Coping with Grief & Tips for Getting Back on Track ☁️ (how to get yourself out of a rut)

[@TomBrzezicki]

I’m an older retired fellow, so I’m always a little surprised when KZbin sends one of your videos in my direction. Today’s video title caught my attention, however, and listening to you speak I found much to agree with. I like what you had to say about avoiding the self-improvement rat-race, the need to feel we must always be productive in some way, and-perhaps worst of all-comparing ourselves to others. I agree with you that time spent in contemplation, reverie, or simple daydreaming, is never time wasted. It’s winter here in eastern Ontario, so there are mornings when I may spend an hour or so flopped out on my living room couch, simply gazing out the window as snowflakes drift quietly down from the sky. It’s peaceful and it’s calming and I know the breakfast dishes and other household chores will still be there when I’m ready to get moving. “You have to be there to enjoy life,” you say, which corresponds with my own personal philosophy that it’s not enough to live your life, you have to know that you’re living it. We’re only allotted a finite number of sunrises, sunsets, and other beauties of the natural world to enjoy, so we should get outdoors and take in all we can, while we can. You’ll find this becomes especially true as you get older and realize that you’re down to the last few slices of the Great Cherry Cheesecake of Life. “I’m so lucky to be here,” you say: my thoughts exactly every morning I wake up. In dealing with the death of a loved one, I find it helps to think of how the person would want you to respond. To grieve their loss? Yes. To think of them fondly? Yes. To remember the good times shared? Yes. But to be sunk into despondency, or hopelessness, or despair? I don't think so. We should continue living our lives as our departed loved ones would wish us to, and so keep our memories of them alive.

[@juanortiz-velazquez824]

My condolences zara. Just know you are loved and are in our thoughts

[@ma0987]

❤

[@cassandrawelch1292]

Zara, the timing on this could NOT have been any better. 3 years since I lost my boyfriend, not 'cause we broke up with each other, and I've been stuck in a funk since Christmas. Thank you, Zara. I haven't watched the video yet, but I'm hoping it helps.

[@SubconsciousChaos]

i've fought that off and down so many times, my heart aches they hit a point where they couldnt. i'm so sorry to everyone who loved them. know the silence when the computer is off and the house quiet is carrying the thoughts/prayers if your the type from everyone here. if you are struggling-please stay. you are cared for.

[@ZiriO]

This came to me at the right time, I'm recovering from losing two very close family members in the last year, as well as struggling with some flavor of undiagnosed neurospicy. It's been very hard, but you're right. Getting up and doing a little at a time does help. The sunshine does help. Things may not be bettwr today, but soon.

[@josephinealgra8858]

A year ago a really good friend of mine took her own life too. Grief is hard; especially when you couldn’t have said goodbye. I’m virtually hugging you, I know what you are going through, at least a little 🫂 my condolences, stay strong.

[@CateCaught]

I’m so sorry. I hope you are able to take time to yourself, and recover. ❤️

[@BellaOspina-b1p]

Aww I’m so sorry for your lost.may god be with you

[@Anyaqueensversion]

My boyfriend broke up with me specifically because of my eye seizures. It’s been a day and I feel like it’s all my fault. If I wasn’t here I wouldn’t have to struggle. If I take my own life, people would not have to be so careful around me. Seeing your videos keep me from thinking those things and I thank you for distracting me from my thoughts. Thank you.❤

[@Urfav_ginger2]

No. I know that it feels hard now, and you think it's your fault but it's not. That is your ex boyfriend's problem for not liking you for you. There is someone out there who would give the world to have you. Remember that. It's hard now, but soon you'll be enjoying the sunsets with the people who love you. If you weren't here, somebody would lose a piece of their heart. If you took your own life, somebody else will feel the pain you feel ×100. You are loved. Your boyfriend is the only one who has a problem with it. You have probably subconsciously saved someone from su1c1de. You are probably keeping somebody from su1c1de right now. Stay on this earth and look at the sea. Stay on this earth and look at the sunsets. Stay on this earth and hug the people you love. Stay on this earth and find somebody who will love you no matter what happens. Stay on this earth and visit the places you haven't yet. Stay on this earth and do your favourite thing everyday. Stay on this earth. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Velvet_wings908]

You will find someone who will absoultely love your eye seizures and will accept everything about you

[@a_little_demon]

it's not your fault. it's not on you, it's on your ex for abondonning you in your time of need.

[@k.c.r.5974]

It's his loss. Not yours. And never forget... because sometimes I do... But... Always remember your loved ones... As they love and remember you... It's they who will be crushed by the loss of you. And this life... As hard as it can be... This life Is a miracle. Let's make it last forever. 🙏💜🤙

[@EmOrganically]

We're so synchronized. I was thinking about JUST this the other day, and I am with you on this. Grief is tough. It so is. I'm so sorry for the loss of that beautiful human. :( I'm grateful to know you, I hope one day, I get to hug you - for now just know I send you a bunch of love and virtual hugs. 💞 love you Zara

[@jenniferferreira9061]

My heart goes out to their family. I’m so sorry for your loss. I want to thank you for sharing your experience. You’re a strong woman. You got this ❤❤❤.

[@VickyLynn3]

It is a hell of a crazy world we live in. Take care and give grace to yourself. ❤️

[@greenian5254]

About 5 years ago I lost my best friend to his own mental health struggles. He was one of the most beautiful, fun-loving, whimsical, snarky, and intelligent people I knew. I keep him alive in memory by retelling his jokes and talking about him with other people, although I don't always tell them what happened. I wish that I could say it get's easier, but really you just stop crying as often. I understand, I'm sorry, and you have my condolences. Check in with your friends, because life is hard and sometimes all we need is someone to listen and see us.

[@veritysmart]

Sometimes the only thing to put on your list is to be kind to yourself today. Everything is an experience even the uncomfortable stuff.

[@Quinalem]

Thanks for that video Zara. I'm dealing with my 3rd grief in a short time, all were dearly beloved souls for me. This happens while my life is still in standby for health issues, and ASD/ADHD diagnosis in progress. I'm at that point of global saturation where life hardly seems to make sense, sometimes. So yes, your video helps. A lot. Your advice is what I concluded too on my side, but hearing it from someone else, someone who does care the same way I do, this means a lot. Thanks.

[@Pixi-w1z]

I hope you’re gonna feel better❤️❤️❤️ Sending all of my love from Denmark❤️🇩🇰

[@ttrslegend-n1q]

This is a good reminder to love yourself because my older.sister was stabbing her arm at night and my mum didn't want to tell be but I knew straight away and stayed annoying to just hide that I knew and that was in December 2024 and now she is 14 and then she was 13 she is super Annoying but if she did take her life I would be devastated because she's like a mum to be she's been by my side with everything so if she would did i would want to come with her.

[@ttrslegend-n1q]

Reminder just love yourself because you matter (sorry bout the hole paragraph lol

[@MilaVlogs-XOXO]

Oh Zara. I’ve been really unwell this winter and have just started to get help and I actually think you are a big part of what made me reach out to someone about my mental state. I cannot tell you how thankful I am and how much I appreciate you as a person. I’m sorry you are not feeling great at the moment, but I hope you know how good things are going to get and how many people genuinely love you! I really hope you see this ❤❤ Lots of love. Xx

[@sophbennett8061]

I'm not gonna say I'm sorry for your loss or something like that bc for some ppl that can make them worse of being reminded of it. Personally I'm a neurodivergent person and I'm so so proud that you can sit down and talk to a camera and have lots of support xx weather you have 1,000,000,000 fans I will still watch your videos to let you know we care this is my first ever comment on your video because I've been to scared I will get judged. I just want to say in proud that you got out!! I've never related to a video more!!!

[@cherylhowker1792]

Just to reply, I won’t judge you…. And I’ve felt the same 100% but in the end say something,and have to hope that there are others that won’t judge and I’ve found that most don’t. X take care x

[@owendesaints7701]

i love that you do what you do, & your so likeable so it doesnt matter if someone has tourettes or not they can (everyone can) learn from your experiences and what you have to say

[@mariaandresfernandez5456]

"I think it's a form of numbing when we scroll" 8:31 *Me: realises I'm doing it right now* lol😂🤦‍♀️

[@_James_Pond_]

Time you enjoyed wasting is not time wasted. I read this sentence somewhere recently and find it quite true and helpful. I'm so sorry for your loss, Zara. I wish you all the best and you got this. Thank you so much for the video!

[@staceyroslund8877]

Thank you for this video!! I am going through a similar things right now and you hit a lot of key points that I go through! And knowing that I do take days and do nothing half the day. It’s not a terrible thing. And you’re right hearing other people‘s issues and how they deal with. It is so helpful! This is gonna make the rest of my day!😉💜💯 I love how brave you are and open you are on your videos. I don’t have any disabilities other than my mental health! And that can be huge! So thank you for making me feel a little more sane today.😬

[@cherylhowker1792]

All I can say watching this is I love how open you are, the things you say make me feel like I’m looking in a mirror- ok it’s over different things and about different things but the feeling and actions feel the same 9:25 I am the same and that’s why I have to have someone with me daily to get me food and drink as I just don’t go get it, it’s such a hard thing for me to do, I have a love hate relationship with food. I know I need it and at times I have cravings like most people but on the average day when I’m living in my head- food doesn’t matter and I eat so I don’t get nagged at and it’s easier to just do as I’m told so I can get back to being blaaa. On a good day I love food and will choose what I want and atually enjoy it but that’s not often. Drinking is the same I can forget to sink anything all day- then I don’t wee as don’t need to and then I wonder why I get infections and get sick and feel worse then I did. And I do it to myself. And every time I say I will do better and unless someone is reminding me I don’t. Then I feel I’ve failed myself and my family and then the spiral 🌀 starts-maybe it just never ends but changes in size???…. Maybe. Omg I haven’t talked this much in along time- I haven’t opened up in a few weeks as atm everyone is going through something themselves and don’t feel my crap is worth talking about, as it’s the same shit as 6/8/10/12/15 weeks ago. Just a different day. I’m still me. I’ve been that person that puts a plan in place and even got to step 9/10 but in the end my family’s feelings is what’s stopped it. I know I couldn’t put them through that, to make them feel they weeent enough for me to stay,and they are. But I feel I always pull everyone down . Which probably isn’t true, but it’s how I feel. And it’s ok not to be ok, I have learnt that. But it’s taken me the best part of 5years telling myself every time I feel like it, I tell my self , but it’s ok… not to be ok, coz in a min,a day,a week, it will be ok. And the main thing I’ve learnt is to break the day- everyday down, it’s too big as a full day, on bad days it can be 30-60mins slots on other days it’s hour by hour. And I’m the hardest critic I have. And I’m still learning that I need to be kinder to myself and . It’s all well east to say and type but another thing to atually do. Sorry I’m so negative. But thanks for the space to open up a bit. And remember that you doing these videos and everything on your page, give a lot of people a place to be who they are and say what they feel. Knowing it won’t be judged by you. Others maybe but have to learn trolls are everywhere and have bogies (like in Harry Potter) lol

[@jorenvandevijver5435]

I've been in a sad episode, thinking about life and stuff. This made me feel grounded and slow down again. Thanks for that

[@OliviaAkabueze]

Sorry for your loss 😢. Thanks for the tips, you just made my day.

[@rocketgirlygirl8658]

I’m so sorry for your loss! Unfortunately we are in the same situation, as I just lost my grandpa not even a week ago.

[@Mattie_Cardiff]

Thank you for mentioning the 30 days, getting up at 5am challenge videos. Those videos make me feel like everyone else is ahead and those things don’t work for everyone.

[@Lets_B_Unique]

I love you. Thank you. You posted this when I was being depressed and trying to get myself out of my rut. We are doing it together, and that's very helpful

[@ducky_noodlez_]

I lost my best friend a year and a half ago to suicide. She didn't have tourettes but she was neurodivergent and incredibly mentally unwell. Its so hard to accept that they are gone and it's so painful. But you will get through it and you will learn to live with that grief. I can't say I think the grief I feel is any smaller, but Ive learnt to live around that grief x

[@AshleyYin-k8f]

I’m so sorry for your loss Zara.

[@CarVega-c6u]

I am so so sorry and I know it’s going to be hard and that it will suck but just know you can take all the time you need and we love you🫶

[@elspethfougere9683]

Thank you so much for covering this topic Zara ❤

[@maaikebouwman1168]

Hey Zara👋 First i wanna say; Sorry for the loss of your friend! You're a beautiful, young woman. And if talking to a camera is like therapy for you, please continue. If that makes you feel better, than that's good for you! I'm listening! Also, seeing you cry for a bit, because you see the sunset (and it made you happy), was actually kinda beautiful. Good to let your emotions out❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@HaydenGardner-j8f]

I am so sorry. I lost my dog that I’ve known since I came from the hospital as a baby 4 years ago, five years this year and I think of her every night

[@Franziska-yk8fp]

i am very sorry for you loss and i am sending you a big hug❤

[@mrsubtlemouth6838]

Thanks for this. Been struggling alot too recently and feeling like i havent been mentally present in my life. Helps to know your not alone sometimes. Time is the best healer

[@Zara_Beth]

time really is the best healer 🙌🏻

[@anonumus9175]

your the best thank you so much I had tears in my eyes, your just so kind and im sorry for your loss but thank you for uploading this its made my week and I feel much better so thank you

[@notgettinganysleep]

Ive been in a bad flare up and in burnout, this was so helpful Zara i really needed this today

[@jameson3214]

I am thankful to see your smile on my YT homepage every single day.

[@nicolej4649]

Perfect timing for me with this video! Deeply, Thank you so much ❤

[@Franziska-yk8fp]

thank you very much for this video🥰

[@clarakaylamarion7982]

So sorry for your loss. I also have FND and Tourette’s and it’s not easy. People need to take mental health seriously. Please take care of yourself. I watch your videos everyday and that makes me feel a little better about my journey with Tourette’s and non epileptic seizures. Im also autistic. I’m thinking of you during this hard time.

[@clarakaylamarion7982]

I’m still learning to process the loss of my mom. She died July 2024 and holidays coming up it triggers me.

[@Zara_Beth]

@@clarakaylamarion7982 sending hugs 🫂

[@MMillie93]

First of all I’m so sorry that you lost someone, and I hope that you can process your grief ❤️ Second I was just wondering if you would make a video discussing body image and chronic illness? As someone who struggles with both I would really appreciate your take and opinions :)

[@Zara_Beth]

it isn't something I'd currently be comfortable making a video about, but there are lots of creators who share amazing content about body image and confidence :)

[@iOlivia.Charis]

Really appreciated this today xx

[@GracieNixon-c6t]

I needed this Zara xx thank youu x ily gorgeous xx

[@DICEcommander]

Zara you are one of the most special girls I have ever seen. You are a beautiful blossom. I love you. Thank you for your bravery. I think your videos are great for people with anxiety’s too. You are honest and soft hearted with lots of warmth and coziness. I love strong girls. :) sometimes I forget all the basic stuff :p most days (lately) keep up the positive vibes . :) god is watching over you sweetheart. You are adorable.

[@anonumus9175]

I needed this my girlfriend dumped me after 5 months together we both have mental health issues and she recently got diagnosed with FND so she couldn't be together anymore and ive been stuck feeling terrible ever since and this has helped so much thank you, I hope you recover soon Zara ❤

[@rmflovesfrenchtoast2611]

hi im someone who has autism/Neurodivergent I just lost my cousin recently and this video has helped me and I'm so sorry about ur loss

[@Ashlyn_Banner_dogs]

💛

[@legohuman0778]

I love you. *hugs*

[@EmOrganically]

Aw bless I love this, Yes. Do things that make you feel good. Biiiiiig big hugs, and btw I do agree with you. :) xox

[@LeilaniNelson-f9o]

hey zara i just watching a video about yours and it's hurt me to listen bc i know how hard it is for u i'm sorry for you're loss of your friend it's so hard bc i have a disability and i struggle with that on every daily basic and it's tough but i know how hard it is for all others to listen to that but we are not going through it alone i struggle when i awake up and that tough for me to get me through that hell but it's hard for me

[@Sara-i8o2d]

This came at a good time, I lost my friend to mental health struggles on the 10th of November, 2024 @ 9 Pm

[@Zara_Beth]

sending gentle hugs 🫂

[@HarryElves]

❤

[@Dresstoimpress-m8u]

I really feel bad for you 😢😢 1:50

[@filepz629]

❤️‍🔥ZARA💎BETH❤️‍🔥

[@tinklostboy]

💚✨

[@isabelcrossley7787]

I am so sorry a while ago I wanted to leave this earth but seeing the pain people go through made me change my mind and I know it is hard to lose someone in that way stay strong you got this ❤️‍🩹

[@TouretteAwareness]

As a member of the Tourette’s community, it hurts me alot to hear this. It’s sad people decide to do this.

[@clarakaylamarion7982]

I agree. I have lived with Tourette’s for over 20 years. I can’t even imagine what people are going through. I have no words.

[@sbcwmas1688]

I'm so sorry for your loss Zara. Would you be comfortable sharing a name so I can say Kaddish for them?

[@David-vd9sb]

Hi how are you feeling at the moment

[@k.c.r.5974]

VNV - Beloved Victory not Vengeance. Lets show empathy and compassion and love to others. Including ourselves. Thank You Zara. 🙏💜🤙

[@stevenford4719]

Suicide is hardest for the people left behind who were close to the person. That was so broken that they felt that was the only solution for them. The best advice I can give you From somebody who is 56 years of age is Don’t try and understand why . just try to comprehend and realise how broken they must’ve been and learn to accept. There 11:55 was nothing you could do to change. What happened . Sorry you are dealing with something so hard so Young. Also sorry to have to tell you that all you can do is pick up the pieces of your life and do whatever you can to keep moving forward, unfortunately it’s an all you can do. I hope that you feel better soon.

[@Zara_Beth]

thank you ❤

[@Call_Me_Cedar]

I’m sorry, is the saying “A pinch of salt” in England?

[@TheReal_Moana]

I love you so much Zara, sending love your way especially in this difficult time for you! ❤️‍🩹 I am grateful for this video, I relate to much you’ve said and I just feel for you so much if that makes sense. I really love this type of video and like you sorta said I think it may have been good for you to let your thoughts and feelings out. I’m now going to borrow your idea and make a list of habits that are good for me! Thank you Zara, I hope things get brighter for you soon! 💗🫶🥰

[@Alex10580]

Hiii right now it’s not a good moment but 1:10 i see the heartstopper books in the background 🩷🩷 Hope you get better Zara 🩷🩷 Love from Alex🏳️‍🌈

[@theriansrule13]

I really needed this I’m struggling a lot rn thanks Zara 😅😅😅🥹