Courting Guidelines

Today's society has a high divorce rate & immorality everywhere. Do we follow society's plan on dating or God's? For more please visit www.traditional... & remember to say 3 Hail Marys for the priest

[@ArchetypeGotoh]

Listening to this, and scrolling through the comments, I’m amazed that anyone finds any of this objectionable. Until you’re established enough to provide for a family, don’t worry about dating; Practice prudence in your time with the people you’re attracted to; Practice self-denial by being more concerned with their honor than your pleasure; “have a chaperone” means “spend time with their family” and not only “have seen their parents that one time”. All perfectly sound and wholesome advice

[@jessicaperez1370]

Yes, but people today do not want to be accountable for their actions. Look around at the measures our society has in place to avoid those responsibilities. The devil for sure doesn't want us to be held accountable for our actions in this life, it makes his job easier.

[@Juicey7777]

My dad was poor and could barley provide an run down apartment for my mom. The have been married 50+ years. He did t have the money to provide but worked hard. The priest has great advice but priest can only try and comprehend what married life is like. Still God bless theirs priest.

[@Witherhand]

Some people are discouraged by this good advice and therefore suggest that this priest is in error, or that his counsel can be ignored. But I follow his guidlines exactly with the woman I’m courting, and we’re going just fine! Have faith in Mary! She always wants us to be pure. Believe me, this isn’t too strict and it’s not impossible to marry someone following these rules.

[@nicholasmargagliano1833]

God bless these true and honest Catholic priests. I’ve lost all care of how I’m viewed in this sick culture. We live to glorify God and our lives aren’t ours. Have to live like it.

[@dranerane4912]

May God bless you Fr. Obedience is greater than sacrifice. This sounds really hard but as what Fr is saying, you'll get to know the person. Don't worry. Jesus I trust in You, I want to obey.

[@jasonhaiflich8967]

Obedience is sacrifice, it is a sacrifice outside of ourselves since it is not our own sacrifice but rather one that pleases God. Like the story of Cain and Abel, how Abel Gabe God a good and just sacrifice, one God wanted, and Cain gave a sacrifice God did not want.

[@katpellot7646]

Great talk! I wish I had listened to this years ago. Great topic for confirmation classes.

[@jennc7542]

We need to show this to kids in Middle school and high school

[@mikeDeSales943]

Thank God for this truth.

[@blancheb3533]

Everything father said is true. A priest advised me and my ex had to sadly to break up due to financial issues (providership) cannot be met. To the men here saying there's nothing wrong with it, do not put a woman through emotional heartbreak because you enjoy keeping company with her even if you can't practically marry her yet.

[@Juicey7777]

My dad was poor when he married my Mom. They have stayed together 50+ years. So if a man can barely make it by he shouldn’t be married is kinda what I got. But my dad was barley making it when he married my mom. He couldn’t provide a home at the time but only a run down apartment. Should they have gotten married ?

[@user-to6cd9vo5b]

Yes, I understand, what it means to be holy. Thank you father for this important reminder.

[@iammsmorales]

Ugh.i needed this 3 weeks ago

[@DrOman5596]

Good sermon. Any discussion or debate about appropriate conduct for relationships and courtship should begin and end with the fact that over 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. Sooner or later our culture will realize that no man is an island. "Harmless" private decisions inevitably have consequences

[@mariekatherine5238]

Marriage didn't happen for me. I never found a man even remotely suitable, and I'm of the wrong temperament to be a nun. Unlike my siblings and peers, I've remained Catholic. I wouldn't leave Our Lord although I fear I've missed my calling in life. I'm holding out for Purgatory as the alternative isn't good at all. I'm afraid I'll soon be called before Him and have little to show.

[@AmericanBerean]

Have you consulted a spiritual director? KZbin comment-forum isn't the best medium for learning your spiritual direction in life. Perhaps your pastor can point you in the right direction, maybe the diocese can help if your parish cannot. In the mean time, pray pray pray. And rest assured, the fact that you are still practicing the faith is a good sign.

[@jenniferhinnen482]

There'a also the vocation of being a consecrated single, living in the world and evangelizing while remaining single. I agree with AmericanBerean, if you can find a spiritual director. Our number 1 vocation is to be in relationship with the Lord. Vocations are a means to help us achieve that. Anyone can become a Saint regardless of their vocation. Keep praying and continuing to live out your faith, the Lord will guide you! :)

[@airmackeeee6792]

Marie Katherine if you're still looking for a good man to be your husband pray to St Anne.

[@lmlmlmlm7627]

Marie Katherine why would you have little to show? Honestly curious. If you have done everything you could have done to pursue your vocation, and there was no suitable man, Im not sure how God can hold that against you. Marriage is dependent on the cooperation of another human being, and in this regard you have limited control. I have looked in ernest. There has never been mutual connection with me... I’ve met men who have wanted to date me, and I just didn’t feel a connection and vice versa. I met a man who I believe would have been a match, and I think it was mutual.. but he was paralyzed with fear and anxiety, and despite everything in my power (patience, reaching to assure him, reasoning with him, praying, fasting, praying more, fasting more, etc etc), I don’t know what else I could have done, or what else God could have asked of me... If you give your vocation your very best, not sure what else God can ask of you. I am focusing on deepening on my relationship with Our Lord, and attempting to turn every sorrowful moment of a vocation unfulfilled, and every searing pain (felt many, many times a day) as an offering of love to Our Lord.

[@kings-Rex]

What ever your state in life, never hold out for purgatory. God's love is so abundant and His grace on each one of us is sufficient enough to lead us straight to Heaven

[@chateaumojo]

Wow, about time.

[@jacobgagnon6419]

I’ve recently entered into courtship with a great woman and would like some advice on specific boundaries that should be in place, holding hands hugging ect. And when those things become ok

[@mariemunzar6474]

I'm not an expert but I think it depends on the individuals and the relationship. Personally I've been more willing to hug or hold hands around certain men I had a romantic interest in than others, it really depends on the relationship I feel, each one is going to be different. Try and ask her consent before and make sure she's ok with it. And pull away maybe if it starts becoming too physical. I know that can be easier said than done, so probably try and limit your hugging etc. ie don't do it constantly and space it out. The person you're dating should be helping you with boundaries as well, it's not something you're doing on your own, it also depends on the other person. It takes communication and having a private conversation about it with the person.

[@credimus6176]

One question, if i cant have company with a person because i feel attracted to her and its an occasion of sin, how will i be able to know her and develop a relationship so we can marry?

[@jamesmerone]

Don't keep company alone with her. Don't hang out at her place during the night.

[@cayceewhite5536]

Has for grace and work on growing in virtue

[@Xeranx]

I've been thinking along these same lines. However, I have a problem with the prescriptions being solely for men and what they're supposed to do and nothing for women. Times are different now and while I'm not against the idea of forgoing dating (you're only going to end up doing all the married stuff to begin with and have to -slice- spice up the bedroom later) for courting, but what is the woman's contribution towards a man determining that she is a worthy candidate to take as a wife? Women initiate divorce at least 70% of the time and there's the issue of hypergamy that's never addressed where a woman is able to look for a "better deal" in our culture even after she says I do. This means she's not held to the vows she takes, but the man is. So I'm inclined to believe there's an encouraging of impropriety on the part of the woman in the Church. This might explain why I've heard there aren't as many men attending as before. _edited to fix typo left in via strikethrough_

[@mariemunzar6474]

You cannot divorce as a Catholic. If she truly loves God and the Church she will be worth it.

[@RicardoReyes]

What if you're not attracted to each other but enjoy each others company? She calls all the time and invites me to go to do things even though she has no interest in me nor I in her in marriage to one another. I'm guessing it's still a near occasion of sin

[@PUBLICnoose]

Stop seeing her it is improper

[@ServusMariae_]

​@PUBLICnoose how? theyre not attracted to each other? zero attraction sounds like a normal friendship. A friendship is bad? sorry i just dont understand but willing to

[@BugsyB1979]

It would be difficult for another person to develop a possible betrothal if the other person is still lurking in the wings!

[@icyangel13]

Honestly this is a bit too much. No conversations about your intimate thoughts and feelings? How on earth are you supposed to really know if you're compatible with someone if you don't really know who they are? You should be mature enough in your faith that you can have intimate emotional conversations when appropriate as part of courtship without it leading to sin. If you're not mature enough to do that, you really shouldn't be thinking about marriage in the first place as you don't have basic control of your faculties. Ask for God's help frequently and there is no reason why simply talking about your real self should lead to sin, it's just honest talk you need before you consider marrying someone. If it's something you can do with a friend, it's something you can do in courtship, provided you are always well aware of the romantic elements of the bond and how to deal with them.

[@dakotafleming5261]

Yeah, well he said not to engage in that too frequently, not to never engage in it. Obviously, there's no way you can ever get to know a person unless you talk intimately about your inner thoughts and feelings sometimes. However, if you're sneaking out in the middle of the night and meeting your GF/BF in the woods and talking for hours about them, then that and any suchlike occurrence should definitely be avoided. I have this girl that I like, and she likes me back. We're not dating yet, but I'd say that's definitely a near-future probability. We talk about our inner emotions and understandings often enough to be really great friends and to mutually understand that we really do love each other, but never often enough to where things get sexual at all. You just have to judge for yourself with the mind of Christ what's best for you and your relationship with your significant other. Take everything this priest and others say with right discernment (a grain of salt I guess). I personally prefer Fr. Ripperger to this guy, but both are very similar, as the Church and its ministers are usually of one mind. You should maybe give him a try, though, and I'd especially recommend his "4 Stages of Courtship". Also, Fulton Sheen is really good too. Again, be 100% modest, but it's impossible to get to know someone if you never ever talk with them on a deep level. I would recommend doing this and doing it as often as you need to, but always very prudently and in all modesty. Hope this helps a bit. Take care! Cheers, Dakota

[@Castropher]

I think the biggest problem we see in our faith today, is when the liety chooses to reject the teachings of a Father and the church, in favor of their own opinions. Unless a priest speaks in a way that contradicts established dogma, we should be obedient to them and their recommendations. As flawed sinful humans, it is too easy for us to go astray when we trust in our own judgments over than the word of God and the Church. Although I believe you make some valid points, take caution in what you think.

[@kellenfletcher7177]

@Astyrian Ferþ I love father ripperger, but even in this priests sermon, I can hear his voice waiver when coming to certain conclusions. Like how he came to the idea that if you can't provide for a woman immediately in marriage then you shouldn't be courting her is obsurd. Especially considering the fact that I'm a college student? And you want me to not even engage in courtship because I can't stop college in a year or 2? The rules are so hard I think its limiting the very will of God. The will of God is fixed yes, and while we can discern much of it, it's also not a mathematical equation we can calculate. It's a will, something incalculable. While I applaud this priests conviction, I don't think the sermon is a prudent message to be telling young people. This is even harsher than what father ripperger espouses and some of what he espouses is a little over the edge of reasonable expectations here or there when it specifically comes to courtship but this whole sermon is just over the top and has probably been a source of anxiety for young people. Those are my 2 cents

[@PUBLICnoose]

@@kellenfletcher7177 if you are in college you have no business courting

[@mariemunzar6474]

@@PUBLICnoose I disagree. People can and have courted while in college and married afterwards. It just will likely be a longer courtship because of your studies so keep that in mind. Also be more careful because you are young, and still learning about relationships. Not everyone in college (or anywhere else for that matter) will view relationships as oriented towards marriage and/or may date solely to have fun. Just to keep that in mind.

[@buscandoelcatolicismo]

Very good though I think some things are accidental and objectionable

[@julinecelentano8324]

What exactly is Troplusfix Dating Secrets? How does this thing really work? I see many people keep on talking about this popular dating manual.

[@aoiaaon]

I'm courting for the first time, and this guy already started calling me honey, sweetheart, & darling. We've only known each other for about two weeks. Is he going too far with the sweet names he calls me? Please advise.

[@yeseniasalamanca656]

As long he is modest I believe it's fine...

[@paxcoder]

I'd be wary. Express dislike carefully explaining the concern and goals. But I'm probably late, sorry.

[@bernadettem4630]

Id be careful as well..

[@tateharrigan8061]

Late post, but hon I do that and I’m in my 20’s with everyone

[@ednaa4382]

Wow.

[@TheKevin9000]

What is the picture at 2:30?

[@madchronz77]

Various orders / sects of Freemasonry

[@qdp03]

How dare you!

[@BugsyB1979]

Family life.

[@juang.c.6364]

Who's the priest who speaks? Is he father Ripperger?

[@idkman-c4y]

No

[@liamfoley9614]

Talks like this are why good Catholics are not getting married. What is laid out here is so completely unrealistic that less than 10% of young Catholics even quality. What would be more helpful is if priests gave individual guidance.

[@idkman-c4y]

Wait. Good Catholics aren't getting married?

[@cafecomescrita]

@@idkman-c4y yes. Had I followed this advice I would not be married to my wife, because I had no idea how we would support our home, let alone me providing without her salary.

[@cafecomescrita]

Sorry, this is so off of our reality that young people will find hard to apply many of those advices. Had I followed this advice I would not be married to my wife, because I had no idea how we would support our home, let alone me providing our family without her salary.

[@italianboyz12345]

God is not wrong and the values of Christianity are timeless. Only man is wrong.

[@BenedictumNomenIesu]

Use your common sense, don't race mix.

[@AJ-wq2bp]

You're mentally ill and your comment is racist and anticatholic

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

Don't race mix? That is inappropriate

[@BenedictumNomenIesu]

@@nicoleyoshihara4011 yes I know race mixing is inappropriate.

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

@@BenedictumNomenIesu no it isn't. It's a beautiful thing! I'm half Hispanic/Asian

[@BenedictumNomenIesu]

@@nicoleyoshihara4011 what are you then? What's your identity? To which natural group do you belong?

[@downfromkentuckeh]

It's over. Dating/courtship is dead, love is dead. Marriage is dead. God is coming with the chastisement. The relationship scene is absolutely abysmal in this day and age, guys like me do not have a SHRED of an idea how to be husbands, fathers, family men, I mean, I cant even talk to a woman correctly or carry a conversation. Already in our mid 20's, it's too late to learn, because we now have to worry about just surviving on our own. It's too late.

[@SciVias917]

Despair is not a virtue and not what God needs from us.

[@crohunter100]

thats exactly what the devil wants you to say

[@Corato4535]

I’m so sorry mate. I can feel your sadness and intense suffering through your message. Know that you are greatly loved by all of heaven and are not alone in your suffering. But Jesus is a God of Hope. And He wants you to Trust in Him. You are a man of worth with much to offer because you are a child of God. Look to the saints for virtues, pray novena to the Holy Spirit daily and look to St Joseph for the Ultimate virtues of husband and father. I would recommend Fr Don Calloways book on Consecration to St Joseph. I will pray for you🙏✝️

[@mrRambleGamble]

Terrible advice.

[@Brian17177]

How so? What's your advice?

[@kellenfletcher7177]

@@Brian17177 About 75% of what father ripperger teaches, 15% what you believe to be appropriate given the individuality of each soul assuming its not contrary to chastity or the laws of the church, And 10% of making an educated guess on what God wants after going to him in direct prayer. Some souls are going to be able to start holding hands a month into the relationship, others 3 months. There's an obvious line of when it's too early, especially for something like kissing which ought to only be happening 4+ months into the relationship but each relationshop is truly unique. Not a mathematical equation. Listening to a 24 minute excerpt of a convicted priest making irrational conclusions on shaky philosophy? I'll pass. A+ for conviction. D- for sound advice.

[@someman7]

​@@kellenfletcher7177 You haven't really answered the questions. You only asserted that holding hands and kissing is appropriate outside of marriage. As for what Fr. Ripperger suggests, it is to abstain from even just the emotional attachment until the couple is engaged. P.S. What do you mean "convicted priest"?

[@antonyzhang3409]

What exactly is Badofintao Secrets? How does this thing really work? I notice a lot of people keep on talking about this popular dating manual.

[@aninditadey7657]

What exactly is Troplusfix Dating Secrets? How does this thing really work? I notice many people keep on talking about this popular dating manual.