9 Biggest Turn Ons For Women | Courtney Ryan

In this video I talk about some of the biggest turn ons for women! I did a video recently about the biggest turn offs so this one was highly requested. Be sure to subscribe if you haven't already and give it a thumbs up :) Hope you all enjoy!
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[@joshing_]

1. Confidence (be sure of yourself, do what you love) 2. Chivalry (be a gentleman) 3. Sense of humor (don't take yourself seriously) 4. Kindness (be respectful to everyone) 5. Compliments (give genuine, non-physical ones) 6. Be punctual (value other's time) 7. Cleanliness (self-care, take care of yourself and your living space) 8. Keeping your word (integrity) 9. Be vulnerable (this ties with confidence)

[@lawvip5890]

Or just get a lot of money and skip all of the above

[@Oozaru997]

@@lawvip5890 very original

[@Luke-qp6th]

Crazy how without number 1, it's really hard to do any of the other things..

[@Musika1220]

@@lawvip5890 cheap comment, really. Sure there are some gold diggers, but not all women are that way. You may have have all the money of the world and be ugly inside. Then, thanks but no thanks.

[@leeroyhustle]

Chivalry is dead and we all know who is responsible

[@simeonnikolovski7859]

Her voice is so calming

[@donatoiacovino6968]

And sincere

[@neilmadray6919]

Yeah

[@johnabercrombie46]

It really is.

[@Coneman3]

Probably ENFP.

[@ejrashad]

True dat

[@WesleyNiman]

The last part.. about being vulnerable. Has been monumental for me and my current relationship. For instance; my gf recently told me that her mom was moving to Florida in about 9 months, she lives with her mom. And she wasn't sure if she was going to be going with her. Now.. we've been dating for about 5 months. And things have been going great. She's even started moving some things over to my place. Towel, lotion, shampoo, etc.. the good stuff essentially. But we're both a little bit reserved emotionally.. so we hadn't said I love you up to this point. Even though the writing really seemed to be on the wall. So when she told me about Florida.. I of course was a bit nervous. Though I was hoping that she was dropping the hint to get me thinking about her moving-in. That was over a week ago.. and a few days ago, after I had talked to my family and friends about it, I decided to open up and tell her not only that I love her, but that I wanted her to stay here in Indiana with me and not go to Florida(I know.. tough sell). But if I didn't open up to her then what would I have been doing? Accepting that I could be just wasting my time? Because I'm not in this for the short-term.. and I needed her to remember that. So I sat her down.. and told her that her telling me about Florida has forced me to do some deep thinking about our relationship. I told her that 9 months from now I wanted her to be here with me.. because I'm serious about her. Then the words came.. "because I love you." We laid there for a moment.. both absorbing the moment and racing with thought. Until she turned to me with a big smile and said, "I was wondering if you loved me back.. and I already made my decision. I'm staying." For me.. absolute best case scenario. And this isn't the first time that this sort of situation has happened in our relationship. There's actually been many times that I've been nervous to open up.. but whenever I did... she's always responded with an either equal, or even greater positive reaction. But needless to say.. I was very nervous to open up to her. There was a chance that she could've rejected me and I would've been heartbroken.. but I also would've never gotten to where I am now without taking a chance. Honesty is truly imperative in a long-lasting and healthy relationship. Don't let an opportunity slip because you're afraid.. that fear is trying to tell you something. 😁

[@nathan2813]

BEST. COMMENT. EVER!!! :o)

[@christopherevensen4942]

That's beautiful man, I'm so happy for you (and hopefully her) that you got to experience such a singularly moving moment

[@WesleyNiman]

@@christopherevensen4942 I appreciate that. It really did seem like the essential next step that was needed for our relationship to grow. It's still blossoming, and I'm growing closer to her every day. It really is a beautiful thing.

[@seanl6478]

Damn, that was a good story. Nice.

[@dman7857]

Amazing man congratulations 👍👍

[@brandong.8494]

I've been happily married for 11 years and I would encourage other married men to watch this and follow her advice as well. We should all be winning over our wives again and again 💪

[@scottbuehler2803]

Married 31 years here .... your comments are spot-on ... I LOVE my wife, and she absolutely loves being treated and thought of as special ... as she should be.

[@dpaijlrgdw]

Truth

[@CallsItLikeISeizeIts]

Unless they lost the plot😂

[@abdul8685]

touchey

[@claudiolorenzon1997]

A very wise man once told me the cheapest thing you own is the hardest thing to keep and that is your word. You are nothing without your word.

[@gibibah8324]

Words

[@polarbear5740]

@@gibibah8324 Wrong,he said it correctly.

[@habsom1406]

I totally agree with you. My Dad used to say: "If you lose your wealth, you've lost nothing! If you lose your health, you've lost something! But if you lose your reputation, you've lost everything!"

[@claudiolorenzon1997]

@@habsom1406 absolutely very well said!

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

Fucking AMEN bro.

[@swing2gether]

Sad part is, she may like the "5" or "6" but her friends influence tells her she can do much better and all she is doing is settling. In turn, she leaves in search of someone her friends approve of and not her choice. Women nowadays seek validation, not happiness. Social media and this materialistic culture we consume everyday are actually hurting us and not helping. My advice is to shut off your social media and live life. It's more enjoyable

[@fenixshakallitas5882]

That is so true . My first "love" fell victim to outside influences. Friends can be very toxic

[@gil-juniorriseabovebetraya5972]

well said. my exwife was happy till she met her slughty co-workers and now shes dating her 3rd guy. hope she finds happyness though

[@lionfromjam7282]

Spot on! I'm sorry for this social media generation.

[@EduRB99]

I'm really sure this happens a lot, but that's exactly why there's wife material and thots... You need learn how to evaluate character, if she's an air head, just ditch her before she do it to you. A inteligent, high character girl, will not trade love for validation. Same goes for men, if you really love your girl, and she makes you happy, would you risk to lose it just because you want to sleep around? If the answer is yes, then you're probably really dumb to, like lots of f#ckboys out there. High character people are out there too, they might be a minority, IDK, but they are out there!

[@HHIto]

Some of her “friends”, even “family” (jealous, “destructive” personalities).... look around... life is for the brave, moral,... (cheaters, wimps, small minds....).

[@Simon-xr8by]

I like that you put confidence as your #1 turn on. It takes a lot of inner work to know you are, accept it, love it, and go after what you truly believe in. So many people are afraid to confront themselves and then embrace what they find.

[@rebuild000]

So So Great to see a video without the drama. Great advice for men at any age, I was taught this... from my dad, I taught my son who highly respects his older sisters just a couple years older. Now I'm a 1st time grand dad showing my 8 month old granddaughter how she's suppose to be treated, with love, kindness, respect, make her smile feeling secure. Great video!!

[@andrebaxter4023]

"When you look your best, you feel your best." Definitely a true statement.

[@satanictaffy]

I somewhat agree with that. I think when you look your best...to...you...not what other people or GQ says looks best...you feel your best.

[@avici0182]

This is why I wear nice shoes 😂

[@antonboludo8886]

Clean fashionable clothes, clean body, clean home.

[@jamesstewart6079]

BS

[@gratefulhealth]

For me it doesn't matter so much what I wear on the outside, but my feeling of being on top of the world from how I live on the inside. Personal integrity means so much more to me and being happy, than what I wear.

[@PagoCitiesSkylines2]

“Being rude to a service worker is a huge turnoff” *Laughs in Gordon Ramsey*

[@christopheraleman3507]

is different

[@thatHARVguy]

@@Murderbits There's also a big difference between Gordan Ramsey the tv boss edited on USA shows and on UK shows.

[@crtnyrey8665]

Bro, Ramsey is the complete opposite of someone who's rude to service workers.

[@pergustafsson1155]

Watch "Great Escapes" with Gordon Ramsey, it's on youtube. That will definitely give another perspective on him as a person. :)

[@PagoCitiesSkylines2]

@@pergustafsson1155 it was a joke, but thank you will watch. I like his tv show too on nat geo.

[@FourKelvin]

Don't be vulnerable. Not at all. Not one second. Never show them your weaknesses. Don't be stupid!

[@fpwirtz4720]

Courtney, I appreciate that you make the effort to make us better companions -- and that even applies when you're in a committed relationship, as I am. You really do an excellent job of explaining the "common sense" things we need to work on, and do so without being defensive or judgemental, which I also appreciate. The guy in your life is a lucky dude! You did miss "listening" in this list -- I know this because it's one I struggle with -- too many things running thru my head, and I don't pay enough attention to the gal I love. (Hint: If your guy is like this, try saying his name and getting him to meet your gaze before talking. Guys, you really need to make an effort to show her that you care about her and her thoughts and opinions. Gals, try to cut us a little slack and appreciate our effort. Acceptance that we're less than perfect is a major step in winning our heart!

[@jackmorgan1677]

Having a sense of humour is also a lot about being intelligent. When you're smart you see the different funny angles of things.

[@swskitso]

But then we see humor in things others dont because when you think logically you can forget about the emotion that drives the majority of perspectives. Case in point, i try to share a laugh about the irony of Australia poisoning feral cats a year or two ago and now they have a mouse problem, some people cant laugh at the irony because they are focused on the sad killing of cats and what the future holds for the mice and people of Australia. Then im labeled as heartless.

[@fridgeman111]

@@swskitso well said

[@ericsonhazeltine5064]

True

[@oanavonu-boriceanu5046]

This 🙌🏼

[@turbofister6000]

Not really. A lot of famous scientists or people with high iq had/have no humor. A lot of them were/are autistic though

[@Top_Hat_Walrus]

1) Get shredded brah 2) Be on your purpose 3) Delayed gratification > Instant gratification 4) Level up social skills All the above points will strengthen the others and will also give you confidence (you should act confident regardless) The points in the video are good as well but looks do matter, or atleast the effort that goes into getting an aesthetic body, do not worry about unchangeable features, focus on what you can improve and then do it, always maximise your chanses of getting what you want, there is no reason not to workout. Were all gonna make it brahs! 💪🏻

[@s.f.5423]

ay a fellow zyzz enjoyer

[@Agent-fw9ht]

Based

[@maximbury1358]

fellow hamza enjoyer

[@adam632]

yo Tevvez bam babdabdbdbabaammm

[@bubbaphat8242]

Fuckin' based, a fellow Zyzz fan, I see.

[@jadasuttle5183]

I didn't think that ladies like Courtney still exist. Even in a world of people who praise themselves, she has an axiom of morals, and truth considering relationships, and I just wish there were more like her.

[@tommy_swim243]

There are, almost all of them are just not on social media

[@user-nq5hy7vn9k]

Even she is nothing more than your average virtue-signaller female, trying to gain popularity points on the internet. She mostly likely is just like the very same girls whom she talks about as being toxic

[@clydewillis]

You must be looking in all the wrong places. Most women I know are exactly as she describes.

[@jadasuttle5183]

@@clydewillis Well, I must be looking in the wrong places then, cause many of them are too darn self centered where I'm from.

[@jadasuttle5183]

@@tommy_swim243 Yeah, I can agree with that to a degree, but there are many who're not I run into on a daily basis.

[@sethvillarreal1316]

Thank you Courtney, this is helping me I have a lot of emotional damage and issues from my troubled past and upbringing, but your videos are helping me to be a better man. I really appreciate your genuineness and practical demeanor.

[@mububu2]

Went on a first date with a girl this afternoon and spent the whole morning beforehand watching your videos. It went really well and we're meeting up again in a few days. Thanks Courtney, you were so helpful at calming my nerves and helping me show my best self!

[@CourtneyRyan]

This made me smile so big!! Yay! So happy for you ❤️

[@RorydriftmansxrsilviaWilkinson]

HI COURTNEY RYAN LOL LOVE YOUR CHANNEL AND HAVE SUBSCRIBERS TODAY ON A SUNDAY WEEKEND GIRL SOO DOME CUTE YOU ARE AND AMAZING LOOKES AND YOUR HAIR VOLUME SOO ON POINT COURTNEY AND I ASK A GIRL OUT IF SHE WAS TOO CHILL OUT WITH ME SOME TIME SOON AND SHE SIDE YES SHE WOLD LIKE TOO MEET UP WITH ME SOME TIME SOON WHENS FREE TOO MEET UP AND SHES SOO CUTE AND YOUR LOOKES AMAZING I SPOKEN TOO YOUR LAST WEEK IN TOWN WHEN I WAS IN TOWN ETC AND GAVE YOUR A CHRISTMAS CARD TOO YOUR AS WELL TOO COURTNEY AND LET ME NOW MORE ON DATEING FROM NEW. ZEALAND AND CAN U HELPING ME OUT COURTNEY RAYN.

[@RorydriftmansxrsilviaWilkinson]

AND I THEINK SHE LIKES ME BACK TOO AND SHE SIDE I WAS CUTE ETC COURTNEY RYAN AND WHAT TOO NOW MORE ABOUT THIS GIRL ETC AND I WAS TALKING TOO YOUR , WHEN I SEE YOUR AND I SAY HI TOO YOUR AS WELL AND TALKE FOR SOME TIME BACK AND FORF SHES SO AMAZING AND WE ARE GOING TOO HANGOUT SOME TIME SOON IF NOW WHEN SHES FREE AT SOME POINT AM IN TOWN SOME TIMES I MEET UP WITH YOUR ETC AND I KEIND OFF LIKE YOUR TOO AND I ASKE YOUR OUT FOR A COFFEE DATE OR SOME DRINKS OUT IN TOWN SOME TIME TOO SOO HOPE IT GOS VERY WELL FOR ME AND YOUR AN BOTH OFF AS WELL SHES SOO GOOD LOOK GIRL TOO AND AMAZING , SOO HOT AND CUTE AND SEXY TOO WE ON BOYS ETC

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@SKYDARIPPA2wild4tv]

Then u get the woman of ur dreams and they all change don’t believe in love @MOOP they drain the life out of u focus on urself wen ur all set financially,physically, emotionally, spiritually, & mentally U reach KING status then u play the field any BS starts goin on goodbye ✌🏽 women are like jobs they use u til they can’t no more 99.1% so u have a .9 % chance GOODLUCK ... SKY VIEWS - SKYDARIPPA - my break up song haha LEGO🦾

[@thomashumphrey7395]

One of the biggest turn-offs and red flags for a lot of men that prevents them from wanting to get too involved with women is women who are checklist taskmasters.

[@joeskeptical4762]

Thomas Humphrey: *_Which means they have a list of HIGH standards which almost always become unrealistic. The man who meets just a few of her requirements is a 5%er, maybe 8-10% of all available dates & mates_*

[@swskitso]

I cant hold that against them as i am not attracted to women who do not meet my physical expectations, i think you should feel an attraction without any communication. While i have met some interesting women and shared good conversation ultimately without the physical side there was no attraction. I dont care if they have a checklist as long as they understand a man who wants to make them happy will attempt to check some of the unchecked boxes as long as she puts some faith in his ability to better himself.

[@soyeux27]

"Confidence and vulnerability go hand by hand". So true, Courtney. Thank you for this incredible video !

[@jeremycranford2732]

I remember in high school the counselor telling us how important it is to have self confidence. I just wanted to hide because I knew I had zero self confidence. Telling someone to have self confidence who doesn’t is painful. I grew up in poverty and no father. I knew I was worthless and had no self confidence. What the counselor didn’t do was tell guy like me how to gain confidence when you have zero. You didn’t offer that either Courtney. It was only after years of counseling and non-verbal therapy did I develop confidence. Just know for men with low self confidence they cannot just turn it on like a light switch.

[@frglaf4187]

I've been married for fifteen years, and I still watch videos of this type to keep my boots polished. Men, you must keep your game tight. A good woman is going to hold you to a high standard.

[@garmisra7841]

But what if you're the only one making the effort? All we have is your word that you've got a good woman.

[@frglaf4187]

@@garmisra7841 Very well. I may have been fortunate. I do not excuse anyone from fulfilling their responsibilities in a pair bond. Surely I have grumpy moments with my wife, but I think we both try to be our best for each other. I can only speak to my general happiness and optimism I have toward my wife.

[@johngalt6838]

I find no woman to my standard....crazed and feminized.

[@garmisra7841]

@@frglaf4187 I appreciate your reply. And for what it's worth, you make a good point about responsibilities in a pair bond. I am happy that you are able to maintain happiness and optimism in your relationship. I'd venture a guess that it has a lot to do with the fact that the two of you know and accept each other without too many conditions, am I right? Like you and your wife have an agreement that your relationship is built on being the best for each other that you can be. It is really great to hear that.

[@frglaf4187]

@@garmisra7841 It's a ride, and there is no right answer. I vetted both of my wives for a long time. You can tell in 30 seconds if this is bad news, but you want to see if you can hold on for 8 seconds. When the time comes, watch how she treats her parents, then yours.

[@guillervz]

"I'm so proud of you!" I said that to a good old friend of mine who is doing really good in life right now and I had not seen in years. She was so moved she started crying. It was one the most honest compliments I've ever given.

[@vajiragunasekera1386]

Hi Courtney, I have studied and enjoyed many of your videos on this channel. This is one of the best. I feel that you are not only a great friend to men for grooming advice on all levels but also a fantastic role model for women. Keep it up and I am very grateful for these practical advise to help me to be better person. With my best wishes.

[@markwolfe503]

Courtney is absolutely incredible. She comes off as someone who is so real and who genuinely cares. You can tell by her tone of voice that she is not trying to be a hype salesperson. Although the vulnerability can be so hard for us guys it does appear to build a stronger connection with others that are real.

[@theprousteffect9717]

Confidence is also about acknowledging your weaknesses, owning them, but pressing on in spite of them. You're never going to get to a place where you love everything about yourself, but you can get to a place where you recognize your value and stop caring so much about what other people think.

[@4thand100]

There’s a big difference between and gentleman and a “nice guy”. Some women just aren’t going to want a gentleman..and gentlemen, those are not the women you want.

[@masonparker302]

Thank goodness those are extremely rare. I only ever met ONE in my 37 years since puberty. I moved on quickly after she said "I DON'T need my door opened for me."

[@TrealTalk187]

Yea unfortunately most can't tell the difference between the two

[@emmydee907]

@4thand100 Yes! We can spot a “nice guy” from a mile away. Whereas the Gentleman is nice because he's a gentleman (without any expectations) , the “nice guy” is nice in the hopes of getting sexual favors from us :)

[@IronWolf_345]

@@emmydee907 agree and disagree... in most cases, we guys get the stink eye when we act both chivalrous and when we don’t we’re expected to do so, nowadays we don’t know if a lady will accuse you of sexism and oppression by holding the door open... the safest bet is to not be a gentleman... which is truly sad, very much so. I’ve gotten cold stares and mean looks when I do the gentlemanly thing.

[@AbhinavChoudharyOfficial]

That's how you get a nice friends, who thinks she married you but never loved you. You don't have to open doors

[@BC-wj8fx]

I am glad you included the caveat for vulnerability - that it's a red flag if she doesn't appreciate it. I had a couple of relationships where as soon as I let down my stoicism / self-sufficiency / independence, thinking it's time to open up more, the female switched from admiration to contempt! The feeling I got was that they were only interested in somebody who had everything together, more than they did, in order to support them and be their rock. Both had personality disorders though, so it made a lot of sense that it wasn't a fair and level playing field.

[@Canuckle19]

What kind of personality disorders?

[@Dopaaamine27]

​@@Canuckle19bipolar disorder or codependency disorder most likely.

[@Coalition4NewerVision]

What you said is very general so anyone agreeing with you about your point about women not liking vulnerability or an emotional man is just confirmation bias. Also goes for the other way tho because you can’t say either way from your story as far as the comment goes. We have no idea what you said specifically, your reasons for saying it, or how you said it. For all we know you might have said something that was the turn off and it wasn’t this broad thing of women not liking vulnerability.

[@demonderpz7937]

I’m genuinely grateful for these videos because they ease my anxiety. I know I’m decently attractive, but socially I’m not sure how to carry myself and I had no idea what women preferred until I found your channel.

[@Newgrist]

I never realized until recently how much women love a sense of humor. My 52 year old bald cousin married a 27 year old woman. His biggest draw is his sense of humor.

[@mikelitorous5570]

Don’t take yourself to seriously and have a laugh/be humble Have motivation/ambition to do better in life Be yourself/confident Have hobbies and interests Eat clean and exercise Be a gent and show care for other people That would be my list as a man

[@bradleyb.425]

It's obvious you were raised right. EVERYTHING that comes out of your mouth is common sense, truthful and conveyed with a sense of responsibility and humility. I'm 56 years old, 21 years military (enlisted and officer / combat veteran), 22 years married (10 divorced), I've worked in the corporate world and now own my own contracting business. More so than ANY other other woman I've found on the internet providing relationship insight and advice I trust YOU. There's no gamesmanship, flirting, b.s., validation seeking or any other immature, insecure, low-quality junk about you. You are obviously an incredibly high value individual and you treat yourself and others with decency, kindness, consideration and respect. I don't know if I've ever met a Unicorn, but if I have you're probably it. Your husband is a lucky / blessed man. Thanks for what you do and for how you do it. I'll keep listening.

[@michaelshuka2743]

I completely agree on the topic of how being vulnerable is a path towards building a deep emotional bond. This has been the case for all of the close relationships I have with people in my life, except for dating relationships. With Women, every time i have reciprocated vulnerability, it has driven them away. The line between vulnerability, and over sharing, or sharing too much information too soon is so confusing. It's almost daunting.

[@wulf67]

Maybe those were women who weren't worthy of your time. Time is precious. Be grateful that you found a way to spot the duds quickly before wasting years of your life on the wrong one. There are 3,904,735,245 women in the world. Finding ONE ain't the problem. The problem is figuring out which 3,904,735,244 to pass on. Vulnerability will help you two find each other quicker.

[@nathan2813]

The best advice with women in showing vulnerability is if in doubt, don't. Women always have so much on their social calendars, they need 5x the time to process new relationships. That's why men should date five women at once, if they can.

[@RickKosickFilms]

I like the tone of your voice. You're not loud and trying to be animated with your body language like the other KZbin channels. Keep up the good work!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Haha keeping it real over here. Thank you so much!

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@ICavalcadeI]

she has a really calming energy

[@donkeykong1234]

you talking about Joyanima?

[@Anthony-sn9kl]

The over animated body language KZbinrs are insufferable

[@morganw8682]

I'll add another compliment! You articulate yourself well. It's unusual to find a 25 year old girl these days who composes sentences correctly and speaks with coherence! You're in touch with pop culture and style but you don't talk with "like" in every other word or have a Valley Girl accent like you're on Keeping up with the Kardashians!

[@B__C]

Don't forget the word "literally". When I was growing up I didn't realize all I did was speak figuratively.

[@bobbylawsen9638]

@Morgan W There is probably a good chance that the text in this video was written by someone else....quite possibly an articulate man. Just sayin'....

[@Coneman3]

@@B__C And basically...

[@deltaXna]

She's 25? I thought she was in her mid 30s! Not because she looks it. Just like you said. Emotional intelligence

[@cornstar1253]

Don't forget uptalking or vocal fry

[@realerinandre]

Thanks for ur realness, Courtney. U give very good and healthy advices; nothing compared with other's content, where they ask u to do very extreme things, such as getting toxic with ur couple, changing ur body, etc. And with u, well, ur very comprehensive; and I love how u communicate that certain of things. Ur great!

[@alexmanster1865]

I love the fact that you care for us men out there who are fighting to be staying traditional. You have helped restore my will to fight on....

[@steveporteroutdoorsohio4739]

Courtney I just got divorced in February and just getting back into the dating seen and your advice has really opened my eyes thank you for being so sincere

[@add_tekaru1057]

How's it going? Good?

[@antonboludo8886]

@@thistagworked Maybe it is better to not accept any religion without first thinking for yourself.

[@antonboludo8886]

@@thistagworked I have hit a nerve, have I not? You automatically assume that I am an atheist? My 86-year-old uncle is a Jesuit Priest and is also a scientist. He has to struggle with these ideas everyday. Take it easy, my young grasshopper. Breathe, meditate, levitate...

[@paulaljouny230]

As a Christian marriage is so sacred . Divorce is so crazy

[@jphilly1261]

Being vulnerable is definitely hard for a lot of guys. There are times in the past where I was vulnerable to females, one of which is a family member, and they would later on down the line make fun of what I told them. In my experience you shouldn't want to be with them if they do something like that.

[@gulamahmed4773]

You never ever tell any female your weakness regardless who she is it, even she might be your mom , especially not to you girlfriend/ wife. Never .. entire world might say you to open up as a man , don't listen to them , it's 100% bullshit. You might open up with your best friend who is a guy but never a women for god sake . Once you let them know you have a crack in the stone they lose respect for you or use it as weapon later on.

[@jonnjones8263]

Thats what every woman does. Which is why you should never be vulnerable with them.

[@ErikAdalbertvanNagel]

You're absolutely right. I've been there. Men need to grow an iron heart.

[@andyrocker9271]

You can be vulnerable with women but it must be on very rare occasions they will see it as weakness if you are constantly vulnerable. And whatever you do tell them make sure you are confident in yourself not to get hurt if they ever turn it on you. You must act as if it doesn't bother you in the slightest if they use your weaknesses against you

[@paulaljouny230]

Even my mother does this . This is why I don’t tell her shit

[@mikecastronovo1785]

Courtney! I was shocked when I heard you say people leave mean comments (guess I shouldn’t be in the current state of civility in our world). I almost NEVER leave comments, but I just wanted to leave you a word of encouragement. I consider myself a pretty confident guy, but I’ve been out of the dating scene for 30+ years. I’ve looked at numerous KZbin channels with “dating experts” (you probably know who they are, and their approach). Your channel is SO incredible. You are genuine, sincere, and you give such incredible insights. I intend to watch ALL your videos. Great job! Keep it up!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you so much 🥹

This video felt nice, thank you! :) I think everybody knows confidence is the main turn on so you included it first. But I really liked the emphasis you did on vulnerability because it's probably the second most important turn on so I guess you saved it for last :)

[@jaker808]

I opened up to my ex and she used what I shared against me. That last part gonna be hard

[@RickB102159]

Some people you need to guard against! Remember her saying "that woman sucks!"? Well...

[@gregrodgers9537]

Same thing happened to me, sorry I’ll never tell a women about my personal life ever again

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

Vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to tell your biz but fr be comfortable so you won’t feel bad it maybe different for me if she did to me I would go harder in life and cut her off in my life like some scissors ✂️

[@nygelfoster2238]

I went through the same thing man. Courtney is spot on with this video, but I would like to add that chivalry and vulnerability are particularly dangerous when you’re dealing with the wrong woman.

[@jackasswarvetrian]

As a man, you should keep in the back of your mind that man is always alone. Maybe not physically or emotionally but mentally, you are always alone. The sooner you embrace that harsh yet harmonic and simple fact, the easier the rest of your life will become. You need to be your biggest admirer and your harshest critic at the same time. Not saying you need to be a total loner but think of your mental state like house. Invite good people in and show them who you are, give a spare key to your eventual significant other but know that when those earthquakes come, you have built that mental concrete foundation solid enough so you can always repair or rebuild even when there’s no one around to help you. Sorry for the rant, I just thought I’d let you know the mindset that kept me mentally strong through my own dark times Incase the O.P or anyone scrolling finds this intriguing. Good day and stay strong, lads 🤙

[@michaelk5094]

The fact that Courtney was tearing up when she was talking about all the nice people leaving her compliments shows how down to earth she truly is! Also, Im not sure about most guys but personally hitting the gym daily and getting a haircut are the best ways that make me feel confident and also growing up and not really caring so much about what other people think! Great Video Courntey yet again :)

[@anonymousamerican8277]

This was very empowering for me as a man Ty, I struggle with the confidence thing and I think part of that is knowing your worth. I always feel like I’d be the lucky one to get with this girl and never see it as I have a lot too offer so thank you I really like the video. Subscribed and liked!

[@paulposch3627]

You show the most kindness and humility you use down to earth that works too but you’re the real deal and that is the most unique thing about you. Thank you for reaffirming that if I do the little things they will not go unappreciated it’s tough Nowadays

[@rob4803]

I've come across these videos and can truly appreciate the approach given here. For all the guys, love yourself, work on YOU, and love those around you. Life will provide you with that all you need when you're in the "position" to receive them, don't fret over the small stuff. And don't ever put anyone over you, there's not a single person on earth that can judge the value of another.

[@habsom1406]

Your Mom and Dad did a great job at raising you Courtney, you're so grounded and just, fair and sensitive. You're not afraid to be honest about the shortcomings of womankind nor pointing out the foibles of mankind, you say it how it is, but always with kindness and without any malice or attitude and it's very refreshing. I hope I can find a fine lady who has at least some of your qualities one day.

[@aminerkin9844]

Simp here. She just said some watered down nonsense here. Just like when you see a hot girl, all her negative qualities does not matter or matters much less, same goes with women. If you are hot, she finds a small good thing that you did and exaggerates it to different level. What women want is a man who knows wtf he's doing.

[@RKnVa]

Stop sucking up.

[@dpaijlrgdw]

This is very helpful. Being in a new relationship is sometimes challenging, but tips like yours help so much. Thank you for all you do. 🙏

[@TruthFinder7839]

Your video is spot on, great content. The only thing I would add is your actions shouldn’t be forced and unnatural, you’ve got to have these characteristics engrained into your personality so as you react instinctively and naturally each day and night for sharing together life in the moment. Congratulations for your your abilities to share your insights with others.

[@michaelodinson6770]

Thank you Courtney... just making sure I am not missing anything. Using emotional intelligence is a constant practice. I learned that doing the thing's that benefit yourself and the people around you molds you. That applies to everything. People, actions, habits.. everything. It doesn't happen if it doesn't benefit. Thank you for your work.

[@SciHeartJourney]

In that Brendon Fraser movie Blast From The Past, they quoted his character about what being a "gentleman" is. It's really quite simple and beautiful; a "gentleman" or "lady" is someone who cares more about the comfort of their company than they do for their own. I love that definition!

[@fenrew]

Well made video, Courtney!! You are very humble, genuine and down to earth, and i love that you take the time to answer comments!

[@cganderson25]

Courtney, I wanted to tell you have a real gentleness about you and the way you speak. I’m not just saying this to be frivolous or disingenuous. Thank you for all your advice. I’m sure the man you’re with appreciates you. My gratitude goes out to you and those who make your videos happen!

[@shawnmason3592]

I absolutely love that you put “keeping your word” in this video. This is something I grew up with and do believe everyone should follow. There’s only two things in this world that I truly believe you have 1. your word and 2. your name. Everything else is borrowed and can be replaced. I’m really enjoying your videos. Keep up the good work! 😊

[@danpartridge8584]

Recently stumbled across your channel. Love the calm, measured demeanor; the carefully researched subject matter and, of course, your sincerity in its delivery. Keep up the solid work ✌️

[@straysky]

Not sure if I'm going to be dating but this really helps me set a good tone and attitude with maturity. It's easy to get lost in the meanness of life, this helps.

[@chrisatkinson5169]

Hey Courtney! Thank you for approaching your topics with a sweetness that is just palpable. You are obviously a kind person. The kind of person that would stop and pray with a homeless person and help them get something to eat. Guys like that kind of person as well

[@jasongomez4443]

You’re extremely honest and I think that’s what makes your advice worth listening too. Great job you’re killing it.

[@AhmedHussain-qk7fi]

Courtey's voice is such a stress-reliever!

[@lordrex3824]

She speaks like a baby

[@norapper6182]

That’s a Feminine voice for you

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

@@norapper6182 💯💯💪🏽💪🏽 facts I don’t want no masculine woman voice like girls that tap into that divine feminine energy I love it man. Best girls to be around with, I’m fr my g

[@cgortz89]

Yes to confidence and compliments! Especially the don't just compliment the physical. My biggest lack of compliments is still that my partner can't notice positive things about me as a person. Instead he basically just commented on how hot my ass was, and after a while it kind of hurt me that he couldn't compliment anything else. My mom is thankfully much better in that sense. She can be harsh and judgey sometimes, but she's also the one that can notice and tell me about my good sides. Make sure to notice positive traits and good things your partner does! It will strenghten your relationship.

[@Mystefier]

I also liked how you say to be vulnerable, because yes, that will reveal very quickly whether she is a caring person or not.

[@mjspresents]

Right on and thank you. I have found all of this to be true. In my 20s, I was so insecure and stressed about what people thought of me. But in the last few years, even just between how I behaved at my last job and my current one, I have changed. I used to be a pathetic doormat. But after making some big mistakes, I learned to have confidence in my own principles and values. Women in general used to ignore my existence. But at my current job, I get a lot of respect and I can tell a few of them like me- even just in a friendly way. Women have never treated me with so much positive attention in my entire life. I just had to shed that doormat attitude. I am still deeply insecure, but I no longer project that into my relationships. I just do what I do best. Kick ass and help whenever I can. And hygiene for sure is a priority. Thank you, Cristine.

[@dnxsol]

thanks for sharing dude... Keep it up. i like how things are better for you now!

[@RR-et6zp]

leadership

[@coryames1170]

"This girl SUCKS!" Lol I loved your delivery of that line. Courtney you would be a great relationship counselor

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂😂 thank you!

[@EduardoSantos-pv8yo]

I loved it too 😂😂

[@edvas625]

@@CourtneyRyan women are attracted emotionally, men are attracted visually

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@vedpratap8113]

Vasqueand women need attention 24×7 please add this also

[@markhanney9253]

Thanks for your thoughtful and lovely advice Courtney. This is absolutely the tips I wish I could have got when I was in my late teens and early 20s.

[@poogissploogis]

I'm so glad you mentioned vulnerability. I've been trying to tell guy friends that it's a huge turn on for women but they just don't believe me, and I think it's because they've been vulnerable with the wrong kinds of women before and are now assuming that the vulnerability was the issue. My boyfriend is normally a very stoic and tough person, but he recently opened up to me about something that I could tell was tough for him to talk about, and it made me even more attracted to him. Maybe it's just me, but I think it gives women a chance to be nurturing and caring. It also reminds us that beneath their hard exteriors, there lies a beating heart within every man that wants to be loved just like we do.

[@SB-nh7uv]

... you literally say, your boyfriend is very stoic and tough person, so these are the qualities that lead to you liking him and then you say he opened up about one thing XD. wow, just wow.

[@poogissploogis]

@@SB-nh7uv I said NORMALLY. He has his moments of vulnerability. Read more carefully before you make stupid comments

[@liverbot4854]

@@SB-nh7uvYou can be mentally strong but still open up to your partner about insecurities or fears.

[@lifestylesimplified6125]

I don't know who trolled you here on KZbin. We can't force others to love us. You speak naturally and you deliver value to your subscribers. You are doing a great job. Keep it up Courtney!

[@tigre9271]

As a female, I agree on everything. But another turn-on is when a man has a pet, any kind...a dog, a cat, a fish, even a turtle. It shows to me that he can care and take care of another life other than his own. I know not everyone can own a pet, possibly due to their lifestyle. Maybe they travel or have health considerations. But I think even a garden, or houseplant can convey that message.

[@John-ih7gp]

I have been taking care of a cactus for over a year. Ladies line up at the door for me.

[@michaelmonsoon3919]

@@John-ih7gp Hahaha! I bought a small cactus as a mother's day present. 30 years later she still had it. Over 6' tall....

[@metdat4707]

Animals and Plants are for eating, not pets

[@tigre9271]

@@metdat4707 Well, I agree some people shouldn't have pets

[@letsdothis9063]

@@metdat4707 Dogs are pets/family. I don't care for cats, but I don't eat them either.

[@matthiggins6750]

I like that she put the qualities of confidence and vulnerability at the front end and back end. These qualities aren't incompatible. In fact, anyone with false confidence is acting as if he knows it all, doesn't welcome feedback and isn't open to risking failure and learning from failure. That's the sign of insecurity and insecure people aren't vulnerable.

[@rroberts9357]

You are so right, I've been married for 30 plus years and it all still works, thank you

[@93runninggiraffes]

As a woman, I am so so so happy that there's someone like you out here combatting all of the advice that these scummy pick-up "artists" are giving. Thanks, Courtney!!

[@hammervansickle7042]

Real men don't need pick up lines. Only sincerity

[@iandrummond7060]

hahahahaha . Yeah. Chivalry and Kindness should get you out of Chad's bed and out to brunch with a nice guy Sunday morning ...

[@AndrejKralovicSkipperio]

problem that these pick up artists "tricks" work on 99% w

[@93runninggiraffes]

@@AndrejKralovicSkipperio .... lol, keep telling yourself that, buddy.

[@AndrejKralovicSkipperio]

@@93runninggiraffes thing is they are only saying what w wanna hear. That's all. Anybody can be manipulated. Same for politicians.

[@bluecollartrader1791]

Many years ago when I was in college, I was fortunate to meet a great girl at a party and spend most of the evening with her. The next morning, she was in the cafeteria having breakfast with a table full of her friends and I stopped by the table to spend some time with her on my way out. One of her friends gave me a chair so I wouldn't leave. I talked and laughed with the group but always brought my focus back to her. I later learned that they were all amazed that I stopped at all and especially surprised that I did it alone with a table of her friends. I was surprised to hear that they were surprised! I thought I was just being friendly and showing genuine interest in her. This apparent show of confidence and easy manner sealed the deal. She and i were seriously dating for many months until long-distance cooled and ended the relationship. I learned a very valuable lesson about what captures the interest of women.

[@johnvdv936]

What I love is the softness and warmth in your voice. You speak with confidence, with that comes trust in what you say. Thank you 😊

[@Lesnbj]

Love watching your awesome, well researched smoothly delivered content. I’ve been happily married for 20 years and still watch content like yours to continue to improve to be the best I can be.

[@fubarmodelyard1392]

I can check off everything except being vulnerable. The emotional scale is kinda flatlined. I'm better with my hands than with my heart.

[@diegoperez2150]

On me😅

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@drzaius844]

Being vulnerable just means being honest. You don’t have to start crying to be vulnerable. Just reveal something that is painful or personal, to develop intimacy. Anyone can do that.

[@felixthecat7568]

@@drzaius844 Vulnerability display means weakness SIMPING in Womanesse. BTW HUGE checkmark on the SIMP scale which she WILL exploit sooner or later. Wanna talk to someone who'll understand, talk to your dogs or cat.

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

@@felixthecat7568 vulnerability doesn’t mean you’re weak it means your strong you must not know what it means and watch too many redpill videos lol

[@catreflex]

Courtney comes from a healthy home with a loving mom and dad that has supported her throughout her life. Girls like her are far more likely to value things like chivalry and integrity and treating her well because she has seen and has that example from her household. Unfortunately, a good portion of women aren’t blessed with Courtney’s family life growing up; therefore, they don’t know how a man should treat them. Keep up the good work Courtney. 💯

[@smartstartupbiz]

Well said

[@catreflex]

@@smartstartupbiz appreciate you bro.

[@Staticjumper]

Chivalry is absolutely NOT dead. My girlfriend and I were at an outdoor fest when the weather suddenly turned cold. I saw a woman who I did not know but who was obviously part of our group shivering and holding her arms around herself for warmth. I immediately stood up, approached her, took of my jacket and wrapped it around her. Yes, it caught everyone's attention. My girlfriend explained that the woman was her sister-in-law and that I had just scored major points within the family. But that is NOT the reason to do it. The reason is because chivalry is NOT dead.

[@laststand6420]

Love it, chivalry isn't dead until we let it die.

[@harshakumar104]

Lucky you did not get into a sexual harassment issue. No, I wouldn't recommend what you did. Not at all.

[@laststand6420]

@@harshakumar104 Life involves risk. Being good is worth the risk.

[@Mystefier]

That was very kind of you. I find there's a difference between doing something kind for people that appreciate it, versus following the demands of people demanding things from us that aren't theirs to demand.

[@gumshoe7237]

It doesn't cost anything to hold the door open for someone ..

[@Rick.Alan.6622]

2 years later and thank you... Much of this I wish I would have learned when I originally got into a relationship. Sadly... It might be over, but I can learn to go forward.

[@gwimmer98]

Bonus secret. These things do not just turn on women, it’s also the other way around

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@MrAlb3rtazzo]

yeah true, this is what women say they want, but it is exactly the opposite of what you have to do

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

@@MrAlb3rtazzo buddy why would a woman not want you to not be confident 🤷🏽‍♂️ Goodluck having no confidence and getting a high value female keep your head down then.😂 I’m playing but I’m fr at the start

[@stians.6912]

@@MrAlb3rtazzo , Exactly - never get advise from a fish on how to catch fish.

[@johnvonmartin7501]

Alpha man or a lone wolf is the trend. The one who ignores the world lol.

[@marko1401]

Quick reflection : I was 8 minutes late and EVEN called her that I'm going to be late so that she can wait up and know I'm coming. She even called me back and threatened that she'll leave if I'm not there in a minute or so. Then when I arrived wouldn't drop "the issue", was very bitchy and disrespectful, blew it out of proportion to the point where I told her - You're never going to get a good guy, I came here to take a walk with you, now I feel like walking. And I left. Best decision ever. In all honesty I wish women were open as you are. However there are really a lot of damaged girls out there. Completely agree on the word thing. The vulnerability thing is more like trust on my side to the point where I open up.

[@Sebastian-zt4dq]

sorry that happened to you.

[@billsmith8825]

You did the right thing. No reason to hang out with somebody who treats you that way, no matter how good looking they are.

[@afifafif8844]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6mUfKmNgZ2NmLc

[@elyse3332]

Thats awful she responded that way. 8 minutes is nothing to wait especially with traffic. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

[@feralferrari2516]

Dude, it’s so simple: just get her a watch that’s 10 minutes slow (this’ll show chivalry, humour, confidence & it’ll compliment.. her hang up)! 😎

[@yannick6607]

I have only been following you for a couple of months Courtney, but i appreciate the work you're doing helping men. Keep doing it 🙏👏

[@user-ku8lw6es7m]

Hey Courtney.. Just want to say that I really love your work. You seem like a really nice person and you bring a great energy and simplicity and honesty to the table. I fully agree that confidence can be learned. I used to be painfully shy and I actually read woman's magazines to try and understand women better. I lost my virginity at the advanced age of 28, and even then the girl made the first move. Today, at 50, at a party, I'm that guy that every guy wants to be. Even though I still have social anxiety, I push through it and it is getting easier and easier. One thing that I have learned is this: Be the watering hole, not the hunter.

[@_Cortez0415Cristian]

I love how you always remind people the difference between simp and being a good human. Some guys nowadays dont get it yet. Awesome video!

[@icm65]

Shows how far we’ve come as people when keeping yourself “clean” is considered a turn on. Not sure when personal hygiene became unimportant. By the way, it goes both ways, I’ve been with women who, basically had the Amazon jungle growing down there.

[@gamerrage2548]

Depression and suicide are both on the rise. A lot of times, people who are depressed tend to neglect common activities such as bathing and teeth brushing. The current state of society and the world has many people on edge.

[@jleano609]

As long as the "jungle" is clean it's not a problem. I actually think both men and women have gone a bit too far with "landscaping" certain areas nowadays.

[@omnipotentone5628]

I did notice during her "cleanliness" section, she said cleanliness is important, ESPECIALLY if your not a 10 out of 10. So Chad, Tyrone, and bad boys, you get a pass on the cleanliness thing.

[@fruitloops3718]

You should live in Germany where taking a shower once a week is considered clean.

[@archivaldogutierrez7439]

When you say woman like this or that , it is merely what you like not what the average woman wants. Every woman is a mistery, hard to understand and make a complicated drama out of very simple issues. The on denominator of what woman wants is $$$.

[@netgnostic1627]

My ex-wife is a social worker. When I first knew her, she was quite insistent that I open up about my emotions. I managed to do it, and for a while this seemed really good. But then, I started having feelings that my wife didn't approve of, and she started using her social work lingo to explain why my feelings were wrong, and I had no right to feel that way. I was pretty shocked, and I told her that every person's feelings are real, and must be accepted as they are. Also, that as a social worker, she already knows that. She stopped, because I was obviously right, but she was really steamed. She didn't say anything more about it right then, but trust me, she didn't like it when my emotions weren't ones she agreed with. So I learned my lesson, and kept my mouth shut about my emotions, because I don't like having them weaponized against me. So here's what I think about this now: when a woman says she wants an emotionally available man, what she really wants is a man who always listens and validates her feelings and opinions. My ex certainly had no interest in dealing with or facing my emotions unless they were fully aligned with hers.

[@jairgonzalez6369]

I wish more girls were like you Courtney! Love the content.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you! ❤️

[@SigmaLegend69]

oh might wanna check on Roma Army (She is an MRA, because not a lot on MRA in our society, so in order to bring balance, that way she shows the egalitarianism / Gender equality)

[@perhelgeson5734]

Sadly much too few😬!

[@jkg5665]

You make it sounds like you know her inside and out in real life, in her life. Courtney is beautiful outside, but only the guys she been with know her inside. No pun intended! Ha

[@theemperor2017]

@@CourtneyRyan love you hair 💜🌺

[@rmrockandcountry]

I really appreciate female dating coaches like you!! Men think completely opposite of women. Men think if I don’t think I’m super attractive or they think they have to have 6 pack or something. It’s encouraging to know that being kind of being a gentlemen is a big turn on to women. Guys think it’s all about looks. If men actually knew that they could get a beautiful woman to love them just by being nice, kind, chivalrous etc. Lot’s of men wouldn’t give up so easy. I know of at least one friend that is a male friend who has completely given up on ever having a gf. If more men knew hey I’m not the most attractive dude but if I can make her laugh I’m golden. Also a lot think also that if a woman is super beautiful and or thin and attractive. Oh, she’s so hot I can’t get someone that pretty to date me they second guess themselves and sabotage themselves by thinking I’m not attractive enough to get her. Where as being kind, being a gentleman have nothing to do with how physically attractive or not you are. I think women are less shallow and more accepting of someone no matter what they look like. It’s encouraging to know hey I’m funny hey I can make her laugh. Maybe I can get her. Again goes back to #1 self confidence. I don’t think this is just a male issue either I think both genders struggle with having confidence, they have self esteem issues, etc. It’s hard to teach yourself to have confidence and to have self love that’s hard. Cause a lot don’t like themselves let alone love themselves. And not in a cocky way but a healthy amount of self love I think helps in the confidence factor. I don’t think you mentioned that one but the loving yourself I think goes a long ways in helping anyone devolop some self confidence. Thank you Courtney!! I appreciate especially the female dating coaches cause a lot of guys think again it’s all about physical looks. So when men know hey just being a good person and being a gentlemen will help you get the girl I think is very encouraging!!

[@abdul8685]

very insightful and well writen. Well done.

[@dominiquez5643]

Master class Courtney! I'm glad I stumbled into your channel (coming from Corey Wayne - who like anybody else - has his rights and wrongs). But so far, the last 3 videos I watched from you are spot on with a pltora of useful details to determine if I'm with the right person for me (it doesn't mean she may not be right for anybody else)...going for my 4th video so far...

[@CourtneyRyan]

So glad you’re here! Thanks for the kind comment 🥹

[@ramirosan]

Hey Courtney, I just came across your channel today and I’m glad I did! There’s something I’ve noticed about myself recently: The less I’ve been focusing on girls the more attention I’ve been getting from girls. I used to be a smart introvert but a couple months back I’ve been improving myself by exercising and becoming more confident. When studying in the school library I’ve caught a few girls looking in my direction and as soon as I lift up my head they look away. Last week I had this cute girl approach me. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and I told a group chat I was in that I’m going to Church if anyone else wants to join. I ended up going with around 10 girls to mass. I only knew 2 of the girls so I made several new friends that night. My point of this is not to brag but to point out something I’ve noticed as I’ve become more confident. I wanted to know what you think Courtney about the observation I noticed about myself: The less I’ve been focusing on girls the more I’ve been getting girls attention. You have a new subscriber. The thumbnails are really clean and not cluttered.

[@IronWolf_345]

Very insightful, some minor things we guys tend to take for granted and overlook that sets us back. Thank you for bringing them to the forefront to remind us men that the small things matter. 💯🙏🏼

[@NoahsArc]

One thing that has changed my life in terms of confidence has been “I Am” affirmations. Not just saying “I am confident”. I am saying look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself positive I am affirmations until you believe it! Trust me you will eventually!

[@GauravSareenWingman]

Courtney, I kept thinking that I've seen you somewhere other than your own channel ... a few months before I even found your channel... The penny dropped when you mentioned the watch giveaway... you're Teddy's fiance, and I saw the video where he gifted you your favourite watch (I forget what watch now, though). I can now see how like attracts like. Teddy and you are so similar. Your poise, demeanour, knowledge, delivery, confidence, and just general calmess are so similar to each other... God Bless you both!!!

[@Sesshoumaru888]

Chivalry, Kindness, Compliments, Punctuality, Keeping your word (that she forces you to take), Be vulnerable - all these roads lead to the friendzone

[@oldleatherhandsfriends4053]

Or getting cheated on.

[@bella-nina]

all of these are spot on. especially confidence, vulnerability, and chivalry‼️

[@Dany-gf9zu]

Yup

[@kushnirm96]

She’s like preaching, everything she said isn’t just to get a girl. Girl or single these things are great to practice! 👏

[@halidkaraca9342]

I love the way how you confidently convey your message.

[@JD-ev3po]

Confidence is huge. It is important to define this, as Courtney says, as self-love, to accept ourselves and to be secure in this love. And to extend it to others. I believe this extends to being honest and even vulnerable, but having a positive mental state, having hope, to offer ourselves and others. The honesty is important. I know I have struggled with this and my wife had to push me in this area. But she also said she liked that I was humble and not cocky. So there is a real balance as other times she said I was not honest or had low self-esteem (partly because she is very pretty and smart and confident so deep down I have had doubts that she should be with someone else as guys have always paid her attention and see her as being attractive). It took real struggle and facing these hurts and doubts to finally just let go of it all and realize I only have control of myself, and so the best decision is to be the best version of me, not compare with others, and seek optimal results and my own happiness, and that's when our relationship actually really improved in every way. And yes, married men also appreciate Courtney and the female perspective that often our wives will not give us or we feel awkward to ask. :) I like Courtney because though she is pretty and smart, she is honest and humble. Hope she inspires more girls and women to be like her and not follow the Kardashian example or the opposite extreme where some women do not even try to be pretty or think being pretty is something bad or superficial. Both sexes appreciate people who are clean and healthy and seek to be attractive inside and out.

[@jeffbranchick1516]

Profoundly well stated commentary JD. Forward progress to you sir.

[@waynerandles6126]

Thanks Courtney for keeping us up to speed, this secret women’s business is a tricky thing to get right but we’re not giving up!

[@noumenon3020]

One of the things that I struggle the most with regarding confidence is how often confidence in others, especially other men, is unearned and disproportionate to their actual skills. It’s a direct result of the Dunning-Krueger effect. I have dealt with so many brazenly confident men who were in fact incompetent and unbefitting of their confidence. It isn’t cockiness - it’s genuinely them believing in themselves more than they should. Meanwhile, those who truly have a lot to be confident about doubt themselves frequently to keep their own expectations in check. So, I’ve been careful to measure my abilities and value when expressing my confidence to ensure it’s proportional and earned. This is getting easier as I get older, but ladies…just because a man appears confident doesn’t at all infer that he’s earned it. You have to look deeper unless it’s not really important to you and you just want the feeling that he’s confident - which is what I think it most often comes down to for short term flings, but not long term stability.

[@Kyosti5000]

Thank you dear for the things you told. I guess confidence is something I still need to work with. I do think I can check the rest of them. I know I seem quite confident outside but my wife knows the constant struggle I have inside. We've been married for 15 years or so but I do think spouses really need to work on themselves so that they can keep enjoying each others company.