Top Social Anxiety Tips for Confidence!

Psychologist Dr. Ali's favorite exercises to help you overcome social anxiety disorder's fear of rejection, evaluation, and embarrassment.
Contents:
0:00 - Introduction
0:50 - Getting ready
1:10 - Core fears
3:30 - Fear of anxiety
5:41 - Social anxiety exercises
13:04 - Real feedback
Social anxiety disorder explained: • Social Anxiety Disorde...
Social anxiety disorder screening: • When is social anxiety...
Learn more:
- www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...
- adaa.org/understanding-anxiet...
- www.abct.org/fact-sheets/shyn...
- www.dbmhresource.org/uploads/2...
- www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
Connect with Ali:
Discord ► / discord
Twitter ► / alimattu​
Facebook ► / thepsychshow​
Instagram ► / alimattu​
TikTok ► / alimattuphd
Patreon ► / thepsychshow​
Email ► [e-mail]
Website ► alimattu.com/​
For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice. The information in this video was accurate as of the upload date, September 21, 2022.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- call 9-8-8 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
- call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: findahelpline.com/i/iasp
- text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit www.crisistextline.org
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

[@faisalarghandiwal7508]

My big fear is the fear of being seen anxious

[@drali]

That comes up a lot. Some exposures for that include telling someone you’re anxious or exaggerating the physical symptom of anxiety that you experience. If it’s sweating you’re concerned about, you can splash water on yourself. Or run in place and then go talk to someone.

[@glow2490]

What about the fear of being anxious & shaking in front of someone or freezing up?

[@wardahshahid2758]

😄

[@glow2490]

​@Alenabell Road to 70 subs! Right, that's why I'm asking about that specific one. I know what it means. 😊

[@oFancys]

Likewise :(

[@sergiomendoza3304]

My core fears are being judged by others and then leading to rejection/being alone and seen as a loser/weird. Thanks for the great video!

[@bhumikayady5739]

Sameeee 😢

[@dijanazdrnja3997]

Same

[@UrMom-6942]

Me too man. Hang in there

[@EmergingForward]

Yeah I relate. Sometimes it helps me to say to myself "It's none of my business what others think of me."

[@harristytydawg]

My fear is being judged. I didn’t use to be like this but moving to a different state in your early 20’s trying to make friends and having people ghost you with no reasoning you start to wonder if something is wrong with you. If you wonder enough, you actually start believing something is wrong with you which is what happened.

[@dreamer2774]

My biggest fear is that they will know I am weak and attack me... as it happened before. I feel like I always need to either become invisible or look scary/unapproachable and never make connections because that could also make me more vulnerable to them. Yeah, trauma-based fear of people is real.

[@akashverma5756]

Even thinking about these exercises makes me anxious.

[@j.r.1823]

I find them a bit much/ overwhelming as well. Much "smaller" situations would already trigger my anxiety enough... I think it's ok if we go slow and also adjust some exercises, to make them less intimidating. Or choose other, a bit less scary actions that would help us step out of our comfort zones. You're not alone!

[@user-vp7wv5lk1u]

@jessicaras4540except he won’t respond

[@weykzo7255]

when i hear about these exercises i want to burst out crying

[@weykzo7255]

like literally..it literally happened to me not a while ago

[@missoctober8859]

My social anxiety is worse around certain types of people. Anyone else relate?

[@drali]

I’d say that’s very common with social anxiety. Certain people can feel more safe while others seem like more of a threat.

[@Tunlence]

@@drali So true. Especially if a certain person or group of people makes you feel inferior, intimidated.

[@garbrah180]

I really relate to this. I've been trying to put myself in environments with people I feel afraid of. Maybe I'll give these exercises a try.

[@krisha5750]

I also have the same problem..I am so anxious around my relatives as I don't meet them on the daily basis..I really hope that one day I can be free from this 'social anxiety '

[@0FFICERPROBLEM]

Yes, kids and older people I'm more comfortable around, it's much worse with like young adults, around my age

[@amandavaldegas7500]

My issue stems from my habit of reading too much into body language and social cues. If I’m feeling good and confident and approach someone, and they look visibly uncomfortable or nervous I can’t help but shut down and it gets awkward very fast where I want to run away 😅 this comes to play more with people in a romantic scenario or people that are not as open or enthusiastically friendly with me. The sense of comfort is needed for me to navigate these situations.

[@AJ-qb1sx]

just wanted to say you’re beautiful haha

[@donatello9482]

@@AJ-qb1sx thanks bro

[@paperchasindude6578]

I’m exactly the same way

[@j.r.1823]

That's interesting. For me it's usually the opposite. When someone I approach seems nervous, it can help make me feel more confident, because it puts me in the "stronger" position. I usually have more issues when people come across as very confident, that can trigger my insecurities. (Even though, lately, as I have been learning a lot about narcissism, I learned that the people who seem overly confident oftentimes actually have a very fragile ego and knowing that helps me.)

[@Roseisinspired]

The biggest thing keeping people with social anxiety is often their mindset. These tips will actually help you, if you think the whole world is just judging only you, then you're wrong. I used to suffer from extreme SA and the only way I got rid of it was once a few years ago by drinking then eventually exposure to the things I was afraid of... It's not easy because it's a battle within yourself. SA is very hard to overcome when it's at it's strongest, but you have to be comfortable with being judged, and realizing at the end of the day you are completely normal, if not it's ok to be different. You must get to a point of being tired of being afraid that you will do anything to be normal. Accepting your anxiety and overcoming it is powerful, you need to be vulnerable in order to be strong sometimes. It's not a weakness or something to be ashamed of, you have to see yourself as a strong person for dealing with such a scary negative human emotion, and once you overcome it, you will feel stronger than most people.

[@aylinm.3589]

You're so right. Just now in this season of my life social anxiety is at its peak, I think it was never this bad actually. So much that even a coworker talked to me about it and then I told her about my struggles. I think she told some other people for my sake because now they all want to talk to me and they're all extremely nice so like you said I think you have to be vulnerable and I want to be able to talk about it and for people to understand, especially when being anxious makes me seem rude and uncaring. I'm also trying to overcome by challenging myself and some things are harder than others but I know ultimately I'm safe. Anyway God bless you and have a great weak 🥰

[@aliseyar4908]

My biggest fear is loneliness. I’ve lost friends last couple years. They were really close to me. It broke my heart so much, then consequently i feel i have to be funny to my friends and i crate clown mask. End of the day i would say this is not me, i’m not happy with current me. I want to be myself even i feel sad and lonely.

[@TOMB0I_1020]

♥️♥️♥️♥️u

[@fabiolisha]

I feel you

[@harivamshivallamkonda927]

I feel the same

[@imtiazadar5475]

Same

[@oldrap16]

Binging your videos and crying because it is such a relief to hear someone validate and articulate what I experience nearly every day. I would love to try some of the exposures but unfortunately the stakes and in turn, the fears are doubled because I live in a country where I'm not fluent in the language yet.

[@anniesoernym]

Maybe asking strangers to take a picture of you would be doable for you? You'd just seem like a tourist who knows at least _some_ of the language, which is something natives tend to be quite appreciate of. You also don't need to know the language to wear something funny/strange in public! (For me personally, though, that would still be harder, because I am uncomfortable with being looked at for an extended amount of time 🥴)

[@oldrap16]

@@anniesoernym You're so sweet thank you so much for the ideas! I absolutely hate having my photo taken but I could ask for directions or something like that. Wearing something strange would definitely be a HUGE challenge for me because I already feel like people are looking at me and judging me constantly. It would be my nightmare but maybe that means it's a good thing to try :)

[@faisalarghandiwal7508]

Try TRE exercises. I've got healed by this amazing thing

[@anshulagarwal7069]

Same here

[@venkateshgowda7853]

Same here

[@RyanScarbrough]

I'm afraid people will think I'm anxious and make them anxious. Then when they become anxious I become even more anxious. It's so sad. 🙁

[@aylinm.3589]

samee

[@Victory63219]

I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without psych medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.

[@ohmakure4716]

The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

[@dilara4130]

I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

[@dilara4130]

His name is *DR Adolf Petter*

[@ryancihet555]

@ohmakure4716 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

[@aydin6219]

@@dilara4130Does he deliver to various locations?

[@drali]

In case you’re wondering, Mario Kart DS is my favorite version.

[@B00s3]

I was wondering, my favorite is the SuperNES version. The nostalgia I get from that game is great.

[@j.r.1823]

I don't like video calls and talking to strangers can make me feel uncomfortable and insecure. I'm very proud of myself that I managed to chat with all of my sons teachers per video call for parent teacher conferences this week anyways! I was worried about moments of awkward silence or that I would come across as nervous or stumbling over my words/ saying weird things. But none of this really happened and I managed to stay pretty connected and even had some moments where I enjoyed the conversation. 😊

[@ocdandanxiety]

Love this! The more we face uncertainty and doubt and respond differently to it, the more confident and less anxious we become! 👍

[@drali]

Well said!

[@suqarlatte8691]

My core fear I think is people judging me for who I am, how I act and what I look like. I’m scared that in someone’s eyes I’m not good enough..? And that I’ll be rejected and left alone in all situations, although I do love being alone a lot of the times in my life. But Idk..

[@ZeCahli]

Same same same 😪

[@triciasmith2305]

Me too.

[@YourGuideToSelfLove]

These tips were actually very helpful thank you. I know other creators say that confidence is key which it is but sometimes you don’t feel confident all the time and want real answers. Definitely will be implementing these tips.

[@gurmita280]

Thank you so much. Your content is so underrated!

[@chiwizard11]

excellent video, thanks for taking us through the process

[@MapleWorldd]

Your tips are unique and exactly what i've been looking for. these tips give me anxiety yes, but also give me hope :) at least I learned that these situations do happen in real life and it's normal and it's fine! thank u so much, Dr. Ali.

[@joelgarcia3907]

I love this guy. Thank you for helping us all out

[@nikola4986]

Thank you for the video! Great work!

[@daviddimalanta259]

Core fear I had are shame, trauma from family-related issues and autism-related violence. It's also difficult especially in dating life and making new friends. Thoughts I might think for the worse includes getting arrested for saying a wrong word or harassment.

[@DriveFastEatGrass]

first step to cure your anxiety. Do what makes you anxious.

[@rebeccaaherrn3397]

The issue with exposure for me is not about actually trying them, but how to handle the consequences or the extreme cringe or awkwardness that follows. For instance, the scenario in a cafe, where if I order a coffee, and later tell them that I wanted a tea instead. What if they say no. Or what if they react rudely.

[@kumaresank4630]

Hey.. those are just examples. You should try on your own fears

[@levimark548]

​​@@kumaresank4630As far as I understood, she wrote, that the consequences are actually her fear. So if she should try on her own fears it wouldn't be an example anymore 🤷🏻‍♂️ Would be helpful if you have some ideas how to handle such situations ?

[@haonyoass9556]

Thank you so much for the social anxiety videos. Thank you so much

[@drali]

Thank you for your kind comment!

[@lotus8321]

Thank you so much....facing mind barriers intentionally with courage....thank you🙏

[@mnemoh]

Thank you. I did the core fear exercise and discovered (although I deep down already knew) that my core fears are that people will not accept me and I'll suffer consequences for being an outcast. I realize that living in my fear will inevitably push people away and my fears will come true and the cycle continues with me being more afraid. I think for me, instead of always thinking about what other people are thinking about me, I need to do the things I value doing and be the person who I want to be.

[@kman_34]

100%, same here

[@nffc3309]

One of the things I struggle with the most is when I am in a silent room/environment. I start to focus on myself and my breathing and any sound I make such as loud breathing or even dropping a pen I feel like will draw lots of attention to me which I don’t like.

[@drali]

Makes total sense. A big part of all anxiety based problems is learning how to be less focused on what’s inside you and more on what’s outside. That’s difficult when there isn’t much going on out there. It might help to remember “oh this is what my brain does when I’m in a silent room, it magnifies what I’m doing and what’s happening inside.”

[@nffc3309]

@@drali Thankyou for the reply! Your videos are really helping me and many others.

[@micilovesami]

I embarrasse myself daily, it will be hard to beat it :,) I have discovered your channel yesterday, it helps a lot, especially coming from someone who has been in our shoes. Thank you so much for sharing so many things with us!

[@Striving_soulz]

I want to do this to defeat my ego and do more exposure especially in social situations. Do you think embarrassing yourself has helped you learn more ?

[@myAPIcjourney]

My core fear is being rejected and criticized. I think people think I am boring or have nothing important to say. I also fesr people misinterpreting the meaning of what im saying and then getting angry

[@abrahammorales3266]

I love your advice!

[@outstandishing]

This video was so helpful! What I've noticed with myself is that all of these exercises, particularly for rejection or embarrassment, I would feel 100% more confident doing them if I had a friend with me who I'm very comfortable around. I wonder what to make of that...

[@shankyrajaofficial]

Amazing i will definitely try these exercises

[@foramthakkar1017]

Yeah ! I also feared of myself in socialising feel like I'm a weirdo and but got enough of attention in my school life to a anxious person is a bliss and sin itself . Want to cope up soon otherwise it's dangerous to yourself , pain is inevitable but misery is optional. Simple thing be kind to yourself .

[@echo5435]

For every exercise you said my brain just went: "but they'll be madddd"

[@GunShyGymnast]

Yes! Like…how do you get out that situation gracefully? Like…how many times do you ask to see Mr.Dunkin?

[@kirsten7883]

I’m going to try to ask more people how they feel about me and my social skills in group settings as this is where I feel most socially anxious.

[@jay_thebroker]

Doing dares does not make me anxious but its the one on one conversations when i need to talk about myself … it makes me sweat soo bad and i look so anxious no matter how hard i try to fight it

[@vifren9024]

All these are excelent exercises. I have overcame it for the most part but when I get away from social situations it comes back. The only positive things is that I know for sure how to overcome it now. Its just time and effort but its easier as I know that its possible.

[@AviationPilot91]

So great to know that I'm not alone, though, it seems everyone else who experiences this are online.

[@j.r.1823]

Most people are just more comfortable expressing their anxieties online, it's so much easier than showing that side of yourself in real life. Trust me, there are a lot of people with such issues everywhere around in real life too. Some people are very good at hiding it, but lots of people have mental struggles, in one way or another, including anxiety. You're definitely not alone.

[@matthewnaldzin4642]

thank you for the video Dr. Ali. I am really enjoying your videos about SAD. I guess my hesitation or lack of motivation is that I think I am more comfortable being socially anxious than doing any of the CBT techniques discussed. I just don't want to pull other people into my struggle and ruin their day.

[@drali]

Glad you’ve found these videos helpful! For motivation it’s totally fine if someone doesn’t want to change the current situation. To clarify this you could make a list of things you currently like about your social anxiety. Next you can make a list of things you like less about it. Then rank 0-10 how much you want to change it now. If this is a time you’re happy with the way things are and motivation is low, that makes total sense and don’t put any pressure on yourself to make a change you don’t want to or need to. If your fear is about ruining someone else’s day by doing any of these things, that is definitely a part of social anxiety. Most people who don’t have social anxiety, while they might not seek out these types of situations, would be able to do them and not worry that they have ruined someone’s day. And if that is a big concern for you, focus on the exercises that have less of an impact on someone else. You could wear something embarrassing, play a guitar in public, write a typo, ask someone to take your photo. All of these things are normal parts of living in a community.

[@evexing779]

Hey, just discovered your channel. Thank you for your work, I wish you had more views! I've found so many answers to my questions

[@drali]

Impact is worth more than views 😎 Thanks for being part of the community!

[@Sixty0h4]

I've found that my core fear is being unsuccessful. I feel like I've been alright so far, and I guess I don't want to mess that up.

[@drali]

That's understandable. If you haven't had much experience with setbacks that feel like a failure, those experiences can be scary.

[@noorjahanmansoori5628]

When i try sharing thoughts , no one listens to me. That's my fear of going unheard

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

This is great! Get to what's fueling the social anxiety underneath ❤

[@katerynasmyrnova4373]

thank you! Now I know a new word - selfsuiting!

[@nitulrajak1401]

Thanks sir it's really helpful ❤

[@monigiselle2140]

I was doing the exercise, and I have a few core beliefs fears like a combination of rejected, embarrassed, and criticized.

[@anniesoernym]

What makes me really uncomfortable about some of the excercises you proposed is that by doing them I would be inconveniencing other people. I'm not sure that's something I should do 😕

[@ErebosGR]

Yeah, some of them seem like pulling pranks on people just so you can feel better...

[@drali]

People bring up that concern a lot. Something to remember is people with social anxiety have a MUCH lower threshold for what is considered inconveniencing someone. Most people who have it think nearly any request they make of someone else is an inconvenience. That being said, usually there are versions of these you can do that are bringing about the attention on yourself and also don’t inconvenience anyone. For example, dressing up in embarrassing clothing doesn’t hurt anyone else. Playing a guitar in public doesn’t. Neither does asking someone to take your photo. They’re all just part of living in a socially connected community.

[@anniesoernym]

@@drali_"Most people who have [social anxiety] think nearly any request they make of someone else is an inconvenience."_ Oh! Well, if that doesn't describe me to a T 😅🙈

[@drali]

Takes one to know one :-)

[@gaborkiss1425]

@@drali "Something to remember is people with social anxiety have a MUCH lower threshold for what is considered inconveniencing someone." Excellent point here, never thought of that this way :O

[@samuelmyllyaho6066]

The anxious picture looks more confident XD. anyway, your content sure means a lot to people. Be proud!

[@Nature-zu3tc]

This guy is a genius. I got this, I mean we got this. Let’s gooo

[@appythakre]

Sometimes making conversations makes me feel tired than I feel on completing my 3km run

[@TiftofDel]

i feel same way

[@Phoenix_7568]

One thing that helped me was just doing stuff alone, like going to a coffee shop or a movie. I’ve even been to a concert alone. Had a great time with myself and I wasn’t anxious 🙂🤘

[@danielmoore9214]

I prefer this style of solution oriented stuff 😃

[@zachkuvinka2968]

Just lost my gf primarily to this. Killing the vibe in public always scared to be myself around new people. I truly hope this videos helps me solve my problem and learn to live a better way of life.

[@peetabread171]

I have become very interested in politics the last few years. One thing that helped me last summer was petitioning! I had to ask hundreds of people if they wanted to "sign my petition so my candidate can get on the ballot in November". It took my out of my comfort zone and with my main core fear being rejection, it helped me practice that too. I definitely had people tell me no, I also had people who asked questions and I didn't know how to answer. It was amazing exposure therapy and it always felt so good afterwords. Petitioning is great too because you still feel a sense of accomplishment. even if I had 100+ rejections I still got many that said "yes". My advice, even if you don't like politics, find a local independent political party that needs help collecting signatures . the exposure to rejection, criticism, and embarrassment are real but it's so rewarding to have the accomplishment of collecting signitures AND facing your fear

[@michaelb2279]

Thank you for stepping up to help someone run for office!

[@Mushroom321-]

AWESOME EXAMPLE S!!!! TO pick from !!!😮

[@humbertogamarrajr.3971]

Dc Ali thank you for all your awesome videos. Really helpful! One of my biggest fears is that people notice that I’m anxious specially when my mouth articulation changes from normal to nervous and weird ( self-concours/restrained). This makes me desconect from people and to make NO eye contact with the person I’m talking to at hat moment. So embarrassing and frustrating… What should I do? What exercises should I try? How can I talk in a relaxed manner? Thank you so much !!❤

[@lizzykamau8163]

Thanks alot I will use your technics

[@marylnmonroe]

this is awesome

[@1bcordell]

What sucks is that I want to get better, but I absolutely do not want to go into public and expose myself in an embarrassing way. This is what makes me feel so stuck. These kind of tips really make me feel like I am doomed to be an outcast the rest of my life.

[@Untouched77]

You dont have to do that. I was scared to go into grocery stores and pay but ive taught myself to do that, making my anxiety better, and i didnt do anything embarassing. just do things youre scared of, small steps at a time

[@davidwhitcher1972]

I don't connect to people ever. I could speak to someone all evening and in the end feel nothing for them.

[@ipurnima]

Really helpful thanks🙂🙂

[@drali]

Glad it helped!

[@christina6656]

Thank you so much for bringing this subject to light. So many people have no idea what social anxiety is! They just think it's being withdrawn and shy. I became aware of my social anxiety about 2 years ago. I've lived with social anxiety pretty much my entire life. Its been completely crippling at times. I've had so many big dreams smothered by the likes of social anxiety. I've been working with a therapist for the past year or so but I just don't feel like I'm getting much out of it anymore. I need more help with social anxiety specifically and talking about my feelings and my week isn't cutting it. Not to say it hasn't helped me but I feel like I need something different, something more targeted. Do you have any suggestions? I would love to find a Doctor with your level of experience in this matter.

[@drali]

Glad the video was helpful! Try looking here (services.abct.org/i4a/memberDirectory/index.cfm?directory_id=3&pageID=3282) and here (members.adaa.org/page/FATMain) for a therapist that does this type of treatment.

[@kulsoomashraf2190]

Hi Doctor Ali Mattu ! My anxiety stems from the fact that I don't articulate myself well. I end up being misunderstood so often that I feel lazy correcting people.

[@pradnyakadam7336]

I have similar challenges

[@imaginareality]

Of all the examples in this video, the one that really made me cringe was going up to a stranger and greeting them as if I know them. I think one of my fears is to get something that should be obvious wrong and then embarrass myself. I get really anxious when I have to wish people a happy birthday (because what if I got the date wrong?) or when I have to by a bus ticket from the bus driver (what if I pronounce the name of the bus stop wrong and/or get on the wrong bus?). Also, two years ago I had a garden and barely used it because it made me really anxious to think about being observed while in my garden (what if I mow the lawn in a weird way or do something else that's wrong?).

[@tigerfordinner]

Instead of greeting strangers, start with a smile. I started to practise smiling and its really giving me benefits. Try smiling all the time whether you feel like it or not. Its a very gentle smile on the lips, not forcing much. Your brain releases feel good hormones when you practise it.

[@yaboisartre5844]

11:05 if you freeze this frame it looks like he’s teaching people how to be a menace 😂😂

[@gloriayoga]

Hey Dr Ali. I think some social anxiety is from hearing loss. It contributes to mine. Hearing aids seem to be the answer, but they are way less than perfect even when you get top of the line.

[@lauraoshiro6897]

This video is great!! But if anyone tries to follow up every single tip that is given (those practical exercises), that person is actually gonna end up being hated 😅 😂 But I feel good after watching this, it's nice to see people who have been through the same problem giving tips and solutions, cause I often feel lost and can't find a way out of this

[@fyr3st0rm65]

my core fear is... people thinking i'm too angry all the time

[@lynnetnjokiwainaina4492]

My Core fear is been Judged by other people I never had Social Anxiety I just developed it by been isolated from people.

[@sallybutler1005]

I think lockdown caused mine.

[@SubhalaxmiGarg]

I am quite introvert . I don't why it makes me shy when I face guests or talking to strangers. Even it has become difficult talking to relatives😢but I talk with my friends and parents without any fear. I will try these tips

[@BBaum05]

Trying to get off SSRIs I have had two major panic attacks. There were no triggers. Now I live in fear of these happening any time l leave the house, I've also developed claustrophobia. Long drives alone, I'll have anxiety attacks.

[@user-mj1bn2gr1m]

Hi Dr. I can't find this video you mentioned- how to start overcoming anxiety with exposure

[@salma-amlas]

My core fear is that I'm a coward. If i am a coward, i am afraid of standing up for myself, standing up for others, doing what's right. I am scared that people will know I am weak, which will reduce my value from their POV. Which means I will be worthless to them. All my achievements won't matter.

[@theunknown2725]

I want to try exposure therapy, specifically asking someone what their favorite show is or some other form of survey.

[@illumiNateX7]

Hey Ali, your favorite Facebook commenter here! Just an idea, I feel like your channel name should be more specific to what you do, like The Psych Show is what drew me in, but if I saw Doctor Ali I wouldnt exactly know what you do off the bat, and youtube is heavily visual with a lot of competition so you wanna stand out as clearly and quickly as possible! I know name changes are hard and very thought out, but i just wanted to voice my opinion on it. Either way I will stick around just trying to help you grow as much as possible brother, much love!

[@drali]

I def feel you on this. I loved "the psych show" but for years I've received feedback from other folks to shift over to Doctor Ali. Whenever I am in person no one used the name "the psych show" but they did always call me Doctor Ali. I also want this to be a channel that has lots of different 'show" formats - explainers, reactions, and reviews. The Psych Show sounded a bit more limiting there. Lastly, I'm diving more into mental health and less into broader psychology topics.

[@illumiNateX7]

@@drali as I figured a lot of time and thought was put in, and I totally understand what you’re saying, and I can’t wait for the broader topics, I love the stuff you cover! Keep it coming brother 🙌🏼

[@chrisgalindo3055]

Recently, my graphic design work was redone (I had ask for feedback mutliple times and did revisions). Once it went to Social Media Dept, it was redone with what I feel are revisions done by a 1st year computer science student. My fear was I was going to make it look that awful because this was my first time doing something for our Dept. Im still upset about it because it went countywide.

[@zimplezarah09]

My core fears are: abandonment and rejection. It always happened to me. It hurts that the people Itusted most chose to leave me and not to be part of their life anymore.

[@reshmagurung9525]

So I just have to get myself in such situations that trigger my fears? Will that really help? And how?

[@flymypg]

"Make friends with it". Yes, indeed. When I was a newly graduated and hired engineer, I was immediately given higher-level responsibilities because I had worked my way through college while working part-time at that company. I had received so much support and flexibility there, that it directly contributed to my academic success (as did the pay, as I was an independent student). I had to present my designs in Design Review meetings, where peers and management would review my work and offer suggestions. To me, these "suggestions" felt like rejection, harsh criticism, attacks even. A huge change compared to the pre-graduation relationship. My anxiety and stress raged. I began visibly sweating, fidgeting and exhibited many of the other signs of panic. Finally, in one meeting, unable to contain myself further, I broke down and started "ugly crying". My boss took me aside and gently helped us both understand what was going on, and what we could do about it. The underlying cause was clearly my warped perception of what absolutely was very constructive criticism. This was before I started to receive effective treatment for my depression, so I was dealing with that as well. I was basically a crunchy depressed core within a fluffy anxiety wrapper. The conversation took me to a very simple place. Before interacting with ANYONE on a professional basis, I'd repeat a simple mantra: "I NEED feedback to succeed. I LOVE criticism!" This put me in a near-ideal receptive listening state, encouraging me to "lean in" to the criticism, to try to obtain all I possibly could from the interaction. This change in perspective triggered an enormous change in my professional demeanor and conduct. In particular, it encouraged me to go the extra mile when delivering my own feedback, making me a much better collaborator. The anxiety was still there, deprived of its power, though it did still serve to keep me on my toes! Friends with criticism? Sure. Then it turned into a superpower.

[@frankk9105]

Even imagining myself doing these exercises makes me anxious😭😭

[@imnsopher]

When I'm anxious, I'm afraid people think I am wrong and mediocre. Guess I have some serious perfectionism problem.

[@user-dk7jl8pd5j]

core fear: ppl will misunderstand and misjudge me, spread lies what will destroy me, and eventually nobody will see the real me. Now this is complex, and im just realizing.

[@nidamukhtar8277]

LOL I loved this!!!!! NOt gonna do it but fun to keep in mind. Thank you Ali!

[@asraf497]

Hi Dr.Ali I am a college student. My anxiety and fear is When I entering the other class When I meet a crowd and when I talking with girls How do I overcome?

[@joerenner1649]

My biggest fear it getting taken advantage of and the humiliation of being taken advantage of

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

This is a big one brother. Have you had this fear for a long time?

[@saifzia1078]

My fear is being scared of harm from others and thinking that people will take advantage of me if they know that

[@j.r.1823]

To be honest, I find the exercises you mention pretty advanced/ a bit much. For me, much smaller situations would already challenge me enough. So I was thinking about how to adjust those exercises and make them a little "smaller", less intimidating and more doable. I do like how you present your video though, you are very clear and to the point and give very valuable advice overall.

[@qaziali3561]

Dude you're a genios

[@rosendoperez6677]

“Let’s go around introduce ourselves “

[@SSEL_RAEF]

When I'm socially anxious, I'm afraid people think I am dramatic When people see me as dramatic, I'm worried that they won't like me and think of me as an example of the type person they severely hate. I don't want people to dislike or hate me. I don't want to dissapoint others expectations. It suggests that I'm too weak

[@shubhamgusain9454]

I have health anxiety but in anxiety I have sweating a lot and i focus more on it it cause my social anxiety because I thought if I sweat in front of them it really embrassing

[@DontAskMePlease830]

Mine is so bad, i feel like people might call me names, my heart begins to pump so hard like it's going to pop out of my chest😢

[@naimaali1144]

Hi I did have social anxiety for very long time I wonder if you do digital therapy

[@justsaying8753]

I believe, overall, it's a strong fear of shame.

[@zabeehullah7726]

My core fear is that when ever I set with bunch of people or friends and they all r looking to me and when they smile or target me than I get out of control and my mouth become shivering and feeling crying

[@John26767]

I'm not a health professional and the group I represent is purely a peer self-help group, but I wonder if the deeper issue is one of security of self... Someone with a strong perception of themself, their worth etc. can weather the storms of social interaction. I wonder if addressing the fears is more surface level than actually addressing core perception of oneself. Again I'm not a health professional etc. I just put this out there for discussion etc. Just to add I believe core perception of oneself can be addressed through healthy conversation with those with the right attributes. To get out into the open the very things that someone allows to hold themself back is in itself facing fears. Again I purely put this out there for discussion. 🙂

[@drali]

I talk about this in the previous video on social anxiety (kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJXShJqGh8qSndk) but people who struggle with this often have a core fear that there is something wrong with them, that they will embarrass themselves, that they'll be rejected, things like that. A lot of what you gain through exposure work is a more realistic understanding of those fears, your identity, and your ability to deal with rejection.

[@Escobar720]

Thank you but no thank you 😂 I’ll die if I do any of these

[@kyokazuto]

Same