Confronting Sexual Abusers (with Dr. Gavriel Fagin) | THAT'S AN ISSUE Podcast - Episode 7

[@Life_42]

Dr. Gavriel Fagin is a hero who helped so many people!

[@MPW66]

I was kidnapped at 10 years old by a stranger for an afternoon who sexually abused me and took me back close to where he took me. I've never been in therapy. Expensive and the idea scare me opening a Pandora box not knowing what I will find. I find your talk really enlightening. I recognized myself in your explanations even though I'm a woman. Thank you

[@lulyluly7739]

If I would have any think to give I would have done it for this purpose

[@Raminakai]

Thank- you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you and prayers for you to find a free or affordable counselor to unpack this extremely traumatic event in your life. I know someone else this happened to, and nothing was done to bring any justice. I wonder how many other children have lived through this nightmare, and how many offenders have never been caught, or even reported? You are brave and I thank the Lord you survived and I believe you will heal.

[@Raminakai]

Thank- you for being willing to talk about this highly sensitive confusioning issue. Excellent guest, and I am so glad that he is helping men, boys and men often get overlooked.

[@souled4542]

As someone who has never been sexual abused myself I can lightly sympathise with abusers. What triggers me passionately is the injustice and systemic coverups that go on particularly in our communities. Not necessarily out of Malicious intent but rather commonly out of ignorance on the subject of trauma and abuse. It’s also unfortunately common in homes to have unhealthy subconscious mottos such as “Look good” or “be good” rather than “are you good”. Where the primary notion is to seem healthy for outside appearances while not necessarily dealing with the what’s not so healthy with me appropriately. This lack of confrontation is usually on the expensive of someone’s soul. As the public, we have to celebrate our issues and amend our old school approach of avoidance. And Celebrate in the sense of transparency and continue neutralisation of the taboo. The Torah clearly states לֹא תַעֲמֹד עַל דַּם רֵעֶךָ Do not stand by idly when your fellows blood is being spilled. We should take responsibility when no one does and create change for the better of tomorrow.

[@newsigmundfreud3023]

*One of the things in life that must be addressed and taken care of. Thanks.*

[@layasaul28]

I'm so surprised how "few" views this has compared to the other episodes. According to Dr Fagin it's on in 5 men, maybe one on four. I believe it's *at least* that for women. It's endemic in our society and if anyone can help in healing this issue--including healing their own trauma--it makes a difference. I wrote a book for teens and while I was in the process I got a note from a peer counselor who begged me to address the issue of sexual abuse. She told me that most of the people that came to her were other teens dealing with this pain. (I did get the chapter in. That said, there are new ways that kids are being abused ONLINE.) We have to be aware. Thank you for this important episode.

[@rebeckamimmi8943]

Good job working with the cases no one wants to deal with. Rabbi/Dr and Lord? What’s next 😊🥂

[@guiller2371]

Sexual abuse is a crime. No religious institution should carry with such curse. They should handle those people to authorities.

[@avilandau5618]

Wow this made me open my eyes

[@barbarabrooks4747]

The worst thing is that people with inappropriate, criminal desires cannot easily get help. There is medication to help sex addiction, if that's the person's problem. I think teenagers should be educated about what behavior is wrong, recognizing obsessions and getting help. If medication and therapy are started in the teen years, maybe a teen can be stopped before he offends.

[@devorahklein2129]

As a child and family therapist with a large "frum" population I have a specific issue that I have come up against. I am now closing my practice, getting older, and writing on various parenting/development issues. Am now doing a piece on male sexual abuse victims who are now married. How can I reach Dr. Fagen to discuss this issue?

[@LivingLchaim]

Hi Devorah. We are happy to connect you. Please send an email to [e-mail]

[@azikbear]

There are not enough comments on this video. If you found this informative, drop a comment so other people can see this too, you know how the algorithm works.

[@rebeckamimmi8943]

I believe this podcast and this conversation in particular is very important, but not right here. Your community is being brave but it’s not necessary right now, like this. You need to introduce yourself to the world and the outsiders that are interested and with good intentions by sharing what’s good, noble, beautiful, spiritual and wonderful first. But I commend you, you are so brave!

[@Anne-mn3rh]

I disagree. Abuse occurs in every community; talking about it just means a community is acknowledging that reality and trying to do something about it. Raising awareness is the key to preventing future abuse and to ensuring victims get help - this episode may very well save someone's life. That's the most beautiful, spiritual, noble thing a person can do.

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