Cptsd Why Can't I Feel My Feelings |Feeling Numb Dissociated Detached

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[@lisalambert81865]

I learned from a young age that my feelings caused more pain. It was a weakness to be attacked. My mom would hit me till I stopped crying, so I would never cry, no matter what. In 2019 I had a break through and I was crying all the time for nothing, I believe I as crying and feeling for all those times I was unable to, I was healing.

[@FlowingPrana]

That’s a different perspective to look at my phase of crying 😭 in 2017-2018.

[@tiablasangoriti8347]

I feel the same way. When I was a child my narcissistic birth mother would say "Stop crying or I'll give you something to Cry about boy." Ugh she was sociopathic. Now I see why I behaved the way I did for decades. I was shut off from my authentic Emotions and Feelings. Wow.

[@lisalambert81865]

@@tiablasangoriti8347 ❤️❤️

[@davidhinkson8856]

Of course, men get a lot of that because we still have the backward ass belief that real men aren't supposed to cry or otherwise show their emotions.

[@lisalambert81865]

@@davidhinkson8856 that’s a shame when anyone is not allowed to feel their feelings.

[@Chris-0113]

This!! I've been wondering for 2 years now why I just don't feel anything anymore. Not happy, or sad, or excited or bored. I'm just a void. Not like me.

[@faisalbi1330]

Hi how are you now please reply me

[@newbie1621]

SAMEEE

[@user-el5xr4xy2l]

Same here, been already 6yrs , I'm so bored with this

[@SMPLJoe]

Things that used to bring a crazy amount of joy to me do not bring even the smallest amount of joy anymore, But the thing is I don't feel SAD... I just don't feel anything, its just like a empty hole. IDK if anyone can relate but that's how I always feel.

[@lindamcmahan4686]

Same here.

[@trudy-annsmall9600]

Thats why I end up here..feeling the same

[@simonrechner9395]

Same

[@lalak2001]

Same

[@Kittiecat414]

Same or if things do bring me joy by some miracle it’s always short lived and minimal

[@WATCHOUTWARDEN]

Damn this explains why i have felt numb for years not knowing what i actually feel like i was always just meh

[@Jessica-Jasmine-Green]

I been numb most of my life, but yes, feelings feel like death to me. Nice to know I'm not alone.

[@lisalambert81865]

No not only childhood trauma but we were taught from childhood how to react or deal with things within or outside of us.

[@HipHop-vg7cd]

Growing up in the south as a kid, whenever I was hurt and crying....I was told to "rub some dirt on it, you'll be alright". Also, "dry it up or I'll give you something to cry about". I also got my a$$ beat as well. This video makes a lot of sense, I was a doer and people pleaser until my 40's and I just stopped bc I saw how much I was being used and abused by everyone. God help us all! 🙏🏽

[@HaleyMary]

When I think back on my life, I have gotten messages from my mom and some friends to not be so sensitive and so I ended up suppressing my emotions for decades and I'm actually afraid to express my feelings of sadness because I've been shamed so many times for feeling that way.

[@susansoma3950]

You are not alone 🙏❣️

[@desirelabelle2199]

True

[@raspberrycandy1778]

Same

[@TMMT4]

Similar situation…It’s said that Im sensitive…Im seen as strong too though…Im aware Im strong but there’s this soft side in me I say is the authentic me and Im tired of the strong side…Always acting strong made me weak

[@luckycharm1212]

In my case, I started to observe myself and found that I am not letting myself feel. It's me now who has taken the role of my abusive care givers. I am still in the observation stage where I am seeing my patterns and conditioning but too afraid to feel anything. Though I feel ashamed of my behavior I feel grateful that atleast I realized this problem. All I want is to be vulnerable with myself. I want to feel safe with myself. I feel so tired and sick of all this conditioning. I want my life back.

[@djhrecordhound4391]

I'm with you on every word, except one..."back"... I never got to have a life... I want my life.

[@luckycharm1212]

@@djhrecordhound4391 Hey I agree. Even I feel this way until very recently. But after starting to observe myself and the toxic people in my life I noticed that they are the ones who have no life. If they did they would've been busy living it and not plotting and manipulating. Right now I've placed my life in their hands coz I am under the influence of their toxic patterns. So I've decided to take it back. Don't know how, but the decision itself has given me new insights. Currently working on my feelings. I hope you will get to live your life to the fullest too...

[@djhrecordhound4391]

@@luckycharm1212 Thank you, and I hope the same for you.

[@homiekeen23]

Me too😣

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Wow, this video is making me emotional. My parents aren't and weren't narcissists at all, and they love and loved me unconditionally. This is why I didn't even realise I had CPTSD and trauma until 6 months ago. And I'm 42 years old now. When I was 4, my dad began drinking. There's a very long and severe history of alcoholism and addiction on his side of my family. He would drink every weekend, get drunk, be verbally abusive to my mum (never me), and it was a nightmare that continued on for 10 years. I hated the weekends, lived with hyper vigilance, scared to fall asleep before my parents did in case something bad happened. Up until age 5-6, I made my feelings very clear to my dad, that I did NOT like it when he was drunk. It made no difference though. At the time, he was nice but not "all there" as he was, after all, drunk. So unconsciously I must have felt dismissed, as you can't really grasp as a 5 or 6 year old the fact that your dad is unable to change, or be what you need, or do what you want, or that he can't help being addicted no matter how much you show and tell him you don't like it. Add to that the fact that a few times I would express more obvious resentment and then feel guilty, and then when I was 5, my grandma (my dad's mum) died of complications of alcoholism. My dad grew up with major trauma, he woke up once at age 10 to find his mum trying to smother him with his pillow while she was drunk. When she wasn't drunk, she was great (so was my dad). One night a few weeks after my grandma died, I came into the kitchen to find my dad sitting at the table in partial darkness drinking from a box of wine and crying. I didn't know what to do and was scared, so I left quietly, unnoticed. It made me really sad. I realised it was bigger than what I thought. So eventually, by age 6-7 I stopped showing my displeasure. I noticed this made me feel better. No longer guilty. I didn't want my dad to feel like I didn't love him. I felt bad for him, but I also, moreso, felt bad for my mum. It was the worst thing for me to see the 2 people I loved most in the world fighting, and to see my dad yelling at my mum and threatening her (never physically). I was very loyal to my mum. We were sort of in it together. I'm an only child. I wished my dad would turn on me instead of my mum. It would've hurt less. I began the routine balancing act of trying to never show anger or upset at or about my dad, whilst also showing loyalty, understanding and stoic wisdom to my mum. I was also the distractor, the peacemaker, and the benign funny clown. I didn't want my mum to worry about me. So I stopped showing ANY negative emotions pretty much. They embarrassed me. Because they would mean that I had needs. And when I had tried to show my needs before, they weren't able to be met. So...it was embarrassing. And it still is. I don't know who I am. I blame no one. I am eternally grateful that my dad stopped drinking when I was 14, and I know it's a complex situation, all of this stuff. I was never expected to do any of the above. I didn't really give anyone a chance to meet my needs. My mum and dad still think I'm this incredibly strong, wise, generally positive person who is never upset, sad or angry. And I can't stand the idea of showing them anything different. Not just because it'd be mortifying to me, but I really just don't want them to worry about me.

[@jahnvigupta321]

Your story made me emotional...it is so much similar to mine...sending you love

[@ladybaabaa3294]

@@jahnvigupta321 Thank you so much!!!

[@nxmtee5117]

This made me cry from just reading your story…am 17 and just going through what you went through 😭

[@wanjikukimani8974]

Wooow,I have never felt this understood.Thankyou for sharing this.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

@@wanjikukimani8974 Aw, thank you so much!!!

[@Heather_ONeal]

I’m sort of all over the place for some reason, I’m either very emotional and crying or completely numb but the odd thing is that if someone was to ask me how I’m feeling I don’t have an answer, It’s such a strange thing to not know how you feel or even who you are, childhood trauma truly does take a lot out of you and has lifelong effects, it’s crazy that something that has the word “ childhood” in it ironically lasts a lifetime.

[@MrApplewine]

Have you considered this could be caused by dopamine deficiency? A way to boost it would be to take vitamin B6 P5P 10mg daily with magnesium. Also, zinc and selenium deficiencies reduce inflammation and inflammation needs to be low so it is safe to take B6 so it is not toxic. Some people experience toxicity with B6, which is a big topic. Taking a b-complex like Thorne B Complex should provide cofactors. I'm going to try this. B6 deficiency can be brain fog, not being present, flashbacks, poor working memory, low motivation etc. Perhaps dandruff and dry skin as well.

[@Heather_ONeal]

@@MrApplewine I’ll definitely try that & I have coincidentally been looking into the Thorne supplements, they seem to be a trusted name, which is important to me, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to give me helpful advice, it’s very much appreciated 🙂 I hope you have a great day!!

[@nji7772]

I remember that I wrote out an entire list of "emotions", looked them all up ima dictionary. That helped me to be able to put a name to some of my feelings other than simple things like tired, frustrated, angry, sad, anxious, ect. As well, people speak so much about the "brain" when really what has happened, happened first to the BODY. So to treat the body with specialized body trauma recovery is paramount. The brain is naturally very plastic and will "reform" over time. Recovery can not be done by only SPEAK. That is now known to be ridiculous in my experience and point of view. Certain forms of body work (specific to the nervous system) are awesome.

[@downhomegirl5]

I don't have this due to childhood, I have it from being attacked, I'm not like a movie, I'm just very, very guarded.

[@ryangrundy4290]

When I was little my parents were very inconsistent. Like conditional “love”. For my mom it depended on the mood she was in and other circumstances. Sometimes i undermine my own experiences until Michele says something that matches perfectly then it all comes back.

[@TMMT4]

Similar situation. My narcissistic mom always said what she went through was much more than everything I experienced and since she downplayed it I did that too…So when I feel what I feel it isn’t as serious as act…I’ll know I’m stressed and I conceal it or shutdown

[@reFocusZone]

I could actually FEEL you re-touching your own sensitive scars and subconscious pains of rejection during most of this session. It’s the same response that I’ve experienced during decades of emotional flashbacks. Yes, I too learned to avoid and ‘numb-out’ certain memories and emotions, just as you explain. The old saying that “time heals all wounds” is so NOT true! Only my faith in a living God has gotten me through my lifetime so far, the doctors and medical treatments alone were wholly insufficient.

[@Cowface]

I feel like some parents would refuse to validate even in the presence of an audience. They wanna show how tough they are and how they’re not raising their kids to be soft and whiney. Like telling them to toughen up is a badge of honor.

[@webthom]

I thought I lost my feelings but then saw a youtube vid: I create all my feelings nobody else does…I can laugh, cry be happy watching a movie so I can feel them all…my protective self is shutting them down interacting with ppl…glad I did not lose them

[@holisticenergymedicineappr7898]

It is as if someone, my mom, would still be there, with an angry face because I want to play with the big waves at the beach, or if I don t call someone back, specially an important meeting, I feel a pull that scares me a bit... I believe communication is important, patience and forgiveness and learning skills to develop again. Thanks🙋‍♀️ We are getting there!

[@juananthonyporter7441]

I had a bit of both, in my childhood to adult hood.. I felt magical moments from Disney movies.. And crushes, and Mom loving us as kids, giving me candy... And there were also times my stepdad would hit me if i didnt do my homework right and my mom and stepdad arguing... I grew up believing men are negative, and women show love, and i needed to understand the balance... Now today iam in a better place, stopping addictions... And unwiring, rewiring, and hardwiring my brain into so many positive directions! I will continue to help my brain... And number 1, i believe in God❤

[@nataliefenelon4796]

I am only really started to uncover the impact of childhood trauma in my 40's after being sued by my Mother for money my ex husband borrowed (but charmed her into blaming me.) In her statement of claim she included emails between her & my ex as proof it was my fault...reading them showed me what they told everyone else. Both of them played the sycophant & nothing they said was true... but the thought people believed them has made me shut down in silence. I can only peel away small layers at a time because it is so derailing. I lost my house as a consequence as I hired a "mate" lawyer who was only qualified to do conveyancing. I had so much proof of fraud & also negligence on part of my lawyer, but fear kept me frozen. I am so so grateful this form of abuse is now being given air time. I am determined to study neuropsychology to further prove the effects on children & learn how to offer support that will enable children to thrive rather than held captive by abusive gaslighting, blame, shame & trauma.

[@grace_alone_toward_repentance]

My mother's boyfriend was highly manipulative, abusive, and controlling toward both her and I. I still have to talk to him once in a blue moon, but I really keep my distance. My mother passed away this year, and ever since then, he's not been coming around because he knows he can't control me. Whenever you stop feeding them what they want you to feed them, they leave you alone. My mother was also demonically oppressed, and raped by demons all the time, and she was diagnosed with DID, (dissociative identity disorder). I honestly believe some people who are narcissists have demons in them. Not all, but some. We are all sinners saved by grace alone if WE believe, but I know for sure I can be narcissistic sometimes. I'm being transparent here. I truly love people through Jesus, but my flesh can take over sometimes, and I can be mean as a bull.

[@thepresentmoment369]

Wow thank you for sharing that 🙏

[@dividedconquered3784]

I watched this with my son, he and I both have PTSD and numb feelings! These videos hurt sometimes! Thank you!🌷💚

[@swanzilla1982]

I understand how my brain made me numb To help me deal with life But now I resent myself for not knowing I had C-PTSD or letting this happen to me in the first place I let so people use or get to me over the years From people pleasing the wrong person or just being numb not being aware of my surroundings

[@lisalambert81865]

Why would you resent yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know til now and no one just lets this happen to them. We were targeted and some were born into it, completely innocent of what it is and what’s wrong, it’s the norm to us but don’t feel good about it and no matter what we try to fix it or change it, but we were never given to gifts or tools to fix it. That’s why your here because you are trying to change it and you now know you are not like them and you have to learn how to negotiate these relationships without losing us again.

[@swanzilla1982]

@@lisalambert81865 I agree with you for the most part ...maybe I just blame myself cause I'm use to being the scapegoat.. I feel now ( for me ) after I moved out away I was more worried about why. Why me ? why not them what did I do wrong I just wish I would of realize back then I needed help But I didn't and wasted a lot of life when I could of been happy sooner

[@lisalambert81865]

@@swanzilla1982 you did nothing wrong, it was them, it’s not about you. Your just someone they could vomit their pain and suffering on, expecting you to carry it so they don’t have to. Stop for a minute and listen to all the things they said to you, that is what they feel about themselves, they are talking about themselves, not you. Answer this, how could you have done anything as a pure innocent child? As scapegoats we were and are the whipping boy. They hurt you, in trying to get rid of the pain they feel. Maybe done to them. You have there where for all to heal the generational patterns and behaviors, they couldn’t, they weren’t strong enough.

[@swanzilla1982]

@@lisalambert81865 You are right ... My dad was the narcissist I don't believe he was made that way he was his mom and dad's golden child.... The man had more hate in himself for others his verbal abuse was like Venom My mom on the other hand was the enforcer Don't think there was a day I didn't get back handed or hit with any object in her hand when she pulled the police belt out you knew things got real But all the pain I got from her doesn't hold a candle to my dad's mouth The guy down the road that sexually abused me at age 7 didn't even hold a candle. To my dad After putting this down into words I changed my resentment it's now for my dad my school that knew and did nothing to help me

[@johnnicholson956]

Michelle is so wise as well as beautiful. Listening to her gives real insight.

[@talr.6107]

I feel so seen watching this, I've never heard my experience described so accurately. I thought I was alone in the dissociation and shame and i didn't even know what I was experiencing was called emotional flashbacks. I'm so happy that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for making this video.

[@thepresentmoment369]

PTSD as well

[@thepresentmoment369]

I feel the same way watching this video.

[@LonniDelane]

I paused this several times to reflect and process what you were saying. EXCELLENT VIDEO! And so on point for what I'm dealing with right now! 👏👏👏👏

[@ruzicatowers8693]

thinking back, its so true, i hate my parents at the moment for how F-ed up they raised me. because now im suffering in so many aspects of my life. i need counseling of some sort. asap

[@allinclusive4943]

This video kicks in... it hurts... but soooo good to get all these explained! I recently realized, that, beside being such an emotional, vibtant person, I am so disconnected to my own emotions. Learning about my early childhood trauma, I understand my behavior step by step. It hurts so much. I will start a treatment in a ptsd clinik in August. I can tell you: I am sooooo afraid of what might be happen, if all these feelings come out and overwelme me...

[@genocanabicea5779]

Being deeply in love and invested in a relationship and tour partner or object of your love and devotion denys you and throws you away. And then it happens over again. The heart break causes you to shield yourself from future pain and avoids the emotions that set you up to feel that pain again.

[@filipunknown6167]

Have you recovered, can you feel love again? I have the same situation...

[@genocanabicea5779]

@@filipunknown6167 the past is just a record of what was. A tool to learn from. Our reason for being here is to experience a life without divinity. To learn from those experiences and move on. Yes i recovered. I learned also to forgive those who have harmed me as they were here to allow me those experiences. And i asked for their forgiveness for my reactions to them. It is as it is and it is as it should be.

[@jaimematon4785]

After so many years of always being extremely attentive, caring and empathetic towards my fiends and family I feel like now I'm just drained of it all. I basically almost now have an incapability to feel empathetic for people, when people are telling me their problems I'm just so un- engaged with the conversation, I couldn't care less how they feel. I've noticed lately I've been so emotionless when faced with others emotion, including my own. It actually agitated me and it feels weird because I'll sit there and think, " this isn't how I usually feel, why can't I feel anything? " it causes an unpleasant feeling inside me, after my whole life always being so emotional, always such a cry baby, and now when thing that would usually upset me happen, I'm not upset at all.

[@adimeter]

You give a wonderful explanation for why I failed to recognize my own feelings. I was therefore unable to protect myself from harmful people. WHEW! Thank you.

[@vjcarter4657]

This video was absolutely amazing and on point, omg. Thank you! I am not emotionally numb. My brain did the opposite, I feel and notice everything in order to keep myself aware of any potential dangers… HOWEVER, I LOVE someone who is emotionally numb and this video helps me to have more empathy for them and not take things personally

[@angelanicholson951]

My needs and feelings were not an option. I understand that my birth caused immense family upsets, and understood this from a seriously early age, so soon learned that their feelings were all that mattered. I took responsibility for upsetting them all and either tried hard to please or steered clear - not wanting to bother them, as they obviously did not want me around. Either way, I couldn't win. Shame was super high, and ghe shame of my birth was passed onto me. However, mum did protect me often, but she was also the worst contributer often. She wouldn't do anything much for her adult children, except visit and buy occation gifts for her grandchildren. This caused huge jealousy when i had gifts or anything, even new clothes. Because a lot of nasty, spiteful and abusive sly stuff was done from so many of the narcs in the family when i was alone with them, or whenever their eg was demted or they had problems, life was hard as i took what came, but protected family from family by knowing and reacting, even though i was the scapegoat. Even outsiders who heavilly bullied me in and out of school, i kept it to myself, as when i did open up a couple of times to parent's, i was told they had enough problems or i should sort it out. Hence, my needs and feelings were removed and i gave them up to lessen more blame and to protect everyone, and myself. I became a fixer, as they saw my caring and my silence from abuses, and exploited me all the way. Then these imbecilic adults fell out with me the child often if i was elsewhere in the family being used. It sounds altruistic and like I'm so good, doesn't it? Well, it doesn't work like that. If a person is an empath, they need to be taught how to protect themselves and not take on everyone else's problems, as it lessens their ability to care. If not, we care regardless, often out of fear or duty, and it becomes a pit we keep falling in trying to rescue everyone at our own expense. Hense, why so many of us choose to end up alone for the peace and not having our feelings recognised, because we kept falling for the same types, and healthy people being too scary, because of shame and our feelings not knowing what to do.

[@TMMT4]

You explained everything I express. I feel for others over myself. I tend to identify the feelings they feel and unaware of my own. I tend to trust others (more so my narcissistic mom) over myself. If they feel funny I’ll feel funny, if they’re ok then I’m ok. I was conditioned as a child to care for everybody else first. For me I felt overlooked and unheard as a child. I’m the infantilized and parentified child. I’m the scapegoat child. If I expressed my emotions it’s stop or it’s shutout. So I’d say these circumstances caused that and still it seems for me it makes no sense. I try to say that a child changes into an adult so the same trauma is there. This issue is major to me and I’m bother by it. Additionally, another issue is difficulty making decisions on my own without my moms opinion on it. I think that identifying my feelings and making my decisions on my own is hand in hand. If I don’t know the feeling I feel or the depth of that than it’s difficult making decisions. I’m aware I’m not the only one but still it seems I’m alone as everybody else seems so much more happy and healthy mentally. I always see stuff that says when you trust yourself you’ll trust others. I haven’t seen stuff that’s says why you trust others over trusting yourself. Everybody else seems much stronger than me mentally and I always thought that I’m strong minded so it’s not making much sense when stuff that seems simple is stressful for me.

[@thorgod2716]

Thank you so much you're very intuitive and insightful I must say I am emotionally sporadic at times due to my upbringing you inherit by default a character defectiveness it's almost like your mind body and soul are at the starting line going around and around and around but neither one of them want to win the race cheesy analogy but I keep God first amen and I thank him everyday no amount of money or power can buy you tomorrow only God gives us that we are powerless to things we have no control of I thank you very much God bless you

[@tiablasangoriti8347]

Good God, this is painful, but insightful Michele. 😔

[@LSMH528Hz]

Michelle is so well spoken, knowledgeable and pretty. 💖

[@cathychase663]

You explain this so very well. WOW

[@annasimon7077]

Thanks, Michele. I really appreciate the clarity and depth with which you express these concepts. The most challenging thing for me right now on my healing journey is to disassociate from the heavy load of contempt my parents dumped on me making me feel like I was a disgusting person. I now see that this was their crazy projection but it's hard to break that self-image. Can you please make a video with helpful tips on that subject? I know so many of us are struggling with this. Much love!

[@ruzicatowers8693]

and here i thought i was crazy.......hormones etc etc being 45 soon.....now i know it was childhood and my horrid ex NArc and his BS abuse .

[@eyesopen6797]

My narc ex really opened my eyes to many things in my life that I was totally shut down from regarding my childhood. I was raised by narcissistic parents. They left so much emotional scarring on me over the years. They're gone now and I'm still healing myself. It takes time but give yourself some love. Loving yourself is the first step.

[@ruzicatowers8693]

@@eyesopen6797 xo so true

[@eyesopen6797]

@@ruzicatowers8693 you're above and beyond beautiful 😘

[@ruzicatowers8693]

@@eyesopen6797 ty :) you too

[@izawaniek2568]

Michelle, Thank you. This is what happened to me. You are helping me out!

[@juliaserafiina]

I needed to hear this video today! I can relate so much to what you told. Thank you for creating this video!❤

[@cooloften]

Truly amazing explanation!!

[@whatever_it_take.s]

Can't help saying this.. You are radiating such positive energy 😇

[@epiphanychild3289]

Thank you michele❤️

[@johnmcvicar1947]

Good teaching. Point to problem (feelings unplugged). Simple example showing how problem arose (brain wired to avoid feeling-pain=coping behavior). Clearly Describes how coping behavior hard-wires brain to replace feelings-pathway with pain-free pathway (becomes default mode). Point to solution-challenge (re-wire brain to establish feeling pathway). Kept it simple. What do benefits look like? How are benefits (progress) measured?

[@QwikAdDotCom]

A huge percentage of it is nature. The child's narcissist parents were also raised by narcissist parents and so on. Some of those tendencies are deeply rooted from birth. I will never forget an American couple adopting twins from Russia as babies. By the time the kids were 5 the new parents couldn't handle them anymore. The psychological issues were just too much to bear. And the stories like this are ample.

[@carolcottle8157]

Stoicism; disregard for our own feelings was taught by Carl Jung and that's how our parents in the 1950's believed and planted INDEPENDENCE in us. I saw I would never have a child of my own because I hated the cruelty of my parents who by the way where narcissistic and the other jealous. Damn terrible and they wonder why we left at 16yrs and never returned.

[@dawnandtodd1]

Omg spot on!!

[@ritacarmelita]

Beautifully explained. Thank you!

[@ryanjantzi8086]

Wow. Thankyou. Very insightful content.

[@lindarios3152]

Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and experience with us so grateful for you.

[@ElbaReyes-mr6wd]

Thanks!!⚘Michele is an expert on her coaching skills

[@daisykim23]

You explain so well. Thank you ❤️🙏

[@johnpaul2285]

Thank you Michele Gorgeous and good morning!

[@SueDamron]

Wow!! I just “found this video” by chance!! You put my experience into words! Your words made a connection, inside me, to a place I thought was gone and unreachable! New subscriber now! Thank you!

[@candicepenland]

The fact my boyfriend's name is Devin, had emotionally open parents growing up, and is open about emotions in our relationship which has been so strange for me to learn based on my childhood 😅

[@Treezp1]

Thanks Michelle. This is brilliant! ❤ Love Theresa

[@pinkturtle2016]

Thanks family, I have many more things to worry about now thanks to you 🙂

[@redridinghood1980]

..my feelings never matterd as a child & they never matter unto this very day ..how i feel inside never matterd to anyone ..& deep inside i understand that how i feel never will ..ion even feel sad about it becz my emotions are completely dead ..i could care less if i have family or friends ..& have already decided i want to spend th rest of my days alone because i will never let another man get close to me agaim ..love isn't real ..its just a word that ppl say & never show or mean or feel ..& my entire system has finally completely adjusted to this ...i feel at peace🍃

[@a.caramfil9670]

This is one the best content about CPTSD that I have ever heard. Thank you very much. ❤

[@kilpel2]

Joy to watch your videos

[@MJay3060]

Wow! I have never thought about it this way This was very mind-opening and educational I enjoyed this video very much

[@Sarah-hz3gy]

Just found your videos. I really like the way you present your information. Thank you 🌸🌸

[@greyman1104]

My parent's reaction to me hurting myself was: "That's what you get for acting stupid all the time." 🥳 Somebody kill me 🥳

[@trxsh2868]

Ik how you feel. It's like can I please get hit by a bus already?

[@trxsh2868]

Shame on your parents for saying that

[@lebogangmosehle7948]

I don't feel like reacting when im being assaulted or anything i just feels like it never happened at all

[@kilimanjarno]

You have superb content. You really know what you're talking about.

[@AnaIrimiabooks]

Pff... now I understand what happened. I was able to "allow" feelings not long ago, and it was so painful that the freeze activated, and since, I struggled with anxiety. I have to sit down with my inner child and listen and try to understand why they feel like that. And since, i feel disconnected 😢

[@cloudslady3400]

I spent a lot of times running away from what I was feeling shutting my emotions as hard as I possibly can...until it didn't take any effort to make myself numb...feelings scare me but I don't want to waste my life like this...I couldn't even feel happy at my own graduation

[@desirelabelle2199]

Especially when it comes to love..

[@dividedconquered3784]

Thank you!🌷💚

[@tyrdunbar]

I want to be able to cry but i havent been able to since i was a child.

[@dopaminegirl8675]

You helped me alot ❤

[@aprilmg7072]

So important the difference in their behaviour in public vs. private

[@123arrrggggg]

I'm happy to be healthy.

[@olgaborisenko9816]

What if you start feeling again and the feelings are too overwhelming how can I stop feeling again? I was better off numb. Emotional pain causes so much anxiety that I wish I could stop feeling

[@ArmyofLove]

Thank you, I've understood avoiding feelings and having to perform all the time to prove you are good. Still as an adult trying to find safe people to share emotions with. Also, I have faith but am trying to step in to a far less intence Christianity that is far more vulnerable and ok to show weakness

[@rosiecado8440]

So here is the thing. I might be the most emotional and sensitive person in my whole family as well as my friend circle. But from 6 months back, idk what happened. I stopped feeling. Yes, I mean it. I had exams, and I just haven't felt that exam anxiety that I used to feel. My brother went away for college, and my parents were bawling their eyes out while I was literally unbothered, just looking at the trees out from the car window. I went out with my friends, and out of excitement, they started jumping and hugging each other, and me? I was just standing there, staring them with a fake smile on my face. This thing is getting out of hand now. I have stopped feeling anything at all. When an emotional moment comes, I guess maybe my mind doesn't process it or what, but I think of nothing. Blank. No emotions. No thoughts. No feelings. No excitement. No hatred. No sadness. Nothing. A blank canvas. Can anyone suggest what I should try to do??

[@richman1822]

I had the same experience. I felt no emotions for 8 years. Added stress and job trauma eventually caused the emotional dam to break. For me, I had extreme fatigue for months followed by anxiety and depression. It took a long time but I finally started to feel again. It was not pleasant and I am still learning to feel again. I would say just try as best you can to reconnect before your body eventually forces you to.

[@Christina__Lyasia]

That top is sooo fire 🔥😍

[@maryli2049]

I wish I wouldn't feel my feelings..I feel a lot and very intensely.

[@zion367]

Hi Michele! Do you also have videos about retraumatization? I healed a lot of wounds and then when i was at my top i was heavily re-traumatized by severe narcissistic abuse... Would love to hear more about how to approach that. Much love and blessings to you ❤

[@Hi-levels]

Amazing. Amazing. Listeming on bong im healing so much i had a fuckrd childhoox

[@andreareyestorres6652]

Not only childhood traumas

[@leona2222]

100% accurate

[@Kellyfelsted]

This was me in January. 😢 I've come so far. ❤

[@spiritualjourney1230]

I get trauma from 3 Narcist person my old sisters & her husband they cheat me with took my money but they treat me bad like they didn't cheat me,and my ex husband,,, they are cheat me but they act as a victim ... Thats experience change my character more sensitive with people, But I'm working hard to heal... Almost 2yrs I meditate as and felt more better now.

[@brunoangel4556]

😢likewise

[@chrislewis615]

I just wish I could cry 12 hours a day for a month and then all this hell would be over. Nooooo, instead I have to walk around just plain feeling like a sack of shit month in month out, year in year out.

[@ka_7891]

Please make a video on co occuring BPD and C -PTSD

[@WohWoh91]

Can this happen as an adult? Through partner abuse? Because I definitely have the numb feeling like I don’t feel anything inside. I went through abuse from my dads gf when I was younger but then my mom got me back (I’d go back and forth) and my mom never abused me. But I’ve gone through years and years of partner abuse and now I feel nothing. I can’t stand it. I hate it.

[@jclyntoledo]

Yes any kind of abuse can cause that. Usually complex PTSD is connected to Childhood trauma but if you were in an abusive relationship for a significant amount of time at any age I would say it probably does fall in line with complex PTSD. The main difference between PTSD and complex PTSD is the first is one major trauma and the second is small traumas repeated over a longer period.

[@tarryngordon6909]

Hi Michele, thank you for all your amazingly helpful videos. I have been identified as having C-PTSD and this explanation resonates with me. I feel like I am on the road to recovery now I was on anti depressants for a few years before now do you think I should go back on the medication. I want to be able to feel my emotions and not feel numb to them or suppress them. Please can you give your opinion. I realize you don’t prescribe medication but I’m just interested in your opinion on this?

[@jameschambers3171]

Pain

[@kitkat12326]

I got so used to the fact that if I went to my parents for anything it usually resulted in being yelled at, hit, or told to go away or "go outside". If I injured myself playing my parents general reaction was anger and verbal abuse. If I injured my sibling by accident while playing it also resulted in being hit and it usually wasn't just a swat on the bottom. My parents liked to go for the top of the head with an open palm or the back. So my usual instinct when I'm hurt is to not tell anyone. Avoid the feeling of "needing" something. It's not that important anyways. (In my head) I'm in my 30s now, I know I'm pretty numb, a bit detached from emotions and feelings and feelings of others. I can see when someone is hurting but I just don't have the ability to give them what they need. Maybe an " awe, that's too bad." At that point it's just better that I don't engage with what I see. I'll just make it worse by coming off as harsh. Now it's been so long that I don't know if I want to reconnect with my feelings. Feels a little late.

[@jameschambers3171]

Amen

[@dalegribble4308]

❤️❤️

[@joslynrose7135]

I got a cat. I’ve wanted one for years. Since mine was taken when I was little. I got one. And I felt absolutely nothing. I don’t feel anything at all. Except annoyance about the things the cat keep scratching and breaking. I’m mad at myself. I’ve wanted one forever but I didn’t even feel happy when I got it.

[@devilisbackk]

Michelle ❤️❤️ 😉

[@pigeonhawk4832]

Im so familiar with this treatment since early childhood. Isn't this emotional child abuse?

[@princeneal3108]

I don't have feelings anymore

[@theresakaplanamuso6342]

Bingo

[@DamyanTenev]

Western world hate feelings and supress then in favour of efficiency.Ofcource when feelings are supressed the person can develope all kinds of issues that are so conviniently called "disorders" and because the system or "humanity" is so glorious and caring will come out with the "solution",psychology for example that has "normalizing" function.I notice that the fashion is to help "the victim" of abuse but rarely to treat the abuser,because its "normal" and standart behaviour to be tough minded and abusive(strong),but to have feelings is seen as weakness