COMPLEX PTSD (CPTSD) AND WHY WE ISOLATE

If you have a difficult time truly letting people in, being highly triggered by others or if you tend to be someone who isolates from others ---and you had a complicated childhood relationship with your caregivers or environment or CPTSD (Complex PTSD) --you might use isolation to manage your life and relationships.
From passive avoidance or low key isolating, even when in relationships, to only feeling safe alone or with pets or kids, Complex PTSD (CPTSD) can impact how we regulate ourselves and triggers, how people trigger us, and how our inner and outer critic can sabotage connection, vulnerability and relationships with ourselves and others.
This videos is about 5 of the most common reasons we isolate, especially with CPTSD histories...
xo
**********FREE COURSE ON ASSESSING CHILDHOOD WOUNDS AND FREE CHECKLIST: NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS. www.drsagehelp.com
www.drkimsage.com
@drkimsage
Dr. Kim Sage

[@mrsandmom5947]

I’ve been terribly hurt during my life and being alone is comforting to me. I love being alone.

[@Wishpool]

That's exactly my experience, too.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Same here. However there is always a double edged sword in self isolating. It causes us to become even more socially awkward when we are around people. I barely know how to even talk to people anymore and what comes out of my mouth makes me feel even more self conscieous and embarrassed.

[@edwinlipton]

Ya gotta get hurt to find you really love yourself most! Everyone does. Your not diffrent.

[@edwinlipton]

@@reesedaniel5835 well take it from a former wannabe casa nova,, I found that i couldnt talk either,,, stage frieght from NEED to be liked and failure scared the crap outta me. Thats no longer a problem now,, I learned that I am MY BEST FRIEND and never needed the ones I caught cause in reality,,, they really didnt need me either. They and I found it awkward in a crowed BECAUSE we thought we were supposed too be with someone to be,,,, "NORMAL?"

[@TheRainman444]

@@reesedaniel5835 who cares I dont want to be around people I’m not self conscious at all !

[@ootenyafoo6935]

"Do you hate people?” “I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around." - Charles Bukowski

[@riverd537]

RIP Hank Chinaski xo

[@offintonebula]

Funny you should post this here. I've been thinking of this quote a lot lately.

[@erinnelson434]

"I try very hard to not hate people. I prefer them at a certain distance so that I can love them properly". Erin Nelson

[@Adrian_Estando]

“I love humanity, it’s people I can’t stand.” - Woody Allen (I think)

[@opekolina5463]

Almost the same question I was asked at work, by boss, when I was not going to any of work parties - why I don't love people? 😁

[@claudiaharris2873]

I love being alone. The world is exhausting. People are hurtful and untrustworthy.

[@user-tp8dw1xr9n]

I don't boring

[@lisalesinszki7536]

I agree completely.

[@thebutterflyreportbyjeffie9220]

It can be very therapeutic.

[@nathantoney.1501]

Me too

[@thebutterflyreportbyjeffie9220]

I hope you are well and safe! Sending you love and blessings! Jeff

[@lioness5953]

I have been alone most of my life. Every time I got involved with other people they took advantage of me and betrayed me. I stopped being around people in 2008 and I'm completely happy and content. I live simply and always with animals. I go out about 1 time per month to pick up supplies. I have most things delivered. I am at peace.

[@Saltysweetpea4769]

❤

[@user-xr4iq7kq1k]

I even got rid of my animals no pets🎉

[@maureenlewis4300]

I can't depend or trust anyone. But my dog Sammy. Who I know loves me. And that's good enough

[@artskiwendy]

It as if they know we ARE BROKEN AND Weak but MY KINDNESS IS NOT WEAKNESS

[@dawnpickard1052]

Me to

[@robertafierro5592]

To me, isolating myself is necessary. Isolation means safety to me!

[@debra6513]

AMEN❤️

[@Jismysis]

It’s the ptsd part - when my dad raged I went to my room and closed the door for safety, I still do it

[@pixiewings21_9]

Same. My favourite saying of late is: People are dangerous (I mean emotionally). The older I get, the more sensitive to other people I have become. Their moods affect me and I find myself becoming quite overwhelmed. I also find it hard not to assume that things aren't my fault, like perhaps my co-worker is in a mood because I've done something wrong - and I know that sounds mad. My small home is my sanctuary - but it's also lonely 😞

[@giama7618]

Isolating is a form of spending more time with yourself and knowing thyself.

[@jonmills5097]

100 percent feel you 😢sending love ❤

[@thebutterflyreportbyjeffie9220]

I grew up in an abusive family on a dairy farm where not only was I abused, mentally, physically, but also worked 7 days a week, 365 days a year without any compensation,except, ‘the roof over my head,’ trope; which I heard almost daily. There were no social activities, no going to dances, proms, ball games, school activities, sports or church…just work and being screamed at and berated. Fast forward to 3 years ago and now my parents were elderly and needed help, so I stepped up to the plate and did my part, only to witness my father shoot himself in the head in my presence, as my mom was hospitalized. She had severe dementia and we moved her into our home for a year and a half until her death from Covid. I isolate. I live on acreage and feeding and helping animals has been my refuge, as well as, meditation. There are no easy solutions. No drugs, semi-interested therapists or bored psychiatrists ever helped. Giving of myself, staying to myself and helping others when I can has been my salvation. I love all of you who read this…you’re not alone. ❤❤❤

[@teamplayer2889]

❤❤❤

[@dreaoca]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that but thank you for sharing. This is inspiring ❤

[@rhondarudkin8863]

Wow. You've earned your isolation, to put it mildly. I'm glad you have your refuge🙏🏻💕

[@NuGrungeMetal]

I’m sorry to hear and you’re inspiring. I hope you are well and I wish you much strength in this journey that is life. Take care, Bro.

[@khsartdnab877]

You’re amazing and so strong. Wow.. this really moved me..

[@phoenixrisin2269]

I love my solitude; I’m finally in good company

[@user-pb2vo4pt3t]

I self isolate deliberately because I'm tired of being stabbed in the back over 40 years! I gave up entirely at 49! Almost 8 years later, I have NO regrets. Yes, some days are lonely, but I cannot take any more abuse in any of it's forms.

[@j.k.6089]

Thanks!

[@user-pc3eb8gs5y]

Agree😊

[@dawncrawford9159]

I am close to staying in the house FOREVER. It’s much safer ~ thanks 😘

[@user-pc3eb8gs5y]

Me too man had lost sincerity to his fellow man!

[@11lvr11]

I understand you

[@bojanalukic8515]

To me, isolating myself doesn't mean I'm depressed. I paint, read interesting books, play sudoku and watch whatever interests me on KZbin. I realized that I don't want to force myself into socializing after which I feel worse than before. I am 57 years old and my mood is more and more precious to me.

[@luisdireito]

@Caroline Hudson Sudoku is literally the easiest game to learn. You have a 9x9 square, and you must fill it with numbers from one to nine in each horizontal and vertical line, and in each of the nine smaller 3x3 squares, but no repeated numbers are allowed.

[@TimeIdle]

I feel the same way, but I wonder if I can change my perspective about the other people. I don't want them to affect me so much that I want to be away from them because as much as we think we're self-sufficient, people do need people.

[@maggieobrien7280]

same with me

[@maggieobrien7280]

@@TimeIdle this past jan i fell and crushed my shoulder and i had to have major surgery! i was in the hospital for 4 days and they said i couldnt go home alone! i said watch me! WELL the next day after the surgery i said there is no way i can do this alone by myself at home! LOL well my daughter and her husband let me stay with them for 2 weeks! i never thought i would need anyone like that because i have taken care of myself since i was 16 years old! never needed anyone! TILL NOW thank god they were there for me

[@whitebirdification]

absoloutely!

[@PippyPan]

My biggest struggle with this is society insisting that it's bad to be alone. Honestly, I've never felt more comfortable in my life. I live with 4 cats and a dog. We are full. ❤️

[@ellenewaskowitz5448]

Society is wrong about a lot of things.

[@anndra1160]

Beautifully said! 😊

[@jignavadher1586]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@kaynock1585]

I love that.

[@charlottesghost2845]

SAME! Why is it that we are we expected to cohabitat w anyone else?

[@AuroRapsody1122]

OMG, I finally found the group of people, who enjoy isolation as much as I do! We should have a social media group of our own!

[@Georgiaredfern]

We definitely should I’ve been alone for six years now - just me and eight dogs. I got too traumatised by other people and that is why I live in isolation.

[@donnamariesiracusa6687]

It’s not too late for each of us to be supportive & a strong force for others living similar lifestyles.

[@DJ-nk4dq]

Having a social group goes contrary to wanting to isolate from others

[@Georgiaredfern]

@@DJ-nk4dq But you would never actually meet the other group members. That is why I would like it.

[@brera2434]

Yes, let's isolate together 😂❤

[@anthonyt219]

When you have pets, you're not alone or don't feel alone. I feel like it makes up for lack of social contact. I work full time and always get burnt out from rude people or too much social contact. Being alone can be healing to the mind. Gives you time to process and wind down

[@ronjon7942]

I can’t imagine life without my pups. They’re quite actually the last living creatures I have in my life. I am lonely, and while I’m used to being alone, I don’t like it. However, I’ve made it a bit difficult - I don’t require many friends and don’t like crowded venues with people I only have a superficial relationship with. I really want just a single friend I can invest my energy on - I know this may sound selfish or I have an entitlement or superiority complex; I assure you, the opposite is more accurate. But it is extraordinarily hard to find that single person, even more so because I’m alone most of the time. Ergo, my pups. I pour my heart and soul into them, I love them so much. And even though they’re mainly jonesin’ for treats, they also give a lot of love back.

[@JB52520]

@@ronjon7942 this one has a dog. it had two before its wife left, but the other was hers to begin with. its dog has a pretty good life, and others look after him when it can't.

[@clicheguevara5282]

EXACTLY. I live on an island and work from home, so I'm only around humans for a few hours a week ....but I'm with my cats 24/7. I never feel lonely.

[@sheilacaddell6009]

One thing I have noticed is that most people interact loudly and rudely with one another in total indifference to those of us who get sensory overload all around. It's obvious that they don't care to consider and/or they do it purposely! It took me forever to not hold it against them but we are all simply different from one another.

[@Nina52117]

Living alone is the greatest gift I gave myself, I am at peace, I get to do whatever I want, and I am safe ❤

[@refreshingtwist]

Same!!!!

[@cassandrax1512]

It's so wonderful to feel safe alone at home. 💜

[@lesliecano4963]

I guess there are a ton of us who have been so terrorized that we now live so in fear of violence that we’d rather die alone. Very sad state of society.

[@MassMultiplayer]

same! not dating women save me so much money, i love being safe and alone

[@redbone8844]

Same here and I love it 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I can hear more without all the distractions I use to have Around me!!!

[@Shines-On]

The biggest thing that resonated with me is ( I’m paraphrasing), “If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust?!!”

[@esperanzamunoz2725]

Exactly!

[@michellethelightworker5271]

OR YOU OWN CHILD!!!!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!😪

[@michaelmckenna9022]

God did bless me with a wonderful wife. She doesn't like other people around either. We have no kids just cat. I have a sister that is extremely jealous of me and destroyed my reputation with the rest of the family. My wife doesn't talk to her family either. We have our own little utopia. I do like meeting people when I'm abroad. Foreigners are much more compassionate and understanding than Americans.

[@PraveenSriram]

@@michaelmckenna9022 I’m sorry to hear your sister tried to spoil your life but so glad you remained strong 💪

[@user-ty2xv6xw8j]

Exactly 💯

[@marksurval2410]

When you have been bullied and hurt throughout your life it’s natural to avoid those unsafe situations, as you described.

[@adalouellis5706]

I'm 63 years old. I tire easily these days. I also like to read. Being alone with my cats is amazing for me. When people do come by, I find myself making excuses to lie down and I usher my guests to the door. I work with mentally ill adults Mon-Fri. and I have to tone down right after work. I love my job but I love my books more. I love my cats more than that. I feel better with myself alone. I dig helping others, but I definitely have avoidance behaviors. My childhood was horrific.

[@DN-wy3ud]

I'm isolating because I'm trying to heal in peace. No judgement, no expectations, no wasting energy. I can't deal with anyone at all, I need to channel all my energy into trying to recover from decades of abuse.

[@bubullibooooo9928]

You took the words out of my mouth ❤

[@astridparker8544]

Me too

[@nick8252]

Best thing to do! Wish I would of isolated decades ago! I'm loving it ❤️ Its impossible to fully heal while being around people. Most are abusers in some way.

[@HeidiAmericanPatriot]

@@nick8252 omg yes. Sadly, I know you're right when you say most are abusers in some way. The worst ones are the ones that pretend to be your friend while they talk about you behind your back.

[@shaniecegullison]

Same

[@gaykid80]

I’ve been hurt and let down by people, friends, ex partners so many times. At 42 I feel inadequate, alone, with a crappy job which embarrasses me, with no friends and no family nearby. I prefer isolation in order to avoid comparisons with other people’s lives. Isolation is safe and reassuring. There is no sense of competition. I go to work each day, come home and enjoy my own company and books. That’s enough.

[@silverdale3207]

Yep I work by myself and live by myself ( due to being widowed), closest neighbour is 1 km away, and I still feel like I don't have enough alone time. I don't have any social media either despite my friends trying to get me on it, as like you I avoid comparing my life to others.

[@wendikl7179]

I can relate to striving to get enough alone time!

[@kimberlychilstrom6888]

I couldnt have said it better ..! Feel the same !

[@virginiahobby3726]

Italoazonzo, Romans 10:8-15

[@8thhousealchemist600]

Come hang with me in Las Vegas.

[@patriciaanndemello4652]

I often isolate in public. I like being alone in a coffee shop, people watching. It's enough for me. I can get my people fix without the burden of dealing with many personalities. I have a handful of friends that I see 3 times a year.

[@blackwingvalleylover]

I'm like this! I read and write at coffee places but rarely socialise 🙂

[@CristiandlfDeval]

I got diagnosed with cptsd since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@Ronkaja]

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

[@SusanaGomez-mp8sk]

YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@FrankMorrison-vu2kc]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@MariaHernandez-mb3qz]

I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them again, either. I wish there was a good, organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.

[@AndrewLiam-lp5cj]

Yes he ships discreetly got mine shipped here in Norway 🇳🇴

[@memdy7452]

Because of childhood trauma; I isolate most of the time. Recently I was at my son's destination wedding. For 3 days it was happy people talking, laughing, dancing, drinking, and dining...and all I ever wanted to do was get back to my room. I felt so alone and lonely in a group of 90 people. I prefer a party of one; but pets are always welcome!😍

[@user-kp8sx1nh1c]

Disability causes a huge need to isolate. I was born with a deformed eye; mother unwitingly exposed herself to german measels when p.g. with me. That was not her fault. What WAS her fault was her refusal to engage a discussion with me about it. A sister told me the truth. But for 39 years of my life, my mother made sure I paid for that. My happiest place in life was living alone in my own apartment in NY. Mother found a way to destroy all of that. I was glad when she finally died. No contact with any of them. As for pets it's DOGS THAT HAVE KEPT ME ALIVE. Dobermans, Manchester terriers and a beautiful little rescue chihuahua.

[@sharonironman4547]

You sound like me , my son got married yesterday 😢

[@joyful_tanya]

I had to go to a family reunion for my husband's siblings and their families. I quit drinking alcohol 20 years ago and that's all anybody was interested in doing. I was happiest floating around the pool not talking at all. After we got home my sister-in-law asked me about my "resting SAD face". I basically said it has to do with my broken teeth and didn't tell her I was uncomfortable and wanted to be at home instead. I can definitely relate to your comment.

[@user-kp8sx1nh1c]

Two gifts have kept me alive: 1. My dogs and 2. Yeshua, Son of God. I invite you to meet Him. He loves you and He's waiting for you. With Him you need noone else.

[@willmartin1837]

Anyone here ever have a full blown PANIC ATTACKS?? Constantly?? I know it’s a different situation, but trust me.. I’d do anything to make them stop.✌️

[@cmaliziosa6303]

Reading thru the comments, wow I didn’t realize so many other people feel the way I do - comfort, peace & safety in isolation, and it’s a necessity!

[@USMC6976]

How would you know? If we are isolating (avoiding others) then how would you know?

[@JeanneGuarnieri-vs7zn]

Ahhhhh Greg. You are exactly the reason why we isolate 😂

[@USMC6976]

@@JeanneGuarnieri-vs7zn No, but the fact your analytical skills are lacking may be why you need to isolate. Your feelings do not make something true.

[@JeanneGuarnieri-vs7zn]

@@USMC6976 How true! Fortunately for me I do not care about your feelings nor anyone else's. Including mine. I am only interested in truth, direction and goals accomplished for the children I have born. I work best for them as a Ninja. No offense to you whatsoever. I hope whatever good goals you are working on will come true.

[@joycebruhn1346]

It is so different and sad it’s come to this but I say hello to you all ..I worked long hours I was living with people I loved but they ignored me I was around people and alone .. things were missing personal items and money and identity documents I was so agitated I would buy can openers towels kitchen items they would disappear …. It’s just such a bad ten years now I can say isolation love from god and etc I am better off some people are just unkind I love reading writing etc too love my pogo games tv etc

[@BestOffer-ii9ny]

I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

[@FabioPioFersini]

Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health

[@FletcherHackman]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need

[@fakiriayoub8087]

Yes, dr.parassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@ToniMonteroroman]

The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.

[@ElizabethJenny-xu3ky]

Is he on instagram?

[@latinaliz]

Empaths have a need for space, quietness and reflection to re-charge and heal. I isolate intentionally through different stages in my life when I don’t feel fit for human consumption. Thank you for this helpful video. 💛

[@scottbostic3505]

Being let down by those you love/trust truly wreck us for the long haul

[@swannoir7949]

Going thru that now

[@PeteRoberts-sy6ug]

I'm been going through this for the last 12 months. It will be a lifetime scar, I'm slowly getting stronger, its been really difficult I'm praying to come out better on the other side, I know God's there for me and I need to keep being faithful.

[@TraciSeibert]

I was manipulated after my husband died. By his demon bro and his wife. For 22 years I've lived this. I want to die.

[@Ajb897]

Gotta fight this guys It's totally fine to lay low for a weekend, but everyone needs social connection, some laughs, and just human bonding. Maybe your presence in someone else's world helps them Take time for yourself when you need it, but help others too!

[@erin5896]

I love to be alone with nothing but my animals. Or out in nature with my animals. The peace that comes from that is better than anything another person can do or say ❤

[@esperanzamunoz2725]

Absolutely!!

[@lesliethompson4588]

Hell yes!

[@melodydonovan7884]

I agree, people for me are dangerous and erratic. My trust is too fragile in trust. But then I probably expect them to be untrustworthy.

[@shariwidlund5320]

I wholeheartedly agree

[@zozyb1]

Totally agree.

[@darryladams5644]

Isolation brings me a sense of peace and allows me to think clearly. As a result, isolation helps me make better life decisions when I don't have distractions and energy leeches sucking me dry.

[@ckvarnmass]

I am a loner, by nature. I've had some trauma in life, and handled it as best I could. I am proud of myself for overcoming. No one knows exactly how another feels, nor what they have been through. I work with clients, out of my home. The best compliments I have received is when these clients step into my home and feel that it is a safe place and comment how peaceful it is. It makes my heart swell knowing that others feel that peace. It hasn't been easy, the worst is behind me. I am 73 years old, now. Life is good, it is a simple life.

[@Wishpool]

I'm 56, never married. After being hurt so many times in relationships with boyfriends, friends, and family... I really enjoy the peace & comfort of isolation. It feels more stable & safe. I'm still a social butterfly at times, but only in short spurts with people I trust.

[@michellesmith27]

Me too!!

[@kristycannon7923]

I feel the same way!

[@stephenstuart9881]

63 and feel exactly the same way, if marriage works out I don't doubt it's great, but the truth is there are much, much worse things than being alone

[@vampythevampy1711]

Exactly me too . !!!!!

[@glendaruiz2477]

Hugs your way.

[@Rick-or2kq]

Nothing more traumatizing then a nightmare childhood, I know from experience, it leaves you alone even in a world full of people.

[@abri_xxx]

I feel this so much 😢

[@justmejenny7986]

It doesn't have to stay that way. Try counseling. Find your interests and pursue them. Hope things get better for you.

[@Rick-or2kq]

@@justmejenny7986 Thank you.

[@takarirosegamer2.0]

I know that feeling hopefully things get better!

[@Juke582]

I used to say “we choose” to be screwed up until I got very screwed up by narcissists myself and dropped in a pit of isolation! Not sure I am really choosing my trauma but working hard to dig out of it one day at a time! We got this 💪🏻

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@twinfred3160]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@kwnzgtube]

No childhood trauma or drama, I've been comfortable in my own skin for as long as I recall...I would rather be alone in peaceful solitude than be surrounded by those who are superficial and narrow minded...

[@redpillnibbler4423]

It’s about balance and it’s an individual thing 👍

[@clicheguevara5282]

I'm severely traumatized and autistic. My childhood was brutal. Lots of generational trauma in my family from war. I have C-PTSD from gang violence and drugs. I live on an island and work from home. I spend most of my time around animals instead of humans. I'm just a f-ing mess. Lol ...but honestly, the _main_ reason I prefer solitude is for the same reason you gave. It's quality over quantity. I'd rather be spending time alone than having some superficial, BS conversation about nothing. When I actually do have a meaningful interaction with a person, I really value it.

[@Supernova752]

Thank you for sharing that. Not everyone who “isolates” has CPTSD. I would say you are very rare though 😊

[@IbarraAlejandro]

​@clicheguevara5282 Sooner or later you'll have to interact with ppl bro life will probably force you it happens to all and lt's necessary I spend most of time alone too and my relationship failed last year but I do talk with ppl when I'm at work or when l go out it's human nature we are social beings all of us 😅

[@hellucination9905]

Being alone for me means being free and safe ❤

[@KA-mq4wj]

After being with toxic narcissistic people my whole life, I’d rather be by myself. I was always alone as a child because my narcissistic mother neglected me. I’ve been abandoned by so many loved ones. I’m protecting myself now and my inner child

[@waterdragon2012]

Same here

[@jillmariaplatteaux6083]

I feel you KA but at 43 I feel now this is reallt not healthy anymore. I need friends and it's like everyone left. I am fed up being on my own..

[@diogofarias1822]

​@@jillmariaplatteaux6083 Same here

[@jillmariaplatteaux6083]

@@diogofarias1822 glad I am not alone. Any advice 😅

[@mallorymiller7139]

I can relate, community matters when its available, looks like we still have a long way to go with mental heatlh still.

[@tigerbunny6778]

I thought I was the only one who self isolates. This episode describes me perfectly. Thank you to everyone else out there. I dont feel so alone anymore! ❤

[@marshareed1438]

I was deeply hurt in my 30 yr marriage so now I isolate. I was also sexually & physically hurt in my childhood so feeling in control of my Safty is a must for me! Nobody can tell what I’m going through bcz I don’t let it show. I go out when I’m in the mood to be someone else.

[@christinecanty5409]

I am safe. That’s all I need to be in this life. That means being alone almost 24/7. I am 67. No more trauma for me.

[@Mrssarandy]

45 and feel exactly the same.

[@joyceellison6039]

Exactly, I am 67 also

[@Datb2]

I’m 26 and I am with u.

[@mimsay2u]

Same - although I do feel sad about that at times because I am choosing to not live my life fully. 67 also. Was bit more social before retiring but way to happy to have a cozy home, pets, adult children that live in town and an empty calendar.

[@buckeyeheirloomseeds]

100% I'm 65, have home Business and have a small farm. I've carried my pain so close to my heart for so many years, there's no fixing it. Isolating on My farm brings me peace. Bless you Sister!

[@DjKienyeji]

I figured out that the less I socialize the better i sleep so I chose a better sleep than a social life

[@RG-iw7py]

But we need people. In most stressful time ashwagandha helped me, popular ayurvedic herb, starts working after 1-2 weeks. Maybe can help you as well. It's toning nervous system, makes everything calmer for me without making sleepy like melissa.

[@vkrgfan]

Exactly! If hypervigilance saved our lives thus far then it’s working 😂

[@andybrown3016]

I find this aswell. Also another thing that effects my sleep is having something planned like going out with friends at the weekend or a holiday or whatever. As a result I never make plans

[@Sa.Smi.92]

I have lived by myself since I was a young teenager and my mother left. I have been living alone nearly 45 years now. I never had a long-term relationship, never had children. I seem to only date sociopaths, borderlines, and narcissists exactly like the people who raised me. I don’t meet any people like me. I worry as im getting older how long I can keep being 100% alone? Like psychically? I could never survive in some sort of a home with other people. I’m a wonderful neighbor. I’m a good citizen, I rescue animals and rehabilitate them but I simply cannot stay safe among humanity. I have a magnet for pathological people, and I’ve never been able to fix it as I approach 60. I have been in therapy for 38 years with a few different people and I always consider my therapist my only friends. They have helped me a lot, but they can’t be out in the world with me when my brain stops working. I prayed for years to lose the desire for love and companionship, and I did. I’ve always been an introvert, a bookworm, and a daydreamer.

[@sebastianliwinski222]

You must be Pisces 😊

[@bluecube7247]

Ditto to all that

[@janiemiller825]

Suggestion - read this book 📕 “ The Human Magnet 🧲 Syndrome “ By Dr Ross Rosenberg

[@gurgesater9933]

It's so sad even to read this statement of yours,like I feel your struggles and it brings me just pain and I'm losing hope for myself too, although I'm young...There is no light in the darkness. Just sorry for my comment and my English,but your comment hit me so hard.

[@clicheguevara5282]

Have you considered that you _might_ be autistic?

[@Blu_Grease]

The ability to be alone is a blessing. The social butterfly will admire you

[@beachgal2023]

I was assaulted 7 years ago and after 5 years of recovery I prefer to be alone. I don't have anyone traumatizing me on a daily basis and I am safe with my dog. I don't have much, but peace of mind is all that matters. Be well everyone

[@remi000simon]

Yes. A agree. You don’t go back to same place or same people or same job. That has shown you disrespect or abuse. You walk away. To find a better path. And it be a better fit. I find the words. Less is more.

[@ednaking956]

Wishing you peace and comfort.

[@marinarassin4231]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/omXEnoN8iMafppIsi=c1M9mj_C7aBeirid

[@markh4926]

"there ain't nothing in this world worth a solitary dime, but old dogs and children, and watermelon wine." Tom T. Hall

[@rdallas81]

Bless your soul.

[@jecoliasjems2529]

I was just diagnosed with CPTSD. I am so hyper-vigilant that it’s scary. I’ve been in fight mode my entire life.

[@sethhood3492]

I’m glad you were able to get diagnosed fairly young. I’ve had it my entire life but didn’t find out until 45.

[@jecoliasjems2529]

@@sethhood3492 I’m almost 37. That’s not young for a diagnosis. Thank you.

[@meeschers]

Same here. I am constantly in fight and defense mode, even more so since I married a man who has his own emotional problems with PTSD and a narcissistic mother. He's getting help but it's not on the level he really needs (he's on meds but not really discussing his past traumas dealing with his parents-he's kind of in denial of how severe his abuse was) and he constantly relies on me to be his shoulder to lean on so I have to find a way to handle my needs and it's being in these modes in order to function. I don't have an issue with it-in fact I prefer to be a few steps ahead of what's to come because it prepares me for all possible outcomes.

[@MassMultiplayer]

your luck, men with CPTSD get told "get gud or die in gutter" also hav eto become a millionaire, or date one

[@jecoliasjems2529]

@@MassMultiplayer Good for you.

[@flowerchild89]

I've been extremely hurt, abused, taken advantage of, and gaslit, to name a few, by many people that I trusted (including my parents). I've suffered from abuse and neglect most of my life, and I'm 49. I isolate to protect myself. I'm in therapy and on medication to try to heal. I am an introvert.

[@luctuosaluctuosa5360]

The same here.😟

[@ronjon7942]

I am introverted now as well, and recently confronted my father about his abuse towards me and my siblings, and especially my mom. Unfortunately, he’s clueless about what his behavior was and is responsible for. I’m just glad I learned to identify it, and will be able to handle it in therapy. I haven’t had many negative experiences with people hurting me, though, besides the above. Mostly, due to my self sabotage and especially my alcoholism, I did a complete job at destroying all my close relationships and especially the one with my best, and really only, friend. I know I should, and could, put myself ‘out there’ to socialize and especially to get over the psychological torment and damage of being alone. But after getting use to being alone, it is now very difficult to invest and commit to friendships, and that anxiety that comes up that moves me to retreat back to myself is very, very difficult to overcome.

[@ClaireGarrard]

​@@luctuosaluctuosa5360 Same here too.

[@joannalawson6775]

Me too 😞

[@blackwingvalleylover]

It's for the best sometimes and books and movies and cats and dogs are good company 😊

[@sallylibby8254]

I was the scapegoat, married a bully narc, divorced then had a bully bf but cut that off quickly bc I was learning what I shouldn’t tolerate. I’ve been pretty much alone for nearly 20 years. Not lonely at all! I have a podcast, plenty of interests and a wonderful dog and cat!

[@chrislim7976]

I'm 53 and have learned this. If you need to isolate then isolate. Do what you need to do for yourself, not what society says you should. Life is short. Respect and listen to what your body and mind are telling you. ❤

[@uyoebyik]

I agree

[@badeugenecops4741]

You don't get it. Sometimes what your brain is telling you is not always true or correct. Your brain gets stuck on self preservation, when it's not needed. I'm glad that works for you, but why are you showing up here, on a professional's page, and profess that you know what others should do?

[@chrislim7976]

@@badeugenecops4741 Perhaps you don't get it. I'm telling people my perspective and opinion. I'm not saying stay in bed for 6 months. The DSM manual changes every year and this isn't a professional forum. It's KZbin and comments section is for comments. Exhale, Dr Eugene.

[@d.f.9064]

At 60 I concur.

[@TheRainman444]

I can’t imagine noticing to please society, that must be horrible , society is why I want to be alone they are idiots for the most part !

[@tbd419]

This is me. I’m 62. All this time. Fight or flight as a baseline. I can read a room in a heartbeat and accurately.

[@Scarlettfeverdreamofny]

Yes! I'm a human scanner

[@luckystone2293]

Me too, I just wish I could stop scanning and get to experience real peace. Will I ever feel safe enough? Ehh

[@aquababy2012]

@@luckystone2293 Have you tried body scan? It's a decent grounding technique that in combination with diaphragmatic breathing has helped me a lot. I find that lying down with hands clasped above my head really allows me to breath more easily during the exercises that I derived from research into jhanas.

[@GeckoHiker]

Isolation is the best time of my life. After 70 years of living with myself I am my best friend and my safe space. I recognized this about myself very early in life. My trauma didn't stop me from having a hapoy marriage, a good job, and an outside life on my terms. I can volunteer in my community for a few hours a week, have like-minded friends over to socialize, and work with troubled youth. But I'm always counting down the minutes until I can be safely alone to recharge. My husband and I have our own childhood traumas and we understand each other. So we can give each other space to just be, in peace. No nagging or fixing or judgment. Don't put up with anything less!

[@lisadiane55]

This video and others' comments deeply resonate with me. I was raised by a very narcissistic, unpredictable, negative mother and an affectionate but still remote father, ill with recurrent cancer all through my life. My brother was emotionally abusive. Therapy has been of little benefit. My attention and memory have always been very poor, and I wonder about the role of life-long dissociation in causing that. At almost 68 yrs old, I have no involved family and nearly no friends. It's a sad state. I've been too content perhaps being at home with creative projects. I feel for all others here with similar struggles.

[@musicmamma]

I am alone too. Workplaces often get rid of me, as I have autism, & am on the spectrum. I will be on my 10th job in 7 years. My disability isn't enough to cover all my bills. They say they won't judge you based "on creed, sex, religion, " & so-on, but you are severely judged at workplaces by people. I wish I could just frigging retire, already. I'm 58.

[@showyouthewhey5742]

​@@musicmammamental health is sticky... I'm nowhere near as old as you or experienced but I understand mental health taking its toll just making it hard to fucking function normally...these jobs don't care about us any way... get ur money and save as much as u can and retire in peace... blessings 💖

[@bobnandez]

do hang out with creative people. i feel you.

[@anatta467]

as a combat veteran self isolation after the war was incredibly important for me. My family kept trying to force me out and "get me help" but it only forced our relationships apart permanently. Never try to control someones healing process, thats not Love.

[@secondthought2320]

They don't understand. Just a loud sound or someone dropping a briefcase onto a desk will make you jump into survival mode. It's best to work it out alone. Every night brings the memories, sweats and nightmares. Take care and do what is best for you.

[@ladyt9000]

Exactly (Ret USAF)

[@patkearney9320]

Yep my story too I'm sixty now and I still crave solitude and my dog people piss me off fast.

[@luniette]

@@510Redneck its not fair to say that because someone put in effort we didn't ask for isnt love, love is just being there during all stages, and understanding that healing is not linear, and putting expectations on us when we're at a stage of flight or fight makes it feel like you cant accept us as we are right now, and we need to be pushed somewhere we dont even correlate to yet naturally to be the only way we're actually accepted. i rather be alone

[@Acheron666]

Yeah, I’m getting the same right now. I’ve got my family and mental health workers trying to force me out of the house. Doesn’t matter that I’m not feeling up to leaving the house, as they’ll just turn up at my door and lecture me on how it’s “not health to lock yourself away.” It’s not healthy for me to be out of the house just now, because I can get really aggressive over nothing, due to my condition.

[@wizardofcog]

It is possible to find peace in isolation. I no longer feel the tug-of-war of wanting relationships and wanting to flee that I once did. I enjoy my own time and my pursue my own interests and are feeling complete in myself. I write this so that others out there suffering may see light at the end of the tunnel. Ok, perhaps it's not the ideal ending of a longlasting relationship with a loving partner. I just want you to know that happiness can be found in being alone.

[@RG-iw7py]

It's possible, can be enjoyable but is it the ultimate healing? Lady from Crappy Childhood Fairy channel said we need people to get healed.

[@cathychase663]

@@RG-iw7py I am not a fan of the lady from crappy childhood - she's not a therapist - she's not my type to listen to

[@vkrgfan]

@@RG-iw7pynot necessarily people to heal us but folks that can teach us strategies of literal survival in this crazy world. That’s just as simple as that, any strong relationship takes a test of time to develop, consistent positive scores of those relationships. Many are living in abusive relationship with Complex PTSD and they don’t even know it that they have CPTSD.

[@eyeseeme3]

That’s awesome, I would love to achieve that. what would you say was the most pivotal thing that changed the need?

[@eyeseeme3]

@@cathychase663 same

[@libertine5606]

As a child of a verbally abusive alcoholic mother, at 14 all I wanted was to be alone. No drama just quiet and once it was possible that is what I did. I made sure that I was financially independent so that I would never have to rely on anyone else. I bought my first house at 25 and never got married. No one could take away my peace. I found in everything I did if it was too good that I must look at the negative side. To autoregulate I guess. It worked for me. I never had to put anyone into my disfunction and never had to feel the guilt that I caused other the pain I went through.

[@memdy7452]

You are a strong, courageous person. You've overcome your childhood trauma in a clear, focused, mature, and intelligent way. Imo it is impressive.🏆❤

[@barbsinclair7352]

It took me a long time to realize that I needed the alone time to recharge, I have friends and family that I enjoy but after a few hours I can't breathe, I need to get away and regroup and just have solitude. I wish it wasn't so taboo still to want to be alone, it's more rude for others to keep asking the why.

[@richardmattocks]

Being alone is the only way to be calm. I had an abusive childhood and never learned how to trust, so staying home alone is my “me time” where I can decompress from work and relax.

[@AkChiVibes]

I used to be a social butterfly. When I quit drinking everything changed. Found out I actually can’t stand being around people. I now live in the middle of the woods in Alaska-my husband is usually gone working. The anxiety I get when I have to be around people is so intense..especially when I make plans w someone. Even if it’s something fun-the stress from having to follow through w the plans will keep me up the night before. Usually I’ll actually have a good time,but it doesn’t matter..I’ll do it all over again next time plans get made. Long story short sorry, I feel best when alone.

[@andybrown3016]

Yes I don’t make any plans because if I do I can’t sleep like you. Even if it’s something “enjoyable” like going out with friends at the weekend. And holidays are an absolute no go. If I live an isolated lifestyle, don’t make plans and keep social interaction to a minimum I sleep fine. If I don’t I literally go crazy. I always thought I was just weird but this is likely part of CPTSD in my instance at least

[@AkChiVibes]

@@andybrown3016 You’re not alone friend.

[@susan.kearse.clayton]

This is me, too.

[@audrey6928]

I've been sober from alcohol 2 and a half years. I coped with drinking it MADE me a social butterfly but that's a liquid drug. It is not who we are. It is self medicating :/. Got sober, found God! Thank you Jesus I've healed a ton but as humans we still have the effects of the sin nature and struggles. You described me to a T. That's why I commented. Uncanny. Word for word. Me. I stopped drinking. Now had to deal with my severe anxiety. I get triggered just when people try tot walk to me but then I force myself wnd end up enjoying it just to turn around stay up all night trying to amp myself up to socialize. It is a process. The Devil is a liar. We will heal in Jesus name. We just got to keep at it. Recharge when we need. Isolate when necessary. Be kind to ourselves and always pray. Jesus has not forgotten you.

[@AkChiVibes]

@@audrey6928 Amen sister. By the blood of Christ we are redeemed and saved. See you on the other side friend 🙏

[@williamholland6135]

I feel empty on the inside. I show no emotions, no nothing. I've disconnected myself from society.

[@user-oi6wk3dk6w]

❤

[@clicheguevara5282]

Have you always felt this way or did something trigger it?

[@Gk2003m]

When I see the rampant narcissism out there, where so many who initiate conversations do so NOT because they are interested in you but because they are seeking yet another vector to expound upon themselves, I am reminded of the value of alone time.

[@ronjon7942]

Well said. I appreciate the usage of ‘vector.’ Very apropos.

[@loren3160]

I have been very sensitive all my life. My feelings get hurt because I'm very respectful to others. If they chose to be snooty, arrogant I won't play along. I don't gossip or try to hurt anyone. My isolation is my time to be with God and I love it✝️🙏❤️

[@criquethamrick7255]

I am so so similar to you! I always say people can't surprise me anymore with how awful they can be to one another. But every time I socialize or go out into the world.....boom they surprise me! I never can understand how humans can disregard one another so easily the way they do?!

[@donoharm510]

❤💜💙☮

[@cSsm65]

Amen!!!

[@Pauline-rh2km]

I prefer solitude. The world is evil.

[@loren3160]

@@Pauline-rh2km exactly 💯.

[@dawnfollett9215]

Someone a while back told me that the need to isolate--is not only a way we protect ourselves from a very toxic world--where criticism greatly out numbers compliments--but where isolation also conserves our energy--most especially if depression rears its ugly little head.

[@tracydutton7577]

I get drained easily. I'm an introvert

[@georgiaisom6347]

"where criticism greatly out numbers compliments"... Yes. You get it.

[@susanmercurio1060]

They say that if you are normal in a crazy world, you're the crazy one. I think that keeping ourselves away from the craziness is healthy.

[@susanmercurio1060]

​@@georgiaisom6347 : Oh, brother! I don't remember ANY compliments when I was a child: it was all criticisms.

[@Heisenberg-35]

Psychedelics are just an amazing discovery. It's quite fascinating how effective they are for depression and stress..saved my life.

[@ronalddavis9762]

Is he on insta?

[@garypeters7261]

While tripping make sure to find a good mycologist who teach you the right things you need to know

[@kaytinsabiastro8829]

With all due respect, if you’re really messed-up emotionally/mentally, psychedelics can be dangerous. I’ve seen it, personally - how they can nearly lead some people to tragedy. I understand trying anything to survive beyond the pain. However, if you listen to people who KNOW things about the spirit realm, they’ll warn about certain doors being opened that shouldn’t be opened. If it weren’t for God’s grace through my Savior, Jesus Christ, I don’t know how I’d still be here. I have seen how he brought me through so many harrowing experiences… It was God. There’s no other explanation. If anyone’s interested, check out “de la fe testimonies.” Just some input. Please, ignore if you don’t agree.

[@dayegilharno4988]

Seriously guys... Could you perhaps take your gorram bot marketing elsewhere?! People are trying to heal here.

[@CathyWatkins-ie7ym]

Thank you. This explains so much . I really needed this. I have no friends or family. Can’t trust anyone. The world is not safe.

[@irenecharrois5199]

Trust yourself, you made it this far!

[@kimberlydavis5034]

My wall is huge and tall. I don't allow people anymore to get close to me. It's to protect myself from dangerous situations, abuse and being hurt. I don't have to try and please everyone else anymore. I'm learning to set boundaries and also learning that it's alright to say No.

[@EvelynLawson]

Look up ☝️☝️that handle, he’s got the best tips and helps. I’ve microdosed shrooms for about 6 months now and it has really helped my CPTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ll recommend it for anyone🙏

[@rhythmrhythm519]

❤

[@mamachiz73]

I feel this way daily, it’s comforting and yet I wish didn’t have to. But at a point where can’t trust anyone

[@amusedBYfools]

One must be 10ft tall and bulletproof to get thru. Nobody else sticks around.

[@jenni__]

🖤

[@kharris0465]

I have been isolating for about 6 years. I am below 220 pounds for the first time in 7 years. My aches and pains are gone. My fitness, mental wellness and eating habits are vastly improved. I have put all of my focus into me. Needless to say my former lover, Ronald McDonald and my side piece The Burger King are pissed. I am serious about my self love and improvement and I am going to keep this going. 🌹A rose for you for such a great video.

[@janined5784]

Good for you! Well done! 👏 👏 👏 👏

[@erikap8854]

🎉❤

[@no1nestandsalone387]

I love this. Your former lover Ronald McDonald I get it 😂

[@no1nestandsalone387]

I lost about 40 lbs or so.. so I hear you! Congrats!

[@stevesyncox9893]

Down 40 myself. Alone seems the way of it.

[@phoenixlight1111]

I am 55 yrs of age, and I learned that my 'issues' for most all of my life stem from C-PTSD. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 13, and then it changed to BiPolar Disorder in my late 20's, and then about 9 yrs ago I had a suicide attempt and ended up in a facility on a 72hr hold, ultimately diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and C-PTSD. They were suggesting to keep me longer but my youngest was graduating HS and I wanted to be there so I faked feeling better and told them everything they wanted to hear so they'd release me. I've gotten really good at knowing what to say to whom and when. I've become great at masking. I was a victim of my stepfather for over a decade, who was a child molester. It seemed to also promote the same thing from an uncle (his brother), and his army buddy. I'm sure my mother had to know something but never did a thing. I attempted suicide at 13 because a lady I babysat for seemed to pick up on something about me, asked me if I was being abused and if my mother knew, and that she'd give me a few days to tell on my own. Or she'd step in and tell for me. I was petrified, and relieved, elated, and scared, panicked.....and ready. Well, a day after that, I attempted suicide, was taken away to an emergency psychiatrist who asked the same question and my response put me in foster care. In an instant I no longer had a 'family'. All my things, my record player, my stuffed animals, my favorite books, my clothes and shoes, my younger sisters, my pet rat, my school supplies, my life as I knew it was gone forever in just a moment of time. I moved around to different homes for various reasons until I was 18 and able to live on my own. I've never had a long term relationship, I used to brag that I could cut ANYone off and never look back (as if it were a noble trait), I never had authentic or long time friends, I really and truly can turn the switch off if I want to, and most times I turn it off before I sense someone will ultimately walk away anyway. I got pregnant and ditched, met someone else and got pregnant and ditched again, got date raped and pregnant again, and as a single mother raising 3 children alone and with severe mental health issues, seeing my 'family' carry on as if nothing happened, has been the hardest part of healing. I've always felt like I don't belong anywhere, and I shield myself from relationships so I don't have to explain my psychological traumas. When I meet someone and have a friend, it never lasts. I retreat and duck and bob and weave, just to keep from feeling too attached. I always say I'm just a lone wolf. Throughout the years I've been in intense therapies, I've taken an array of psychological meds, and worked as hard as I could to be somewhat functional in society, but even that is a stretch at times. This video popped up today, during a time that I'm in a dark place. I feel so misunderstood, 2 of my children are estranged from me, I've been having intense episodes of derealization, and just not quite as stable as I wish I could be, but I'm aware and conscious of my inner dialogues and my reactivity so I'm moving through it as best I can. I feel very lonely, and yet I don't want relationships. It's a strange state to be in for sure. Anyway, this video helps explain a lot that I need reassurance about these days. It came in perfect timing. Thank you to the synchronicities of life that are for a higher good.

[@juleeclear8355]

💚💚💚💚💚

[@crystalcompassion]

💓

[@theheididoll6641]

Your story resonates a lot...sounds like we're in similar spots in the journey, so I won't give "words of wisdom" lol...just a pact; if you keep trying, I'll keep trying too, k?

[@ladyjess3957]

😔❤️your not alone. everyone in this comment section has had many traumas and experiencing almost the same thing. what keeps me sane is prayer and knowing god and jesus are real and god will get justice for us and if your isolated its proberly not an accident, god hides his hurt and damaged by life children, and he also provides what they need. have faith and hope, in heaven we wont have to suffer like this anymore. 🙏🥰jessie in texas

[@lisawynne-magnuson9469]

I hear you @pheonixlight and I see you. I understand you. Keep holding on to hope. I am still believing for a favorable ending for you. I am cheering for you and please know that through it all, God is with you. Sending you sunshine and hugs.

[@gingerness]

I cut everyone out of my life 10 years ago. I had no friends and stopped talking to my mum and siblings. However I do have two dogs that make me be social. I joined a hockey team and the gym. The only thing I missed was going out to restaurants and my birthday 🎂 but I still go to restaurants on my own and buy a cake for my birthday. Being around women that are all married and have kids, I have nothing in common I was embarrassed.

[@ronjon7942]

It’s so sad to read about so many people with such similar experiences as mine, yet we are both lonely, seemingly seeking one person to share time with. I wish it were easier or even possible for people such as us to actually find one another, but being alone is the hard part of isolating - and it makes it hard to meet; impossible, thus far.

[@markmarkyyy5632]

I'm 64 yrs. old. Cried when I saw this. Described me to a T. Called the suicide hot line twice last month... told to leave a message. Called a brother, a neighbor and a pseudo friend and cried my eyes out to them... never got a call back... called a psychologist last week for an appt. never called back. How many times does a person have to reach out??????? Don't see this ending well.....

[@wildpupadventures]

I am so sorry to hear that, Mark. Keep trying if you can.

[@meanimeconingles]

God is always listening to you. He wants you to have a beautiful life. If you go back to Him you'll safe and loved. ❤️

[@Iseetwomorrow]

💪

[@ld8956]

I hear you. Try journaling , going into a church to talk to someone a priest or check out groups you can join. You need to express your story and talk and be heard. Don't stop you got this!

[@MayaLove1976]

Yes a church is somewhere you’ll always be accepted. Please update us and let us know if you got support ❤

[@skipperclinton1087]

A person doesn't have to have PTSD to want to stay away from people. Life is a lot simpler that way!

[@maryleonard8001]

Amen

[@irenemigliaccio]

I agree completely!

[@HONEYSUCKLE308]

A unknown person is 💯 strong one you can’t destroy the unknown And she will stand out from the crowd..unknown but be notices because she remains alone unknown to them.. that’s her uniqueness.. being alone is her quiet strength of contentment…

[@user-hj9dh6cx9o]

I think if you really isolate to an extreme extent you probably do have some degree of (C)PTSD. Educated guess.

[@livelystones7773]

How selfish to comment like this. Removing yourself to have a ‘simple life’ is a CHOICE. Removing yourself as an extreme trauma response is not ‘a choice’ Most people with CPTSD actually prefer to have a normal life where they can easily mix with people. So by all means take all the CPTSD trauma responses and heap them to yourself. I don’t want mine. You’re welcome to it so you can live isolated and ‘happy’. SMH

[@aoifebee780]

Im really trying to break my self isolation cycle, I know im missing out on "normal" things and good people. Talking therapy wouldn't be anything i could ever do, but I have recently been looking into somatic healing. I'm gearing up to book it in and just try! Wishing everyone healing, safety, and happiness ♡

[@onlinesellingsuccess]

This is something I have wanted to try as well. I got recommended it by a therapist who wasn't sure if CBT would be useful for me. Wishing you the best x

[@ronjon7942]

I’ve had some bad therapist experiences, but mostly good, and a couple - wow, excellent. For me, finding the right therapist was similar to finding a good AA group - I just keep trying until I find one that works. At least works well enough, knowing I have to be patient, flexible, and willing to put effort into. That said, it’s not like I jump into my car and start finding all these great people. I’m used to being alone and that’s my default way to cope. And if I overthink going to a meeting or whatever, I’m more likely to retreat to my default and crawl under the blanket. Sometimes, most of the time, I know I make ‘myself’ the hardest for myself. I’m not particularly happy being alone, but I mostly find myself alone. Anyway, good luck with your healing and your journey.

[@robynsjewelryideas]

I thoroughly enjoy being alone. Thank you for this video. I trust nobody.

[@Aashka_The_Mystic]

This is totally me. It's like, if your brain is developing in an environment where your caretaker can't be relied upon and is abusive and neglectful, you're always going to be viewing the world through this lense. It just feels more safe to isolate myself away from people who could hurt me. And all to often that fear does become a reality. I've been betrayed very deeply by people i thought i could really trust.

[@rosarosa3048]

If you need a friend, God is sufficient Master Nursi

[@michellethelightworker5271]

ME TOO! Even my daughter!!!😮‍💨

[@TheRealMACA]

@@michellethelightworker5271 sad

[@ds8209]

This makes me think that we are not suffering in CPTSD alone. We are all in this together, so thank you. ❤️

[@theasiabev]

We all in this together 💞

[@abusednomoresilence]

Yes, we are in this together. 🤗 I have been living with CPTSD for the last forty-five years. At least, that's when I started getting professional help for enduring generational childhood incest and .......

[@Cookieman524]

This is comforting. I self isolate due to pain and sadness although I deeply care about others. It's hurtful that others can see me as a bad friend for struggling to interact, but this video helps me be more understanding to myself. Thank you.

[@byronkerby6897]

I think isolating or being vigilant is probably a normal and built-in survival response to trauma. It is helpful to understand the cause and effect of CPTSD, and that everyone's healing journey is going to be different.

[@redpillnibbler4423]

If it goes on though and you are unhappy it can become a psychosis.

[@jaydee45]

This really describes me. As a child and even in adulthood I learned, “something bad happens every day, protect yourself “. For me animals, both pets and animals in the wild, are my friends and even protectors. I’m sad to read the comments here and know that so many have suffered. Many blessings to you and thank you.

[@teresabyrne855]

So glad to know well don't know if glad is the right word their are many like me people want to change you get out there met people do this do that can't they just see you are normal but just like to be in very small groups or with our pets we don't want to be with loads of people

[@michelemarch2562]

Animals Never deny love!

[@marys4565]

I also enjoy my pets...and outside, wildlife approaches me. I feel great in my outdoor area.

[@neilfleck4178]

My wish is - ' I wish I wasn't 'out there' so much'.

[@trophyscene5015]

​@@michelemarch2562So true! My pets are currently the only breathing things on this Earth that actually love me. There's not a single human being that knows me who even cares if I live or die

[@kchrkal5714]

Gosh I'm so glad to hear that isolation is a response to CPTSD. All my life "friends" have talked negatively about my need to be alone. I'm tired of being judged as something is wrong with me just because I prefer peace and solitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing CPTSD into the light. I sure hope society doesn't make it into the mental health challenge of the month. It's real, it's extremely difficult and should not be taken lightly.

[@user-zr6pl6nb6z]

Well at least you have friends. I'm to the point where I trust no one.

[@trophyscene5015]

​@@user-zr6pl6nb6zsure, but what kinds of friends are those if they can't even respect how she wants to live her life when her preferences are not even hurting anyone? Those are fake friends. Having no friends is better than having fake friends IMO.

[@user-zr6pl6nb6z]

@@trophyscene5015 True.

[@SlowWalkingMohairSam]

Wow! After all these years, I have received clarity about why I isolate myself. I mean, I knew why, but hearing it described in a non-complex way, just hit profoundly at the center of my mind. Actually, it was comforting just to know it really wasn't my fault. It was the result of a traumatic childhood upbringing. Thank you for the insights Dr. Sage

[@solasolar1]

This is so true and I'm an example. I was a sensitive introverted child who had an emotionally unavailable mother who was neglectful. I'm working through my self isolation with a therapist now and will be diving into more of your videos on this topic.

[@miapdx503]

I'm grateful that I found this video. I've joked about my isolating, call myself hibernating. 😏 but now spring is here, and I feel so awkward, watching people enjoy the sunshine from behind my windows...I'm in my 60s, and all my adult life has been an exercise in healing. It's been a good life, because once I broke free from my abusive, sadistic "family" I began to live...I stumbled...I fell...I cried and I tried. And I'm still here. They say the best revenge is success. My definition of success is the ability to love and be loved. Love is everything. And if you can learn to love, even yourself, then you've overcome your pain. It doesn't go away, but you will have conquered it. Best wishes for all of you who were drawn to this video, all who are isolating, not from fear, but from wisdom. 🌹

[@joywebster2678]

I make myself take short drives, even just to the dollar store, then take an new route home. Minimal people contact but it puts me out in the world and nature again for a bit, and I get my small pkg of nutter butter cookies. It shakes me from repeating thoughts and memories, and then I'm good watching off my balcony or out my window again.

[@andreabobbette825]

Beautifully said. Stay blessed.❤

[@fredrik.og.cato.]

i know what you are talking about. And, I feel you are down there:)

[@LisaThames17]

Ditto

[@sheilastewart6618]

Miapdx503 ♥️👏Loved your last sentiment. Isolation as a response to wisdom ......not reacting to fear. When you isolate for a while, you become aware of the nonsense to which you have been indoctrinated😄😄

[@TheSitaphul]

As a therapist with CPTSD who is also an introvert, I find that some of the points you've shared resonate with me, and at the same time, I do often feel that in these conversations around CPTSD, there is a subtext that displays a bias towards extroverts, where "isolation" gets pathologized, which means it falls on those with CPTSD, who may often spend time alone because they feel disconnected from others, to explain themselves. Sometimes it leads to the belief that they are deficient or not enough, or that they need to do "more work" on themselves. It builds in this market for people with CPTSD feeling that they have to engage in more services, buy into talks and workshops, to "get better." I've often found that people with CPTSD can be incredible at relationship building, they have a tremendous ability to connect and empathize with others - but they just feel a very real and concrete lack of reciprocity from others in their life that isn't rooted in a sense of unworthiness at all. As someone who has grown to be more dissatisfied with most of my friendships in my 40's, and who has had honest conversations with people yet found that things rarely change, along with the knowledge that certain people simply don't have the capacity to be more engaged, what I've found is that there is a sociocultural and political privileging of the traits of "extroverts" (even non-extroverts have these traits) that can make it very difficult to have honest conversations about how we feel in relationship with each other. I have found this over and over and over again in my life, and have been often demonized for being quiet, reflective, and thoughtful, because those with extroversion believe they have a right to my thoughts, which in itself creates a sense of unsafety. Again, personality types aren't as binary as this, I understand that - but I've found that my relationships have most often been one-way with people who skew toward extroversion. It's only recently that I've come into a genuine awareness of it - mostly because I had a year of grief where few showed up for me in a significant way, few could bear to have a conversation about my life, and I'm tired. I think that this lack of reciprocity is informed by many things no social media therapists ever really want to talk about - perceived privilege or lack thereof, perceived status, class, sexuality/reproduction, marriage, chronic illness, attractiveness, ability, political perspective, etc. Particularly in the South Asian community that I come from, those identities absolutely matter in terms of how friends might relate to you, but it takes time to pinpoint and understand it, because generally no one will ever admit to these biases. I do know that because I'm a therapist, single, not dating, not interested in reproduction, coping with chronic mental health challenges, and not wealthy, that people do think less of me because I don't hold much transactional value or power for them, except to talk about their problems. I've actively seen the ways in which certain friends treat more wealthy or powerful or attractive people with much more attention, even if the dynamics of it are sometimes subtle. It is easy for people to do this because society doesn't value the work that I do, and the mental health field is often stigmatized, although this is also changing. I've recently noticed the absolute inability of my more extroverted friends to even ask a few questions in a row of me (or anyone else), but will freely dump about their lives, fully believing in their hearts that this is a beneficial dialogue to me, and take off. It gets exhausting to be the person to have to constantly field these issues with others, and for others to be so unresponsive to my life. Because of the superstructures of how our economies operate (not only capitalist/financial structures, but economies of thought and feeling), I'm not convinced that many people carry an awareness that they could or even should be aware of these things - certainly this isn't really valued in a significant way in a capitalist society. I think it would do wonders for so many people if mental health providers normalized that there may be long periods of your life where you are on your own because you enjoy the safety of your own company, and also because people genuinely show that they don't prioritize or care for you, and that you should not ignore that or find work-arounds, but instead, honor yourself and your own needs. Mental health providers need to serve clients better by not running on assumptions about how a life should be lived, and instead, find transformative and healing ways to navigate these periods where you might be going the distance on your own. This is increasingly the case in this country. There are many people who do try to communicate with others and are even more disappointed - conversation and direct communication are absolutely NOT always healing, but they do form exchanges that provide information on how to maintain your own peace and sanctity, and who to create some healthy distance with.

[@goatrev]

thank you for sharing

[@wandaowens4030]

❤

[@jennasparks8935]

Keep shining your light. I value your selfless work. Don't ever give up.

[@margaretjohnson1401]

The most true and sensible evaluation, its like therapists have a blueprint of how we OUGHT to be, that is to be extrovert with lots of friends and activities and distractions, constantly throwing ourselvelves into what we find most stressful. l am in one of those quiet periods, can't get myself out of it, so have resolved to go with the flow and trust myself to know what l need.

[@sonjaassfalg5889]

❤

[@cathcolwell2197]

Most people are hurting - even the ones who appear to have their stuff together. With that, people can’t be depended upon to be reliable in relationships. So, we all end up being lonely and disconnected so we learn to adapt and make the best of it by quieting ourselves often at home. My faith and prayer helps too.

[@Whatda25]

Excellent. I have isolated myself for 70 years...while it is never too late to change...I would always be on the lookout for people not living up to my expectations.

[@mariekauhi9034]

After dealing with alot of abuse in my life, isolation is the only place I feel safe.

[@dalestaley5637]

I feel the same.

[@Jenny-uv4dl]

Totally agree

[@sharonh667]

Wow! I didn’t realize there were so many others like me out there. More power to us!

[@TheKrispyfort]

Feeling less alone 🥲

[@followyourheart33.]

👍🌹❤️❤️

[@pamelacottrell9579]

I self isolate because it makes me more comfortable, not because I enjoy it.

[@RonLarhz]

This!!!! Better nothingness than getting bullied/abuses/purposely misunderstood/stab in the back, etcetc.

[@ruthyoung1032]

Ive been volunteering at my local animal shelter for years. This gives me purpose and they always need help. I still have my guard up with people but Its a connection with people who have the same goal in mind. God bless ❤

[@tonymanuge1932]

The first woman I had a relationship with asked me, "Why don't you let anyone get close to you." My answer, because if you do you get hurt.

[@xMrjamjam]

We dont fear people getting close, we fear what they'll do once they do get close. Best way to deal with conflict and chaos is by avoiding it entirely

[@Yotop-ch3wc]

Dude! Me to a T! I feel you, Man. It’s not me who is afraid of being hurt… it’s the other way around so I tend to distance myself so much… because, sadly, I know I will end up hurting them. I’m sorry you suffer from the same issue I have. It’s horrible but all we can do is try everyday to try and get better. It’s tortuous but I believe it CAN be done.. hopefully. Prayers to you, man

[@beadingbelle3486]

Every person i have ever trusted has severely let me down & hurt me, so i'm glad to not have to bother with so-called 'friends' anymore. Not having people around also means i have more space to progress with my own healing from childhood trauma, abuse, & cptsd. I find great solace in nature, esp trees, & animals, & also my craftwork. I no longer need to complicate my life with people & their crap - afterall, i have enough of my own to deal with.

[@generaljo78]

I feel that. ❤

[@dameanvil]

02:30 🧠 Reasons for isolation: - Highly self-critical, feeling not good enough, creating a barrier to avoid exposing true self. - Believing others are not good enough, leading to hyper-vigilance and disappointment. - Becoming auto-regulators, learned from childhood, making it hard to trust others to regulate emotions. - Easily triggered due to a sensitive response system, leading to survival responses like fight, flight, freeze. - Core belief that no one is truly safe, making it difficult to trust and fully connect with others.

[@glennreynolds4199]

Thank you for posting this video. I’ve been isolating myself for a long time and didn’t realize why or what was making me feel safer this way. I’ve been telling myself that I’m hiding but I don’t know what from. I’m now a subscriber to your channel and hope that it helps me understand more. Thanks again ❤

[@sixgsrubyred]

I’ve isolated to the point that my family resents me thinking that I think I’m better than them But in reality I just stay in my room away from everyone

[@Oughut88]

I have been accused of this too.

[@ExuberantFit]

Me 2

[@lizdennett9002]

I call this the "don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

[@jonellis6235]

I understand that.

[@grannygirl61812]

Me too! I'm content as can be!

[@melody3795]

This is me! I was raised as an only child and was physically and emotionally abused so I learned to be alone and isolate and learned to love my own company because I couldn’t trust others.

[@andrewmearns2800]

I can relate to that, pretty much only go out to exercise my dogs or pick up necessities, if I'm not around people, people can't hurt me.

[@user-yf7mm9dn7u]

Thank you, Dr Sage. I needed this understanding. Looking forward to all your videos.❤

[@lf30456]

Thank you for making me understand the madness in my head ! I have had many psychologists but you are the first that actually makes sense 🙏🏻 Feeling very emotional right now but in a good way !! THANK YOU 😊

[@barryc9115]

Being by myself is the only way I’ve found to insure I don’t experience more damage from other people. It took me about 2 years, but I finally found my peace when I’m alone. I’ve reduced my friends to a very small handful of people, and I generally only leave the house for work. I am quick and stern in reacting to others when I’m around others, I don’t like being like that, so I just limit any time around others. People are generally selfish at heart, they just are what they are, I having nothing left to give others and I’m out of heartbreaks.

[@salemsaberhagan]

​@Play Google you do realise you didn't need to say that, right? They said they didn't like that about themselves. They know it's not good for them. Pointing out things like that when people have already made it clear that they know that they have a certain flaw is exactly what the old saying "rubbing salt on the wound" is about. Try to avoid doing that.

[@justmejenny7986]

@@salemsaberhagan well said.

[@esperanzamunoz2725]

Thank you! Exactly what I was thinking.

[@cirella1064]

Barry, I understand how you feel hun. Im glad you found a community that understands. If you can find peace and joy alone then do it, no shame in that.

[@arielparks5495]

As you heal you will begin to be more resilient around others. The isolation is restful and healing but one day you will be ready to take more enjoyment in the company of others. You don't need a lot of people in your life A few good ones will do😊❤

[@HeartFeltGesture]

My cold-hearted mother did a real number on me. For decades, since very young, I have been spun in circles with gaslighting, infantilization, manipulation, betrayal, pathological lying. Its no wonder we have developed a mistrust of people and their intentions. I have endeavored to retain my openness, to keep my cynicism in check, to nurture my relational tendencies, to try to meet each new person as they are without broad-stroking all people as bad, but my intuitive radar has been so skewed by trauma and repeated negative experience, as a result I have a kind of neurosis. Im aware of this, but it also has valid foundations, which is confusing to go out into the world with. I do meet good people who I can tell are genuine, but even then I find it difficult to be genuine myself, because of the chameleon tendency, how I learned to adapt myself to the changing moods in the house as a child, we learn to compromise our identity, to fawn, to grovel and submit to fit the vibe of the narcissist, the approval / disapproval cues that we received. This leaves us wondering what our genuine self is, who are we in reality, if we arent constantly adapting ourselves to suit our environment and to please a domineering personality. This is what I am interested to discover and to nurture, to allow myself to be who I really am without fear of judgement or rejection / abandonment. I feel you cant even begin to get in touch with this if you are still in contact with your abusers, which means it is usually family you need to cut out. It is not just parents, but siblings are also brainwashed by the narcissist to treat you as the scapegoat.

[@fredrik.og.cato.]

You need to go to a new place, aka, strangers.

[@peaceangel-rl2hf]

Yes, some of us were surrounded by God awful horrid ppl as a child. As an adult, you can be free of that horrendous circumstance

[@kathyyore309]

How terrible for you😞I feel for you,my mom sent me away to a mental hospital for thirteen months,just to get away from me. I was shy and gawky and she just couldn't stand me. I pray that you find healing in your time by yourself ❤️

[@YourGuiltyConscience]

VERY relateable.. thank you for articulating this so well ❤

[@HeartFeltGesture]

@@kathyyore309 Yes, my mother tried to send me to a boarding school, Im sure for the same reason. I resisted. The school has been in the news in the last few years, it was full of pedophilic teachers who are now facing historic sexual abuse charges.

[@catherinegrace7999]

🦋Thank you doctor Kim for all your videos short and long❤ I'm fairly new to your community but very grateful for it🙏

[@astronorr]

I won't describe it in detail, I'll just say thank you so much for this video 🙏 Every word here is about me. This really helped me understand the reasons for my self-isolation.

[@MoarCargoNG]

I had a girlfriend who went through a traumatic childhood, and she mentioned that she had CPTSD. I didn't know what it meant at that time, but after you made all of the points in this video, it really hit home to me how she acted was a response to the early trauma she endured. I wish I had the ability to go back and teach my younger self what to say to her, because I feel that my lack of knowledge of the subject she was dealing with is what lead to us no longer being together. I still wish her the best, but it has been a long and hard road to follow getting over not having her in my life anymore. She meant a lot to me, and I hope she knows that I understand why she did some of the things she did, and I hold no judgement toward her. Blessings, love and peace to everyone out there. Cherish those around you, and keep an open door for those who have a harder time with life and the many curveballs it throws at us.

[@jackieflynt995]

Wow.. I love the way you wish you had the knowledge to know & do better. Me, too.

[@bfaith2102]

Seeing this would probably mean a lot to her. Good on you for seeking this out & educating yourself, that makes a good partner 💜 much love & respect for doing so. To everyone here - I hope you are experiencing peace & joy. (The joy part can be hard, I know) hang in there. ❤

[@jjglasco8283]

We shouldn't feel bad for what we didn't know. But it's wonderful when we learn and gain understanding. I wish I knew too, but I know now and so we go from here. The Most High brings the healing, but first He brings understanding.❤

[@maryl.sanders8808]

Perhaps you'll have a chance to reconnect, and you can let her know what you've learned. All the best 🙏

[@aaishatillman7991]

I pray that God sends you your wife in due time ❤I pray he gives you the mindset and heart to except your blessings and to love yourself and to give love and peace .much love and respect.I act just like this ..I never want the man to love me it makes me mad.but I'ma seek help so i can receive love.. because i can give it but can't receive it

[@MuscularMayhem]

Chronic illness has contributed to my self isolation. I was hyper social, life of the party & had boundless energy for 27 years. The next 22 have been learning to adjust to a quieter, more serene chronically ill life. I don’t have the energy for people, going out or being over stimulated. I still enjoy a nice night with family & close friends from time to time, but I am most at peace relaxing my mind & body.

[@pattyjenks2366]

Wow! I can’t believe someone else described my situation exactly! Thank you! I’ve continued to fight and waste precious energy trying to still be outgoing and maintain the social life I had before. But it’s exhausting! Thank you so much for helping me see clearly that I don’t have to do that. I thoroughly enjoy my alone time to do solitary things. I’ve had a hard time convincing myself that it’s okay. Thank you!

[@MuscularMayhem]

@@pattyjenks2366 glad this resonated with you - wishing you well 💜

[@valerieann2751]

Yes same. Chronic illness and chronic pain will definitely change your life. You must choose yourself and your own well being. Being alone is so comforting most of the time.

[@MuscularMayhem]

@@valerieann2751 gentle hugs to you, love 💜

[@GladysAlicea]

Same here. I learned many hard lessons during the years I was becoming ill. I've been perm disabled since my mid-40's. A few years earlier, my best friend, my mom, died suddenly. Most former "friends" left when I was going through a time I never imagined. Now I'm in my 60's and I've returned to God, as I realized that without Him, I wouldn't be here and I pray for those suffering around the world. God doesn't want that for us, and whether we believe in Him or not, it's plain to see the evil that's around us and why so many find peace in solitude. I try to make the most of every day and still have two dear friends from jr. high that I've never lost touch with who are also Christian and always there for me, calling to just talk, see if I need anything. My life is quiet, and I really like it that way. God bless you all.

[@catherinesoubre1804]

Omg, as soon as you started talking I felt heard and understood for the first time and burst into tears, even I couldn’t understand “myself”

[@philtoro9199]

Thank you, Dr. Sage. Your information is spot on and it gave me much on which to reflect.