Confidence and Social Anxiety - An Analysis by a Former Therapist

My Website: wildtruth.net
My Patreon: / danielmackler
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[@Sil26439]

Daniel, you, your honesty and sincerity are a true gift to the world. Thank you.

[@tbd5082]

Social anxiety comes from feeling less than and toxic shame. I love minimalism.

[@RevolutionaryThinking]

It reminds me of Joker. That poor guy just wanted acceptance and to be loved and he was berated for it until it drove him insane.

[@mikeexits]

That was definitely an important movie for our cultural zeitgeist.

[@user-Wojciech]

I gained confidence after a relationship with a narcissist. I realised in my 30s how much I've overvalued other people and undervalued myself. I was holding back my own potential before 30.

[@tannwich5350]

He's going to hit every topic eventually. There should be some sort of degree for anybody who makes it thru all of his videos. I'd go to a therapist with that degree sooner than any of the bozos I've seen so far. Maybe he could have an exam or something.

[@Natybsg]

I totally agree 😅

[@sleepingcinderella]

😂I love the way your mind works👏and you're really right

[@ronnychristenjoyer6778]

Yeah there is so much mediocrity and learned fools out there. I trust Daniel.

[@ChooseLoveToday316]

I 100% agree.

[@PsycheOS]

Your stream of consciousness content is so good and authentic that I find myself constantly laughing out loud because every time you come to a point where the "normal" person would hold back and sort of dance around it, you pause, gather your breath and then let loose and drop a truth bomb or unpleasantness of the human psyche. Don't change any thing -- I like the new nature settings. You don't need new shirts or a more varied wardrobe as it distracts from the message. Keep up the great work!

[@dmackler58]

Thanks!

[@blinkroot8]

"Fitting in means loosing yourself" - This was a perfect explanation

[@alanmcbride6658]

Agreed. Perfecto.

[@tiab4697]

I never noticed that Daniel wore the same shirt and it triggers my confidence and social anxiety that I didn't notice that.

[@dmackler58]

Ha! I didn't notice it either ;)

[@BloodyRosie]

I honestly do not care what people think of me even though I was bullied non-stop in my school days. The issue is that the lack of caring does not result in others being any less abusive. I could plug my ears when going outside to make sure I do not hear the insults but that would mean not being alert enough to prepare in case someone wants to physically attack me again.

[@jaysmithcool]

I am a minimalist too, Daniel and I have a very simple and limited wardrobe by choice. When I was working full-time I was judged by this a lot, especially as a woman. You are expected to have a variety of outfits and your appearance matters so much to everyone. This is why I rebelled and decided to wear mostly black and have a casual style...I got tired of trying to please everyone.

[@dianadansas9653]

Angelina Jolie belongs to our tribe 😉

[@jesseishere9959]

Maybe people are paying more attention to the shirt then paying attention to the actual message.

[@PsycheOS]

In many cases it is because Daniel's message is distressing / causing heavy cognitive dissonance. He lays out truth bomb after truth bomb and it scares people. They want comforting but with comfort they will never grow.

[@MARSBELLA1]

Social Anxiety for me is more like a sixth sense. I feel like prey - as though I am a rabbit surrounded by tigers. Eye contact is unbearable and showing any vulnerablity is the trigger for panic because vulerablity is a sign that you cant survive. I actually very rarely could care less whether I am ''accepted'' as a friend by the people I am intimidated by - I am introvert.The people who cause S.A in me are usually thugs (in the UK it has a totally different meaning) - and the most conversation you could get from them is about the premier league (football) - so I dont think of it of a fear of fitting in. I think its trauma based anxiety and that a shy person in this society is targetted because they re weak. Acting/being ''hard'' is such a big deal, as though being ''shy or nervous'' in the modern world is simply unacceptable. Being a loner or an individual seems to create some sort of fear and mistrust between the ''confident'' and the ''introvert''. Today I have to go shopping and I need to buy Vodka. My hands are going to shake and Im petrified they are going to think Im alcoholic. Im just having a bad two weeks and Im depressed and the vodka is for my brother not me. I really dont want to go into but please God dont let the shop be full and there be queue and PLEASE dont let my hands shake!

[@annastone5624]

I love the way you validate the positive aspect of SA.. “Social Anxiety for me is more like a sixth sense” this is fantastic. Sometimes it really is just picking up on toxic or dangerous people.. and we feel it in a more fearful way, because we know we are more vulnerable than the average person..

[@annastone5624]

@MARSBELLA1💖🌸

[@NeistovyAngel]

I can relate to this. I was a smart kid, and I was hated for it at school and university. I was not 'cool', I had 'complexes'. Now I see how unhealthy were the kids, who bullied me) Oh My Goodness!.. I have some pity for them still. But they didn't have much empathy for anyone, including themselves.

[@NeistovyAngel]

I think that some qualities are praised at society at any given time, and people who have those qualities can fit in and get praise and acceptance easily. The thing is, those qualities are different in different societies and time periods. My body type is considered unhealthy and ugly in modern fitness culture. But 50 years ago they would say that I was really beautiful and praise my looks. For my mother it is the same, but she was too skinny at the time period, when it was not considered beautiful. We can not control our looks. There is a whole industry of cosmetics and fitness, but still their abilities to modify people's appearance is very limited.

[@kfcfingerlicker9292]

I used to be in an all-star football team in high school and college as a quarterback. Almost a decade later, my life advice is to never peek in high school or college. This tough-ass mofos ain't shit years later. All the beautiful girls and popular boys I knew in school before got humbled in their future life

[@JuanitaTorres]

I find your messages to be grounding, almost like a meditation. Thank you for putting them out there.

[@windchimes1998]

Really appreciating these videos Daniel.

[@Natybsg]

I guess I don't suffer from social anxiety, but something that helps me not worrying too much about what people think about me is kind of not taking my self 'too seriously' and caring about people or about what I'm doing more than caring about myself or my image. It's something like changing my focus and I think it helps me even during conflicts with someone.

[@smoozerish]

When I tried to fit in and be loved, I became severely depressed. Be authentic is the key to happiness as long as you are not harming physically or psychologically.

[@zorrohansin]

Daniel, you're just taking it to the next level with these videos you shoot in the country side. Really. I want to see you become more and more of your true self. I wish you all the best!

[@popiejopie1]

Unrelated to the topic of this video, but I want to encourage you to participate in online conferences and workshops. Your method of healing trauma through grieving is valuable, and not many others are talking about it.

[@ovidiocastro123]

Daniel don’t change your shirt . People are freakin weird it has no bearing on weather I watch your video or not. What’s important is your message. Your videos are the best I’ve seen so nothing needs to be changed!

[@dmackler58]

Thanks :)

[@alanaverdi5133]

Being our true self brings freedom from social anxiety.The truth Daniel you have spoken.Wake up and enjoy life to be had.The past is not our present future.❤

[@zineb3351]

This is the best approach to healing social anxiety I've ever come across on this platform. You're enlightening Daniel.

[@snowball850]

Daniel thank you so, so much for making this! I remember a little while back, you responded to my comment about making a video on confidence and social anxiety. I am so genuinely moved that you took the time to articulate your ideas and reflect on your life experiences for both me and everyone else who is yearning for some answers to this topic in their own lives. Thank you again, I really found this video to be insightful.

[@davidbooth8422]

I'd like to confess that I have been so captivated by your messages in the over two dozen videos I have watched that I never noticed your shirt selections. Maybe it says a lot about me, but I love your videos very much! Thank you for being brave enough to speak up, Daniel.

[@rusty0580]

Great shirt! Great videos! Thank you.

[@brenna208]

The same shirt makes me WANT to watch your videos. Makes it seem like a little series and the cohesiveness becomes familiar which subconsciously draws me in each time I see a new video. Anybody else?! Thank you for your truthful content, Daniel.

[@haonyoass9556]

Daniel you seem like such a genuine honest man. I love your style and thinking. The thing that bothers me is that it’s unclear to me what things I like are part of the artificial self I’ve made and the things that are genuinely my real self.

[@thebreeze6765]

As one who always takes the back road, the one less traveled, following intuition, I appreciate those who are not the "norm". None of us are perfect. That's what makes life interesting. Thank you for your inspiring videos ✨

[@persianqu33n]

For what it’s worth, I’ve never noticed you wearing the same shirt! I don’t care about those stuff either. If it was up to me I’d probably wear same, most comfortable thing most of the time! I have been growing up, and still am considered “wealthy” but truth had to bed told! Love how you put into words the things most people probably think! Thanks for sharing and anchoring your truth 🙏👌

[@ragemachinist]

Here's an idea: The scientist who did the learned helplessness experiment revisited it after many years. He realised that he got it completely backwards. There is no learned helplessness, that's more like a default state. What he found was that there's learned hopefulness. You have to learn and cultivate your ability to not give up and keep looking for solutions.

[@kdjourney51]

Your brain is awesome.

[@hjagot]

Yesterday evening I had the privilege and honour to be in a space where I felt comfortable to speak my truths, and so I spoke them. That night I still thought about the things I said and that maybe, maybe I shouldn't have said them. This video has given me some perspective. Thank you

[@vidoxi]

thank you for being so authentic

[@PurelyNaturalWoman]

Thank for another well thought out and thoughtful video. I agree as a social worker who worked with students. I agree! Our society is very unhealthy😔

[@n0Drip]

Nice message I try not to find myself into social anxiety, but I tend to let my emotions affect how I am. Something I’ve been proactively working on or at least noticing.

[@Gabby-qh5co]

Hi Daniel I really appreciate your thoughts on this topic! Very insightful.

[@lerubikscubetherubikscube2813]

In the spirit of this video, I stopped myself from commenting on another one of your videos to tell you I loved the shirt you were wearing (kaki, ling sleeved). I used to wear some all the time and people that just got to know me would ask me where I was going dressed like that, when in I was going nowhere and I just felt like wearing them.

[@HeavymetalHylian]

sounds kinda silly, but one of the best things I ever did was cut my hair into a mullet. It sends a message that you're different and not afraid of anybody knowing that. People started treating me so differently in a good way after cutting my hair. So to those on the fence about dressing how you want or changing your appearance to how you want - GO FOR IT. A lot of people have mad respect for that kind of bravery and confidence.

[@underw777]

yep it works!!! mine was nail art and dying my hair

[@davesims7917]

You are on a roll putting these videos out!!!

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

I'd like to see a video specifically about approach and interaction anxiety, particularly around women we are attracted to. I'd love to get your insights into that! I continue to learn a great deal from your videos! They are thought provoking and relatable! Thank you!

[@LionhartM]

It's amazing how much of what you say I relate with. I've had such a similar experience of shunning social norms and being rejected because of it.

[@jojom6505]

Daniel, you the real mvp

[@matildamartinez9164]

Your authenticity and sincerity radiates through the screen. Thank you for your wisdow, your videos are very helpful :)

[@jamesbush6616]

It would be funny to do a response video regarding those who are concerned about what shirt you wear. In the video you wouldn't address the shirt issue at all, however, every minute and a half or so you would appear in a totally different shirt (one with both a long and short sleeve, no sleeves, extremely long sleeves, etc.).

[@dmackler58]

haha :)

[@CO-oz1fk]

You are a gift to the world, Daniel. Respect 💚

[@STR34KZ]

I like your true self Mr Mackler, great video.

[@hs6404]

Wonderful discussion.😊

[@HigherPlanes]

Great stuff as usual.

[@kerendn]

I appreciate you, Daniel.

[@helgahermansen1299]

Thank you for sharing!

[@kirklee66]

I LOVE YOUR HONESTY DANIEL!!!

[@nanyate]

Insightful video, as always. Not really related to the video, perhaps symbolically, in fountain pen communities, stained hands are a badge of honor (from inking pens).

[@gabegibby6515]

This was so honest. I love it!

[@kaneclarke4825]

I’m really liking your honest, deep videos, Daniel. You are greatly appreciated.

[@PurelyNaturalWoman]

Can you do a video about how to continue working and keep your peace of mind, not feel burned out as medical social worker in a toxic environment/ company that only cares about making and overworking and micromanaging their social workers.

[@Jenny19Marie]

This is really inspiring and helped me so much today. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻

[@heatherwood200]

Im really glad i found you! Thank you for sharing yourself with me, I really feel better about being me.😊

[@Bibbzter666]

I love this guy!

[@Hemulionbotanisti]

Thank you! 🙏

[@tessyong7596]

I love YOUR Voice. And grateful that you are in the process of revealing you.

[@afterzanzibar]

Hey, Daniel. I know you give a lot of great content to people and I just hope you have people there for you, as well; I also hope your continuing to grow and that your presently doing well.

[@helgahermansen1299]

I feel like you are talking the truth. The feeling of your words remind me of who I am. Thank you!!!

[@maeybee4354]

I really appreciate you and your videos❤

[@theaaroneby]

He is describing my exact train of thought even about wearing the same shirts!!

[@karishort1891]

Awesome channel ❤️

[@get2no50]

Beautiful brother!

[@kdjourney51]

Your shirt never crossed my mind. Your message is clear. 🤯

[@Selah41st]

So true . You r a breathe of fresh air

[@kuhulikasharma2089]

I honor and appreciate your authentic expression. I felt a strong connection to what you said and felt it to be highly relatable. I also feel this nagging feeling that I have to put on a facade in the outside world. I feel if I was authentic I'll be too mean Or too awkward or too intimidating.

[@brada-smith2807]

So valuable. A real model of healthy values. 🙏🏻

[@christinebadostain6887]

I love how as I listen in anticipation of ,"Is he going to go there?" usually "he" does. It is so confirming. It is one of the best feelings (while a little scary) in the world!

[@user-ep3op6nj7t]

I’ve never noticed your shirt . Because I’m busy doing stuff while I’m listening to your great wisdom and teachings .

[@sonjastein2108]

I love the coherent point of view that embrace not only your thoughts,but your feelings and behavior...even the details about minimalistic life are related to that profund work on trauma,as a psychotherapist I focus on this axial reality...and see the results,as Lloyd de Mause said,the world is just beginning to wake up of the worst nightmare ,wich is infancy...even the so called famous specialist on trauma are disconnected from the really meaning of it, because they usually identify a lot with the social betrayals on children at first... Even I know you have your difference with Alice Miller,I think you are the best not only thinking,but living that path and teaching not only through your books, video reflexions, researchs but with your own experience and life... thanks for such generosity and a lot of blessings

[@mgp_art]

thank you so much...

[@eudaemonia3134]

Hi Daniel, Thank you so much for all your insight! I feel like you equip me with the tools and the knowledge to heal myself. I am eternally grateful! And by the way, when you mentioned how people would critisize that you wear the same shirt, It was so funny to me to realize that I've watched dozens of videoes of you already, and never noticed your shirt, what color it is or that it appears in several videoes. I only feel social anxiety when I am at job interviews, or looking at houses(where the owners decide who they want to rent out to). I normally just put on clothes that is comfortable to wear. But all of a sudden, I need to watch out for what I say, what I wear and what I do...and I absolutely hate it! I hate the fact that I have to fake and act, to make a living or even have a home tl go to. I don't judge those things, but society does, and I have been turned down time and time again on job interviews and when deciding for apartments just because I was too honest. People don't like that...

[@jesseishere9959]

I have a lot of social anxiety. I had it through my life.

[@davesims7917]

When people say they “have“ social anxiety they say it as if it is a condition…the reality is you experience social anxiety as a result of feeling uncomfortable and most likely insecure and not very confident...you don’t “have it“...you experience it

[@jesseishere9959]

@@davesims7917 I will take that in consideration. Thank you.

[@davesims7917]

@@jesseishere9959 thank you and I experience social anxiety myself especially when it comes to going out to dinner or something like that… I think it stems from childhood and not having pleasant experiences eating together with the family

[@jesseishere9959]

@@davesims7917 I do agree. I didn't have that much of of a good childhood. If my parents gave me more encouragement back when I was young then I would have more confidence in myself today.

[@Sunshine74444]

I think you’re fantastic. You are a true seer and I love your compassion and authenticity. You also validate my own predilections for minimalism and truth seeking. I hope you experience much peace, love, and joy. Bless you and May you be well. ❤✌🏽🙌🏽

[@luziamuhlebach4067]

Thank you for another wonderful video! What you said about your shirt really made me smile. I own two pairs of jeans, which (so they tell me) is nowhere near enough ;-) However, to me it feels sufficient. There was a time when I felt a lot less comfortable in my body and at that time, clothes were more important to me. I hope that you feel good in your body, too, and that for this reason what you wear can be simple and still make you happy. But of course I agree that social pressure is real and I have felt it, too. I'm just glad that as a massage therapist, I have to wear simple clothes for work (for practical reasons and because it allows me to focus on the patient). I can't have long, stylishly painted nails because that would interfere with my work. I wrote "can't" just now but what I really meant was "don't have to". It feels great that I can just skip this whole nails issue without it bothering me at all (I once worked another job where I was the only woman without fancy finger nails and that really felt weird). However, I believe that a love for style and fashion can be genuine in a person, and that if it is, you can tell. I know people who are just naturally elegant, who love to dress well and really look stunning, too (without, of course, seeming to try at all). I'm happy for these people because I perceive their style as an expression of self. No such person has ever criticised or ridiculed me for they way I look. They seem happy with themselves and let others be happy, too. Would you agree with that? Kind regards and thank you again for your wonderful work.

[@SporadicUploads1]

Thank you

[@RelaxxationStation]

people that are cometing about the same shirt are not listening his messages. what a waste on their part

[@PsycheOS]

It's avoidance.

[@tinet7056]

Maybe they're just curious.

[@RelaxxationStation]

@@tinet7056 about the clothing? I would understand if this was what to wear channel

[@efehansahin2172]

sorry it just made me too happy to see this video. I recently made a joke in school and was very anxious if people are gonna bully me, but GUESS what. Many people laughed. And I was so surprised. But it still affects me in many ways. scary

[@estherann7407]

Daniel, even before you said anything and your video came on, I said to myself...I like it when he wears that shirt. I like the small print and it looks good on you. It never ceases to amaze me how shallow some can be. I'm a full-figured gal that works in a male dominated industry. I wear a black shirt to work every single day. In the past, I've caught some of my male co-workers "looking at me" so I decided if I wear the same shirt every day, they have nothing new to look at. I've worn the same style black shirt for the past 4 years. Your reason for wearing your shirt is really nobody's business. It's the honest content of your video's I'm interested in. I would like to add before someone critiques it, that I love your outro music. I don't recall if I sometimes hear it in the intro, but I appreciate the outro jingle, it sooths my heart and lightens my thoughts. Thanks for being so genuine, honest and transparent with us. I appreciate you!

[@Christophfarrell]

I love your shirt :) And your content!

[@ArmwrestlingJoe]

Hi Daniel I’m 21 and I see a lot young people really self medicating with marijuana and some psychedelics. I feel like these substances are downplayed and even promoted. Any thoughts?

[@arbez101]

Joe, if you were 41 do you think you would still feel the same way?

[@willd6215]

Would you do drugs or have you? And if not why not?

[@trucid2]

Think about what it is about the environment you live in that makes people want to self medicate with illegal drugs in the first place.

[@ArmwrestlingJoe]

@@arbez101 probably not. It’s really common with younger people. I know many many people who smoke weed every day

[@ArmwrestlingJoe]

@@willd6215 I have smoked weed but I’m most cases I notice people can’t handle it and it turns into an addiction and something that harms them in the long run

[@tatianaturtelli1204]

Thank you ❤.

[@jenlenore3665]

You are wonderful, Daniel. This video reminded me of something I haven't thought of in a very long time. It was middle school and we were assigned to write a sonnet and present it on a poster board that was decorated with our artwork related to our subject. Well, I did mine, and it was a sad and dark sonnet. I don't remember it now--but there was talk of death in it for sure, and there were tombstones in the background. As far as I remember, I was pretty pleased with how it turned out. I got a C on it. I was very surprised and disappointed. I went up to the teacher to ask her why. She said it was too dark! I got a C because she didn't like the content! She never said these had to be about butterflies and happy endings. I knew this was wrong, but those things had to be swallowed. A lot of swallowing. Everywhere. There were ideas of death around me all the time at home, from my mother constantly threatening suicide, and from within, wishing the same for myself. Our walls in our house were covered with the not-very-sophisticated paintings of my mother, which expressed, very overtly, these themes. I never wanted to invite anyone to the house because of her, and because of these painting on the walls. The topic you present here is a big one... For me this is part of the beauty of your videos--following the train of thought they open up. I thank you, once again.

[@timmysmith9991]

Rock on Mackler

[@craig3714]

I have social anxiety Daniel thanks for making this video .

[@davesims7917]

When people say they “have“ social anxiety they say it as if it is a condition…the reality is you experience social anxiety as a result of feeling uncomfortable and most likely insecure and not very confident...you don’t “have it“...you experience it

[@craig3714]

@@davesims7917 I didn't used to have social anxiety til like 2 months ago .So yeah dealing with narcissist and toxic people who want to destroy my life has gave me social anxiety .

[@davesims7917]

@@craig3714 i’m sorry to hear that… Yeah that was just my theory so yeah I definitely could be wrong about that. So what happened within the past two months that you feel caused it?

[@craig3714]

@@davesims7917 The bullying got worse so did the slander . Feel like the narcissist is trying to kill me . Plus they won't let me have any privacy .

[@davesims7917]

@@craig3714 that’s terrible… I have a narcissist in my life to that tries to make my life a living hell many times and has no regard for my feelings. It can be very difficult to deal with.

[@SethNoorzad]

dope shirt brotha truly peace

[@lubnahelly5269]

Thank u

[@imkuntox]

hey man love the shirt

[@henrykkaufman1488]

Thanks for this. We need more messaegs like these. Tho heal ourselves and eventually, our culture.

[@anitabubic6094]

You are the wonder of nature, super cool and real human!

[@ravensky3330]

I love your shirt! Please don't ever change for anyone!! The bully comments are from all the cowards. You've got guts!! Love your personality. It's so much harder going against the grain

[@tessyong7596]

Seeing your same shirt gives me comfort. And I am glad that you are NOT wasting money buying clothes. Your presence and truth come through loud!!!!

[@dmackler58]

Thanks :)

[@LeonidSpartanKing]

Good video :)

[@glecrenn]

When it comes to personal choices such as clothing or hairstyle, I always say it doesn’t matter if you like it, what matters is that I like it. And if you don’t like it then FU

[@tbd5082]

Looking imperfect is a good thing. When someone judges me I say “so?”

[@pod9363]

I wonder, how does it make the people here feel to consider the possibility that their social anxiety may never go away? That it'll still be there in some form. Like consider how someone as dedicated and actualized as Daniel can still get social anxiety. Does anyone here really think it's ever gonna go away?

[@pod9363]

Not a womp-womp post but possibly, social anxiety isnt here to hurt us and treating it like an enemy is not valuing it.

[@krystle8534]

@@pod9363 I agree, I think the way to go is meeting sensitivity with acceptance rather than judgment.

[@efehansahin2172]

I KNEW IT DANIEL I KNEW IT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE