the narcissist treated you nicely until he didn't. they have just one speed. what the new supply has is temporary. just like you. don't envy them; don't be jealous. it's a waste of emotion. concentrate on you. leave the misery behind. look for the peace you deserve.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
True. Everything is black or it's white ❤🙏
@aquariusrising70194 жыл бұрын
You paraphrased what I say to myself all the time. "It was fun while it was fun, and then it wasn't" Unfortunately "wasn't" was the reality.
@Empress4ever4 жыл бұрын
sophie morrison 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@miss.britt_4 жыл бұрын
sophie morrison I love how you put your words 💯
@gianniavilla69374 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo what if their new supply is an overt narcissist and makes a decent amount of money? My ex narc left me because her and her family are broke and money is a dire essential for them. He lives in a different state and flies her out or will fly out to her. He get's to have his space and other women while shoveling a little money for another woman on the list
@kimlynch2092 жыл бұрын
The new supply will be treated the same, eventually. They DO NOT change.
@CynthiaAva29 күн бұрын
It's been over 5 years...but they are long distance...so she is in for a surprise someday.
@brittanyb59423 жыл бұрын
Narcissist are very dependent on others for happiness! They CANNOT be alone! They don't know how!!!!
@travis66943 жыл бұрын
This is true, they are serial daters most of the time. Moving on quickly, I ignored the red flags from her friend who told me she always needed to have a guy in her life for validation and self worth.
@clintonnagy16624 ай бұрын
My EX would reminded me constantly how she was always lonely, and miserable when I wouldn't stay the night. She would remind me she always feels lonely and sad even after we had amazing day together.
@jcdezmen4 жыл бұрын
If you truly know how the narcissist operates, you'll know that they cannot be happy at all! They are NOT happy with the new supply. They weren't happy with you. They are just unsatisfied individuals, incapable of connection and love. You're channel blew up! Very Happy for you!!! Awesome!
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
I think that's probably one of the first things that's obvious. They *really* aren't happy people. And thank you! Love your channel too! Congrats on the 2k milestone ❤🙏🎉
@bimmersgt4 жыл бұрын
Thanks to you both for your channels. So much valuable information for us in this community ❤️❤️ Much love and healing to us all. Please keep the videos coming, they are so valuable and helpful!!!!
@joyelbel25954 жыл бұрын
At the core, they are unhappy with themselves. And the only thing that makes them feel better is making you feel bad.
@Tony-dh3 жыл бұрын
And its all your fault why she wasn’t happy. Nothing she did or didn’t do made her unhappy. The lie i was also told. I talked to my ex on the ph three weeks ago before i went no contact. And yes she is not happy. Has got nothing, yet., Her old guy new target is not treating her like a god Yet.
@justme_lo3 жыл бұрын
But they sure pretend well...
@denisefuentes79054 жыл бұрын
I went no contact for two year. The narc moved onto a new supply who he termed “his princess”. She got income cars and jewelry. One day we made contact to settle a health insurance issue. He told me all about her. I was jealous but didn’t let on. Before I knew it he was hovering me back and I fell if for no other reason but damage control for the financial chaos he was causing. One of the things that hurt me was a poem he wrote to her that was sensitive and deep. Deeper then I ever witnessed. Today I found the poem on line. It was plagiarized. Typical.
@yoopermagicwithdwyanegarma35764 жыл бұрын
lol plagiarized! I had a similar experience. my former spouse liked to write very romantic poems to catch his prey. I feel unhappy with myself for falling for it, but no contact works great. I just wish all his monkeys would get a clue!
@denisefuentes79054 жыл бұрын
Dwyane and Deanne Garman At last my husband had a heart attack and died. Talk about no contact.
@angeljosephs304 жыл бұрын
Wooow sicko
@OO-of1mn4 жыл бұрын
They gave romantic song for his new supply on FB..n made that new supply feeling as princes.. She mocked there
@nancydenick18754 жыл бұрын
They are not particularly smart or talented, so of course he stole a poem and claimed it as his own. They are thieves in every sense.
@sharlene264 жыл бұрын
I was literally crying my eyes out when I was watching this video. The narc and his new supply 'seem' so happy and loved up on social media and it absolutely broke my heart... so glad I watched this video. It made me feel comfort and reminded me that he will never change and he is not in love
@sarahford55323 жыл бұрын
Same here!!! And he never posted me on social media all 3 years we were on and off. I don’t think he’s posting her but she has their relationship all over her page. Little does she know, I her blocked voicemails and calls from his daily asking to see me again and hook up. Complete fraud.
@sharlene263 жыл бұрын
@@sarahford5532 Omg same! my ex posted me twice in four years 🙂 fuck them! She will learn his true ways eventually! we are free from abuse and a life of misery!!
@slimjim11043 жыл бұрын
@@sarahford5532 word. It's the worst...
@Ayixlia3 жыл бұрын
I wish to give you a hug because I went and felt the sane way as you, but I live and let love fly free I live by that.
@sharlene263 жыл бұрын
@@Ayixlia ❤️❤️❤️
@awakeandalive30204 жыл бұрын
Whenever you are feeling bothered by thoughts of the new supply, take a mind adventure to the past, to the beginning of your relationship with the narcissist. Remind yourself how great you felt initially and then remind yourself of how you are feeling *right now*. Remind yourself of all the things that happened to make you feel how you feel right now, of how your dreams turned to dust. And know that the new supply will now have to learn the same lessons you did. There is nothing to be jealous or envious of here - just compassion and empathy for the devastation the new supply will ultimately endure.
@falayyou4 жыл бұрын
Amen
@williambr884 жыл бұрын
This is a great comment. It went from 100 down to zero in two years.
@anya43044 жыл бұрын
this is so true, but u know, I can't help but blame myself for the failure of our relationship. My ex said that if I had acted a certain way and hadn't had sex with him too early in the relationship, he wouldn't have disrespected me and would've treated me better. I kinda believe him but I have my doubts, I low key don't know what's real and who's to blame anymore
@awakeandalive30204 жыл бұрын
@@anya4304 They will say whatever they have to in order to hit a nerve with their blame-shifting. "If only this, if only that" - don't listen to a word of it. It comes back to him - "if only he was more respectful, if only he treated you the way that you deserve to be treated". You are not to blame for his shitty behaviour, so please redirect it back to its rightful owner. Be kind to yourself. Always. :)
@Pammie1433 жыл бұрын
@@anya4304 part of their game. Its just to hurt you and fill you with self doubt and take the focus of of THEM. You are wrong, do NOT blame yourself. Nothing was real. Nothing will ever be real for them, you have to pity them.
@jcdezmen4 жыл бұрын
People have to remember that it's a never-ending cycle for the narcissist. It's just part of the patter that they repeat over and over again. Narcissists can't just move on. They have to always seek out attention from older sources of supply to build up their low self esteem. Also, the narcissist is ALWAYS in need of supply. They can never be alone. They are weak and butthurt individuals!
@biscotti_88204 жыл бұрын
Omg yess exactly! Just went through this🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
@costcocombopizza82294 жыл бұрын
💯 Down right true!
@Tony-dh3 жыл бұрын
My one has no close friends. She is so low self esteem she took advice from an old couple, without telling them the full story. It was dumb what she has done in my opinion. I will sit back and watch the train wreck unfold. Bad times are coming. Not just for her. And I don’t want her back after what she did and said to me. Am happy when she left she took my family demons with her.
@lenda2113 жыл бұрын
Very try im still in the hurt process and why her and not me but I'm slowly adjusting to its all bs this new girl and it's now her crazy
@janicemontecalvo1102 жыл бұрын
@@lenda211 why her and not me? Keep reminding yourself...she's the one getting cheated on and lied to. Don't buy into the illusion. Behind closed doors he is giving her the silent treatment and disrespect. Bet he's on his phone watching porn and ignoring her. So think thank God it's not you. You deserve better.
@naidzasky57484 жыл бұрын
When I broke up with my narcissistic ex, not even a month passed he already found new supply. He portrayed his new relationship as this "amazing" thing. He posted about her and bragged about her. But honestly little did he know that I actually don't feel sad at all about that. Because I know that his new relationship is just his try to make me feel sad and jealous. Why would I be? I literally found myself, educated myself, learned to set boundaries with people, learned what toxic people look like, learned how to love myself and respect myself. Nothing to regret about an abusive relationship
@kaylacharles49303 жыл бұрын
More love and power to you I just did the same !
@naidzasky57483 жыл бұрын
@@kaylacharles4930 I am so proud of you, you can do it!
@kaylacharles49303 жыл бұрын
Naidza Sky thank you so much!
@nafeesa143 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I am in a good space finally and this gives me hope🙏🏽
@chantehowe77982 жыл бұрын
He don't post her on social media but he do try to introduce her to are kids and keep bringing her up to his family and want everyone to meet her which indicates to me he's very much into het and has fallen in love what's bothering me is how fast he jumped in this relationship when we was together the entire 5 months we was separated we was very much still together he would invite me over say he miss me and then boom he cut off all contact and started telling people he in a relationship keep in mine prior before are separation we was married for 25 yrs so while its hard for me to move on and I'm still emotionally invested not because of my history with this man but to know through are 5 month separation he kep playing in my face telling me we can work on us and inviting me over for meals conversations and making me think he was very much still interested when in reality he has moved on but had me on the side in case it didn't work out with his new supply so I don't know if he's really happy if she's a rebound or if he's really inlove or was just using me until he was ready to be with her dud he really love me?? Why was it so quick for him to throw me away and completely cut off all contact he barley reach out to are kids anymore he's a completely different person he went out and brought all new clothes foot wear new phone he did a complete make over and for the 25 yrs I been with him he refused to ever wear any name brand sneakers or clothes im struggling with so many questions why?? How and I will never get closure because he told me it was all my fault he been hurting and unhappy for 25 yrs he been with me but the last 5 months of are separation he told me he missed me loved me and invited me constantly to his home even got mad sometimes when I would decline
@breables12934 жыл бұрын
It’s all games. It’s so sad that narcs live that way. They are sad and depressed, anxious and stressed out, but in denial about all of it for their whole life. Keep no-contact everyone
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
Great advice for anyone who can swing it! ❤🙏
@simonw38724 жыл бұрын
That is the most concise summary ever. Perfect. I think that troubled nature was always visible; drawing the "white knight" inside us into a rescue mission. Lesson learnt.
@ddseir14434 жыл бұрын
Imagine your whole life as a never ending defense mechanism. We all use them. But we don't become them. A denial so strong that makes you behave like a lunatic (narcissistic rage) whenever you feel it threatened.
@blessedsenior14294 жыл бұрын
NO CONTACT ova here !
@takingbackmypower98593 жыл бұрын
Hard to go no contact with kids
@PapayaPepper2024 жыл бұрын
He wanted me to stick around and fight for him, I ran away as fast as I could.
@rodrigo100kk3 жыл бұрын
I did the same with my ex gf. They are very sick ppl.
@la_rooh3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@sylviaking88663 жыл бұрын
Mine was furious that I did not stick around and was the one to petition for divorce almost immediately upon discovering his infidelity.
@sylviaking88663 жыл бұрын
@Katrin Hoffmann my husband cut my credit cards cut my cell phone closed the joint accounts to hold the money out so I could have nothing His main aim was to prevent me from getting a lawyer and to starve me out to force me to comply with his alimony demands but my twin sister sent me money and I now have a very good lawyer who is an expert at dealing with narcissists thank God
@chantehowe77982 жыл бұрын
@@sylviaking8866 mine blamed me for everything
@1986shereen4 жыл бұрын
happy to be out of this ...
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
It's a great feeling 🙏❤
@MrJaysoul134 жыл бұрын
God bless you for having the strength and wish you nothing but the best moving forward
@human-pm2kv4 жыл бұрын
Living well is the best revenge
@chantehowe77982 жыл бұрын
Its so hard because my kids go over her house on weekends and always come back with a story buy im praying for healing
@ShayLove84Fam1stАй бұрын
Yessss
@ISAFarc Жыл бұрын
My narcissistic ex, started another relationship when we were still together. After the break up I could see from afar that the relationship was a mess. But still something in me was telling me “what if thy are actually happy,” “what if he is actually changing” as the new supply kept saying. However, a few months after they broke up and the new supply came to me cause they wanted to talk about everything that has happened in their relationship. It turns out that my ex was driving them crazy. Their relationship was a fast and furious version of mine. Since the beginning they had a lot of labs for tris together and stuff. But things started to fall apart almost since the beginning. The was more gaslighting, more irritability, less respect for boundaries than in my relationship. I’m not going to lie hearing the new supply story gave me relief and closure!
@BrendaBaBoom4 жыл бұрын
That Narc no longer has any starring role in my life....not even a BIT part, he walked in and was told to walk off. I’m the STAR of my life not some circus clown.
@sophiachin12623 жыл бұрын
Amen
@jackfrost08152 ай бұрын
Got one already it’s tore me up
@FROSTYFEET8744 жыл бұрын
trying to explain this to people make you sound crazy and delusional because they never been through this .
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
That's can be true! I wouldn't go out of my way to explain it to someone who hasn't seen it firsthand. It's too hard for people to understand the mind of the narcissist, and it's much easier for them to believe you're exaggerating. But most of us here have seen it and experienced it, and we know you're not crazy. It's straight out of their playbook ❤🙏
@FROSTYFEET8744 жыл бұрын
Common Ego thank god I am not alone!
@aharowna35394 жыл бұрын
@@FROSTYFEET874 Hey...trust me Karnell, your far from alone here and it's totally mind blowing just how many other's are going through similar horrendously debilitating and heartless situations likewise. Obviously we've all heard of Narcissism, but I'd no idea so many even exist out there & the untold damage and purposeful heartbreak they are causing & yet just walk away and keep on starting over again & again. I swear they are soulless monsters in a fake human body!!! Take good care of yourself and any genuine loved one's!!! Fastereft.com may help recovery also a fab Neuroscientist called Dr. Joe Dispenza is worth looking up! shalowm 🌈🙂👍💜
@FROSTYFEET8744 жыл бұрын
Angie Jackson thank you
@FROSTYFEET8744 жыл бұрын
Angie Jackson thank you so much honestly , really have been a tough couple of months but what makes this so weird and unusual this isn’t the first time I was discarded but like the 2 or 3rd time . She never sees what she does wrong but loves to point the finger at you.
@virginiawilson67504 жыл бұрын
It is always a game with narcissists. They don't ever change and believe me what they did to you they WILL do the the next.
@fooled_twice46682 жыл бұрын
it's a game for sure. my ex overt narc used to tell me "the one who cares more, loses." what a sicko. he was infatuated with WINNING at all cost. he went on to get multiple new "supplies" until his early death. karma got him! i have no doubt.
@joey_youtube2 жыл бұрын
@@fooled_twice4668 how'd he die
@fooled_twice46682 жыл бұрын
@@joey_youtube he started going schizoid- alone in most ways- plus he had alcohol abuse, probably narcotic abuse, bad hips requiring surgery followed by falls, multiple hip infections, a post-op complication, anoxic brain injury, then another 4 years in nursing homes. seriously ironic, as he had been an orthopedic surgeon in life! he literally self-destructed. and alienated his wife (me) then our 3 kids as his ship sank.
@joey_youtube2 жыл бұрын
@@fooled_twice4668 holy fucking christ BABAHAHAHAHA THIS MAN WENT THROUGH LIKE 10 PEOPLE'S KARMA JESUS FUCK
@supremehealthtotalmindbody73602 жыл бұрын
You made such a profound point when you said "he may treat the new supply better because there's some benefit there for him". I remember when I was dumped out of the blue for someone else. I almost died, all I kept asking was where was this person all the time we where talking, what does she have that I don't? I had so many questions and no answers all he would do is stonewall and try to even shift blame to me. It blew my mind when I saw him put up pictures of them or her on his social media, I mean as far as I knew just a minute ago I was his everything I had no idea there was anyone on his radar. Then 6 months in they got married, all their friends and family congratulating them, I was so devastated. She was getting everything I wanted. And I didn't even know anything about narcissism but I started looking up the way I was being treated in order to understand what was happening to me, the lack of empathy especially. That's when I learned that what he was doing to me had names like gaslighting, stonewalling, blame shifting. But he wanted this person to file for him to migrate to another country. So she filed thinking she was chosen because she was better. The marriage lasted 1 year, 4 months after he landed he dumped her and later divorced her. Now he's dating other people and I suppose that "wife" is now looking up videos about narcissism in order to understand just happened to her. But the people he's trying to date seem smart because one of them just dumped him citing "red flags". They don't seem to change and they don't treat anyone great unless there's something in it for them.
@seenzonetv8533 Жыл бұрын
Omg same as my experience
@Niqua10023 Жыл бұрын
Same. I learn that too. I was like I'm way prettier and smarter than this clown. They always go for downgrades sometimes. My thing was she did real estate and she wasn't really good at it what I seen not to say just because. I just could tell from the editing and stuff. Yes I was the why and what was he thinking? But, it all started to make sense now. Do not get me wrong some can make good money and some don't make good money but, settle what they got. She settles what she got and she already had 4 to 5 kids before then. She was looking for a figure for her kids. She pick the wrong one. He only using her for a place to stay because I kicked him out. Plus, she believes his lies. She end up pregnant like a fool she is acting like they happy now? He abandoned the kids he had and she knew about me before I knew she even existed. She was a side. 🤔 A back up plan he not into but, uses when needed like the rest. He also, had 3 kids before me and I had one. We had two later on. I found out I was pregnant he knew and didn't bother to help out but, play fake family with her now. It's wild. I hope she knows she a homewrecker and he ain't nothing. He uses her for things he needs and now act like he has a business all of a sudden? He is using her. She will learn. I'm free from it. Thank you moron. Me and my kids will just be fine. Who's laughing now. Don't be surprised he leave one day and get more fools like you pregnant. I had to learn the hard way. She knew better then I did. She knew about me and knew not to get involved.
@brittanyb59423 жыл бұрын
I feel sorry for the narcs ex before me. I see how she felt after they broke up and he moved onto me after one months. I was just being used to make her jealous.
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
Yep we unknowingly perpetuate pain.
@blurglide3 жыл бұрын
I actually "bonded" with my narc's ex-boyfriend to learn how he dealt with the smear campaign. She'd been running the same smear on him for years that she was now running on me. I told him "I think she's cluster B", and he chuckled and told me all about it....he had become a walking encyclopedia on this subject. Now her new supply is a former friend of mine, so that's how she tried to hurt me- by taking away a friend circle. I have her blocked on social media so can't see them doing anything to trigger me. He should be joining our little club soon, although he's lasted a bit longer than I have
@gracecandelaria4062 жыл бұрын
Im the ex who put aware to the new girl, of my covert narc but they are calling me crazy, I just left that as it is and move on...she will learn with experience!
@ccarter12032 жыл бұрын
I apologized to her. I really felt bad. She was one of the people that helped me move on and to feel better. She knew what I was feeling. She helped me a lot.
@horsetictac2 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@alaia-awakened2 жыл бұрын
I dated a narcissist about 6 years ago. We broke up twice, and each time, he had a new girlfriend in about a week. And I don't even think he was cheating either - just that he had an addiction to love and attention. I thought I would never feel good about myself back then, but I've gone all in on my healing since, and today I feel happier and more confident than ever. Hang in there everyone, healing is possible and it's coming your way!
@robertataylor5794 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this post! It is helping me get through this Christmas. Broke up September of 21, Left Dec. 12th 21, Last Contact (an accident he showed up to my ex husbands and was shooed off eventually) anyway been NO Contact since July 22, the pain IS starting to pass finally, but still struggling with the aftermath of the abuse. So thank you for these words of encouragement!
@samia688816 күн бұрын
@@robertataylor5794how are you doing now
@samia688816 күн бұрын
How are you now?
@Witchywoman134 жыл бұрын
I also think that the really intelligent ones learn and up their game with each victim. My ex definitely has psychopathic tendencies. He’s very controlled and plans things out. It’s like a game of chess with him.
@nehasharma-dy7ml4 жыл бұрын
I definitely agree..... And foolish me taught him so much about narcissism.... Guess what is more dangerous than a narc?? An educated narc.....
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
HD Tudor states that the average narc does what they do as defense mechanisms or instinct. There are those who know who they are and what they do and they don't care how they impact others. The rest act out of instinct that they developed as children to get a small percentage of the needs the adults in their lives were not meeting met. Do to George Simmons material I had adopted the belief Narcs knew exactly what they were doing and did it on purpose. I think there are those who indeed do, but the large number of them do not. I do think they do know what has worked to get them their way and they do some things with the knowledge, but it's more because they are entitled to get their way and have things there way because their way is so superior. They are aware that society doesn't approve of their behavior, but that's because society just understand.
@velvetpixiecake53102 жыл бұрын
Yessss!!! I agree, manipulation at it's finest!
@lisalambert818654 жыл бұрын
It looks like they are treating them better and giving them everything you thought you wanted from the narcissist, because they are doing it to get under your skin. But like with you, they can never be happy because they don’t even like themselves and they are empty.
@robertataylor5794 Жыл бұрын
The more the NARC gives them, the more they will lose in the end and aftermath of the relationship, they give and get supply, they take each thing and destroy it for the negative fuel and supply !
@colbysmom564 жыл бұрын
Years ago, in grade school, there was a girl who always brought a bag of candy to school and she would pick out someone from amongst a group standing around her and share the candy with her/him while those of us stood around begging her for a MOJO or a Sweet Tart. She got off on it. That's what narc's are like. Narc's are pathetic individuals. You don't need a narc's "candy".
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
That's an accurate description. Except narc candy is more like those BeanBoozled jelly beans. They look normal on the outside, but after a bite or two you realize you got swindled 😅
@jensbasement38624 жыл бұрын
Their candy rots your teeth in nanoseconds
@fawn6336 Жыл бұрын
The most healing act to take after a discard and/or break up either way from a narcissist, is to unfriend and either block or go silent. Don’t peek! Ever. Not knowing, not looking - this is so healing. This is the only way to have the last word with the narcissist and find closer. The only way. Keeping tabs is like pouring salt on a painful wound. Another way to speed up healing is to get out of the head where the rumination and addiction keeps one trapped. When painful withdrawals occur, transfer the pain to body and let the waves wash through U. Allow the temptation to text, call and/or peek at social media to pass and give it time . . . An hour or a few hours. You will realize that you are sooo thankful you didn’t give in. Little by little the healing happens. This is exactly like an addiction to overcome.
@abigailgarcia30903 ай бұрын
Thank you
@christyb94874 жыл бұрын
I recall in the beginning my x saying to me how he would treat me so good that it would make others envious. I thought it was strange
@alesiafoster77504 жыл бұрын
Oh wow..mine said the very same thing...strange indeed..didn’t realize it then though..”I was being love bombed”..better believe I’m FULLY AWAKE NOW..and I’m also Divorcing that.
@lorabor89674 жыл бұрын
@@alesiafoster7750 yes, me too, divorcing after 26 yrs of lies. I know, I should have done it years ago but did not know there was a name for his abuse until after final breakup. They need to educate college students. Mandatory!!
@user-cf4jj8gb8p3 жыл бұрын
yep mine always reminded me how good he treated me and how I won't find anyone to treat me as good
@CalAjax3 жыл бұрын
@@user-cf4jj8gb8p my ex said the same thing to me. Wow
@marteneqdt3 жыл бұрын
I remember how angry the ex boyfriend acted towards me, and her. She told me they had broken up, but he, like me now, would never have had closure. Perhaps I expect, she been sleeping with him while she found me. I'm so thankful for these series of videos. To understand what happened, and to be prepared for what's coming. I'd have never believed someone could treat a lover so cruel.
@jayfack75364 жыл бұрын
It's so crazy how consistent these patterns are.
@Pattie-o7f4 жыл бұрын
He married his new supply that has 6 kids. He is 64..shes 42. Bought a huge new home, car, etc. I know she will eventually pay for all of what he does for her especially since she is who he cheated on me with. Good luck....you got what you deserve. This is helpful bc I still have cognitive dissonance issues.
@EF-tb2fm4 жыл бұрын
My ex-husband married a woman he met while she was in medical school. He was in his 40s, with two kids, and in the middle of a child-custody trial. I feel so sorry for her, because I know he will destroy her. I am just thankful that when she is there, he pretends he is the perfect father, and thus treats my children better. She is now 28; he is 46.
@charmee40453 жыл бұрын
When my therapist told me he was lucky to have had me for as long as he did, and move on. With that one sentence I was able to cut the cord and realize that she was 100% right. I just had a narcissist that ghosted me 6 years ago reach out, of course I blocked him. He is still searching and always will be, they are to be pitied.
@donnas.1576 Жыл бұрын
at the end of our 35 year marriage, he told me he was only happy a few times during that time. While I recognize that we shouldn't rely on other people for our happiness, his condescending dismissal of me, telling me that "I shouldn;'t look to him for my happiness" chilled me to the bone. I realized then he never was happy and will never be happy.
@Alpinewild4444 жыл бұрын
i’m 2 years free, i’ve learned so much and moving on. yet if i think of the way he ended us i still can’t get over the feelings of shock. it was the most heartless heartbreaking brutal thing i’ve ever experienced. it’s true what they say when the mask comes completely off. i saw the devil. our community was in the midst of 2 natural disasters back to back, many people had died, our home was in the evacuation zone. he walked out while i was frantically packing to leave with a mountain behind me on fire. i went alone. 2 weeks later he came to one of the funerals, with his new girlfriend. i am truly sorry for her, these people are pathological predators that cause devastation and pain and can ruin lives.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
That's incredibly heartless. I'm sorry you went through that ❤🙏
@Alpinewild4444 жыл бұрын
Common Ego 🙏🏻thank you. i’m just so grateful to be free from him. never again!
@Rossi50074 жыл бұрын
Inbelievable, stay strong!
@Alpinewild4444 жыл бұрын
Rositsa Росица thank you💖 🙏🏻i am surprised to say i am! and grateful for the most difficult lesson, now i know it’ll NEVER happen again.
@aharowna35394 жыл бұрын
@@Alpinewild444 Well Done You "wildflower" 🌹🌈😍you can be very proud of what you've achieved!!! Much Love 💝
@susanschaar143 жыл бұрын
" "Don't fall into the trap". "Stand back and watch objectively" You diffused my emotional thinking with this. I super needed this today, thank you
@ahhwe-any7434 Жыл бұрын
i do. its easier to do this by sticking to no contact. & its easier to listen to her when she doesnt act like shes got sneaky alterior motives. easier but its still hard. me kind of... letting him & his fam. treat me like crap, now i just dc how his mom reacts when i keep my residency private. im not being crazy. its crazy to enable your son when u know hes been abusive in all the above ways. ill never forget the day when she asked me to do more of my part +and told me thats what it was like being a woman, a wife. i told her dont ever dare me what its like to be a woman when u couldnt ever teach your sons to be men. but im sure she had no part in that 1. if i wanted to be real ugly i shouldve said is thats y are your marriages failed? bc even tho id like to think im completely cut off & independent from my toxic family i def still think they affect me in alotta ways i didnt even see coming. like if they can make it work, sh anyone could. & even tho i dont like them tho, i do admire the courage they always had to face adversity. mustve been scary. but i guess when ur kids turn out to be like u... in ways. anyways, im just so bad at bold face lying, me in the moment, trying to be vague: describes what the whole damn n.hood looks like. & its like in the middle of no where ... :/ is that throw offish enough? bc i still said the city, ugh. i know his mom legit wont keep her mouth shut even if she claims she does. shes just the horrible liar type that cant even keep up w/ her own bs. the main thing for me is that i had a baby w/ this d.bag. anything relative to my innocent baby is like wth can i even do w/ out collecting charges? bc in all truth, thats the only tie i have to these toxic ppl .. if i didnt have this baby i wouldve been long gone not even bothering w/ his mom & them. unfortunately, im stuck thinking about these ppl for the rest of my life. as far as the other woman .. girl! she really ignorantly thought that by saying well youre the 1 whos stuck w/ him lol, was some come kind of knock. like youre a damn knock off is what u r. wearing stuff i threw to the side, listening to his same lines he prob tells everyone, giving him the experience hell prob ignorantly gain to use on someone else... bc no, were not actually all the same. so like what youre implying is that youre ignorantly desperate & easy, right? bc not sure which direction youre going w/ that. i bet it is easier "being" w/ her ... but good luck w/ that anyways. shes such a creep to me. no 1 asked rapey vibes. my kid would hate her, duh. like her own predictably will. bc as far as my side, my pov of things, them kids r not mine! i have enough of my actual Own responsibilities, you prob really wouldnt ever want to leave your kids w/ me knowing how they (him & her) operate. im not heartless but ill see it for what it actually is. stranger kids. id leave them at a daycare or shove em in a box at the fire dpt or something :/. im just overdue ranting now but im so sick of em. id be lying if i said i never had thoughts of just burning the bridge on them entirely. like im a runaway kid. this isnt new to me... yeah i can get caught up in my head. what my next move is tho... theyll find out .. hahaha w/ a hunded wives & kids tho. like nah dawg, send them to that cult place. like johava witnesses or wever. bc im out. these other bishes, more the power to ya .. bc yall deserve each other, truly. its laughable to me, the masks.
@no89lan34 жыл бұрын
I just wish I would have never met this person. But I the same time it was a learning experience.
@kyekye24824 жыл бұрын
OMG!!!!!! My ex husband of 23 years just got married yesterday and our divorce isn't a year old. I found this video this morning and it answered nearly ALL my questions and gave me a sudden sense of peace, self-approval, and so much more. I was once the pawn, myself, and didn't even remember; but reflecting back, now I see it. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Let the healing begin!!!!!!!!!
@pinnakal12 жыл бұрын
My husband moved on while we were separated. Didn’t bother to get a divorce. I had to divorce him
@11burnout2 жыл бұрын
Same here, boyfriend of 18 years is marrying not even a year after our separation… he abused me badly the last 10 years. Ive been so depressed about this but after watching all theese clips I feel sorry for the new girl.
@sanjmalik62822 жыл бұрын
Yep new supply was already being groomed even before the divorce proceedings started. Got the divorce in April he married in May. Pathetic parasites.
@mocahontas3528 ай бұрын
Same omg she's great right on time
@crystalblossom53603 жыл бұрын
Just think about how it was in lovebomb.. yes they are being treated "perfect"... for now.. as soon as that supply completely lets their guard down and feels secure it will stop and they will go through the confusion, the bizzare health issues, then comes the devalue and they could be stuck in that god knows how long before discard and we all know those parts are not pretty, so whats to envy.. a temporary high that is destined for hell?
@sharia_1014 жыл бұрын
are we even talking about a person ? or the devil himself? This is sick, how can a person exploit another to such an extent? 😔
@camilleharris34574 жыл бұрын
They like to rub the new person in your face. He sent me a text a couple of weeks after moving out to let me know that he had meet someone new and they were so much happier. They were married a couple of months after that. I feel so sorry for her, she had no idea she was inviting a demon into her home. I hope she wakes up to her reality but they have a kid now so who knows. Great video! Excited for a trauma bonding video as that is my favorite topic! I really think everyone should have education on trauma bonds.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
It's so sad when kids are involved, but I'm glad to hear you're out. I find the trauma bond fascinating too. Wild how this all works ❤🙏
@lilaclavender19894 жыл бұрын
What is trauma bonding?
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
@@lilaclavender1989 The video went out yesterday, so you can watch for an explanation ❤🙏
@lilaclavender19894 жыл бұрын
Thank you i'm actually watching the video right now!
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
@@lilaclavender1989 awesome... hope you like it! ❤
@martycrow4 жыл бұрын
The most difficult battle (for me) is figuring out why I didn't see, or act on the red flags, how I bought into the most ridiculous gaslighting explanations, how I reconciled contradictions in her narratives, how I smoothed over gaps between words and actions. Yes, it was crazy-making (that word again) but I thought that it was me. That I was being sensitive and overthinking. That all that Law of Attraction stuff meant that I was responsible for my own 'negativity'. If only I could be more 'positive'. Regaining control of my cognitive abilities has been tough, but such a worthwhile battle. In fact, it was (and is) essential.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
Same. It's a fine line between taking ownership for your role and taking responsibility for things you don't own. And when you're trauma bonded, that line is very blurry ❤🙏
@martycrow4 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo thank you for that! Yes it was trauma bonding even though it was a long-distance relationship, meeting perhaps 8 days a month. I tied to break it off probably 6 times over the year. But she did just enough to keep me trapped. That juju was powerful stuff!
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
The problem is that the individual who is showing up is so far different then the person in the love bombing stage who we thought was a real individual, and the decline into devaluation is a slow one, with minor small incidents that seem so tiny and inconsistent with who we know them to be we explain away the behavior as accidental. We all know that at times we are inconsistent, and we so want to believe the person we thought them to be that to resolve the cognitive dissonance we explain away things, until finally the behavior is so inconsistent it hits us like a ton of bricks and we can see everything clear as night and day. What I've learned is if someone is treating me in a way that is stressful, regardless of the reason why ( abuse, bad childhood), I need to cut them from my life or give them a wide birth by not allowing them to be part of any type of intimate relationship. That was my bad explaining away the last narcs behavior due to her "childhood abuse."
@barthk36402 жыл бұрын
The narc picked you! They picked you because you are a strong, good, kind, caring, empathetic person. Because you were a very good supply for them. Yes, you must look at your part in it. Whatever it may be. I will tell you though. If you were only in the relationship for a year. Thank whoever it is you pray to man!!! And consider yourself very lucky! I spent 7 years with a Covert narc. And she destroyed my life in every way possible, before a truly horrible discard. Remember , especially with a Covert narc, that the good traits in you will attract a narc. Because they don't posses those traits, or the ability to cultivate them. And the person they presented to you wasn't a real person. Only bait, to convince you to care for them. If you are a good trusting person. You wouldn't think of doing anything like that. And therfore, don't typically consider someone else to be doing that to you! Hope you're doing well.
@trilltv15552 жыл бұрын
@@barthk3640 I spent 6yrs and have 2 kids and was engaged and I felt every word they will fuck you up
@cantoon8334 жыл бұрын
Nope not my crazy anymore, but I have to say sitting back and watching has been interesting. It makes me so thankful I’m out and I have really good real life. Watching him live his best fake life makes me feel sad and the new supply has no idea what is coming down the pike at her.
@b.schannell7473 жыл бұрын
That backend hell.. Big price to pay
4 жыл бұрын
I was dating a narcissist for about six months until it started to seem as though everything I did would annoy or anger her. One day I brought to her attention the fact that we weren't getting along like we used to and she blamed me for it. I told her that I felt that our relationship was toxic and I was breaking up with her. Unfortunately, it took an additional six months and a restraining order to get her out of my life completely. Breaking up with a narcissist is a difficult task and you have to do it very carefully.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
That's true, and I'm glad to hear you're out now 🙏❤
@cassiebennet42624 ай бұрын
This is known as calling their bluff. Narcissists need to blame someone for their own self loathing. Once the victim realizes the narcissist seems to hate everything about them they suggest the only sensible thing to do which is end the relationship. The narcissist can't have that. They need a scapegoat. It's really crazy when you think about it. The narcissist needs a person to fill a specific role as human punching bag because they can't face themselves.
@VriendaGanguly4 жыл бұрын
He took her to Dubai and when I was on a trip with him, he was flirting with other women on phone and in hotel and didn't touch me once. He's also told me stories about their intimacy & how kinky they are together.. & expected me to unconditionally love him.
@user-hf6cd7bc7t3 жыл бұрын
U are gorgeous n deserve better
@Karaokejax2 жыл бұрын
Not my circus. Not my monkeys! Fits very well with the conclusion of this.
@christihector36053 жыл бұрын
The new supply lives next door to me. I can hear EVERYTHING that’s going on.
@brittanyb59423 жыл бұрын
😑☹️
@marcoboij3 жыл бұрын
Oh my god
@lovely-eh1bc3 жыл бұрын
Same here 😄😄🤪✌
@cynthiaburlingame8875 Жыл бұрын
Is it bad
@martevanderzee74405 ай бұрын
Are they still together?
@karenk2409 Жыл бұрын
Part of no-contact was removing myself from social media altogether once his smear campaign erupted. Once you do that, they can't get at you. I haven't missed it a whit. I connect via email and in person. This and a protective order keeps him far away from me, howling in the wind. It's a very peaceful place.
@abceedee44884 жыл бұрын
Watching this, I'm convinced that the guy I used to date before is really a narcissist. After such a very small misunderstanding, and not able to lend him money like what I used to before, he left me with a new supply. Did everything we planned with her, leaving me feeling like a garbage 😪😔..until now I am still healing. Please pray for me
@bezet44482 жыл бұрын
Hope you better now
@soloyoutube.2 жыл бұрын
Same happened to me refused to lend him money like usual then he left
@Anna-ro1he Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this Christina. I was in a situationship with my “bestfriend” for 7 years where it was a one sided love from my side. He discarded me last year for someone new he met a month ago. It’s almost a year now and its hard seeing them post and act all loved up. Makes me wonder how come I didnt get that despite me giving him everything, and what does she have that I dont. He took her to our secret spot where we used to meet which I specifically told him not to take her and seeing him take her to our spot in his stories, it broke something in me today. It’s hard and wish the pain would just stop.
@destinysantos19864 жыл бұрын
Currently going through this! My ex boyfriend for 2 years is dating a ex coworker of mine! He brought her over to his family a month after we broke up. He cheated on me numerous times! That is his new supply because she runs right behind him like a sad puppy. He uses her and this confirmed that
@MrIlleism2 жыл бұрын
How did he even get you in the first place? What qualities did you fall for?
@bradmcewen4 жыл бұрын
Imo new supply is just a means to an entitlement of immediate gratification that quickly dissolves. Rinse off, resupply, narc disappointed again. Building object constancy is not possible nor the rewards of it.
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
The narc thinks with each new relationship that maybe they have met the perfect person. They take a snapshot of us in their mind of that perfect person, and from then on they relate to that perfect snapshot of who they believe us to be. Inevitably the new supply ends up disappointing them, and showing them they are not the perfect person who will love them regardless of their horrible behavior.
@bradmcewen3 жыл бұрын
@@brendakauffman2222 The comparison to that "snapshot" does happen early and that's when by any standard one is at their best. Not unrealistic, just well groomed, dressed, etc. Still the suggestions start yet I or we do not return the banter. Its impolite and usually and should be a turn off. It may be why they keep a harem. A little bit of every personality and type. I kinda think the serial cerebral narc can reflect somewhat yet the habituality, probably ingrained from childhood of living on a pedestal has done them more harm than good. But I'm sure that's not their opinion, it's always everyone else inadequacies. But, you do get educated in the early clues not to miss again.
@julienneaquino61762 жыл бұрын
I’m going through it now I don’t have social media but I find myself just trying to find out what’s going on why was I not enough if I gave my all . I’ve just started watching these videos and I’m learning slowly thank you !
@yawnamousaj78563 жыл бұрын
Does anyone else feel like she lived your exact relationship, or is it just me? 95% of what she talks about (only 3-4 videos in), is what I have lived for the past 4.5 years. I'm in disbelief.
@la_rooh3 жыл бұрын
Because all narcissists are following the same pattern that’s why they are so predictable and can easily read them if you look closer!
@brendahoel63694 жыл бұрын
Was married to one for 26 years, and thought his behavior was "normal" until I caught him cheating. Then he turned everything back on me. I think I watched a different video of yours that described this. His new supply is so different from me. They do all the things I wanted to do with him, but never got to do. I LOVE the way you describe the new supply as a "pawn." Thank you for breaking this down in terms that I can understand.
@kimhennessee74654 жыл бұрын
Brenda Hoel I was married for 21 years to a narcissist. In less than 3 months had new pawn. In less than 6 months had bought a house together. I am pretty sure he was cheating on me cuz before we split he accused me of cheating. I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until later. But just wanted to comment that my ex and his new pawn are traveling around and going to places I wanted to go but we never did. Now I’m thinking he only held back traveling to hurt me cuz it was what I wanted to do. Now he is trying to hurt me by doing it with his new pawn. Maybe that’s what is happening to you too.
@lorabor89674 жыл бұрын
Same here Brenda, after 26 yrs, finally filed for divorce. I did not know this term narcissist until I threw him out. Thank goodness for these videos, now I know and can move forward. Peace
@funlovinbloke62664 жыл бұрын
What my covert narcissist ex partner does with her life I really don't care anymore. It was one big façade she performed. My ex is also someone who doesn't use social media because she acts 'under the radar'. Otherwise she will be exposed very quickly. It is sad that narcissists keep using (most of the time) honest people who want the best for the other in a relationship. I had a relationship for eight months but it felt in the end as if it was for five years or more. Certainly the last two months. What some experienced during a long life relationship with all the positive and less positive moments, I had them in eight months. I am so happy I have my life back. All it takes is to take a first step. It is your life. Good luck.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you've made it there. It's a great place to be 🙏❤
@angelcakesxXx4 жыл бұрын
My ex has tried to keep it as secret as I can (he’s so sneaky) so he can try and keep me on the side as well - the new supply is someone I was cautious of when we were together and ended up being the reason we broke up because he thought I was ‘too paranoid and untrusting’ - I’m sure he is a narc but then little doubts creep in and I worry that maybe he isn’t and maybe it was just me 😭 maybe they will be happier 💔 I’m so glad I listened to my intuition but Jesus this hurts. 💔
@markolukic64493 жыл бұрын
Im absolutely shocked and happy at the same time that I had found your work. Spot on, same scenario. I was destroyed emotionally and mentally for almost 8 months. Really really tough path. But I never stopped working on myself.
@expandhealthinc.18873 жыл бұрын
Good job!! Hope you are doing even better now❤
@BC-dm5bi4 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this. My soon to be ex husband's new Girlfriend is posting their happy couple pics all over SM. We've only been separated for 2 mos after 25 years of marriage and manipulation by a covert narc. Today was the first day I haven't cried. He's basically reliving our life, our haunts, our favorite places and activities with his new supply..
@MrsYoung-in9ov4 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry. Check out Rejoice Marriage Ministries or Standers United for another page that’s helped me.
@amyw42163 жыл бұрын
That makes me sad. I hope you are doing better now.
@BC-dm5bi3 жыл бұрын
@@amyw4216 much better!
@amyw42163 жыл бұрын
@@BC-dm5bi Glad to hear it!💕
@angelicamaster13242 жыл бұрын
I’m writing this a year later and went through exactly the same thing this year. Social media is his playground and he just married his affair partner. I’ve been learning about NPD for 6 months and I’m finally letting go of the trauma bond. Bottom line: the new supply is with HIM! I know him and he’s moody and an alcoholic with sex/porn addictions. I’d never wish to be in her place. She wanted him so bad,,,,, she won! 🤣
@thepoetrylover99644 жыл бұрын
No they don't. I was a new supply and it was so terrible. It has scarred me for life.
@CynthiaAva29 күн бұрын
Me, too. I realize now he found me shortly after he was dumped by a long term relationship. He still spoke about her when we first started dating. He even went out to a concert with her and his sister in our first month or two of seeing each other. Now I realize, he was probably doing that to make her jealous or show her up. They are always seeking revenge.
@sandybroderick29323 жыл бұрын
OH MY.....I wish I could hug you right now. Together 32 yrs and he left me for a girl 2 years older than his 1st born! I am just now beginning to recognize how narcissistic he is. I needed to hear this so much! Thank you for the validation! xxx
@sylviaking88663 жыл бұрын
It is just a matter of time before the new supply is being treated as badly as you were during the discard.
@warriorempathshealingfromn56254 жыл бұрын
The narc ex in my life took up with a woman who lives just down the hall from me, so I have a front row seat to their antics. I'm thinking the first discard should be coming soon but this woman is so needy that she will suffer anything and everything to keep him. Starting to pop the popcorn as this is going to be a doozy.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
It's such a great feeling when you can sit back with the popcorn because it means they're out of your life ❤🙏
@warriorempathshealingfromn56254 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo Yes it is. I've been enjoying the lies they're putting out. I also just saw him as I was walking to a friends apartment next to the new supply, and he turned and watched me walk down the hall for a few moments. They are so predictable and they totally underestimate us
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
@@warriorempathshealingfromn5625 so incredibly predictable!
@aquariusrising70194 жыл бұрын
Ugh, I'd move. Even if it doesn't bother you, why would one want to remain in the same physical proximity as a narc. They're like a black cloud hovering.
@warriorempathshealingfromn56254 жыл бұрын
@@aquariusrising7019 Yes, I should but my 92 year old father has an apartment here and that is why I am still here. This narc is nefarious and he has many flying monkeys here. I have been harassed, verbally attacked by these individuals and as of Sunday I realized that he has manipulated a mentally disabled woman to use a key for my apartment that went missing about a month and a half ago to come into my apartment when I'm gone. This woman has stole 2 debit cards from me in 2 seperate episodes. My inhaler and some hand cream went missing about a month ago and the inhaler suddenly appeared in plain site on Saturday night. I had my new debit card on Friday evening and on Sunday when I was out I noticed it was gone. This woman has been going in when I am doing laundry and or when I am at my dads or visiting a friend in the building. Locks were changed yesterday, I called the police when I noticed the new card missing again but of course I am not believed by the police but they took the report and suggested I get a order of protection and management has now assured me that I can brake the lease under these circumstances. It certainly is unfair that I need to move again because of this asshole and his flying monkeys but I am looking and tying to figure out what the best answer is for me. I feel violated and they are not using the debit cards they are doing this to play mind games and keep me unbalanced. My father is unwilling to move so even if I move I will have return almost daily to make sure he is ok. These narcs are sick, sick SICK.
@MonicaSancio4 жыл бұрын
Great explanation of THE TRAP that they are trying to bait you in, exactly! "All in your face" is what stings the most. Yet like you say, Cristina, be thankful you are not in that, you've been there before... You can walk away! Absolutely. Thank you for the reminder, and the importance of cutting any emotional connections to them & their crazy ; )
@LaShawnDenise2 ай бұрын
I begged and he promised for two years that we’d go on vacation together, he ended it in March after going on a vacation he hid from me, with another woman. Now they look so happy on social media. Keep asking why wasn’t I worth it? Why couldn’t we ever travel together but this woman he claims to have “just met” was instantly given it.
@therealnonajones4 жыл бұрын
This is so interesting. I was in a relationship with someone who, from watching your videos, was an ABSOLUTE covert narcissist, and I would block them on my social accounts so I could detox from them, but they would get so angry and challenge me on why I did that as if it was so unreasonable and immature. I would eventually unblock them after feeling bad, but they didn’t necessarily follow me. It was like they just wanted access to me and my life. And now that I have seen these videos, I realize they wanted to stay in my line of sight in order to stay on my mind, even if I wasn’t on theirs.
@AsheepAtthewheel1014 ай бұрын
Wow! Thank you for this! 9 months after decades of marriage the ex covert narc is seeing someone else....who I know. I actually predicted the exact union. The great news is I don't care!! Other than I feel sorry for the new Supply she's very nice and was in a vulnerable state just out of a relationship which is the typical M O for the narcissist right on schedule. I am sad for the new supply. However the new Supply is very good friends with my best friend which is going to cause some tensions and for me to react. But I am not going to! This is proof I am healing!! I know who she is. All of it more than she does. I am out and happy to be out! Woo hoo! The malignant covert narc with secondary phycopothy is on the loose....I am moving on! Mic drop...oh other than my court case against her for the abuse. You gotta do what you gotta do.
@FUBS0503 Жыл бұрын
And unfortunately, my children are the long-term victims of this.
@vikkiLH774 жыл бұрын
This is so true . I’m not on social media and live in a totally different city - so he had no way , for months , of rubbing the new girlfriend in my face . 6 months after getting with her - he must have been desperate for me to see her or know her name . Which I never ever wondered or cared about . Then WHAM an email AND a what’s app on the same night .... ( new number obviously) ramming her name and face into my life when I’d not even spoken to him for months and was no contact . As I type that - it’s so obvious reading it what he was trying to do . It came with a cleverly written email , crafted to look like a response . Begging me not to break them up !?! I had not even contacted him and knew nothing of her ?!?? I couldn’t tell you if they’re still together or not . What I can tell you is - she was welcomed into his family in a way I was not . I now know that I was isolated from them because he’d told me so many lies about himself I could have said something and his mum or sister would have thought ‘what!??’ He lies from waking to sleeping and it made me go insane . Even faking stories and tears about a selling a house he actually hadn’t owned for many years . Lies lies lies .... I feel sorry for her if she’s still in it ..... because If she is ..... the mask is yet to slip. It slipped fast with me because I started answering back . Started questioning lies . Didn’t match to his beat ( said no to a marriage proposal in week 3). As I type this ...... I am in no doubt that I was dealing with a very needy , disordered , manipulative individual. I was just clever enough to know it . I came of my pedestal fast . The new girlfriend has much higher to fall than me ........ I hope she’s okay and isn’t sat there now absolutely wringing her hands or taking daily abuse and stalking . My being stalked stopped abruptly. Because she arrived as fresh supply . How can I possibly be wrong that this guy is a narcissist. And narcissists DO NOT CHANGE. Even if it’s 6 years from now - I could hear from that lunatic . It only takes for her to shun him for him to open his toy box to see who he can play with . He’s done it before with others before me. Once you’re out . Stay out !!!! Even if it’s years that have passed and they come crawling back . Never bend . 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
@echowalker21534 жыл бұрын
When I'm done I'm done. O don't peek in to see who he's playing for a fool now. The only place he exists is on my phone. Not enough.
@coolitdown4 ай бұрын
My narcissistic ex got married less than four months after I broke up with him. All I can feel is pity for the new supply. Good luck and stay strong, buddy... My guess is the narcissist is now happy to be married so he can start the devaluing phase and this poor guy is now stuck with him.
@robillustrates6949 Жыл бұрын
A great lesson I was taught, what you see on social media is a snapshot of what's really going on. It might only be 10% of the real story. It can also be staged or sending a message rather than a real reflection of that dynamic/experience.
@lieslleora10853 жыл бұрын
You can get 'hooked' by them. It is the promise, of how good the first time they 'love bombed' you was, ...back when you believed they were this amazing person, & you believed the love was pure. Now you realized they have this hidden agenda & they are lying to you, to take your life from you, to consume you for themselves. ...but the 'love bomb' phase is such a good feeling experience, & it is really emotionally devastating when the dawning of this understanding happens ...like, wait my love for them is so real, ...so does this mean, they were just 'playing me' ...it hurts & I think because we wish it WAS real, we can get hooked back when we see them love bombing another person. It hurts & it hurts worse to get 'hoovered' back into their warped reality. So just remind yourself that you are watching this narcissistic person 'love bomb' their next 'trick' 😬 ...because you were their most recent trick, it isn't 'real' with a narcissist, they were not showing you real love, they aren't showing this new person real love... because they don't know how to really love.
@jeninegovendee58413 жыл бұрын
I’ve been in such a bad space for the past month but watching your videos have helped me so much, I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere. You are amazing. Thank you ❤️
@levashneereddy5388 Жыл бұрын
Any update?
@Marshall-uy2dv10 ай бұрын
They treat them better temporarily. My narc ex-wife had trouble keeping a relationship when she dated locally, so she started doing long-distance relationships. That way they don't have time to really get to know her and that way the relationship lasts longer! It's easier to keep the mask on when you only see someone on weekends.
@jellyofthefish25303 жыл бұрын
I remained "friends" with my nacisist, and she would text me saying for example "hey I'm talking about alchemy with my new partner, what do you think about the subject" or "hey, whats the name of that movie that you always talked about? We're looking for something to see". Everytime she did that it hurt me so much. At the beginning I thought that I was getting triggered too easily but now I realize that it was really fcked up...
@chellebelle1970 Жыл бұрын
sounds like she was trying to make you jealous & hurt you. With my ex narc-my pain was his pleasure
@femakampfcounselor84664 жыл бұрын
...but, I want to see suffering-and not mine 😡 The head games are the worst.
@blissbased3 жыл бұрын
They suffer under the radar or to get supply. They boast to prove to the world that they're good enough.
@DMinam3 жыл бұрын
I so needed to hear this just ended a 4.5 year relationship hoping this person would change... but obviously can’t. Still it has left a painful hole in my life
@hayleycrawford27844 жыл бұрын
A guy I had been falling for was acting for two years as if he was in love with me. I found out in August of last year that he had married a woman younger than me over the summer, and yet at a party, he kept lurching after me while his new wife was less than five feet away. I was beyond devastated when I learned he had married her behind my back. My self esteem took a major dive into the gutter. Now he won't acknowledge me. It was as if he is pretending he never did anything to me. He acts as if she is the sweetest angel he has ever found in his life. He even dedicated a song to her at the party that day. How could he do this to me? Does he really love her? He only stopped acknowledging me until after he got caught by me and I was onto his little game. I can't help but feel envious of her. It's been five months now since my heart was dashed on a rock, and I feel like I can't trust any man.
@456j73 жыл бұрын
I guarantee he's doing the same thing to her, in a different way
@moiv7792 жыл бұрын
This is so much like what's happening to me right now. I came to know about his marriage on the 28th of Dec 2021 when I visited his home. I was hurt and cried a lot from that day onwards. It seemed like I never existed at all. I was not even able to properly focus on my office work also. It seemed like I somehow died already. The only difference is that I never met him again after I came to learn about it. And, it is now about 2 weeks since I deleted his contact no.from my mobile phone since I don't want to remember him anymore. And now, I am beginning to feel a lot better slowly everyday.
@d1964e4 жыл бұрын
She thought I was going to stick around when she broke off our 3 year relationship due to claiming that she met someone new. I just said ok and moved to the other side of town. You won't get the chance to flaunt your new supply in my face. I said good luck, and it wasn't for her but, for him. The narc is done when you're done!
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
No the narc usually is not done when you are done. I broke off the relationship with the narc "friend". She had made things abundantly clear by upping her behavior because I was calling her to accountability for her behavior. She began the gaslighting in Ernest ( which confirmed in my mind who she was and what she was doing). She lied to someone else committing me to something I told her I hadn't agreed to and thought I'd simply go along with that. When I didn't, she began to play more games, and started taking credit for things I made, and when I called her out publicly, she saw rage. I handed her back something we were doing together ( which she was using to gaslight) and that made her angry. She tried and tried to get me to assist again. She has been hoovering ever since, trying and trying with apologies and gifts to express her well intentions for me, and her well wishes for me. I'm not falling for it.
@ericxb Жыл бұрын
“My life is over here and it’s good.” 🤠
@jcherry6644 жыл бұрын
OMG!!! I give this video 200% 👍 You are so right about all of this. People beware.
@Vashti08253 жыл бұрын
It was in my face, clear as day what was going on. It hurt, I was confused. This was a year ago before I was afraid to confront. Now, I couldn't give a shit. I am no longer following the herd, no longer tied to anybody's expectations.
@djpatt81 Жыл бұрын
A narcissist never stops narcissistic traits when going new supply the narcissist observes their character type finding weaknesses where they could take control there they may alter narcissistic behavior rhythm and if they reconnect also previous source they usually try control both and play both against the other using both different character traits using demoralizing traits and gossip weaknesses it’s awful I had this with a ex partner and tried reconnecting as a friend thought it would work ok but it was awful he used to say his girlfriend is very lazy he was very heavily critical of her. He did same about me to her it wasn’t pleasant it’s very difficult to deal with that bombshell of the other. It was difficult to be friends with his girlfriend or his girlfriend to be friends with me but I was good with mindfulness I actually ignored his patronizing behavior play off his girlfriend was a good person she could cook good meals she wasn’t lazy she was had a mental disorder that she fear going out. I looked upon her from my own observance not his I see her differently from his version and could see clearly he was targeting a weaknesses area twisted it nature
@TD401INGA5 ай бұрын
Been through the trauma, but have a 3.5 yr old daughter, that I am “allowed” to spend time with. Mind you, my ex is already in a new relationship ; less than a month after moving out. She told me that if I file for time sharing that she’ll destroy me and tell the courts that she isn’t sure our daughter is mine, which would take months to prove. I truly believe that as narcissists age, they actually move into psychotic mental instability.
@xobeautybytori1404 жыл бұрын
I can’t tell you how much this video helped me 💗 thank you
@louv82142 жыл бұрын
This video is probably the best video I’ve ever seen about the situation. I wish I would’ve seen it last night when I saw social media. I couldn’t sleep all night but this has really put it into perspective. Thank you
@sarahjohnson85144 жыл бұрын
Nope. I would also add that if their spouse left them, the next person would be treated worse.
@Spramele4 жыл бұрын
That’s a pretty green top! You look good. It sure seems like they’re treating them better. Taking them out and spending money on them. Supply
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
Thank you ❤
@kristinej.41822 жыл бұрын
So well explained! Thank you so much! I am recovering from my recent discard and it’s so hard to deal with the fact that I’ve been deceived and my ex narc is supposedly happy with his new supply. Now I have a better understanding. 🙏
@LauraHernandez-nx6rw4 жыл бұрын
The narc made a lot of plans with me. To travel and go scuba diving or go on his motorcycle with him cross country. We visited Vegas once and he would always refer back to that trip as one of our best times and that we should go back and elope. I could sense the discard was coming and I triggered him by calling him out so he ghosted me and then went to Vegas and eloped with his new supply 4 months later after taking her to the across country bike trip and scuba trip to Thailand. Yea he absolutely replaced me. And I couldn't be more grateful!
@kirstygreenwood16553 жыл бұрын
Wow! 😮 I wish I’d of come across these videos 3 months ago would of saved me many many tears!! My ex who after watching these is most certainly a narcissist left me 3 times in the 14 months we were together, 3rd time she didn’t come back (which I thank the lord for every day) within two weeks she was with someone else and it was all over social media, telling each other they loved each other a week later 🙄 absolute madness!! Your trauma bond video also hit home to me and I still show a lot of signs of still having a trauma bond but your videos have definitely come to me at the exact time, the universe has been my biggest support throughout this time and I have no doubt they guided me to you ❤️🌎💫 thank you!
@CJA32able3 жыл бұрын
It is irrelevant how they are treating others, block them on social media, don’t keep up with what they are doing. Get them out of your life for good.
@qkrownme8 ай бұрын
So thankful to have watched this video. I am currently going through all of this ! The narcissist has married the new supply within 2 mths of us breaking up.
@Chanelle2473 ай бұрын
Are they still together now? (Probably not lol)
@juneingram6694 жыл бұрын
Wow I just come across your channel and it's helped me so much , I have removed myself from all mine and his mutual Facebook groups but people still tell me about what he is posting with all his new women. Like you say it's a crazy game that I don't need to take part in because I am much more high value than that train wreck
@ronaldculley9 ай бұрын
Good luck, Rocky! You are warned.
@laurastokes47774 жыл бұрын
I had a musician in my life who wanted me to live in his house that needed a lot of work and be all right with having other women in his life I and another friend of his left because we did not want to be bullied into working on his run down house and berated I was emotionally devastated even though I chose to go. When I came to visit a few weeks later I saw I was easily replaced by some starry eyed young girl who ended up learning the hard way of his true characture.....Talent and beautiful songs and melodies and fame on the outside to lure and an autharitarion and philandering. and bombastic reality. He would always call me or come to see me when things were falling apart for him through the years He once told me I was one of the great loves of his life I responded by retorting Oh yeah...in a cast of thousands He looked wounded
@robertschultz98924 жыл бұрын
If I didn't know it or feel it at the time, when I was discarded for a recycle, but the lower value replacement did me a favor. You nailed it again Christina. What a Trainwreck to watch....😁🚂
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
It's true. It's like a weight off!
@tonydenial14853 жыл бұрын
Dead right there Robert !!
@pollybrock22392 жыл бұрын
I love it!!! this is my favorite video. Without Christina I would be a mess,, whenever I’m sad I watch this video and the karma video and it gets me right out of my depression. Everything she says is right to the T
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
OK, serious question. How many times do I say crazy in this video? 😅❤🙏 *Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
@robertschultz98924 жыл бұрын
I counted 6 "crazies".
@Alpinewild4444 жыл бұрын
Common Ego you can never say it enough when it comes to these people! 😥😊
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
That's it.... I'm going for 10 next time 🤣🤣🤣
@Mike-xt2lh4 жыл бұрын
@@Alpinewild444 Lol true narcissist are very crazy .
@Alpinewild4444 жыл бұрын
Mike when you realize it never was you, all along, it was them!
@jamdeguzman15202 жыл бұрын
I just found out that my ex is already in a relationship 🤣 weeks after we broke up, but I don't know why I cried 😂 maybe it's tears of anger hahaha 🤣🤣🤣 but literally deep inside of me I can finally say" I am fully aware now that it's the narcissist pattern" maybe his new supply thinks that she hit a jackpot but actually she found a piece of sh*t hahaha 😂😂 I feel stronger now because I am moving on without using someone , while him being in a new relationship right away so he don't have to deal with the heartache hahaha 😂😂 such a coward 🤣
@levashneereddy5388 Жыл бұрын
Any update?
@blessedsenior14294 жыл бұрын
We live in the same Apt Complex, he started dealing with a new supply who lives on the same floor that I live on, so I see them regularly. It was difficult at first, but after the past three months of studying and following Narcissist videos I've grown much stronger. I know now what really happened and what is happening now. Thanks for this video !
@kevinjanghj3 жыл бұрын
At one point in time, the old supply was a new supply. The current new supply of the narcissist is not the first and definitely will not be the last.
@thewordsage4 жыл бұрын
They really believe their own nonsense, dont they? I'm so glad I'm out of this. I just feel sorry for the new supply now.
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
They really do. And it's usually not until you're out that you see it for what it is. I'm so glad to hear you're out. It's a great place to be! 🙏❤
@thewordsage4 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo you're so right about what it's like to look back on what used to bother me. I can't believe I ever believed a fraction of the crap I took at face value. Never again that's for sure!
@CommonEgo4 жыл бұрын
These are tough lessons, but there's SO much you can learn. Despite it all, I'm thankful for the experience 🙏❤
@brendakauffman22223 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo Sometimes I think you have to interact with multiple ones before you truly recognize the red flags cause each narc. really does present differently. My take now is, if someone is treating me in a way that is causing me stress or distress, whether it is intentional, non intentional, because of childhood abuse, or whatever I need to give them a wide birth and allow them to be responsible for healing themselves. Once I see patterns that are causing distress, even from someone who's been a friend for a long time ( they often don't treat tertiary sources really badly, they reserve this for primary and secondary sources), you believe what they are showing you and allow them to be responsible for their own healing. If you happen to be a tertiary source, and then they move you to a primary or secondary source, that is when they begin to mistreat you. Another friend and I see this pattern in two friendships where it all was fairly ok until primary or secondary sources were removed and they moved us into that role.