they really think this is a good strategy🤔

[@CoffeewithCarey]

that’s a good thing. Yes it is a turn off meeting people on the Internet when they do things like this. And three, just guys who probably aren’t thinking about it too deeply.

[@Wookinpanub235]

The jerks ruined it for good guys and the girls that just want the bad guys make good guys obsolete. I can see how guys are just tired of trying to impress shallow women and jaded women are even harder to try to impress. Dating is just freaking ridiculous and Im not going to even try. Im going to go about life and if a great woman is meant for me then Im sure it will happen when Im not trying. I think people try too hard and I’ve noticed just by not trying is when I have cool interactions with females just going about my day.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I’m sorry, but respectfully I don’t agree with most of what you’ve shared here. I do appreciate that you don’t sound angry -for your own future happiness, I appreciate that. ☺️ I don’t know how old you are, but if at sometime in the future, you decide you want to have a partner, and you have some money to afford a dating coach, I would really recommend it for you. Honestly, it sounds to me like you’ve read some really negative things that have you looking at things askew. How you look at things impacts how you experience things, and I can assure you that what you describe is not what my own clients are experiencing. 🤎 Or just don’t try at all, maintain a negative attitude, expect the worst and assume that love will find you. Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? 🤎

[@Wookinpanub235]

@@CoffeewithCarey Just being a little facetious is all. I have a few buddies that are bachelors and they’ve shared some stories about their own personal dating experiences. Me, Im recently widowed and Im 53. I seriously haven’t even began dating although Ive already had several opportunities with much younger women presenting themselves in which I easily brushed off as Im not looking for females half my age, although flattering. I really don’t need help dating as Im confident in my travels and women gravitate towards me pretty easily. Always have….i just never had a reason to respond as Ive been happily married to a stunning natural beauty for 33 years and had more opportunities than I can count from single women that I never acted on due to being married, mostly customers of mine as Im self employed and did house calls. Im sure some of my buddies could use some dating coaching though, especially my buddy that got suckered into the whole women overseas thing. Im really not emotionally ready to date as Im still too raw from my wifes passing. Its just a bit fun realizing I have alot of options with women should I start engaging like a single guy where as before I just brushed women off only to be told “If you ever find yourself single you make sure you call me.” I’ve actually had a few of them texting me condolences and dropping hints as they found out about my situation either from me or referrals that I had already told. Alot of my customers refer all their friends to me so they all talk. So yes Ma’am I have plenty of opportunities available and Im sure many more will arise as I go about my travels and as far as a dating coach goes ya never know , maybe I will have trouble finding that extremely gorgeous, highly intelligent, loving and loyal woman that could really stop me dead in my tracks.

[@bobmoore6248]

Wow taking a pic of body parts is over the top poor judgement to say the least. I have been going to the same gym for years. Lately I have made it a point to engage in conversation some of the women I see most every day. It is fun. I have found out most of them know more about me than I thought possible. They are observing people there as well. I am just to lazy to ask any of them to meet for coffee.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

too lazy? 😳

[@philiusify]

Where are the good women?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

easier to find them if you start out by being a good guy.

[@philiusify]

Agreed, and vice versa

[@suzayer]

Ive met a guy on an app. Weve been texting for at least four weeks. We were going to meet two weeks ago, but he got called out of town for work. He's due back this next week. But, there are several red flags. Ive suggested that I worry that he's not real. IF he is and IF we actually meet, other than personal safety, what questions should I ask to validate things he has said?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

if you were my client, I would tell you to stop texting and communicating with him until you meet him. Texting is to make plans with somebody not to have a relationship and get to know them. If you feel the need to validate things, he has said you are off to a very shaky start. The first date is not meant to validate it is to get to know somebody better who already gives you good vibes. You agree?

[@suzayer]

@CoffeewithCarey yes. I guess I've gotten to this point because the original plan to meet half way for lunch couldn't work because he was called out of town for two weeks. He then suggested that I meet him at the airport when he got back. That sounded fine with me. Part of the problem is me. I'm rarely afraid of anyone and have a gut feeling that it is ok. I'll need to think more

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@suzayer trust your gut!

[@ag-om6nr]

Yes ! Always trust your gut !

[@catmanx]

Our damage is our own to cope with. You are right that men should always be sensitive to women and their feelings of safety etc. But all men are not to blame for women's bad choices. And NO being a good guy is not appreciated by women. Maybe a few rare ones. Unfortunately, as I get back into dating after 24 years? I realize that I AM a good man and can't be different. That means i am screwed. I already lose in this modern dating world. I disagree with you so much here. and those women who are 'over it'? That is still their problem. That good men have to PAY For. I wish you had talked to women more here.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

You wish I had talked to more women here? You’re funny! Based on over a dozen years of experience and daily screenings of both men and women I will agree to disagree with you. 🤦🏻‍♀️