Controlling Rumors and Gossip - Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

[@MarineMike77]

Totally agree. This talk reminds me of a chapter in Simon Sinek's book Leaders Eat Last. Another great leadership book.

[@jdhsingi]

Praise in public, criticize is private.

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

I might suggest that the biggest single missing component here is the understandable difference between "being tactful" in assessments and "kissing ass"... Tact is a quality, in leadership, that provides the leader (no matter the scope or rank of leadership) to utilize vocabulary as well as social skills in his position. The social skills include picking the place and time for a given subject to be discussed, like criticism being best done privately. Vocabulary is the difference between debasing or insulting someone for short-comings and articulating a short-coming as just that... a short-coming, so it can be dealt with in a "problem --> solution" sequence or train of thought. Being able to effectively own the situation for better or worse is as transparent as a person really NEEDS to get. Once you've owned it for worse, cut your own nose when you could throw anyone else under the bus, you gain a reputation for honesty. The more often you show that crucial trait, the more trust EVERYONE inherently invests in you. Sooner than later, with that dynamic in the group, the "Rumor-mill" grinds to a halt. Sure, there's always going to be someone who makes ridiculous claims... They'll enjoy a very short term of being able to "make sh*t up" and then someone will bring it to your attention... AND you'll be able to state in front of the entire group, "For the record..." and the group accepts and BELIEVES your account on the matter... simple as that. The "trouble-maker" finds himself (or herself) sinking in a self-created despair, because that's the end of the "Rumor-milling"... I've seen it, myself. I practice it, myself. I'm well known (by those who spend any time around me at all) for phrasing like, "What can I say, I'm stupid." OR "How many different ways can I say, 'I f***ed up'?" Or even "Yep, the difference between genius and stupidity is apparently, genius has its limits." AND it's not just self-deprecation. I don't blithely constantly insult myself to "dig for complements"... I show enough restraint to give some style when I take responsibility for a colossal fail. When it's a text-book result of stupidity on my part, I say so. AND that kind of reputation sticks. It's very VERY hard to break it. Bottom line? (TL;DR) Couldn't agree more. Could suggest a bit more discussion on the finer points of being effectively TACTFUL, though... it's a great subject worth a solid focus, if I'm being honest. ;o)

[@genkishooto]

Socratic rumor shut-down. 1. “Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say is true?” 2. "Is what you want to say something good or kind?” 3. "Is this information useful or necessary to me?”

[@Rafaelnewyorkcity]

Had to watch this twice. Good stuff.

[@theleozambrano]

sometimes sharing the truth is the toughest challenge there is for us,humans. Extreme Ownership, though

[@WhoIsAmaze]

I'm sitting here eating Doritos when I should be at the gym getting after it

[@BradPitbull]

WhoIsAmaze need more intel are they original or tapatio flavor?????

[@hvargas1980]

im eating peanut butter m&ms lol

[@hvargas1980]

Sadly no. I'm eating healthier injust don't make time to exercise lol

[@warkocstarbra2332]

Good. Good to hear you, gents.

[@willstorts5835]

I'm recovering from a really bad accident. So I can't get after it. But when in doubt, embrace the suck.

[@GodBlessPFLP]

Snitch on the gossipers; rat them out and tell them you’ll rat them out. Nuff said.

[@mete3254]

Pure wisdom

[@greg1wolf]

Great podcast! Praise in public...criticize/lead in private.

[@SunfireSol]

Any advice for gossip and rumors between the employees who try to sabotage or undermine?

[@MarineMike77]

SunfireSol Warn them once, if that doesn't work fire them. The people who aren't apart of the rumor problem will lose respect for you if you don't take of it. Just my opinion.

[@collinniedermann6965]

Perception IS R E A L I T Y.

[@gardenroom65]

Collin Niedermann no, it’s perception

[@tntexplosivefighter]

A real boss!

[@tmfo125]

Transparency vs tact. Tricky, but tact should dissolve based on the potential consequence of the mistakes. Think sniper compared to carpet bomb. Sometimes you just need to drop it all. Sometimes one shot is all it takes.

[@brandensmith7703]

Yut!!!!!!!

[@ziloe]

I normally like what you have to say, Jocko. But, this one didn't make any sense in that it does nothing to dispel bullshit. What if someone is actively trying to get you fired or worse, based off hearsay or spite? How do you deal with that when the narrative is often to just ignore it, because you're apparently guilty if you defend yourself?

[@ziloe]

Did I not say the narrative is often to ignore it? How do you outperform, when people have already decided who you are, for you?

[@thinkingagain5966]

ziloe the problem is your caring to much about what other people think of you

[@ziloe]

Yeah... you really don't get it. You can't ignore it or simply "stop caring", if people are actively trying to destroy your social life, like an ex partner spreading malicious rumours, etc

[@TheWaterCooler-1]

@ziloe I think i understand where you are coming from. I have been in environments where there is extreme bullying, gossip and other awful things. It's not so much 'outperforming', because in this particular situation that may come across as though you are above them right? Continue to outperform but what I can suggest is also giving people an opportunity, if there is one, to get to know you. When it comes down to it most people feel sympathy and guilt when they are put in a position of discomfort, which in this case is you presenting your personality to them. If they dont, then they are clinical sociopaths or psychopaths. There was once a girl at work who accused me of something terrible because she overheard me talking and heard everything i said out of context. She complained to management, we talked and I was terribly apologetic. But she took none of that and spread to everyone at work that I was this awful thing that I knew I wasnt. Suffice to say it was awful. No one asked me about it but talked about me behind my back for months. What happened some years later was interesting. This girl had quit her job but her closest friend at work was still there. I started befriending this friend until one day she asked me, 'you know I believed what she said about you but now that i know you, i realise it's not true'. This is just one example. Another suggestion would be to confront the person. This is tricky because it can be negative or positive depending on the receptiveness of the individual you are dealing with. Sometimes people believe they can get away with behaving in a certain way until you tell them directly that what they are doing is morally wrong and weak. Hope this helps :-)

[@KarmasAbutch]

You’re spot on … this is the very essence of a smear campaign / death by 1000 tiny cuts (of gossip) / mobbing in the workplace. These guys seem to have completely missed just how Machiavellian and sophisticated the gossip game can get in a toxic workplace - especially with uneven power dynamics at play. By the time you learn about smearing it gone on long enough to be believed and to spread… how the fuck do you get there first? Responding with your truth just looks defensive and like you’re overcompensating because it landed on target. You’re fucked either way. It’s time for offensive tactics, strategy and IEDs of your own. Don’t react, ATTACK.