Comedian Neal Brennan shares how to quiet your inner critic

He co-created one of TV’s funniest shows. He still felt like a failure in his 30s. This is comedian Neal Brennan’s story about conquering toxic self-talk.
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We all tell lies to ourselves about ourselves, usually in the form of vicious inner criticism. Neal Brennan, seasoned comedian and one of the brilliant minds behind “Chapelle’s Show,” confronted his inner critic on video for our entertainment.
Despite being instrumental in one of the most successful comedy shows of all time, there was a time when Brennan didn’t think he had much to show for himself, especially not as a solo entertainer. The eventual demise of “Chappelle’s Show” led him down a dark path of self-doubt and, then, rediscovery.
Brennan worked 12-step programs, ventured into the world of psychedelics, and even tried magnetic brain manipulation to break out of his despair. Now, he has a new perspective on the value of going it alone. Turns out, it isn’t quite so bad.
Read more from this interview ► bigthink.com/perception-box/c...
We created this video in partnership with Unlikely Collaborators.
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About Neal Brennan:
Three-time Emmy nominated writer, director, producer, and standup comedian Neal Brennan has become a force in the comedy world. An across-the-board talent, Neal has found success in almost every creative vein in the comedy landscape. Hailed by The Hollywood Reporter as “Hollywood’s Comic Whisperer” and lauded by The New York Times as having a “hip-hop and Frontline aesthetic,” he has collaborated with top talent both in front of and behind the camera for three decades.
Neal’s most recent one-man show Neal Brennan: Unacceptable enjoyed a sold-out run in NYC in 2021 with The New York Times offering “Brennan starts off with a regular joke format before turning toward introspection as he exposes his doubts, neuroses and vulnerabilities. And he remains very funny as he does so.” Neal’s critically acclaimed first off-Broadway one-man show 3 Mics also enjoyed a sold-out NYC run in 2016 with musician John Legend serving as Executive Producer with Paste Magazine gushing “It will floor you in the best way possible.” In a break from traditional standup comedy, 3 Mics saw Brennan alternating between three separate microphones; one for traditional stand-up, one for one-liners, and one for short confessional monologues covering everything from managing his depression to his difficult relationship with his father. Both one-man shows were taped as stand-up specials and premiered on Netflix to much fanfare and critical acclaim.
Neal co-created Comedy Central’s legendary Chappelle’s Show, for which he received three Emmy nominations. Together, Brennan and Dave Chappelle wrote and produced virtually every sketch on the show themselves. A longtime writing partner of Chappelle, Neal was a standout speaker in his televised Mark Twain Prize ceremony, wrote on his Emmy-winning 2016 Saturday Night Live hosting turn, and co-wrote the cult hit feature Half Baked. Neal also served as a Creative Consultant and on-air correspondent on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, for which he was personally picked by Noah to be his final guest. He was Executive Producer on Chris Rock’s special Chris Rock: Tamborine, Consulting Producer on Ellen Degeneres’ special Relatable, and collaborator with Seth Meyers on his White House Correspondents Dinner speech. In addition to standup, writing, directing, and producing, Brennan has also directed popular commercials for Sprite, Netflix, Best Buy and Nike.
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[@Baldinosalvador]

“How much is healthy to invest in people?” I felt that

[@kah3773]

Yea that hit me too

[@AgendaInMind]

People don’t get sick from magical flying Boogey germs. They DEVELOP the “illness” following the resolution of the upsetting event that caused it. Just like they DEVELOP cancer. If you can’t “catch” cancer, you can’t “catch” anything else. The Germ Theory has been fraud for 110 years. Repeating it over and over does not make it true.

[@Haidar-Philosophy]

Damn that got me. How much should you invest in people? That’s such a deep question. This was such a relateable interview and it’s one of my highlights of Big Think.

[@SolaceEasy]

This should be resonating more with people who have over invested energy into others than those who have under invested in others throughout their lives. Don't be using this maxim as a reason to self-isolate.

[@skippy6086]

I think I'm under-invested in people. I don't communicate well. I always feel self conscious and phony around people. I kinda steer clear of human interaction. But I guess I have need to communicate or else why would I write all this? Lol It's very strange being me. How a brain can do this just by how much each neuron influences other neurons in whether to fire a signal or not. And out spits me and my experience. Wacky!

[@3ormore887]

Love how open Neal is. It's a nice change of pace to see someone being completely authentic.

[@DouglasBalmain]

"My problem was I believed my own thoughts."

[@DJ_ames]

"Call off the dogs in my mind." I totally feel that. Thank you, Neal.

[@BadBoyAnzer]

I got to open up Neal Brennan's show when he came to town, and in the green room, he was just as thoughtful, attentive, honest, and engaging as he is on stage and in this video.

[@monicapowers3208]

All these things make him so sexy.

[@Bjorn_R]

Man when he talked about people not reciprotaking...I heard the quote "Invest in people who invest in you". For several years I have been fighting to keep a connection with friends from different time periods in my life. Its not like the dont like me anymore, they are just not willing to find the time to keep the relation alive. It hurt me and I felt alone with this. Now im trying to be more cautious with who I give my time and not being resentful of the ones who dont.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

"Time is the only resource for which no creature may bargain..." --DD1 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

[@PrettyWhiteLady]

Hey, consider that there are six billion people on this planet, let them go, and go spend some time with some people who are very much in need of your company and who would also appreciate it 💓

[@thehobbyisthub8180]

I personally feel that this is the way. Because resenting them will lead to an internal conflict with the memories you have with this person. Which is uneeded since at the time those memories gave some sort of happiness. But best not hang with these people, because life is telling us that the relation is dead. Time to move on to others. Everything has a time and place, and i've learned the same thing you have. Also a good thing to do is not to cut them out entirely, but just say hey every now and then see what they're into. Because you'll wonder in the long run anyways. And just like you said, the only way to have that hope at the end where everybody is there (that is alive) is to not burn bridges. Very important not to burn bridges, otherwise you will not see the treasures of your life, at the end of your life.

[@ScottThePisces]

This was a surprising collab! Love Neal, and everything in comedy he's spent his life in service of! Him & Dave as a comedic duo are pure brilliance.

[@folie-a-deux]

What is the meaning of questioning the perception box? Is perception box is a thing a noun an adjective. So can we say perception vortex, perception matrix. What is the deal with modern languages.

[@PaigeSquared]

"I want all of humanity experiencing effortless kindness, righteousness, love, beauty, joy." Same! There have been signs that this sentiment is starting to gain more traction, recently. That gives me hope. 😊🌐🕊️

[@lautix951]

Same here. This was a notion I've had for some time, but I had never put it into words like Neal did. Really inspirational, this is now too my biggest hope. Hope we get there someday

[@PaigeSquared]

@@lautix951 we start with ourselves first 😊💓

[@derrick_martin_g.]

Things you need to hear always manage to find a way to you. This is something I needed to hear right now. Thanks Neil.

[@tanmayvikram7405]

The algorithm is becoming self aware😳

[@davetherave5]

I feel the same Derrick! This went way deeper than I expected & I'm appreciative of that.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

Perfect timing for me as well! 💯👌🫡

[@hokutonoket]

In "Three Mics" Neal tells a lot of himself and clarify how difficult it was for him to find balance, since, like many artists, he had to struggle within a traumatic past experience. Things like that push you towards an edge, and you have to stare at the abyss. His contribute here reminds me that there is light a t the end. He still wants the Coca Cola commercial. We all do. Thanks Neal.

[@dandilollo]

I think he was referring to where (in his “Three Mics” special) he is outing himself as a “star fucker.” - After the bleep, he goes on to explain what it sorta is and why he did it… and wanted to stop.

[@hsheean]

I love this man. He's a fantastic comic and super insightful when it comes to understanding the human condition. His vulnerability is is superpower.

[@rdapigleo]

Thank you for sharing this Man. Sounds like you dry cleaned your ego with psychedelics. Way to go! I wish everyone could have a powerful trip, and shed their flawed baggage.

[@q8386]

Burgess Meredith also played The Penguin in the Batman series with Adam West. Great to see him in action in the Rocky film too.

[@sinfulhappiness]

Neal is a fuckin' legend. His Blocks podcast is phenomenally raw and humanizing.

[@ericthorpe5670]

I can relate to so much of this video. I have that inner voice (which is just myself² or ³ or whatever) and I can't shut it off. It becomes paralyzing, and i freeze in my own body. I think this is an important series. I also think pyschadelics are a really important tool. I haven't done dmt yet, but I feel like it could be super beneficial. Thank you for opening up Neal. I legitimately have butterflies in my stomach watching this. I feel like Neal reached into brain and heart and pulled out my thoughts and feelings. Say what you will, but I felt this very deeply.

[@thatswhatnicksaid]

It's possible to change the inner dialogue of that inner voice when you genuinely believe that you deserve to be treated lovingly

[@matsalvatore9074]

Sometimes i noticed when I'm not trying I can destract myself with something in the moment n it's almost like I zone out n then I snap back in cus I hear myself talking in my head n I'm like wtf r u saying wtf did u just say boat etc lol but yeah I think u just need to hyper focus on things n tune it out it won't stop but u can ignore it

[@JoyoSnooze]

He spoke so much relatability but the one problem that really struck home for me was, not believing that you have the right to a healthy consciousness. That's the gravity well that getting away from leads to the blossoming of everything else, in whatever way it needs to be. For sure.

[@Marsi-811]

Neal is easily one of my favorite people to watch. His honesty and sincerity shine through plus he’s hilarious! Better than going to a shrink!

[@Ventoa71]

His podcast, Blocks, has helped me exponentially! He would hate the fact that I said that I'm a big fan of his.

[@visualthinking]

I had to scroll far too long for a shout out to Neal's Blocks podcast. It is fantastic.

[@jbaltaji5723]

"Too far out". I laughed for 2 straight minutes 🤣 😂

[@retsub3]

Figured I would skip through this quickly, expecting the usual shopworn self-help homilies. Surprised and pleased I was so wrong. Guess I should've known better since it's from Big Think 🏆 Neal holds your attention by speaking from the heart, from direct experience, and very carefully avoiding lazy cliches - even when expressing conventional wisdom. Choice cussing (which was a mistake to bleep) lends authenticity too, in my correct opinion ☺ Bravo, homie.

[@not2bfound586]

Thank you to all involved. This was inspiring, motivating, and healing. Cheers 🥂

[@star_stuff]

Neal is so relatable and likable

[@claybarrel]

You ever hear someone talk about these "transcendent" thoughts or experiences, and they repeat almost verbatim how you think, or thoughts you've had-whether they good or bad, amazing or terrifying. It honestly, makes me want to compare notes, and chat until 4 in the morning, dig even deeper. Most people in my life avoid these things, and I am labeled the weird one-it's good to not be alone.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

Reflection is key. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

[@murkyPurple123]

This was amazing! It felt so real and relatable! As a side note, I can imagine how great of a comedian he is or can be!

[@pest174]

This was phenomenal. Is there a longer version?

[@TabethaAurochs]

Yes. A year ago, Neal Brennan put out a Netflix special called "BLOCKS," he lays out most, if not all, of his mental health journey. It's brilliant, very funny, and unlike anything I've seen before. Even better, Neal has a weekly "Blocks Podcast" during which Neal and a guest talk about their problematic mental, emotional, behavioral issues, hangups, problems, etc. and discuss how they've dealt with them, how the continue to deal with them, what's helped them the most, what hasn't helped, all of it. Neal is a spectacular interviewer, his guests send him their personal "blocks" beforehand. The podcast videos are on KZbin under his name. It's the only podcast I've ever followed for more than a month or two; there's 50 episodes and every one of them has been a winner. He jokes about how all the comments on his podcast make it sound like he's "healing the world," but he's not wrong... It's just a microcosm of the world. I've recommended it to everyone who will listen now for a year straight and will continue to do so. It definitely has restored some of my faith in humanity. 🤩

[@pest174]

@@TabethaAurochs thank you, Tabetha! I'll check out the special and podcast.

[@batshapedheart]

Neal may feel broken, but I'm willing to bet he actually is one of the few working correctly

[@OrigEntertainmentOfficial]

This man's work and life journey are brilliant. Excited to see what the future holds. No pressure, Neal. Just do you.

[@vickihines-martin6058]

Your humor is exceptional. Your willingness to share here is even better. I hope you encounter people who make you feel comforted and safe. Your wish for others is so admirable. Thanks!

[@vincentcaudo-engelmann9057]

Omg. I cried. That was so beautiful. And funny. My DMT experience isn’t from DMT. It’s from 11 years of complicated grief and reading and watching about too many NDEs. I’m now walking around with the non-astronaut equivalent of the overview effect. Whatever. Wow.

[@furyus01]

I've been shedding "friends" for 20 years now and am a better/happier version of myself for it! Ever forward, never back...

[@DanitheWitch]

I relate so much to all of this - as a child of an alcoholic and not feeling worthy of goodness. It’s a bit unsettling how similar our shared stories are. I appreciate you, Neal.

[@Bobbysf92]

This is one of the warmest, most human interviews on this channel. Hats off, sir!

[@lalas1132]

I want all of humanity experiencing effortless kindness, righteousness, love, beauty, joy. - Neil Brennan, thank you!!

[@thechrislewisssss]

I’m happy he’s alive! Life changing video to see! Go Neal Go 🎉

[@josephjinx]

I didn't expect to end this in tears. I haven't had the hope described at the end in a very long time even though I share many of those feelings. Thank you, Neal.

[@voodooladyink6869]

I love Neal. He's a consistent bastard, ya gotta give him that. Fantastic.

[@hotturkin]

I love Neal, he's one of my favorite comics. I've liked following him through the years and seeing him grow in real time. I have a lot of different viewpoints than him, but I have a lot of respect for his tireless self reflection & openness

[@unmike19]

Love this collab and his comedy! Both 3 Mics and Blocks were so unique. Blocks made me feel like someone else thought exactly like me. It was nuts how many times myself or my wife went...holy, same!

[@geraldbrown7775]

The way he rattles off everything he’s tried to quiet his mind with mixed results is honestly inspiring.

[@arlenehutchinson9259]

I absolutely LOVE YOU fellow human ❤❤❤ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING 🙌🏾 Neeeeeeeddddded this TODAY

[@bboyeducator]

Really appreciate this. Share the hope and the hardship. Lovely

[@stephanieaya3992]

I connected with what Neal said on many levels. Thank you so much for sharing, and for being so open and honest. It helps more than you know. 💗

[@blahblahraymond]

So grateful for this vulnerability. Thank you!

[@joecritch]

Most people I meet need a louder inner critic.

[@Starpawzz]

Have always loved Neal. What a talent! His specials are the best, he's so intelligent and relatable.

[@skippybe]

This was beautiful. Love the stories and always appreciate radical honesty. We need so much more of that and from experience, I can also say that therapy has helped me be more honest with myself and those that I love in a massive way. We have to be honest with ourselves and those around us if we want true freedom, as that lies within.

[@mikefelber5129]

Do I deserve a decent inner monologue… That hits hard (and yes I do)

[@courtneyg678]

that was incredible. thanks, neal brennan 💚

[@calmerselfambientmusic]

This was great! Neal is awesome. Always love hearing his thoughts .😊💙

[@adamlake9507]

Neil is incredible. His Netflix specials are some of the best ever

[@gmg92gmg]

It is remarkable how deep he went with his words.

[@HaphazardJoy]

Nice! Love your content and love Neal's work.

[@SuperCMusic]

Thank you Neal!!! I needed to hear this. I really needed to hear this.

[@jaypeterson1324]

Man, Neal really became Nega-Chappelle with the genuine positivity and love 🤣

[@Olivia-sings-here]

Woah ❤ Seemed I was looking into the mirror ❤ I haven't done stuff ❤ I believe if I get a chance, I'll do it for the experience & not to "fix" myself ❤ I've seen things, been through stuff, and I want this world to be the best place humanity can live ❤ We are all her to evolve, still deluded & off track ❤ I want this world to be the place of liberation, in straight line, such is the pace of life I want everyone's ought to be ❤ Very well said, Neal ❤ Much love and wishes ❤

[@IAmJustR]

Thank you for having him discuss this❤

[@YoOoQ]

😭 Thanks Neal for sharing this.. I wish you to be better too! Just as I wish me and everyone else gets better too! I wish you the best ~

[@Relic5150]

This made me hit subscribe. Neal is a special person.

[@Cuban_Mala]

absolutely. all of this. thank you.

[@brianhageland9951]

My voice of self doubt isn’t echoes of people in my past that said I couldn’t do something (luckily I always had encouragement) (I think), but I think any self doubt comes from the reality of seeing so many people I know give up on dreams or never take the first step or took a swing and missed. Watching the failures around me creates self doubt but overtime I’ve felt like I’m the one who is unscathed and still on my path (that I chose)

[@SuperYogagirl]

This is wonderful and appreciated

[@weston.weston]

This is so good, thank you, Neal.

[@Paj1v]

This hits me, you know? Thank you.

[@juliet-m31]

Loved hearing some of his life experiences! ❤️

[@invox9490]

The end message was heavy beautiful.

[@steveg9863]

Thank you for your sharing and explanations. The comedic frame is truth

[@lsh3rd]

“So long Steve, don't let self-doubt interfere with plans to improve your life.”

[@jordanroberts2029]

I see you man, life's tough and the few things that make us happy really make us happy

[@edwardpereira8430]

This was enlightening and useful - thank you!

[@user-ck2gj1oy8q]

I want to hug you Neal. You're a great person.

[@kazemfazeli6614]

His dad was alcoholic-violent but still Neal hopes he be there for him

[@GhostHead]

This man gets it.

[@dusty4047]

Thank you Neal!

[@rawkinrobot]

Thank you, Neal.

[@weekeat3726]

I want everyone to be better, including me. Same.

[@rtd1791]

I would like Big Think to make a video where whoever writes Big Think video titles answers viewers questions.

[@fabulous235]

This was beautiful.

[@JamesBrown-wy7xs]

AMEN on that ending statement. A-frickin-men!!!

[@mauriceortiz8817]

Don't waste your time on self doubt. Be certain that you'll never amount to anything

[@pablodmdp]

Almost made me cry

[@AutoDisheep]

omg i need this so bad. inner critics are the worst

[@travis8106]

Another reason to love Neal

[@totinicomedez]

Thanks, Neil

[@jimpanse1638]

2:48 💯💯💯

[@EricGranata]

Love Neil. True bro.

[@ohmai3706]

I love Neal!

[@gsilcoful]

Thank you.

[@ingenueee]

I totally feel him about spending time on people who aren't reciprocating.

[@honeychilerider]

Or who reciprocate but in a negative way. Sometimes there are people, family, friends, whoever, that you feel you are too close to to cut loose even though they bring significant net negative into your life. I think you can be patient with people like that for a time and it is very important to do an honest self-examination to be certain it isn't you, but eventually you have to let go or you are just carrying anchors around in your backpack. (I am having to let go of someone right now who I was extremely close to but became toxic. I hung in with her as long as I could but she's not getting much better, interactions with her are always either very negative or awkward, and she passive-aggressively attacks and blames me frequently. I hung on and then I stopped and my life has been much better since I let go.)

[@juanmarin9365]

Right on!!

[@nl7247]

Thanks for the frank sharing ❤

[@Kinuhbud]

fucking love Neal Brennan I will watch whatever this man puts out. I wish he would collaborate with more people at some point.

[@MattBraun]

Anyone know where was this fillmed?? Looks like a great collection in a really incredible space.

[@meenakshirai]

loved it!

[@wuziq]

the index card is too real

[@Capnmax]

I only heard half of what Neal said because I was too distracted by that beautiful wall of vinyl.

[@Theimperfecton]

thank u mr. neal brennan

[@EllaSqueaks]

Beautiful ❤

[@Rybot9000]

I want, I want, I, Me, Mine. People won't realize this but some will, all that narcissistic inner dialogue, whether good or bad, is distracting you from the things that are really important. Having a positive bias on yourself and life is only more tenable because you feel like you are better able to cope. But it does nothing to improve your external circumstances and is very often a detriment. When someone reaches a pathological degree of narcissism we recognize the consequences; they ignore criticism, they alienate themselves from feeling judged, deny failure, etc.. they carry themselves to hell in a handbasket. This is hardly ideal even if it seems better than having a negative inner monologue. But negativity and criticism has a purpose as well. Nor is it a 'balance' that we ought to strive for. Rather, we should transcend the whole nexus of ownership that surrounds such dialogue and regulate ourselves in a 'hypo-egoic' way, absent any second-order considerations of what praise and blame mean for the self. "Beyond pride and shame, everything becomes clear and undisguised." Just a thought, to me oscillating between positive and negative self-views is just circling the drain of egoism.

[@noi000]

There is no self. That is a mind creation which does not exist in reality.

[@DrJimmyBob]

Ah! This is so cool!

[@susanhendricks3964]

Phenomenal q&a