This Is Why Men End Up In The Friendzone

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[@tomdrummy4984]

If there is no reciprocating effort……..move on. If the words and actions don’t match, believe the actions.

[@JerrellWallace]

unconditional love

[@mikenelson8377]

Even actions though can be because her main option fell through for that time 👀🤷🏼‍♂️

[@thomaskositzki9424]

@@JerrellWallace "unconditional love" is such an unrealistic and toxic concept. It basically means slavery - the partner can do whatever they want, treat you as bad as they want, be selfish as hell... doesn't matter, you don't have any conditions for your love. In fact it is worse slavery than in the BDSM scene because there the terms of the play are negotiated before the play begins, usually by the "slave". In BDSM the "bottom" has the biggest say on what's going to happen and what isn't. 😉

[@smythe7480]

@@JerrellWallace should i stay with my wife that doesnt talk to me? one that goes out all night and comes home at 5am? gets mad when i ask when shes coming home? or just unconditionally love her and be miserable being with her?

[@jordanrayo2425]

Leave my brother be free, she is a black swan, by the time you leave she'll only realize her mistake and itll be too late be free run forest run😅 ​@smythe7480

[@daveblackman816]

When a woman says she’s busy or makes excuses up, she’s not into you. Unless there’s something very serious like her mom or dad is in critical condition or just passed away, she’s will make time for you.

[@Jeff__M]

Hey real estate mindset friend! 👋 Girls will always make time for the man she wants, no matter what.

[@fischersfritz468]

Nah. It is too hard to accept that no woman ever liked me in over 30 years (I'm 45)

[@JohnM...]

When I was a Simp, I was texting a woman all the time; asked her if she wanted to hang out; she said she would love to but had broken her toe (yeah, yeah, I know - pathetic Simp right?). Weeks later, saw pictures on Facebook of her on holiday…with a boyfriend 😩😩🤣🤣🤣

[@LeeEverett1]

One of the biggest lies a woman will say is "I'm busy". Sorry ladies but most of y'all really ain't that busy in general, especially busy enough to not respond to text messages. We know you're glued to your phone these days

[@garvitchouhan9819]

​@@fischersfritz468 Wanna have some pizza together someday?

[@garfieldGG]

If you’re in the friend zone. Leave the friend zone by leaving the friendship. It’s tough, but it’s necessary.

[@Celi.S.00]

Men "friend zone" themselves. Women are either interested or they're not. If they're not, then the man has the option to walk away. It's on him if he doesn't.

[@garfieldGG]

@ Agreed. But it’s hard to understand that in the moment.

[@trevorm9551]

Wrong

[@hkhkhnmmnlkyyutuytu]

@@Celi.S.00 I've been in it multiple times, 3 of the 4 times it became a relationship and got out of it, the 4th one, every time I left, she came and actively ended the no contact then restarted things. Seems like a generalization.

[@Raja1938]

Yep. Some women will absolutely try to shame you for not settling for friendship. Don’t fall for it. She’s no more entitled to your friendship than you are to her attraction.

[@TigaWould]

I like how direct she is! more people should be like that!

[@mikedegilde1122]

Come to the netherlands !

[@trevorm9551]

Eh but the thing is the world really isn’t black or white, especially women, they are very influence-able (notice I didn’t say manipulate-able). She’s 100% right in that snap shot of time, but women are drawn to masculine traits, so instead of talking about changing how much or how little you give to them/do for them, we should be talking about changing your natural masculine traits to generate sustained natural attraction… which is possible. It may not be the make or break, but it’s much more influential than the conversation this girl is putting forth.

[@TigaWould]

@ I do need a vacation and I am a photographer, I image I would get some incredible shots out there.

[@TigaWould]

@ It's interesting that you state focusing on yourself and becoming a better person is actually the solution to find and attracting what you want. it's almost as if the vast majority of people did that, the world would be a better place and full of focused people that would be able to verbalize what they want out of any relationship and feel less of a need to use and manipulate others (I am saying this both positively and sarcastically as if we all know what to do, but just not doing it because we don't know how, or just don't want to do the work). Furthermore, there has been a narrative going around for a long time that masculinity is "Toxic" and all the stories of toxic ex's so in western society we have developed this ideology that masculinity=toxic (unless there is a physical attraction then that same masculinity is either tolerated or becomes attractive). Here's the thing... everyone can, and should be focusing on bettering themselves. if everyone did a lot of these conversations would be over, but it's not that simple. Also, what's ironic is that there are times when people create a codependency to better themselves and at times, that's how a relationship works. You see it all the time, couples and people working harder because someone is depending on them (this is true for parents, friendships, business partnerships and overall relationships), yet people act like you can just isolate yourself and become a better person without insight on areas you need to improve and the proper motivation. Not everyone reaches the top of their potential, however, if you ever get the opportunity to speak to people that do reach the top of their potential , the one thing almost all of them say is it took others, it took encouragement, it took motivation, it took knowing someone else was counting on them for them to reach their top potential. the vast majority of human beings are NOT able to do this alone, so wanting or needing someone else isn't a weakness, it's admitting where and what would motivate you. just my thoughts 😉

[@SanVic]

@@trevorm9551 Totally disagree. Don't change a damn thing for any woman. You need sex? Hire a high-priced hot call girl who is a 10. Stop trying to change yourself for a 6 or 7.

[@WOHM8274]

This girl in the car is speaking facts, though.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Yep!

[@bhart3321]

Sarah Eaton is her name give her follow.

[@mikenelson8377]

Remove yourself from her carousel. See how composed she becomes when you destroy her ego.

[@nykia31]

She’s not wrong. Most friendzone situations are self inflicted. You’re choosing to stay in it.

[@rogersnick17]

Amen!

[@RyanPatrickFlanagan]

When she puts you in the "friend zone" say to her - cool - now be a good "friend" and connect me with one of your single girlfriends. Then you'll know how good a "friend" she is!

[@garypierce7380]

Great idea. “Since you’re not interested in me, how about introducing me to that friend of yours?”

[@Bracarensis]

To her BFF 😂

[@vladcraioveanu233]

None has any PORN star friends so they know nobody I would be interested about 😅

[@Mega11648]

lol. Did that and she said all of my friends aren't suitable for you as I know you :D

[@JaysonT1]

​@@vladcraioveanu233Sounds like an English teacher would be a better match for you.

[@molecule101]

There's a book called Casanova Optimization of Attraction, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal

[@Ceddyfrezh07]

Women don't care about how much you like them, they care about how much you make them FEEL.

[@lalosalamanca8574]

False. You don't know that

[@TKMacsta]

@@lalosalamanca8574 lol you'll find out soon enough

[@FEB-85]

​@@TKMacsta😂

[@trevorm9551]

*about how much you make them feel

[@trevorm9551]

@@lalosalamanca8574😂

[@chrismoore9997]

My woman drove over four hours on a Friday to spend the weekend with me knowing that she was going to have to drive back home on Sunday. When a woman wants you, she will make it obvious.

[@jbac5767]

Yup!!

[@JetBazooka21]

4 hours just for some pipe?….you got her like a trained seal brev

[@Adam25826]

@@JetBazooka21😂

[@SanVic]

True, and I would add this. There's not a better feeling than rejecting a girl who wants you. It is better than sex. They look like the damn floor just fell out underneath them. It's priceless.

[@andersnielsen6044]

True words.. The second you are in doubt - love is gone ;)

[@kiranicharles0112]

I know the feeling. I was always the 'nice guy', even though I thought I wasn't one. I just treat everyone with respect, as you should. But you can't be people-pleaser, you need to fight for yourself. For me everything changed after I started reading books on Mind-bloomery. I learned how to be confident, and how to express my needs without being aggressive. It's wild how people, including women, start noticing you when you know your worth. Now I date someone who is way out of my league when it comes to looks, but she loves every moment of being around me :)

[@rickgsink225]

Should I get all books?

[@patriciakilgo23]

We don't like nice guys, we like kind guys :)

[@DDD11239]

​@@patriciakilgo23 Tell those who claim to be mature and intelligent, yet fall for abusive nature.

[@JustSkram]

Nice gaslight ​@@patriciakilgo23

[@Yota4Life]

Ads lol

[@jimschaffner1]

Another reason why you shouldn't go after the girl at work. Imagine being friendzoned by someone you work with, then having to continue to work with her after your heart is broken. Been there, it sucks.

[@sheed321]

Yeah pursuing a colleague is very low iq

[@ivanc8874]

100% spot on. Made this mistake just recently at work. Got turned down said shes was busy with the work and family. But she's been eating lunch with another guy and they are always smiling and laughing and leave work together. And now i have to see it every day.

[@Rico401Prov]

@@ivanc8874bro leave that job lol I’m not even joking

[@DionLYA]

@@ivanc8874 LOL I am like that guy too! She eats lunch with me, smiles, laughs, and leaves work together with me! I also got to pat her shoulders when we were teasing each other! But in the end, after 3 months, I decided to ask her to hangout (not even a date). she also made an excuse saying she is busy with family, and then started to avoid me.

[@melkerner]

NEVER crap where you eat - NEVER

[@RobbytheRobot56]

I will be 33 in April and out of the hundreds of people I've seen in the friendzone I've only known two people who got out of it. In both cases it was a heavy person who lost weight and ended up being good looking.

[@cobraelectric]

Only way out of the friendzone is to take yourself out. I don't mean hooking up with the ones you are attracted to, I mean just sever communication and move on. It rarely proves to be "they don't know what they had until it's gone" most of the time they do not even notice

[@mamc1986]

It’s true to some degree. It’s like when men don’t notice their girl classmates…. Only for their girl classmates to grow up beautiful, then they notice.

[@RobbytheRobot56]

There was a girl I put in the friendzone in junior high because I wasn't attracted to her. She grew up to be really pretty. That's what I get for being a shallow kid.

[@SanVic]

@@RobbytheRobot56 I love putting women in the friendzone, they are so f*cking shocked, it's better than sex.

[@Richatyourzenith]

@@RobbytheRobot56 Save yourself from the "What if's" and regret - just remember that for every gorgeous and seemingly "perfect" woman, there is at least one guy or gal who is sick of her shit.

[@mjolnir1964]

I've been friend zoned more times than I care to imagine. Finally broke out of that habit last year. It's a fact that we do often put ourselves there, and a lot of women will happily let us.

[@SanVic]

Let us? Huh? Brother, grow a spine and stand up straight. Women don't "let" you do anything.

[@kellygreenii]

@@mjolnir1964 Women with integrity won’t let you do that. But you can’t count on her having it.

[@jfkst1]

It's the universal problem: The women I find attractive don't find me attractive and the women that find me attractive I don't find attractive lol.

[@williamoneal2763]

Sounds like you maybe the problem. I see a pattern here.😮😮

[@carza355]

Story of my life.

[@jfkst1]

@ No doubt. But I can only do so much with being a 5'8'' relatively normal guy. I put in the work staying fit, making decent money, and being engaging but ultimately don't have anything to standout with. Maybe I'll get there eventually but I'm not young either lol.

[@darylfoster7944]

@@jfkst1 most people are average, and end marrying/dating other average people.

[@omicronceti6063]

That's one thing and another thing is spiritual. Girls you WANT don't want you. Girls who wants you, you DON'T want them.

[@djp_video]

I learned this lesson years ago. But it hurts when no women are ever into you. And if you cut off all women who treat you this way, sometimes that means you don't have any interaction at all.

[@carza355]

This is very very true!

[@cobraelectric]

We will see a growing number of people realizing this hard truth and not just men

[@mormegil84]

Exactly. You'll end up alone. Sometimes, it's good to have a few female friends.

[@GuilhermeOliveira-qh8wf]

And that's where it lives the worst part about it. At the end of the day you will ended up so alone and loneless kills every man. Man often see themselves of trying to be social and have nothing, try to be less simp and ended up alone regardless. There is nothing that interests you, it keeps getting worse and worse for each man and I honestly I was like that for about 20 years. Got used to it, I still am, but I would be lying if I say I didn't just want to drop my arms and fell asleep with someone on their nap.

[@MattiaManzini]

There’s a saying we have in Italy: “Better alone than in bad company”

[@bosoxer4eva]

Let them walk away if their actions show they don't want you. Don't chase. Trust me, it will save you a ton of heartache, mental anguish, effort, time and money in the long run. The girl that runs to you, not away from you, is the one that's a keeper. Treat her good fellas, but demand that in return.

[@SanVic]

Terrible advice. Friendzone the girls who run to you. Hire a high-priced call girl who is a 10.

[@neonnwave1]

When I asked my female friend about the idea of us dating, she told me that either we're friends or we never see each other ever again. I was hurt at first by what she said but she clarified that she doesn't want to keep me around giving me false hope. We're still friends, though I hardly ever talk to her since she's in a relationship, and I gave up on the thought of us dating. As a result, I have spoken to other women (with some levels of success - still learning). So if a woman friendzones you but keeps you around, walk away. A good person will want what's best for you even if they're not in the picture.

[@maryamadedeji24]

👍

[@russ254]

an honest woman

[@mormegil84]

You two are both very mature. Well done.

[@TheWinterfox10]

I wish more people would talk about the difference between a woman who will never be interested, a woman who is clueless about how to interact with men, and a woman who simply has other things going on at the moment.

[@moonguy30]

Needed this video! Had a chick I knew casually in my gym and one day she approached me, asked me out, asked for my number, texted me right then and there. Hit her up four days later to meet up for a drink and she replied a few hours later saying she had to work the late shift (bartender/server) and asked me if we could reschedule. I proposed a new date and never heard back. This was in December. Saw her in my gym yesterday but we didn’t interact. It is what it is.

[@kellygreenii]

@@moonguy30 That’s on her…not you.

[@nickpapagiorgio702]

It's so weird when they ask YOU out and then flake. Like, why ask?

[@MO-ss5mj]

4 days later?? Should have next day when attraction was "hot"

[@thecrib8]

I used to be the Nice Guy. I had to stop pursuing relationships all together to recalibrate my worth and my goals. It’s been the best! I encourage others to do the same.

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

How's your life now?

[@thecrib8]

Miles better. Had a meeting with Disney+ about a TV project I’m pitching, improved my health and my interactions with people is the best. I even wrote a book on it. The Nice Guy Handbook. It on Audible. When you turn all your investment in yourself and remove the pressure to find someone, it makes you better and, to be honest, more attractive without trying since you are focus on completing goals. That fulfils you and gives you a great energy and disposition. Full endorsement!

[@ianm8218]

Self improvement is always the answer

[@dwighthayles1226]

Also if she rejects a coffee date with you and requires a dinner date, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

[@dj_gzero]

I remember you saying in one of your vids something along the lines of “No matter how busy she is, if she valued you, she’d make time” That woke me up

[@andersnielsen6044]

In the second you are in doubt - Love is already gone ;)

[@maik_be]

"when you can let go of the wrong people, you can finally create the space for the right people to find you" really really good quote and advice. Hope this hit home with any single guys out there and honestly for anyone in any relationship romantic, plutonic or otherwise

[@HashBandicoot356]

Harsh reality is when a lot of guys accept the invitation to be "friends" after rejection it's not real friendship; it can never be friendship if they still want more. Even if they were to mostly abandon the hope of having romance, there is still going to be a weird power imbalance because both parties know there's desire on one end and not the other plus the rejection. A lot of these guys just get turned into pets or orbiters. It's a very disingenuous "friendship" and not worth it probably 9/10 times. You should default to acquaintances after a rejection and if friendship re develops ok. When the girl formally offers friendship as a consolation prize....right off the bat that's not how most friendships work or begin or continue. It's like a job offer, and not for the position you want.

[@TonyQuinn]

Maybe you’re right. I did this to myself, and while I don’t totally regret it because she’s a great friend, I feel like things changed after that.

[@HashBandicoot356]

@@TonyQuinn If she is actually a great friend and you can put other desires aside you shouldn't regret it. I am just saying this is the exception not the rule.

[@GuilhermeOliveira-qh8wf]

That's right there the issue I have with women nowadays, mostly hipocritical they are. They keep saying and saying they want someone cool, yet their actions are to misstreat you into something you were treated at first place. It becomes stale, because the friendzone on my way of seeing it only hurts if the women kept treating you like a boyfriend, saying the exactly words that makes you think she actually wants it only to end up treating the guy as "Sike, fooled'ya. You will never be my boyfriend" and for what is worse, these women only potentially see you in a romantic type only if she see she was treated horribly before.

[@UggoKanga]

No friendzoning for sub5 men like me LOL

[@fourdoor455]

If you are friend-zoned, go no-contact and don't look back. If her feelings for you change, she will reach out to you. If you try to start over and she shoots you down, chances are she is only seeking validation. Looking at what she does compared to what she says could not be more true.

[@Raja1938]

If she tells you her feelings have changed, tell her sorry. She had her chance and blew it.

[@fourdoor455]

@@Raja1938 Yep. I like that perspective as well.

[@deallan123]

You can't force attraction if you don't look attractive enough (genetics).

[@mr.magnetic8884]

I appreciate Courtney in this video. Attraction happens when there is compatibility and common ground. You can't want someone into wanting you more. A relationship is a two way street. If one person is not attracted nor interested, like Courtney said no matter what you do, that spark of attraction and availability will never be there. Good Video.

[@mprime6807]

I think men are tired of being presented bs with a pretty bow attached. That's why Sarah Eaton is so refreshing. Honesty without pretense.

[@darylfoster7944]

You can polish a piece of 💩, but you just end up with a shiny turd.

[@Snarge22]

Observes people's behavior. Not what they say. Sarah Eaton is rather rough and tumble, yet that's what it takes sometimes to get someone to actually see the situation as it is.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Totally! I can see how it’s helpful for people

[@rmikel14789]

Agree. Even if something does change in the future, for the man to become more attractive, he should never ever ever trust her, friend zoning, It’s a permanent one and done. They no longer matter to a man. Further should a man trust her if on the rare occasion, she unfriend zoned him? The answer is hell no.

[@Snarge22]

Right@ . A woman must be "into" the guy in a significant way. Indifference on her part, or one-way efforts on the part of the fella is a no-go. No matter what she says.

[@Vladimyrful]

@@CourtneyRyan I think you should learn from her example. In the story you told I bet the guy(s) didn't meet a standard you had - very likely physical - which you didn't want to share with us probably out of respect for them. However, if you have a channel dedicated to helping men, sugarcoating the REAL reasons why you don't get picked doesn't help. It's rarely this ephemeral "je ne sais quoi" it's probably something concrete but it'd make you feel icky if you admitted it.

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

This woman speaks the truth

[@JerrellWallace]

whivj parts you think?

[@stevenwallace773]

Guys do this because that's how their moms taught them to treat women.

[@joshuarodriguez423]

Exactly. Never mind my mom treated the man who was similar to me like shit while treating the dude who knocked her up twice and dipped better.

[@Swearengen1980]

Not mine. I was raised to be the man, not the little bitch. Lead by example, be sweet and chivalrous, but don't take any shit or excuses; always stand up for yourself. What mom teachers their boy to simp and spend money on a chick who has no interest in him? That shit doesn't work on country folk. FTR - My parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary.

[@justtekina6709]

I'm hearing my mom and older sister shit talk my sister ex husband of 2 years just calling him a loser most of the time basically she had no love for the guy just wanted to do what she thought she was supposed to, secure a husband she now being a 304 and dating trying to seek out sugar daddies, women are forever hoes and teach their daughters to be so too, to use men as slaves

[@bobgriswold8950]

And/or popular culture. So many Hollywood stories of boy meets girl, girl doesnt like boy, so boy does some grand romantic gesture that makes girl realize that he is the one for her. A twist on this theme is that girl has a boyfriend or husband who is a total jerk amd ends up leaving them for the nice guy who she was meant to be with all along. Not how it works in real life. In real life, boy meets girl, girl doesnt like boy, boy does a grand romantic gesture and makes a fool of himself, girl files a restraining order.

[@justtekina6709]

@bobgriswold8950 so weird, that, that's the case, I made the mistake of doing that, I should of led with like sexual attraction or something else than love

[@tetro9999]

I watch her videos all the time. She speaks very valuable facts and explain how to help a lot of us understand how the chemistry relates and how the female population sees over us.

[@richardruiz6972]

The first speaker Sara is spot on...if guys learn this early they will save themselves a lot of time, effort and money

[@kennv7566]

Keep in mind a study and survey was done on women found that 80% of men are unattractive to women. Like the women in the video said she will give a clear sign if she is into you. On another note with all the content on youtube, young guys are learning earlier and becoming smarter about female nature, some of these girls may start seeing guys disappear from their friend zone.

[@toddw14]

I wish alot of this type of material had been around when I was in my 20's, it would've saved me so much time & hassle trying to make someone like me back then.

[@EDMemm]

I'm curious about the study. Do you have a link?

[@toddw14]

@@EDMemm It was done a few years ago but yeah, its not just unattractive but ugly.

[@kennv7566]

@@EDMemm goggle women find 80 percent of men unattractive, the search will bring you to many links

[@triggersf2]

@@EDMemm he get's it from the questionable dating app datasets. The problem is that when you try to conduct a 'study' on female attraction you have to follow the scientific method- but there's very little facts or rationality to go on making the study fail before it can even begin. There's only one constant, the 30 day ovulation cycle which is almost always ignored or completely suppressed within the female by birth control hormones.

[@Mact8891]

Courtney, thank you so much for making so much clear to me. I think I put myself in a situation where I’ve overextended myself in hopes of something coming out of it through my efforts, but it really is a sign that she’s not interested as much as I am. Definitely not giving up but just making my wise moves.

[@cur244]

The texting thing goes for anyone. When people are on their phone for hours a day and can't respond over the course of a week it's best to take the clue and know you're not a priority.

[@Swearengen1980]

12 hours unless they're a nurse, Dr., etc. That's what I give them to reply appropriately. No one is that busy and if they like you, you'll likely hear from them before and after work.

[@cur244]

@@Swearengen1980 I mean I'd give people at least a day in day to day living. If they're on vacation longer is fine. I've had family tell me they're busy and they take a week to respond over the course of a decade. Yeah I took the clue and just stopped texting them.

[@cur244]

@@Swearengen1980 Honestly even doctors have 30 seconds to respond over the course of a day. Everyone has to go to the bathroom.

[@Swearengen1980]

@@cur244 There are always exceptions, but it's rare. Family emergencies, deaths, injured kids, and so on don't happen in people's lives as frequently as women use them as excuses LOL. It's not even worth the headache to give them the benefit of the doubt anymore unless you have a good reason not to. Any guy with good instincts and a bit of common sense can sniff out the bullshit vs. genuine.

[@cur244]

@ Yup and it's not only women. I know guys constantly on their phones and don't respond for a week or more. Everyone even under those circumstances you listed has 30 seconds to respond over a week.

[@MichaelAluminumCan]

Finally a woman told 100 percent truth. She's "to the point."

[@Sid-ol7zo]

My first-ever comment :) Just a bit of wisdom to share: 'Love doesn’t mean chasing or forcing; it means being present, authentic, giving love selflessly, and being wise enough to let go when needed. If she doesn’t reciprocate, you can move forward knowing you gave your best in the most honorable way. If she does, it will be on her terms, with full awareness of what you bring to the table-and vice versa.'

[@russelllroni]

Facts in your face. Love it. Stop friendzoning yourselves. I've got with a girl that I friendzoned myself with 6 years prior. You pursue elsewhere and continue to work on yourself and your current relationships, as well as build new ones. She may see you then and change her mind about you. By then, you won't care. Do better and get better, gentleman. Never stop pursuing greatness.

[@letterkeys4440]

Was recently in a situation like this. I kept getting thrown off by how jealous she was of other women I talked to in front of her. Some people simply just want attention

[@isaura-22]

My boyfriend at the time simply stopped, which gave me the space to fall in love with him. Now, we're getting married soon! Giving other women attention is disrespectful-just don’t do it!

[@isaura-22]

Just kidding! Go for a woman who doesn’t mind talking to a lot of women-she’ll be chatting with plenty of guys too.

[@isaura-22]

hahahaha do whatever you will get whatever.

[@john-paulforester9019]

I needed this today

[@christopherparbs]

What Courtney mentioned was right. Gents, if the interaction doesn't swing in your favor, chalk it up as an experience, chill for a bit and then move on. If she still wants to be friends and you know you can't because of how you feel, tell her. Make a clean break.

[@jasonfreese2654]

Right to the point and just wish women would be this upfront and honest

[@ajtaylor8750]

Unless you're truly platonic friends with a woman, the "friend zone" is non-existent. If a woman is giving your the runaround instead of just telling you flat out that she's doesn't see you in a romantic sense, take the hints and move on. Don't be a placeholder for another guy or believe that on day she'll choose you.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Amen!!

[@lalosalamanca8574]

@@CourtneyRyan maybe your were in the friendzone before. I know Lots of girls ended up in fhd friendzone because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. You were probably got friendzoned by guys. Or you were a place holder

[@FEB-85]

​@@lalosalamanca8574 WTH are you talking about lol

[@smartiekate6312]

You need to be cruel to be kind. Just rip the bandaid and say "No thanks" if you're not interested. I myself only want truly platonic guy friends. I don't get the "not wanting to hurt their feelings" or coming up with excuses. Just save everyone the time, energy and frustration. Stop hoping they'll "get it eventually" .🙄

[@carlrav5660]

After 2 years of friendzone (we did hook up a couple times) I had to walk. Felt like a full blown break up to me. Heart torn out. Kids had to disconnect too... that was 1 year ago

[@connergoldberg]

So glad that you shared it's okay to move on from women that friendzone them. A lot of women somehow make it out like they are the victims that guys suddenly develop feelings for them over time and they thought they had made a genuine friend with a guy who just liked them for their personality and wasn't attracted to them. It's like really weird to not want to be liked physically and valued only by your utility. But I digress. Men can't control how they feel (no one can) and it's okay to make it clear that you don't feel the same, but make it extremely clear that you don't want them to do anything they aren't comfortable doing for their friends who are men and getting special treatment and heck may support or set them up with dating. Likewise you get no say on if they move on. That is their decision to make.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

I love Sara Eaton. She's so brutally honest that we need more of her. Believe it or not, I respect anyone who's good, real and genuine. I never like to be around anyone who's fake and lie to me.

[@erictriplett33]

I love how she's brutally honest and direct, but not mean. I don't consider her video mean in any way, it's just being direct. No nonsense, common-sense. Need more of that.

[@launchsquid]

Grew up with my sister, listening to her and her friends talking about guys and how they think of them is enlightening. If you're jumping in to save the day at a moments notice they notice this and remember this and tell their friends and they all know that when they need that thing done they can call on you, but they never turn that into attraction. They're attracted to guys that look good and or charismatic. Even deadbeats that can't do shit for themselves or others get interest from the ladies because he's funny, clever, cute etc. If they're into you they're into you, you don't have to do anything more, it's already done.

[@SanVic]

This is excellent and contradicts @CourtneyRyan's bullsh*t: "If they're into you they're into you, you don't have to do anything more, it's already done."

[@FuckKamalaHarris]

Absolutely. One of my buddies is that “go to” guy that tons of women call whenever they need their car fixed. He’s tried to get with every last one of them, and has never succeeded. He’s been doing this for years, and to this day, still doesn’t realize he’s being used. Just because a girl texts you doesn’t mean she likes you. Rather, you should be asking yourself, “I wonder what’s in it for her?”

[@quattron-1126]

The girl in the car talks the truth about dating nowadays. I like her.

[@jesus_is_peace]

i dont

[@darylfoster7944]

Her voice is really annoying

[@c19ANDRE]

I respect myself enough to not get friendzoned…literally 0 point in having female friends

[@lawrencewalston2272]

I just stopped trying altogether. After speed-dating events didn't pan out, I'm over it. That doesn't mean I would rule out a chance encounter that could lead to something provided it doesn't require me having to compromise my principles. As such, I'm done with trying and am okay with being single.

[@matthewnanes]

Developing your self-worth and knowing when to walk away when you know things aren't being reciprocated saves sooo much time and worry. It also turns out having self-worth is attractive to women too. Win-win!

[@iansnider4698]

One thing that I will say from personal experience is that there was this one woman I was talking to for a while up until about a year ago. What really confused me about it is that I spoke to a close friend of hers and this close friend confirmed to me that the girl I was talking to really likes me. However, whenever I would try to do something with her, she would come up with excuses that she was too busy or send mixed signals. Granted, she was a double major and had a lot on her plate, but I ended up moving on. The final straw for me was back in March of 2024 (which was the last time I texted her). She didn't respond to me until three weeks later. I was super annoyed at her playing games with me that I left her on read to this day. It was disappointing, but I didn't want to waste any more time on her.

[@FenixShephard]

You did the right think my friend. You start to feel a bit pathetic when you let shit slide time and time again. I had to do the same thing. It's tough but a clean cut is best for oneself

[@MrHDProd]

She never liked you bro im sorry 😣

[@manclg732]

Women love self worth if your on your game brothers your self worth is magnetic to them stay focused on you.

[@angelacosta466]

When I was younger I was really into this girl I was friends with. I kept trying to date her but she told me she saw me as a brother. I didn’t give up but eventually I realized I was wasting my time. Once I moved on I found someone that was genuinely interested and we both had that romantic connection without all the extra effort.

[@JohnJunior-l9z]

This girl is 100% right.shes not lying.

[@Mark12262-H]

Met a girl a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers and went on first date. It went very well. I'm a little older and it was the first time a girl ever ASKED ME if she could kiss me. She did and we kissed multiple times throughout the night. She threw compliments at me like I've never heard. At the end we made plans for a second date. There were zero red flags on the first date. Very long story short I've seen her twice since but not in a 1 on 1 date and she is just treating me like a good friend. No kissing, no affection, not as much compliments. Now look I'm not a little boy, I'm 41 and I have experience and I'm not trying to be needy here. But the extreme contrast from seemingly one day to the next caught me very off guard. Be careful out there guys and don't get too attached. Courtney gives fantastic advice but take it from me, there can be zero warning signs and STILL things can go wrong. Try not to take it personally.

[@jleano609]

If you are not on a 1 on 1 date, that's not a true date. Never involve other people in early dating stages. REFUSE group dates if she's suggesting them. Shit Test 101. If you are suggesting these things, that's just poor logistics.

[@josesantana770]

Did she reject you advances or you just were expecting the same treatment as the first date?

[@Mark12262-H]

@@jleano609 nothing like that. There’s a place that we both frequent a few times a week and I’ve just ended up being there at the same time as her a couple times. The first time she was with a group of friends, but immediately called me over to the table and we spent the rest of the night together as a group. I wasn’t expecting much that night. then a few days later, I went there and she was also there, but she was studying for a test. Again, I’m not expecting much. It’s just a huge difference from the date we went on to how she’s been with me since. That’s all I’m trying to get at. And no, I have not suggested any group dates haha.

[@Swearengen1980]

@@jleano609 Bingo. Very few women, unless she's just slutty or very needy/falls too easily, is going to act affectionate in front of her friends. They'll probably give her shit for it and tell her to ease up, maybe she's afraid of looking easy. There's a dozen reasons why it's a bad idea altogether beyond the fact that early dating should always be 1 on 1. He did this to himself.

[@Mark12262-H]

@@josesantana770 it’s not so much that she rejected my advances because I wasn’t being forceful in any physical way of course. But the flirtations that were there on our first date were mostly gone by the second time we met up. That’s what’s really throwing me off. And let me be Frank, when I say flirtatious, I literally mean her, staring at me across the table with that smirk doing the little headshake and saying, I can’t believe I’m sitting across from such a perfect guy and her leaning across the table and kissing me. So I don’t think that’s me taking false signals from a date. Going from that, to seemingly very little interest overnight is just kind of strange. I’m sure she has her reasons but I’m just a little bit flabbergasted is all..

[@stratosfire1943]

Ya know what i appreciate this woman hitting with a sledgehammer of truth

[@carlhicks376]

I no longer care if I date or not. I dont play those kind of games. I will be polite, respectful and even very flirty at times. But I'm not gonna beg for her attention. Either she's interested or not.

[@JoseSanchez-sp2ex]

Bravo. They say when u don't care and ignore her that's when she wants you.

[@introvertdude99]

@@JoseSanchez-sp2exthose are the kinds to avoid 😂. In my experience that’s mostly an American woman thing

[@jbac5767]

Facts.

[@JaysonT1]

​​@@JoseSanchez-sp2ex"Ignore her"? You clearly are playing the game and 100% miss the point. If you are "ignoring" her, then your intentions are to get her attention and in turn being as needy as the nice guy.

[@harrisonseeley7712]

Happily engaged, but this channel was really helpful back in the day at helping me realize that the nice guy tactics don't work, and to try being kind but direct, and respect myself.

[@CourtneyRyan]

@@harrisonseeley7712 I’m so glad I could help ❤️ congratulations on your engagement!

[@Sez___]

they probably aren't a good friend if they know you like them and don't set you straight and instead lie and say it's because they are busy or whatever and don't set you straight on the reality that it isn't going to happen. It wastes your time, puts you in a position to be hurt, and potentially take money from you either directly or indirectly that you wouldn't give if you knew it wasn't going to happen.

[@kevindoyle6769]

I'm not sure how this video ended up in my feed, but I have to say Wow. I'm sixty years old, and watching this instantly transported me back to my mid to late twenties.I was a guy who checked every one of the boxes being discussed here, and I can tell you the advice is spot on. As I was listening to the litany of all the things guys try to do to win her over, I was saying to myself, "yep, yep, and yep." So vividly reminds me of what a pushover I was at one time and how I couldn't see the truth even though it was smacking me in the face on an almost daily basis. Harsh advice given here, but good and true advice.

[@tonydesign9646]

I’m a firm believer in letting it flow. If the relationship evolves into a romantic one, awesome. If it grows into a friendship between both, that’s cool! And if both go separate ways, it’s a learning experience. Multiple no’s will get you closer to a yes, but during the journey, you learn about yourself and what you are looking for in another.

[@jleano609]

Multiple no's will not get you closer to a yes. Orbiting a girl is by definition unattractive. You are moving yourself further from what you want. Walking away is the stronger move in fact and generating pre-selection by having OTHER girls interested in you is perhaps the only way to change her mind by generating an emotional spike that HAS A SMALL CHANCE of working - but better to stick with that OTHER GIRL!!!!!!!

[@Swearengen1980]

@@jleano609 Yeah, that dude just doesn't have many options I'm assuming. Women want an assertive man who makes plans, is thoughtful about their time together, etc. Being the friend, you're not giving her what she wants in a romantic partner and she'll treat you as such. Try to do so when she doesn't want you to and you're probably the simp that's pissing money away. The reality is, while you're being "friends", she's sleeping with or pursuing someone else. The "friends first" thing is a scam to waste your time while she doesn't feel lonely as she looks for a better option. The only exception is to get her to clarify if by "Friends first", she means, "Spend time together like we're dating, but sex is off the table until we decide it's a real relationship that's going somewhere". I often find the latter to be the case and they just word it poorly.

[@jleano609]

@@Swearengen1980yeah, mostly correct. My experience though on the whole “waiting for sex” is that it’s a shit test. Just laugh, smile and be cool if SHE brings it up. Never negotiate or even acknowledge her position because nothing changes the fact that if no sex happens after 3-5 dates, then you are walking. Thats your frame and you stick to it and she doesn’t even need to know about it.

[@Swearengen1980]

@@jleano609 It's not always a shit test at all and subject to circumstances. Clearly you've never dated a devout Christian who lives by her word and walks the walk. Now in most cases, they will still cave to their own cravings after 4-6 weeks (if you're seeing them at least twice a week and spending extensive time together), but some actually are committed to valuing themselves by not fucking a dude after 3 dates.

[@rmikel14789]

Hell, no, it’s a one and done transgression.

[@jugulartara4388]

This woman is spot on. Complete truth.

[@harrygrossman4378]

I made this mistake 20 years ago when I was in my 20s buying women everything hoping they would change their mind but they never did

[@trevertravis8963]

Same.

[@JasonMarshMusic]

Thanks for the video. Recently, I was texting a female coworker I was curious about. She's a mature, educated woman who works at a different branch than me so I don't see her face to face very often. It started with me inviting her to lunch, which she declined due to being busy. We then had some friendly texts back and forward, then she didn't reply to one of my messages, so I stopped initiating contact. I don't know exactly what she's thinking, but she probably doesn't want to an uncomfortable situation at work, and frankly, neither do I.

[@keiththompson8021]

I didn't know this growing up. Learned it late, and still don't pick up hints too well. It tells me I will not be in a relationship anytime soon. She will have to tell me she likes me, I give up on guessing. (I do not expect that to happen.)

[@nikitamarynich1794]

Really good video. Work on yourself and take risks. If you do nothing, you get nothing. Sometimes it takes a few failures to find your other half. It's truly worth it in the end.

[@stanleymartins-o3s]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@emilyclark-m2g]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@stanleymartins-o3s]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@emilyclark-m2g]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@stanleymartins-o3s]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387]

Try no contact

[@garmisra7841]

It's hard. The three strike rule is a good one. Hanging out isn't a relationship, doing friend activities isn't a relationship. Most women don't know what they want until they see it. There's a big difference between what they think they want or what they fantasize about and the person that they actually end up with. Six-five, blue eyes, trust fund, finance, all of that - it's valid because that's aspirational, shallow stuff, but anybody can connect with another person for any reason, and they can not feel connected to another person for any reason whatsoever. There are no grand romantic storylines, only varying degrees of compatibility, chemistry, and attraction. Guys (inc. me) make the mistake of always wanting to know 'why' or the root reason for no attraction being there, but more often it's not something that the woman knows herself. She just knows it's not there.

[@t.l.7733]

On my last cold approach, the woman said w/a smirk & a chuckle, "sorry dude, you're just not in my league" I remained calm & stoic & replied 'thank you" I could quickly tell that I tilted the pinball machine (so to speak) She replied back w/an awkward laugh "I just insulted you, simp." I replied, I'know & that's why I'm thanking you...for tipping your hand & showing me your true colors right away & not to waste more then a minute of my time on you. Make it a great day." She was calling me names as I walked away.

[@TheWinterfox10]

I don't think very many women know what the word "simp" actually means.

[@antoniovillanueva1119]

You're the man. Cold approaches are not easy.

[@mavericksingz7313]

all you should have said was that "I know. thats why I am trying to pump and dump you".

[@hmandrandomnumbersafterwards]

On today's episode of "Shit that never happened!"...

[@TheWinterfox10]

@ That kind of thing absolutely happens here in the NE US. The women around here have absolutely no issue with getting aggressive and unpleasant with men.

[@Noha-gh7yl]

Remember, if you’re trying to impress a girl, there’s another guy she is trying to impress 😂

[@erictriplett33]

This is really mature and valuable, solid advice.

[@bigd3087]

Sara is amazing. Love her "k bye" after spitting facts...she's a great resource just like you, Courtney! 👍🏻

[@aaront4472]

If you don’t call women out on their bs, then they’ll think you’re just being nice to get whatever you want. Then they’ll put you in the friend zone. You must lead to not get put in the friend zone.

[@jleano609]

No woman puts you in the friendzone. A guy puts HIMSELF in the friendzone. No need to call her out on her BS. Just WALK.

[@c.b.m.55]

They WANT you to call them out on their bs. It shows them that you’re not worshiping them like all the other guys and putting her on a pedestal. Just be very calm when you call her out. And if she doesn’t correct herself THEN walk away.

[@williamreynolds5567]

Amen! Sara Eaton is an absolute Queen!

[@krishna335]

2 options for men in such scenarios - Be a strictly platonic friend and hang on - Cease all contact, delete all details, and let go Anything else is sheer torture

[@CourtneyRyan]

😬😬

[@bawseeeee602]

Platonic is a waste of time.

[@Princess-Um]

I agree. My niece had a guy who was her bff for years. He saw her through a years long relationship with another guy and then through the breakup. Eventually, she realized what a great guy he was, and now they've been happily married for 10 years and have 3 kids. This is NOT always the case. He saw the value of who she was and deemed that she was worth it. He took a risk, and for him, it paid off. Sometimes you can certainly take the risk and not get what you want. Be real with yourself. Determine the pros and cons. Decide, and then decide to live with the outcome.

[@jahmed1999]

If you see her romantically then you can't be platonic as it will just lead to pain, so the only option is to cut all contact and move on with your life.

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

@@Princess-Um How many years was he waiting?

[@Justme-2727uno]

I have been there. Done that. No more wasting time on nuisance situations. Just walk away. Save yourself from the embarrassment.

[@mikenelson8377]

Remove yourself from her carousel and destroy her ego. See how composed she becomes when her main option finds something way better than her.

[@YoungBlackJedi]

Better to just move on and keep it moving. I have dealt with this numerous times Courtney, from older women, married women, single women, if a woman wants to engage with me deeper, then I am wanting a full reciprocal relationship that will grow into a union. If it’s not that, thanks but no thanks! Love the content proud of your success, the world needs your voice!!!!! Men and women alike!!!

[@skrem23]

This video hit way too close to home for me. I needed it though. Thanks, Courtney.

[@JerrellWallace]

she beaving some sexy guests bella holla

[@CourtneyRyan]

I’m glad it helped! ❤️

[@lalosalamanca8574]

@@CourtneyRyan friendzone is not gender specific.

[@gerardsloan1593]

A nice guy only helps others because he wants something in return. A nice guy is clever deceitful manipulative with an ulterior motive. They usually lack confidence and offer little else. These type of people deserve to fail. Be yourself.

[@ohjay7612]

The reason that guys stay in the friendzone is that people lie to them about what women want and like. They keep doing things that they are led to believe women like, expecting it to work. Which makes sense, but people are lying about what those things are, namely a lot of attraction is shallow and if she doesnt like how you look, its over.

[@Doberman_6773]

Men are lied to in general, noy just about women. Thankfully, the internet is putting the truth out there; unfortunately, most men are still blue pilled by the time they're exposed to this info.

[@UggoKanga]

Well I'm a sub5 so I don't even make it into that lmao Instead I get laughed at for my looks (and today, I even had children do exactly just that)

[@johnsmith-bb1cl]

If you get in the friend zone that's a no

[@x-man5056]

The "friendzone" is miss-named. The "friend" part is wrong. It is a euphemism for a sympathetic, soft rejection. There is zero reason for you to stay friends with someone who rejected you. It's NOT REAL friends. Don't try to make it that way, it will hold you back. You are spinning your wheels. Find someone you DO have traction with.

[@BeautekeLoentje2]

..Sara is the most straight forward and to the point, she rules on this topics..and That's why i like her channel already a long time..🎉🎉🎉

[@dtuitt79]

If a woman is into you, she will do most if not all of the work. You won't have to earn her attention, time or affection, she will offer them freely. This is also true for men.

[@thomaspfeil7084]

This girl showed me that my own ego and gaslighting kept me in a situationship. Thank you ❤️

[@DeanOSupremo32]

While I understand that it's hard to reject someone... Why not take the short term pain in order to do the right thing and clear the air as oppose to causing prolonged long term pain to the rejectee by being avoidant or sending mixed signals? We can be afraid to hurt someone but you shouldnt cause more pain to avoid feeling bad. Its not like its impossible to do it with tact, respect, and dignity. I know people may say no one owes you anything (which is a cop out) but i think we can say at minimum human respect and dignity is a must. It takes alot to put yourself out there and that should be recognized.

[@christaylor751]

Actions speak louder than words ..so true

[@SeagramPearce]

It doesn't matter how hot she is, if she suddenly wants to just be "friends", she's gone. I've got enough friends, thanks bye. Have some damn self respect gents. The right woman treats you like a king and that feeling is how this 'life' game is meant to be experienced. I literally had this experience this weekend past. After months of being physical and dating, I got a "we're just friends" line. I didn't even say another word, I got up and left.

[@ShadowNash108]

Big facts 💯, this is why nice guys get thrown in the friend zone

[@peterjames314]

Your reaction is priceless while watching that 😂

[@larryly3613]

Definitely experienced this myself. Sadly i didnt know this until recently. Wasted a lot of my time. Sometime people need to be honest with themselves and others. Sometimes, the uninterested party just need to be clear they are not interested.

[@slartibartfast2452]

As the PUA guys used to say back in the day. You are not chasing the yes. You are chasing the no. The no lets you forget her and move on.

[@PyMoondra]

That's interesting =)

[@bobtrades]

She does have a great point

[@armanddefrank7984]

The debate about the friend zone continues unabated, but it always comes down to one thing, it's the mens fault always, never the women's lack of accountability

[@valder8423]

for real.

[@Hannib4lBarca]

It is in this case though. Men put themselves in the friendzone. Walk away bro!

[@michellesmith7363]

Maybe she actually genuinely thinks they are friends. Not every woman is evil and manipulative.

[@armanddefrank7984]

@@michellesmith7363 going to agree to disagree, I wouldn't give any of them the benefit of the doubt

[@michellesmith7363]

@@armanddefrank7984 I’m sorry you have had bad experiences.

[@joshuaholliday648]

Thank you for all that you do🙏🏾Your channel really does help a lot!

[@frankleebeatsproductions]

I had friend girls when I was 18 and at least we learned from each other so in some ways it's good to make friendship with girls. Now I'm 27 and very hard to find a Woman for me and more harder to find friends.

[@supernotnatural]

Courtney, you were the great resource for me in my worst day. I had to cut off a very long good female friend that I knew since I was like child, not because I couldn't stay, it was because I couldn't find the next. I wasn't strong enough. I've found my limit. "A good man does the right thing when it's not pleasant". Courtney's video "If they are good friends, they will understand you" was great advice in my darkest moments. I grieved about their friendship. That was in 2020. Years past since then, I found another woman who I love to hang out etc. So easy. And I found out that good friend married to. I remember her like a sister now, I had courage to message her last month. Didn't expect a return but she was excited to hear and I'm gonna meet with both with her and her husband. I just turned 30 last month. At this point in your life, you more care about deep friendships, people who care you for real because you know you can't make NEW OLD FRIENDS.

[@MusicLvr81281]

I give up. Every women who shows me high interest loses it the second I ask them out. It's a cruel game nowadays especially if you are a decent person.

[@MrHDProd]

Maybe your approach is fked up 🤔

[@MusicLvr81281]

@MrHDProd I literally just went up to yhe most recent one saying I think she's pretty and I'd like to get to know her better to which she said thanks but no. And this is after a week of her staring at me with her friend and constantly trying to "bump into me" when im leaving the gym. And after initiating convo

[@deallan123]

Just respawn as Chad, bro!

[@theadmiral4625]

Harsh but necessary truths!! And Courtney is spot on: I’m talking to someone. She’s going thru a bad break up, but she hearts my DMs and mirrors me. I’m not rushing her, and she’s already described me to others when asked “Who will you date next?” ….. her instant answers were, “Someone older. And if you can’t make me laugh no chance…” then DMs me thanking me for my support and being so funny. Communication, understanding, patience, growth, maturity…we’re on the same page, so we’re going slowly chapter by chapter✌🥰✌