Your Work Life Gets Better When You Heal THESE CPTSD Symptoms

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How can you get ahead when you have past trauma from childhood? Past trauma can ruin your life and prevent you from taking necessary actions to advance and enjoy your career. In this video I teach the set of CPTSD behaviors/symptoms you'll need to heal to set your career free to blossom.
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[@amillar7]

Why don't therapists talk more about this stuff? I love how macro-level this is. It makes it easier to apply on the micro-level.

[@joanna0988]

Trauma informed therapists do. My therapist helps me address very basic things like this.

[@Heyu7her3]

This would be more of a coach thing

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

Exactly! Therapy has been useless. It's either just venting to someone who listens or getting questions about your personality and past. No action plan. Only time Therapy helped me is when I actually told my therapist, here are 5 goals, help me check in on progress as an accountability partner.

[@joanna0988]

@@taghazoutmoon5031 That doesn't sound right. I've had 2 counselors and both gave homework, body/breath work and other tools to help my anxiety, enforce boundaries and have more healthy self talk.

[@CheerfulNihilism]

My therapist did, but she works specifically with domestic violence survivors

[@risika]

I was listening to a podcast that said, “it’s important to live life by design rather than emotion. Basically, sticking to a routine is what allows us to be the healthiest version of ourselves (especially when you're fighting these demons ex. OCD for me). I’ve had to overhaul how I approach work/habits by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my habits - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. Like you said, I study/write for 2 hours a day and just write uninhibited. Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.

[@remissao13]

Yay!! 1% better every day takes you very, very far!

[@editakulovic2772]

I really like how you put it. Will remember it if I get stuck in my persistance. Thank you!

[@CherylAnderson-qs4iq]

Being aware that " it's important to live life by design rarher than emotion." That's excellent advice!. Thank you.

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

Exactly!!!! I did that for a long time. My mantra was "good enough ". Just showing up and not giving up helped.

[@cgp212]

Taking this advice (as someone who also has OCD). A whole hearted thank you

[@charlieseverson3534]

I used to schedule everything, including individual task-based items, in my Outlook calendar. Then I discovered that I didn't like it when my calendar told me what to do. It was like I was a child who felt like I didn't want to listen to my parent or something. So instead, I started scheduling generic "desk time" and using the Outlook task list to track what I needed to do during that time. Now, when I'm not in meetings and I'm in desk time, I can pick from my to-do list. It may seem silly, but just being able to choose between two or three things that are due soon has been a game changer.

[@kaleyjoplinRAWRR]

Wow this is actually a great idea! I’m new to Outlook and I started doing what you mentioned initially but yeah, it’s super annoying. I’m going to try using the to do list feature. Thanks! 👍🏻

[@charlieseverson3534]

​@kaleyjoplinRAWRR just make sure you take time to customize the view to what works for you. For every task, I set a start date, due date, and estimated amount of time. Then I actually sort by start date so I can see what things I can actually work on.

[@w3n33dam1racl3]

I hate being told what to do and how to do it.

[@dayoffnow]

Years ago, a former employer brought in a guest coach who taught us to do exactly that. He said, "No more fake appointments - use Tasks instead." He taught us to make appointments only for things that happen at a specific day/time (like meetings) and Tasks for projects/etc that are due by a certain date. Changed my life!

[@ebbyc1817]

Sometimes it's personality, it isn't all cptsd. Some people like structure and being organised, others like to be free to pick and choose what they do and how they do it. Some people like to be told what to do, they believe in authority and hierarchy of knowledge. They feel better when the decision is taken out of their hands ans they just have to follow a routine. They make really good athletes, and military personnel. Others don't. Some people hate making mistakes. Some people don't mind making mistakes. Not many of us are lucky enough to work in jobs that match our personalities, we're trying to 'crap-fit' to whatever job we've got, in the sense that the job may be good or well-paid, but a bad fit for us, and jobs have personalities of their own, an accountant personality is not a painter personality. Painters don't have tasks, they just paint. They take as long as they need to and then eventually it's done, and then they put it up to exhibit.

[@MsBettyRubble]

Dressing the part is so important. I had to work hard - and still do - to look somewhat put together. My mother shamed me anytime I tried to look good as a child or adult. She was considered very pretty and I looked just like her, but she was constantly calling me ugly. If I didn't try to look good, I was criticized. If I tried, she told me I was still going to be ugly. Thank goodness I work remotely now, so how I look doesn't matter. But wow, it's tough to put in the effort.

[@EothainaEllery]

Anna, Please do more on the dysregulation at work. These dynamics are not even discussed in therapy. Maybe they fear calling us out on our stuff for fear of us having a break down or being sued. This video resonates with me as, because I am the difficult co-worker, employee that everyone shuns. I am a bad employee. I should have left the job years ago or been fired. Recently at work my past and present caught up with me during a stressful work situation. IT IS ME. I didn’t want to believe it but it’s true. Retirement is not far away and I could lose my pension at any moment. This is my last chance to get things right. I can’t lose my job. How do I forgive myself, deal with coworkers and supervisors? I need my job. I am looking for a small studio to break free of my family of origin. I left before and came back. Afraid to leave. Now I have to go for good if I want have any kind of life. Will the daily practice help me?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

The Daily Practice helps so much to untangle these problems, give it a try :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@bernsky]

Bringing food to work goes a long way to having people be friendly or nice. Not kidding, on friday grab a dozen donuts and bring them every friday. Other ideas, apologize, really focus on getting along. Good luck.

[@Quinefan]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 Lack of work, too.

[@queenofkingsbury]

The underdog syndrome. That's what I had. I did the same thing as you. Anna, I overshared at work about my horrible childhood. I didn't know how to do with people because I too didn't have any examples. My parents were alcoholics also.

[@theoriginal7727]

Gotten into this habit really bad over the last couple years, from ADHD plus severe PTSD from ongoing trauma, my family just throwing up their hands, and all the childhood stuff finally coming up 40 years later. All at the same time! Well fighting legal battles, narcissistic ex/baby mama Borderline/narc business partner. Altogether.😅😅😅😅 realize that I was doing this to the extreme, just trying to be heard, understood, listen to for once in my fucking life. But at some point realized I was just trauma dumping a lot of it, and it wasn’t having the intended effect of connecting deeply with people!

[@serenab17]

Perfect timing. I was just let go from a well paying job. I definitely know where I went wrong and should've gotten out when my instinct told me to. This is a great topic!

[@tm8559]

What instincts were you feeling, telling you to get out ?

[@ecouter3897]

Anna, please continue to talk more about this!!! Thank you so much! Emily

[@Nej-mj7fk]

❤❤❤

[@GreenWitch420]

❤ Yes yes YESSSSS I would also love to learn SO MUCH MORE about this!

[@therealai777]

I can’t express how grateful I am that I found your channel. I recently was diagnosed with not only Autism but also BPD, so needless to say relationships have always been a nightmare for me. however I’m very interested in learning about myself and I am determined to overcome my childhood trauma. I’m not letting a crappy start in life determine the trajectory of the rest of my life!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! We're so glad you're here and are all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@fuzonzord9301]

Underfunctioning can be an ADHD thing. I struggle with trauma but I also have ADHD that really ruined my education and career since therapists and psychologists have completely ignored it.

[@serenab17]

Same here.

[@Heyu7her3]

Complex-PTSD can share some external symptoms with ADHD. Big difference is that the C-PTSD symptoms can be healed away. Patrick Teahan discusses this in his videos. If you're in the US, you wouldn't be diagnosed with C-PTSD because it isn't recognized in the DSM-5

[@parklady4233]

Same here!

[@deecee7042]

I was diagnosed with ADHD but I truly believe I have CPTSD

[@fuzonzord9301]

​@@Heyu7her3 I had ADHD before trauma. It gets worse when I'm distressed but even when I feel better, I still struggle with attention deficits, executive dysfunction, etc. I have very selective focus, find focusing on arbitrary stuff limited to about 10-20 minutes at time and exhausting, I also don't handle one-sided conversations well, like for example when listening to lectures or podcasts or reading books, I usually encounter something and start some train of thought referring to it at some time.

[@miss_whipps]

Anna, this video is so important and valuable. My cptsd symptoms have led to chronic tardiness, which has cost me several (many) jobs. I would do the best work while there, but sabotaged myself by being frequently late. Almost every employer would tell me that as much as they enjoyed having me on staff, it wasn't fair to the rest of the employees to permit my continued inability to be there on time. It was devastating, self esteem crushing, and fed my self loathing to fail so many times at maintaining employment at jobs that were not challenging or difficult, simply because of my lack of discipline. I have gotten to the point where I'm terrified to commit to ANYTHING where I'm required to be punctual because I have zero faith in myself being able to get there on time; the humiliation and shame I feel when I disappoint myself and others is too much to bear. Thank you for addressing the challenges we experience in the workplace. I have felt so alone, so defective, for so long, and it's comforting to hear that there is an explanation and hope for change. You are so relatable, honest, and supportive in your discussions of cptsd. Thank you for shining a light on the darkest, most painful places of my self concept.

[@HH-gv8mx]

Are you working now? How do you overcome this pattern of constantly being late? I suffer from the same thing. I even tried setting my clocks forward, but it doesn’t seem to work. My lateness frustrates everyone in my life. I had a hairdresser who had a tantrum and wouldn’t take me because I was five minutes late. I wish I were 15 minutes early to everything in my life. At least I wouldn’t feel like a bad child when you were racing the clock just to get there on time.

[@miss_whipps]

@@HH-gv8mx I've tried the clocks forward trick too! 🤣🤣 You're right, doesn't work. And I'm always late to hair appointments; it makes me feel terrible, because I'm inconveniencing my stylist. The worst part of being chronically behind is that it communicates a lack of respect or consideration for other people's time, which is totally incongruent with how I feel. I'm sending a message that is completely opposite from what's in my heart. I wish I had some helpful insights or suggestions for you, but I'm still very much struggling myself. I always try to allot myself adequate time but not TOO much) to do what I have to do to be punctual. The 3-2-1 countdown is definitely useful as well; when I need to get moving and do something to get ready for work, I turn off my brain and count backwards from 3 (or 5) and when I get to 1 I DO IT. No thinking, no opportunity for my mind to convince me I have 5 more mins, no time for self sabotaging or anxious fear to delay my action. I DO IT. Launch like a 🚀! That way, if I'm finished and ready with any time to spare, I'm not putting my makeup on in the car while speeding and feeling sick to my stomach with the realization I'm going to be late AGAIN. I can so so so relate to your experiences and I am praying for, believing in, and supporting you with my whole heart. You're not alone, and you're worthwhile and valuable, late or not.

[@ziggymo88]

At age 34, I am just starting to come to this realization. I had a difficult child with parents who constantly screamed at each other. My mother, while very loving, had me at 21, and she and my stepdad struggled with money for years. Even after college, despite doing well in college academically, I struggled with interpersonal relations and became disregulated constantly at work. I also to contend with some very mean-spirited managers. Naturally, I had numerous false starts in my career and gave up before things could really take off. There were long stints of underemployment during that time. I can’t say that things are perfect in my new job, but I have a boss who appreciates my hard work and pays me well. I also have learned to set boundaries at work and in real life and maintain work-life balance. I’m in therapy as well. It’s all starting to pay off.

[@georgefrazer2231]

I have all these 'problems' you talk about to 'sort out'. Another 'problem' is that if you 'live' in a small rural town were everywhere you go your are known through your father or their activities. The local gossip will also known all about your family. Its very very hard to 'move on' when society refuses to let you move on. Small close knit communities love to idolise individuals. The trouble is that they 'never know or have the full story'. You need to be very very careful about sharing anything in a close knit community. Gossiping is a professional pastime for many in these communities. Even church members love 'finding out' about others. You are nearly better 'moving away' in order to 'move forward' with your life. Mamy who 'pretend' to be your friend are really only 'false' friends and are only 'using your to their own ends. They use you to make themselves 'look good' in the eyes of others. Thank you for this video. We are all on a journey but we are moving slowly forward together, away from our past. If it means going to 'new pasture', so be it. Never look back, keep moving forward.

[@daisyelainee]

Im 26 and i have always worked crap jobs. Taco hell, dairy queen, gas stations, food service, retail. All environments that are chaotic, full of drama, low pay, GMs that have issues as bad as or worse than mine. Ive never had a job that pays more than $13/hr. I quit my most recent job (last day is tomorrow) to start my own yarn dyeing business. I dont know if this is a good idea or another reckless endeavor. I tend to hop from job to job to job, realize im in the same situation again, and leave thinking im going to do this thing thats *so much better* and ending up in the same place. I am a chronic under-functioner and im worried that without a boss to push me i will do nothing. I am workin on it. Im no longer an alcoholic and have my own place now and healthy long term relationships, but the job/money area of my life is where im lagging behind. I have a plan for this business, and how im going to be productive, but i am terrified that it will flop and ill be eating food pantry bread for dinner once again. Please wish me luck guys 🙏

[@sophiafaith]

You can do it! I believe in you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're behind you! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@wittesneeuw]

Lots of Luck....With Anna's help and other youtubechannels about toxic workplaces.....You will survive this crazy world!

[@Jenandr48]

These are great tips! Btw, ADHD doesn't mean you can't focus, in fact it means you tend to hyperfocus! The problem comes when you're not interested in doing the task at hand, then it's like moving through bubble gum. ;) I use a lot of these tips and they really really help. I find that these days, I can get so much done in even less time than others. For me, getting up and doing the hardest task (or least exciting)I have for the day helps a lot! Starting the day with a win seems to set a great tone for the rest of the day.

[@nikm2045]

20:18 Eye opening personal accountability moment, i.e. is it you? 21:07 Evaluating your situation; get regulated to improve judgment & decisions 22:06 Boundaries not doormat .. change your downward trajectory; it’s just a boundary 25:21 Dysregulation prevents being honest about asking/getting compensated for your value 26:56 How to deal w/vague overstepping of your boundaries: honestly address it i.e. not dealing w/reality 28:10 Liken to limerance if kept vague 28:30 If you have to explain yourself beyond holding boundary, you’re losing the boundary 29:50 Emotional hang overs kill productivity & growth opportunities 32:00 Boundaries re: who you let into your life, drama free lives (wits & emotions in check) yield optimism, energy, bandwidth at your disposal to accomplish what you want. 33:46 Consequences of crapfitting professionally; parent child replay 35:14 Consciously seek out a healthier work family dynamic instead 35:54 We want to use or gifts, talents, be fulfilled, feeling good about doing the best job you can do. To make that experience as successful as you can. The parent child dynamic prevents this 36:38 Be brave about envisioning a step forward, up, and out 37:13 Surround yourself w/ppl who get it; freedom of oppression, suppression from the past & ways you’ve held yourself back to be the full & real version the world needs; bring our best to everything we do.

[@spiritosa0123]

Add-if you end up with a course about improving our behaviors at work, working w colleagues, belief in oneself via work - Im there! and thank you!

[@wendyclark387]

Thank you for being so transparent, and going into the finer areas of the issues, reactions, considerations, and consequences, and how you have, and are dealing with the issues, the "goofs" you've made, how you corrected yourself, and you share it all with compassion for yourself, and each one of us. Thank you! So many things you bring up are the "minutiae" details of things I've been through, not able to put my finger on, or figure out. This is so healingly revealing for me. Thank you ❤!

[@carmadariacompaniona4181]

I can relate to several these symptoms: - wearing the harshness of your past on your sleeve (conflict, shabby dress, don't over self-disclose, positioning yourself as a victim of your past) - underfunctioning (having trouble focusing, being restless, being unreliable, lying, not admitting mistakes) - overfunctioning (doing too much, heroic expectations of self, may lead to resentment) - tendency to feel overwhelmed (do the daily practice instead!) - a tendency to favor doing grunt work (low risk) - not asking for what we want - getting disregulated on the job (feeling anxious, numb, having trouble reading the room, coming across as hostile or difficult...) - having troubled people in your home life - having bosses whose issues match your family dynamics Fortunately, this is less and less my reality! I became more aware of my contribution to issues (based on Anna's videos), stopped simply pointing the finger at others, did the daily practice, and gradually, bit by bit, stepped out of the "muddy waters" (but sometimes slip back in).

[@krembryle]

1) *heal the tendency of wearing your tragic past on your sleeve* Yeah, that's what happened to me lately on a interview for a self-development academy - I mentioned that I don't have a great relationship with parents and that I was living in the cheapest accommodations available in the city, almost going homeless. They didn't choose me, because they thought I should put my life in order first - which is reasonable but that means that I have to work on my self-development journey somewhere else. 2) *deal with the tendency of underfunctioning - having a really hard time focusing* Yeah, I'm a lazy worker. But it's because my current job is boring and I'm working from home so I can work whenever I want which sometimes means that I don't. That is, until deadline pushes me to work. 3) *learn how to reregulate yourself when you get dysregulated - productivity crushes caused by emotions* Also happened to me. Electricians asked too much for a light repair. I cried for the rest of the day. Ugly cried. Wrote an email to my boss that I'll finish my work later. 4) *separate from the other people who sabotage you (usually partner) - controlling and abusive, addiction* Since I'm no contact with my parents I'm ok. 5) *stop choosing jobs and bosses who match your terrible family of origin* Not my thing. I just left jobs where I didn't feel needed and appreciated.

[@Wishfullilith]

This made me feel better after melting down at work

[@taliajournee212]

This is an amazing video and topic I wish was talked about more often. For me, I took on the 'over worker' type of persona, in the beginning it was fine as I worked at a startup and was getting promoted often. Once I left that company, I quickly noticed this was not going to work especially with toxic managers that obviously had their own CPTSD issues going on. I am not looking at changing industry and starting my own online business but it took me years to really self examine what was going on with me and why I wasn't happy in my career. I'm still figuring it out but I feel like I'm in a much better head space. CPTSD + misogyny+ racism is a lot to carry and will show up in the real world in different ways. For me, my family was not supportive and criticized me everytime I had difficulty in work or with dangerous personalities that were managers. The lack of support is what spurred my own internal journey to focus on my own happiness and what I needed to do for me. Thank you for this post.

[@deecee7042]

Same

[@andynonimuss6298]

Coming into a meeting late does not require saying, "Sorry I'm late", because that is still disruptive. Just walk in, say nothing, and sit down.

[@luizamerten]

I relate so much with all your videos. And I've felt disregulated for such a long period of my life. The thing about spending months without being able to read a paragraph, reading it over and over and not making sense of it. I've been there. Such a weird sensation. Going to work, seeming "normal" to others, but not being able to actually do work. It actually brought me so much mental distress that eventually I actually became sick and no longer seemed "normal" to others. 😅 Thankfully I no longer feel like that, changed jobs, and changed a whole lot of other things in my life as well. I've found some forms of therapy, specially trauma informed physical therapy, that have been quite helpful. I really enjoy listening to your videos, I generally let it playing on the background in my earphones, while I'm doing something else, like drive or clean the house. I find them quite informative and empathetic, helpful to people that experience similar things. I have to say, though, that I haven't felt able to start the daily practice yet, I feel quite overwhelmed when I try to start. Being honest, I don't feel my best, but not my worst either, and it's been a while since I've felt that much overwhelm, so I´m kind of avoiding it right now... Not proud of the avoidance, but it feels right to protect myself from those intense sensations right now. I've done so much talk therapy for so long (like +10 years) and I feel kind of drained from any energy to enter any realm that involves thinking about my feelings. Does anyone else relate to that?

[@Theblobblob]

I struggle the most with c-ptsd and career/work (like i couldn't even keep a job because I just wasn't functioning like an adult should), so I'd be so so so grateful if you could talk about this more often! 🥺💖 Btw you rock, thank you so much for everything you do!!

[@sharsendinglove7799]

I cannot tell you how much this is helping me. Your videos are so healing and insightful. I'm going through this right now. I had to make the tough decision to leave my job for my mental health. I have found a new job that will pay me what I'm worth. I'm going into it with a different mindset. I'm so thankful for all you have shared. It really helps.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing this, good for you! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@airari24]

Going through a similar realization now. I work in the mental health field but at my job we are being overworked and our mental health as workers is disregarded. Even if it is not my intense passion like mental health work is, I need something that I can sustain and that allows me to live my life fully in other ways that I simply cannot in my current environment. Wishing us both luck in our endeavors

[@JoyleiaJo]

11:20 😂LOL "Tomatoes" is how our txt autocorrects "tomorrow". I like the Pomodoro ---> Do it tomorrow!

[@kylieisola4735]

Hey Anna, I’ve been watching your channel for a little while now and deeply appreciate your approach and honesty. I have to admit I started doing the daily practice with very positive effect, only I also have to admit I have let it slide…busy trying to get a job in retail, I have found I do well in interviews and have received many opportunities. But I can’t keep a job. I spent last weekend in bed because I was literally chased and berated out of the door. I can’t explain how I feel that I always end up needing to defend myself, when all I’m doing is my best. I end up feeling targeted and respond defensively. Any attempt to be assertive ends in me being told I’m being aggressive, which I can see may end up being true, but weren’t how things started. I literally have an out of body experience. I see the situation going sideways but have no way of stopping myself from mostly making it worse….

[@sharonjumba4648]

Hugs Kylie, may you get the much needed help.

[@gracecase998]

Great video and topic. I can relate to all of this in the video. The thing I am learning through your channel is to regulate myself. I was a high-functioner, to where I would burn out on every level. Now I know when to set work boundaries and move on to new company if not working out. I just did that and the culture of the company fits so well for me. My boss and co-workers are just awesome when you are honest and real about deadlines, struggles and asking for clear expectations. I don't bring problems I bring solutions. The culture helps me communicate effectively and creates less conflict overall. Refreshing. I'm not perfect, but also not falling into old patterns where I sabotage myself at work when I feel dysregulated. I never knew what it was. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay! It’s so good to hear success stories like this! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@aishwaryapadmanabhan5963]

I dont normally comment on videos - but this has to be one of the best and on point videos I have come across - I wish I could give it 500 likes, but alas, I am only entitled to one. Have to bookmark this video for posterity - so i can come back and re-watch it several more times. Thank you Anna! Love the work you do! Immense gratitude.

[@jazmo6662]

I wish I knew this stuff before I retired from a crappy working life.

[@Krtwells]

Thank you. I feel like the Universe heard my meditation this morning with you sharing this video today and me actually seeing it.

[@janetblake6361]

Love this I’m “balls deep” in healing rn and in the midst of a promotion at work ! I went into thst job 4 years ago w no plan no future in sight for me just needed income to simply survive .. fast forward to now used my benefits for therapy and still w the company 4 years later creeping my way up lol

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's fantastic! Thank you so much for sharing your success with us. It is encouragement to others that healing is possible and real. Julie@TeamFairy

[@Andrea-to4hc]

So grateful for you, Anna. Thank you for your transparency. I wish I was able to articulate how deeply you are helping me to heal. Thank you ❤

[@JinJinDoe]

This is going straight into favourites. Unfortunately if you or someone you know didn't go through it - the behaviours talked about rarely become understood.

[@ClementineShmementine]

My trauma therapist has me watching your videos for homework. It helps

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing this! So glad it is helping. TeamFairy

[@user-xd6ep1if5p]

😢 Anna i have been destroyed by my childhood and even my last marriages. And all i do is talk away about all these bad things . I have lost every single human being who can listen . I am dying in pain but can't seem to get out of my self . I have no one to even speak to. I feel I might die and no one will know . Have diabetes, hypotension, and alot of other diseases. And my doctor told me at the clinic that i could go to bed and die because of coma . And I began to smile because i thought yay finally.

[@Wejda05]

please go more in depth on how to deal with overwhelm. being overwhelmed and anxious is a paralyzing...

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Great video!

[@sstringfellowc]

A really strong video, Anna. Thank you.

[@sherriramsey593]

So happy to have found you. Thank you for being honest and authentic.

[@Renee_N]

I really needed this when i started in the workforce 30 years ago! Happy to learn this now!

[@missnucci2696]

This video was DEFINITELY made for me. Thank You 😉

[@demian8439]

28:55 I recently tried something that I'd been thinking about doing for a long time. I took on my first ever guitar student. But every time we met for a lesson he was HIGH AS EFF. After three lessons it was clear to me that this was not the student I was looking for so I let him go. The whole point was that I wanted to tiptoe into the role of being a music teacher. I'm not sure it's the right role for me, but I feel I won't know for sure until I give it a try. Teaching music is a potential second career for me after I retire from my current job. I don't see myself retiring any time soon. Perhaps even ten years away. So I still have time to explore this.

[@wambuiwahome7685]

I have had the manifestation of all of these signs today and someone just posted this and oh how I needed this!

[@dianebellitti4590]

I appreciate you so much! Thanks for your help. You give me so much knowledge about myself.

[@spiritosa0123]

You always share great insights. Wish I had separated my behavior and thinking and my history sooner at work and school, like you talk about. I wish youtube existed when I was trying to make it in University and then choosing a career. (I never really did choose one). I have a fresh chance to start my own small business, hoping to utilize the great insights. To be honest, knowing that YOU have been through similar stuff makes me willing to listen. That truly makes all the difference Anna!

[@jollymollyramram9702]

Your channel is really good and quite different from other “therapy channels”. Very grateful having come across yours😊🌸

[@cherp5837]

Thank god for someone to understand it’s been so long i thought i was broken

[@AnyahEMB]

It can be done. Meditation and affirmations have helped me immensely.

[@GreenWitch420]

❤ U of A, baybeee! Me too! Also, I needed to hear this content today in a big way! I am an oversharer and I don't take care of myself the way I should/want to, I underfunction and take on too much - often staying hours past my shift off the clock (which is negatively impacting my home life as well as work life). I am perpetually late and I open my mouth and excuses tumble out! I've felt so overwhelmed and been so underproductive and ill that my boss has actually cut back my hours/days to give me time to get myself in order. It was done with my health in mind; my boss has actually been a friend for decades, and OMG am I blessed that way! I feel bad that he has to make such adaptations, though 😢 I've been in training for the senior position of the job (which I've had for 12 years, training for 7) and have either been passed over or told the boss to choose the other person instead of me three times when promotion opportunities have come along. It's embarrassing at this point, when my coworkers ask why on earth I'm not a Senior yet. I want to do something different in my facility which would be a challenge but fulfilling work, but I've been dragging my feet. I have BAD ADHD and multiple chronic autoimmune issues. I've come to the point where I cringe at the word "productivity" because I get overwhelmed and crash. I've put myself on a very extended academic leave from a 100% grant from my work (!) towards a degree which would go a long way towards propelling my career in the way I want, because I get overwhelmed and struggle. I was accepted to the grant program back in '19 and should be graduating this year, which has been needing with my head. I still have 2 years left in the program. I'm vague and passive about money at work and at home. I've ended up taking lower pay than I should for yeeeeeears, then get upset when I find out that new hires get paid as much as I do. I spend way too much money and shut down when my partner tries to discuss money. He's AMAZING (I'm so proud of myself for picking a great guy instead of "marrying my father"), and I feel so subpar and not good enough for him. I think I'm going to download the audio of this video and listen to this again every so often, because I swear you wrote this episode about me! I guess I'm just a cliché and predictable person that way LMAO

[@Linda-wv7ck]

This is amazing! You don’t know how much you have helped me make sense of childhood trauma that has made my life very challenging!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so happy to hear that! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@punyashloka4946]

Thanks Anna this was very helpful, trauma did impact our career and growth , we need to heal in order to grow in life.

[@theologytherapist]

Love this topic of discussion! Thank you for making this video and it's important to have these kinds of discussions!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are most welcome! I'm so glad you enjoyed :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@dianebellitti4590]

I write notes all the time. I don’t overwhelm myself by overloading my self. If I do I get bad anxieties. I’m always good with helping others but when it comes to me I can’t figure it out.

[@Tribunal1023]

You talk about things I think about but have never heard anyone ever talk about. Thank you for your channel!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you found the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@msj246]

Thank you for this video and for sharing the daily practice. 🙂

[@DesertShadowWarriorQueen]

This was an excellent video, thank you.

[@Erica-en2qz]

I didn’t have a crappy childhood, but boy, do I relate to what you are talking about here! I saw myself in so many points.

[@reneyshah9942]

you are an absolute angel for sharing these videos i love you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@letincelledejuliette]

Fabulous, thank you Anna! You sharing your history and your path is very inspiring. You bring hope and concrete solutions. In November, I will be 2 years in doing the DP every day. The process has allowed me to turn many parts of my life around for the better: no more toxic family, a beautiful safe place to live, good healthy friends. Some areas are still sticky and difficult, like the professional breakthrough I want and the nagging loneliness and lostness that is my main emotional flashback, but somehow I don't doubt the areas will also improve as I continue healing. Thanks again for all your fantastic work!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

@Juliette thank you for sharing! Miss seeing you in the community, hope you can pop in soon :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@multilingualmind778]

thank you Anna so much! I love the videos about work life and when you talk about your work and the channel, you can´t imaginge how helpful these videos are! you´re such a inspiring person!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoyed the video. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@rubystaging237]

I always thank you ❤ for making a difference in Americas mental health, God sure we need 🙏 it

[@zukiswalabi1828]

Sooo looking forward to your book Thank you very much for everything you do. You are the first person who answered big questions I had for years. “WHAT’s WRONG WITH Me” I asked therapists for years And never got an ans. turns out to be DISREGULATION Thank you very much

[@InterestedCitizen]

Anna, you are so good at what you do. You really are. Thank you.😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much!

[@mimis.8943]

This is so true, so true. Thank you, Anna and staff. Please talk more about the area of worklife. It is important to sustain myself living with CPTSD.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice It can help you understand yourself and cope with the many stressors at work. Julie@TeamFairy

[@GlossyHop]

I feel like this was written specifically for me 😀. So much of what you said directly relates to all the things I’ve been considering about my job lately, and now I have the answers and confirmation I’ve been needing. Thank you!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@danielbanks332]

Hi Anna, this was such a great video! Such a great topic and so practical.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@marlajean333]

Boy, I needed to hear this!! Thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are most welcome! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@antionettewardell2151]

What I didn't know what I was doing was bleeding all over my co-works. Once I realized this is what I am doing, I put a stop to this behavior.

[@msdemeanour]

Thank you for this video. Very informative. I also love hearing your own personal stories and how you overcame hurdles. Much respect.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words! I'll make sure Anna reads this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Lafendrich]

Forming a band is serious work for me. Other musicians that I meet up with are often vague about their commitment, stating that they are serious professionals, but behaving as if it were a hobby. This is a separate issue and I do my best to navigate this difficult split. Recently a "coworker" freaked out on me after rehearsal and it led to my early departure. During practice I had tried to find a way that his exceptionally loud guitar amp would not impede my ability to hear myself sing (anyone in bands has experienced this phenomenon with guitarists) I tried, and believed I was being as gentle and constructive as possible, making suggestions about aiming the amp differently, etc. But from my very first word, his response was passive-aggressive. He didnt discuss or add any constructive input, but instead he rolled his eyes, dropped his head in a dour, defeated gesture, looked to the others for support of his traumatic experience and my brutality. After some discussion, with a tiny bit of heat, he threw a rock-god tantrum during a song. This is a common routine for guitarists, where they throw their instrument on the ground, kick their amp and knock it over, in a fit of emotion and feedback. Its something most rock guitarists have done, including myself. But in this case, it was less an artistic expression than a designed act to impress those around him that he is an artist in torment and his medium of choice often takes these abuses as necessary for his dramatic expression and we're supposed to be shocked and impressed. After all that, and some improved group dynamics, ie, we jammed on some more songs and left the issue behind (I finally gave up hope of hearing myself sing and put in my ear plugs - I cant regulate pitch, but if I cant hear myself, obviously nobody is listening or cares) As we were packing up, I said to him "are we cool?" as a way to make sure we weren't going to carry this minor disagreement into eternity. But Rock-God immediately took this as an opportunity to take advantage of my olive branch and started railing against me in every conceivable way, making extremely disjointed and off the wall attacks about me as a person and my 'delivery'. At one point in his explosion, completely out of the blue, he exclaimed that his Dad had died of a drug overdose (keep in mind we had only played together three times, I barely knew the guy). Also, After standing in one place for two hours, while packing up, I stepped into the hallway to stretch my back with my hands on the ground in a kind of downward facing dog stretch. This act was attacked as 'weird' for "doing push-ups". After about five attempts to explain that whatever he was being offended about not being my intention, he still insisted what my intensions were. I draw the line when someone insists on telling me what I mean. With no support from the other slack-jawed members, I finally said "find someone else" and left for good. Now, its clear to me that this kid is very immature and easily triggered, obviously having serious unresolved emotions in his own head. So I didnt beat myself up about it. I even watched an hour and half of playback that I was recording on my phone and saw nothing that I said or did to warrant his fury. My question to you is, is there anything I could have done differently, short of appeasing his need for feed and groveling for forgiveness at his perceived slights, that could have prevented this outburst, and allowed us to continue to work together in a band? Thanks!

[@TheoRae8289]

You did the only thing you could have done. The others will see that in time, because his behavior will drag them down.

[@Miranda3730]

How were you to know that this guitarist had emotional trouble? You spoke up respectfully about the volume of his guitar. There are people in this world that we just can't help.

[@suzannem9811]

Looking forward to reading your book!

[@lizzyyc6594]

That’s is the best and most helpful info thank you love you stuff:)

[@dianebellitti4590]

When I worked I was waitressing. Nobody ever knew about my past. I was always happy go lucky person. Maybe that’s why I had customers asking for me to wait on them. But as I’m 60 I find myself with all kinds of emotions. I heard you say how we complain about how bad my live was. I did learn that I am not telling men about the abuse I went thru. Cuz then I think that they think it happened before why can’t they abuse me. No way! I broke that cycle 9 Years ago. I’m not even interested to be in a relationship. I asked my doctor was that normal? She told me nothing is wrong with me. I needed to hear a conformation.

[@SublimeThinker]

Anna can you talk about how to deal with childhood trauma when you feel guilty for even talking about it. Like when you parents say they where traumatized themselves and so you feel guilty for holding them accountable or disclosing what they did.

[@viktoriaveronese2293]

Wow! I never knew that all my behaviour at work is connected to my cptsd. Listening to this answered a lot of my questions why I do things at work! Now I need to save this information in my system! Thank you so much!❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this! Great comment. Julie@TeamFairy bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice

[@nicolesteele6000]

oh god. i pulled this up to figure out why i felt weird at my new job. i have done the first one to such a strong extent! i hope if i change this i can turn things around. its only been about 2 weeks and i am getting a brand new manager today ive never met so i have a fresh start there!

[@juanitamayes6329]

This was very useful. I'd love to hear more about how you dealt with the anger.

[@benedettasavitri9644]

you are a Godsend Anna

[@happiesteverin]

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! SOOOO glad i found your channel And by the by, the colors you're wearing today look good on you 😁

[@deborahlincoln-strange622]

Thank you for another superb video

[@jeanieshank1433]

I had no idea I needed to be focusing on so many of these things. I’m going to register again. Wow

[@Nanda_Bond]

Hi Anna! Could you address how to heal from PERFECTIONISM generated by extremely critical parents? Thank you for your videos. 🧡

[@Arggggggggg]

All of this was me in my work life of 30 years. Haven't worked a normal job since C0v!d and I'm determined to never work in an office again. Even went back to college at 40 and got a degree, and still couldn't get hired for a higher level position. INTP receptionist, always miserable and being low on the work totem pole made it hard to have flexibility when i had issues with my disabled child. Now I'm effectively retired, taking care of that disabled (now adult) child.

[@sehrschee]

Yep.. really feeling the toxic bosses section. The good thing is i am taking a sabbatical starting this september where i will focus on my physical and emotinal issues and then decide what todo work wise. Good thing is i dont have to quit.. i have one year to focus on my health .. in all dimensions. And i am REALLY looking forward to take on those challenges. Its time. I am /We are all/ deserving to be in good health with a satisfying and well paying job where we a are seen and valued.

[@SethWilson]

This is a big one for me. I’m very pleased I’ve worked through a lot of this. But these symptoms still plague me and keep me from getting where I want to go.

[@berritandersen288]

Thank You so much!

[@andrewdonnelly4187]

Hi Anna, thank you so much for this video, you said exactly what I needed to hear. I've been fired a few times because I got emotionally dysregulated after I put in a lot of hours and worked 12 hours a day and it didn't really pay off. I just ended up ruining the peace in my team and also my blood pressure went so sky high that I couldn't really do anything and I just spent a few days in my bed. And it's not that I'm not intelligent but when I get emotional I can say a lot of stupid stuff that I regret. So your daily practice is an amazing tool to get my equanimity back. Thank you, I really appreciate what you do for us out there.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad The Daily Practice and Anna's videos have been helpful! Thanks for sharing, I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@CathyCavallone-xq1jl]

I just journaled about my main trigger and it was eye opening. I now see that I have control about how I react to it and I can make some changes that will bring me peace. Thank you for recommending this technique, Anna!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so happy to hear that! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@emilybitzel7242]

Beautiful.

[@Danielle-zq7kb]

It took so long to learn this on my own.

[@antionettewardell2151]

This is so true.

[@magalimasson9472]

Not related to the topic but I just had to write, the color of your blouse is so beautiful 😍 and the matchy lip color too, it looks lovely ☺️

[@staciej2580]

Thank you.

[@am-harris7458]

Yep! I had 2 abusive narcissist bosses..they made me constantly jump through hoops and gave me menial tasks! This triggered and disregulated me! One ended up in a lawsuit, another I had to leave on FMLA. I've been freelancing since Covid, but I need to move past this rut I'm in! 😒😏😒😏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@am-harris7458]

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks for the encouragement!🙂

[@polygon2744]

Could you do a video on Low Dose Naltrexone and how it can be used treat PTSD? Love the channel and work.

[@tammylynn1]

This is one that I am having a hard time hearing rn, it's exactly what I'm going through and I'm devastated.

[@miss_whipps]

Hang in there hon... You're loved and I'm sending you lots of comfort and support. ❤️❤️❤️

[@alexarobinson2850]

Kanban flow. It’s a form of visualizing your workflow and tasks. I use it too! I’m an agile coach, and so I spend my career teaching people how to do it.

[@theplaylister]

very useful with getting kids to do chores as well!

[@serenab17]

Aren't agile and Kanban software programs?

[@alexarobinson2850]

Agile is a mindset/philosophy that is often applied in complex environments, including software development. Kanban was created independent of the agile manifesto, but they have a lot of overlap and both are often applied by agile coaches. Absolutely agree about kids and chores!

[@MichaelBroder]

The nimities! Equa and magna! Love it