CPTSD or Borderline PD? (or Covert Narcissist, or Psychopath, or...)?

I am working on reconceiving of BPD and NPD as post-traumatic disorders, as REACTIONS to CPTSD which involve dysfunctional attachment, dissociative self-states, arrested development (infantilism), cognitive deficits, emotional and affective dysregulation.
Buy most of my books in Amazon www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

[@flamingo690]

In a relationship, denying the partner the love, affection and attention they require is a boundary breach. If you can't love someone the way they wish to be loved, you have to be clear about it so that they can make an informed decision about it.

[@F1aming01]

Asymmetric love is commonplace nowadays. The normalization of these relationship dynamics further enforces exploiting behaviors and justifies them. Abuse becomes easy to miss and is guided under false pretenses, forged promises, and deliberate lack of clarity. Which as you pointed out also manifests as retraction, denial, and withholding to insidiously encroach boundaries and groom. It feels esoteric to know and observe this. Thanks for this comment, it is not without pain that this knowledge is learned.

[@Mima4Him2]

If the partner “wishes to be loved” via excluding one’s interactions with family and friends, pets, personal interest, and attempts to minimize contact with the outside world… then You perform a kindness by not feeding their need for “love” and affection and attention. In our perverse western culture the word LOVE is a catch-all for feeding one’s own self-love at the expense of others. As for wishes… it would seem a better alternative to be grounded in reality, seeking and speaking truth, and walking in personal integrity then squandering our precious life “wishing”

[@kmac1480]

We actuate our wishes goals and needs, moving fantasy and longing into concrete reality by interacting with the world- most specifically by contracting with individuals, never more codified then when we partner in a " romantic relationship " . It is a contract in every way.

[@thenecessitarian]

If you can't make your significant other a priority but they can make you theirs then you have no business dealing with intimate relationships. Sorry to say but friends and family and interests take a back seat when it comes to raising children. Well, At least in a capitalist society this is all the case.

[@areuarealman7269]

​@@thenecessitarianyou can't force love even in family or whatever love is I honestly don't know I know hate and everyone does that well so I'm good .

[@daughterofsekhmet81]

I have CPTSD and my only symptoms that _don't_ overlap with BPD are suicidal ideation, fear of abandonment, and self-harm(though you could probably count my skin-picking as unintentional self-harm). I've long thought that the only reason some people get a BPD diagnosis and others get CPTSD are core differences in their underlying personalities that affect how they react to past trauma. Someone else might fear being alone and be dxed with BPD, while I'm fine with being alone and would never talk someone into staying with me, so I get dxed with CPTSD, etc

[@Tagurrit]

Similar issues without the extremes.

[@themodernmeditator]

This is really interesting, thank you. One of my sisters was diagnosed with CPTSD, the other with BPD. I've not been 'diagnosed', but have been treated for complex trauma. We have all experienced domestic violence and others forms of abuse. The abuse is generational - I see these certain behaviors in my uncles, aunties, and cousins stemming from their parents. I myself have suffered horrible nightmares (where I've woke up crying and screaming in a child like state curled up in a ball), flashbacks (where I am triggered and have relived the moment all again as if it were in the present), dissociation, and emotional dysregulation. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, it's so terrifying. I've spent hundreds of pounds on various therapies to get help and thankfully now I am in a good place where I can be around my family and not be triggered into a flashback and feel like I'm going to die (although my nervous system still gets fired up and tired from being around the dysfunction). I've suggested to my parents about therapy, but it didn't go down too well - they think they are fine how they are, although they clearly have symptoms and behavioral traits of CPTSD, BPD, NPD. My dad was in the army (and his dad was in the army) and I think this had quite an effect on him. I've had to accept that they will not change and move on with my life. We cannot change anyone. Only ourselves. x

[@yourpetyourway]

I have complex ptsd from being left with a mentally ill mother (schizophrenia) until I was 8. I was abused and neglected, no nurturing, no food and lots of trauma. Eating gum out of the ashtrays in the apartment building I was running around in by myself as young as 3. That was a war. Then i moved with my dad and his sexually-off girlfriend and they psychologically abused me. It finally ended with the deaths of my mom and dad.

[@colorfullyme]

"I am working on reconceiving of BPD and NPD as post-traumatic disorders, as REACTIONS to CPTSD" This seems so obvious to me, and it is infuriating how people are so quick to demonize some people and victimize others. I am glad there are people like Prof. Vaknin in the psychology field who recognize the ridiculousness of this. I personally think basing diagnoses on symptoms is inherently a flawed system, and focusing instead on identifying core wounds and core painful thinking patterns would be much more helpful to most patients. But scientists and patients like putting people in boxes... I do think semantics matters though. The name "borderline personality disorder" for example needs to change. How can a condition that is linked to trauma in the vast majority of cases be considered a personality disorder? The behaviors and thinking patterns are not representative of a person's personality, but rather all of their emotional triggers and defense mechanisms. I think of personality rather as a person's values, humor, interests, behavior when not triggered, etc. Edit: I highly recommend the work of Marsha Linehan, who was diagnosed with BPD at a time when it was viewed as basically untreatable. She was understandably unsatisfied with that view and sought her own solution. She developed DBT, which is a form of therapy rooted in mindfulness.

[@godisnotinvisible]

Excellent comment

[@honuk435]

I'm hesitant to entirely abandon the 'personality disorder' descriptor in borderline because borderline appears to be severe enough that those emotional triggers and defense mechanisms replace personality almost entirely. They supercede it. Which is why -- though the causal chain may be reversed, not for me to say -- one of the core symptoms of BPD is a lack of sense of self. It is undoubtedly a reaction to trauma, but the totality of it is relevant.

[@colorfullyme]

@@morganmayfair4755 Well well well. That is my exact situation. And the "banished" parent committed suicide when I was a teen. I indeed exhibited many symptoms of BPD, but after years of therapy, separation from my other parent, healthy relationships, and spiritual experiences, I am doing great and would not be diagnosed at all :D My therapist and I talked about BPD, but I am so grateful she never put that label on me. Breaking out of that box might have been as hard as the healing itself... What specifically led you to this conclusion though? I am really curious.

[@colorfullyme]

@@morganmayfair4755 Thank you for sharing your insights and experience. Was your dad the banished parent or the emotionally incestuous?

[@colorfullyme]

@@morganmayfair4755 and how is your relationship with your mom these days?

[@hajoocassim4231]

Your videos have helped me immensely to understand a bit about myself and my family of origin. Thank you so much for your time and investment in the videos.

[@corajohnson2219]

Professor Vaknin, I would still love if you made an updated video on lack of object constancy in people with BPD. I imagine the concept is way more sophisticated than current literature laments. Thank you.

[@mostthegames3723]

Fanfreakintastic. Thank you so much for making these vids. The more I watch your vids the more I am able to put the pieces together. You provide wonderful clarity.

[@solveigrose5537]

I demand a series on cptsd related conditions- please!🙏🏻👍

[@minnamahlberg3804]

I'm a woman with CPTSD, I've been in a relationship with a male NPD. Been told I'm a BPD which was a huge misdiagnosis. Thank you for your videos, Sam Vaknin. I really enjoy your logical reasoning and your deeply introspective thoughts and views. Your videos are very fascinating, they keep my mind stimulated and they're so close to my life it's fascinatingly odd

[@timefortee]

@@Johannastairwellstudio Sorry, "the most sensitive and intelligent" people are NOT in cluster B (cluster C, if anything), the contrary is closer to truth as concerns the sensitivity (as for intelligence, it is like any other). What a selfish and ignorant thing to assert.

[@karinteeples6517]

@@timefortee truth! I’m a BPD and while there is empathy involved, really we’re very bat shit crazy!!! We can’t regulate our intense overwhelming emotions and manipulate to halt abandonment. A lot of these cluster disorders, they romanticize their illness. And are in denial of what their illness really is. Narcs love us because our intense unregulated emotional state gives the Narc supply and allows him to feel something anything. 😂

[@MartinzW]

Is it truly misdiagnosis once you listen until end of the video? Overlaps across various studies indicate that it may be the same thing with some variances in terms of how you reacted to trauma. So my understanding is that it wouldn't be "huge misdiagnosis", just not accurate to you due to poor definitions, especially if you were attributed fear of abandonment but you definitely know you don't have that.

[@saramilena.]

@@MartinzW yess i agree, the video says otherwise like is almost the same so it's not a huuuge misdiagnosis 👁️👄👁️

[@seriouslystop]

I agree conceptually with the idea that people who label themselves "empaths" and take no responsibility for the abusive dynamic, that these people *could* be classified as covert narcs. However, take into account that these people are searching for help, for answers, for understanding.... online. They may very well have the capacity to see their maladaptive behavior, but they are having a victim script shoved down their throats by many of the "leading experts," people they trust to be knowledgeable, to guide them.

[@karinteeples6517]

Nah they thrive on victimhood. It feeds their ego

[@seriouslystop]

@@karinteeples6517 It feeds the ego of a covert narc. What I'm saying is that not all who get swept up in the "empath" culture are actually covert narcs. Many are people who are lost and hurting, and they end up turning to the internet for help-only to lured in by the countless "life coaches" preaching about empaths vs narcs. I bought into it (somewhat, something always felt a big off) when I was leaving my ex and utterly devastated. In time, a few months maybe, I was able to see through it and start seeing clearly again.

[@vaibhavdwivedi8860]

Love your work man. I am no authority but you sir are the best KZbin has to offer on mental health. I wish you more success. Spreading your words further. Thank You.❤

[@btaylor1264]

I'm borderline and I hurt people and I don't remember it. I come back to reality, seemingly only a few seconds from my last memory, with people in different positions, with different expressions on their faces, and with a stunned attitude.

[@Colorcrayons]

@John Smith thats horrible advice. He should be ostracized or self impose isolation? Please stay away from the psychiatric field if you actually feel that way. Humankind need more compassion based on positive reinforcement, rather than imprisoning someone based on their unfortunate behavior.

[@ririimari]

This sounds like narcissistic amnesia.

[@PutuPaulina]

How can i point that out to someone who has BPD?

[@RumiRose12]

@@PutuPaulinause “I” statements. Nonviolent communication

[@tamarshaddeau1733]

I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

[@samvaknin]

Blessed she who believeth.

[@spiralcat6376]

I can pretend I am not my trauma until I am re-traumatized in even the tiniest way that relates to the original trauma. So, you know, pretty much every day.

[@jessicapoepping]

Oh good, at least I'm not alone💙🙄😉💚

[@veronicagraham915]

Childbirth can cause trauma. I'm still digesting the idea that if we have good social support and attachment then PTSD does not occur. I've talked about childbirth trauma as a trifecta of pre-existing factors + boundary violations during the birth + low social support afterwards.

[@unstoppableotter6156]

What are typical boundary violations during birth, how do you prevent or limit it?

[@veronicagraham915]

E.g. performing vaginal exams without asking; patronising communication; physical restraint; applying variousroutine procedures or administering medication without consent (and in the absence of a life threatening emergency, of course); separating mother and baby before they've met or in the first hour...lots of things. And of course, less common, there can be outright abuse. E.g. Insults, physical violence. But that's next level, most violence in obstetric care is structural.

[@veronicagraham915]

@@unstoppableotter6156 prevent or limit- change the discourse between women, educate providers, promote biopsychosocial care models, continuous care from a midwife, GP back up and ob-gyn monitoring integrated, but intervention reserved for pathology.

[@unstoppableotter6156]

@ Veronica Graham thanks for sharing this information. All of this makes sense. I wish more of this was widely known. This may be naive but, Do you think the natural child birth process is best for mother and child? Does a c-section avoid some of these issues? My layman’s understanding is that the c section is scheduled and quick compared to natural, so maybe less chance for trauma?

[@veronicagraham915]

@@unstoppableotter6156 generally, no c-section is not a good substitute. Natural childbirth produces a hormonal cocktail and a range of physiological effects for both mother and child that can't be replicated. It can be euphoric and empowering for the mother, milk production is likely better, esp first time, there are impacts on the child's 'start up', respiration, immune function, etc. Also no antibiotics, synthetic hormones etc. Less theatre time, more control and intimacy, birth is part of women's sexuality. A good natural birth, she can be up and taking a shower, having a sandwich in an hour. C-section is major surgery, and generally rehabilitation physio etc is inadequate. That said, c-section absolutely has its place and women should have the right to choose, including for psychological reasons. Problems arise if doctors recourse to instrumental extractions to lower c-section rates. You can lower c-section rates by fully supporting biopsychosocial needs in labour, but c-section will still be necessary, optimising its use is the trick, and clearly doctors have to be on board. It's not helpful if doctors don't understand the cost of lost natural birth, and only see the benefits of c-section. The trauma comes largely from loss of control and dehumanization at an intimate and vulnerable and very significant moment for identity.

[@justwatching2302]

That series would be much appreciated, thank you. What a rabbit hole all of this is and the more you learn the more hopeless their plight seems to be. And the solving the puzzle part and pulling these people out is non existent as far as medical and its frustrating. Also my ex used the PTSD victim bit to smokescreen her narcissism/jezebel.

[@chirilapaul]

Thank you, Sam! These two last talks absolutely rock!!!

[@awakingme5336]

Thank you, I very much enjoyed listening.

[@nikolecq]

Authentic and raw - thank you!

[@suzanneschannel1]

Fascinating and informative, as always! I like how you went down the rabbit hole, by exploring all the various studies on this topic but then reined it all in by simplifying all of the possibilities of the disorders to their true essence and foundation: TRAUMA.

[@tabbypsaric9079]

Thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you. Wishing you a prosperous 2022. 🙂

[@zanetastepankova6448]

I just love your sense of humour and intelligence ❤.

[@marhernanz4027]

thanks for your honesty despiste being painful .The most of mental health professionals hide this information behind their notes when they diagnose their patients. Some of them want to know exactly what happens in their lifes and try to grow .Thanks once more.

[@saschafarnell7717]

This is the video I have been looking for. I’m seven minutes in, with university essays due, but can’t turn this one off until it’s finished. I’ve been eager to hear your views on BPD vs C-PTSD.

[@samvaknin]

Search the comorbidities playlist.

[@Dagaleeoromo]

Refugees of war should be included in PTSD discussions more

[@Dagaleeoromo]

Trafficking victims, torture victims / political prisoners.

[@triciabiskit6642]

Delightfully antagonistic. Engaging or enraging, but always informed and authentic. Damn you. You are right yet again. Too many internet Joan of Arcs (cue Prof V holding wine glass, arching eyebrow and saying...Joan of Narc?) who seem to prefer fetishizing the narc's villiany to fixing our broken Cluster B boundaries. You have been exactly the clinical tonic for we struggling to understand how to move from fearing the predator to forgetting the parasite. And we love to hate you for it. But we can't deny the vigor of your rigor in clinical knowledge. You remind me of what a European scientific colleague once told me about research....."In God we trust. All others must show data." Thank you.

[@janejeffery2615]

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! amazing explanantion!

[@Dagaleeoromo]

Throughout and after watching each of his videos I'm always going: WOOOW!! I pause and rewind multiple times each video to properly absorb what he says too cos it hits deep

[@LurkingLinnet]

Wonderful insight! Thank you professor for breaking it down so gracefully.

[@thejewelledchalice-joolswi9563]

Thank you Sam. This has helped me understand my family's pattern so very much more than I used to

[@ralphyulo3175]

Great intro , always captivating information. 👍

[@jamiederksen3950]

I respect everything you're saying about BPD. I am diagnosed BPD and over my 5 years of research I've wondered about the "quiet borderline" and the fact that they don't and can't deal with confrontation. I think I've read this in relation to another diagnoses as well but can't remember which one so I'll leave it at thta. My point is, there is so much junk "science" out there it's pathetic. So, it's nice to hear a scholar such as you agree with my own thoughts on mental health. Thank you

[@maryjbara42]

Thanks Sam I am a mental health practioner and l very much appreciate you straight talking 👍

[@AprilSunshine]

I hope and pray that CPTSD truly is as rare as you say. No one deserves to feel like that.

[@MM-pl6zi]

Having CPTSD myself, I doubt it is nearly as rare as he states.

[@dawnrenee611]

@@MM-pl6zi I don't buy his dismissal of C-PTSD for non-war veterans, either. But since he's a diagnosed narcissist himself, I doubt anyone is going to be able to convince him he isn't right (and the rest of the world is wrong... Lol!).

[@RookAdmirer]

​@@dawnrenee611is he diagnosed narc?? I kinda got that impression from him

[@catherinemacleod346]

It has been enlightening, to say the least, to listen to your lectures both from a practioner perspective and an experience perspective. I have noted some of your reading list to continue my exploration on the subject. The human psych is complex and dynamic, your lectures demonstrate the complexities of the human state, trauma and personality connections. thank you. I am a layman but have been absorbed by the information you share. Grateful for the free access. best wishes

[@reneesqueeze]

My inner wisdom agrees with the final conclusion of this video. I have noticed that the more I describe events to myself in the victim mentality the more emotionally disregulated and self-centered I become. I have developed a revulsion to people with BPD traits and narcissist traits.... which is also tied to a fear of my own emotions. Now it makes sense to me that the revulsion is a protection against having my (usually stable) sense of self get hijacked into becoming more of an angry reaction to an abusive person than a "self". And it makes sense to me, as a traumatized person with lifelong anger and anxiety issues... that my trauma brain is not so different from BPD, narcissist, or psychopath brains... it is the role I played in my family's psychodrama, in society (and my own decisions, my own re-framing of reality) which have pulled me towards codependency instead of in the other directions.

[@WhiteBirdMustFly1]

Being youngest of 9, the baby of the family, I was gossiped about and blame shifted onto by twin brothers, a year and half older. 6 of my siblings use me as their scapegoat. Claim that I did and still do, what they did. All I needed to know was that I was innocent if what they were saying, I knew they lied, placing blame on me, even if I wasn't there for it to happen. I was born, to end up being lied about, aspirin poisoned, not allowed to be hurt and cry without being shamed that I was a fake. I needed my Mother, but was put into my Fathers care to be his Head of His Household age 10 on. Lies were told in court to smear my Mother's ability and character in error. The Attorney for my Father in court used me to witness against my own mother, with a Yes, but...and cut me off to only a positive response, when it needed more words to describe why it was a Yes, answer with a reason that would have cleared my Mother. Nobody cared about the truth. This causes trauma of the worst kind. Was not fair or correct. Since, I NEVER trust attorneys!

[@desibeverage9702]

I share this outlook of my experience. It’s about four years into trauma therapy diagnosed as cptsd for me. One thing I noticed is the baseline of a person is patterned with their diagnosis. So if you normally function as cptsd, then that’s likely your diagnosis but we all can present these traits across the spectrum of trauma related disorders etc.

[@Jenny11Christine86]

I was diagnosed with BPD at 27. I am now 34. Not taking medication as I don’t want to. I have been saying for years that I am not anything “labeled” I am sure that BPD is basically a series of traumatic events manifesting into pretty much brain damage in the way of thinking. So.. medication can do what? 🤣 We should just take medication.. the best medication is knowledge

[@The1966chevyvan]

Try THC

[@StephenGamboa]

I have noticed that this is a very common statement for people to make (who have been diagnosed with BPD). They can’t differentiate between a diagnosis of a disorder and also being a unique person. They struggle tremendously with having a sense of who they are, so when they are given a diagnosis of having BPD they have a strong impulse to reject that because they are consumed with the fear that people will only see them within the confines of a disorder/label that is stigmatized. They see things in black/white or all/nothing.

[@blackspace5342]

You're right about the virus in the pandemic question could you do a video about the generational Curse Breakers such as myself who are speaking out about the abuse in my case incest by the father which has gone back through the generations same story however as a curse-breaker I have been banished by the family and intern banished them also but I'm curious if you could speak about the generational Curse Breakers because I feel as if there are a lot of us out there right now according to the women I've spoken to thank you so much for your work.

[@blackspace5342]

@Rachel Jacobs Wow. Yea thats something my sisters would say- don't wanna take away the "joy" of having a Grandfather -even if he's been accused of sexual abuse by 3 women in the family and filmed POSSIBLY GROOMING YOUR OWN CHILD AS YOU SAT NEXT TO HIM. My sister is hurt. Hurt people hurt people but that cycle has now been broken.

[@moragjeffery957]

This is the best, most informative and interesting video I have seen on this subject it really speaks to me. I always thought everything was born of Trauma and this makes absolute sense to me. As a society we do demonise people with certain personality disorders over others. Having them under one umbrella would be instrumental in helping people to deal with what's happening to them. We are all suffering no matter what badge we are wearing.. or how it manifests itself

[@elizabethl473]

Simply, thank you!

[@mslillian4232]

Your honesty is so helpful you may not realize this but you are saving lives by exposing the truth

[@michelleharper2940]

I will just say thank you Prof. Vaknin. Thank you.

[@MartinzW]

This was easily one of my favorite videos on the topic. I always care about "hows and whys" behind diagnosis and videos online would often get confusing when it seemed like even respectable doctors weren't quite on the same page on this topic. So I clicked this expecting another "point of analysis" (which I am fine with as well as I analyze a lot myself) but ended up staying because of the talk on definitions, studies, how they overlap or don't. I find your conclusion logical based on my own anecdotal analysis - the overlaps felt large enough where I would just write it off to spectrum and people having similar emotional worlds. However, this conclusion reminds me to be careful to guess that the inner worlds are at all similar to mine or people I relate to.

[@mattsgames1116]

I also have SPD. (Emotionally and physically unable to regulate. Including temperature, high pitched sounds, repetitive noises etc.) I believe there is a neurotransmission issue related to the genetic disposition of BPD. (I am not sure of my actual diagnosis. I just know I am massively neurodivergent (was diagnosed ADHD as an adult) and I live in constant fear of the loss of relationships I deem important, to keep it high level, you know the consequences) every therapist I have worked with unfortunately was not able to understand this realm of psychology. I was offered a UV light and told I was worried about becoming OLD. I will continue my search for someone who is able to help. Thanks for all you do, while I was Semi offended by the idea that a war is required for CPTSD, I realized it is not for me to worry about, I do agree with defeating the pandemic that is chronically undermining true diagnosis. I do have a deep love for psychology and this has pushed me to understand the concepts as realistically as possible.. you helped with that in this video. Thank you for your knowledge. Sarah

[@pioneer1133]

this was refreshing as always, thank you for your work! I once worked with civil war refugees and it was quite blatant to see the difference between the ones that wanted to keep their dignity, self agency and self efficacy to those that rather wanted to share every detail of their agony and wanted you to do something about it. I wonder what causes such different behaviours in humans. your channel teaches me so much!

[@candiceyoung2042]

Only 7min in but I definitely Agree! Thank you for raising awareness of all that is wrong and misleading/misguided in psychology & the world

[@alanabowker1363]

I couldn't agree more with what you had to say in this video. My cousin was diagnosed with BPD after enduring years of sadistic abuse.

[@WhiteBirdMustFly1]

I believe it depends on the tools one has in coping. I was misdiagnosed and labeled High IQ/EQ. SO, I believe cPTSD is manageable with true self being stable, knowing who I am and that I've been compassionate, empathetic to the bone. My work history shows it and So, generalization of putting "they", vary depending on their learned coping skills learned and taught. Ability to face the truth is core. Tools to cope and others to validate our recovery process and actions can help change our approach to coping. We fail due to lack of knowledge and can succeed by being able to put ourselves into the shoes of others, takes empathy. It also takes work to learn lessons in life, research and recognition of our own individual triggers, is mandatory. Knowing our own body language is a must, as part of knowing who we really are, as a human.

[@ashleyhill8737]

I would like to see a series of this type! Thank you

[@1631ss]

Wow, this was great .. thank you

[@d.w.96318]

Dr. Vaknin, A wine review is maybe in order? Joke aside, thank you for this video.

[@coldcoffeesandcheesecakes]

Much needed information..thank you👏

[@jimsauvalle6408]

i get your sense of humor , i respect your knowledge and your willingness to teach , i grew up under ther rule of my father withs is a malignent narcissit,through all he putme through i know he imprented alot of it in my character , but i dont understand why i can be with no problem like him , i can overwrite empathy but i have to have a valid reason becouse my aim growing up it was never be like my father and i do move by the hurt i see on people n i do want to stop or try to comfort then , even more when is related to kids , i see my self in them, but why i can be so cold n with no heart towards certain people , idont know ? i am currently dating as far as what she has put me through on the year we being together she will most likely an covert narcissit so i being learning all i can through watching you and i let her know that she is a covert NARC i know exatly de best thing todo is to move on n i do love her yet it will be no big problem for me to kick her butt to the curve for lieing to me cheating and everything else tha is the commun traid , i have broken up with her yet she is the one that comes back , to me n i take her back she well known by me that i am daily studying and that is gona be hard for her to get her supply she can definitely still try but i will adress it my own way , i have no problem doing exacly what she has done to me but is not what i want to do , long story i should be running away from her yet if makes me run towardws her more in a sence . she should had discarted me long ago expecialy once she realize i am getting educated on it plus i will voice her shit lound and n i wont put up with her crap , if i cought her lieing to me then i will lie to her if she cheats i can go and cheat , yet she is afraid of me doing what she does , n am aware she is looking for next supply regarless of what words she tells me , she know i dont bealive a word she tells me , yet she wants to marry me i have discarted her before not for any one only becouse i grow tire of her carp , and she has moved every mountain to be with me ,and beg me to give her another chance , n i have yet i hate to be so cold and rude to her and she knows i wont fake how i feel towards her , i do love her i hate what she does , am aware of the mental disorder n there is no getting better yet i dont feel the need to run away from her , i dont like to hurt by the lies n the cheating but am not scare to go throug it i am worry on how i will deal with that n the aftermath of me adressing it , becouse i know how to hurt her i dont want to do that , yet sometimes we may get the point when we get a taste of our own medecine,,,,,, well we are planning to get marry soon .. , i dont knwo what is wrong with me , sorry for the spelling , i do speak better spanish ,lol, iknow i have some issues in my personality n i can be a narc to but i dont want to becouse it reminds me of my father and it hurts me and i am aware of the hurt and pain i can cause especially on the ones i claim to love and i dont want to hurt them or cause harm becouse it will contradict my feelings for them and my claim to them of love , if the narc in me is control by my feelings of love for certain people and i have no problem showing it by loyalty honesty comitmenmt why when i am betray or lied , n it deeply hurts me , i can forgive and grive or i can do to just like they do to me , knwoing and aiming it to impact negativily some how , will that means that my love is conditional n not authentic??? i much rader not to be the cause of pain over no ones life regarles of my needs i can be content , so i know i dont seek my own benefitr and trample people in my way , ,,, i am trrying to figuer my self out ,thank you ... last thing i dont want to end with out acknowledging that we do match together , n even before i learnd bout npd through your videos , she will ask me why i love her i will replay i dont know why , i will say you are a lier and cheater couse i cough you in lies ext so there is nothign i can pin point exaclty why i love you or even why i want to be with you ,,,beside there is a cry from with in that i dont know what it is , it is real and pleading crying out ,,n i hear it .... now it makes sence to me becouse you said is the inner child that i love n her the cry and how scare she is,,, ok bye thank you

[@jackoneil3933]

Thank you for clarifying so so succinctly differences and popular misconceptions about CPTSD, BP and narcissistic personalities. Having helped found and maintain an outreach to veterans, first responders of combat stress and their families almost 20 years ago, involving many thousands of people seeking help and professionals who have many decades dealing with people who suffer from stress and trauma related conditions. What you observe about CPTSD vs. common narcissism and what might be considered 'plain old wickedness', I very much concur as a some professionals I've known, that actual CPTSD comprises a small subset of military members who are assumed to suffer from Combat stress/PTSD/CPTSD, with a sizeable percentage of those being on the borderline personality disorder end of the spectrum. What you relate Professor Vaknin about such common misconceptions as to what CPTSD is and is not in regards to what narcissism, psychopathy and wickedness are, is essential for all involved professionally, casually in psycho emotional disorders to clearly understand. Having for a long time being subjected to combat style stress, narcissistic abuse and even psychopathic abuse at at the hands of a murderous, convicted psychopathic billionaire, I can personally attest that such abuse can result in increased resilience and fortitude for many. Many years ago your insights helped me and others understand and survive our ordeals in dealing with something very few understood much less would convey, and you and your insights stood out alone in a vast battle field of 'Mind-Fields' and a desert of walking wounded, and most sincerely, we are sincerely grateful for that.

[@UnexpectedAmy]

Fantastic and helpful content as always! Regardless of cPTSD or BPD, I wonder if I may ask if it is possible for people with severe affliction to ever gain the mental and emotional energy necessary to maintain consistent employment for long periods of time, or even to build worthwhile careers? Personally I've worked through so much trauma and am desperate to work, but the constant unpredictable mental stress seems to make it almost spiritually impossible. Ever thankful for the content :)

[@jessicaa.6690]

Unexpected Amy, such a great, great question!!! I think many people don't understand how much trauma, C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc., can interfere with our lives, no matter how hard we try! Employers often don't want to work with (make special allowances or exceptions for ) people who struggle to work consistently, steadily, on-time, working all assigned hours, etc. and dealing with mood changes or mental/physical/behavioral symptoms. Yet, people who have C-PTSD or PTSD, depression, etc, often struggle with all of those issues. I've struggled with employment issues. Not only because of my challenges, but also what others do, i.e., other women that scape-goat and a few times my older male superiors that have harrassed me. Otgers that I know that have C-PTSD or were raised by a narcissist, seem to go through the same. IDK why! Do they just see someone who is a bit broken & decide they can get away with mistreating them? I don't walk around talking about being a victim. They just just see & pick up on the struggle somehow. I finally went off work due to depression. I miss working, but my body & mind just aren't holding up. Have you had these same issues? Getting Scapegoated & such, while struggling to work & maintain employment? For me, it just made it harder & sometimes I'd have to quit that job at start at the bottom of the ladder somewhere else because of it.

[@jessicaa.6690]

@@nanabusterd Wow!!! Thank you!!! I have to check into that! I will do a detailed search, but do you happen to have any other info on it that wouldn't be too hard on you to share? Also, do you know if it is available worldwide? U.S.?

[@jessicaa.6690]

@@nanabusterd this does really look interesting!

[@jaimeharmon6762]

DISORDERS: Cptsd/Bpd CAUSES: Mother w/Npd Father w/Aspd-Absent (last contact 2001) Narc Abuse/Psychological Trauma Brain Injury (ptsd); Sexual Abuse Cognitive Development Inhibited Bullying (moved/changed schools 9×) SYMPTOMS: Codependency; Emotional dysregulation -Lack Identity; No sense of self -Low self-worth; self-esteem -Dissociation; False Reality Intense fear of abandonment Feelings of emptiness; "I'm nothing/nobody" Intense/Uncontrollable Anger Brain- high alert; hypervigilance; high stress Hyperarousal Lack of trust; Suspicious; Paranoid; Fragile self image; Good/Evil/Nonexistant (Changes throughout the day) Guilt/Shame for existing Difficulty in relationships Self-Isolation; Limited Socially Loss of Memory Flashbacks of traumatic experiences Splitting Anxiety/Depression

[@samanthawalding4925]

I am an army veteran who was at first perpetually sexually harassed and then , after begging my chain of command for a change of duty station for months while I continually endured the harassment, was transferred to another assignment wherein I was sexually assaulted by my supervising NCO, resulting In pregnancy. I had no issues prior to the deployment. I was in fact engaged, in a very healthy relationship, had many friends, and a job I Loved and was good at. I have sought therapy for a number of symptoms that developed during and immediately after the deployment. I have been diagnosed Chronic PTSD but then later at a C&P exam was instead diagnosed Borderline. I have truly wanted the help myself and am trying to learn all I can about both and I find them to be so similar. I do not have a chronic fear of abandonment and in fact I prefer to be alone. I do not have relationships with the opposite sex anymore and have not for years . I feel the need to protect myself and I stay at home. I startle easily. I do not trust easily. I feel like the reason the VA changed the diagnosis was in an effort to avoid paying benefits. But benefits or not, I honestly want a better life. I just can not seem to become stable enough. I really want to. I hate being afraid. I hate needing a plan all the time. Can anyone offer any opinions or guidance as to the difference and what I may have been DX Borderline when I had no issues prior to the deployment and was in fact, thriving. I do not want pity. I never talk about what happened. It would humiliate me for people to know. But I feel like this is more an anonymous setting where I could get unbiased opinions.

[@wendyjose1771]

Yours sounds like CPTSD and not borderline...if it was borderline you'd have had signs prior to your deployment, hope this helps

[@awilson5291]

yes yes yes yes yes to all Aspergers, trauma, and BPD (worry covert narc) living in dream world of gardening and writing, longing to rejoin the real world, I have been diagnosed with compelxt ptsd, homeless from the age of 16, due to aspergers i stuck to a routine of library and Mcdonalds writing, self published online and thought oh my god i can finally communicate with the world as the 'real me' actually just online with a persona turning my victim period into a survival story. No idea what the truth is but I am diagnosed aspergers and every day life is a trauma when everything is too loud and people are far too intense. I find your videos harsh but fair, and I love them. I am now in DBT and finding it so hard

[@fairmaidenemma2526]

Interesting to hear your take on the whole quiet borderline subject! Do you think it could be possible that people who claim to be more on the “quiet/shy” spectrum in actuality have a combination of for example avoidant personality disorder and borderline? I found this text on Wikipedia: “Earlier theorists proposed a personality disorder with a combination of features from borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, called "avoidant-borderline mixed personality" (AvPD/BPD).”

[@samvaknin]

We no longer consider the mixture a valid clinical construct. And what avoidant has to do with aggression? You could be avoidant AND aggressive or even violent.

[@fairmaidenemma2526]

Sam Vaknin I see. Thanks for the reply!

[@yamlwoz]

My mother shows strong signs of covert NPD and BPD. In this case it is not intergenerational, but almost definitely from childhood trauma. Everyone else in her FOO were genuinely loving, fun, kind people. But mother contracted polio at the age of 18 months, back in 1937. She was put in an isolation room for a long time. Only 1 parent was allowed to visit, once a week, and wave at her through a window. I can't imagine what that was like at that 'needy' age. Many operations on one of her legs followed over the years, which wouldn't have helped either. I feel truly sorry for her experiences, I really do, but after being scapegoated my entire life, I can no longer find any love for her. I think I'm largely healed of the terror she put me through on a daily basis, though there's no doubt I've been trampled underfoot by everyone throughout my life because I've rarely dared tell anyone when they're hurting me. She's 88 now and I'm exhausted to my core of 'having to' spend any time with her. I'm even more exhausted and sickened that her angelic public mask is still in place, and I spend my life having people regularly tell me how fortunate I am to have such a lovely mother. It sickens me to my core. I've suffered far more from her polio than she has, and all I can do is keep my mouth shut because nobody would believe what she's really like. My husband was a flying monkey for 47 years, but has finally seen the truth. It's been an incredibly long and lonely slog. The only way out is for her or me to die. I pray it will be her and I'll claw a few final years of peace.

[@phoebushominis5302]

Thank you for your informative videos Sam. Can you please do a video on the Classic Narcissist / Borderline Couple v. the Classic Narcissist / Covert Narcissist Couple? Thanks Sam.

[@entrotlek]

Its funny how shocked people are that kids who went through the most horrid shit dont grow up to be well adjusted adults.

[@areuarealman7269]

I'm not shocked they deny deny deny while I was committed the 1st x and now it's like oh you've got ptsd no shit ...

[@summerdaze1976]

I have BPD, severe depression/anxiety, impulsive disorder, PTSD, and ADHD. It can be hard to know your diagnosis, but in knowing I am able to find KZbin videos like yours that help me understand the inner workings of my brain. I have been in therapy since 2012 and would say I've gone from the chaotic borderline in 2011 to quiet Borderline now.

[@Tagurrit]

I was abused by an intelligent BPD mother who made me the family scapegoat. My younger sister was the golden child. My father had emotional detachment disorder. I started my codependency recovery in 1986. I attended the very first CoDa meeting. I am still seeing a clinical psychologist. I was attracted to a BPD woman about 14 years ago. I am able to deal with her without being in an intimate relationship with her. Unfortunately I’m still attracted to her, but I can have a relationship with someone else who doesn’t have BPD but was also raised by a BPD mother.

[@oldskooldriver9379]

23:32, rofl. Love your work, thank you.

[@katrina1045]

I chose not to have children because of whatever my diagnosis is as it keeps changing. I didn’t want to impart this behaviour down the line and I also have issues with keeping long term relationships

[@katrinamattison9636]

Diagnosis of severe OCD during abuse but treated with EMDR therapy. What are your views on this? My psychiatrist diagnosed severe contamination ocd,emetophobia & secondary depression. During mental & physical abuse with the narc. My emdr therapist is focusing on all traumas. Which is different from when i was diagnosed with ptsd after a near death experiance .. again treated with EMDR but they would 'ring fence' other memories that came up during processing to focus on the one single trauma.. unless they had the same theme.

[@ShaftShackDotCom]

I thought one of the biggest differentiating criteria between BPDs and those with cPTSD is that BPDs are looking for validation (avoid invalidation/shame as a part of the narcissistic constellation), while the cPTSD seeks to avoid guilt or causality for the trauma they received?

[@ausria9swan]

Are there some cultures that facilitate narcissistic abuse in their communities more than others? If yes - what would be the key features of a culture such as this?

[@samvaknin]

samvak.tripod.com/14.html

[@lisajohnson1627]

Nigeria

[@normanbelanger7785]

would you guide treatment differently regardless of primary diagnosis of BPD versus CPTSD? would either respond to CBT/DBT approach therapeutic interventions in a similar way while the "primary diagnosis is being teased out ? a patient presenting with symptoms as described would benefit from therapeutic intervention in the moment while the therapist works up the working diagnosis, these interventions suited to meet the level of crisis the patient is experiencing, independent of the (changing goal posts) of DSM criteria, correct? in what ways would the clinical approach differ?

[@_N0_0ne]

Thank you

[@jana36928]

I suspect that I have BPD as most of the symptoms and the descriptions in the videos and articles I have seen apply to me in a crazy relatable way. I feel damaged beyond repair. I have just started therapy which might help but I am definitely emotionally dysregulated and mildly traumatized. I have to teach myself how to live.

[@dryroastedpnutta6253]

Ditto. Hope its going ok

[@Alice77550]

Professor Vaknin, A question please...are we to assume that the on-going thinking by psychologists that PDs are the result of genetic/environmental factors is really not to do with biological genetics but is rather a repetition of the experienced trauma, acted out on generation after generation? Also, where does that leave us re crime & punishment? Who, in prison for their violent crimes, is fully responsible for their actions if trauma damage is at the core of their behaviour? Where or how do we draw that line?

[@beverlygilson4590]

Cheers me up too 🥰

[@blindhopeDiana]

Agree trauma leads to borderline but also borderlines find trauma!!

[@lykitagawa]

Like moths to a flame

[@ishootbishez6974]

I am cracking up from the intro! I am more covert narcissist (severe childhood trauma) but I occasionally swing to borderline. My therapist says the more borderline I become the more progress I am making! However, I still enjoy wearing the “poor you” badge...

[@samvaknin]

Poor you!

[@mreloo]

Does " poor me" really help or is it a familiar way of dealing with stress. Also being a covert narcissist...was that hard to admit...what got u to that point ...my wife is a covert narcissist 40 years it took for me to wake up...lot of damage can be done in 40 years..

[@karendickinson9398]

Thank you. Thought provoking as ever. Here’s a question that I don’t believe you have answered before - I like red wine chilled...am I a psychopath? 🤨

[@DP-qo9kl]

I like my red wine heated, and with vinegar

[@samvaknin]

If you like red wine drinkers chilled, you are a psychopath.

[@DP-qo9kl]

Sam Vaknin 😂

[@amandagillis3531]

In, BPD/NPD individuals, I understand tend to be impulsive. My question is, ❓ Do they know the difference between right and wrong? For instance are they able to, distinguish when they're doing wrong, but can't help themselves? Or do they simply not know, what is right and what is wrong? Also, can an individuals, have a secure attachment with their child, while also at the same time, having a dysfunctional attachment with their spouse?

[@urbantheatre8134]

Does the effect of early exposure to explicit material trigger narcissistic traits via trauma or mental/psychological abuse?

[@urbantheatre8134]

And how does this effect relationships as they grow

[@jessicaa.6690]

27:53 What does he say after "emotional dysregulation is a critical part of C-PTSD" in that sentence?? I can't quite understand the next few words. TIA

[@BarkingForBroccoliBG]

I'm convinced that my wife is a borderline and covert narcissist while instead carries diagnosis cptsd and PTSD and has been taken mood stabilizer meds. I think that the covert narcissist part is hidden for the most part as the name would imply because if she goes to a therapist she's not going to say the narcissistic things on her mind that she said behind closed doors during rants. The woman puts on the most pleasant lovable humble positive smiling bubbly personality to the public yet it's a total performance as if she is an out of costume Disney princess whenever she's in public then behind closed doors she'd be a gremlin 80% of the time 20% sweetheart and never really knew when switching would occur. I'm separated now and working on breaking that Trauma Bond I sent her links to videos hoping that she may become self aware and really attempt to get whatever help it is she needed for what she actually has instead of masking it with pills. I have my own codependent issues to work out myself that I learned through this experience with her. These videos are really helpful

[@lucach3594]

Hi dr sam i met a girl a year ago and she seemed excited talking to me but then she stops talking and she just staring like a robot or a doll i saw her again the next day she started walking really fast while staring at me and smirking is she a narc ? Thanks

[@WhiteBirdMustFly1]

When anyone tries to dim your light or take away your right to sleep, ongoing, it can cause sleep deprivation, weakening then the predator comes in to attack your reality, it can cause CPTSD. We all have enough on our plates, trying to fulfill our goals and deal with our own lives,without mind games.

[@areuarealman7269]

My cptsd was so many mind games maybe that's why I seriously don't care anymore its a dead horse every med a shit ton of idiots and another scheduled idiot later ...all while being broke and told I can't work or do shit ...f that I'm changing all that soon mental health Dr's are clueless.

[@user-jy4dx3ju7n]

Both my parents malignant narcissists, my scapegoat abuse started very early, the abuse neglect was severe. I ended up marrying a sexual narcissist. Seven years ago I looked into my childhood and found out I was not alone and the narcissist recovery journey began. I had eating disorders, still do, at a young age and was a chronic etoh abuser by 23. I told the professionals some of the strange stories about my mom and dad no one ever sent me for child abuse treatment. They would usually say why would they do that. Or said anything about the abuse they would just diagnose me as depressed and then bipolar even though I did not have the criteria but that's what the professionals keep doing. If it was not for the internet and those people who lack your degrees that you put down and discredit. I would not be here at least not in the same capacity. You helped me in the beginning especially with what was going on with me in my early 20's when I was not ready for society, those years do not haunt me as much with your explanation. I ended up getting married having two kids my son was born with dystrophic eb he graduated with double major and is moving to Colorado. My daughter is a mechanical engineer and lives in Chicago. My kids were my husbands flying monkeys and I thought I deserved it. I took it and I deserved it because I have always thought there was something wrong with me. I can not believe that this is my life again. I left my nursing career 13 years ago I went on disability, I had two years paid disability and I just never went back. My husband did not do our finances well and I found out that he had taken out several credit cards in my name one from the cleveland clinic where I worked, I had no idea we needed to go into bankruptcy I am able to clean and organize my house finally, i walk almost everyday, I lost 50 lbs, I am moving now before I just sat on the couch slept there too. I have done a lot of work on my own and I have tried to find a professional to help me. Since you are the leading narcissist and you are discrediting the online therapy you must know who the better ones are. I have medicare and medical mutual live in Cleveland I am motivated. I need help I do not know where to go from here. I am going to have to go back to work and I can not be a nurse anymore, I have lost social skills in all this, I am not the same person. My husband is fully aware that I know who he is. I have been changing and he and my sons abuse towards me is changing as well. But my son is leaving and he said it is just you and me. Well for a man who needs to constantly to be admired and he only his audience was two kids. I no longer admire or trust him and I am questioning him as well. I think as tOime goes on it is going to get worse. You Sam Vaknin just told everyone not to look at the recovery videos they are mostly wrong then you degrade them. Yet I can not find a professional to do therapy with that is an expert in narcissistic abuse. They list they specialize in it but they don't. OK SAM YOU ARE THE MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE YOU HAVE HEARD MY STORY HAVE MY INSURANCE GIVE ME A NAME THAT IS GOOD AND CAN HELP ME. It would be so great if you replied. How dare you discredit something that is saving so many lives. Why dont you save one too and give me a professional name that knows there stuff.

[@daniellepleffner8643]

I’m curious to know if the use of Xanax might turn a Covert Narcissist into a Psychopathic Covert Narcissist. Your videos are extremely eye opening.

[@AnaPRLRosa]

@Lee EmBee can you elaborate a little? I’m aware he wasn’t well, but is there anything about Peterson and NPD?

[@timefortee]

@Lee EmBee There's simply no way JP has NPD, have you never known anyone with this disorder? No, having a few traits does not make one a narcissist, in that case almost everyone is "a bit narcissistic", "a bit borderline", "a bit autistic", "a bit paranoid" etc. Stop creating chaos where there is none.

[@melissaknight-howe9521]

I wonder your thoughts about traits that are coping mechanisms from family trauma & enmeshment in relation to the individual that slightly dissociates into their own "safe space ", to preserve their mental health and sanity in chaotic family enmeshment environments??? These individuals in my own experience have a cognitive dissonance that they are acutely aware of & know that they have repressed and suppressed their emotions, to survive,& these coping mechanisms have become habitual behaviours in the face of real or imagined cognitive analytical danger to their environment. We live in times that demand our attention to worldly ideas & have become divorced from our own true natures for survival. In more concise terms, We are out of touch with our natural state of "being" because we live in a toxic environment & have toxic coping mechanisms that separate us as a species& cause all kinds of internal discord with the outside world. Understanding yourself and knowing yourself fully is not something that most humans today are aware of. We are constantly running to survive in a polluted & unhealthy world.

[@samvaknin]

I have only 190 IQ so I failed to understand what you are on about.

[@Ami-dk9pl]

Cheers Sam!

[@summerrichards5407]

What is your opinion of diagnosis if a person with tremendous history (parent substance abuse, witnessed domestic. Physically abused, witnesses DV, removed from the care of mom and then dad) . Then in the courting period 2 yeaes no signs of trauma and neither 2 years into a marriages. Then the rages, badgering, devaluing, emotion dysregulation cycled through for approximately 19 years. Then when informing this person that you no longer want to be with him he makes 360 degree occurs and last for 3 months so far while their partner is being indifferent.

[@SrdjanPavlovic11080]

Hello, Sam. I have one question regarding COVID. I am trying to find some more definite answer online, but unsuccessfully, and I believe that you didn't cover this in your videos: Can you get the COVID-19 multiple times? I am asking this because one of medical "experts" here in Serbia said that antibodies disappear after 3 months. And that they are waiting for vaccine. I an not an expert on this subject, but if antibodies are disappearing, how vaccine can be effective? Thank you in advance

[@samvaknin]

There are several types (classes) of antibodies to each pathogen. There are INDICATIONS that some of these classes indeed become undetectable (they do not disappear) after 3 months. Others (the ones involved with REMEMBERING the virus), however, remain. If immunity acquired wanes after 3 months in ALL classes of immune cells, a vaccine will not be effective. I have a detailed video about vaccination here: My COVID-19 videos are available here now: kzbin.info (World in Conflict and Transition)

[@SrdjanPavlovic11080]

@@samvaknin Thank you very much!

[@Justmichs]

Very well stated prof bravo! Hence there being no cure to date for the common cold. Constant mutations 👌

[@Anders4771]

I think a lot of the abandonment issues with borderline causing much acting out can alot of times be associated with just never wanting a moment to pass without the threat of not being validated in some way. No continual stream of validation or attention=abandonment anxiety

[@Eylinvarela]

Thank you prof Sam Vaknim, all my boyfriends have all of them narcisistics I'm borderline by the way..

[@TheMattjudo26]

Man your on to something here that you might not get proper credit for in your life time but that will change every thing in the way that we see personality

[@karendreger1397]

My question. If you (Sam) had a meeting with a person. How long would it take you to diagnose them?

[@samvaknin]

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews. These may be of help - click on the links: vaksam.tripod.com/1.html vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq82.html vaksam.tripod.com/faqpd.html

[@mabenstein1]

and if the trauma occurs in a developing brain?

[@trustnoone7771]

What are your thoughts on using ayahuasca for 'healing' bpd, aptsd and ptsd?

[@bebenurse62]

Is there a video that gives suggestions on how to best coexist with a borderline in your life?

[@kmac1480]

an entire channel by a licensed working clinician, complete with free handouts and workbooks for purchase Dr Daniel Fox

[@luisapagan9681]

Mrs Varkin do you have your book translate to spanish?

[@samvaknin]

No, only in English www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html

[@kellishomaker8060]

Please.. more about CPTSD.

[@hexusw.5294]

Wait, I’ll take some wine too. Curious what you have to say about me, as I see myself somewhere in between. Now starting the video. Cheers. In my experience many people in „helping professions“ are put into a very good mood by other people’s traumata. (If they’re not, they’re often useless, so this is not a moral judgement.) What I miss in the psychologic, self help industry and medical discussion most of the time, is the impact of biological factors on mental health. If you look closely you can often find genetic dispositions like immune deficiency, a tendency for autoimmunity, chronic infections or some organ dysfunction which influences the brain and nervous system. Living in a constantly inflamed or damaged brain makes it much harder to process trauma. After my small kids and I had suspected meningitis, we turned into complete brain damaged nut-cases, unable even to recognize each others faces. Years later all three of us still struggle with nervous system dysregulation, memory loss, cognitive impairment, autoimmunity and (in my view resulting from this) the whole flower-bunch of interesting psychological „coping“ strategies. Thank you again. Soon your voice will be my inner commentator.

[@jlnapoleon]

Hilarious yes I’m with that. Let’s laugh a little thru this. Thank you Sam

[@Az-gr7tl]

Can someone acquire narsisstic traits after a terrible break up after being cheated on , cause this person I know seems to have all the traits but wasn't like this before his ex cheated on him .And can he be helped and how ?

[@samvaknin]

Search this channel on how victims become narcissists.

[@Az-gr7tl]

@@samvaknin thank you so much

[@flamingo690]

7:20: « abuse is transmissible exactly like a virus» (from generation to generation). Is there any hope for humanity?