No Contact: They Feel Your Absence Deeply

[@amandam2238]

I've been doing the creative healing course and it is amazing. It has given me something to focus on instead of my break up. I hope that if i have to lose the person i love most of all, then if i can at least learn, then it won't all be in vain.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

So glad you’re loving it! And thanks for sharing your experience! It means a lot when people doing it say it! It really will change your life! 💪

[@amandam2238]

@CoachCraigKenneth it came with the Knowledge Workbooks as well. Can't wait to start them too. I don't want to run out of course material :)

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

The Creative Healing Course alone you could work on for 6 months. Workbooks 1-10 cover 97 videos and it’s almost 600 pages. So you will have plenty of material to keep u busy for a looooong time 🙂

[@mfitzy100]

No contact is about YOU not them- focusing on your life goals and purpose

[@bguy86]

100% truth , wish these relationship coaches would explain that , because not all exes come back especially if they moved on fast . They’re using someone to get over you , or that person has been in the background for a long time .

[@mhaas281]

​@@bguy86 he never said they all come back but many do. Each situation is different.

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

I just adored Margaret........she was always digging and finding research and sharpening her blade. And she had that sweet, comforting grandma vibe about her......I'm glad you all call those videos the "legacy" videos because they truly are just that and is a wonderful way to honor her.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

She was even more incredible in person! Her knowledge on so many subjects was incredibly inspiring. I tried to soak up everything like a sponge

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

@@CoachCraigKenneth the beautiful part is you have so much on tape that will always be there to reference and to look back fondly on

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Over 500 videos with her 🙂

[@shaharmoskovich4794]

We miss Margaret She will always be part of us. I lost my mom from cancer that was devastating to me. And the lose of margaret. I had to deal with lots of grief The last 2 years Surely it had an effect on my relationship.

[@jiyanachiragprajapati1177]

Your videos are really helping me .. and to some extend things are working but slowly 😊 I am glad that we all are blessed with You all ... Missing Margaret ❤​@@CoachCraigKenneth

[@megarancher91]

There are people out there who switch partners like nothing. They end relationships like nothing and always see the faults in the other person, not themselves. I used to think they would be capable of feeling my absence, but I'm confident this isn't the case. It was always about them and their needs, not anyone else's. Harsh reality of the world we're living in...

[@Freudster21]

These are people with cluster B disorders or tendencies. They are able to devalue you and there is a switch that goes where you are all black. They are able to sever the bond just like that, with no issue. You will see them jump into a rebound very quickly or even line up partner with a monkey branch first prior to the breakup. Never take one these people back. You will long for them due to a trauma bond for a while. Just let time do its thing and stay as busy as you can. Remember the future you had in your mind is no more, this is a tough pill to swallow, and it hurts. Causes anxiety. But if someone can just drop you like nothing, they never cared for real. They had just idealized you and now they don’t.

[@GTDpowah]

Victoria has such a soothing voice. I really like hearing her speak.

[@mhaas281]

Right. She should get into reading bedtime stories

[@benjaminnielsen4288]

I'm doing my best to not think of her. She has made it clear she doesn't want me in her life, so I use this as fuel to get the hell out of her life, so I can Focus on my life and nothing more 💪🏻

[@bellahoney8596]

Day 31 ugh....he said same but um a believer in Jesus so.....and its still so hard 😢

[@bellahoney8596]

He did text 1 x but u never replied because it was all about his feelings and not about wanting to change

[@benjaminnielsen4288]

@@bellahoney8596 Bella honey, it takes time. And it sucks. And you have to sit with it. I always said I would never give up on her... I finally did. Consistent rejection made me realize it was time.

[@bellahoney8596]

Sitting in scripture 😢

[@kimikok1078]

I found this channel recently and the videos have been helping me stay in no contact with my avoidant ex. It's been two months since the break up and I did make the mistake of asking him to reconsider at the day of the breakup. I wish I reacted better on that day- but all I can do is learn from it and move forward. It's been hard and I still miss him, but it is what it is.

[@dmitryisaev5955]

My limited experience- women do not apologize even if they created a disaster…

[@vixter28]

Where there is drama, there’s trauma!! Omg that hit me hard ! My ex had a very crappy attitude and seemed like he was always angry, and he did not have a good relationship with this mother at all makes sense and he doesn’t respect women ! Thank you for validating that !

[@reneedavis7248]

The people who never come back are the ones that never had love for you in the first place. In my experience, my kids father has grown and put in work and try to show me he care but I will never want to be in a relationship with him again. We were together 6 years. We are great friends.

[@chrislim7976]

I disagree. People can also come back simply because of the cycle and stages being discussed. You want something back you lost.

[@reneedavis7248]

@@chrislim7976 I never needed any one to agree or disagree with me. I don't care what you think or feel. I know what's true for me. Both my kids father want me back and tried and I laugh at them. I don't know what I was thinking to date them and to get pregnant by them.

[@geefour60]

Becareful what you past up the world is crucial a

[@reneedavis7248]

@@geefour60 I'm not scared

[@GodHelpMe369]

I’m so sorry for your pain. The emotional crisis life puts you through is horrendous. As an avoidant myself, I can share this: you learn to rely on yourself so much that you just feel frustrated at yourself for not being able to let go and just ask for help. You just lie to yourself and everyone around you about being okay, but inside is this storm of negative-painful-harmful emotions and self-hate. Avoidants are people-pleasers, their words mean nothing, and that's why their words don't match their actions; hours of conversation and then the next day they are a completely different person. They only think about themselves. Healthy relationship becomes impossible. Please, journal your emotions and thoughts, take long walks, watch these videos, and remember it was never about you. Choose Peace. Forgive and release. Maybe even be grateful. He helped activate emotions that your soul no longer wants to carry. He activated them. That's the gift. It's your opportunity to release them. That's the magic. Sometimes, the poison IS the medicine (homeopathy). He helped you to purify you. Life is just a play out of our emotions, and really, a gift... For purification, for release, for ascension.

[@RoyaNaserpour]

Well, yes he did. I still love him, and I desperately want to help him! He has no idea what's wrong with him. He saved me from my pain once, now all I want is to do the same for him. I broke up with him out of unawareness, he jumped into a rebound. Now I'm the one who left alone with the pain of love and awareness. Please help me @CoachCraigkenneth

[@RoyaNaserpour]

I live in a country in which there is nothing like "relationship coach". We can not even connect to you "guides and gardians" perfectly or book a personal session easily. But still, your KZbin channel has been the only saviour I ever have!!! Thank you.

[@mhaas281]

Can't imagine living in such a place that doesn't allow such freedoms. Good luck

[@tinaworrell6818]

If they are with someone else they are not going to feel your loss

[@None_of_your_business666]

On point!

[@QuatticMo]

wrong, while in limerance they won’t, but specially if it was a rebound, when limerance ends, they will feel some sort of regret and loss.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

its been 3 years. i don't think they feel my absence lol smh

[@BananaPhone502]

Same but my ex still hasn’t solved all her issues that caused the break up. Whatever happens is on her. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us and cant be helped, unfortunately.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@BananaPhone502 agreed.

[@bellahoney8596]

😢

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@bellahoney8596 men have come to accept thats just how women are. it is what it is.

[@Westcoast10]

@@BananaPhone502that’s true, my ex had unhealed trauma, and for a long time I thought it was me and how I wasn’t good enough. After therapy I realized that regardless how caring I was it wouldn’t have worked out unless she sought help.

[@brandonrobertkersjes]

My emotions and thoughts just keep going up and down and around around. I just can’t believe I got dumped. The dynamic was not such that I deserved to get dumped. I was a great partner and she is not as high on the totem poll as she thinks she is…

[@HungryMonkey1880]

Needed a video like this today. I did a lot of work a few years ago which was all undone by a rollercoaster of breakups, not because she didn’t love me, but her family abused her for falling in love with someone of a different nationality. No contact for 3 months, it’s hard. We both love each other

[@k8mauri]

I understand how you feel. Same thing happened to me. no contact for a month. its been 6wks and shit is fucking hard.

[@HungryMonkey1880]

@@k8mauriim so sorry man. It gets easier, you just need to find something to focus on, it will help relief the emotion and help you think logically. Eventually you will know that you will be okay regardless of what happens in the future, as much as you may have wanted a future with that person My situation became toxic because of her family, so it has stained the bond and connection we shared. Its tough when you still love someone that has really really hurt you

[@k8mauri]

@@HungryMonkey1880 ​ Yeah, I feel like if I throw myself into work, its half the problem, because we both got really busy with our careers and weren't spending quality time (He's a head chef, was working double shifts because short staffed with an absent dickhead restaurant owner, I'm a female geoscientist who often travels for work, both in our 30s). We took a month break to decide what we wanted. I wanted to work on it, he wasn't sure, then he decided that rather than give up, we should prioritise one another, which we did (Together 4yrs, engaged for 1). We worked through it, and it was working great, he said all the right things, said he would never change his mind. But he didn't tell his conservative parents (mostly his mum) and I refuse to live my life like that because I'm a grown woman. I said you have to say something because this is ridiculous we're grown adults, so he did, his mum disapproved, and that was that. Absolute stupidity. Doing better now, it's been almost 2mths. He messaged last week. I've said nothing.

[@k8mauri]

So yeah, I get what you mean when you talk about the influence of family...

[@tapostol25]

I’m on a break with my gf for 11 yrs. After watching this video made it more clear about her depression with her mother passing. I should have been there more for her but I guess I wasn’t and now I feel the break is really a break up..

[@FiaBoomSchack]

No contact, getting in your best shape ever and focus on fullfilling your biggest dreams / personal goals in life is 🗝️!

[@MayHam-hg6dj]

"Most people are like YES IT IS" cracked me up 😂😂😂

[@carlfreiermuth5424]

they feel your absence, just as many of us viewers of the channel felt the absence of videos being posted for a few days, or maybe it was about 6 days 😁 I hope all is well 🙏

[@tanyalovett9705]

I was blocked on every platform, all because i wanted him to be held accountable for how he treated me...very sad and disappointed. 3 year relationship totally over. Its been 2 months since he blocked me. I wont hear from him again...he is too proud.

[@kaijufan2]

I'm sorry he blocked you. Same with my ex. She blocked me a month ago. Whenever I tell her what she did wrong in the relationship, she would run away from the conversation. Your ex is not only too proud but also immature. You did the right thing by holding him accountable. Stay strong. You deserve better

[@tanyalovett9705]

​@@kaijufan2 my ex would run away too or totally deflect the whole conversation... nothing would get resolved...I am glad it is over, just wish I had left a lot earlier.

[@kaijufan2]

@@tanyalovett9705 You're doing great without him. If I were you, I would block back and keep him blocked. No matter how many times he begs, pleads or cries. He had a chance to make this right with you and he chose not to.

[@tanyalovett9705]

​@@kaijufan2thankyou for your reply...you deserve better too.

[@kaijufan2]

@@tanyalovett9705 You're most welcome. Please update me if there's any change. Good luck

[@theLupeXperience]

Hes lucky. Hes with an emotionally mature and emotionally generous person. Some of us arent that lucky. Juat have to move on and find a better person like her 😊

[@cjthemvp123]

I got stonewalled and blocked after our ruined anniversary (just refused to see me). I was blocked for 5 months then unblocked for a few and now im blocked again on everything.Fellas just live your life and move forward

[@EG20121]

Stop trying to figure it out and start doing things for you

[@nickus51]

It means they are emotionally unhealthy. They got triggered and responded immaturely. Unfortunately, I have been through something similar. Best is to move on, despite the hurt and confusion.

[@benergy100k2]

*My only advice to you is go to the gym and tone up your muscles or make them a little bigger. She'll sneak back to you quietly like a cat. Change your body and your clothing style. Put on clothes that fit you. Throw away the baggie clothes. Drink lots of water, eat fruit and try to get enough sleep. Bottom line, take care of yourself and the difference in your appearance and happiness will bring her/him back.*

[@michaelmich00]

avoidants

[@girlinthekywoods]

My situation is a little different. I'm the dumper, and I'm the one who is going no contact. It's been 3 weeks, I'm ok with it. ONLY BECAUSE I was married to a Narcissist which taught me about NC. However, I didn't really dump my x. I told him that I didn't want to feel like an option in his life. And just simply walked away, and went NC. However, he is truly suffering I can see it on social media. His mental health is suffering. I feel like this is evil, however I don't feel as though his suffering is a reason to go back, I just can't go back into a relationship where I am not worth his choice. Watching you has helped me. Not sure how this will end but time will tell. Thank you.

[@christellelaboudallon9232]

Lost the baby few weeks later my ex started becoming cold & ask for a break..i detached blocked him he tried to reached out i never answer.. 3 months now no contact im better without him

[@gret9815]

I really love you guys. ❤ you really know what you talking about. The same situation happened with me. I lost my dad and my bf broke up with me. It’s so true about what you are saying about loosing a parent. You can only know this pain when you experience it! Life will change for ever! 😢

[@helenepiceno2519]

I'm married, and tired of him blaming me accusing, manipulating controlling not being the right man, very jealous too and cheating telling me he's going to get another woman bad negative relationship with him, he tells me I do t love him because I don't do what he wants sexual etc. But I'm not a fool, please am I wrong I always been there for him etc.?

[@Gbb93]

These videos are really helpful, as they give me some spark of hope. I watched these videos (with Margaret) 2 years ago and they helped me stay in NC with my ex. Well, after a chance encounter, we reconnected last August. Turns out, after we had been in contact for 3 ish months, she missed me every day too. (At least that is what she said……..). But here I am, back to square one and her avoidance caused her to run away, out of disinterest/grass is greener, or fear.. I just don’t know. I’d like to believe her when she said she loves me, but actions speak louder than words and I just don’t get what was so wrong about our relationship. We both are super into fitness, chemistry is off the charts, similar interests. Sex was amazing as well. But yeah, I flipped out on her JUST LIKE the guy in this video. But I apologized, however I know exactly where it came from… I was triggered from feeling abandoned and it feels 2x worse than the last time she ghosted me two years ago. Left without a trace…. Although I had these videos, I was in legitimate pain. I cried for the first 2 weeks, every night…

[@marjorieforgues7916]

She found somebody else and now she is on her second relationship after our break up, little to no contact for three years from either one of us

[@bellahoney8596]

Wow

[@ForestWW]

My name is Forest 24, and the love of my life, Makayla 21, dumped me about a month ago and we were together for almost 3 years. We’re from the same hometown, high school, lived on the same road, etc. She moved to Florida during our relationship because of her parents and it become long distance for most of it but we would fly to each other every few months to see each other, etc. It was great for the most of the entire time. In person, it was perfect. But she had a traumatic childhood with some issues and at the end of the relationship, she had too much on her plate and it didn’t help with her home life being toxic because her mother. She got rid of me thinking it was best for her. She asked me not to contact her and give her space. I was praying we’d get a chance again someday and about two weeks later she called me telling me she was moving back home, nothing has changed, and not to make it weird if we run into each other on accident. She kept breaking no contact herself every now and then messaging me about irrelevant small things. I reminded her no contact was her choice, she dumped me and that she asked me not to message her and I asked her not to message me unless it about getting back together. Was that the right choice?

[@chrislim7976]

I would not have said dont contact me unless to get back together. Youre putting an additional condition making it difficult but we also have our own pride and feelings. Your age is young. It hurts like crazy but do your own thing and often when youve really sincerely moved on and dont care - she will call. Then youre like wtf. Thats life. Good luck and do other stuff man. Trust me youll be ok.

[@emcarcia]

⁠@@chrislim7976 i disagree. i think he made the right choice by telling her not to contact him unless it's about getting back together since she was being confusing and giving him breadcrumbs. he knows what he wants and has the right to set boundaries to heal after being discarded. it's for her to fix it, not him.

[@emcarcia]

i disagree. i think he made the right choice by telling her not to contact him unless it's about getting back together since she was being confusing and giving him breadcrumbs. he knows what he wants and has the right to set boundaries to heal after being discarded. it's for her to fix it, not him.

[@theos12]

Great energy and sincerity from both of you. Thank you!

[@Troy12-fitnessmodel]

10 months since the break up. We now do restricted NC just to pick/drop off my child. I'm not getting any signs that there's any chance of reconciliation. I think the romance is over after such a long time not together. I was super grateful for coach craigs videos and workbooks in the early days. (Bizarrely, I'm recently having triggered low days of sadness and Nostalgia after 8 years together)

[@-taylor-9980]

If there was a deep enough of an emotional connection she (if she did the dumping) will eventually greif too and reach out.

[@deniserepar5498]

QUESTION: What if I broke it off because he did NOT see what he had? He miss-treated what he had, and I finally stood up for myself after 18 years. Will he wake up and realize what he fucked up OR will he never realize? 18 years, a family with 4 kids, a friendship, all of which he blew up with infidelity, I was tired of fighting for US and being the only friend in a one-sided friendship......will he EVER realize what he did or not?

[@carlfreiermuth5424]

LIVING with my family of origin is what's draining.

[@OlderWomenRock]

Thank You Victoria and Craig Its true about Our mental health Right now the thought of my ex making contact makes Me feel anxious He left Me 3 times I very much doubt He will make contact after our last chat I don’t know if I’d cope It would trigger Me too much His actions have caused a huge amount of stress for Me We loved Margaret

[@MsPatriot420]

I heard a coach say today that unless the avoidant is approached at some point after the breakup its over. The avoidant will not reach out. I don't believe that and refuse to do it.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

🤣 no comment

[@magdalena.8494]

2 months no contact, i AM so hurt, he is very avoidant.... He needs "space". I think he is never coming back, i never forgive him, love and hate him.. he doesnt wants kids and Marry me, he says he loves me but he lefts, WTF i dont belive him....

[@LoneFurkan-g4l]

Update

[@KatM272]

He broke up with me but I know it was a moment of severe overwhelm with a lot of things Health career future etc and I was painted as someone I’m not. I wanted to write a letter simply to state some of my truths thag they misunderstood… after that I want to go no contact, but I first want them to ponder on my words… is that a bad idea?

[@dawnforte1924]

You said it is up to the person who broke up to repair it. That is not always the case. I broke up with my bf due to his lack of actions compared to his words. He did not treat me right and I made it clear numerous times what I needed and he didn’t make any changes. Why would it be up to me to repair it? I broke up w him and am heartbroken but I felt I had to for my own self respect and worth.

[@Threesixtyci]

I think it's more about blindsided breakups.... that these guys deal with. Not ultimatum breakups.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

If his words & actions do not align, then you are better off without him. By being this way he is telling you (& others) that his words are meaningless at best. Or he's a deliberate liar, at worst. You can do better. Do not trash others, and put yourself first.

[@anthonyquinquis9668]

She broke no contact at day 38 to breadcrumb me on my birthday "Hiii, I hope you are doing veryyy well and have a nice day today for your birthday. I wish you the best in the world, you deserve it!" lol....they come back but not always to reconcile...

[@Threesixtyci]

U can think that if u want... but a Cracked doorway is still a way in.

[@waqidj]

Yes I feel like I’m dying man I fucking hate this If I don’t get my wife back I don’t want to go through This again I am so sick of this and I cannot believe I was so blind

[@ddice213]

Does all of this advice apply to my borderline ex? Will she miss me more because if I stay no contact?

[@michaelsantos7967]

It would be nice if the Coaches would address the slant that in these times, women have so much attention and opportunity with social media. “No contact” doesn’t work on them much. They can replace men easily, and many more more women are open to being bi-sexual.

[@lorenepecco3223]

I've been no contact now for 5wks, me doing the discard. But why do I want to reach out. Help!!!

[@izuku9748]

You’re silly. You did the discard. YOU should reach out. Your kind is very immature

[@-taylor-9980]

Usually it's the person that got dumped that should go no contact to work on themselves and get over the breakup. Clearly you're regretting your decision so reach out and see if they want to rekindle if you both had a deep enough of an emotional connection.

[@heatherhilderbrand7298]

How do you approach a person that is avoidant but has no idea about attachment theory. Avoidant people are so sensitive about anything that resembles criticism even if it is delivered carefully and respectfully. Any thoughts or even a video role play between the two of you on this subject would be helpful. Thanks in advance.

[@barbaraharrison824]

What happens when your ex goes back to their previous ex with whom they had an 18 year relationship? He and I only had a 5 year relationship. So I guess I don't count. He did go back to his ex, but to his partner before me. Not to this ex. So sad 😢

[@skinner1790]

so wish i would of listened to this years ago she doesn't care anymore i did all the begging and pleading years ago. but she threw 10 years down the drain we tried in 2021 to 2023 but she told me there is two much damage to never fully got back together i was hidden. pretty sure i was a rebound for her. i let her know about her dog who is 8 now he lost his eye sight. her response was we need to put him down. i deleted her number and am working on moving on but i still feel like its 10 years down the drain because I'm not the person she thinks i am anymore she still holds this horrible grudge. Pretty sure dismissive avoidant and i have anxious attachment style wish we would of took it slow last time but also with she would of agreed to cupules counseling but i should of seen the red flag when she gave me engagement ring back when we were on vacation but it was her way of walking away. i just feel like its 10 years waisted

[@kevingtr1]

I've been no contact with girlfriend for 3 weeks and today i accidentally pocket called her !!! Should i text her and say it was a pocket call or do nothing ??? did i ruin the no contact ??? Ughhhh !!!

[@reneedavis7248]

I think the reason people get back together is because both people chose to settle, both people decided each other to be just good enough. Such a mediocre relationship.

[@PlantDaddy1991]

Almost a year since I went no contact with my ex. I don't think of her too often, luckily. Anyway, I would highly doubt she thinks about me, and most certainly with less frequency.

[@LeonScottKennedy7]

Same can be said about women hating men all the time, misandry is normalized nowadays, so hate from 1 side brings hate to the other side too, everyone is talking about misogyny but also everyone is ignoring misandry as deserved and normal, true equality will come if misandry is also countered

[@meatmuncher123-j6x]

I initially went no contact after my ex of 4 year broke up with me and I have broken it in 3 days and beg her to stay with me. She told me me to never call her again and unfortunately my anxiety got the best of me in less than 2 weeks after that and I called again. This time she was very angry at me and blocked me every where. Do no contact still work in my case? I am anxious and she is avoidant.

[@MrMoet]

🕊️ to your Dad’s legacy🙏🏽

[@Loulaaa]

What about if your 6 months post break up and he's still saying firmly he doesn't love you, he doesn't have feelings or attraction and doesn't want you back? and wants you to heal.. Is it too late? espec if there's been continual fighting during this stage too and on and off no contact of days - a week and me smothering and begging :/ But on the same seems to want to know and seems bothered by if you're surrouning yourself with other men - is this more of an ego thing?

[@hobuspobus]

mine sent me a breadcrumb and then when I replied I'm good how are you? He ignored my response. It's been almost 1.5 months now. He dumped me but kept writing every 2 weeks. Now I don't know if he's ever coming back. I'm so so so upset and confused, do you think he'll be back? :(((((

[@tapostol25]

I’m on a break with my gf for 11yrs and my separation anxiety is at all time high.. I’m going to therapy to fix myself but I’m doubtful 😢

[@alinakhan8617]

Hello sir, i have a question i had my break up he refuse to commit me so i move on and block him,im in no contact completely. And after 25 days he block me.i dont uderstand what to do.

[@ltthelattegirl]

when is no contact supposed to start after a breakup? because my ex and i had issues and only went no contact a month after the breakup. and we kinda agreed to not talk but didn't talk about no contact that way. does it mean i kept breaking no contact that first month? :/ and ruined that?

[@Jlockcuff2]

Should you even consider Taking your Ex back or rebuilding a Friendship if it was mostly 1 sided and They've just been Breadcrumbing to continue Yielding Benefits. Or what are the odds that They even Reach out If they truly didn't invest in the Relationship as much as you? Will they eventually Miss me and attempt to reach out?

[@kaijufan2]

I'm going to be honest with you. If this friendship is one-sided, you're not going to hear much from this person. And bread crumbing is very disrespectful. It's like a hook and you're a fish. They want to know if they still have you wrapped around their finger. If this was me, I wouldn't take an ex back. Especially if it was one-sided. Find someone better & who will value you and your time. Good luck

[@KatM272]

Is Margaret okay? Was a great woman?

[@leah1889]

Listen to Craig. NC works. Follow what he is saying for the best possible outcome.

[@faith7934]

I see you're trying to get clients and you guys are really good. You should start writing movies, Tyler Perry has a new movie out called divorced in the black. Maybe if you watch it you could start taking notes on different movies and putting it in your title.

[@orel3087]

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago and I tried to fix things for all this time. So I think it’s getting better. We sleep together, hang out, talk but nothing more. She wanted me as a friend and kept contacting me everyday about everything. So I told her that I can’t be just a friend and don’t want to continue communicating and if she’ll change her mind about me she can write me… she got very upset by this.. so I’m in no contact for 6 days. Did I do the right thing? Is it a mistake that I told her I don`t want to continue communicating? Because she stoped texting me after that at all..

[@kaijufan2]

You did the right thing. You were upfront on what you wanted. Your ex is having a hissy fit because she wanted you as a backup plan (aka a "friend"). She'll come back around when the one she was pursuing is no longer interested or it falls through. If your ex does come back **please** take your time and don't rush into a relationship with her. Most importantly, don't sleep with her right away. Take your time on that as well

[@orel3087]

@@kaijufan2 thank you so much, I got you. She broke up with me so she can fix it, not me. She has to earn me back. Thank you

[@kaijufan2]

@@orel3087 You're welcome man. Yes! Let her come to you. Remember, you're the prize. Not her. Update me on this when you can.

[@orel3087]

@@kaijufan2 Damn, I miss her so bad, it’s the 12th day of no contact.. Still no message from her. She just congratulated me on my bday and I answered only “thank you” We’ve been together for 4 years. She was my best friend. And now it’s gone…

[@orel3087]

@@kaijufan2 I bumped into her accidentally in the bus today on 19th day of no contact. All pain is back. She was with her friend I worry about, looks like they are going to date each other. But I was just friendly, we talk a little and that’s all..

[@amoreirapr]

You guys made me laugh with the red pill comments!!😂

[@asdfxcvbn746]

11:00 a dismissive avoidant discarded me while i was grieving the death of my father. she was the only friend i felt comfortable enough to talk to about it. aside from bearing the financial burden of my late dad's health issues, i had my own health problems which i put aside to deal with his, i was depressed & suicidal. i even had a conversation with her like "hey, i need somebody to talk to during this time to get me through this" & she said "i got you" for some reason, she thought this was a PERFECT time to cause drama & discard me. with a friend like her... who needs enemies? lol smh

[@Gbb93]

I think you’re right about a lot of things but you can’t just say “if you hate women you should just not date women” I mean it’s possible to have resentment but still be attracted. I do think it’s problematic to take your anger towards one or two women out on ALL women. I think both sexes have issues with the opposite sex. My ex def has some contempt for men…

[@uniquedavenport]

That's because some men are attracted to women sexually but not emotionally and they don't understand why they don't do well with women in the first place because women NEED intimacy in a relationship in reality they don't like females also women can tell when a man is resentful and it's very unattractive so that's WHY he said if you hate women just don't pursue them if your not one of these type of men you have nothing to be offended by..the fact that you said it's possible to be resentful and still want women is not a good sign buddy you shouldn't go into anything with the energy of resentment you should probably take the time to do stuff like healing from your ex first use some self reflection 🪞 and take a break from the dating pool to just focusing on yourself because resentment will do absolutely nothing for you but keep you single and rejected trust me and then you'll be even more resentful towards women later on anyways good luck..

[@slobodanpovolni367]

This is all so nice... But... Maybe this works with normal people that don't have narcissistic personality disorder or avoidant attachment style or something like that... Then all of this talk isn't in place, because of the manipulative nature of those types of people. All that contact after longer time is just a manipulation and doesn't resolve anything. It just prolongs the problem you have with that person.

[@roseclimbpaintcont]

Everyone is always down on the avoidant. Why the hell should we open up to you? All you do is invalidate us just as we were taught as a child that nothing we say is important that our feelings are invalid. Why? When we know we can give ourselves love would we turn to you? Why? When we know we can accept ourselves, wouldn't we look for your acceptance? Forget it. We're better off where we are safe - with ourselves.

[@hsnwfl7766]

You can work on it through counseling and can get earned secure attachment. You may need to face your negative emotions. Pain is the thing aligning us to reality.

[@ThanksWyatt]

This comment is case in point why avoidants stay stuck in the cycle of their negative emotions. Get help!

[@mariannenapoles146]

No contact is the only way to go if you have a narcissist.

[@-taylor-9980]

A narc will never reach out and I know this because my dad is one and his effort to communicate does exist. He likes the block function om social media but will never control me. 🤣🤣🤣 That's how to trigger one, say NO!

[@annaj.b7689]

I will remember Margret til the day I die. ❤❤❤

[@-taylor-9980]

I deactivated social media for about 2 months rhen when i came back on and posted a story i got 1 public view 10 seconds later ..... uh yeah it fot to be her right? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@nateeschbach2881]

BUT…what if she is bipolar, and ran back to her abusive husband?

[@keydabeastgamingg]

I’m no expert but I don’t think it’s a great idea to be involved with someone who is married. Pretty risky decision & if that person is cheating on their significant other what makes you think it wouldn’t possibly happen to you if you were to be with them?

[@nateeschbach2881]

@@keydabeastgamingg She left him to be with me. She insisted on getting a dissolution, but then after 5 weeks, she ran back to him. 3 weeks later, she left him again. This time she actually kept her appointment with a lawyer. Three weeks later she ran back to him again. I think she fears him taking custody of the kids due to her being unstable. Still though, we had a connection, and it is very hard to deal with. I went from her best supporter in life, to BLOCKED.

[@c.t.martin3915]

It's been 4 months. 6 weeks ago she reached out for my bday. We had some general chit chat and it fizzled out. I haven't replied in around a month, because life has been very busy .Was thinking of asking them for coffee - thoughts?

[@ForestWW]

Take the coffee date

[@c.t.martin3915]

@@ForestWW For clarification, I would be asking them.

[@ForestWW]

@@c.t.martin3915 if she reached out initially, that’s a starter and a good sign. You could wait until she reaches out again and do it.

[@michaelmich00]

@@ForestWW no wtf, dumbest idea ever. dont ask it, u ruin every chance

[@ForestWW]

@@michaelmich00 every situation is different. My girl asked me for space and no contact and she herself kept breaking it so I had to ask her not to contact me unless she wanted to get back together again and reminded her that she dumped me and it was her choice for no contact

[@michaelmich00]

doesnt work for avoidants

[@bobbooey45]

I can tell you it does. She’s reached out to me twice. Once after 4 months, the other after 47 days. I’m on day 21 and I expect something around 45 days like she normally does If not, I’m not losing sleep over it, the train will continue moving with or without her.

[@tamarasergio1203]

YES IT DOES work. You are wrong

[@tena2013]

I wish this were true but it clearly isn't. She's happy I'm gone. No intention whatsoever to try and reconcile. I was the only one that valued our life together. Love is just poison in the modern age

[@tena2013]

@DrJensen-g2f fiance left me November last year. Her mom and new "friends" all encouraged the decision. There's many many more details to it all. She and I both hurt each other. But ultimately I was the only one under the illusion we were tryinh

[@ShannonThor.]

4 years no contact... not coming back 😢

[@kaijufan2]

I am sorry for that. I hope you have healed & are in a better place.

[@ShannonThor.]

@@kaijufan2 almost healed

[@dantenewyork7380]

a 'clean slate' letter. so corny. so simpish. so unattractive. ugh.

[@Muppet.master]

Margaret ❤

[@moahmad9667]

What about if it look like thy are monkey branch???!!!!

[@mhaas281]

What about?

[@annaj.b7689]

A very big coach always seem to talk bad about women. Wonder about his mom. Stoped listening to him just because of that.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Hmm. Not sure who you’re referring to… but sometimes they will (if you pay attention)

[@Aaron-ii2lq]

I want victoria to be my girlfriend

[@lorenepecco3223]

Shut your mouth izuku. I'm quite mature. This person was in my life for 2 decades. You think it's that easy to 4get. I will one day, but things still raw.

[@robertofranco1322]

💯💯💯

[@WoolfOfTheWilde]

PEOPLE. MY EX BROKE NO CONTACT ONLY AFTER A WEEK. He said "I just saw a dream that you harmed yourself because of our situation and I wanted to check on you if you're doing good" I was like yeah. I'm ok. Then he goes on to talk normally that how are you and all. I was like yeah I'm doing okay... And I asked him about how he's been. Then he said "now that I've called, let's talk for half an hour" and I was so dumbfounded I didn't know how to respond. So we kept on talking. But he said "this doesn't change anything between us". And then we talked for the next 1:30 hours. We gossiped about a few people, talked about shows, I told him I've started going gym and all. Idk why I talked to him normally. I'm clueless what do I do????? He also said he'll keep checking on me every week or two🥲

[@-taylor-9980]

Sounds like you're both too anxious. Heal and take things slow!!