BEST Dating Advice For Introverts- Dealing With Pressure, Picking A Date Spot & MORE | Courtney Ryan

[@mikelavigne1370]

Being an introvert as a man comes with its own unique challenges; we are expected to pursue a woman and I feel like most women see it as unbearable if they are not entertained by a man constantly.

[@wwijsman]

I found some great skills to work on to deal with this are story telling and leading a conversation. Also try to read her. If you're sitting at a cofee shop and she is starting to look a bit bored or you start feeling bored, ask her if she'd like to get up and go for a walk.

[@simontmn]

I agree; when dating this tended to lead me to more extroverted women, as they tend to be more willing to suggest stuff to do - always taking the lead gets exhausting! But then being with an extrovert who usually wants to go out & party is challenging too...

[@alexfowler9785]

@@barongerhardt Good point. Some of my best conversations with people in general, and women have come from just letting them talk. Then bouncing off of what they've said. Of course I partake in sharing as well, but it's easier to converse when you don't have to do all the talking.

[@johnpearson3616]

@@barongerhardt that's a new but interesting perspective. 🤔 I've never thought about it that way. Thanks for the tip.

[@barongerhardt]

@@johnpearson3616 I don't know which post you are replying too, but sometimes you are a leader and sometimes you are a follower. Most learn both from childhood, but too many are taught that we should only be one or the other. The best people I know are great at either roll and when needed, switch for the situation.

[@gebrazer]

It was a Dr Phil quote that really turned my thought process around as an introvert. You wouldn’t worry about what people think of you so much if you knew how seldom they did.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Love this!

[@trevorfrayne6418]

That's a big point. I had an anxiety attack at work back in March. I was leading a team and felt like everyone was coming at me. I literally walked out of the building and drove home. This was about 4 months after my Dad passing. So a lot going on. I message my supervisor about it and he informed me that the assistant plant manager already said to let him use vacation pay for the rest of the day. I was informed when I came in the next day that I would no longer be leading the team. I already gave the notice to step down and it wasn't something I wanted to do. I was so scared to go back to work. Here is the big aha moment. Every person but one, was supportive of me coming back to work. They gave me space to just work and not to lead. Everyone was pretty understanding. Another big aha moment, when I apologize about weeks later, people were already like, don't worry about it. It was like it never happened. So really that Dr Phil quote hits home. Most people aren't thinking about you. They forget your mistakes. I know that's a little off topic.

[@gbug5207]

that is an eleanor roosevelt quote

[@gebrazer]

@@gbug5207 look at you. Sooo big you are! Well done Karen.

[@robstacey09]

@@gebrazer what’s wrong with just saying, I didn’t know that thanks for pointing that out?

[@aoht06]

I respect Courtney’s perspective on this since she’s introverted, but there is a HUGE difference in how it impacts men and women in dating given their expected roles in the process The man is expected to lead the entire interaction on a date so if you’re introverted or less social it’s really going to hinder your ability to have successful dates. An attractive women like Courtney can be introverted and have no issues dating since it’s the mans job to lead and make her comfortable anyway.

[@mikelavigne1370]

Yes, absolutely this.

[@bretgalloway1686]

100% agree.

[@TomFox1]

haha f u because u are right! 🙏 But we can still be successfully in the dates..

[@initiatorhater0688]

ya and it reminds me that this gender dynamic will never change and it pisses me off even more that us guys, men, are expected to enjoy and embrace taking the lead, us guys are not supposed to view it as a chore or burden, i don't know why we are supposed to embrace that.

[@tomaszsosnowski9279]

Miss Courtney could have Asperger syndrome, or something similar, and with her appearance would have totally zero problems in the meat market.

[@Mark-Joyce]

It all comes down to 1) Exposure - taking the leap into actually going on dates 2) Rejection - Getting used to being turned down, especially when you like the girl 3) Repetition - like a comedian on the stage, after a while you will start to become comfortable even though everything you say doesn't come off

[@CourtneyRyan]

Love this!

[@playlistiphone8743]

I agree with all of that. It's the same for extroverts.

[@felipemontoyaalvarez1340]

Exactly as u say

[@benravenwood8535]

Slay

[@skiboo1821]

@@playlistiphone8743 I agree but not the first topic tho. Because extroverts usually have a lot of exposure to people

[@rlp4028]

I'm glad you brought up ambiverts. I could spend months at a time by myself. I'm not a party person or a big time socializer. However, when I do go out into the world, I'm comfortable talking to any and everyone. I'm under the delusion that I'm charming and funny.😁

[@SS-jl9ns]

Lol same

[@thehungerbear6102]

that describes me perfectly.

[@para_bellum_1984]

Yup #metoo

[@jks211]

How is that ambiverted? That just sounds like a lazy extrovert...

[@rlp4028]

@@jks211 I don't think a lazy extrovert can go months with no one but themselves and be happy

[@shamimbakhshi7217]

"Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed." - Kratos, The God Of War

[@discouraged-author]

U excited for GOW ragnarok??

[@KingSB187]

@@discouraged-author YEAHHH BUDDY or should I say YEAHHH BOY!

[@robertoriverajr4439]

The ultimate advice!

[@rebelpoxy]

@@KingSB187 our boii Atreus/Loki is becoming a man though

[@Keyon_Wilson]

@@KingSB187 * Boi

[@marksandoval5361]

I'm an introvert and somewhat socially awkward but I never let that stop me from approaching. I would just walk up to someone I wanted to meet and stumble and bumble my way through introducing myself and starting up a conversation. Sometimes it fell flat and sometimes it didn't. Most women seemed to understand that introductions are always a little awkward and that they were also nervous and they were pretty forgiving. Shoot your shot. You can't win if you don't play.

[@TomFox1]

True. It takes a lot of courage to approach a man or women. So while you’re nervous af, she probably feeling the same inside but not shown.

[@earthbear6313]

3:20 1.) Accept it and be yourself 6:37 2.) Stop it with the pressure 8:59 3.) Pick a good date spot 10:16 *Bonus Tip dress like yourself and wear something that makes you feel confident 11.14 4.) Take care of yourself Be yourself and show the best version of yourself. Tips I have are to communicate how you like to communicate. For example I dated someone who only texted rarely on some days not at all. If you have dates lined up you might not notice which is why I only try to court one person at a time now. Use your introversion to decide if you are being yourself and if the other person brings out the best in you.

[@levida7260]

Thanks

[@MarkoDujlovic]

"For example I dated someone who only texted rarely on some days not at all" Right now Im dating girl like this and I have no idea if she is into me or not. We were on 2 dates and we talked alot, we had good time with each other. But when it comes to texting she is not online that much. I would say one day that she is not into me and I should move on and then when she text me back I got feeling that she is into me. So confusing. HA!

[@jconnor1zzzzz]

As a quiet af introvert working on getting more confident I really appreciate this. Especially the being yourself part and comfortable with who you are. Reminds me of the quote from planes and automobiles "Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."

[@duncanmcauley7932]

This is underrated, you quoted a fantastic line from a great movie. I wonder how many viewers here have never heard of planes, trains, and automobiles 🤔

[@rlp4028]

I would say introverts know themselves better than extroverts. You know your strengths and weaknesses. You are also more likely to know what you want in a partner. You are not looking for someone to complete you because you know you are already complete.

[@thomasbalsor8684]

That could be true for some introverts, but as an extrovert I’d argue that’s not true in every case. Whether you’re extroverted or introverted you need to keep growing as a person and know your own value and what you bring to the table, without the need for external validation. Takes time for all of us haha

[@rlp4028]

@@thomasbalsor8684 Yeah, not true in all cases

[@grondhero]

I think a lot of guys find a beautiful woman being introverted as an oddity, because that's exactly who they/we think is always the most popular. We often forget that everyone can have insecurities or just being uncomfortable around too many others. Even when you overcome your insecurities, you can still be comfortable alone or in small groups. :) Heck, I love my family and enjoy spending time with different parts of my family, but if we get into groups of 10 or more, I'm either sticking with one or two people or going off to my own area.

[@joeygardunio9792]

From one introvert to another I highly recommend the book "Quiet" by Susan Cain. Great read that shines a lot of what I really means to be introverted and how to succeed as one.

[@charlessteadjr1839]

We all have stories to tell. The delivery of a story is as important if not more important than the story itself. I had a woman asking me to tell her stories . The attention I would receive when putting emotion into a story is unforgettable. Her eyes would literally light up.

[@josealvarado8842]

I'm an Introvert by default and anyone reading this that is an Introvert as well, just keep in mind that you're way more attractive to others than you think because of the way we are perceived. I used to get judged a lot because I didn't like going to parties or being in huge crowds. I was more of Concert/Music Festival person and I Love going to Tea Houses as well. People secretly talked behind my back because they were haters who wish they they were me. I also experienced social anxiety because I was around people or places that I wasn't comfortable with due to the fact they didn't bring me any peace. Yes, I am an Introvert. I'm not shy. I'm a noticer. I am a thinker. I'm an observer. I'm not stuck up. I'm not anti-social. I treasure my solitude. I'm not a fan of small talk. I prefer a few close friends. I am reserved, until I'm not. I appreciate true connection. If we connect, you matter to me. "Silence is a source of great strength." -Lao Tzu "Solitude has it's own very strange beauty to it." -Liv Tyler We Introverts have to stick together!, I pray for everyone to have a wonderful day and evening full of great blessings. Courtney, thanks for doing yet another great video for the people who really need it because nobody hardly ever talks about Introverts and few that are in Power barley represent us. Much Love, Respect, Light, and Gratitude to You and your partner Teddy from this Plant Based guy from Southern California ❤🙏💯👏👑🌱

[@Luemm3l]

Love this, can also especially relate on the one side not liking to go out in parties, but being perfectly fine in a crowd of strangers at a music festival! I just feel the judgement is not there and the vibe is much more friendly in general. In clubs, everyone is on his/her supposed best, men may even start shit with others just to prove how "alpha" they are, whereas on a festival, you usually offer a beer or fistbump with someone in the crowd for no reason, it is much more laid back, accepting, open, inviting, I feel safe there, whereas in crowded cities or clubs, I kinda feel not. Does that make any sense? What I also tried recently as some sort of joke was wearing a Introvert joke t-shirt to a party I was invited to. People asked me if I was a introvert since apparently some of them did not notice it before. Is also telling in how we perceive ourselves vs how we are perceived by others.

[@gabrielguzman6018]

People talked bad behind my back to how did you avoid it and made it into a positive?

[@gh0rochi363]

Thank you. I always see “introverts” online act as if an introvert is just a cowardly creature who can’t interact no matter what. You said it best man.

[@stefmac]

This was beautiful wtf. Well said

[@carytigani9859]

I've never heard the term ambivert but I guess that's been me this whole time, I just lean more to the introverted side. My overthinking and worrying definitely affects my dating game. It's why I get really nervous approaching women. I always think that they'll just find me boring because I'm not always going out every weekend or that my day to day life is not that exciting. It's nice to know that there are women out there who would appreciate it.

[@chrialivest]

Interesting points. As an introvert, I can relate to what you said. One of the things that has helped me is to put myself out there again and again. I used to make the first date into a big deal. Now, after having experienced numerous first dates, I see the first date as a stepping stone. However, it took me a lot of first dates to get to this point.

[@michelguevara9889]

I’m an introvert. And just two days before my first date and Courtney save my day while publishing this video. Thank you Courtney. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻😃😃

[@CourtneyRyan]

So happy to hear it! It’s my pleasure 😇

[@jleano609]

Good luck! Keep it light and funny and play it cool!

[@ryanhughes9397]

I’ve always been super introverted and very to myself for years. Haven’t been on a date since 16 and I’m now 22 in college, and extremely dedicated to my purpose and don’t think I will realistically date for finding a partner for years to come. One thing I do to maintain a little bit of social skills though is attend study groups because at least there is some interaction with the opposite sex even though I may not be romantically interested in that person. However, I feel that could be a great way for some people to start instead of a date to get more comfortable with interaction because you absolutely have things to discuss then.

[@playlistiphone8743]

I think what's missing from all these dating coaches is that they fail to tell you that dating is a skill unrelated to your personality/behavior type. For some reason, people (not just males) think that being introvert is some sorta handicap with the dating game. Trust and believe that being extrovert doesn't make it easier

[@ryanhughes9397]

@@playlistiphone8743 I think there has been an immense amount of marketing suggesting that the game is extremely complex in an effort to convince you that you need the coach’s knowledge. This is to ultimately sell you a product. But I don’t disagree, I think introverts and extroverts can face similar challenges.

[@playlistiphone8743]

@@ryanhughes9397 I don't think it's complex. Man-to-man Ryan, I think a lot of men don't want to accept certain truths and keep doing the same thing and expect different results. When they're not getting it. they play the (insert whatever excuse you have here) card. As far as selling you a product, how is that any different than a personal trainer or a travel agent? I suppose I can do my taxes myself but i end up hiring a qualified, experienced professional to guide me through the process until I am confident to do it on my own. Why should dating be any different? It's a skill. I can go on and on but I'll digress

[@ryanhughes9397]

@@playlistiphone8743 I understand what you’re saying, but travel agents and personal trainers market in a similar fashion. They convince you that it is beneficial to have their product and service, despite the fact that rarely the truth is sold. People don’t learn how to fish, rather fish are caught and given to them with many services. Granted, there are many cases where advise is needed, no question and they are necessary. But simple truths can’t be sold because the truth rarely makes money, particularly in fields where people want something now. It doesn’t make headlines. It’s not sexy, trendy, or cool. This goes for many things, but fitness is a prime example as you point out. The whole industry is practically a con with supplements, “magical” training techniques, etc. because that’s what sells and creates viewership. I will also tell you the average personal trainer is completely unqualified to touch anyone with a 10 foot pole, let alone someone who is an athlete with sport specific goals. And this is coming from someone who is a kinesiology major so it pains me to say that. Not to say there aren’t some exceptions to that rule because there are. Anyway, that comment I made about the coaching was a side note, but coming over to the point I think dating is a skill as you say.

[@playlistiphone8743]

Ryan Hughes I'm gonna go back to your original comment and I see the sentiment is shared by others who commented as well. What I don't like about the title/topic of the video is that the content creator is making it sound like there is a different set of standards and criteria for introverts when it comes to dating and that couldn't be further from the truth. It's a challenge for just about every man unless you have the skill and put yourself out there to apply it. Being extrovert doesn't make it easier. You know why Bill Cosby had to drug women that he wanted sex from? Because he doesn't have the skill (game) to finesse the interaction consentially. We are talking about a very extroverted famous, rich, and influential man but apparently terrible with this. If you're in college and you have peers who date, does that make them less dedicated to their studies/goals/purpose than you?

[@xerfxpec5154]

One of the biggest challenges I've faced, is realizing that most people are attracted to extroverts. It is so often the case that I cant get a date unless I pretend to be extroverted. When girls realize I'm actually super quiet they loose interest.

[@florianfrommann1734]

So true

[@pierremercier4724]

Moral of this short story: As Courtney put it so aptly, accept who you are, always be yourself and show the best version of yourself. Pretending to be somebody you're not is a heavy weight to bear, especially if you're an introvert person. Personally, I'm a shy, introvert person with social anxiety and a huge lack of social skills. An happy winner cocktail! 🤣

[@randyhuey3094]

I tend to introduce humor to lighten the atmosphere, laughter is a great comfort to ease the anxiety and it can reveal a lot.

[@adrianorozco3318]

Know the experience. Being alone, rejected, outsiders/outcast. Some of certain things are rare that are to find. We know how to cherish things of what things are and know to find them. Thanks for the tips Courtney.

[@rickpicone9751]

That would be me. An introvert. Hate being in crowds or crowded places, but if someone says hi, I have no problem chatting with them. I do spend most of my time alone, or out fishing.

[@simontmn]

Hi Courtney. I like how you emphasise how being introverted is not the same as being shy or having social anxiety, even though they tend to correlate. According to an Internet test I'm 90% introverted, and I have bad anxiety generally (I'm on citalopram), but for me social anxiety is very context dependent. I didn't get it much when I was doing online dating and arranging real life dates, and I don't really get it in my professional life as an academic giving lectures etc. I love hosting friends at my place. The idea of going out to a party with strangers, or traveling to go to eg the theatre, a concert or comedy venue does make me very anxious though! :)

[@allenhammer7923]

Courtney introvert comes from two places one is fears of dealing with people that comes from being tormented by demons of fear and have bad times in the past that you remember, the other is a person who does not like the bulk of people and choose not to be around them much and are satisfied being alone more than most people do. THank you for being helpful, you always have good suggestions that reinforce security.

[@bens3117]

Well that explains why I like listening to you, I’m an introvert too.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Introverts unite!!

[@cancelled_user]

@@CourtneyRyan Another introvert here :) I agree it's better to be yourself and not fake anything BUT I'm not confident and that's just how I am by nature! If I try to act with confidence, that's fake. Yet every single dating coach says as a man I HAVE TO be confident, otherwise I won't get girls.

[@thecaffinatedbeard]

I’m lucky to have a group of friends who are incredibly understanding of how introverted I am, if I ever say I’m just not feeling up to something, or if I get drained and need to leave they’ve always been understanding. Get yourself good friends folks 🙏

[@gottrekk5798]

Great advices from Courtney. I would add that signing up for dancing classes is a great idea for introverts. Dance with her, cook for her and she's yours.

[@mav3ric100]

Love your content, but on this one there's a slight disconnect. Difference between an introverted Guy and Girl is the introverted Girl is not the one going out setting up dates or hitting on guys. Thus you can't really say you know how it feels in that aspect. But thanks for your content, always appreciated.

[@pviau90]

We’re all ambiverts to a degree, nobody is 100% introvert or 100% extrovert. I heard a great definition about which one you are. It’s basically where do you get your energy from and how do you recharge? Being alone or around people? Im am introvert but there’s times I like to go out and be around people. But there’s a point I reach where I say, ok, I’m ready to go home.

[@duncanmcauley7932]

Very true, labeling introverts and extroverts seems to be an oversimplification of what in reality is a much more complex range of behaviors in people. Most of us probably fall somewhere in between

[@brandonwilliams9560]

It doesn't have to be 100%.

[@sebswede9005]

What does ambivert and bisexual have in common? They both have "bi" in thier name.

[@lucianwong420]

I want to go home as soon as possible to recharge, I don’t really want to stay long around people. I am much more comfortable at home.

[@JMGENTERPRISES]

I dated an introvert once. She was very nice but VERY quiet. We lasted a couple years in our relationship. But in the end, I just could not take being with someone who could not openly share their thoughts, feelings, opinions, fears, hopes, dreams etc. It was very lonely for me in that relationship as I was raised to be very open verbally but she was raised the complete opposite. Many times, it was emotionally draining being with her. Never had I been in a relationship but still felt alone. Sad thing was, when her and I would drink alcohol, her wall would come down and she would be extroverted. I would see this amazing side to her free from the childhood trauma that made her such an introvert. But once the alcohol's effect wore off, she would return to being extremely quiet. If only she could have held onto that freedom the alcohol gave her, our relationship would have lasted. But in the end, I cannot be with someone who needs alcohol to communicate effectively.

[@danadane2501]

To answer your question at the end . I recharge doing my passions on my own time ( takes a while ) . Also , constantly reminding myself don't expect much out of anyone . Because everyone is gonna experiences some type of rejection . This makes it ineffectual in preventing me from moving forward . Have to start somewhere .

[@menumlor9365]

3:45 Courtney I feel you on that. This girl I’m talking to says similar things to me. “You’re so boring” and so on and so forth. 5yrs prior to that I found out through a personality test I’m an introverted person. Took it upon myself (couple years) to study and learn more about myself. Little did I know this is where I was beginning to learn to accept myself, especially through dating.

[@tehmoldi5915]

A video on anxiety would be great for a lot of people. I recently had to see my doctor about it, and depression. I was prescribed an SSRI, and it has been a life changer. Helped me reflect, open up, and start to heal.

[@josesantana770]

Keep in mind she is providing the viewers with life guidance and in order to discuss mental health related topics is more appropriate to follow a professional. Serotonin re-up take inhibitors (a very common psychotropic meds) are also effective for obsessive thoughts that might cause anxiety spells. Introvertion describes a personality type and is not to be confused with a mental health diagnosis; Anti social personality or avoidance Personality.

[@tehmoldi5915]

@@josesantana770 I was referring to the part where Courtney asked if we wanted a video on anxiety. I don't think you've added anything useful to my comment, considering I referenced seeing my doctor about my anxiety.

[@josesantana770]

@@tehmoldi5915 thank you

[@chrisbatchelor864]

Thanks for the topic, Courtney. Especially liked when you talked about other people negatively judging you for who you are. It's taken me years to accept myself and understanding introversion.

[@HussainHayki]

I'm an introvert whos been going to college parties and nightclubs for the past year. I've noticed recently that I've been forcing myself to go out just to meet girls. I've recently accepted that this lifestyle isn't for me since I'm very introverted and rather be at home alone.

[@djnary2896]

Kudos to bringing up ambiverts. I don't believe that most people are either completely introverted or extroverted. Humans are more complicated than that and are some combination of the two. Kudos also to being true to yourself. The right person for you will NOT shame you for who you really are. On the contrary...s/he will LOVE you for it!!

[@radicalraz]

What recommendation do you have for somebody who avoids asking a woman out due to a lack of understanding of how to start a conversation? I can talk for hours once the conversation gets started, but I never know how to successfully start one. Also, I've been told to start off with a compliment even if it's not sincere. Personally, I don't want to start a potential relationship out on a lie, so I refuse to do so.

[@worshipgod4ever196]

I'm 25 and I've never gone past a first date in my life. I don't pretend to be extroverted because I like who I am, also because I never want to attract people who don't like introverts. Yet, I attract them. They would always tell me that I am boring or lame just because I hate partying all the time. Without going into much details, after the last worst date I have had a few years back, I just gave up on dating now, it's a waste of my time. If something very unexpected were to happen in the future, I not gonna be completely against it, but to actively try to date or go after a woman I normally would be attracted to is off the table for me now.. I'm at peace alone anyways LOL! Good luck to you all my fellow introverts!!!

[@jpballer100]

This is actually pretty interesting, as I never realized an 'ambivert' was a thing. I'm absolutely an introvert and love my down/alone time, in fact I need it. Though I'm also a personal trainer, which requires some cold-approaching, talking to and getting to know lots of people, being personable, teaching gym classes etc. I was never able to explain to people I dated how I'm able to do that job when outside of it they saw that I'm not particularly social, keep a very small social circle and just generally keep myself to myself. The advice about being yourself is really good and probably key. Pretending to be someone else is exhausting, nothing wrong with being an introvert! Oftentimes the people I date/attract are usually opposite of that and you can compliment each other well.

[@ignas.c]

I would like to share some of my experience as an introvert, what helps me a lot: Keep low expectations - this removes the pressure of needing to try hard to meet those expectations and this also let's me focus more on listening to the person, rather than thinking hard, how to reach what I expect. Both need to contribute - this is a big one. If another person is not contributing to social interaction (not asking questions, not interested, short answers etc), then I quickly run out of things to talk about. But if another person equaly participates - conversations flow naturally. You can be the best social butterfly, but if another person is not doing anything, then you won't get anywhere with that person. Common interests - goes together with the above one of both contributing to meeting. If you have things in common with a person and you both commit to having discussions, then it's just magical. You end up having too many topics to talk about, instead of struggling to come up with topics. :)

[@randylaxson1103]

Courtney, I’ve been watching your videos for about 2 yrs. I appreciate your honesty and your calm demeanor/voice. Thanks for these videos it helps.

[@mikeg3439]

Fun fact: most people's favorite subject is themselves. Ask them questions about themselves and you can remain an introvert and most times they won't even notice in their enthusiasm to answer questions about themselves. Now here is the trick: when you find the one who notices that it has all been about them, and they then want to turn it around and find out about you, they might be a quality person to be around. Many are like that, not terribly hard to find.

[@chriskeel6367]

Been a introvert all my life . I have always made friends every place I have gone . As time has moved on my peace comes from my alone time . You begin to have that peace as you make peace with who you really are. You may find being that way takes you through some interesting life experiences , places no else has been that gives you peace also which can help others too .

[@raularmas317]

Dear Ms Ryan, Thank you very much for expressing the idea that being one's most authentic self is the most important thing in forming a lasting relationship. You do everyone who hears you say this a great public service as well.

[@foreignlovedreams]

When I realized that I love an introvert, I researched extensively to know more about them. That made it easy to understand loners, and it helped me avoid getting hurt whenever my partner seemed like they were not interested in me.

[@simranthiara8233]

Very true, as an introvert I absolutely dislike going on dinner dates. On my most recent date we got sushi to-go and relaxed at a nearby park and that turned out to be a very fun time.

[@KNGexp]

I am 61% Introverted down 2% from last year. It so so difficult to make female companions. I have tremendous self-restraint & have fears of bothering someone, making someone uncomfortable which may make me feel guilt & burden. I think more carefully before what I say or do. It is the fear of not exactly rejection but, failure. It gets personal when I take time analyzing & studying to have it fail. I wish women had more patience because similar to a turtle, I am hard on the outside but soft on the inside.

[@TheUnik1992]

Now everyting makes sense. introvert person 100%, a lot a time with myself, and my thoughts. Thinking and double thinking everything. Hangout with a few people, persons that somehow are like brother and sister due to relations with 20+ years. However today was a great day, especially given the event that happened at the end of the day. Without any kind of preparation and totally unexpected something happened that I wasn't expecting. The woman I like and works at the same company after we left work we ended up leaving together. The first time I heard her say "Let's go out" it felt surreal. We ended up spending a lot of time together first at a small dinner and then we took advantage of their taste for snnoker to play a few games in a small cafe. At the end of the "date" I could see that she enjoyed the time we spent together. Thank you Courtney for all the advice and tips, I know I still have a long way to go but this makes everything easier. PS: Sorry for the big text

[@joesmith-th3jq]

So if you’re an introvert guy, how do we approach a girl and what do we say whether it’s in the market, gym, park, or in the street? Also, you mentioned you used to have social anxiety. I think you should do a video on this next and if you could also give us some tips now and what steps to take to alleviate it.

[@07wrxtr1]

Joe - you just use something neutral and then if she takes it n runs with it you're good; If she's asking you questions you're good... Grocery store Game!

[@aoht06]

This question highlights the difference for an introverted man and an introverted woman like Courtney when it comes to dating. The man is expected to make the approach and lead the entire interaction in the date. As a man Being less social or an introvert can really hinder your dating experience. Doesn’t matter as much for women since the man is supposed to lead the social interaction anyway

[@playlistiphone8743]

07wrxtr1 Exactly! But that's good advice for everyone. I don't know why introverts believe there is some other special approach designed just for them to make it easier in the dating game

[@07wrxtr1]

@@playlistiphone8743 The only problem is when you get women talking to you that you DO not want to deal with... Non verbal communication is just lacking in general in both camps.

[@playlistiphone8743]

@@07wrxtr1 So you can imagine what high demand women have to go through. I don't care how handsome a guy is, they won't get nearly as much unwanted attention than a slightly above average female.

[@Pokeninja7]

As someone who is an introvert, i agree with pretty much this entire vid. I don't have social anxiety, but i think im slowly mastering the importance of silence and solidarity.

[@claytoncrawford]

Dear Courtney Ryan.... I thoroughly enjoy connecting with this show and listening to your comments.... Always in Good Taste.... CHEERS!.... Courtney is so cool

[@myroadtours6147]

INFP and great video! Where do I even start. I actually went on a date last night with a young lady who was very animated and extroverted. It was fun and I enjoyed our conversations etc but she was worried afterwards if things went well or not. She noticed I sorta slowed down and got calm etc. I assured her it had nothing to do with her, I tried explaining my personality type but it didn't go over well. Being introverted doesn't equate to non-success either. Its exactly what Courtney states in this video, we just have a different skill set. I'm very successful and intelligent. I don't think these things are rooted in any particular personality type though. I really think its just comes down to the skill sets one learns. Picking a good date spot is key, being the guy in the relationship is a major advantage when it comes to being an introvert and dating in my opinion. Women want a guy who takes charge and plans dates, so its perfect. This gives me the opportunity to choose a place that best fits my personality or mood. I've been doing this for over a year and have had positive results from it. Now this isn't completely one sided either, I want her to be comfortable and have an enjoyable time as well. So I ask about her taste in food and places she likes so that I can best select something for us both. The problem for me is going about meeting women. Online/Apps are annoying but kinda work okay in my situation. I've never been the kinda guy to pickup women in bars or clubs. Every serious relationship I've ever had was from random encounters. I'm far from shy, I'm a confident older guy, I'll talk to random people. It trips my son out, he's like you don't know a stranger. Odd being introverted but what can I say. Bars/clubs on the other hand, I'll talk to anyone but I just feel like its cheesy coming on to a women under those circumstances. Kinda creepy to me. I'm weird, I know. So this really reduces opportunities. COVID hasn't helped either with people cutting back on going out to traditional places, shopping etc. At least with online/apps I can message people some and sometimes get something going.

[@adambusenlehner3689]

I'm so glad Courtney doesn't end her videos by saying "Peace Out".

[@gh0rochi363]

I’m an introvert. That never stopped me. Don’t make excuses ladies and gentlemen it only holds you back.

[@Courtj89]

From one Courtney to another. I can relate. Im an introvert and I love being alone. Especially as I spend most of my time helping people, as I work in I.T. Thank you Courtney for this video.

[@richardmercado7264]

Courtney I have to say... this is the best video you posted in a while... I thought your date suggestions were great... a flea market, museum or farmers market etc. Those are great ideas for sure!

[@peterbriand5225]

Thanks Courtney! I’m introverted and just found your channel while researching for new shoes. Love the content and now subscribed.

[@frankkuper9861]

Only Courtney can make such a helpful video that can relate to so much people. I am sure she has a true and authentic desire to help as many people as possible. Huge respect and thank you.

[@lifestoryguy]

Speaking as a very introverted person, the key to enjoying the process of dating for me came when I realised that I didn't have to pretend to be an outgoing extravert to attract a woman. Instead, I could just enjoy the things I like about dating like truly listening to the woman in front of me and having an emotionally rich conversation with her about her feelings and learning from her while cracking the odd joke, making a move on her if she seemed receptive and, of course, revealing aspects of my true self to her so that she gets an idea of the kind of man I am and whether my values, personality and interests are attractive to her as a whole and would lead to a lifestyle she'd value. I also think more generally it's worth having some kind of philosophy or broad perspective for your dating life, too. For example, if a woman decides not to date me after one or two dates, I see that not as a total rejection of me as a person, but simply as part of the dating process. You know, just like getting wet if you are caught out in the rain is inevitable and simply a part of life. I was in their life briefly as a fellow traveller on their journey towards the kind of man that would make them happy. So, I wouldn't try to convince any woman to continue to date me if she has decided not to because I believe if her intuition is telling her I'm not the right fit for her then she's probably right. I mean she's not going to be convinced by logical argument to date me anyway because the heart wants what the heart wants. Besides which, why would I want to date a woman that's not sure whether she even wants to date me? I could be with a woman that would appreciate my strange quirky outlook on life. I also realised many years ago that I have to display certain aspects of my personality very early on so as not to give a woman the wrong impression. In other words, my love for deep conversations needed to also be balanced by my need for a bit of whimsy and wonder in life. I have a need to tweak the nose of mundane reality. It means on a date I will do unusual things like skip along a street with a woman, pull out a bubble stick and blow bubbles around her and even tell her fairy tales or recite poems because well that's an important part of who I am. I just need to interject a bit of whimsy and wonder into ordinary life to counteract practical things like investing in the stock market and dealing with issues related to my tenants. It's also why I set up community projects and even engage in different kinds of artistic expression. I just find some aspects of life dull and need to interject a bit of magic back into it.

[@ericv5435]

I'm definitely an introvert but technically an ambivert. Sometimes if I'm out with people I'm not used to being around I'm shy, however if we're at a restaurant/bar I would definitely want to drink to get drunk enough to be fun. If I'm around people I know well or spend a lot of time around, then I can be myself no problem now. I'm also way more comfortable being in a group of friends than I would if I was just hanging out with 1 friend.

[@vapeking466]

I think the only one an introvert will truly be happy with is a introvert the issue with that is finding one willing to take a chance! 💯

[@arterisdewberry9467]

Finally something that doesn't involves looks or social media! Now we get to into some real advices! As a proud introvert with no friends but also want a girlfriend, I want to hear these kind of advices that only it's about me. Not for anyone else! This is the best video that Courtney posted by far!

[@reithreithreith]

I'm highly introverted, I love my solitude, I love being alone, and I function best when I'm alone, but I don't necessarily lack social skills, I even have this notorious reputation of being a womanizer, it's not that I am, it's just that people know I'm good with words and I have this different charm and charisma, and also I only prefer talking to people if I have a reason to talk to them or if they're highly effective and highly successful individuals. I only hang out with people who are really close to me, and I don't like going to crowded places so most of the parties are always held at my house. I rarely party because my definition is fun is way different, I don't want to force myself into thinking that the common way of having fun should be fun for me as well. For me working on plans and visions are the very definition of fun. That's why in social gatherings once I enter the room everyone stares at me I don't stare back at anybody but the most powerful person in the room or the host. And most of the time I just love to sit at the corner, but despite that, It still seems like I'm in the spotlight, maybe they're intrigued idk. I just have this huge dilemma in dating, I feel like a relationship can really get in the way of ambitions, especially if you get the wrong one, because even just by thinking about finding your ideal, and then finding out if that person is the right one for you, already sounds too much and too taxing.

[@quavehiphop9152]

From one introvert to another thank you this was so helpful.

[@palambrus9504]

Hi Courtney, I was watching your videos for about 4 months now and this one was the last inch which made me say thank you for your caring work here. Thank you Courtney! ❤

[@Jose-rc3dl]

You have no idea how much this video helps us awkward introverted guys out, thank you!

[@alexyoung6533]

5:52 They do, should also try to work on embracing themselves being around in social settings inorder to be more effective around people, by all means be themselves but still have an opportunity to find soft spots in attracting the right kind of people that could've blend well with. Hope this advise would really workout for many of the lot 💪

[@davidbigd9047]

I’ve experienced very recently someone who told me they “used to be” an introvert and cured themselves of it. It seems a lot of people tend to believe it’s just an excuse for your actions or decisions when it’s something you just can’t cure or get over completely. Certainly, you can practice becoming more comfortable going out, and, that’s it. I’ve definitely figured out I’m an introvert about 6yrs ago and I’m proud and comfortable with myself.

[@jbandt]

Just found this channel recently. Lots of interesting viewpoints. This video is my favorite so far. Being an introvert does have its challenges especially in the teens and twenties, but one I realized that my life is what I made it, everything became much simpler.

[@caboodlebricks6930]

Starting a youtube channel helped me get over being an introvert

[@paulbradshaw8878]

THE BEST ADVICE BY AN INTROVERT , TO OTHER INTROVERTS IS TO ENJOY YOURSELF AND THE TRUE FREEDOM TO MAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT HAVING TO ASK ANOTHER PERSONS PERMISSION , OR BEING HELD HOSTAGE TO OTHERS EXPECTATIONS. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT , NOT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE MAKES IT FOR YOU. DO YOU COMPREHEND !!!!!!! .

[@adnang21]

Just what I needed, you always pick the perfect time to post lol Although I have a random question, do you think taste in music can be a turn off and tell a lot about someone?

[@CourtneyRyan]

Happy to hear it! And hmm I think it depends on the person. Music taste really doesn’t matter to me but that’s just me! Lol

[@simontmn]

My last girlfriend I was definitely impressed that she liked country music, since here in London England that's a sign of an independent thinker. Whereas the girl who was into Muse and I'd never heard of them, we had one date. :)

[@geo_neo9]

This video is for me. Im so introverted I stay in a lot I don't have friends to go out n meet its so hard for me. I am naturally an ambivert just ive been isolated for 8 years I'm more introverted now due to. I do have money now so I can go out but no friends. That's because I've woken up consciously im very aware full of secret vast deep deep knowledge I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I should say most people's. So even harder for me. Guess who ever is meant for me can never be stopped. Just gotta be patient and surrender to what's meant.

[@BobBob-vx4ck]

It's also worth exploring the difference between being an introvert and not being properly socialized as a child.

[@jeffgagen3561]

Courtney, watching your video you're give me so much help. Being a introvert myself with great people on here like you I follow I am now taking the next step to open up enough to meet a great lady, I know is out there.

[@McGup]

One cannot be boring if they are never bored. If they are satisfied with what activities they do then they will never be bored, thus not boring.

[@b5bus]

I am actually slightly extroverted, but I always thought I was introverted. It was a real surprise to me when my friends and family said I was extroverted when asked. My DNA traits also say I am extroverted. I still love to watch all your videos mainly due to the fact I still feel introverted.

[@balham5606]

That’s true, i heard many girls love a guy who plan stuff. Good video Courtney. A video with teaching men fashion will hopefully happen.

[@danadane2501]

Thanks Ms Ryan , this is a huge help . Always been a huge introvert . Deleted my social media accounts ( namely Facebook ) and now it's time to venture off into the unknown . I'm a little nervous but it had to come to this eventually . Have a great day . P.S. I like you said " just be you " . I Don't know how to be anything else .

[@KingSchik]

I've been watching your videos lately and it's really helping me a lot. I wish I found you on KZbin earlier.Thanks Courtney.

[@David-lx4yb]

"Ambivert." I have never thought of that, but it's exactly me. Being introverted with my discussions about myself seems to make me a bit mysterious with people.

[@christopherparbs]

Hey Courtney, This was a great video and I had 2 questions I was hoping to get our thoughts on. 1. What are your thoughts on more introverts putting on there dating profiles that one is an introvert and 2. What are your thoughts on how important physical attraction is in any new bound relationship? And can that play a role in how much one likes someone else? 10/10 on this video and as always you're always very helpful.

[@simontmn]

Introverts are generally more compatible long term with other introverts, but it can be very hard for them to actually form a relationship in the first place! Common interests & hobbies can help to meet people, but it can be hard to take a next step. I think for both men and women I'd encourage them to try to be proactive and especially for women dealing with shyer guys, don't be afraid to make suggestions and signal your interest. And remember that guys don't tend to pick up on subtle hints! What you might think is a blatant come-on, a typical shy man is likely to interpret as a subtle hint of possible interest. >:)

[@phelikslarryvirtualenglish6151]

I knew you were an introvert your voice is so relaxing...

[@julianabraham1071]

This video is very appreciated it’s never a bad thing to re-learn things that can help people like us. Much appreciated

[@mattd8856]

I have to add that the 4 years I did find someone, I was being cheated on for the 4 years. I ignored it because she was my only chance for happiness which turned out to be a living hell. Well she left and it was the hardest thing I've been through Looking back I'm grateful it happened that way. Since then I've tried so many times and failed over and over. Now I cherish what I had when I was 16 and don't expect it to happen again.

[@davidwill7823]

I am an introvert but I actually liked going out in my younger years, in fact I managed really big clubs in my 20s as the point of contact with a massive social circle. I think people are confused into thinking introverts lack social skills, which is emotional intelligence not extrovert/introvert. I now work in public speaking and corporate negotiations, having introversion brings more value when I speak. But I would rather work creatively in my own thoughts than keep an unnecessary conversation going forever. When it comes to serious dating it’s a mixed bag, I am thoughtful so that’s a huge plus. But girls that demand 24/7 constant attention just don’t work, which may be for all people really.

[@alexisdeterala2655]

It's not attractive when someone is pretending 😌 . I'm showing who really I am even if I look weird or awkward for her . In the end , it's still up to her and it's not a big deal at all ☺️

[@bryonkielian225]

As an ambivert who’s heavy on the introvert side, I needed this🙌🏼🙌🏼!!! Just gotta tap into the extrovert side and talk to my gym crush to put this to use😂😂😂

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂👏🏼 love it

[@dannyt6008]

Let us know how it goes bro. Good luck !

[@jleano609]

Go do it!

[@osuk1]

Do not approach first. Speak when spoken to by a woman. Safety first in a gynocentric world. You may be falsely accused or be let off easy as creep. You are not wrong to mind your own business. Enjoy peace n tranquility while navigating this minefield.

[@jleano609]

@@osuk1 I encourage all men to follow this brilliant strategy and remove themselves from the dating pool - please do it and leave all the women to me!

[@lucasespinola4810]

Thank you for your help, it's good to get helpful information from a woman's perspective

[@good_to_be_gold8]

I myself never pressured myself into doing anything or being who I wasn’t. I have this alpha but gentle heart in me to understand myself as well as my surroundings.

[@ponokunishima1]

Great video, and good tips. I’m an introvert as well and I may have to watch this again and again. Plus, I never heard of Ambivert before, which I could be just that, because I have been working on my social skills over the years.

[@janpauledwarddedios5366]

Great topic and tips courtney. I'm an introvert and my last date was at a comic con. It was less anxiety inducing.

[@simontmn]

I bet comic con girl was pretty introverted too! :)

[@janpauledwarddedios5366]

@@simontmn I was the introvert. She was extrovert. I do meet introverts but time just passes since some of the intr6i met are shy as well.

[@simontmn]

@@janpauledwarddedios5366 I think most people who go to ComicCon and similar are introverts, even the cosplayers.

[@janpauledwarddedios5366]

@@simontmn I am one and she was too. It was a good conversation starter

[@wolfhawk1999]

Didn't know ambivert was a word, but I'm glad it is because that's definitely me. I can be very outgoing, confident and boisterous. I also love hanging with the boys on Saturday night. Afterwards, tho, I'm drained. And often I don't want to go out and really do things. I like being in my room watching KZbin videos. But, I also love talking to people, until I don't. I can jump up on a mic and speak off the cuff, but I also am nervous when I am in a place where I don't know people very well. Kind of a mix of the two

[@tommygunn6901]

Total introvert here! I used to go out with a group of friends for karaoke a couple times a week and when I couldn't go out or had to skip a night, one of them made me feel bad about it and used to guilt bomb. Well, suffice to say I'm not friends with them anymore just cause I called them out on their behavior. I'd love for you to do a vid on social anxiety 😊🙏

[@playlistiphone8743]

So you got on stage and sang to an audience but have social anxiety when it comes to making connections with women?

[@tommygunn6901]

@@playlistiphone8743 it used to be worse but I've gone through a great deal of therapy to overcome it. I used to find it extremely difficult to maintain relationships of all kinds.

[@playlistiphone8743]

Tommy Gunn What is the longest period of time that you held down a girlfriend relationship?

[@tommygunn6901]

@@playlistiphone8743 a few months. What I had to do was look within and ask myself what was it I was contributing and what to work on so that the next girl I am in a relationship with or lack thereof vetting out women that I don't think would be a good fit.

[@playlistiphone8743]

@@tommygunn6901 You said you had difficulty keeping any relationship. I can tell you right now regardless of how much a gal fits, there will be very tough times that will make you say bye-bye because it seems like this kind of thing isn't for you. Falling in love is great, no doubt but it will also be the most stressful relationship you'll ever be in and that's what a lot of people leave out. I can say the same for having children. Sure it's pure joy when the bundle arrives but it's also the most stress you'll ever have. It also seems like people who feel they have some sort of affliction (which it isn't) like being introvert want a very attractive woman to just magically be with them. Let me be the first to tell you that it's going to take work to attract and work to keep. Let me ask you this Tommy, are you a sports fan like the NFL or tennis or anything like that?

[@backpackingtony1779]

Anyone else hit the like button the moment the video loads? It's like you'll know this is a video you'll like right off the bat? I do!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Lol you’re awesome 😂👏🏼

[@backpackingtony1779]

@@CourtneyRyan nah. The credit goes to you and all you do for us. I’m just a follower. Hoping to share you advice and knowledge to my nephews when they grow up!

[@ramonlarson6806]

What's better? Wearing a hat or shaved head? Personally my hair is thinning and I'm trying to shave/use products to thicken it, but im not insanely comfortable with shaved head. I don't care at some points but sometimes it's like a distraction or feels like it's a main point of a person is their hair

[@jleano609]

Don’t try and cover it up, shave it and most importantly OWN IT! Women love a confident bald guy who gives that IDGAF about it vibe!

[@markmeyers2709]

As a Introvert I don't want to live with another person which means no marriage or cohabitating with a woman. Also maybe talking and/or being with a man/woman can only be like once or twice a week because I get tired of people. Also I have a busy life with working, interests, hobbies, self-improvement, etc.... Dating and relationships have gotten scary lately. You might ask why am I watching your videos. I watch your videos just in case I may meet a woman in the future that I can be with the ground rules that I have laid out above. Would a decent amount of women be open to this? I hope you see this to respond. Thanks Courtney for your video(s)!

[@simonyu8838]

I'd say the biggest issue for many introverted guys is being able to talk with women in order to try and get the date in the first place, in both the sense of physically approaching and striking up the conversation and being in a place with women to interact with, and that's generally something introverted women don't need to do. This may not apply to dating apps, but those have their own issues such as the severely lopsided gender ratio. All the stuff once I've met up with a woman has not been a big deal. All that time alone is great for looking up good spots with other fun things nearby if I wanted to extend it, all that time reading results in a wide array of topics I can have a conversation about. But that first step is a big deal. And I'd love a video about social anxiety, both how to deal with it as a person and how to interact with a woman (or anyone really, but especially women) with it. I've made the mistake of taking a socially anxious woman to a restaurant that was far more crowded and loud than I expected and know to try and not do that again and I've been informed that I may not be able to expect the same level of eye contact as from a woman without it but being more aware of that kind of thing ahead of time would be welcome by many.

[@myinternetmovie]

I need this channel as a podcast. It’s really content to listen to rather than watch.