Conversations I've actually had on calls as a Paramedic and Firefighter.

[@chadthompson5021]

My all time favorite was "I know my house is on fire but could you take off your boots before you go inside"?

[@HM2SGT]

O. M. G. Dispatched to a residence for LOLFDGB & TMB; Her daughter gave me more information about the dogs cancer and toilet habits then about her mothers condition. Then she was really sweating whether not we were going to damage the furniture or a wall with the cot!😳🙄🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️😩

[@unity679]

I had a shoe run recently at a house that had a "please remove your shoes" sign. The house was a filthy shit hole, there was NO WAY I was going to take my shoes off.

[@dynamicworlds1]

**just blinks in stunned silence**

[@m1n3craftPCtut0r1al]

@@HM2SGT what's a LOLFDGB

[@soonerfrac4611]

Just outside of town is a what qualifies as a “mountain” in our area & it has an observation platform at the top. Well, a guy fell down the side a ways. Patient presented with LOC and general bumps and cuts, can’t remember but might have had a slight fracture to the tibia. The big thing was it appeared he had been paralyzed during the fall. When he came to later on in the hospital they were explaining everything to him and then broke the bad news about the paralysis. Imagine the surprise on the doctor’s faces when he asked if his wheelchair was OK! He’d been paralyzed for years!

[@carolinamurtha3102]

My favorite from my EMT husband: when asking about a patients recreational drug use. The patient vehemently denied any use even though there was a high level of suspicion. Finally my husband is like “sir, I’m not the police, I’m not your parents, I’m not going to get you in trouble. I just need to know if you took anything so we don’t accidentally kill you.” Turns out, he took ALL the drugs.

[@tothemaxx1991]

If dude took a urine test the bottle would catch fire XD

[@Halo_Legend]

My MZ from my GOGD's EMDB during a RMA SCPDA: "honey, do you know where my ZMDPPSLCK is? / yes, my sweet sweet FOBOR, it's in the DASMAR next to DRRANGDP!"

[@slc1161]

More than once I’ve had that conversation. Retired now from critical care / emergency nursing. Getting cussed out for giving Narcan and wrecking a $50 high. Having both security and some paramedics surround a patient prior to giving Narcan and having them wake up extremely combative and he was almost 7 feet and all muscle. We’d have to restrain him when he came in because he’d mix drugs.

[@kyo-nil9310]

roflmao

[@forestxander]

I'm a chronically, terminally ill woman in my 50s. It can be very hard to get an iv going with the dehydration, scarring and valves. I happen to be poor and live in the projects. I had an emt say, "Lotta scarring here, this from when you used to shoot up a lot of drugs?" Nice. I've never shot up in my life. What an ahole thing to say to someone in extreme pain. Assume it's drugs due to my address. Sickening.

[@snakeplissken3063]

My Mom is a senior citizen and she fell once and the local firefighters showed up to help her out. When she fell, she was doing laundry, and her underwear went all over the room. She was embarrassed having her delicates thrown all over the place and a bunch of strangers seeing it. After the firefighters got her straightened out, they could tell she was embarrassed and one of them said; "That must have been some party!" She laughed so hard she almost fell again. She tells everyone that story.

[@Nellbae]

This made me chuckle. Glad she was ok though!

[@janimayares8086]

@@Nellbae Same.

[@jodoodlyboi2963]

Hahaha that's wholesome! 😄

[@gailpippin9761]

That was the most charming story! My situation was not the same, but about the courtesy of the paramedics. Backstory is that I'd suffered 3 herniated discs in my lower back, resulting in bilateral leg weakness and the inability to "push off" with just my legs - I need arms on a chair to be able to use my arm strength to help. I am also a rather large woman. Until this incident, I was able to navigate around the house, just using a counter in the kitchen, as a for instance, to maintain balance. Well, one evening, I was on my way out of the bathroom, turned the corner into the living room, and one of my legs suddenly gave out and I ended up on the floor. Because my husband has a bad back and knees stemming from years in the military plus my ...ahem...extra avoirdupois, he could not assist me. We tried a number of ways to get me up, but because of my leg weakness, it just couldn't be done. Hubby called 911 for a 'lift assist' from the volunteer fire department. They brought in a stairl chair that's actually for use on steps, lowered it as much as they could, and the 2 men had to d3ea lift my fat butt onto it while the woman pushed the seat under me. They pushed me to my regular chair, raised the chair stair to get me up, and from there, I was able to get to my chair. I was so damned embarrassed and I kept apologizing, but they were all so gracious, which made me feel better. As an aside, I now use my walker at all times in the house which is a tough pill to swallow as I've always been independent,.

[@alrightyru]

600th Like! 🙌🇨🇦 great story!

[@dereklea1183]

True story, our engine company was toned out to an abused woman’s shelter for a woman in labor. When we arrived, there was a group of about 12 women standing outside under a gazebo that was covering some picnic tables. They were surrounding the pregnant woman and offering moral support to her. These women were… I’ll be polite, kinda big. I exited the engine with the jump bag and as I approached the group I paused. I looked at every one of them and asked, “Okay, which one of you is pregnant?” Although I was serious and didn’t think about my choice of words before I spoke, they all laughed and parted away from the patient. As they were laughing one of them said, “She’s the one that’s pregnant, we’re all just fat!” Everyone on the machine, and all the women, burst out in laughter. The patient made it to the hospital in time to deliver her baby.

[@gold4963]

That's a pretty happy ending.

[@kinshard6005]

24k gold right there

[@brandoncaldwell95]

Least they took it light heartedly. Thats ine hell of a change.

[@jiujitsutj9994]

God that could've gone way worse. Glad they were all good sports about it tho, and definitely glad the baby and mom were okay.

[@gentlemanmadness607]

12 women.... And not a single Karen?!...... Weird..... Edit: my B... I forgot for a sec that a keren is to self centered to be helping another women going into labor....

[@Flufferz626]

I was having a stroke and insisted I will not leave til my cat was accounted for, fed and his litterbox brought inside. Then again my request was more like "mmmmuh caaat. Feed...poop." The paramedics obliged. God bless y'all.

[@Jupiter-T]

That's really sweet that you thought of your cat in that situation.

[@mahbuddykeith1124]

Did the paramedics feed your cat poop?

[@Flufferz626]

@@mahbuddykeith1124 thankfully not, but they did give him food to the brim of his bowl and he scarfed and barfed it. I'm still thankful for that little bit they did.

[@EddVCR]

I’m so glad you’re okay, man!!

[@helenamcginty4920]

In my long ago UK nurse training we learned that an anxious patient will recover more slowly and be in more pain. It can just be that they are worried about their pet at home alone.

[@AlphaCid85]

I've had so many of these exact conversations. One I clearly remember was a male in his 20's trying to refuse medical service. "Sir, you're bleeding... you've been stabbed in the chest..." "You can't make me go if I don't want to." Fortunately, there was a wise cop on scene who said "Your lungs may be damaged and your brain might not be getting enough oxygen to make rational decisions, so I'm taking you into protective custody, and they're transporting you to the hospital."

[@Ghost-ce9tw]

Smart guy indeed

[@soleilcrawford1476]

That is clever call

[@inceneration]

Only issue with this comment. A police officer does not have the medical education to make that statement or diagnose. So never happend sry.

[@RubenTheCartographer]

@@inceneration try reading it one more time. "... and they're transporting you to the hospital." This conversation was clearly between medical personal from an ambulance and a cop, at the location where the young guy got stabbed .. they medics obviously talked with the officer and thus he knew what was going on.

[@Noobiis]

robbery

[@GreatGamer28]

Honesty is the best policy when dealing with paramedics. Because they have seen, heard, and possibly done worse than you could ever imagine

[@XraynPR]

also, dishonesty might just kill you "No Sir, I haven't taken any drugs the last 4 hours"

[@manubishe]

Kinky.

[@Rick0430]

At least twice...

[@laura121684]

This. I have a family member that used to be an EMT, and trust me, they have _definitely_ seen worse. If you're the worst case that they've ever seen, then the only thing on their minds in that moment is saving your life, not judging you.

[@laura121684]

@@bostonrailfan2427 There are, sadly, people out there like that. There are also people that don't recognize that alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco are drugs too, and if you've consumed too much of any of them (or combined them with other substances), they can cause huge problems.

[@WardyLion]

“Nothing ever gets there by accident so why don’t you tell me what really happened?” “Ok! A paramedic shoved it up there after I called them out saying I had chest pains when all I wanted was for them to get me a water from the fridge…”

[@AtarahDerek]

That's one heck of an enema.

[@figo3554]

@@AtarahDerek Lmao

[@BgDgMMK9]

Brilliant! Well played!!!

[@indodinoyoutube]

@@AtarahDerek 🤣

[@erika89765]

BAHAHAHAHAHA

[@zoobatzjr371]

My mom is a nurse and works in the ICU unit. She specifically deals with neuro stuff as it's her specialty. One time on a trip to Florida some guy has what we would learn to be a stroke. Well they ask for a doctor and my mom hits the call button. When the attendant comes over my mom explains she is a nurse and can help. The flight attendant deadass says " Oh we need doctors not nurses." To which my mom replys, "The fuck is a doctor going to do. Prescribe medicine? Get out of my way." I was losing it.

[@yetanothertroll]

The nurses are the people who keep the doctors from accidentally unaliving the patients

[@Lealani565]

Dude, nurses are the MVPs. They care for us and actually listen to what’s going on. They see the difference between personality quirks and medical issues. NEVER underestimate a nurse!

[@TotallyHuman]

My primary care person is a... something with 4 letters (starts with a p.) Anyway, he got a huge kick out of this. Just thought you should know even they love it!

[@juliab3770]

So love this! Thank you.

[@starzmwl9327]

right?! why do people discredit people! YOUR nurses are most of the time better than your fucking Doctors at doing their jobs because they are always doing the doc's JOBS!

[@Bg-ftz]

I remember when my brother and I were hit by a car while crossing the street, the main thought I had while lying on the ground, blood pouring from my head was just being rather annoyed that the car interrupted the conversation we were having 😆. I don't even think I really registered exactly what had happened yet. People's brains can short circuit very weirdly at times.

[@Panda-cute]

That's terrifying, I'm glad you can find some humor in it. I hope you and your brother are okay?

[@MoonbeamPony]

I could be mistaken, but it sounds to me like you were in shock.

[@victork.8860]

Shock is one hell of a thing.

[@Trashpanda115]

Fucker interrupted my conversation wait i cant stand up WAIT

[@Bg-ftz]

@Schmidtka Productions haha, the conversation was about how berserk and yona of the dawn were basically the same manga, so yes, definitely one of the most important conversions I would ever have 😆 But no we were fine, my brother only got a few scapes and I got a broken knee/nose and concussion which was basically all better by the end of the year. Woots :)

[@the_real_rascal]

I was in a bad motorcycle accident a while back. I broke my neck and fractured a bunch of vertebrae. Gnarly stuff. When I came to while the paramedics were working on me I actually asked them if my bike was OK. Lol. It's crazy how your mind works when in an emergency like that. I'm sure it was part head injury and part not understanding the severity of my injuries despite the pain.

[@toddb3226]

Sooo... Was the bike ok? :p Seriously though, glad you are still here to laugh about it!

[@the_real_rascal]

@@toddb3226 crazy enough, the bike only needed a few cosmetic repairs and a rear shift lever.

[@keeganwebber]

I got into the circular questions when I fell off a roof last year, same set every 5 minutes because my brain wasn't storing any information. bone actively protruding from my elbow, spinal fluid leaking out of my nose, kept saying "where are we going" "how did I get here" "fuck this hurts"

[@Deuce_and_a_half]

@@the_real_rascal Were you ok? I'm not in any way knowledgeable in neck braking. But to me that sounds like instant paralysis from where you broke it downward.

[@tlgianna1784]

As a fellow biker... you always ask if the bike is okay first! I would put myself between the bike and the ground to protect it! 😂

[@TheGruffchickJournal]

The one situation that always hurt my soul was homeless people pretending to have chest pain in order to get out of the snow and cold streets (This was in Colorado). They'd arrive by ambulance. It would be so easy to turn them away, to complain about some bum taking away a bay for an actual emergency. We never pushed them out the door. Instead, we'd "monitor" their cardiac symptoms by placing them in the former break room. They had access to hot coffee and a sandwich or two. The room was warmer than the outside. For the most part, our "patients" appreciated our effort and they didn't abuse our kindness. Some were veterans. Some were drug addicts. Some needed help getting their necessary medications. Some just needed a bit of love. This was a good 20 years ago. Don't know if the hospital still provides this anymore.

[@alyssahamlett]

My fav comment so far, I have ptsd from how I've been treated in hospitals for being an addict..never sought drugs from hospitals but I Def used them for a Warm place to go q time or two

[@breckfoster767]

PTSD from the hospital? Tf did your years on the street give you then?

[@TheGruffchickJournal]

@@breckfoster767 It actually does happen. Patients can feel feel extremely vulnerable in an ED/ER. You enter asking for help. Chronic pain patients are often humiliated by some doctor calling them an addict without actually reading their records or asking what the problem is. Homeless people have security called on them routinely, and being ushered out via a tight grip on the arm is embarrassing. These vulnerable people are asking for help, but end up traumatized.

[@spicynoodles2742]

Do you have shelters for homeless people for extreme weather?

[@ThalesWell]

I’d say being stuck outside with the threat of freezing to death counts as an emergency

[@QemeH]

"I understand it's difficult to stop, Sir - but if you smoke while using oxygen, you might need a new house."

[@louisrobitaille5810]

This doesn't make any sense...

[@notalie230]

@@louisrobitaille5810 If you smoke near oxygen, there will be a nice big fire, maybe an explosion even. That's why the smoker will need a new house, and maybe a trip to the ED

[@arianimations7832]

I actually just learned about this yesterday in school

[@adrianhenle]

Air is near 20 % oxygen. Houses burn OK in air. Oxygen tanks are full of 100 % high-pressure oxygen. Houses burn GREAT in that.

[@louisrobitaille5810]

@@adrianhenle I thought you needed the same ratio of fuel:oxygen to actually allow the fire to propagate... If there's a ton of oxygen and a spark, wouldn't it cause the opposite and to suffocate the fire because there's too much oxygen and not enough fuel?

[@Sethflig]

“Blood sugar was low so you gave her insulin??” That HAD to have been a SNF

[@KingOfGamesss]

Maybe not necessarily an SNF...it could've also been a ECI or a LLP...possibly even an M

[@christophedlauer1443]

No. Pretty much had that myself. The one time I had to perform CPR (elder lady, had a heartattack on the toilet, we found her way too late to actually do something) I was performing CPR for about 15 min. Sweating buckets. The busdriver of the tour that lady came in on helpfully pointed out that she was diabetic and mayber her medication would help. Honest to god - the ONLY thing that came to my adrenalin fueld brain at that moment was "Maybe that would help - IF SHE HAD ANY KIND OF CIRCULATION SIR!".

[@sigmasquadleader]

Rule number something: fix one problem at a time

[@louisrobitaille5810]

@@KingOfGamesss Could you spell those out please? SNF, ECI, LLP, M...?

[@notalie230]

@@louisrobitaille5810 SNF skilled nursing facility

[@kain0m]

My Father in Law worked as a paramedic. He had a great story about a mentally ill hoarder that they had to pick up from her home. She was sharing her house with a few dozen chickens. They wrapped the lady up real tight in silver blankets, then took her to hospital. The nurses there were making fun of them for wrapping up the entire patient airtight below the neck. They disregarded the warning to not unwrap her until they had her in the shower room with the windows open, "you boys are just softies. We have seen it all". Well, apparently both nurses present in the room got violently sick when they ripped the blankets off, and vommited on the spot. He would wind them up with that "softie" story for years, whenever he met them in the ER.

[@willb5278]

And yet reading this story, i cant figure out if the vomit trigger was chicken shit EVERYWHERE, or what the beaks may have done to her unconscious body.

[@paintedwolf1654]

I would be willing to bet it was the smell. If you've ever smelled Chicken feces, you'd know why. The smell was probably in her skin and clothes. Farmers use it as fertilizer and it is potent. I don't even want to know how bad it would be with the stink trapped in a house.

[@sugoruyo]

@@willb5278 thanks for both those images. Nice.

[@VerIsHere]

​@@willb5278Both, I assumed.

[@Turtleman9856]

I was a cop in the military and we occasionally would have to arrest homeless people who snuck on base. If a suspect needs to use the bathroom someone has to accompany them, i had a female friend that had to accompany a homeless woman once. The woman was wearing a trash bag as ‘underwear’. Smell was probably a factor here.

[@MadeagoestoNam]

I know a guy who had an unfortunate incident hopping a fence who would disagree that nothing ends up there by accident.

[@HM2SGT]

Good point. There is usually an exception for every rule.👌👍

[@ltmundy1164]

@@HM2SGT: But not gravity. It's the law....

[@HariSeldon913]

Patient: Doctor, my penis has turned orange! Doctor: Have you done any abnormal activity or ingested anything unusual? Patient: No, I was just munching on some Cheetos while watching porn.

[@mennograafmans1595]

Also once saw a girl (late teens) where the barstool she was sitting on broke. The pole shot through the cushion. Poor girl. The room went silent from her scream.

[@s-w]

My friend's hacky sack was ripped doing the same thing...

[@speedyspooley]

"I didn't take opioids." "Sir, you were unconscious and unresponsive and pretty much on your way to dying. We gave you medication that *ONLY* works on opioids...and you woke up. How much did you take?" "I didn't take opioids."

[@nanwijanarko1969]

Not a medical professional, but I assume the next action you take would be called "screaming internally"?

[@sasukedemon888888888]

To be fair. It's likely a mix of terrified they might go to jail and that they are not fully coherent and can't think straight. A shot of narcan will wake someone up. But they still have that drug in their system messing with their head.

[@rachelsimons2040]

@@sasukedemon888888888 either that, or they were spiked in one way or another

[@Polyglot_English]

Well I'd rather die, than go to jail, so I would do the same.

[@speedyspooley]

You don't go to jail for an overdose here. You don't even get arrested.

[@MobileTech296]

My dad was a volunteer firefighter in the small community where I grew up and has told us lots of stories about dumb arguments they had with people on calls. My favorite is when they reported back that a vehicle crash victim was dead and the doctor (or whoever they were reporting back to) started giving them crap about how only doctors can declare people dead what makes them so sure he can't be saved to which they replied "we found his head in the passenger footwell".

[@u6uggg6hguiuggy]

"My employer asked me if i was a theoretical physicist. I said i had a theoretical degree in physics. Now i'm running from the FBI because i crashed 500 satellites. Anyways, hoe can you be sure he'd dead? Have you tried re-attaching the head?"

[@sherriv4860]

😲

[@janimayares8086]

Darn...

[@MrZoomah]

Yeah. We had 2 people. One dead... One not. We called for advice on helping the alive one until paramedics arrived and the doctor said something along the lines of. "The other one might not be dead. Put a collar on or 1 person needs to hold up the head to keep the airway clear. "Ummm... How do that when there's a tool box halfway through the back of his head." From that crash onwards I never kept anything loose in my car.

[@fp6343]

When I learnt to drive, in the first-aid section of the book, they wrote that when arriving at a scene, we can only assume that someone is dead if their head is detached or their body is cut in half at the waist (They didn't mention cut in half in other parts, above the waist or cut diagonally, or split in half through the head, neck, etc., which makes you wonder). Anyway, if the person was in one piece, we were told to check the pupils. If they did not react to the light, the person is dead. If it reacts, we were supposed to give the kiss of life. (We were specifically told not to try chest compressions, but I think a decade or two later they changed this and now people learn to do CPR). We had to do a nice little test, checking, clearing the airways of, and breathing into a dummy.

[@heathernicol3026]

“Okay, so her blood sugar was low so you gave her insulin…?” Your expression nicely sums up my feelings on the matter, but I’m still gonna be screeching internally in utter horror for a bit, thank you.

[@Thenarratorofsecrets]

I've seen the opposite. hyperglycemic, didnt stop/slow tube feed. didn't administer insulin... yeah so it was 500 this morning and you waited 6 hours to call and took no corrective action... yeah it just says "high" No ma'am the diabetic's sugar isn't going to go down on its own.

[@grapatin]

Same.

[@grapatin]

@@Thenarratorofsecrets We had a case of hyperglycemia where glucose and D50 were given. That's the opposite of helpful, thanks.

[@Thenarratorofsecrets]

@@grapatin big oof

[@grapatin]

@@Thenarratorofsecrets Yeah, we were all pretty pissed.

[@neilmoran4772]

When I broke my ankle on the job a few years ago, it was overtime, and the only thing I cared about as I was being wheeled to the ambulance was "What time was it?" That way I knew how much OT to claim

[@SuperQBoi]

When I had my collapse lung (didn't know that was what it was until I arrived to the ER for X-Rays) at work I went into the office and told them they needed to call an ambulance. They stared at me like WTF. The Fire EMTs came and since the pain was on the right hand side they thought it were my heart. They did all the standard things to do in that case including a portable EKG machine. When they were all said and done they said they couldn't determine anything was wrong and asked if I still wished to be transported to the ER. I was like yeah, duh. I was dining supervisor at college and it were dinner time, I lived in the dorms right across the street so I hadn't worn a winter jacket. The only options when I was on the gurney were the back door loading dock or the main entrance door. The truck was parked in the front so the loading dock wasn't going to work so I had to get carried out the front door. Since I had no winter jacket the EMTs insisted I wear the jacket you put on when you go into the walk-in freezer. So yeah I had to get carried out through everyone at dinner on a stretcher in a freezer jacket. The only thing I could think of was OMG why do I have to wear this horrible jacket through all these people.

[@somebonehead]

That's a common joke among seafarers too. "When abandoning ship, always bring your essentials, like your life jacket, your flashlight, and your overtime papers :D"

[@zebraloverbridget]

@@SuperQBoi I had the same thing happen, a spontaneously collapsed lung. I was in 10./10 pain the night before but waited until the next day to go to urgent care. The doctor was saying it was a pulled muscle... Didn't even want to do xrays until we insisted on it. Said doctor then pulled me to look at them and went on and on about how healthy they looked. An hour or so later the radiologist calls and tells us that the doctor was horribly wrong and there was a hole in my lung. It had managed to get back to looking normal at urgent care somehow I guess

[@alzorama2876]

I had a broken ankle a couple of years back. As I was lying in the emergency room, a nurse told me that I might have to be checked into the hospital. My first thought was, "What underwear am I wearing?" Serious. I didn't want to be embarrassed for old, comfortable, worn-out undies.

[@alexia3552]

wow mood

[@bluexwings]

As a type 1 diabetic, the insulin one terrifies me. After I was diagnosed, the first thing I did was talk to my loved ones about how to check my blood sugar if I pass out and to NEVER give me an insulin shot if I'm low. (They're all scared of the glucagon shot, bless the makers of the nasal spray)

[@Emeraldwitch30]

One of my cousins was diagnosed with type 1 as a preteen and all if us close cousins got the crash course on diabetes But when ever with this cousin we always got snack bags and juice to go play out in the back forty with. 70s were great

[@sholem_bond]

Same, the insulin ones give me so much secondhand anxiety. WHO JUST ASSUMES THEY NEED TO INJECT MORE INSULIN WITHOUT TESTING THE PERSON'S BLOOD SUGAR FIRST WHY WOULD YOU EVER (sorry, but as a diabetic I grew up being taught to test my blood sugar in response to anything from feeling unusually thirsty, to feeling irritable, to having insomnia... I can't imagine just making a blind assumption like that with 0 testing).

[@catkid3456]

@@sholem_bondI think they thought the insulin would bring their blood sugar up

[@bingewatchforever1587]

Unfortunately this seems to be quite a common misunderstanding. I partly blame media, because I have seen scenes in movies and shows, where a diabetic person suddenly gets unconscious and someone gives the person insulin and then they are fine again, more than once. I have been teaching/counselling people with type-2-diabetes for years, and I can tell that a lot of people don't know much about diabetes in general. I always explain the differences between type 1 and type 2 diabetes, because many don't know that either.

[@oscarenriquesampedrolopez3655]

I get you I always confused insulin and glucagon until my uncle became diabetic and I sat and learned which one is which.

[@zephramartin6632]

That "i understand your car got shot but so did you so lets deal with that first" was so fucking funny

[@Septimus_ii]

Really common too, when you're in shock

[@PlayerZeroStart]

Shock is a hell of a drug

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

@@Septimus_ii This just a fleshwound.

[@AdmiralDG]

I was in a car accident before where I lost control of the car on ice and ended up hitting a tree dead on, knocked the tree over even. When the cops arrived and he asked if I was ok, I asked him to make sure my hood ornament was alright... its hard to realize the situation when its just happened haha

[@alpacamoose4378]

@@AdmiralDG that's the same thing that happened to my brother. He was like... OH MY GOD. MY CAR? IS IT OKAY? *completely totalled*

[@Jwilson044]

I was fairly new on the Department when we responded to a person trapped call. Upon arrival we found a man who had lifted a big V8 and transmission out of a car by throwing a chain hoist over a limb of a tree. As expected the limb broke and the engine and transmission fall on the guys lower leg pinning him to the ground. Being fresh from the academy in great shape and kind of excited to be on the call I easily lifted the motor off the leg at which point the victim jumped to his feet and began limping around. So I say “hey does that leg feel better now”. Now the more jaded and always willing to put me in my place senior FF says “that’s about the dumbest thing I have ever heard a firefighter say”. “Of course his leg feels better you dumbass it doesn’t have an engine on it”. At this point everyone on the crew and the victim are all laughing. Took me months to live that one down.

[@heartofthewild680]

What’s a “V8” in this context? Because I doubt you’re talking about the veggie drink.

[@Jwilson044]

@@heartofthewild680 that would be a reference to the number of cylinders in the engine and implying a very heavy weight in combination with the transmission

[@wizardsuth]

I understand what you meant. A better question would have been, "Does your leg need medical attention?". When accidents occur people often ask, "Are you all right?" when they should ask, "Are you hurt?".

[@xander1052]

@@Jwilson044 and also the fact that it is in two banks at an angle to one another.

[@gholland5840]

@@heartofthewild680 An engine with 8 cylinders in a V shape.

[@JackieOwl94]

I know it’s a bit different, but my favorite story from my husband-an army medic-was when he was starting out and was checking a soldier out for abdominal pain. Now this patient was BIG, as in so fat he was getting kicked out. The labs came back for appendicitis, as in he was mere minutes from bursting. He called the soldier from the waiting room, and he wasn’t there. He went out for a full hour and came back with a full bucket of KFC drumsticks. They had to pump the man’s stomach before emergency surgery.

[@sherriv4860]

😳 how is he eating with this abdominal pain!!

[@AlishaArlene]

😶

[@SolaScientia]

@@sherriv4860 That's my question. My dad had appendicitis when he was a kid back in the early 60s. Idiot doctors kept misdiagnosing it and when they finally did the surgery the appendix burst as they were extracting it. His scar is several times longer than it should be because of it. Only pain he's had worse than appendicitis pain was the fluid build up in his abdomen after he had another major surgery a few months ago.

[@sherriv4860]

@@SolaScientia that is terrible!! Is your dad doing okay?

[@SolaScientia]

@@sherriv4860 Yes, he had a radical prostatectomy performed with the Da Vinci robot a while back and then had fluid collecting because of the lymph node removal. It's apparently super rare and he had drains in and everything. The fluid pressed on the ureters (the lines that run between the kidneys and bladder) and caused the worst pain he's ever had in his life, he said. He's finally on the mend, but it's still a rather long road ahead for him.

[@danielwalker1712]

My favorite conversation; after notifying the hospital we were in route with cardiac arrest the nurse in a less than cordial tone stated “you did not give me vitals! ”. So while looking at the guys working the code I responded…….heart rate zero, BP zero/zero, only responsive to massive electrical stimuli, pupil response unavailable the FF doing ventilation is in the way, ETA 10 minutes. Long pause from hospital end……………….OK.

[@heartofthewild680]

@Nerglers Stuff yeah, I want to know that too

[@saintsinningsword]

Paperwork is stupid and she was probably filling some out

[@nataliaromanova9556]

Ah yes, a report she wasn't really listening to anyway cause when you show up they'll be like "What cardiac arrest?"

[@frannielocks]

ER nurse here and I’m dying laughing over “BP zero/zero” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Great answer to her crap attitude!

[@suek7086]

I actually had an er doc ask me about vitals. When I said I’d been a little busy she insisted I get a BP during cpr. Good grief, it was just me and 1 firefighter.

[@itsdrgrandpa]

See, this is why I have lived my ENTIRE life according to this principle: NEVER do anything you wouldn't want to have to explain to the paramedics. 👍

[@Brievel]

Have you ever actually needed to call the paramedics for yourself?

[@kaptein1247]

@@Brievel one of the points of this principle is that you dont have too

[@Brievel]

@@kaptein1247 Accidents happen.

[@kaptein1247]

@@Brievel yeah they do. Doesnt have anything to do with the comment tho. The comment was more aimed at stories like "I dont know how it ended up there"

[@Brievel]

@@kaptein1247 Yes, I understand that. I was still curious if OP had successfully avoided ever calling the paramedics.

[@Lilacleaf49065]

I've done first aid training where they have told me "if the diabetic faints, use their epi pen" 🤦‍♀️ I'm glad there are people out there who DO have common sense!

[@StonedtotheBones13]

Maybe I'm tired, but how would that help? I mean they are kinda allergic to sugar ig. But all the epi will do is send their pulse rocketing

[@florentbapelle7252]

@@StonedtotheBones13 I know your comment was a long time ago but diabetics are absolutely not allergic to sugar. Whatever the type, their pancreas is unable to produce insulin which means their metabolism is unable to assimilate sugar correctly. Thus they take insulin shots daily to the job instead of their pancreas. However their sugar levels can fluctuate for many different reasons and that why they sometimes need not only insulin shots but also glucagon shots which will elevate their sugar level. So when a diabetic person faints it migh not just be from high sugar but from low sugar as well, and the best way to determine that is to check with glucometer. And even if the patient wasn't diabetic what's inside an epi pen is adrenalin and giving that much adrenalin that quickly to anyone could be dangerous even life-threatening to some at-risk people with pathologies. So yeah if a person faints check for breathing and call 911 the person on the line will tell you what to do until the paramedics arrive.

[@AtanaaTheCurious]

@@StonedtotheBones13 The thing that this guy thought was an epipen was accualy an insulin pen. If someone with diabetes has fainted it was probably because of very low blood sugar. Insulin lowers blood sugar - so this advise can litteraly kill

[@linkhyrule5800]

@@StonedtotheBones13 It wouldn't. That's the point.

[@rachelmay4996]

How true ! Nothing ever accidentally ends up there !

[@chancemcclendon3906]

i sliped and fell and the shampoo bottle just kind of you know. woops

[@bills9346]

@@chancemcclendon3906 😂 Yeah, I believe you.

[@themoderncowboy7437]

Just what i want to deal with at 12AM.

[@ratsumatra3003]

That's not where the gerbils live....PETA???

[@chrish6001]

...unless you're on Seinfeld.

[@satorukuroshiro]

I don't know much about firefighters and paramedics, but I'm definitely grateful for local fire departments. My family had a devastating house fire this year, and the only reason we haven't had to start from scratch is because the three different departments that showed up were able to kill the fire before it got to our important documents. It has me considering bringing up an old tradition from my childhood where my dad and I would bring the firefighters icecream on my birthday.

[@I_am_Musiq94]

Thats a great tradition. You should do it. They would appreciate anything you give (sealed of course for sanitary reasons) even if it is just a simple thank you

[@wizardsuth]

You might consider storing important documents in a fire safe or keeping a copy offsite, e.g. in a safety deposit box.

[@19972zach]

That’s a great idea. For you documents id make multiple physical copies and electronic copies

[@prussiaball1871]

That's shocking, you guys must have an older house with quality furniture

[@atlas2296]

Have your family get a fire safe where you keep things like Social Security Numbers, Passports, Any important bank documents, a couple thousand dollars in cash, etc. Fire safes are as you might guess, fire proof.

[@sebrame]

On a call at the local library, a patron had reached into her purse to get her library card out and there happened to be a sewing needle in it, which she stuck into the meaty part of her hand. The librarian said that she called EMS because the woman was pregnant. My partner replied, "Well ma'am, the 'hand bone' isn't connected to the 'pregnant bone'."

[@inconnu4961]

Perhaps a little professional C.Y.A was going on here?

[@waffles3629]

​@@inconnu4961 yeah, unfortunately it goes too far sometimes. As a teen my ribcage was really hurting so my parents tried to schedule me an appointment with my pediatrician. They refused to make an appointment because it was chest pain so I had to go to the ER. So of course my parents take me to the ER and after they confirm I'm not having a heart attack (which would be highly unlikely for a 16 year old) I get scolded for wasting their time when I could tell it was my ribcage (aka what I told them before getting an EKG in the triage room) and to follow up with my pediatrician. So my parents try to make a follow up with my doc, only to be told again that they don't deal with chest pain and I had to go to the ER. Like I get not wanting to ignore potential emergencies, but I'd already been to the ER and they confirmed it wasn't my heart or lungs, and can't do anything more.

[@arthas640]

@@inconnu4961 people will do some weird CYA stuff like that. I actually had to talk a manager out of dialing 9-1-1 when i tripped on my own shoelaces (fine, just a skinned knee) because she wanted to make sure the store didnt get sued and i had to point out you can get fined for frivolous 9-1-1 calls.

[@TheMaybebaby90]

Oh, but one of the great things about working with the general public is coming home and saying “You will NEVER believe what happened today!!!”

[@tenchraven]

Anyone has worked EMS or tech support is waiting to be surprised. Even after the story.

[@waffles3629]

Yep, it's insane.

[@Rietu]

@@tenchraven Yep... Tech support person here... "I can't print" turned into a series of "why?" which led me to learn that their computer wouldn't turn on.... But they wanted to print, so the problem in their mind was "I can't print" as opposed "my computer won't power on".

[@dragonriderabens9761]

@@Rietu *bangs forehead on desk*

[@mikkurzhal7390]

At this point my internal response to every crazy interaction is just, "Well this is gonna be a story."

[@bellehunt4206]

I don’t know if you guys actually read the comments but just in case…. I live in an area where most of our firefighters and all of the EMT’s are volunteers. Every time I see one of them in public, wherever we are, I make sure to say “thank you”. Those volunteers have saved my friends, my family, and yes even myself on one occasion. I will always be grateful for those who choose to serve without expecting anything in return. That’s selfless.

[@15BN_Pikaxe121]

I read them!

[@squiggymcsquig6170]

Went on an EMS call for an injured guy. Arrived on scene to find the young man and a woman. We stabilized the conscious male pt and prepared to transport. Pt. asked the woman if she was going to the hospital, and I piped up with, "Your mom can ride with us if she'd like". He replied, "That's not my mom...that's my wife". Her expression was what you'd expect. I actually performed this amazing feat of fitting my entire foot in my mouth TWICE....nearly identically.

[@coloradod3649]

Had a call where a nurse could not wake up her diabetic husband that was snoring, so she gave him a shot of insulin. 30 minutes later, still could not wake him up, gave him another shot. 1 hour later, his breathing is shallow, pulse slow so she finally checks his blood sugar, glucometer says “Error”, she tries again, “Error”. She “thinks” well his blood sugar must be too high, gives him another shot. A few minutes later a lightbulb goes off, “maybe he has low blood sugar”! Tries to wake him up, nope. Tries to give unconscious husband apple juice, nope (luckily he didn’t aspirate the juice, probably because he was not breathing much). It is now about 3:00 am, she calls 911. We get toned out for “Diabetic Emergency, Nurse On Scene”, great. She is in the street at the end of their 100 foot driveway waving frantically as we roll up, I waved as we turned into the driveway and we drove up to the house. She comes running up screaming at us as we grab our gear, “I am a nurse, my husband is a diabetic, you have to give him D50”. My response, “OK, can you show us where he is?”, she says; “Do you have D50?”, I say; “Yes, we do”, she says; “I am an ER Nurse, I can start an IV”, I say; “So can I, I am a paramedic. Can you show us where your husband is?” I did a blood sugar check from my IV start, read “Low - 15”, no kidding, took 2 amps of D50 just to get him responsive, she demanded that we transport him to “her” hospital ER, guy was still lethargic and only got his blood sugar up to 60 by the time we got to “her” ER. Needless to say, I steered patients away from that ER.

[@noktturnal]

No real ER nurse would do that...

[@redbarond1]

@@noktturnal I wish I could think this, but I've known too many nurses to disbelieve the story.

[@alexforce9]

What amazes me is not that she give him insulin. Its that she decided to give him anything before she even check his blood sugar level. It takes literaly 30 sec.

[@saphiriathebluedragonknight375]

@@noktturnal You might be surprised.

[@dynamicworlds1]

@@noktturnal unfortunately, news about (thankfully rare afaik) antivax nurses has really shaken any confidence I might have in there being noone in a profession who would do something that rediculous...

[@Edick108]

I transported a retired 80 something-year-old ER physician who was having chest pain and shortness of breath. Immediately after acquiring the 12 Lead, the physician asked me what my interpretation was and I said Sinus Rhythm with no ST-Elevation or depression. He then asked for the rhythm strip, he looked at it for a moment, and said, "we'll need to consult cardiology when we get to the ER". I asked if he saw something I missed and he said, "follow ACLS protocol and we should be fine". For a moment I got very nervous and started questioning my 12 Lead interpretation capabilities. Halfway to the hospital, he smiled at me and said you are doing just fine kid.

[@inconnu4961]

Wow, simply amazing story!

[@tateana5912]

My Great Aunt once decided that lying on the kitchen floor with a broken hip was no excuse for having people over with a dirty floor and told my Great Grandmother to pass her a dishrag before the paramedics got there. People have odd priorities when they are injured.

[@Croz89]

To be fair, those dentists sure do get pissed if you miss an appointment, not matter how good the excuse.

[@Mapijs]

can't be late a minute, but you will have to wait 45 minutes cause they are still busy with someone else.. >_>

[@Croz89]

@@Mapijs Hah! Mine would be more like "come back in 3 months".

[@timmholl9238]

Literally just happened to me yesterday: my dental appointment was cancelled because "even dental technicians need a day off." Edited for spelling.

[@gothicangel3827]

True

[@dynamicworlds1]

@@timmholl9238 I mean, to be fair, sometimes people have to take days off they didn't plan in advance because of a personal/family emergency and small practices may not have anyone to fill in....not saying that's what happened, but if the dentist is at home emptying from both ends, for example, there's not a whole lot to do about it.

[@terristroh3965]

I fell down and hurt my ankle in the presence of a man who said,”Don’t worry, I’m a doctor.” He and his kids helped me to a bench where he took off my shoe and sock to examine my ankle. I was nervous and asked, “So, what kind of doctor are you?” He said he was an allergist. He told me I was probably okay and to go home and put it up. My ankle and foot was fractured in 3 places.

[@terristroh3965]

Thank god I didn’t have a rash though

[@brandoncaldwell95]

He secretly has a foot fettish and wanted a good view

[@RICDirector]

What, an allergist without xray vision? Coulda happened to anyone...

[@krel7160]

@@RICDirector Don't you know Mr. Kent works at the news agency? It was Earth #427 that had the doctor Kent.

[@genericyoutubecommenter589]

Thank god that allergist was there to make sure you weren't allergic to breaking your foot in 3 separate places, otherwise you might have gotten hurt

[@maxM38383]

I’ve had Assisted Living facility staff try to force me and my crew and by default kidnap a patient to the hospital because the patient was cleared mental capacity and didn’t have any memory loss or mental health issues, no serious injuries, no blood thinners and did not want to go to the hospital. Staff told us it’s their policy that whenever a patient falls and/or hits their head that they have to send the patient to the hospital. After we explained our protocols and THE LAW to them they said “well if you guys won’t take her and she won’t go then we have to kick her out of the facility” this was also illegal as the facility and the patients room was the patients legal address on their ID. Thankfully a cop was there to back us up and to further explain that they were literally trying to commit multiple crimes. It got to a point that the patient just got sick and tired of hearing us argue back and forth that she just said “alright fine I’ll go”. I got that staff members full name and position title and made sure I put all this in the PCR.

[@hithere5039]

I love how its only ok to kidnap people when they are determined to have mental health issues.... anyways....

[@AM-gv9db]

"Hey, nurse, why is my sodium so low?" "Well, it can happen if you drink too much alcohol for a long period of time." "But I've been cutting down on alcohol lately." "Didn't you say you estimate about 5 beers a day this last week?" "Exactly. A month ago it was 10 beers a day, so I've actually halved my consumption." "..."

[@SoLuVaBle299]

Baby steps 😂

[@skirata3144]

Well rounding down she’s going to be clean in another 3 months

[@seantaggart7382]

welp

[@word6344]

Sounds like a chubbyemu case

[@jdottdeestv8149]

Makes sense to me, good day.

[@jonweso2376]

Bruh, I've heard all of those on multiple occasions! Thats too funny. Gotta love the "no emergency, I just pressed my med alert button to make sure it worked" line too.

[@mjoy4382]

Make that at 3a!

[@dragondancer1814]

I ran a lifeline alarm call once that was the result of a large-chested patient working in the backyard garden and getting the pendant stuck between their chest and stomach, sort of the lifeline alert version of a butt dial. Another time we got toned out for a truck response to a lifeline alarm to assist the medics with forcible entry. We got canceled upon arrival-it turned out the desk unit in the house had been activated when the family cat stepped on it!

[@brandoncaldwell95]

@@dragondancer1814 sounds all to familiar. Had a call about their pendent going off. The company couldn't get the correct location. Turns out they were a block away at an exercise class and kept hitting the button. Then their was the usual call. They would always hit their button twice and about the same time (230am) once to twice a week. My department had a policy to have EMS met by Law enforcement for entery to homes. Typically, the officer always made location and checked on them before EMS unit even left the bay.. Course i have a few horror stories thanks to EMS. Not saying their actions are the cause, but it certainly didnt help the situation...

[@RoseKindred]

The insulin one was scary because that was the advice I got from a trained nurse. My father was in a rehab hospital for a stroke, they had a "safety course" that families must learn, mainly for falls and unresponsive issues. She told me the first thing to do is give insulin. I asked shouldn't I take the sugar levels first? She said no, always give the next dose first then call emergency second. Thankfully he was only there for a few weeks.

[@lindsayshanks7555]

That sounds like a severely outdated practice, why do people always go to give insulin first? I'm not diabetic or anything, but seriously, that just sounds so dangerous, what's the thought process?

[@RoseKindred]

@@lindsayshanks7555 Perhaps because people carry it on them in case of emergency, like an epi-pen. So "Oh, this person is in trouble, let me just use it." kind of mentality. But, this was someone TRAINED, and teaching others, how that thinking still applies is beyond me.

[@llc1976]

Good lord. My dad was always short on sugar and never the reverse if we had given him shots like that without checking his blood he would have died.

[@smooshiebear80]

Good lord! I’ve heard some diabetic hospital horror stories, but I’m pretty sure that one takes the cake. When it comes to medical staff, most of the time a type 1 diabetic knows more about how to care for their disease. I’m always cautious of what they want to do unless they work in ICU or endocrinology.

[@ash2lar]

That nurse was an idiot.Hope he didn't kill anyone.

[@geoker55]

My wife would come home after rotations in the ER with some stories parallel to these... one of my favorites "I can't be pregnant... my boyfriend is a pro BMX'er and he said because of all his wrecks, he can't ever have kids"

[@wordwoman9900]

"My boyfriend told me you can't get pregnant the first time!" Honey, your hymen is not birth control...

[@Brievel]

I've heard it's possible for a guy to get hit hard enough to make him sterile.

[@ren3171]

I mean I dont think thats very rediculous. Its possible that her boyfriend sustained major injuries to his testicles that led him to believe, either by his own thoughts or by the belief of a doctor, that he would never be able to have children. So if she thought that he was unable to have children and she had been faithful to him than it makes sense that she would be confused and think there may have been some sort of mistake. That is unless she had already given birth or was activley giving birth.

[@keyofallworlds7549]

@@ren3171 I think maybe the idea that she never though he was lying?

[@rustyjones7908]

"turns out it just changes the color of the baby"

[@FireOLTFD5510]

My favorite on a snowmobile fire where the rider was still riding as it was on fire. "I thought if I rode faster, it'd put the fire out."

[@Brievel]

I mean... I can see where he got the idea... deprive it of oxygen... still doesn't seem like a great idea.

[@thefenrir777]

Have a coworker that was an EMT for two years. I asked him why he quit and he told me his final call was for a guy who shot both of his feet with a crossbow. Basically stapling himself to the floor. Apparently he was doing a TikTok and forgot to hit play. The fact he met someone that stupid broke him. I didn't believe him till he showed me a photo.

[@bouutiquems3578]

Why would he need to hit play

[@thefenrir777]

@@bouutiquems3578 sorry I meant record I've given up trying to fight autocorrect

[@Neoprenesiren]

Bro crucified himself on accident.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

I think leaving after seeing that is warranted. You're never gonna top a story that funny, so why bother?

[@sherriv4860]

I would quit too. People these days 🙄

[@rosaliamoon4525]

I have actually transported an elderly pt whose husband gave her insulin because “Her insulin level was low”. Sweet elderly couple that just needed some re-education about blood sugar.

[@michaeledmunds7266]

I mean, I guess her insulin level was low.

[@rosaliamoon4525]

@@michaeledmunds7266 no her blood sugar was low. The husband had understood that he was supposed to check her blood sugar and give insulin to fix it. So he called her blood sugar, her insulin level. The good was that he second guessed himself after giving the insulin and called 911. They were a cute couple. Just really needed re-education about blood sugar.

[@michaeledmunds7266]

@@rosaliamoon4525 whoosh

[@richardmillhousenixon]

@@michaeledmunds7266 that was a pretty shitty joke my guy

[@scootermom1791]

That actually makes sense when you put it that way. If someone's insulin level is low, give them insulin to fill it up. I'm a diabetic, so I thought, "How dumb can you be to give someone insulin when their blood sugars are low?" when I watched this guy's short on that one. But now I can see where the confusion potentially comes from. Very interesting. 🤔

[@ratsumatra3003]

Went on a call about a man unresponsive in his home. Arrived to find him on the waterbed, drunk as a skunk doing self compressions. He was quite concerned about not being able to find a pulse. I actually told him he was doing great as we needed him to get 'him' into the bus. Third story walk up & he's plus 250 lb. Good times...🤣

[@IDontKnow-pf6en]

thank you to your sistren and bretheren in Philly for saving my ass from numerous ODs (thank you, Narcan, too!), and for getting me help when i was finally ready, your siblings here truly saved my life more than they will ever realize and/or know, and i just wanna thank them from the bottom of my heart and soul for the past fourteen years of my addiction, and from the twenty-seven years of my life

[@veramae4098]

Blessings to you and all those you love and care for.

[@jessicahannah2522]

And one of these times, they won't make it in time. Or the Narcan won't work anymore since you've had it so many times. Keep staying sober. Your life depends on it. No more fentanyl roulette.

[@theduke7539]

When I was 17 I turned my truck into an airplane for about 4 seconds after falling asleep at the wheel. When the paramedics showed up, I look at this guy and asked him if he could see my hat. It flew off and out the window during the crash. Idk if I was trying to make him laugh or just keep myself from focusing on how badly I felt. Thankfully I came away with just some deep bruising and some strained muscles. Seatbelts save lives and I won't hear any different.

[@brandoncaldwell95]

All im going to say is, you never worked law enforcement and seen some of the cases where the seatbelt was the problem. Not saying they dont save. But certainly will say its a 50/50 thing. Least youll still be found dead in the vehicle.

[@drunkenhobo8020]

@@brandoncaldwell95 I love how the internet just has the dumbest denialism shit. Seatbelts are only 50/50 as to whether they hurt or help you. That's a new one.

[@NotSoLegendaryGreen]

@@drunkenhobo8020 At least I die in relatively one piece if I wear my belt, thanks.

[@jjj7790]

@@brandoncaldwell95 If they weren't wearing the seat belt, they would be dead from being flung through their windshield or taking a face full of their own dashboard at 60 mph. According to physics, the best chance of surviving a car wreck is probably not turning yourself into a human pinball inside of a metal cage.

[@alexia3552]

I am so glad you are okay

[@GuardianOne24]

A couple years ago, my mother who was a US NAVY Airedale (but has since been medically retired) had to go get some blood work done at our local general care facility. The nurse that was setting up the butterfly needle to draw the blood, for some reason, just could not do it. She completely missed the blood vessel, multiple times, barely scrape it, actually puncture THROUGH it, and then miss it again. Now, most likely she was new at this, probably her first week there, I don’t know. But the seriously funny part was that my mother told her to just let her do it herself, and the nurse actually did it! She gave my mother the needle and she did it herself with no issues at all. It was hilarious.

[@kieramaccourt8717]

I've done that too!

[@JohnDoe-kv3cm]

@purplerains Meh, as a nurse student I did maybe two sticks in school (only one of which was on a live person) before they allowed me to do it with patients. I had some experience from before nursing school, so it worked generally, but I know some who really struggled for a time.

[@garp89]

@purplerains ehh, when i was training to be a paramedic, we trained on mannequin arms before doing it on patients in the field (or in the ER). Didnt always go well... lol

[@naritruwireve1381]

ah yes, we've all had that nurse who pokes your arm half a dozen times and still doesn't get it :')

[@SivaKanthSharma]

@purplerains when i started my internship at my hospital, first day, third task was to draw blood. I had never done it before, never even had a proper demonstration. I had only seen a KZbin video a year or two ago out of curiosity. That's it. Lucky for me, (and the patients) one guy was really easy, the other took only 2 pokes.

[@toxigenic]

This was hilarious! My dad was a paramedic/firefighter so I'm sure he could relate. As a kid he never shared any of the bad stuff with me and my brother. For the longest time I just thought firefighters played volleyball, caught calamari off the pier and cooked amazing meals with the odd fire here and there.

[@scootermom1791]

"they cooked amazing meals with the odd fire here and there." Hahaha! That gave me the image of firemen getting called to a house fire, and they bring their steaks to cook in the fire before they put it out. Hilarious! 😅

[@toxigenic]

@@scootermom1791 Lol! Not what I was trying to say, but I can see the image.

[@depositstomach1816]

My personal fave: „Sir, you’re literally sitting in a pool of your own blood, if you don’t come with us willingly we have to call the police“

[@Ranstone]

What are the cops gunna do if I don't go? Shoot me?

[@depositstomach1816]

@@Ranstone physically drag/carry you into the ambulance car and then into the emergency room

[@sarasthoughts]

You can't force people to get medical help. That's why DNR exists.

[@ren3171]

@@sarasthoughts You actually can force people to get medical help. Even if they have a DNR you can still give medical help. The only thing you cant do is restart their heart if it stops, but you can prevent it from stopping in the first place. Then theres also DNRs with or without ventilators. And you also cannot just declare yourself a DNR, you have to go through a whole process to aquire that status and the paperwork to go with it.

[@wendyannh]

@@depositstomach1816 Maybe wherever you are, but not in the US if they are still conscious, alert, and oriented and refusing treatment and/or transport.

[@Crow29803]

“Nothing accidentally ends up there...”. I almost died. And the guy that needs the truck moved! OMG! I had a neighbor that her house was on fire. I took pictures of the truck blocking my car for work. Told them I would be late because of it and then hoped everyone was ok. SMH.

[@MrPicklesAndTea]

@@bostonrailfan2427 Those bosses must be rich if they can pay for an uber to and from work.

[@Crow29803]

@@bostonrailfan2427 no Uber at that time. *sniff* I’m old...

[@eeyoreofborg]

I asked a cop to move his car or I'd be late for work. He made a face at first, but then did it. Pretty cool of him. In my defense, the raid was over and everyone was already cuffed and there were just like 10 cop cars in the street for nothing. I know they got stuff to do but my job is important to me too.

[@DeterminedDIYer]

A rich lady one time berated my mother (fire captain) for the inconvenience of a wind storm knocking a tree into her driveway. She also gave her the riot act for the power being out. My mom had been without power for a week at this point at her own house. She finally said "ma'am you obviously have money. Why don't you install a generator on your house and then you won't have to be inconvenienced. Now let me cut up this tree for you since apparently that is what the fire department is for, not fires and medical emergencies. Next time, call a tree company."

[@arthas640]

i used to have to deal with that a lot at my old job (residential electrician). The company had the same name as our county so people thought we were the utility company and would call every time we got our annual winter storms to demand to know when the power wouid be turned back on. I usually just went on to the utility companies power outtage map and told them what it said. One of the worst customers was a guy who offered to pay whatever it took to get his power turned back on because we were in the middle of a blizzard, swore his road was plowed, and when we got out there to fix his damaged panel there was a 4ft high wall of snow blocking access to his house, and he refused to pay us to hike up his driveway to his house because it turned out his panel hadnt been damaged, he just said that hoping we'd get his power turned back on but the power came back on all on its own. Money makes people stupid.

[@Stargazzer811]

Got rung out on 2 or 3 calls myself that involved downed trees. One brought a power line down so we had to respond with PD and secure the area until the linesmen could shut it off. We took the time after the fact to cut the tree limbs up and move them off the road. Another time a Ford Focus ran over a downed limb on a back road and bottomed out. We helped county EMS treat the passenger for a minor head wound and made sure he was concussion free, and then with the help of DOT cleared the limb from the road. If you work in a rural or small town department, you can expect to be cutting up trees after storms at least 6 times out of 10, usually because they almost caused a fire, car accident or fell something important.

[@nixite1178]

I once got so frustrated I started crying when I called 911 because my brother passed out in our kitchen and the operator made me repeat myself 3 times when asking for the address even though it was the first thing I said and I said it multiple times followed by “I need an ambulance I need an ambulance I need an ambulance.” The paramedics that showed up were actually extremely patient with me and when the operator asked if they were there for the third time (after I had told her they were there and affirmed it twice), one of the paramedics reached over and hung up the phone lol. I said to him “please don’t make me repeat myself again. *insert info here* What else do you need?” And he asked me to clarify one or two things, then asked if I’d dealt with emergencies before. I basically said no, but our parents were nurses and they’d practiced this with us a few times so I knew what they were gonna ask for. He then asked me what the operator had said and i basically just told him that I asked for an ambulance multiple times after giving the address and that my brother had passed out but the person on the other side kept making me repeat it, like she didn’t believe me or something. The paramedic gave me a hug and left, and my brother was fine save for feinting from stress. It’s not much of a story, I don’t know if anything came of it, but it felt good to know that I wasn’t crazy for being frustrated with the operator and that I was right about them being disorganized and careless.

[@flickcentergaming680]

Good thing it was just stress and nothing more serious.

[@philipmcniel4908]

If the operator also repeatedly asked if the responders were there, I'm wondering whether the operator was either having trouble hearing (maybe had an ear infection or something?), or something was wrong with the audio on their end. Seems they wouldn't have too much trouble believing you about whether the paramedics were there or not, though I guess ya never know.

[@dearthofdoohickeys4703]

Consider yourself lucky. Last time I called for paramedics they literally _hung up on me_ . The conversation went something like this: Me: “Hello? We need an ambulance. My father suddenly passed out and won’t respond. He has a lot of heart conditions.” 911: “sir if it’s a medical emergency call 811” and she HUNG UP. So I called 811 Me: “Hello, we need an ambulance. My father has passed out and won’t respond. He-“ 811: “sir we don’t handle emergencies. If it’s urgent you need to call 911” I just about threw my phone threw a window. Around this point my dad started waking up. He was groggy and his head hurt a lot, but he could walk, so I just hung up and we drove him to ER ourselves.

[@nixite1178]

@@dearthofdoohickeys4703 that’s fucking ridiculous. The worst part about these situations is that 9/10 times it’s just some lazy Asshole and you can’t even report them because you don’t have the time to stop and ask for a name. What if my brother had been dying? What if something serious happened? It got to a point where I genuinely wondered if the operator was stoned.

[@baydiac]

@@dearthofdoohickeys4703Called 911 about a break in, mentioned I had a weak heart as an aside-like "it's not a good thing for me to panic, having you with me helps" the operator decided the best way to keep me calm was to gaslight me and assure me no one was in the house and I was fine, and when they arrived the police did the same, saying my rattling bedroom doorknob (locked) and the 'Fuck!' I heard on the other side were just the wind. Wind inside the house. I'm not surprised american police were less than useless, but do you know what's extremely stressful and panic inducing? Knowing there's someone who got in your apartment and no one will believe you about it. Needless to say I moved out before my lease ended. There was a room that had always been unlocked/an open door in the apartment, and it was suddenly locked that day. Neither my roommate nor I did it or had the key for it, so we had to conclude either someone locked it from the inside and was still in there, or the landlord came in without notifying us to lock the unused room, which is VERY not legal. When I called to let them know about the break in the landlord wasn't cooperative at all until I mentioned the police were there. I don't need to live in an apartment complex that doesn't care about safety to such an extreme extent. It was either negligence, or the landlord was sus, so I all but _had_ to leave.

[@Alex-jg2bc]

The diabetic one is straight up something that happened to me, only the reverse. I passed out because my blood sugar was really high and someone gave me the 'sugar needle' for the lower blood sugar. They were horrified when the paramedics told them that.

[@linuxliaison]

To be fair it requires far more of a blood sugar increase to cause damage than a decrease

[@TheJohnmurphy516]

i have been a diabetic for almost two decades and i never heard of anyone passing out form high blood sugar. you must have been on the moon with like a 2000 blood sugar

[@Br3ttM]

I've heard that family of diabetics is actually told to give sugar if the person is unconscious, because a little extra when it is already high isn't a big deal, but accidentally giving insulin when sugar is low is much more dangerous and harder to fix.

[@iowafarmboy]

Ya, we were taught in EMS that it's better to be to high, than too low. So when in doubt, give glucose. Actually happened a few months ago where a patient was not acting right, and was a known diabetic. Our BLS unit wasn't allowed to have a blood sugar tester for some reason, so we gave glucose. When ALS got there, his blood sugar was 200+ 😳 Ya, no more glucose. Lol. But again, better to high than too low.

[@AngDavies]

@@TheJohnmurphy516 people often pass out *while* having high blood sugar (mainly type one) but the high blood sugar is more a symptom than a cause- they have such low insulin that they completely stop being able to metabolise glucose, so they burn so much fat that their blood turns acidic. Direct high blood sugar can cause it, but it's somewhat rarer I think- high enough to cause dehydration

[@sunny71169]

Two of my favs: "Miss, I think this paper bag will help your rapid breathing much more than pure oxygen." and "This is why your mother always told you to wear clean underwear." Favorite patient's statement on a follow-up welfare call-"They could not reattach my scalp so they took skin from my rear-end. I guess now I really am a Butt-head." Teenaged farm girl who had been scalped by an unguarded rotating shaft while she was in the milking parlor. I Hated farm calls, frequently far worse injuries than MVA's. Farmers and farm kids are tough!!

[@mikedonline01]

This all can literally take place in one shift. lets be honest.

[@TheOriginalJphyper]

I'm no rescue worker, but from what I've heard, I wouldn't be surprised if it all happened at the same time.

[@arcticelectric]

@@TheOriginalJphyper both of these are correct... it makes the shift go by faster!

[@HenryProductionsYT]

Jason has seen everything. This just proves once more that he’s a true firefighter…

[@Atlas104]

underrated comment.

[@HenryProductionsYT]

@@Atlas104 so true

[@sandysmith4782]

Beware of any doctor that steps in and says they are a doctor with no other info and tries to get involved. The ones you want on scene will introduce themselves and say what they are “hi, i’m dave, an emergency doctor at xyz hospital, let me know if there is anything you want me to do” and steps back. Any doctor worth their salt knows that a chaotic scene is very different to a nice hospital bed and will work with you not step over you

[@BioYuGi]

0:32 I'm gonna call myself out here. I had no idea insulin *lowered* blood sugar. I have assumed for like twenty years that insulin rose it. Looking at it for more than a second, I guess it makes sense. When you can easily raise blood sugar by eating something sugary, you can't really lower it without something medical.

[@emikookime1849]

If you want a quick explanation: High blood sugar mean sugar is in your blood stream and can’t get into your cells. Insulin makes a little doorway in your cells for glucose to get in. People who need insulin either don’t produce enough insulin naturally, or don’t produce any at all, so there are no little ‘doorways’ for glucose to get from their blood to their cells. They have no energy because no energy can get in their cells. (Which is why low blood sugar tends to make people feel lethargic and slow). So injecting insulin lowers the blood sugar because it lets sugar move out of the blood and into the cells.

[@sciencenerd777]

@@emikookime1849 AMAZING 🤗

[@saltblood]

Basically insulin processes the sugar in your blood, removing it. You need a certain level of sugar in your blood to be alive and do being alive things. Eating sugar brings up your blood sugar levels, and insulin brings them down. A extreme oversimplification, but oh well.

[@GoingtoHecq]

Insulin is the thing responsible for moving sugar from your blood into you body's cells. Too much insulin will drain your body of free sugars. Too little and the cells are starved for sugar. Too much sugar will use all your insulin. Too little sugar, and you have too little sugar so go eat something sweet.

[@krel7160]

My family keeps some emergency sweets stashed away for when some of us go low. It's easy enough if they go low and they're cooperative. It's when they go into some form of half shock and don't want to eat, don't think they need to eat, or "just want to go back to sleep" while having the mental capacity of a toddler stuck in an adult's body due to a lack of sugars that it gets really difficult to deal with. Had to have a talk after that last one where I simply told them (not using genders or titles for anonymity) "If I wake you up because I think you're having a low, respond to my question. If you can communicate with me and prove you aren't feeling out of it by being alert and aware, I'll let you go back to sleep. If you can't, take the food and water, then I'll let you go back to sleep."

[@alexgroggett1628]

I’ve heard so many stories about things “accidentally” going into bodily parts from paramedics, firefighters and even surgeons… The worst stories, to me, are repeat events with the same person.

[@dynamicworlds1]

Seriously people, just buy a toy with a flared base. It's less embarrassing and expensive than an er trip, and will probably feel better than whatever random object you think will fit. 😑

[@serPomiz]

stuff that have the capacity of "accidentally" enter have the same capcity of istantly coming out on it's own. ot it is something REALLY traumatic the guy should be in the ER for anyway and takes precedence

[@SoLuVaBle299]

I would have thought the repeat patients would be the best stories XD I admire any healthcare professional that sees a repeat patient like that and doesn’t ask “Again, Jerry?”

[@ANTSEMUT1]

@@dynamicworlds1 also a good quality lube either water or silicone based.

[@dynamicworlds1]

@@ANTSEMUT1 _that's compatibile with your toy. I've heard some like oil based for activities back there because they don't dry out like water-based and don't destroy silicone toys like silicone-based. I don't recall using anything but water-based solo or with a partner, for any use yet, though, so I can only convey that I've read about that, and that they can destroy condoms, not any 1st hand experience with the stuff.

[@justme-gg9ei]

A few years back I underestimated how slippery the road can be when it's snowing for the first time and crashed on the highway, totalling my car. I got out without injury but looking back at it I was in shock. A police car picked me up to take me to the station and all I could think of was the exam I had the day after and proceeded to study for it in the freaking police car! (I would like to thank everyone who helped me that day, I never got to do it in person because things were moving so fast, but all of you are wonderful people! Thank you!!)

[@johns7734]

Some years back, we had a 3 year old drown in a swimming pond during a party. Two EMTs and two medics in the back of the ambulance working him for all we're worth. A cardiologist was at the party and took the ride with us. He was as useful as the proverbial tits on a bull! I understand that he had quite a bit of trouble dealing with it after the call. That environment is what we train for. He was used to ordering tests, interpreting tests and placing stents. No comparison.

[@debkunkel5840]

Hey, I won't tell you what to do in the OR and you don't tell us what to do in the back of the ambulance and everything has a better chance of being ok.

[@greatleader4841]

@@debkunkel5840 100% true. i'd trust an EMT or fire fighter to save my life outside of an OR or ICU than i would a random "doctor"...I mean if jill biden can call herself a doctor then can i be sure that's an actual doctor?

[@anonymouse8124]

@@greatleader4841 Completely irrelevant political jab, there. Jill Biden calls herself a doctor because she has a PhD, end of story. Not close to everyone who has "Dr" in front of their name is a medical doctor, and they don't have to be.

[@Aeroldoth3]

John What's the difference between an EMT and a medic?

[@Aeroldoth3]

@@greatleader4841 "if jill biden can call herself a doctor" The level of stupidity of some people is just _staggering._ Jill Biden calls herself a doctor because she IS a doctor. The fact that millions of conservatives will blindly swallow every batshit insane lie that right wing media spews is just horrifyingly sad. People who earn doctorates are called "doctors". Medical doctors are only ONE KIND of doctor. I'd tell you to educate yourself, but you probably think education is all communist, marxist, socialist, fascist brainwashing propaganda from China. Sad !

[@29roadking]

I’ve had a proctologist, a urologist, and an ENT try to help on calls, two were at the same time, and they argued about what treatment was appropriate while my partner and I ignored them.

[@bluehealer81]

The one I said that still stays with me is "Sir, please don't lick the ambulance."

[@WindInMyWings]

It is truly amazing how many people fall over onto vegetables while nude, or do some DIY while nude then back into a door handle which happens to be loose and then come off inside them. Total accidents, each and every one.

[@meganbarber3599]

"Million to one shot, doc. Million to one."

[@waffles3629]

Yep, like if it is by accident there is going to be noticeable trauma to the area. If your entire back is cut up from glass I'd believe a bottle ended up there by accident. But I'd bet that's less than 1% of "accidents".

[@seanworkman431]

There was a guy who called for an ambulance, gave the address and said he was stuck. The paramedics arrived to find a guy with his genitals stuck in the vacuum hose. Not missing the humorous side of things they load him on a stretcher, unplugged the vacuum from the wall, load that on and wheeled him into ER like that. I wonder what miraculous excuse he came up with for that accident?

[@tuvelat7302]

This reminds me of Wolowitz and the robotic arm he "borrowed" from NASA. lol. (Big Bang Theory reference)

[@bryanblake8607]

Don’t mess with me while cleaning my room!!!

[@aaronseidl5941]

@@bryanblake8607 scary movie 🤣🤣

[@bryanblake8607]

Yes!!!! Someone got my reference!

[@skydiverclassc2031]

Nothing sucks like an Electrolux!

[@bigedslobotomy]

One that I’ve seen as a respiratory therapist that you probably have also seen: “If you’re yelling at me, you can breathe!”

[@veramae4098]

That was said a lot after George Floyd died. "He could breathe, or he wouldn't be able to talk" (beg for his life). I finally had a thought and tried talking while breathing in. Nope. You can only talk breathing out. RIP George.

[@njux1871]

@@veramae4098 you absolutely can talk while breathing in. but Floyd's death was still manslaughter and utter brutality.

[@Belphegorite]

My instructor used to say "Screaming is good. They can feel and they're moving air."

[@alrightyru]

That specific clip about the "..let's test if you're choking - say hi.. Hi. You're not choking" I probably watched it 40 times in a row and could not stop laughing!! 😂

[@Beohun]

​@veramae4098 I've explained to people before that people who have experienced breathing issues in the past, like my mother, will say they can't breathe because they feel the start of an episode and past experience makes them believe it's going to be a bad one. Also some people may say they can't breathe when they mean they're having trouble breathing.

[@kellysnowe830]

The blood sugar one is so accurate. My personal favorite was the person who didn't want me to check their loved ones blood sugar because the "needle would hurt them." That I didn't need to because they had given them some sugar and they'd come around. Their blood sugar was over 500. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@oliwiabaranska781]

My personal Best was 700 and then i had to go to the hospital

[@fhtre2]

​@@oliwiabaranska781 I had just started emt school as a resident for a local district. We got called for an unresponsive patient, this lady was sitting legs out and back against the front of the couch with a gcs of 5 and only responsive to pain. known diabetic so we immediately take a sugar, it read HI. I did a double take and looked at the PM, showed him, took it again, HI. We ended up using her home meter and it said 1260, only time I've ever seen a meter max out.

[@BRUtahn]

Well, they weren't wrong.

[@yourmum69_420]

@@oliwiabaranska781 what is that mmol/l?

[@yourmum69_420]

@@fhtre2 my meter's maxed out HI and LO a few times

[@cyrus986]

Always tell the truth to your doctor or a paramedic. They're there to save your life not rat you out or make fun of you.

[@mysterymayhem7020]

exactly, we'll do that later after we drop you off. Stories must be told and laughs must be laughed.

[@run4walk]

Absolutely. Not a doctor, but a vet. And It's very frustrating when people lie about their dog's life because they don't want to seem like irresponsible owners. For god's sake, the most irresponsible thing you can do for your dog is lie to their vet. I'm not going to shout at you for overfeeding your dog, but you need to tell me that your 20KG dog is eating 2000 calories a day so that I don't shit myself whenever his blood test results don't flag anything up.

[@sciencenerd777]

Even if they will ... One's priority is to become better . Not your ego. So tell the truth and shame the devil

[@cyrus986]

@@ShyguyMM Valid

[@buckadillafilms]

They can and will send you to jail or worse if you tell them the wrong thing. "Wrong" being defined by the state, county and district you are injured in. *Doctors are people too and not above their own prejudices.*

[@LucidDreamer54321]

Had a patient ask "Can you feed my dogs before we leave?" Patient did not have an immediate life-threatening condition, so we fed the dogs.

[@moeruss2726]

Wow you went above & beyond. Lucky doggies. ❤

[@tjking7457]

Story time! So my dad was a paramedic/firefighter for 34 years (20 of which spent as LT). He told me about a call he had where when they rolled up there was a woman performing CPR on a man. The man was fully conscious and yelling “Get- this - b***h- off- me!” between compressions. The woman responded with “Don’t worry I’m a nurse, I know what I’m doing.”

[@atlas2296]

What exactly was wrong with the man?

[@tjking7457]

@@atlas2296 im not entirely sure, I believe the lady found him asleep in his car and dragged him out and did compressions while calling 911.

[@meganbarber3599]

Holy crap! 😳

[@billybobjoephilcorncobtiptopge]

bruh she was a dumbass💀 a needless cpr can stop someone's heart

[@waffles3629]

Oh I really hope he sued and she lost her license. As soon as he started talking she should've known to stop. Because *shocker* dead people can't talk.

[@DeputatKaktus]

OMG, the water bottle convo....this brings back memories. Can also be a TV remote, or something that is high up on a shelf in the kitchen. *1000 yard stare*

[@HM2SGT]

Or it’s a holiday. Or there’s a thunderstorm. Or it’s a day that ends in ‘Y’…🙀🤦‍♂️🙄🤷‍♂️😹 Working private service second gig horizontal Uber, taking a frequent flyer home one evening. Pass the municipal crew coming in, she pats Catfish on his arm as we pass; “I’ll call you later“. They almost had to physically restrain T-Ray.

[@dinascharnhorst6590]

Did a lift assist, and once we got them off the floor and into their recliner, the patient asked for their walker, the TV remote, a bottle of water, and...could we go to the freezer, take out a meal, heat it up, and bring it to them? SMH

[@gregorymaroda4860]

I have EMT friends who have mentioned the TV remote. And the guy who was on oxygen who wouldn't put out a cigarette.

[@sirBrouwer]

@@gregorymaroda4860 but cigarettes and liquid oxygen go so well to getter. To be honest i don't think that the patient will feel much if it does go wrong. The person scraping his remaining flesh from any surface that will give you some DNA will however.

[@gregorymaroda4860]

@@sirBrouwer To be fair, it was the EMTs who were worried. If the guy wanted to smoke, that's fine. They just weren't going to get near him while he was.

[@Momcat_maggiefelinefan]

You should hear some of the tall tales you hear as an ER nurse! So many things end up where they shouldn’t be, just by accident. Best one was a wad of $20’s our ER doc found during a pelvic exam. Working “lady” had been looking for it and thought it had been stolen. How? From where? Now I know my mother wasn’t lying when she said all money is dirty. Greetings from Canada. Where the $20’s are kinda sketchy! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦

[@jacobs.9797]

God, that expression during the pause after, "I'm a urologist" said so much while saying nothing at all.

[@jamesalles139]

'back to work'

[@hoppytoad79]

Like Rand Paul, the optomitrist, weighing in on COVID like he knows what he's talking about. *rolls eyes*

[@KristenRowenPliske]

I’m sure he’s current with his CPR & ACLS. 🙄

[@ivenstorm]

My favorite experience of something like this was back in I want to say 2006/2007 at a local mall. The fire alarm was going off, so we all rushed to evacuate. Meanwhile this one lady decided to park on a fire lane while waiting for her friend to finish shopping. One of the firemen looked at her with a face I'll never forget and screamed at the top of his lungs, "lady do you not hear the alarm going off? Either you move out of the f'n way, or we're pushing you out of the way. I couldn't contain my laughter at the sheer thought of parking your car on a fire lane during an emergency.

[@merryjane7558]

Got on scene seconds behind another crew. Walked in and the patient was naked, and had visible dependent lividity, but the other crew was all, "but he's warm!" Until I calmly walked over and turned off the space heater two feet away, pointed at his head.

[@greyeyed123]

The problem of specialists believing they know much more than they do is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. My mom has Parkinson's, and over the years has had multiple neurologists, a urologist, a pain doctor, a sleep doctor, an OBGYN, a family doctor, among others I can't even remember (including several substitute doctors who REALLY screwed up). Several years ago she had 2-3 years that were a nightmare because 3-4 of the doctors were all working at cross purposes, each thinking they knew enough about the other areas to add new meds or make sudden changes. I had to do massive amounts of research myself to figure out what was going on and finally get her out of the woods. Now I never make any new changes given by a substitute doctor, and never make any significant change without researching it myself first. What makes things even worse is that they will almost never contradict another doctor. One doctor adds one pill that causes three new side effects, and three other doctors add more medications to counteract those three side effects, which causes 10 more, etc., etc. What a nightmare.

[@acewray4288]

ive been going through this since i was 9. luckily i found a functional nutriontist that looks at EVERYTHING even the fact that i could have been exposed to mold, to my medical and family medical history (psyhc and phys)

[@fogdelm]

Long time ago when I was a lowly EMT, I got it a shouting match with a Dr. There had been a landslide at a really popular fishing spot. It was reported that there were dozens of people in the water. This Dr and his buddy (a dentist) had fished this fisherman out of the river and were doing CPR on him. I was the very first responder on the scene and needed the boat that they were in. The fisherman was very obviously dead. (Back in those days EMT's in my area were only allowed to decide not to start treatment in only a few cases, the kind of stuff that you really never see. Well the tree that had knocked him into the river was one of those graphic reasons not to start) I was yelling at the Dr and his buddy to get the dead guy out of the boat, all while the chief was asking me if I was on scene ( it was about a mile down river) eventually the pair listened to me and moved him out of the boat. I later found out that the Dr was a poditrist, he apologized and told me that he had never been in a situation like that before and totally forgot everything other than do CPR. Looking past the fact that the fisherman was really really dead.

[@TheBanana93]

Sometimes you can just tell... someone's dead and they aint coming back. Can't reattach a head..

[@sailorarwen6101]

I had an EMT once tell me they showed up to an incident where the persons head was facing the other way, but they were still instructed to perform CPR because it was cold outside so they abided by “you’re not dead until you’re warm and dead.”

[@cassie9169]

I know a home care nurse. She can’t pronounce someone dead so she is required to perform CPR until the paramedics or police tell her she can stop. She’s had patients where she got to their house and they had passed obviously multiple hours previously so she just calls 911 and does halfhearted compressions until she’s told to stop.

[@meganbarber3599]

They don't even go to medical school, they go to podiatry school.

[@allegraadams3037]

For a major incident like that, as temporary IC, couldn’t you just triage them black?

[@dreaminlayers]

As a 12 year old I was in a bus accident on the way to school one morning. This idiot highschool kid tried to beat the bus across a 55mph intersection and ran into the bus right where I was sitting. The girl in his passenger seat was revived on scene but passed away a few minutes later. I was life flighted to the hospital, because I was the only kid on the bus who had lost consciousness and kept blacking out, and as it was fairly close to the beginning of the school year I was wearing brand new school clothes. While in the helicopter they had to cut my clothes off of me, but I was unconscious for most of the flight and didn't realize it, but when my mom showed up to the hospital all I could do was apologize to HER for my ruined clothes and for her having to leave work to come to the hospital. I felt horrible about it to the point of crying!

[@Stargazzer811]

Idiot kid cut 1 life short and almost cut short a few more. Had some kids like that when I was in high school. Fortunately, many of them got ticketed because PD liked to sit just up the road either way after school to catch all the 11th and 12th graders who could drive speeding.

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

I've been apologizing for existing since I was your age too, and let me tell you: NEVER feel like you're a burden. Especially never when your well being and safety are on the line. You deserve to be alive and well and healthy like anyone else.

[@kycone]

I’ve definitely looked a few people in the eye and said “okay now tell me what ACTUALLY happened”

[@ThreeCrabsinaTrenchcoat]

I work in an ER and had a woman complain about the service and how she’s never coming back. We are the only level 1 trauma center in the area by the way.

[@Neoprenesiren]

Sounds like she wasn't lying then

[@gooseii]

Yeah and? I'm in the same situation and feel the same way about our ER. It might literally save my life driving the extra hour to people that are actually competent and don't treat patients like dog shit.

[@gypsybelle4757]

As a critical care ICU nurse, I always loved getting report from the transport paramedics and EMTs. You can’t make this stuff up! 😂 Love y’all! God bless you for what you do! And your amazing coffee that gets us all through the shift. ☕️👍

[@flowersforthedead5182]

My favorite "ended up THERE" story was about an elderly gentleman limping into a crowded waiting room. Triage nurse noticed he gingerly sat in a chair and she was concerned so she went over to him and asked why he was visiting and he asked if there was any way he could speak to a man about his problem. So she respectfully produced said male person for him to speak to. It was the doctor. He had an entire cantaloupe up his ass. He told the doctor and the doctor was just like 👁️👄👁️ and the old man says. "Sorry about this doc. What can I say??? I'm a pervert" lmao

[@isthatrubble]

HOW ..... and how did they get it out

[@flickcentergaming680]

Points for honesty

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Honestly, I kinda respect the open honesty. Old guy just wanted to have some fun.

[@noradinneen1]

What a melon!

[@patrickcrabb6212]

Big Melons! I'm I right guys!....Guys?....hooooo, noooo.

[@ernestpaul2484]

Stopped a Pontiac Venture one night as I was starting my shift with the Sheriff's Dept. The driver drove over the curb and onto a grassy portion on the side of the road. When I got to the driver's door, the female driver lowered the window abut 3/4 the way down and said: "You just stopped me because I'm beautiful." I replied: "No ma am, I stopped you because you just ran that JEEP off the road". She replied: "What JEEP?" Exactly. Blew a .20 on the Breathalyzer.

[@hoppytoad79]

"You stopped me because I'm beautiful" XD Oh, yeah, of course. Caught me! /s

[@noradinneen1]

Oh dear!

[@KelsyerCluster]

"Nothing ever accidentally ends up THERE. So maybe start with what really happened" is the most honest thing ever.

[@suejorgensen46]

We once had someone use the emergency phones on the side of the Freeway ( pre cell phones kids) for a difficulty breathing Pulled up and it turned out no difficulty breathing but Satan had told him he needed to kill someone in Phoenix and he needed directions..sure buddy walked back to the engine and because this is pre cell phone days have to tell dispatch we need the cops to grab this guy before he drives to Phoenix. It was an unforgettable conversation!

[@wizardsuth]

Sounds like he belonged in the psych ward.

[@NotSoLegendaryGreen]

Ohhhh, he wanted to dial 411 and all he had was the freeway phone? Glad he goofed it then...

[@alexia3552]

I hope that guy went to psych inpatient long-term

[@krel7160]

@@NotSoLegendaryGreen Satan told him one thing, and the angel on his shoulder decided to take matters into his own hands, i guess :D

[@Rietu]

As a type one diabetic, that insulin one *terrifies* me. Thankfully, I have given my friends simple instructions in how to use my sugar monitor, and basic rules in the case of an emergency - never give me insulin. If my sugars are that high, I'll have noticed already. If I'm conscious, provide me with my ever-present jelly babies from my bag. If I'm not conscious, please don't stuff jelly babies down my throat and make sure that 999 have been dialled. I do feel the need to revisit the lesson after that one though...

[@steve5772]

My brother had an electrical fire in his house. He called the fire brigade, briefly attempted to fight the fire, calmly walked downstairs, grabbed a 10 pack of beer and was sat on a bench in front of the house on his second can when the fire fighters arrived. He told them where the fire was, and don't take the big hose in because he didn't want to have to deal with that much mess. The house was pretty much fine, the beers didn't survive.

[@HUDY_95]

These videos literally get me through the day!!!

[@KSH243]

Next week I hit 18 years in EMS. I literally had flashbacks to every one of those same conversations…… I’m ready for a scotch.

[@veramae4098]

🍺🍺

[@xalasor]

The low blood sugar one got me, I have a friend with Type 1 diabetes so I've learned a lot and i was just like "that diabetic is...not having fun"

[@kristenkaz3080]

My mom was an RN for 30 years & once got a call at the nurse’s station desk by a guy who admitted he & his wife were playing around & now he had a vibrator stuck inside him. My mom told him if he wanted to wait until morning, it wasn’t really advised. He should come in right away. He declined. The couple came in about 90 mins later; he said he couldn’t sleep-the vibrator was STILL ON & the vibration was too much for him. He was pretty sheepish & so was his wife.

[@calebbones6502]

had a customer where i work feeling sick shortly after taking drugs, PD got there before Fire or MMR and the customer was a dick to the officer, and getting very defensive about having taken drugs. The officer had to say multiple times "i am not here to arrest you, i am here to make sure that you do not die"

[@thef0urth326]

Stop trying to make cops look like anything more than racists that will gun you down for being the wrong color. Guaranteed this didn't happen, but you still gotta preach "muh thin blue line" and make them look like the good guys, right? Fuck outta here...

[@rebeccahicks2392]

@@thef0urth326 So someone can't tell a story about something that happened where they work? Just out of curiosity, do you think the same thing about black cops? Yes they exist.

[@thef0urth326]

@@rebeccahicks2392 Nah dude, just trolling. Kinda not worth it in my opinion

[@creativedesignation7880]

@@thef0urth326 Why is this something you enjoy doing? Or if you don't enjoy it, why do you do it? Seriously, it's a mystery to me why people feel the need to troll.

[@spacejesus6581]

@@creativedesignation7880 trolling is only funny when it's people you know and for fun, I rarely find it entertaining to troll someone random on the internet (unless they're an idiot, but idiots are pure comedy)

[@moreparrotsmoredereks2275]

I got knocked out in an MMA fight, woke up in an ambulance and had this conversation: "Did I fight yet?" "Yeah" "Guess it didn't go very well then, did it?" "No, no it didn't." "Fuck"

[@serahloeffelroberts9901]

There was a time when the EMTs used to come to my house on a regular basis because i was caring for a frail elderly woman. Since it was the middle of the night i would always send them on their way with bottled water, home made cookies and sandwiches to go because i figured that they might be hungry. I figured they deserved it because they were always so nice and professional abd all the places they could get food were closed.

[@tonyray99]

Working in a college town: get called to help with smoke detectors. Figured we’d be changing batteries as usual. Nope! Found the smoke detector on the floor in pieces… Battery was low and beeped. They Googled what to do but ran across an article describing how it worked and that some of them had radioactive material in them. So they decided not to touch the detector because it was too dangerous and instead took a broom and knocked it off the ceiling. Still beeping because the almost dead battery was still in it. So they beat it with the broom until it was in so many pieces that the battery came loose. Then they called us in to help. Too little too late. And these are the leaders of tomorrow. God help us all…

[@scootermom1791]

Oh my goodness! This made me laugh so hard! 😅😅😅😅😅

[@CarlosBenjamin]

Had a fella with a Brut bottle (remember those?) stuck up there and he said he slipped in the shower and that’s how it got there (you could even see the little chain in the X-ray). The doctor responded very seriously, “Oh. I know what you mean. We had a guy in here last week with a cucumber up there. He had slipped in the produce department at the grocers.”

[@20beesinasuit19]

ive only been on a handfull of calls in my 5 months of being a volunteer firefighter, and my favourite would have to be the guy who said 'i too important and too busy to be held up like this' after a medivac chopper has just landed to take a drowning victim to the hospital

[@CannaCJ]

Some folks would rather see someone die than take an ego check.