Communicating for Connection over Appearance

[@orquideacastillonajera]

Beautiful ❤

[@dennismorris7573]

As a former professor, I can totally relate and agree completely with your point.

[@inner-architecture]

I can imagine it shows up a lot in this realm, both with students and professors/administrators. in fact, it’s hard to imagine a realm where it doesn’t show up very often.

[@nicholascorliss]

Great video, thanks for sharing!

[@ablanccanvas]

I also realize this is about ‘encouraging/allowing’ the ‘holding of space’ for ‘participation’ for deep connection. 😌♥️👍🏽✨🇨🇦

[@kickitlikekirra]

Wow,that is an EXCELLENT point! At the beginning of the video, I was already thinking of somebody I wanted to send this to (who is on the more reserved side, who often abstains from life), but when you mentioned the chattier end of the spectrum, I recognized that this message is for me as well. 😅🤭🙏 It's true, it's easy to get carried away on delivering what I believe is to be worthwhile information, advice, or insight, but with no connection, or if the connection is lost along tbe way, it's pretty much wasted time for both parties. 😬 Youch, I will be thinking about and immediately applying this lesson! Thank you for how you presented it; it hit home for me.

[@inner-architecture]

I’m so glad it resonates. It also hits home for me mostly on the “chattier” side as well, and I love that the same message can also unite the full spectrum…from shy to boisterous, it comes down to connection and feeling seen/heard on both sides.

[@Larstig81]

The appearance is a thing, but with a connection the appearance will change for the better. With no or bad connection it will be the other way around.

[@Благослов-ч9р]

I don't get how you don't get views on these stuff

[@inner-architecture]

🙏🏼

[@trajectory7235]

I don't understand. Like, it makes sense but I personally don't understand how to form a connection woth someone. I'm on either end of the spectrum. Is it just about balancing listening and sharing?

[@inner-architecture]

Balancing listening and sharing is a huge part of building connection with someone (or a group of people). When it comes to listening, a big part is to listen for common ground or curiosity instead of “listening to respond”. By this, I mean that you listen to find those bridges of commonality, or things that you would like to understand more about the person in front of you. (sometimes I find myself trying to seem smart or competent instead of really trying to learn more about the person I’m speaking with.) And to be clear, it’s not about removing ourselves completely from a conversation. But it IS about developing a deep sense of curiosity about the other person, and bringing that curiosity into the discussion. One thing that may help is something called the meta-perspective, and this requires some self-awareness on our side. It involves observing our own thoughts and (if fitting) speaking them out loud as a way of sharing a view inside of our own head. For example, maybe I find something that someone said interesting but also confusing. Instead of just nodding and smiling, I could observe that confusion and ask a question like: “ I’m really interested in what you just said, but I find myself also confused. Can you share more about that?” Often it is very simple questions like this that open the doors for deeper connection. Out of curiosity, do you have any specific questions or examples of how you would like to connect better?