Coming Out To My Traditional Asian Parents & Their Reaction

Hey everyone, I just want to share my experience coming out to my parents last year in November 2013, accomplishing another big milestone in my life. It wasn't easy especially because they're traditional Asian parents (I'm not saying that every asian parent is like this). But yeah, leave a comment if you guys need any advice from someone who has experienced it all, and if you have any questions :)
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INSTAGRAM : @calvinnwoohoo
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[@brandonwoohoo]

I'm not gay myself, but as you can probably tell from my picture, I'm Asian, and I also have really traditional parents. I remember one time, the topic of homosexuality came up in the dinner table and I casually commented that it was natural. My mother was a bright person, so I had expected her to feel the same way and basically just carry on with the conversation with a "yeah" or something. But oh damn, she started getting really pissed and even tried to "correct" me on how it's immoral and sick. And sadly my father agreed with her, perhaps even more strongly. But as the only child I was raised to always have my way in the house xD. So I spent the next hour and a half arguing and giving them a reverse lecture. Not sure if at the end of the day all that information sank into their heads, but I think they will be smart not to talk smack about gay people when I'm around from now on. You're really brave by the way, bravo!

[@loveprimetimepokemon]

LMAO I HAVE THE SAME NAME AS YOU BRANDON WU LOL

[@monica8833]

You're awesome dude ,I wish we were friends ☺

[@jadewang7287]

Exactly the same thing happened to the dinning table at my household. Not sure if they really comprehended

[@redhood8141]

Brandon Wu I wish I had a friend like you lol I'm 25 and all my friends moved on with their lives

[@codyb9205]

Glad that the younger generations of straight males is finally willing to stand up for basic human rights. Even to the point of arguing about it... for all the guys who are disowned, closeted, harassed, feel less than human. And worse yet.. who are no longer here due to suicide or homicide It warms my heart knowing that you would care for all sexes and orientations as equals. In all seriousness.... thank you :)

[@MsWildromeo]

even though there was no video of you telling your mum and her reaction, this is the best story ive heard, i cried all through the video because not only do i also have a very traditional african parents, my mum is very spiritual and im sorrounded by friends and people who are anti-gay, i see my brother's reaction whenever gay issue comes up whether in a movie or wherever and its totally discouraging cos i really wanna tell him, i dunno what to do, its completely depressing for me not being able to be myself, im scared because i dont know what to do and its killing me inside, i dont wanna be rejected

[@ChauNguyen-nb5so]

Just wondering if things turn out well for you 8 years later…

[@chanchochacncho5800]

I'm a gay woman and I tried to come out to my parents about a year ago, and literally your story is VERY similar to mine. Listening to your story made memories flood back...however, my parents still deny it and act as if I'm straight...it is like it never happened... :[...I am glad that you are free to be who you want to be though

[@GermonoToussaint]

It angers me that anyone has to "come out". It should never be an issue.

[@TravisBickle0312]

+Germono Toussaint If I have kids I'd do my best to ensure them from a young that it would be no issue if they came out and that homosexuality is perfectly fine.

[@yyxykive]

i didn’t bother to come out to my parents i just went up to them one day and told them that my girlfriend was coming over and they didn’t care lmao

[@redhood8141]

I agree but something tells me it will always have to be a thing unfortunately

[@RFDeStefano]

Yes but it is important to this day and helped get us our rights by coming out!

[@JimmieJamOfTheDay]

If people don't come out, then it's assumed that they like the opposite sex. They'll have conversations of general discussions and somewhere in that discussion somebody's going to say something that implies that a guy in the conversation likes a girl when in fact, he doesn't like girls. So coming out is kind of needed, unfortunately. Otherwise, assumptions are made.

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Really appreciate all the comments, love and support from you guys, it makes me continue to believe that telling my story to the world was worth it to share my experience, and try to help someone else out. xx

[@romancatullo7496]

Health and fitness....education.....of course happiness are the most important things. If U have all 3, U are More-than OK. Just be safe and make good decisions. I think U will do great for yourself.

[@99superjason]

i don't act in any way gay, i dont say gay-ish things, i'm chinese, like you, my parents are similar, my mother is becoming more christian (jehovah's witness). inside, i'm gay i've known for a little while, i will probably come across the same set of problems, but i don't care =D. time will pass, everything will be fine.

[@maxtrinity6374]

My mom is a Jehovah's whiteness too and I'm lesbian I haven't come out yet but the more I watch these videos the more courage I get to finally come out they really help thnx!

[@devaughntrejones9322]

He

[@devaughntrejones9322]

Hey can u kik me I need to talk to you kik name is hiimcooltre

[@levidunn3305]

I am an asian mother of 2 teenager boys and I wish that my sons will be as brave and happy and true to himself as you are. You go and march you own beat with your head held high. Good job!

[@unoki99]

I came out today! :D And my mom got so proude!^^ Thanks for insperating me to be brave enough to come out!

[@calvinnwoohoo]

***** that's good! Very happy for you! Hope all is well. xx

[@redhood8141]

I'm so proud of you! 😎

[@TakoyakiAdventures]

Four years late but congrats!!!

[@chetanvinayak6799]

@@calvinnwoohoo hi my name is chetan from England what a beautiful coming out story that’s great 😃 it takes guts to come out to your family and partens and freinds I am gay myself I came out two years ago it was horrible and very nasty so happy for you ℹ support you all the way through there is a saying never be afraid no matter what I am looking 👀 for a cute gorgeous boy 👦 if I ever find anybody nice to meet you

[@Pookie1-q2w]

I also have traditional chinese parents, they are really homo-phobic. I want to tell you that you are very brave! ❤️

[@calvinnwoohoo]

I feel ya, thanks a lot ! Good luck to you :)

[@redhood8141]

@@calvinnwoohoo You are one of the most brave and amazing people. Much love to you 😊

[@EricRisk]

Can I just say....You're very cute c:

[@unoki99]

Wiremu is kinda awesome I know right!?! :D

[@EricRisk]

hahaha :D

[@imelyestrada5175]

Lol he looks like an adorable kpop idol! XD Anyone else?

[@imelyestrada5175]

Lol he looks like an adorable kpop idol! XD Anyone else?

[@Klinikuull]

Steven Whetung No you’re probably just a ignorant ass o wait you are take a seat.

[@Wasabi35209]

I think coming out to Asian parents are much more difficult. I'm glad my parents are very supportive. I remembered the moment when I called my dad and told him that I am gay, he literally said that he knew for very long time and waited until I was ready to tell him. I am surprised that he accept without any question :)

[@arbz_4225]

lucky you..

[@SeanShimamoto]

Oyinkan Otubanjo Asian parents often do the same. It can be so bad that my friend Mikey killed himself when his parents found out he was gay...I found out the after after he did it and it crushed my heart...it still bothers me and he committed suicide almost 25 years ago.

[@AmeliaPond1994]

@@SeanShimamoto I'm sorry you lost a friend 😳 may he rest in peace

[@SeanShimamoto]

Aisha Abdella Thanks Aisha. For me, personally, I have the most amazing parents...I mean as supportive and open-minded as any gay boy could ask for...and they reacted that amazingly when I came out to them. But even with that said, it took me 11 years between telling my mom and my dad ‘cause Asian dads are particularly patriarchal. But fortunately for me, when I came out to him, he asked me, “are you happy?” and after I told him “yes”...he said, “that’s all a parent wants for their kid. Okay, Big Bang Theory is starting up” Hehe. I just wish all Asian dads could be like that. PS - my friend was Catholic...so I like to believe that he’s somewhere in heaven. The Buddhist in me hopes he’s reborn as something even more amazing than he was in this lifetime. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@billytxn]

I grew up on a farm in Mississippi during a time when coming out was not an option. However, after starting a career in a distant city I finally was able to accept myself and met my first boyfriend, I was 28. My mother and I were always very close and she would come to visit about once a month. After a year of dating my boyfriend moved in with me. Time was up, I had to come out to my mother. So I went home and like you I agonized over how to even bring up the subject. My mother was cooking and I was lying on the floor in the living room, it was just the two of us. Out of no where she asked me, 'are you dating someone now?' She had not asked me about my dating in years. Silence. I now could feel every heart beat, I was getting hot as I starred at the ceiling fan going around and around. My parents were devout Baptists and I was their only son so I really was at a loss to predict how she was going to react. I then sort of went into auto pilot as I prepared for the worst but no matter what I would not forfeit my life that took me so long to find. So, without thinking I just blurted out, 'yes, I am. His name is Alan, I'm gay and Mama, if you have a problem with that then I will go pack right now and leave.' Silence again. I thought, 'did I just say that'? My mother stopped what she was doing, came out of the kitchen and sat in the rocking chair. She began to cry and said, 'what makes you think I would not love and accept you no matter who you are, even if I don't understand it'? I said, 'Mama, I just did not know, I'm sorry'. So I took decades to accept myself and I gave her all of 5 seconds to accept me. Two days later she called me and said that she and my Dad were coming to visit. Meaning she had told my Dad and he wanted to talk. That turned out fine as well even though I could tell that my church deacon father continued to struggle with the concept for some years thereafter. About a year later I brought my boyfriend home to meet the family. They welcomed him into the family just as they had accepted my sister's husband a few years before. I always appreciated the open and loving acceptance of my parents because I knew too many others who did not get the same from their family including my boyfriend. You are right it was the hardest thing I ever did but even if it had not gone well I would still have been better off coming out and being who I am, no longer trying to live two lives. Give your mother some time, she loves you and will eventually come around to accepting that which she does not understand because a mothers love is greater than all else. Best Wishes.

[@localguy7333]

+Chance Pemberton I feel bad because when I moved in with my boyfriend yrs. ago and my father came from California to visit, I didn't even invite him over to my apartment because he would see that I was living with a guy. He is long gone now and I still feel so bad about never telling him. I look back now and know he would have been fine with it, I was just so scared to come out back then. I thought it would change our relationship and that scared me. It's great that kids now come out to their families like they do.

[@tunacharm]

I have been a foreign exchange student for 6 years in Korea. When I came out to my exchange family, I was so scared. Homosexuality is not anywhere near as accepted in Korea than it is in America and I was afraid they would tell me to leave. They told me they needed some time, and that it was best if I went out for a while. That day, I left, I went to lunch with my friend and we went to a shopping centre until late that evening. When I came back, my exchange parents hugged me and told me they loved me, even though I went against so many social standards. They of course, gave me a long, long talk about how this was different and new to them, how this was considered a sin and all that. They told me they were concerned for me and my safety. I told them not to worry. Now, I have a beautiful girlfriend named Jin Sang and I am so happy to be loved my so many accepting people. :-)

[@FruityHachi]

go go shelby that’s great that your exchange parents accepted you, you were brave to came out to them. may i ask, did you also came out to your friends in korea? and have you faced any homophobia in korea? i’d love to go to korea some day, and want to know what to expect. where in korea have you stayed?

[@TheReMorseCode]

Cuute :-)

[@davecarroll8186]

I am an older male from the Midwest and I was never able to tell my Mother and Father about me being Gay. They both have passed on now. I had a BF from San Francisco that I met online and he was Chinese, we were together for 4 years and he would come to Indiana and I would take him to the Nursing home where my Mother resided,she never ask where I met him but she was always kind to him, I think my Mother knew because I believe Mothers just know and have a sense about their Children,so I believe she didn't ask questions out of respect for me, before she passed me and my Bf parted but we still remain friends to this day, she would ask me why my friend hadn't come to see her anymore and that always made me sad. I loved your story because it took a lot of courage to tell your Mom, but truly they had their lives to live and we have ours and that's just how it should be. I wish you a happy life :)

[@Shortandslicked911]

Hey dude , you handle yourself really well . Gay or straight it doesn't matter who we are , only that we do our best . Your vid will help a lot of people , stay strong !

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Shortandslicked911 Thanks a lot for this message, I genuinely appreciate it!

[@Shortandslicked911]

Your welcome dude ! we are all human beings and deserve the respect that comes with it .

[@ninaphan1809]

this video makes me cry because trust me coming out to Asian parents are the hardest . I relate to this video so much

[@fruityautism]

Hi I subscribed and I'm 13 I'm gay and I came out to my mom 3 days ago. my mom is Bangladeshi . U gave me confidence I watched this and I came out she accepted me but it was akward . Btw thank you very much.

[@umamizaddy]

I'm a gay chinese man in my 30s who have yet to come out to my super close-minded, traditional chinese parents. Just recently my younger brother came out to me and now engaged to an older caucasian man. He (my brother) plans to come out to my parents and also tell them about his engagement, which in turn, leaves me no choice but to come out myself. Lord help us!

[@adamgoodword7888]

+simple Ss Just do it. You have nothing to fear but fear itself. If they truly love you and your brother they will accept you the way they are. If they aren't loving then it's time to cut them off and move on with your lives. People (everyone) need to get over the "parents" issue. Cut them off. Your true family are the people who truly love you and accept you for who you are, and that may just be your closest friends who become your true family.

[@MRKLBS]

From all "coming out" videos I've watched, I think this one is like the closest to what I think may happen if I tell my parents. I'm actually not planing to tell them tho, cuz I know that they won't make me leave my house or anything like that, but they'll never accept it and they'll force me to try to change, because of their religion. I believe in God like them, but I don't get how come can I be punished for something that's part of my life and I didn't choose to be :/ *sorry if I made grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language.

[@MRKLBS]

Thanks :D

[@Edmundyu1995]

This is almost identical to my coming out story, but mine’s a bit worse instead

[@timkidd8491]

It's important to have these stories told. Thank you. Whilst it is difficult with your parents, it's great that you have support from your sisters. I hope that they eventually come around.

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thank you :)

[@mikeallmon1]

I'm Caucasian. By BF of 18 years is chinese/Malaysian. His mom is very traditional too. U are Awesome and have everything ahead of yourself yet! Relationships come and go. your friends will always be there!

[@MissChandraxoxo]

thank you so much for making this video. i came out to my homophobic indian parents today (both of them at the same time) as pansexual and my dad said "you're too young to know these things. just ignore these things and focus on what's important." and what really helped by watching this video is i feel less alone because my mum said the same thing. she said i should see a doctor because it's probably just some hormonal imbalance in my brain. i don't know how long it's going to take for them to accept it, or if they ever do but i just wanted to say thank you

[@Navalator]

Greetings Calvin: Your approach to informing your parents about your sexuality was very rational and mature. I am sure that you will be a very successful person and that the boy/man who becomes your partner will be fortunate indeed. Let me tell you my coming out story. I am white. My life partner is Chinese. We both have advanced universilty degrees and are quite successful in our chosen professions. We decided to inform his traditional Chinese parents about our relationship at his post-graduate graduation ceremonies. As we approached his parents (and brother and sister) at the reception, my partner became nervous as hell. But anyway we did the deed. Upon hearing the news his mother began weeping. When the brother tried to comfort his mother by asking what upset her, she blurted out: "Why couldn't he have selected someone of his own race!". Thus we understood her priorities. At dinner later, we all sat around exchanging small talk as if the coming-out news was of no consequence. Since that day we have all gotten along as one big family. BTW: Both his brother and sister are gay.

[@calvinnwoohoo]

It's sad because a lot of Chinese parents want their kids to marry someone of the same race, I understand because it's easier for communication and whatsoever but I find it so close-minded. I don't really see myself with a partner of the same race (who knows though) but my parents would have to get used to it. Haha, the ending I found completely hilarious.

[@Navalator]

calvinnwoohoo I was astounded to receive a most welcome response from my posting from you at such short notice considering that you must have thousands of reactions to your lovely video, a work that has become a substantial public mental health service for persons in your situation struggling with their need to shed the shackles of being closeted. My life partner and I live in a community in Thailand that has a large number of interracial, intercultural and intergenerational couples, most of whom are refugees from former British empire commonwealth countries. One of the great legacies of the British Empire to its former colonial states was an ingrained hared of homosexuals. The evidence is in current draconian archaic laws, hateful religious practices, irrational attitudes and behaviors all designed to persecute and prosecute gays. For one example of the twisted wisdom of England, was the forced chemical castration of the genius inventor of the computer and Enigma code breaker of the Nazi military, Alan Turing. This was a gay man who literally saved hundreds of thousands of lives by ending World War II three years earlier than planned. Yet the English anti-gay mentality was driven to reward this hero with hatred, persecution and banishment. Unfortunately those of us from those commonwealth countries (The United States, Australia, Canada, Singapore, Hong Kong, as scant examples) still suffer from the vestiges of the British mentality. The other great persecutor is institutionalized Christianity which preaches hatred, mal-treatment, terrorizing and scapegoating of gays (Jerry Falwell comes to mind). So the net result is the best and brightest flee these untenable conditions and immigrate to countries not infected with the British hubris. Thailand is one of those countries, which is very accepting of the three “inters” above-mentioned, which then makes the Thai society a veritable Garden of Eden. All of the “mixed” couples that I know are well adjusted, loving, mutually supportive and professionally successful. Many are raising adopted children. When my partner and I left the dysfunctional American society of the United States a massive weight was discarded and our happiness index went through the roof. My recommendation is that, if you meet and fall into love with someone from another race, is to discard the prejudices that you have been subjected to by parents, church and society and go for it. Be the master of your own fate! ~

[@EvenbenYosefbenAvraham]

I am a social worker and to hear your 'Coming Out Story' is deeply touching.....but what's even more amazing is that you are able to put yourself in your parents shoes and acknowledge that it is difficult for them too. I sense that you really love your family and that you are feeling that you have disappointed them.....give yourself and them time to come to terms with your sexuality......you are a lovely guy and you have a sensitive nature, don't ever loose that. big hugz to you and your family for being so brave.

[@billmclean393]

Your story is particularly important for people to watch. You are such a fine and natural young boy, and your parents reaction is so typical of Americans Seeing you speak of the difficulties of being gay with such clarity, and even a show of acceptance, makes this presentation perfect. You have struck a blow against homophobia and against racism. This old man understands what you are going through, and applauds your bravery. .

[@dorkikuma]

You're really brave. I came out to my parents but they still seem to disagree with my views and choices still. But we're reaching a time where things are getting better and gay marriage is legalized in many parts of the world.

[@MarvRoberts]

Gender is overrated. Be who you are.

[@MrBat000]

I'm Not gay and cannot relate but i feel that you had no choice in this matter. I do believe what you are saying is true about having no choice about your sexuality. I feel sorry for you that you are put in this hard position in life! Its not easy socially either! Thanks for sharing your story, so people like me who are not gay, get a proper understanding of your situation. Good luck and wish you the best!

[@SeanShimamoto]

MrBat000 Thank you so much for this statement! I’ve always said that the biggest proponent for change is going to be from the “other side”.’ For example, white people who fought in the Civil War on the side of the slaves...also, men who fought for women’s suffrage...as well as straight people who fought for my right to get married (you have no idea how shitty it felt in the first 42 years to know that most of America saw me as less of a human being just because I was born liking my own gender). So again, thank you for your support of our community and thank you for acknowledging the fact that it’s NOT a choice to be gay. I’ve never understood why people think that we would CHOOSE to be bullied,!ostracized, social outcasts, etc.

[@exoticrange5765]

Sorry but I honestly don't think you have to understand her, because homophobia is not something that you need to understand and toletare, homophobic people need to understand homosexual ones. I'm sorry for you, It would be very hard to me to pass throught what you did or do, when I told my mon she was totally supportive, I like so much the way you talk and explain, I hope she assimilates it soon :-*

[@calvinnwoohoo]

The thing is she'll always be my mom no matter what, I'm not saying I understand homophobia nor will I tolerate it, but I see the perspective she's in. Everything is well friend :) Thanks!

[@exoticrange5765]

Nice to hear!

[@xnlover]

calvinnwoohoo I'm 64, so I grew up in a very different era than you are in now. I didn't come out to my mother until I was 52, and she was 88. My father died when I was 41, so I never told him. But others knew I was gay from when I was in my early 20s. I celebrate the fact that you have come out to those who are closest to you. Because my mom was older, I wondered how she would react to knowing I am gay; and to increase the chance that she would not react negatively, I had a friend who is a pastor - whom Mom knew, too - to go with me. After I told Mom, she said, "Well, you're my son, and I love you, and I appreciate everything you do for me, and what you've told me doesn't change any of that." I said, "Thank you!" And my friend gave her a lot of praise for reacting so graciously. At the same time, in the months and years that followed, it was clear Mom didn't feel comfortable about other people knowing not only that I was gay but also that SHE had a gay son. She told some of her close friends who she knew liked me; but most people in her retirement home she didn't tell. You are very wise to have regard for your mother's feelings, because the implications for her are no less serious than they are for you, even though they are different. If certain family members or friends know that she has a gay son, they might either pressure her to pressure you to "go to the doctor" or to "change," and if she doesn't do that, or if you don't, they might not only stop having anything to do with her, but also might bad mouth her to other people she knows. Sadly, the world can be a very cruel place, and especially people in close-knit communities based on ethnicity, language, culture, religion, politics, or whatever, can be very controlling. This is not to say that you should be untrue to who you are; in fact, to repeat a recorded greeting that used to be used by the Human Rights Campaign, you should "be the best darned homosexual you can be." I think the thing my own mother's reaction to my announcement shows me, too, is that it's important to help your mother stop fixating on that aspect of your personhood and to help her realize that, in every other way, you are the wonderful, intelligent, sensitive, talented son you always were, and that being gay is something that you'll be just as good at as other young men are at being straight. You'll have the possibility of finding a loving partner that she could grow to love, too; and you and your partner might - as you said - decide to adopt one or more children, or maybe to have a surrogate have a child that shares some of your very own genetic material - so it would even be blood-related to her. (I know that's very important among some of the Asian families who are among my friends.) The more you get the chance to educate her about all these things, the more accepting she's likely to become. And when she sees how happy you are as you get out into the world as an openly gay man and sees all the nice gay - and straight - friends you have and what a good choice you make in terms of the one you choose as a partner, her mere acceptance will turn to pride, and at that point, regardless of what other people think, she'll talk openly and with joy about what a wonderful son you are. Good luck to you, Calvin!

[@zenmeister451]

I'm now 68 years old. I was disowned at the age of 18 after my shrink told my Midwestern parents that I had homosexual 'tendencies'. I left and never saw them again…truth! By the by, Calvin, you're quite attractive and you also seem like a really nice, intelligent person.

[@tommynguyen7806]

my mom she is a traditional vietnamese mom she really love me,she spoil me, but she always talk about how I have to be manly because im a boy and when I grow up I'll get a wife and have children I really want to tell her that im gay but it's really hard because im just a 13 years old boy and she expect me to be straight I really need advice at how ti tell her that im gay but she still eccept it

[@ellieemae7760]

I know it’s been 3 years, I’m just curious if you have done it yet?

[@rhinosoar2140]

You are gay. And you are amazing. You are you. So love yourself for that and be happy with who you are because you are beautiful in yourself. Xxxx

[@rareanimevibez1351]

OK BUT THE QUALITY IS GREAT FOR THIS TO BE POSTED 7 YEARS AGO...anyways im glad he decided to come out

[@Admire]

I hope your mom will accept it at some point...But asking you whether you aren't afraid to be attacked because your gay, is basically like asking whether you are afraid to be attacked because you are asian......its part of who you are.

[@Finesse460]

I'm glad your mother finally ended up taking it well.. I hope your dad will eventually accept it too. They say that it takes a real man to own up to himself and come out to his parents. You're strong for that, because I couldn't come out to my mother. She just recently found out through motherly instinct.. Noticing I went out with a specific guy a lot. I planned to tell her when I went out on my own.. But I was too late. Her words: "Just don't embarrass the family." I took it personally, but I shouldn't have.. Just like you said. Ironically, things are back to normal. Nothing changed. Congratulations on coming out to your parents!

[@thedarkomasia2168]

It could've gotten worse, thank God you didn't have to tell her you got a B on your test, right? [I hope you got this joke...]

[@simpstiel3292]

As an Asian I'm honestly scared to come out because my dad is vary old school and homophobic my mom would love me no matter what. Being Hmong there arnt a lot of gays (I don't know any Hmong ppl that are gay :'/ ) but my dad just keeps talking about girls and how he would hurt a son if he was gay ik he really wouldn't but he would kick me out. Im just scared of having to deal with people and im scared of losing people.

[@ellieemae7760]

Heyyyy! is your situation better now?😊

[@TehxHope]

Thank you Calvin for sharing your story, especially because there aren't many LGBT Asian KZbinrs. I have quite traditional Asian parents, as well. I still haven't come out yet but I hope someday I will have enough courage to.

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thank you for this comment :) I wish the best for you in the future.

[@Gatjeni]

WOW!!! Calvin, what an amazing story. I am a South African guy living in China now for the past 4 years. I am a gay male and I see on a daily basis how difficult it is, especially for Asians, to come out. You are a true inspiration, by the way, do you have wechat？

[@calvinnwoohoo]

+Hendrick Kleinhans Oh wow that's cool! I'm actually heading to Asia in a few weeks too :) I do but I don't use it frequently, it should be calvinnwoohoo

[@Gatjeni]

I don't think you're registered anymore. If yo get it sorted, add me HennieKleinhans

[@DD-wd7ku]

Whoever you choose as a partner will be a very lucky man 🤗

[@michaelkuykendall789]

I can't explain to you how much you've actually have helped me. I come from a religious background. My father is a Pastor. So it is hard coming out to my parents. But i did so anyway. I was probably just like you angry that they wouldn't accept it. My parents mean the world to me in to not have there support is a terrible feeling. But thankyou so much. It gets better day by day. You are a beautiful person.

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thank you for sharing this, I'm so glad I uploaded this video because it allowed me to see so many different stories out there like yours, and some that are alike mine. Thank YOU for sharing this, you are a beautiful person. :)

[@danielborg1234]

I am lucky, when I came out, both mom and dad reacted like nothing. They just said okay, asked a few questions. Then accepted it. My brother thought it was disgusting, but he did accept it anyways. Also, all of my friends accept it, and they think it is awesome that I really am gay. My cousin laughed and said FINALLY. He said he had known for some time, just waiting for me to tell him. But I've also got reaction from old friends like, you're disgusting, how can you live with yourself, why don't you just go take your life. But I guess that not everyone can understand and accept. But I'm lucky to have accepting friends and family. Wish you the best of luck. BTW!! You have really beautiful eyes

[@mame_phun]

Don't worry my mom is the same, my oldest brothers gay and he had to go through a lot too. This is why I'm scare to say things to my parents, is very hard for an asian parents to except it. We are all a fighter and one day they would understand.

[@EJCTV_]

Your adorable! Keep your head up

[@NurSieAlle]

I am always so sorry to hear what other gay peope are going through... I had the luck, to grow up in a very understanding [also miixed up with catholic - dads side and evangelic - mums side] familiy. Everybody loves me for who I am and they always taught me, that being gay is not a sin and it's the most normal thing on earth. I would wish, that there were more people out there, who would understand their kids and I really hope and really wish, that all of your trad. asian mums & dads will love you someday for who you are. I give support to all of you and faith. Believe in whoever you are, as long as you are happy, people.♥

[@davidosworld]

thank you so much for this video I came out to my parents today they said basically all that jazz you talked about. it was hard hearing ugly words like that but now I'm out I'm proud and i feel so free. No battle is won without sacrifice. Your video has had a great impact on a 19 year old who just came out to his parents . THAK YOU !! :D

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Wow, I'm so proud of you! And I'm so glad to hear that this video helped you out in a way. I wish you luck with everything with your parents! xx

[@madisonkretz4374]

Omg I love the song medicine

[@femke9597]

you are such a strong person!! Just the fact that you understand your mother too is like so great and such a big thing to be proud of. You came out to your parents anyway thats a thing to be proud of too. You are amazing and you are really a person that I look up to. I am going to show this video to a friend of my. She is lebian and is really scared to tell her parents. I hope this will help her and let her see that it turns out the way it need to turn out. That you just need to make the best of it. Just like you did You have my respect and I think you are amazing! so keep going and find your man that you want to spend your life with xx

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thanks for this lovely message, it means a lot. xx

[@GalHumm]

加油！it gets better！

[@gtimny]

Hi Calvin, I hope things have been getting better with you and your family. I wouldn't presume to give you advice, but there is a lovely and funny movie I think you might enjoy about a Chinese guy faced with pressure to marry by his parents. Of course, he has an American boyfriend his folks don't know about... It's called The Wedding Banquet (1992) www.imdb.com/title/tt0107156/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_8

[@Coopersheen]

Congrats dude, you rock ! Tomorrow is TODAY awesome !!! Could you tell me what that song is in the back ground of your video ?

[@TheAsianboy12345]

Hi there Calvin. I'm also Asian Chinese and raised by old fashion parents. I start to realize my sexuality interest during high school and got bullied a few times because of that but I held my chin up and got support from friends. During senior year in high school I told ALL my friends and my cousins and they were cool with it. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. When Gavin Newsome approved gay marriage in San Francisco being broadcast over the news my parents face got a sick look. So until now everyone knows except my parents.

[@gaysrkool6988]

Calvin, I am so proud that you shared your experience. Your a very cute young man ans someday you will find a life long partner and I hope you will get married and have a family, you deserve to have the joy in your life. may God bless you. F.F.Y.E.B. Don

[@bethfoster6591]

Remember, "coming out" is about you declaring yourself. All the other stuff, is on them. :)

[@RCSVirginia]

It is great to see a wide range of young people's coming out on KZbin. I am sure that there are young Asians, as well as others from cultures that are socially conservative, who are watching you and are seeing themselves in you. You are doing a great service for them. This is just the type of video that I like to put on my "Coming Out As Gay" KZbin Playlist. You told your tale well in a manner that viewers will be able to comprehend.

[@devonguy02]

Well done mate just be yourself, if anyone has a problem with you its not your problem its there,s my mum had a issue with it, its a sons duty to keep them on there toes, best of luck mate, take care

[@calvinnwoohoo]

thanks a lot mate, hope the best for you too :)

[@naklong6716]

I have very very traditional Chinese parents too. They always talk about having a wife and having kids and sometimes stuff like you described. I feel like come on it's 21 centuries now. I want to do and take care of myself. I don't like being told or being manipulating to do this or do that. That sucks. Why can't Asian just lose the tradition a bit

[@timhegan7976]

I also had a very challenging coming out process, and it has taken a number of years to become a non-issue between my Mom and I. Seek out a youth based GLBT group in your area, it helps to speak with others in the same boat! Please contact me if you need support😃

[@stevenbabe4666]

I hope things will keep getting better with your parents and I am glad you have your sisters support. I don’t know how old you are but I didn’t come out till 27 and I was already married to a women. My health was so bad from the stress of living in constant fear of being found out and hating myself. Once I did come out it was the biggest relief of my life. I never felt so happy ever and I would recommend it to anyone to not wait. I will say you need to make sure you are able to take care of yourself if they kick you out of the home. It has happen to many young people and it is awful. I donate money and food to a children’s homeless shelter here in San Diego. The kids are aged 12-18 and many got kicked out for being gay. Also you are really very handsome man and I love your voice.

[@karlrschneider]

I see your video is about 5 years old...so do you still check in YT and how are you doing? I hope you are happy and safe! By the way, congratulations on your excellent English! You are a beautiful educated boy.

[@AusTexPaul]

Hey Calvin. sorry to hear about your difficulty coming out to your parents. My bf is from Hong Kong and his parents are also pretty traditional. Being the eldest son I think there was an expectation for him to also marry a woman and have children from his parent's cultural perspective, and it was difficult for them to accept that he would not follow that path. But over time they have grown to accept him for who he is. We've been together for almost 10 years now and it think it's helped for them to see that a same sex relationship can work. So what I'm saying is that it does indeed get better.

[@maze9794]

I was scared to tell my parents I was bi, and when I did I could tell they weren't happy. They are pretty homophobic but are slowly coming round to it, but still never mention it. However my grandparents are Asian and I know they won't accept it and I'm terrified they will tell all my family in Thailand and I will never get to see them again. It's horrible because my girlfriend is entirely out, and everyone in her family knows, and I feel like I'm letting her down because in my family we don't even talk about it, and not even my brother knows.

[@seanbett4426]

I think coming out is hard for everyone even when they know their parents will be accepting. I known that the days previous to me coming out were really difficult. I lost sleep and struggled to concentrate on my school work. I had-at that time-no siblings however I was very close with one of my cousins and I spoke to her and she was the first person I told. She is a lesbian and is older than me and so, I asked for advice and she said " if she truly loves you now she will still love you when you tell her your gay, so do it." I did and it went very well. I think it was really brave of you coming out to your family when you know how traditional they are and you are strong. Well done. You are a great example for young LGBT who have not yet came out!

[@localguy7333]

I thought it was interesting that you realized that you had years to accept yourself being gay, but it was all new to your mother to accept. That is something I wouldn't have thought about. You are very mature and I'll bet your parents will come around and realize it's just who you are.

[@captnemo4982]

You are a very brave young man and I predict you will have a beautiful and fulfilling life. You must live your own life and others will support your choices or you will leave them behind. We all wish to be our most authentic selves.

[@rc5chi539]

Hey Calvin , sorry to hear that your mom is having trouble with the fact that you come out ? it's not unusual at first and will probably take her some time to adjust to the fact that you're not Heterosexual ? she needs time to come to terms with it , just keep in mind how long it took you to be able to fully accept and come to terms with being gay yourself and how at different times it was a real struggle ? give her time and remember you can't change who she is , just like she can't change who you are . An important thing to remember is being able to respect each other , you don't have to agree but respecting each others feelings will make things go much smoother , i hope things get better for you / your family and you did the right thing by coming out. Good luck in all you do and be safe !

[@190miranda]

coming out to asian parents is lot harder.... and i seriously hate bitchy friends!!!

[@rachelchen3579]

I also have traditional asian parents and one time I asked them what would they do if my brother's gay. I guessed the gist of theri answer already, but it seriously pissed me off. My mom said that person must be mentally ill and talked about reproduction and how it was going against the laws of nature. Then she abrubtly cut me off and said I was being stupid and annoying.

[@worthlessparasite769]

My mom told me I was a sinner and was disgusting my sisters acted like it was a joke i'm a closeted bisexual women I don't doubt for one second that if my father and brother knew they'd beat the shit outta me and kick me out of my ass so I say nothing and pretend " I'm Normal" What ever the fuck that is :'( i'm miserable like this but got no where to go no souport and know nobody cares but I was born this way I could remember secretly crushing on female classmates and female teachers as well as boys my religious family don't understand they never will just as they will never accept the fact that I like both sexes

[@herrschultz7413]

YASS MEDICINE BY DAUGHTER!! love this story! Thanks for

[@keithnewton8981]

Firstly stop apologising for your parents and there ways. Next yes you have the right to expect your parents to accept your sexuality. After all it is there genes that created you and you are not the first person within your family to be gay you will find that other family member are gay. Maybe not out but it certainly runs in families. Your parents should live for who you are and not what they want.

[@Admire]

Very proud of you dude.....Straight ally here. Very courageous. We need a world without homophobia.

[@leonh6901]

I admire your courage! Given that you are still young and having traditional Asian parents. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story and keep us updated. =)

[@aiyebai]

祝你大获成功 - Thanks for sharing. Have a big hug from Mexico City.

[@user-vf4pb9dt1r]

I always wondered how Asian parents accept their kids coming out. I know it's harder for some people depending on their heritage and tradition and where they were born. I admire you for taking your mom's feeling into consideration. I hated my mom for not accepting me, she died with us not even talking I wish I had put her feelings into consideration. I just thought she never liked me because I was gay. thanks again for your story and good luck in life.

[@intersectionfound]

not sure why this was on my recommended 6 years ago ... but maybe it’s a sign I should tell my Pakistani mom. having asian parents can be so hard sometimes. 🧳💃

[@MegaBossman2000]

Wow thats freaking awesome it really was hard for you but you did it and i respect that a lot

[@tasharaven6053]

You are amazing and so brave. I hope your dad accepts it soon too. Thanks for posting this video, made me really think about myself :)

[@vel4212]

my parents are Christian, and im planning on coming out to them as lesbian so yah good luck to me!

[@billywilliams9416]

good for you buddy boy have a happy life

[@Tomgreifzu]

"BE STRONG" be who you are! Life is way to short to live by somebody else rules.......

[@Cai_osity]

This is the most inspirational KZbin video I have ever seen ... Thankyou 💜

[@almagomez4281]

Ugh why is it always the hot ones stuff does get better but you have to go through the tuff stuff first cool video

[@sensen4161]

I have pretty chill asian parents, but they're pretty strict when it comes to american standards. My dad's an atheist who's pretty open minded, and my mom's a bhuddist. I've talked about homosexuallity with them and they're mostly okay with it and even have employees that are trans that they support, but i'm scared. What if it's different because i'm their daughter? I'm not too emotionally connected with any of my parents, and i'm scared to come out. I'm suddenly feeling something that's ushering me to come out. This somewhat helped me calm down, and thank you for sharing your experience.

[@tseamus8288]

My parents is traditional Asian too...I've not enough courage to do say it this to them...but I've already coming out with close friends and some cousins....thank you for sharing and congratulation...live life :):)

[@davidvixandre1993]

Oh wau.... and heavens dropped an angel😍 Asians are my perfect crush, I'm so damn mad for them. I would sing lullabies for him to fall asleep 😍

[@sequoieley9777]

Thank you so much in needed that encouragement that was beautiful your beautiful and your story was inspirational thank you

[@UCanRockMyRazorblade]

Kudos to you for taking that huge step and coming out to your mom. I'm sure it couldn't have been easy, but you did it. I bet it felt like a million pounds was lifted off your chest and shoulders. I'm glad too that you understood your mom's view/feelings towards it too. But it must feel a million times better getting all that out there and being able to truly be yourself and not have to hide anything. I'm proud of you. I subscribed :) Way to go buddy!

[@reginageorge6619]

You look like Oliver from HTGAWM. Hi ^¿^ I'm Connor

[@calvinnwoohoo]

ROBLOX ROCKS haha I love that show!!

[@jasminemcdanel8576]

I was thinking the sam thing!!!!!!!!

[@alarmboy01]

While it would be nice to be accepted by everyone it seldom works out that way. The best we can do is be patient and understanding of those who can't accept reality . Just be yourself since you are the only one qualified for the job. Videos like this really do help .

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Amen! Thank you! x

[@aRcTiCbLu3]

I hope your parents will accept you fully for who you are in the end. Stay strong, you are inspiring!

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate this :)

[@Buddychigo]

I'm so happy things went well for you in the end! :) I also have very traditional Asian parents and even though I've come out to all of my friends, I know I won't tell my parents until I have a stable job and a place to live on my own. As you said, safety comes first and while I'm sure my parents love me, my dad would kick me out (best-case scenario) or try to (literally) kill me (worst-case scenario). It's something I've learned to live with. The only upside to this situation is: they are so typically traditional that they think it's normal I don't date because I'm still a student, so they never worry about me not talking about relationships... except that I've been with my boyfriend for more than 5 years now! haha

[@AlexRo2016]

Oh, and thanks for sharing this. I came out to my mom recently and she took it well. She started crying but said she still loves me. Thank god.

[@EseYorgie]

omg you are so strong for doing this! i heard a lot of asian parents are hard on their children. every bodys story is different, but you are not alone. you are right, everything gets better withing time!

[@jugsApoppin0]

I love you. You are amazing.

[@cozyflurry]

You kinda look like someone ik mixed with Jianhao tan no offence tho lo

[@dwightd3659]

God Bless You Calvin

[@AugustusOakstar]

You are a very together youngman, and so mature. I am Gay and enjoyed 1975 and 1976 as my coming out years... I was still in HS and was going to class by day, and dancing till 1 or 2 at night at the biggest Gay club in San Antonio. As a haven for gay texans it was so wonderful, I had several girls who loved going out with me, as we both looked at the guys. Then I decamped to UT Austin to do a BS in EE. My dorm room was on the same floor as the UT football team, God I was so busy, guys that had called me fag in HS were cumming by for tutoring in Calculus, and actually saying they were sorry for their past behavior. I found my first love ( we hiked and camped and climbed all the 10 tallest peaks in the lower 48 states), my parents never said anything about what was I? And 20 years later when I told them I was Gay, (and made it thru the 80's w/o contracting HIV) they said they had figured it out considering that in the male cousins in my family 5 out of 7 are gay. All on my Dad's side. I wanted to say best of luck in the hardest lifestyle you could be a part of. But God made you that way, so live your life fully, and don't let happiness walk out the door. God bless you and your parents, I understand what you were expected to do as the only son (so was I) in an Asian culture, so adopt, my friends did and are grandparents now. Spread your wings and take flight. Wm Ackley SATX

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Thank you for this kind message. sending love. xx

[@masio2605]

Hi... May I still leave a comment if I don't have a question? Hehe. I would like to say that you are an amazing person... Does it sound weird since I don't know you personally? Well, all I know about you is: 1) you are honest, 2) you are very brave, 3) you are very considerate (thinking about your mom's emotions... Also, sharing your story and offering advice to others). I truly hope that your path will not be hard, and that your parents will be able to fully accept that you are gay. I can see that you love them very much. Hopefully, they will appreciate the treasure they have :)

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Haha thank you so much for this nice comment; and of course you can leave a comment even if it's not a question :-) You guys are the sweetest xo.

[@davidwoodford7304]

You deserve the very best, Calvin!

[@lolly34345]

YOU are an Inspiration! to EVERYONE! Because you showed us all that even when youre own parents don't except you, that it is JUST as normal as anything else! Because beeing Gay doesn't mean beeing different or bad! It means beeing proud of yourself! Because everyone who is ignorant or hateful to Gay people is not better than anybody else! Because they don't know what it means to go literally through hell! Crying yourself to sleep every night, because you hate yourself for beeing ths beautiful person you should be! And I'm Gay and I'm proud of it! BUT it took me a long time to accept that and to love myself for beeing who I am. It took me so much strengh to come out to all my friends and my parents! And I know what it takes to come out! And everyone who ever discriminated a Gay person should ask themself if they could come out to their parents and their friends! thankyou for sharing your story! I'm sure it helps!

[@calvinnwoohoo]

Amen!