LIVING WITH DEPRESSION (Major Depressive Disorder)

[@Alana.Arbucci]

I haven't been depressed in over 2 years. This is what healed me: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYLEeomDlNhoZ5I

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it.

[@johnwick666]

Marry me and i will guarantee to you 100% that i will cure you from depression.

[@jaysartori9032]

It sounds like me!!!

[@notnotte]

Really brave and thank you for that it really helps since we sometimes hide even from our selves (me) , to be honest the reason for me being alive is my religion i know the reason we are here , although i'm arised as a Muslim i came across this man who became a Muslim after he was an atheist and i check it from time to time has deep meanings and it helps me, it may make any sense for you kzbin.info/www/bejne/n5fPnZqKdpejo7s he takes it from religious point of view but it's it self about life meaning . again thanks for the great video it's like having the conversation with my self that i couldn't handle , All the best .

[@ceegee5287]

Glad you’re doing better now ❤️

[@valueinyou9931]

Having severe depression/anxiety is like being terrified and exhausted at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, coupled with no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything bad at once, yet being paralyzingly numb to anything good. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Also a former Catholic School kid who was abused by a neighbor multiple times. Have no idea how I found this channel but you articulated so extremely well it scared me....so well my stomach hurt and eyes welled up relating to it. It's indescribable...yet you did.

[@anoopgowda5948]

This is so apt to how it feels. Man good one!!

[@ectoplasma5]

Very well said,i feel the same.

[@pianotationsystem]

I always get the same advice is either get a girlfriend or make more Money a false dichotomy every time, gets worse as time goes by but I gotta fix it or at least try. Thank you for sharing.

[@train4905]

Wow that is butifull.well said

[@angieperezascenciodelmoral3737]

It's exactly how You described it ... Hard to Even get out of bed

[@michelleleuch]

You’re the reason I’m here today. You’re the reason I left my toxic & manipulative boyfriend over a year ago. You’re the reason I found real love. thank you.

[@michelleleuch]

@Priscilla Martins it was a 2 year relationship for me... believe me, its so scary but my life changed completely for the better. Sending positive vibes and strength to you, you got this!!!

[@michelleleuch]

@Sara Gildo thank you so much!!!!

[@mmmggg111]

I see a lot of comments about toxic relationship first of all it’s totally wrong to treat anyone with physical and mental abuse secondly I’m glad you got out of that relationship. I don’t get how a human being can treat another human being that way

[@julilau2220]

@Priscilla Martins I believe in you! You're strong enough to walk away from toxic people. I send you all my love 🌻💛

[@Korea592]

@Priscilla Martins You're so strong and you can make it on your own.

[@mystic_tacos]

Everything you described at the beginning of this; the depression, the anxiety, hopelessness, why am I here, what's it all for. I've felt all of that since I was 7 years old, and I'm now 47 years old. So many therapists, meds, and books, and still in the end I just say "I'm okay".

[@redsol3629]

A lie.

[@reclusiarchgrimaldus1269]

@@redsol3629 Why would you say that? Absolutely shameful.

[@reclusiarchgrimaldus1269]

Could it be a physiological problem as opposed to a mental problem? I don't know the circumstances that started this when you were 7, but maybe some solutions could be things like a healthier diet and more physical activity. Hope this helps and that you get better🙏

[@reclusiarchgrimaldus1269]

Also try church

[@redsol3629]

@linustechpriest1269 "I'm okay." Is a lie, your shame is yours alone.

[@katiemiller3]

This is kind of an interesting observation. I notice that most people with any type of depression only find happiness in making others happy (including myself). It seems as though because we know our lives aren’t enjoyable, we like to make others lives enjoyable, even for just a moment. The only time I ever feel joy is seeing my dog get excited when I get home or help someone at my work. I can see how much those things mean to them.

[@dianahangan5202]

I can not express in words how much I relate to everything you just said. I often come to the conclusion that my happiness ultimately depends on how happy I can make everyone around me and although it is probably not a good thing, It is comforting for me to know that there are other people who feel the same way.

[@leukles]

I make people happy because it’s become my purpose in life and I’ve made that my purpose because it makes me happy. Seeing others happy is my favorite thing. I don’t ever want them to fall into a deep hole that I went through.

[@tiffanycheri1721]

Yes yes yes! I feel exactly the same way. I can give the best advice and tell people that they’re amazing and they can follow their dreams but cannot take my own advice.

[@unknownfem9450]

It's crazy reading your comment because within my religion (Islam) their is a HUGE importance put on helping others.

[@michelle.mabelle]

This is very true. Very true.

[@kbear6863]

You’re extremely intelligent, it’s often the smartest people that have the most demons to fight. This video is more important than you know. ❤️

[@antsyana9974]

This is so true.🙌

[@itstatilol4392]

That’s what my therapist says too, glad to hear she isn’t just trying to hype me up when I call myself dumb lol

[@miradehoca9930]

True

[@federicaangeli939]

@@itstatilol4392 Leopardi, an Italian author, talked about that as many other Italian authors. So, yeah, your therapist was saying the truth! 😊

[@margaretmouka5552]

I agree. It can feel isolating

[@srebrenkabrecevic8822]

My tears just starting coming off every time she described every feeling she had. I felt that finally someone understood how was like to feel nothing…

[@Iliaprod]

A cure is the Holy Quran

[@mimibelta259]

@@Iliaproddon’t push your religion on others please

[@Iliaprod]

@@mimibelta259 I said according to my experience, I was suffering from depression and I recovered, thank God, and I am a Muslim.

[@mimibelta259]

@@Iliaprod I never said you were not Muslim all I’m saying is some people don’t believe in any religion so don’t say it a viable way of getting over depression because for some it is what caused their depression because religion is so restrictive and doesn’t allow people to be themselves.not saying your this way but a lot of religious people think lgbt+community will go to hell and that causes depression because they’re not being accepted as themselves

[@Iliaprod]

@@mimibelta259 On the contrary, everyone who believes in God is much happier, and God says that he forgives all sins, except to associate with him, so your polytheism is the greatest sins that God does not forgive, but in proportion to sins and sins, we all make mistakes and repent to God. I am not good at English, English is weak.

[@sydneyfregozo1016]

I cried so much when you said “there is something that someone has said to at one point in your life and it still bothers you”

[@AnamIqbal]

"I'm hiding such a huge part of my life. I'm literally hiding everything." So frikkin relatable. Pretty much how I feel about every single interaction that I have whilst living with depression.

[@SonyaKhanOfficial]

Literally. I feel that in my soul.

[@mbeadvantage1745]

Focusing forward alleviates dwelling on the past.

[@LadyKfornow_]

So true, nobody knows what we're really going through and nobody understands how bad it is when you explain it! It's like living a double life.... What the world sees and what you are really going through. It's terrifying. Because when somebody finally gives up, everybody who knew them is confused and hurt because they didn't know.

[@aleonearth6339]

literally

[@freshliving4199]

You are not living with depression. You are really living with anger that causes depression. Drop the anger and ALL your issues will fade away, including depression. You need to realize that there is still something missing within you. There is an emptiness within you, can you guess what it is?

[@crandonborth]

I know you’ll probably never see this, but I felt that video deep inside me. I pride myself as a big strong guy but damn when you teared up… I lost it. I found myself looking into your eyes and I could feel your emotions as I know exactly what you’re describing. You’re not alone and neither am I… We got this!! ❤❤

[@krolshymon]

reading, stuck.

[@ella5521]

The fact that you said you feel numb 50% of the time and that no one reached out to you when you told them how you were feeling made me tear up. I am genuinely so proud of you telling us this and giving advice! You are telling us that we are not alone, but I just want to say that YOU are not alone either! We all care about you!

[@humankaleidoscope4989]

I remember when I felt like this all through high school. My depression made it so that I was depersonalized and my whole life felt like a dream. Apparently I told my best friend once, though I don't remember. This was a friend I had helped through so many things and talked to about all her issues... I skipped class to hold her in the bathroom when a guy she liked made her feel like shit. Anyway, at some point she started being weird with me, distancing herself, giving one word answers and putting her earphones in right after. I asked her if anything was wrong, she said no. Eventually I told her I felt like she was acting very different and she told me I made her feel like a bad person. I asked her why, and she said it's because I talk about my depression, feeling numb, etc., and yet I have a better life than her (apparently because I got better grades and had gotten into a good university around that time). She said every time I complained it made her angry, but she knew it wasn't my fault so she would feel like a bad person regularly, and therefore she wanted to stop being friends with me. I didn't even remember outright telling her I was depressed, so when she told me this I got so mad because I was like seriously, you're supposed to be my best friend, and the one time I've told you about anything serious you don't act like you know and try to help at all, or even tell me to get help or anything. I had been suicidal, and it turned out she knew I was depressed all along and I was just doing it all alone with no support when someone KNEW. I felt so betrayed that just because of something I had no idea was bothering her she threw our friendship away. So I can totally relate to Alana saying no one reached out. People who haven't experienced depression don't understand, and even some who do are insensitive. That's part of what makes it so hard.

[@humankaleidoscope4989]

@S M totally, but I think other people showing they want to help (even if they can't) and trying to understand does help, at the very least in making you feel less alone.

[@humankaleidoscope4989]

@S M no worries! :)

[@happytrails699]

You sound just like my son. It has been going on for years. He says he feels nothing. Not sad, not happy, and sometimes feels suicidal. Feels dissociated and is very irritable. It is very hard for boys because they rarely ever want to talk about how they feel. Makes it twice as hard. Very difficult to deal with. I feel so sorry you are dealing with this. It is hard for both the person going thru it and the family that loves them.

[@yuritzylopez7171]

I really hope you find a connection with your soon and help him

[@evavos1999]

My brother too, i don't know how to help him... you're not alone and it must be really hard!

[@whatsreallyinvaccineshealt756]

A-ntidepressants Are$upposed To he|p a d-epressed person Yet 0ne 0f the $ide effects is $uicida| thoughts...CAN ANY 0NE EXPLAIN WHY ???

[@Larsen3306]

Sending strength and love 🙏♥️🙏♥️

[@happytrails699]

@@Larsen3306 😊

[@EliBrink-dt7dv]

Was recently diagnosed with chronic depression. Im exhausted, angry and this video is EXACTLY how I feel

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helps someone as it helps me.

[@swagecca2242]

Man I needed this so bad. I can actually feel the wave of the depression coming on after having random glimpses of “happiness” it’s suffocating. It’s all the breath getting sucked out out of life and just the feeling of doom coming over me. I appreciate you for being real about your feelings

[@Gigi-mn3wh]

I can relate to this so much! This morning I felt so happy with my self with my life and then a little thing happened and out of nowhere I am so depressed and started crying because one thing happened....

[@rosie7640]

Those mood swings are the worst. Its worse than feeling depressed for a long period. But those random waves of happiness that come in random times and then dip just make me feel awful.

[@swagecca2242]

@@rosie7640wow I forgot I commented on this, I have an amazing testimony on my channel if you wanna check it out. I’ve been free from depression and it’s been 5 months, no pills necessary, I now cry tears of joy

[@jokesonyou222]

exactly ! sending love and healing to you

[@Jakecaseyy]

I Hope your doing better now your gorgeous and a talented guitarist! Stay strong !

[@hellolucy2074]

It’s sad because I feel like people see a pretty girl with depression and almost take it as a joke because it’s like “your pretty what kind of problems can you possibly have”. . . Just remember everything is temporary. This is all part of the journey. Don’t give up.

[@meladversity]

ditch the last part and exchange it with "get professional help. go to therapy. be open with people about what's going on." the other stuff will not help a person with depression & it's not helpful advice.

[@jamimarie6117]

It's hard when you are in a deep state of depression to read a book or go to the gym. I work out daily but currently took a week off because of my depression. Therapy is the best way to go in my personal experience. Unfortunately my therapist no longer takes my insurance so I have to try to figure it out on my own. I wish it was that simple just get up and do something positive. On days like these I am lucky to take a shower or eat...I wish it was simple

[@phylliciafield6340]

I can relate to that... I had close friends who became jealous and negated my pain bcuz it appeared on the surface that I had everything

[@liveandletlive7152]

@@meladversity And she even said in the video she tried finding hobbies but nothing makes her happy so yes this advice is not appropriate.

[@mmmggg111]

@@jamimarie6117 I hope u can find another therapist that takes ur insurance so u don’t have to figure it out yourself

[@gregaiken1725]

you are a light in a dark world. and an old soul. your wisdom will help many. you make thousands of people feel 'proud'. my hope and prayer is that one day you look behind you to close a door, and you see the positivity, hope, and love that lies in front of you. and you never look back.

[@karadanvers42]

I am praying for you Alana

[@VickyyTran]

We all are 💗

[@teknosbeka]

Me too❤👋

[@mmmggg111]

Me too

[@devinoneill4934]

It's like you stepped inside my brain... the way you described your experiences is EXACTLY what I've been going through for the past year. Depression is absolutely terrifying, and something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. But when you deal with Depression, you can't escape it. Thank you for speaking out and making me feel less alone.

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

I pray this story helps you find true peace and comfort in your life. God knows what you are going through and if you turn to Him, He will give you a peace and comfort like nothing in this world. Tribute to Ethan by Brett Glidden: It’s been one year, though it seems just like yesterday. I’ll never forget what happened. Ethan, Tobias, and I were sitting on the side of a bluff by the trail, waiting for the others to get back out of the cave. I suggested we climb up to the top. The three of us began to climb, and Ethan said, “First one to the top wins.” I had no idea those would be the last words I’d ever hear him say. Tobias and Ethan quickly reached the top. I’m not much of a climber, and with slippery leaves covering the slope, I took my time as I slowly ascended. I was about two-thirds of the way up when I heard Tobias exclaim about lots of poison ivy. Not wanting to get into that, I decided I had climbed high enough and began to carefully make my way down. It was then that I heard it: the sound of something sliding down the leaves at great speed. I froze when I looked up and saw Ethan slipping down the slope in a sitting position. I had no idea how it happened; all I knew was that he was going to pass by within just a few feet of me. Immediately, I knew what Ethan was heading towards. There was a steep drop to the path, then another bluff below it. During those few seconds, millions of thoughts flew through my mind, but every one of them ended in disaster. I was in a precarious position myself, with nothing around to grab ahold of. Ethan was as large as I was, and at the speed he was sliding, I didn’t see how I could grab him while keeping my balance and not being pulled down myself. Yet, I couldn’t just do nothing. I had no idea what to do. As he slid past me, I simply reached out, not knowing what else to do. I couldn’t quite get ahold of his jacket. I expected him to try to grip my arms, but instead he simply pushed by. At that point, all I could do was watch as he fell. I don’t even remember how I got back down to the path, but somehow I did. As I saw others going to help him, I decided it would be best for me to simply head back to the entrance of the hike and see if I could get more help. I was in deep shock and knew if I tried to climb down to help, I would simply be a hindrance. Medics were called and arrived on the scene. Many of Ethan’s friends had gone to help, but I stayed at the picnic tables, not wanting to even think about what happened. I simply prayed with tears in my eyes. An hour went by, then another. Finally, we heard that they had Ethan on a stretcher and were trying to get him up the bluff. One of the ladies suggested that each of us guys pray. I remember telling God that He knew where every single one of Ethan’s wounds were, and asking that He’d heal them all. It was around that time that Ethan passed away. God answered my prayer; not in the way that I wanted or expected, but in the way that was in His will. What I experienced and went through next mentally and spiritually, I have described in my writing, “Will Your Faith Stand.” It has been a difficult journey since then, but one that God has used to grow me stronger in Him. Not only did I lose my friend, but I was there and saw it happen. There are times in which I start feeling partly responsible. What if I hadn’t suggested we climb the bluff? What if I tried harder to grab him as he slid past me? What if? What if? But as I think about that day, I think about all the events leading up to that moment. There were countless times where if something had happened slightly differently, we most likely wouldn’t have climbed that bluff. But the fact is that it did happen that way, and we did climb, and he did fall. God has given me peace that whatever might have happened differently, the end result would’ve been the same. It was God’s time for Ethan to go to heaven, though we may not understand it. Nothing could change that. Ethan was the closest friend on this earth I ever had, even though he was several years younger than I. When my family moved to Missouri back in 2017, I was a shy and partly reclusive teenager who hid himself in a box of fear. I didn’t like that box at all; I wanted to be friendly and have friends, though I didn’t know how to get out. But a couple weeks after we started attending Liberty Faith Church, Ethan introduced himself and we soon became great friends. Without his help, I think I’d still be in that box to this day. I can remember a few occasions where he practically forced me to get involved with the other teens at the church. Our friendship grew, and we became big parts of each others’ lives. We were both in the choir. I began running the sound booth at church, and a couple of years later, he started as well. My dad hired him on as a worker for our family business. There was even a film project that we were both a part of. God intertwined our lives together, and I’m very thankful for it. I have great memories of joking around, competing with Rubik’s cubes (I still can’t beat his record), taking hikes, playing volleyball, singing, and more. We had many good times together, and I hope I never forget them. Ethan was a wonderful young man who loved the Lord. He was always involved in the church. He would upload the sermons and choir specials to youtube to help spread the truth. I’m thankful God gave me such a good friend. Why did I write all of this? I felt it was time to share my experience that day. Perhaps it will help someone in some way. Through it all, God used it to strengthen and purify my faith. I am very thankful for the few years God gave me with Ethan, but our friendship isn’t over. What do I mean? Well, I know Ethan is in heaven, and someday I’ll join him there. How do I know he’s in heaven? Well, it’s not because of how good he was. The Bible states that all our righteousness is as filthy rags. Ethan was a great young man, but even he had faults and sin, just like the rest of us. God is a loving God, but also holy and just. He cannot allow sin into heaven, and because of that, each and every one of us are doomed to hell. But then how is Ethan in heaven? As I said, God is a loving God, and loves us more than we can comprehend. He cannot allow our sin into heaven, yet He has no joy in the death of the wicked. The Bible teaches that sin requires an innocent sacrifice to pay for it. No amount of our good deeds can pay for even one sin. So, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth in the form of man. He lived a sinless life, the only life worthy of heaven. Yet the world despised Him, and crucified Him on the cross. When that happened, He took all the sins of the world and sacrificed Himself for us, dying on that cross. But on the third day, He conquered even death, rising from the grave so that all may have eternal life! So why is Ethan in heaven? Because before he died, he accepted Christ as his Savior. By doing so, Christ’s innocent blood was imputed to Ethan, paying for all his sins. When he died, God did not see Ethan’s sins, but rather His beloved Son’s payment. Because of that, Ethan is now spending eternity in the presence of God. What about you? Think about it. God has a love so strong for us, that He sent His only Son to die. Would you send your child to die for someone else? Yet, God did so that we all may have a chance at eternal life. If you think your own works will save you, you are spitting at the sacrifice of Jesus. God will not tolerate that. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9: "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast." Repent, admit that you’re a sinner , accept Christ as your Savior, and He will save you. Don’t put it off. You have no idea how long you have on this earth. Ethan only had 16 years. What if he decided to wait until he was older, thinking he had plenty of time? For those who are younger, what if you only have 16 years, or maybe less? For those who are older, God has already blessed you with a longer life than He gave Ethan. You have no idea how short the remainder of your life is. When I left for that hike with my friends, I had no idea we’d be returning without one of them. When we sang “Amazing Grace” in the cave, I had no idea that that would be the last time I’d ever sing with Ethan again. I had no idea that at the time we were planning to have lunch, we would instead be crying and praying. Life is short, and death is sudden. Ethan was ready to go, and so am I. Are you? It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing; God is willing to accept you into His family. Call to Him now, confess your sin to Him, and accept Christ into your heart as your Savior before it’s eternally too late. ©2020 by Simple Tales. Created with Wix.com _______________________________________ A foundation has been set up in memory of Ethan on Facebook If you need further help or would like to send a word of encouragement to the family at: GIT'M Foundation If you need a church, we have live streaming services every Sunday and Wednesday. We would love for you to join our online family or in person. You can find us on the web at: libertyfaith net Or on Facebook at: Reg Kelly-Table In The Wilderness If you would like to read more encouraging stories by Brett Glidden, you can find his site on Facebook at: Simple Tales

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it.

[@DrOcelot667]

You are amazing for posting this. Thank you. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety today which led me here. Simply the tone of your voice sounds familiar to me, because it is how I sound. The numbness is exactly where I end up each week. Your point about people asking about how you are doing is so critical. I noticed a distinct change in my Father's voice today. Once he learned that I got this diagnosis he completely changed his stance, I think he is apologetic because he's been pushing me to get over it and maybe instead, should of listened to what I was communicating. I don't know what I want out of life, I am tired of being constantly pushed to set goals, hit the goals, and set new goals. I feel like I am having a existential crisis because even after achieving more than I could have ever imagined, I am not happy. Money doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy. The goals are all around superficial profession gains and to making more money. You really hit the nail on the head there too. The general way we live is arguably depressing by nature. I don't care if I have a Masters degree and all this experience and certifications if I am an anxious mess from day to day. My general plan is to try to get a work leave situation so I can have time to heal (something they said is strictly regulated). If the docs don't help with that, I am gonna quit my job and enjoy my first summer off in about 16 years. I don't care too much for medications, I am determined to use meditation, good food, exercise, and time off to start the process. Thank you for the video. It's helpful to know I am not alone and I am not crazy. Honestly that's really how I have felt for a while, like I'm just slowly loosing my mind.

[@nanyabiz6752]

Yes... How is it going for you?

[@DrOcelot667]

@@nanyabiz6752 woah, it’s crazy to come back here and read this now. I ended up quitting my job because there was no sign of change. I was completely burnt out. I started off with a lot of meditation practice, reading and studying Zen and Tibetan sources. That helped hugely, I connected with a lot of friends and found I was able to be of emotional support to numerous folks since I had so much time/space without a job. I noticed how so many folks in my life are stressed to unhealthy levels. I really developed habits that were useful for personal growth and healing. I learned how powerful writing things down can be, how powerful reading stories of the human condition are. I read a lot of philosophy. I made it a habit to write things out, write out the best case scenario and update it over time. Reflect on my failures and make sure I’m being honest with myself. It’s still a work in progress but I’m trying to basically update my personality and adapt in a positive and strong way. Learn from the hopelessness I was feeling, what led me there, and how people took advantage of my kind nature. I think it’ll take a full year or two to say I’m fully recovered from the place I was in. Nothing happens overnight, small incremental improvements is the general direction. And it’s been great. I am starting a new job soon and set my boundaries, and will keep my convictions. I do have goals again, I have grown immensely in some ways but recognize I have more work to do. One always has work to do. The clearer the path ahead the better things will be, consist long term relationships and support are critical as well. I’m very excited for the upcoming year, am grateful for where I’m at and that I gave myself space to heal.

[@aimlessweekenders]

It’s important to also note that depression and anxiety can develop at any time in a persons life due to extreme circumstances. Some people can have depression for years and others for only a period of time. Some it’s hereditary and for others it’s not. The important part is to GET HELP, whether it’s family, friends, or a professional, even strangers sometimes understand is better than those close to us 💞

[@user-ci3qu6fy5q]

yeah, i went to the therapist for the first time a month ago, planning to talk about anxiety and it took her half an hour to tell me "girl, you have ptsd." it NEVER crossed my mind, i thought it was just regular ol anxiety lol but it makes so much sense now

[@ceceliamaryn]

I've seen a few influencers talk about how they don't feel fulfilled in their jobs, and I wonder if they were to do a more traditional job, that maybe they'd experience more fulfillment in their work. I know you mentioned you did the nursing work and you loved that, maybe it's time to find something like that, even part time, to off-set the frustration of the "influencer job." There's a lot to be said for that "team feel" that you get from working a normal 9-to-5 job or office job. I work in marketing and I have so many fond memories of office chit chat or fun team events at the office, and even though it's not glamorous or fulfilling EVERY single day, I still overall enjoy my work. I know, personally, I could not handle the amount of scrutiny that influencers/youtubers have on them 24/7, and it's definitely not unrealistic that you're feeling this way. I hope that you can gain some peace and some happiness however that manifests for you, whether that be leaving KZbin, picking up a part-time job, etc etc. Just know we're all rooting for you!

[@Tropical8D]

💯

[@liessiey2904]

I don‘t think that will heal depression and maybe it will worsen the anxiety.. but everyone feels different about this and I really get what you mean. Being around people in a office for example would make feel more alone and really anxious. But maybe thats just me.

[@stephaniebrown9687]

I agree with this. I work a 9-5 for the government doing strategic planning and as sad as it seems to some, it’s the highlight of my life. I have clinical depression but there’s just something about work that allows me to escape it and connect with people and to be creative. Work can give a huge sense of fulfilment/satisfaction.

[@liessiey2904]

@@stephaniebrown9687 I'm happy for you that it is this way.. I mean it's not perfect but there is something you can hold onto:) It's just for me that I'm really anxious and don't have the energy to do this.. even though I wish I could, maybe soon. Just wanted to point out that this is not the answer to everyone, but some! I wish you the best and keep fighting

[@stephaniebrown9687]

@@liessiey2904 It’s certainly not the answer for everyone. Luckily for me, I don’t struggle much with anxiety so I’m sure that would have a huge impact on how you feel in an office space. I hope you find something that works for you🤍 keep in mind I’ve been on antidepressants for years, work is just a positive thing for me but it’s not a cure! Without meds I’d probably be bed ridden

[@mechamonsters7718]

I'm a veteran struggling with major depression and your video was very insightful on what I am going through, in which I didn't know how to describe it. Thank you so much and you made me feel less alone.

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helpss someone as it helps me.

[@shimmer410-o2i]

Thank you for serving even if that meant making sacrifices.

[@Maria-qo8mx]

I’ve never felt so understood by a video. I know the emptiness and depression will never go away because it’s a part of me but I hope one day I can feel content.

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Jesus loves you more than anything and He said in His Word, the Bible, that He has a peace to give that the world cannot offer. I would love to share my best friend's story with you and pray that you will find true hope and comfort that only God can give. Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ********************************************************* If you need more help or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to: facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/ If you don't have a church to attend, we would love for you to join us in person @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. Or you can join our livestream family at: libertyfaith.net Facebook: Reg Kelly-Table In The Wilderness Sermon audio: Liberty Faith Church Pastor Reg Kelly KZbin: Liberty Faith Church Reg Kelly sermons (not livestream, but recorded)

[@rahdhgvdehr7376]

@@kelleymcfadden9675 ممكن اتواصل معك

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it.

[@pieter9058]

Why wouldn't it go away?

[@ambientsoundbox]

Yes, because you are listening to a video of someone who thinks she is distressed. It's all for views. Please go see someone for help.Don't trust these influencer / social media people.. They live in the a dream world worse than what you are going through... Be strong, for yourself, not these weak minded people making money off views.... "My job is to make content" think of those words words... Don't get stuck in this... You're making your problems worse...

[@Ashley-nr9od]

This hits do close to home for me I have anxiety depression and thyroid issues that affect me everyday Edit: you guys are not alone if you read these reply comments you will see that ❤️

[@LisbethIsabella]

How does thyroid affect you ? I have hypo

[@shibsankarchatterjee8137]

I feel for you I have PCOS and anxiety depression and that affect me physically and mentally in daily

[@rynndiane6488]

I gots the hashimotos so feel

[@katiie7]

Yaaas hypothyroid literally lowers the energy to your brain. It was huge for me. T3 only can be a lifesaver literally. Many doctors speak the enormity the impact on mood/suicidal thoughts etc

[@jennifermauricio2300]

@@rynndiane6488 same, I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 42. I’d been suffering for years. I’m still struggling. Do you know of any good online support groups?

[@sneezedoc1]

I struggled with major depression since a teen ager. I was a pediatrician but had to retire at 50 and nobody calls to see if I'm ok, I've been shunned by my family and friends. So, I feel what you're feeling and I would say keep on sharing, you're doing a great work.

[@ZeNaTy-hg4zd]

​@OliviaFrendoreally? Is he on instagram?

[@Traveldworld2024]

How do u cope with Guilty feeling. Sailing in d same boat. I have stopped working, I was a doctor or should i say i m. Its hard to sit at home but hard to go to work also. Rite now just existing

[@Liz-uj2ot]

@@Traveldworld2024 your a doctor and spell the word "rite" wrong,

[@minimal3734]

​@@Liz-uj2ot What an extraordinarily stupid remark. It never occurred to you that this might not be people's mother tongue. Incidentally, I spot two errors in your comment.

[@stevefrench5812]

Social media has absolutely manipulated, if not destroyed, our sense of self-worth. I hope you, and everyone out there who might be reading this understands that you ARE enough and that you ARE going to be okay. Our world is lacking love and transparency, so thank you for taking the time to open up to your audience. Just remember, the sun is behind *every* cloud. Things do get better ❤️

[@laxgirl7728]

I've had Depression for over 11 years... I am only 21 years old. It's refreshing and comforting to hear about someone so close in my age and having it for such a big portion of their life as well.. people around me seem to think Depression is an option, or isn't real. And while I know that's not true it makes me feel invalidated and I never speak about it. Thank you for posting this and I hope therapy helps you!

[@mmmggg111]

Depression is not an option to choose if it were that easy I would of not picked depression and anxiety to have in my life

[@trips347]

A good fuck session will get you out of depression

[@laxgirl7728]

@@mmmggg111 exactly

[@aleya8483]

@@trips347 will a good fuck session cure your broken arm??? No right? Well with mental health it's the same

[@tejaschauhan2456]

It's so hard to live with it for over 11 years,So please can you tell me that are you happy and satisfied with your life ?and is this depression shit permanent for everyone?

[@BabyChristianBibleStudy]

My nursing instructor is having us watch your video in our mental health class. thankyou so much for sharing and teaching us about your major depressive disorder. You're helping people learn about this mental health disorder and teaching us how to help.

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helps someone as it helps me.

[@Mojooobrooke]

I’ve been struggling really bad lately and needed this. we hear you, we are here for you sweetie. Praying for you 🤍

[@bri6880]

Keep ya head up girl♡

[@mmmggg111]

Praying for you Alana

[@Mojooobrooke]

@@bri6880 thank you lovey💕

[@Mojooobrooke]

@@claudiaespinosanchez2321 it’s amazing how everyone is being so supportive of each other it makes my heart melt! Thank you Claudia so much 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[@jamimarie6117]

Girl me too 😢😢😢 it's been so rough!

[@luciamajerova2511]

In this moment, I don't feel alone, thank you so much

[@bri6880]

You are not alone 💕

[@rohanisakoon6949]

U also depression?

[@protonman6152]

Serving others is one of the few things that actually brings about happiness.

[@clareking4434]

I’m 47, 30 years into the struggle I will tell you that those of us that live with the lows also feel the greatest joys. There is nothing wrong with “you” you are a great person. You are a fabulous strong person for pushing past the struggles that you are fighting everyday. Others have no idea what it’s like to live in your mind, a mind that’s attacking you and you’re constantly fighting back. Believe me when I say, this fight is always worth it. Virtual hugs 💛

[@psily007]

Wow beautiful statement

[@Ashley-nr9od]

You need some better friends in your life that actually care and that's what we are all here to be for you

[@kah210]

Not their fault. It doesn’t work that way.

[@mmmggg111]

She doesn’t need better friends she just needs them to understand what mental illness is and just be there for her . I personally think that people you know that have never experienced mental illness to google it read about it to have a better understanding of what it is and how it effects people

[@mmmggg111]

@@Hayleylou17 Haley I think if they actually would take the time to research depression and anxiety they would understand it better but a true friend would stay with you thru the good and the bad not judging just my thoughts on it

[@Hayleylou17]

@@mmmggg111 I totally agree. There’s just not a lot of people out there like that anymore though 😔

[@wisdomforhealthhappinessandsaf]

Wonderful comment Ashley!

[@Shej65]

I love how transparent you are about it. It’s like you just described me & it’s hard for me to even explain myself and how I feel to anyone. I’ve dealt with suffering in silence for 20 years. You give me hope. Thank you for this ❤️

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Jesus loves you more than anything and He said in His Word, the Bible, that He has a peace to give that the world cannot offer. I would love to share my best friend's story with you and pray that you will find true hope and comfort that only God can give. Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ********************************************************* If you need more help or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to: facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/ If you don't have a church to attend, we would love for you to join us in person @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. Or you can join our livestream family at: libertyfaith.net Facebook: Reg Kelly-Table In The Wilderness Sermon audio: Liberty Faith Church Pastor Reg Kelly KZbin: Liberty Faith Church Reg Kelly sermons (not livestream, but recorded)

[@Iliaprod]

A cure is the Holy Quran

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helps someone as it helps me.

[@MichelleXOZ]

“I don’t know what I want in life” I’ve been asking myself that question what seems like my entire life. WHAT is going to make me feel fulfilled? 💔 thank you for this video!

[@indeedConfirmed]

Indeed..

[@ionne9177]

i literally found myself finishing the sentences you were saying. That’s how much I could relate. Thank you for this, thank you for being you.

[@888alp]

the best physchologist would be someone. like you because you have lived it.. it’s not all in notes. so proud of you Alana ♥️😇

[@Erdf3542]

I didn’t expect to be able to relate to this so much! I will be rewatching this video just because you have put how I feel into very coherent words. Thank you

[@mmmggg111]

I have to watch this again too so informative and uplifting Alana has a gift

[@LadyKfornow_]

I've been struggling with hopelessness since I was 5 years old. I'm now 23. Thank you for sharing this with us. We love you ❤

[@LadyKfornow_]

@@claudiaespinosanchez2321 Thank you ❤

[@zetristan4525]

What in life does give you joy? 🌱

[@LadyKfornow_]

@@zetristan4525 Woah, that's crazy. I commented this years ago. I'm now 26, and I'm happy. No longer depressed, Jesus saved me!

[@HeidiAmericanPatriot]

As someone with generalized anxiety disorder, dysthymia (ongoing depression), and social anxiety disorder. I get you and everything you are saying! I've become so use to faking being happy that I "automatically" faked it when I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He said, "you don't seem depressed" , that's when I realized I walked in with a big smile to greet him. I said, "oh, that's right, I don't have to pretend in here". I hadn't even realized I had smiled and came in the room "acting cheerful". I can tell you that I've been on Lexapro for years and without it there is no way I could cope with this. The meds eradicated the social anxiety disorder and has helped significantly with depression. It's still a struggle , but more manageable. Thank you for your video! You are not alone, and you don't have to fake it with all of us who are with you.

[@JG-xq3uo]

The most real influencer in the game💖

[@cristagutierrez913]

True

[@NeverShoutNever45454]

I’m so proud of you for getting help and coming forward to talk to your audience about this. I have GAD and MDD too. I feel/felt a lot of what you do and this video hit close to home. I hope the therapy helps you and you feel genuine happiness eventually. Therapy can take years though, it’s a journey not a race. Don’t be afraid of medicine too even if those close to you tell you not to, mental illness is just like a physical illness and you need to take medicine to fix it sometimes. Also the part where you said you thought it was hormonal when you were a teen was so relatable. My mon also has severe depression with psychosis and I didn’t want to be like her so I told myself it’s something I’ll grow out of. It’s ok to show the dark side of things sometimes, it makes influencers more real.

[@brigittesnelson2354]

Wow, no one has ever articulated what I feel and do as well as you just did. I was diagnosed with Dysthymia about a year ago and my parents/friends who I have talked about it have ever really understood it. Only went to get therapy 8 years into my symptoms, I remember being as young as 13 when I first noticed that I was never genuinely happy and always faking it in front of people. No one I know seems to notice that which makes it even worse. These days I try to reach out on online forums with fellow sufferers to find some sort of community that understands. You're the first person on yt who I can finally SEE talking about actually going through a lot of the same experiences and emotions. I'm very sorry that you have to live like this, it is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You're very strong for posting this video, thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. It helps us more than you think

[@luciacaterina4130]

you should pursue in a career that help people: therapist, teacher etc. something that will really show the difference you make because you DO make a difference, it's just so difficult to see because it's all on your phone, disconnected and distant. I think helping people is your calling in life

[@Unisthegreat]

Me too

[@ris2ani]

I believe Alana will find the answers that makes most sense to her... I feel it's all a matter of time, patience, strength and trusting in her inner-truth.

[@gladissanger9639]

I think when we depressed we should try to pay attention to another people.. I meant helping other

[@rachmaninovwasemo2313]

I'm going to be honest with you, it takes time with therapy, it takes being brave and really embracing your feelings and problems and being honest with yourself. I've been in therapy for 8 years and am still not done BUT how much better I feel compared to where I was is other worldly. How I look at it is the purpose is to find something that is fulfilling to you and that might take a while but that's okay. You are worth feeling better. I wish you luck 🖤

[@heath3r652]

This is such a beautiful comment!

[@28gold28]

You describe it so well. Its really refreshing when someone can explain exactly what I feel 95% of the time. The nothingness is horrible.

[@blackcat9513]

Exactly

[@28gold28]

@@blackcat9513 sending good vibes your way...

[@blackcat9513]

@@28gold28 thanks. Take care! 💜💜💜

[@normagonzalez-wilson4606]

The most underrated influencer I have ever seen. You give genuine advice and content that actually helps people and don’t act like life is perfect. You don’t try to be relatable cuz you actually are and I know we all appreciate that so much. Thank you for creating a safe space for everyone that needs it :)

[@shoelaci]

Alana I felt so depressed for so long working jobs that I didn’t feel fulfilled in. And then I started working with children and adolescents in psychiatric care (depressed, anxious, suicidal, homicidal, psychotic kids) and I’ve never felt more fulfilled and happy! I cannot believe that I feel happy, I never thought that I could. It’s hard work and I get spit on and kicked and called every name under the sun but I see kids learn skills to manage their trauma and go from punching me in the face when they’re upset to using deep breathing and staying safe and there’s no better feeling in the world. I can see you find fulfillment in your impact on viewers (as you should) but maybe volunteering or getting a part time job where you’re able to see in person the impact you have on lives could be really uplifting. I hope that you’re able to find peace whatever you choose to do. Just know that I’ve been in the hole and never thought that I would come out. If I could do it then you are more than capable.

[@BM-ht9xk]

yup using lungs is key to fully live in control. Wish they enforce that from the getgo!.

[@chiefjake1262]

This is the only video I’ve watched from your channel and I come back to it when I feel hopeless all the time because I feel like I’m not alone when I watch it.

[@lex9006]

Finally someone who really understands I've felt alone for years

[@ethanharrisonn]

It's been 10 years this year since my depression and anxiety began, I'm aching and I feel every word you speak, I'm 23 this October and I'm scared I'll stay this way forever regardless of how hard I've been fighting. I have thousands of notes and video ideas just left under the rug so I'm so proud that you managed to film this, edit and post

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@Ethan Love Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a healthier life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@tejaschauhan2456]

It's so hard to live with it for over 10 years,So please can you tell me that are you happy and satisfied with your life ?and is this depression shit permanent for everyone?

[@ethanharrisonn]

@@tejaschauhan2456 I can't say I'm happy with my life no. However I'm in a much better place mentally than I have been the last 4 years. I almost lost my life to suicide, I lost my house my girlfriend at the time my family is torn but now I'm in a job i love, living on my own and my demons are easier to handle. Don't get me wrong my demons and thoughts can still tear me to the ground and I can't get up but I'm much quicker at bouncing back

[@ethanharrisonn]

@Ethan Love I should keep check of these notifications really! Thanks man, 23 now lol. I'm sorry that you relate. I don't know how you feel about your life, but if I can say anything it'll be that this last year I've really picked myself up and feel happier. Suicide isn't something I think of anymore and my demons are much easier to control. I still struggle to find hope but I've showed myself if I try there's a happy ending

[@tejaschauhan2456]

@@ethanharrisonn Bro I am too much happy to read that you are happier and stable than your past :) .I am 15 and I am struggling from these problems(sucidal thoughts,emptiness) from past 6 months ,I have tried 3 sucide attempts but I failed :-) . The main question which is my mind : is this permanent? and is it possible that one day I will be healed 100 percent ? and I also think that I failed to make friends and memories in my life :-( But when I go to my psychatrist she says that I am not having any kind of depression or mental illness ,it's just high stress hormones in your body -_- . I am so confused what's my problem is it depression or something else . At the end, I thank you for making me happy and I pray that you will be fully happy and satisfied from your life one day 🙂

[@joannenascimento9213]

Thankyou thankyou. Im over 60. In a terrible depressed state since losing my beloved Mom 3 years ago. I relate to you so much. I can look up to you more than anyone on the damn internet to give me the courage to save mtself. Im so sorry you had to experience this so young. All love to you.

[@XXOVXXO__]

I never struggled with Anxiety or depression let alone any mental illness. I didn't have a bad life, I was one of the lucky ones to have a great childhood. I mean there are something's, I question about my childhood, but hey I had a good childhood so I don't want people to think I am taking that for granted. I have had alot dark days lately but life goes on. To anyone who is struggle with mental illness, I am sending my love. I hope you guys can overcome what you are going through, and hope one day you'll find happiness.

[@Luvvserena111]

Wow it’s crazy for me to think of life without mental illness I hope you never have to go thru it

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@Luvvserena111 Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a healthier life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

V_- Are you using some affirmations? Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a healthier life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@itspickles]

i hope and pray you never ever have to go through it, any mental illness. its truly worse than you think. Thank you for the positive comment :)

[@mariamaidana3908]

“I’ve gotten so good at pretending to be happy” Honestly Alana, your videos bring me so much comfort because when you speak, I hear myself.... thank you for making my endless thoughts feel a little less crazy. Stay strong girl ✨

[@userunknowns]

i haven't had myself checked but every word in this video resonates with my experience. so raw and real. although i don't wish for anyone to experience and feel what i feel, it is so comforting to know there's someone out there that finally GETS me. i'm sending my hugs. surround or do things according to your core values and less of the things that make you feel less. i can tell that you thrive when you're able to help, have real connection with people and creating. but i am sure you already know that. good luck

[@nicole9540t]

As someone who suffers from depression as well, thank you. It feels good knowing you're not the only one struggling

[@Meenakshi-tc5gs]

Hy

[@Lmkw95]

I’ve never heard someone explain MDD so well.

[@baneneflambee]

I agree. Have you read the book ‘Lost connections’? It really helped me with what I needed to change in my life, and I’m a lot better now. I think Alana would benefit a lot from reading this book too, as it sounds like helping others and finding true purpose in that is what she needs. It’s not a cure-all but it helps.

[@simplyunknown3549]

Watch Kat Napiorkowska her videos describes MDD in such a good way.

[@Larsen3306]

@@simplyunknown3549 thank You 🙏

[@Potato-mu7nu]

Being depressed is something everyone goes through, its a part of life, but major depressive disorder is something that isn't a choice, its an evil trauma, an unwanted presence that doesn't leave. Ive been struggling with since I was young around 10-12. Some years its worse some better, but its ruined a lot of vacations and family outings for me. I agree though no matter how bad it is steps must made such as, talk therapy, ssris, getting 8 hours of sleep every night, reading scripture. I will my relationship with God has been rocky due to my default to a depressive state, I get really angry at a God that says He is all powerful and my brain is still suffering even after all the prayer and crying. Thank you for posting this, its that ray of sunshine shooting out from behind the clouds, a promise for some hope. To the people who don't suffer from major depressive disorder it may seem like me and others are just looking for attention, i assure im not. Im an introvert, id love nothing more than to be happy, solitary and content.

[@jaimewise8916]

I see so much of myself in you. I’m 22 years old I have been on an off struggling with anxiety & also major depression since I was 7. I always looked at other people and thought why I don’t I feel happy like them. Thank you for this. I have felt so alone the past 8 months, lost, living a different life. This helped a lot

[@Meenakshi-tc5gs]

Hlo jaime

[@christiedee8807]

When I'm feeling upset I turn to God. I pray, I go to church, and that has made a huge difference in my life.

[@MindfulKimberly]

Amen. Reading these comments, It's hard because I know the ONLY remedy. But most people won’t listen :( or think I’m Just a nutty religious person, but that’s so not true. I tried everything and have met others who also tried everything, and the only thing that truly fills the void (as crazy as it sounds)…is biblical truth that Jesus came and suffered like us, died for us (it was all planned), and ultimately gives us freedom through our faith that the creator of the universe loves and pursues us enough to do something like that. I just wanted the truth. I didn’t care what it looked like. I didn’t expect it to be Jesus, and the biblical storyline. Far. Out.

[@kristinesanta6971]

Yes! Jesus is THE answer! I would have NEVER made it through my mental breakdown in '93 without God! He is THE truth and the life!! 🙏❤

[@TaraAkinsCLT]

Thank you for being brave enough to be this vulnerable and put words to so many things I've felt for decades. People have no idea how truly debilitating this is but knowing I'm not alone helps me continue the fight to find peace and happiness. Thank you. ❤

[@TheDinaExperience]

I’m going to be very vulnerable and tell you I have Major Depressive Disorder too. I got it from a bad breakup in college and overdosing on Aderall. The depression is permanent and I live with it everyday. But I’ve been on medication (Lexapro works great for anxiety and depression) and it really helps. I’ve learned that I love to travel. I lived in miami for a few years. I graduated college and now I’m in graduate school. There is hope for us and I know you can find the light at the end of the tunnel for yourself. You are bubbly, beautiful and so honest. I know you can get through this. Sending love💜💜💜

[@mmmggg111]

Wow I read this and it made me tear up

[@sofiadinis8831]

Coming from an honest perspective...i dont understand that much about depression i see...cos i didnt know u could have depression permanently triggered by sth...i really d8dnt. I thought depressions could be worked on and ppl would be okay eventually

[@maribelvazquez9097]

Wow 🙏Thank God you were able to surpass this horrible situation 💕I admire you 🙌

[@humankaleidoscope4989]

This just goes to show how different people's experiences are. I've been on Lexapro for 5 years (I was prescribed it in first year of uni) and it was one of the worst things that's happened to me. It didn't do anything for me in terms of my anxiety or depression, but it has sexual side effects, made me feel numb, and going off of it is often A NIGHTMARE even when you do it properly. The only thing it helped me with was a symptom colloquially called "brain zaps", which is the reason I was on it for so long (try being in uni while getting shocks to your brain every time you move, and often randomly). The brain is so complicated. I'm really glad to hear that it worked for you, though, and in a way it makes me feel better because I'm like "okay, good, so my doctors weren't totally off-base in prescribing it." I'm almost done going off of it now so we'll see how that goes! Btw I strongly recommend "Feeling Good", a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy workbook, to anyone with depression, anxiety, and even other mental health issues! :) It has scientific research backing up the fact that it works, essentially by training your brain out of negative thought patterns and helps you bring logic to irrational thoughts that are common when one is anxious or depressed, and even otherwise.

[@Kriscarroll19]

HumanKaleidoscope I was on lexapro too, except it caused brain zaps, along with all the other symptoms you mentioned. I stopped taking it and now I take Wellbutrin. It’s so much better for me. I’m gonna check that book out tho, so thank you for recommending!!

[@spencerferguson8688]

i was rapped and thats when my anxiety and depressive disorders started. i was 8 and then it happened again at 10 and again a few months ago. but throughout all the years I've been dealing with the same thing you are talking about so it helps to watch you and see the comments and see all the people that are dealing with different things too and this video, you opening up and feeling comfortable to talk about this helps in ways you will never know. thank you Alana for being a contributor in my happy.

[@indeedConfirmed]

Hope u okay

[@Andyyoureastar]

That’s awful, you are such an incredibly strong person and I’m happy you are here💗💗

[@michaelaelizabeth5569]

Godbless you 🙏🏼

[@salkeri]

im so sorry and you're so strong

[@nomasmedia2053]

The people who did that to you should be arrested. I hope you find peace

[@kiahbowring9462]

Everything you said is EXACTLY how I’ve felt for the last 10 years.

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Jesus loves you more than anything and He said in His Word, the Bible, that He has a peace to give that the world cannot offer. I would love to share my best friend's story with you and pray that you will find true hope and comfort that only God can give. Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ********************************************************* If you need more help or if you would like to send a word of encouragement to the family, please go to: facebook.com/GITM-Foundation-113997824650357/ If you don't have a church to attend, we would love for you to join us in person @ Liberty Faith Bible Church in Norwood, Mo. every Sunday morning central time 11:00 A.M., Sunday evening 7:00 P.M., and Wednesday evening 7:00. P.M. where you will hear sound, biblical preaching from God's Word as well as uplifting, godly music. Or you can join our livestream family at: libertyfaith.net Facebook: Reg Kelly-Table In The Wilderness Sermon audio: Liberty Faith Church Pastor Reg Kelly KZbin: Liberty Faith Church Reg Kelly sermons (not livestream, but recorded)

[@marianatezoquipa2432]

This video honestly made me cry. I related so much with you.

[@unodoz8481]

Dear Alana, i just want you to know that im sitting crying my eyes out because i Can relate so deeply to everything youre saying n youre not alone i love you. Thanks for sharing and making me feel something

[@O01170]

I clicked on this video just when i was feeling the worst and crying .... it definitely made me feel less alone, thank you so much for your words. You're a beautiful person inside and out and I hope us and everyone who's getting through this and find true peace and happiness within themselves. 💗

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

I pray this story helps you find true peace and comfort in your life. God knows what you are going through and if you turn to Him, He will give you a peace and comfort like nothing in this world. Tribute to Ethan by Brett Glidden: It’s been one year, though it seems just like yesterday. I’ll never forget what happened. Ethan, Tobias, and I were sitting on the side of a bluff by the trail, waiting for the others to get back out of the cave. I suggested we climb up to the top. The three of us began to climb, and Ethan said, “First one to the top wins.” I had no idea those would be the last words I’d ever hear him say. Tobias and Ethan quickly reached the top. I’m not much of a climber, and with slippery leaves covering the slope, I took my time as I slowly ascended. I was about two-thirds of the way up when I heard Tobias exclaim about lots of poison ivy. Not wanting to get into that, I decided I had climbed high enough and began to carefully make my way down. It was then that I heard it: the sound of something sliding down the leaves at great speed. I froze when I looked up and saw Ethan slipping down the slope in a sitting position. I had no idea how it happened; all I knew was that he was going to pass by within just a few feet of me. Immediately, I knew what Ethan was heading towards. There was a steep drop to the path, then another bluff below it. During those few seconds, millions of thoughts flew through my mind, but every one of them ended in disaster. I was in a precarious position myself, with nothing around to grab ahold of. Ethan was as large as I was, and at the speed he was sliding, I didn’t see how I could grab him while keeping my balance and not being pulled down myself. Yet, I couldn’t just do nothing. I had no idea what to do. As he slid past me, I simply reached out, not knowing what else to do. I couldn’t quite get ahold of his jacket. I expected him to try to grip my arms, but instead he simply pushed by. At that point, all I could do was watch as he fell. I don’t even remember how I got back down to the path, but somehow I did. As I saw others going to help him, I decided it would be best for me to simply head back to the entrance of the hike and see if I could get more help. I was in deep shock and knew if I tried to climb down to help, I would simply be a hindrance. Medics were called and arrived on the scene. Many of Ethan’s friends had gone to help, but I stayed at the picnic tables, not wanting to even think about what happened. I simply prayed with tears in my eyes. An hour went by, then another. Finally, we heard that they had Ethan on a stretcher and were trying to get him up the bluff. One of the ladies suggested that each of us guys pray. I remember telling God that He knew where every single one of Ethan’s wounds were, and asking that He’d heal them all. It was around that time that Ethan passed away. God answered my prayer; not in the way that I wanted or expected, but in the way that was in His will. What I experienced and went through next mentally and spiritually, I have described in my writing, “Will Your Faith Stand.” It has been a difficult journey since then, but one that God has used to grow me stronger in Him. Not only did I lose my friend, but I was there and saw it happen. There are times in which I start feeling partly responsible. What if I hadn’t suggested we climb the bluff? What if I tried harder to grab him as he slid past me? What if? What if? But as I think about that day, I think about all the events leading up to that moment. There were countless times where if something had happened slightly differently, we most likely wouldn’t have climbed that bluff. But the fact is that it did happen that way, and we did climb, and he did fall. God has given me peace that whatever might have happened differently, the end result would’ve been the same. It was God’s time for Ethan to go to heaven, though we may not understand it. Nothing could change that. Ethan was the closest friend on this earth I ever had, even though he was several years younger than I. When my family moved to Missouri back in 2017, I was a shy and partly reclusive teenager who hid himself in a box of fear. I didn’t like that box at all; I wanted to be friendly and have friends, though I didn’t know how to get out. But a couple weeks after we started attending Liberty Faith Church, Ethan introduced himself and we soon became great friends. Without his help, I think I’d still be in that box to this day. I can remember a few occasions where he practically forced me to get involved with the other teens at the church. Our friendship grew, and we became big parts of each others’ lives. We were both in the choir. I began running the sound booth at church, and a couple of years later, he started as well. My dad hired him on as a worker for our family business. There was even a film project that we were both a part of. God intertwined our lives together, and I’m very thankful for it. I have great memories of joking around, competing with Rubik’s cubes (I still can’t beat his record), taking hikes, playing volleyball, singing, and more. We had many good times together, and I hope I never forget them. Ethan was a wonderful young man who loved the Lord. He was always involved in the church. He would upload the sermons and choir specials to youtube to help spread the truth. I’m thankful God gave me such a good friend. Why did I write all of this? I felt it was time to share my experience that day. Perhaps it will help someone in some way. Through it all, God used it to strengthen and purify my faith. I am very thankful for the few years God gave me with Ethan, but our friendship isn’t over. What do I mean? Well, I know Ethan is in heaven, and someday I’ll join him there. How do I know he’s in heaven? Well, it’s not because of how good he was. The Bible states that all our righteousness is as filthy rags. Ethan was a great young man, but even he had faults and sin, just like the rest of us. God is a loving God, but also holy and just. He cannot allow sin into heaven, and because of that, each and every one of us are doomed to hell. But then how is Ethan in heaven? As I said, God is a loving God, and loves us more than we can comprehend. He cannot allow our sin into heaven, yet He has no joy in the death of the wicked. The Bible teaches that sin requires an innocent sacrifice to pay for it. No amount of our good deeds can pay for even one sin. So, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth in the form of man. He lived a sinless life, the only life worthy of heaven. Yet the world despised Him, and crucified Him on the cross. When that happened, He took all the sins of the world and sacrificed Himself for us, dying on that cross. But on the third day, He conquered even death, rising from the grave so that all may have eternal life! So why is Ethan in heaven? Because before he died, he accepted Christ as his Savior. By doing so, Christ’s innocent blood was imputed to Ethan, paying for all his sins. When he died, God did not see Ethan’s sins, but rather His beloved Son’s payment. Because of that, Ethan is now spending eternity in the presence of God. What about you? Think about it. God has a love so strong for us, that He sent His only Son to die. Would you send your child to die for someone else? Yet, God did so that we all may have a chance at eternal life. If you think your own works will save you, you are spitting at the sacrifice of Jesus. God will not tolerate that. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9: "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast." Repent, admit that you’re a sinner , accept Christ as your Savior, and He will save you. Don’t put it off. You have no idea how long you have on this earth. Ethan only had 16 years. What if he decided to wait until he was older, thinking he had plenty of time? For those who are younger, what if you only have 16 years, or maybe less? For those who are older, God has already blessed you with a longer life than He gave Ethan. You have no idea how short the remainder of your life is. When I left for that hike with my friends, I had no idea we’d be returning without one of them. When we sang “Amazing Grace” in the cave, I had no idea that that would be the last time I’d ever sing with Ethan again. I had no idea that at the time we were planning to have lunch, we would instead be crying and praying. Life is short, and death is sudden. Ethan was ready to go, and so am I. Are you? It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing; God is willing to accept you into His family. Call to Him now, confess your sin to Him, and accept Christ into your heart as your Savior before it’s eternally too late. ©2020 by Simple Tales. Created with Wix.com _______________________________________ A foundation has been set up in memory of Ethan on Facebook If you need further help or would like to send a word of encouragement to the family at: GIT'M Foundation If you need a church, we have live streaming services every Sunday and Wednesday. We would love for you to join our online family or in person. You can find us on the web at: libertyfaith net Or on Facebook at: Reg Kelly-Table In The Wilderness If you would like to read more encouraging stories by Brett Glidden, you can find his site on Facebook at: Simple Tales

[@lilymena8034]

I feel like you’re the only person who understands my PTSD,& anxiety, and being bi Polar. It’s one event that changes everything & when it CONTINUES to happen, it brings these imbalances. I really appreciate this video.

[@emily812]

Being ignored by those people you told is actually so serious! It's messing with ones reality. I mean, if I just told a person I have serious depression issues and their reaction is zero, what they basically are telling you is your feelings doesn't matter, you don't matter. A famous child therapist once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s disinterest. And it seems like these people around you are not showing any interest, therefore not loving you. It's the simple everyday things that makes us feel loved, like asking if someone is okey whenever they've hit their head or if they look sad. Many people in the comment section suggest a job change, but I just don't think that's the issue here. I think it's years of neglect and disinterest and it has caused this numbness and depression. I really hope that you one day will realise how precious and loveable you are, Alana. The people around you might not see it. But if I can see it, then you can too.

[@Lilly-ev7ll]

This is spot on 💯

[@emily812]

@@Lilly-ev7ll 💜

[@friedose4099]

underrated comment

[@emily812]

@@friedose4099 thank you! 💖

[@jofrosti]

I discovered you yesterday and just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I’ve suffered from chronic depression since I was young as well and you described quite well much of what I’ve experienced and felt. Everything feels like a chore and it becomes exhausting having to put in a show just to get through life.

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helpss someone as it helps me.

[@DXxSaBRiNaxXD]

"Grief is the suitcase thats sits at the bottom of your bed, and no matter what, without failure, you have to pick it up everyday, take it with you. Some days it will be filled with rocks, and you don't think you can carry it, and then other days, light as a feather." This also applies to depression. I'm so sorry you've been going through this and feeling like you're alone. You are not alone, there are other women out there that are going through exactly what you are. Thank you for using your platform and sharing. It definitely made me cry knowing someone as beautiful and kind as you had to go through something awful as well. We are here for you girl, you may not feel it but you are a light, keep shining. We are here for the good & the bad 💗

[@courtneyrichards6743]

My parents passed away when I was 2 years old. I was raised by an elderly woman who lost both of her daughters and son in laws on the same day. She was depressed. I didn't know that. I absorbed all of that as a child and I didn't understand. I grew up to be a rebellious teenagers and young adult, however I am going to graduate with my degree next month. It took dropping out for three semester, therapy, and two major life events that triggered (MY DEPRESSION). I'm currently grieving my grandmother's ability to be my parent (she has dementia) and she needs me now. Being strong IS possible, and you're going to kill it. We were all meant to deliver this message to others. Your purpose is very clear. Maybe not to you. But to others. I started pulling my hair and crying after my first time watching this video. I have felt EXACTLY the same way. I am going to start a channel soon, you are my inspiration for talking about this major vulnerability.

[@daniellai.9904]

You’re so strong. I hope you’re doing great!!! This gave me hope. 🤍

[@daniellai.9904]

Also I checked out your channel and saw you haven’t made that video yet! No pressure but I hope you do because i would love to hear your story

Thank you so much Alana, I can relate 100% I also have MDD and anxiety disorder. 70% of my life feels like hell. The other 30% is being kind of ok. I asked for help from a psychiatrist and he prescribed me antidepressant for 5 years and Xanax when needed. I tried to stop them and now that I am rock bottom again.. I have to take them back, but they don’t seem to work anymore. It feels good to see your video because I feel less alone. But I avoid my friends and family because I became an energy vampire and they slowly started to back away. Thank you

[@hid4768]

Hi ,I wish you are fine now ,I want Just telling you my experience , and Believe me that only cure for anxiety and depression is to get closer to God and talk to Him about your problems and all your concerns ,He is close to you and Hear ,I do not know if you believe in Him, but if you do not , just ask God to guide you to Him . good luck

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helpss someone as it helps me.

[@crimeline9341]

does anyone else like have a good two weeks and like I you feel good but then for like another month or so you feel horrible?

[@Alana.Arbucci]

Yes

[@LilRedHeidiHood]

I relate to this so much. Hope you’ve found some healing since this video. 💙

[@6Luani8]

People who feel like this need Jesus in thier life!He gives you meaning and a porpouse!For Him i still continue on!🖤🥀

[@anita-ew4it]

@@6Luani8 No, people need a purpose, for you it might be Jesus, but for someone else it might be other things

[@Iliaprod]

A cure is the Holy Quran

[@Iliaprod]

@ristonalaimo5048 Jesus, peace be upon him, is not God, he is a prophet from God

[@Iliaprod]

@ristonalaimo5048 You are wrong. The Holy Qur’an contains scientific miracles in everything about the creation of the heavens and the earth, and at death, and the exit of a soul at death, and Paradise, and Hell, and angels and demons. All in the Holy Qur’an is the religion of God.

[@jsinister_vq8303]

Young lady thank you so much for sharing this. My 14 year old daughter is dealing with this, and it gives me a better understanding on how she feels. I hope and pray that you’ve found some resolution to your situation. 🙏🏽

[@anacantarella1859]

I just turned 18 this year I've been struggling with anxiety since I was 8 or 9 brought on by having an illness that I let have a lot of control over me. I am at high risk for covid and being isolated I've become depressed and have no motivation to do simple things. I have been trying hard to pull myself out of it but I know I need time. Thank you for sharing, it makes things easier knowing that someone understands. you are strong and are really helping so many young girls. Love your message and your honesty!

[@teknosbeka]

I am so sorry for what's happening to you 😔 I wish you the best and I'll be praying for you ❤ I don't even know how you feel about this, but I just really don't know how else could I help 😔

[@n.josifoska7630]

Sending you love and positive energy. Stay strong, you will get through this.

[@anacantarella1859]

@@teknosbeka Thank you so much for your kindness and compassion, I appreciate the prayers

[@anacantarella1859]

@@n.josifoska7630 Thank you for the good vibes and thank you for your words of encouragement!

[@wendyakins4227]

this describes my life rn to a T I just turned 18 to and I moved to another country for college and I've been struggling with my mental health sm

[@sarahbelllxo]

I respect you and this video so much. It took me until 27 to finally get help with my anxiety and depression and try to cure the little girl inside of me that was so damaged and needs help getting brought back up. Keep your head up. And remember just like you’re telling us... YOU are not alone either ❤️

[@LtZorg85]

You know, I know this video is 2 years old but I have some observations. I love looking into your eyes because I see so many deep feelings and a strong personality behind that look. I barely watch any videos like this.. but you kept me here. I asked myself why... and I realized it's because I was here too about 2-3 years ago. Now I follow a nicer and a better path... and I try to live my present and after that my future. Most people make a mistake when they let their brain overcomplicate things... typical doorstep most of the depression... Anyway, You look and sound an amazing person, I really do love your visage... I wish the best for you. Sadly the our technical advancement is not there yet but I would be so happy If I could hug you after this video. You'd deserve every moment of it. Thank you!

[@jennie_gossi04]

You’re not alone Alana♥️ it can be very overwhelming to just even try to explain how you feel, you’re so courageous to open up and share how you’re feeling, it’s not something everybody does. I really appreciate it❤️

[@austinpardue4089]

This .is. Me. This is literally like me talking to myself while I'm listening to this video. Its so strange to me because I'm always aware that other people have depression and anxiety, but no one has ever explained it and it been so ...idk like similar to my experience I guess. The part where you were talking about having your feet in the mud and being like why do we do anything, why are we even here like nothing really matters..I remember having those exact thoughts multiple times when I was young like that. Almost like I was in this dog or something and I couldn't pull myself out of it . I am so glad you posted this, it was brave and it was vulnerable but it was so needed . I needed this . so thank you ❤🙏🏼

[@xEternalSlumberx]

You described how I've felt a majority of my life. My anxiety and depression started when i was just 7 years old. I'm now going on 29 years old.. that's a hell of a long time to not be okay. I've self harmed, I've made attempts to unalive, I've had an eating disorder so I could control just one thing in my life, I've numbed myself with alcohol. I've tried to find hobbies. I walk everywhere all the time. I've tried being in relationships, but only acquired more trauma. I've tried changing who I allow in my life. Nothing... absolutely nothing has helped me in the slightest. So the mask stays on because nobody wants to hear that you're not okay. I suffer in silence until I'm alone. Then I break. I feel like I'm simply not built for this life. The only thing keeping me here is my mom. Without her.. I have nothing. Thank you for putting it into words though.. because it feels very much like nobody understands.

[@CristalA392]

This hit extremely close to home. Almost as if we are the same person explaining how we feel. You’re so brave for sharing this because some of us are not strong enough to do that!

[@niapia3408]

Alana is an empath , I can tell and feel it. She feels with all her heart and I absolutely adore her for speaking about this topic. 🙏🏼❤️❤️ not everyone is going to understand and thats ok , find / explore YOUR purpose and dont stop ❤️

[@olvi6809]

Exactly! I absolutely agree with you. She's a huge empath. ❤️

[@rebekaannaszabo8845]

Thank you for sharing it Alana ❤️ I’ve never been really able to face my disorder and accept my mental state. I grew to learn how to care less about others opinions and thoughts, and use this “disability” as a privilege, a force to deeper empathy, to provoke or to help heal when its necessary. Not once tried to talk about my daily struggles to my family, my relatives, which they neither understood, nor could support me. It’s not something that easy to understand. I am going to try it explain it again and again if they really want to understand, I am going to tell it without any shame or fear, by heart, assertively, confindently and on purpose. Your words can help me explain my issues when I am struggling to find my words. You are one of the strongest girl I ever met, I know how hard it might have been to share this video, so honoured for doing it. You made an impact, a good one. ❤️

[@Meenakshi-tc5gs]

Hlo

[@smellycat7803]

It seems like your “purpose” is making people happy and those are the moments that also make you happy. Keep doing that and keep trying new things along the way. Find the little things that bring you joy like playing with Lady, burning candles, cooking. Those things can add up and help w overall mood. I related to almost everything you talked to in this video and was recently diagnosed w anxiety and depression so I am along w you on this journey.

[@93anagirl]

Never commented on one of your videos before.. just want to say that this makes you so much more relatable now. Thanks for sharing. Opening up about this can help many of your subscribers. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time now and am able to cope with it but I wish I had someone like you to look up to back when I was in middle school/HS and going through depression for the first time. Now at least more people are talking about mental illness. Back then it was so much worse and more of a taboo. We need people like you to help end the stigma 👍🏼 And help others, especially younger people, know that they are NOT alone. Maybe that’s part of your purpose.

[@georgebush9657]

This is so spot on, and it’s a terrible, hard thing to deal with because it’s not just a regular sadness to deal with it. It doesn’t just go away or can just get over it so easily. It sucks and so mentally draining and it’s awful. Thanks for sharing and hope things get better for you. And usually nobody really cares or cares to understand what you’ll go through and usually never will unless it’s too late.

[@heiselvirula6398]

Such A strong women here Sending hugs to you princess!💖

[@BullockVivi]

As a person who has major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder I agree, understand , and relate to how you feel 100%. I feel less alone now, thank you🌼

[@martina-dd6vb]

I know how you feel 😞

[@Ryu-v8r]

Going Through It The strongest souls fight the most difficult battles. Depression is like an angry dragon that fights us. To master depression, you have to go through it. One does not defeat the angry dragon. Because you are the dragon and the depression. You slowly become one with the dragon and the depression and gain strength in going through it. I hope this might helps someone as it helps me.

[@valeriecantu8405]

Mental heal is something I have been struggling with since the pandemic began.I am so thankful that I’m not the only one who feels not okay. I relate to everything you mentioned in this video you are a strong women for dealing with the feeling of unhappiness and unfulfilled for a decade and I’m happy you are getting the help you need and deserve.

[@horationelson8173]

As a man who used to struggle with depression these are the most helpful things I can think of: -Take Risks, don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying something new or something great -Do things that genuinely scare you or that you're afraid of (Even little things like climbing onto a roof and helping to put up Christmas lights if you're afraid of heights or saying something to the cute cashier girl other than "hi" and "thanks") -Pursue an ambitious goal, one that a lot of people don't believe you can achieve (It doesn't even matter if you fail this because no matter what the pursuit of an ambitious goal will make you a better person and give you fulfillment) With that being said, do your best to succeed -Have a passion, basically this means to find a hobby that you enjoy so much that you will spend hours and hours getting better at it -Study history, pick a role model, and then analyze the traits of your role model and list the reasons why you admire them. Then start to emulate these traits in your everyday life and eventually you will become your own role model. -Don't ever quit something just because it's hard (You can quit a crappy job if it's not the right fit for you, but never quit solely based on the fact that something is difficult). Embrace challenges and look for opportunities to improve yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. -Never put yourself down. Try not to think negative things about yourself and especially never say them out loud. You will think more highly of yourself when you say positive things about yourself, at the very least avoid putting yourself down on purpose. -Live purposefully. Have a direction for your life and if you don't already have one, make one. Decide what's most important to you and live accordingly. If you have a family or even a single loved one, your first priority (other than serving God if you're religious) should be to provide for them, to protect them, and to help them become the best version of themselves -Develop Integrity. I can't even explain how much this increases your self-repsect. Be honest, be trustworthy, don't cheat (unless you're in a street fight) and live with honor. -Find a hobby that you're really passionate about and strive to become a master at it -Finally, probably the most important thing I can say is to think less about yourself. Think less about yourself but not less of yourself. In other words, think about other people before you think about yourself, especially your family and loved ones. If you're focused on helping them with their problems I can promise you that your problems will become less important and less troublesome. Look for opportunities to help others and make them feel better about themselves. Nothing lifts you out of depression better than helping someone out of theirs. I hope this helps. I realize that some people are genetically predisposed to having a harder time with depression, but I believe that there's nothing you can't overcome with a strong mindset. In addition, I strongly believe that going through depression and having such terrible lows actually gives you the capacity to feel even greater happiness and joy. The reason I say this is because when you feel genuine joy after being depressed for so long you can't help but feel grateful. The beauty of life is that we are meant to experience the full range of human emotions, from happiness to anger to jealousy to despair to joy. We couldn't feel genuine happiness if we never knew what it was like to be sad. If I could talk to whoever is reading this face-to-face, what I would say to you would be simple: don't quit. A quote from Winston Churchill kept me going in times when I thought I had nothing left, he said: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." Everything in life can be and is meant to be an opportunity to make yourself better, and depression is no exception. Keep fighting, all of you are descended from warriors no matter what culture or country you are from. You wouldn't be here today if it weren't for the conquering spirit of your ancestors. Live a life that would make them proud. While most of us will not fight in physical wars, no one is exempt from the battlefield of life. Depression can be a battle every single day, every single second in some cases. Keep fighting, it will only get better. And the more you fight, the more you will gain respect for yourself. I've conquered my depression. Every now and then it will start to try and creep back into my mind but I don't let it. I destroy those feelings with action. I go lift weights, I go running, I listen to metal music, whatever it takes for me to regain my confidence. You can conquer depression, no matter how severe it is. That doesn't mean you'll never have days where you feel down, but it does mean that you'll have the strength to push through and do what you need to do as a man regardless of how you're feeling. Stay strong, stay hard, and fight like dragons 🐉 You're going to be very glad you did.

[@ruth6596]

Thank you

[@haroldcox3103]

You would crack if you understood what the worst degree is like , maybe a day

[@horationelson8173]

@@haroldcox3103 You have absolutely no idea what I've been through

[@WildWestSushi]

this looks like a grind mindset, esp with emulating a role model. but good if it helped you

[@wavxy7454]

@@horationelson8173 ok well when u said depression is basically curable no matter what is where you fucking wrong. There would be zero suicides if that was the case, I fucking hate that people can’t grasp mental disorders like physical ones because everytime somebody brings up depression another person will get an ego trip off of it. It’s all consciousness and you can’t beat it unless we come together and get people medicine to heal their brain

[@donwilkinson6665]

Your transparency and vulnerability , clarity on the topic of Depressions and anxiety is amazing.

[@AB-mu2ch]

I feel better about my situation after watching this and being able to relate. Thank you!

[@Babyy_girl]

🌼How I got out of depression:🌼 - Taking some time off school/work (You can get a certificate from your doctor that allows you to stay home when you need it) - Reflecting what I'm doing to myself by worrying/ questioning everything - Refraining from doing anything that makes me ashamed of myself later ( Being passive agressive towards other people) - Not judging myself and calling myself pathetic, not questioning things I need to do to get better( Staying home from school, seeing a therapist) - Realize that the feeling like you can't go on is actually just you knowing the fact that you can't go on with your current behaviour/ way of thinking. Why? Because you don't really want that and bc you deserve a life that is better than that - Use that knowledge (I don't want to live that way anymore) to focus and motivate yourself for the things that are really important - Find what really is important to you to finally feel something wholesome again - Cut down any addictive stuff/ bad habits like excess phone use, alcohol, eating too much/unhealthy - Replacing it with self cooked/ healthy meals, going outside, getting sunshine, self care - Trying yoga. It makes you feel grounded and helps release anxietly - Meditating - Setting goals (For me it was finishing high school) and planning what I need to do in order to achieve it - Prioritise yourself, Take days off and don't overwork yourself in order to prevent botteling up your feelings again - Talk about it. Write about it - Find ways to trigger emotions and let negative emotion out (movies, music, singing, going outside, sport, yoga, trips with friends) - Work on your humor. Take your situation with humor and learn to take things less seriously - Realize that overthinking, worrying and you feeling bad helps nobody. So eventhough it seems important stop overthinking for your own sake - Find that unconditional love inside of you and make it your biggest motivator♡

[@rayanneflowers]

Thank you❤️

[@Babyy_girl]

@@rayanneflowers oh thank you too❤ It makes me glad knowing that i could help someone with this ^^

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@rayanneflowers Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a healthier life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@Babyy_girl Reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a healthier life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@daniellai.9904]

Thank you so much for this comment. I really needed it 🤍

[@allisonb.4844]

Thank you so much for opening up and posting this video. I know you said you want to lift your viewers up and "who wants to watch someone who's sad" but this is actually what a lot of your followers needed to see. Just know that you have helped a lot of people, including myself, feel not so alone and confused. Seriously, thank you

[@AngelaRose1222]

i totally understand you, i’m sorry you are going through this. I started my depression and anxiety medication at 14 and nothing has ever helped. I feel better when I see others talk about that they have the same issue because you know your not alone, thank you and i hope things get better for you❤️

[@HaimGreen]

"you are matter, I am matter" , thank you so much , I just need the one who call me and say "it will be ok", that's all I need .

[@scastellanos7923]

I am currently trying to support a family member whose been dealing with mental health issues for years. This helps me understand them a little bit more. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

[@RedRose-yf1yy]

You were meant to inspire and to motivate others ! You are so strong. I’ve been struggling silently since I was young as well. I am so happy I choose life everyday.