Stop Catastrophizing About Your Future. Try the Skill of Mental Imagery Instead

[@amenhotep7704]

God bless the best therapist on KZbin

[@agathahofmann6977]

😂❤

[@kaleemazam6050]

True

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

haha! Thanks!

[@nicolas_-_-_]

Hello! You're talking about Emma McAdam, right? 😄 I just want to make sure 😄

[@amenhotep7704]

​@@TherapyinaNutshell You are welcome Emma

[@kathleencove]

“Not imagining perfection, but imagining myself facing challenges with the grace that I want to be facing them, in order to create the outcome I want.” That is terrific advice.

[@randycasey99]

Absolutely! I’ve been having a hard time with debilitating intrusive thoughts…I was getting headaches and my back was so tense. Then I read your comment and watch the video and my bad thought was finally unhooked from my brain. I am no longer slave of my fear ❤❤❤ I feel normal again. God bless!

[@kathleencove]

@@randycasey99 God bless you too 🙏

[@kathleencove]

@@vincentkingsdale8334 Well, my take personally is that we can acknowledge disastrous circumstances without losing the hope that we can overcome them. Toxically positive people will live in denial and call you a “catastrophizer” if you simply read out loud the writing that’s on the wall. Toxically negative people will read the writing on the wall but shoot down every out of the box suggestion that hasn’t been tried yet on how to fix it. I think the reasonable person recognizes the problem, doesn’t delay in preparing for it, and holds onto hope that something can be done to improve the situation if we take advantage of the opportunity to do so before less benevolent forces capture the moment. People who cause problems often say to never let a good crisis go to waste, but if people who were in the throes of hardship approached difficulty with the same proactive attitude, we’d be in a much better position. That’s just my two cents.

[@kathleencove]

@@vincentkingsdale8334 Well, my take personally is that we can acknowledge disastrous circumstances without losing the hope that we can overcome them. “Positive vibes only” people will live in denial and call you a “catastrophizer” if you simply read out loud the writing that’s on the wall. Negative Nancies will read the writing on the wall but put down every out of the box suggestion that hasn’t been tried yet on how to fix it. I think the reasonable person recognizes the problem, doesn’t delay in preparing for it, and holds onto hope that something can be done to improve the situation if we take advantage of the opportunity to do so before less benevolent forces capture the moment.

[@kathleencove]

@@vincentkingsdale8334 People who cause problems often say to never let a good crisis go to waste, but if people who were in the throes of hardship approached difficulty with the same proactive attitude, we’d be in a much better position. That’s just my two cents.

[@jwalkinit]

I learned from another one of Emma's videos that keeping out the bad "What if's" is the key. You can also replace them with What Ifs like "What if that doesn't happen, and everything goes fine, like it has sooo many times before?" or "What if something bad does happen, but it turns out to be an easy fix, or just not as big a deal as I'm imagining right now?" I lean toward the positive knowing that the excruciating suffering I put myself through with catastrophizing is absolutely certain and real, but the bad scenario I'm imagining is just drama theater going on in my head about things that will very likely never happen that way.

[@BlueTilda96]

Very well written.

[@CoramDeo1977]

This helped me. Thanks. I'm going on roller coasters tomorrow and I have to get my mind ready.

[@MrYusu-jg2if]

Sh** i never thought of that i always favor the what if (negative) and the what if ( positive ) sh*ts wild. 😂

[@elizabethmossoian6719]

I needed to see this today. Thanks ❤

[@DDumbrille]

That works if your problems are minor. If your health is in jeopardy, it's another issue.

[@Kimeikus]

2:33 - Exactly! My brain actively tries to catastrophize because it thinks that it can “soften the blow” of rejection or failure if it does happen. My brain tells me that if I don’t dwell on the worst case scenarios, that I will end up being disappointed. That’s the logic behind it. But the catastrophizing just ends up ruining the present moment.

[@Bri-wc4ib]

Soooo true!!

[@youtubesux-whatnext]

I even do this in conversations and will say out loud the negative thing I'm expecting others might think so they don't say it to me. But I realized I'm just making myself live all those scenarios in my head and half the time the person isn't even thinking that to start with. I also feel like I'm sabotaging myself by saying it out loud so I'm starting by trying not to do that and trying to use bridge statements like "it's possible this person is not thinking these critical things or going to reject me"

[@TheChipMcDonald]

This.

[@24victoryJC]

True!

[@StephSancia]

It's taken me 69 years to realise there IS NO FUTURE. All we have is the Mindful Moment. I've done worse case scenario ALL my life especially with PTSD but all we have is the here and now and IF I can manage to focus on that moment I'll be sweet. Tomorrow becomes today and today becomes History. We live 24/7/365 in the Mindful Moment. Don't waste your life worrying about the "FUTURE" ... Steph says with serious Hindsight ❤ Happy Christmas and New Year ❤

[@zerho-y4o]

Very good thanks

[@Eugenetra7]

What if your "now" is an absolute nightmare? I don't want to focus on that, it kills me.

[@Hildred6]

The events in the future do arrive and become that day. If someone has a big exam coming up, that exam day will be here. The fear that comes with it is the issue.

[@StephSancia]

@@Hildred6 well you could say that your funeral will eventually arrive with that manner of thinking but what I'm saying to people here is that too many people are worried and preparing for next week's speculated bad weather when they all miss the beautiful sunshine of today with all things surrounding it. I'm working dawn to dusk designing retail clothes to try and get my own place even at my age but I've had to STOP and take a breath in the mindful moment to appreciate the things in the here and now that many people if not all take for granted. Mindfulness is not easy but if you practice long enough you'll start to appreciate the little things of TODAY in the here and the now and this FUTURE Will dissipate with all its warts and all. I've followed that horizon for decades in search of a dream and I've missed the beauty of every single day up until now. Today could be ANYONE'S LAST day, make it count, that's what I'm saying. Greets from Down Under

[@Hildred6]

@@StephSanciabest wishes with getting your own place, really hope you achieve your goal. I’m just a couple of years younger, I’m a tough person but my biggest bug bear is anxiety, it’s life long. It did get worse post menopause. I’ve explored every avenue with it, mindfulness included, these days I see mindfulness more as being aware of my thoughts and actions and where they lead. The anxiety is more general feelings of disaster and like it’s waiting just over the hill, in a way it is, but I’m more aware of it than most. It’s also to do with all the suffering in the world and of children in particular and an awareness that it’s never ending. Anyway thanks for reply, it’s always good to hear other people’s perspective and I agree with the advice in the video, and I think it helps a lot of people

[@emiliamarquez9640]

One of the worsts for me is "What if I live like this forever?", "If I never get better?", "If I loose life joy?". 😓

[@CaptainWumbo]

😥 sounds familiar. hang in there

[@juliettailor1616]

Here you 🙏

[@sophiazhang2283]

I get the same feeling often😢 What helps me is thinking, what if I overcome it - and then I think about how much more resilient and confident I would feel looking back at the challenges I’ve overcome, how I could stand taller, and it helps me get back on my feet.

[@nadiahmohdjani8289]

As long as you still trying, it will get better at the end

[@shreyashrestha186]

What if you do get better? What if you live a completely different life starting tomorrow? What if you start enjoying the life? This is also an alternate possibility. Why not think about it this way?

[@MyTPITTMAN]

This is so good. We lost our daughter in law and I’m helping my son raise his 3 girls. I’ve really struggled with anxiety since taking them in. I think it’s my fear of failing them. I can’t possibly fill the void of their mother.

[@clarabelrose]

Your anxiety shows that you care a lot , tell them you love them and always will , youre an amazing grandma , you’ve got this girl

[@branscombesurf]

You are fulfilling the roll as grandmother and doing a damn fine job! Keep up the good work. 🎉👏🥇

[@EamonWill]

Your son trusts you to be there as a loving and supporting person during this time. That speaks VOLUMES! You watching videos like this to try to be the best you can for them shows how much you care and how willing you are to put in the work. Knowing that you can't just fill that void and not trying to shows that you respect their emotions and their grieving process. Keep being amazing because it means the world to them to know that the worst can happen and they will still have family to depend on to help them!

[@josephsujai5543]

In Jesus Most Mighty Name amen

[@mariapaula8200]

My most common catastrophic thoughts are that I'm never going to be a functional human being because of my anxiety, or that I'm never going to get better, or that someday my anxiety will trigger something like a bipolar disorder or schizophrenia 😢 I live in constant fear of the future

[@jenrod1989]

Same here.

[@wilsonyya3549]

I believe that’s my main problem. I see everything wrong and bad around me. I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety for too long. I am looking to see myself making a positive change soon.

[@MoonSpinners]

The first step is acknowledging what’s wrong, so you’ve made a big step already. 😊

[@pergolafish]

How are you doing now?

[@jontnoneya3404]

Yeah we call this in AA "Future Tripping" and it's quite common. The visualization techniques you mentioned really do help but I'd also offer for anyone who's stuck in a future tripping mindset to bring your thoughts back to the present moment. In AA we also say "You've got one foot in tomorrow, one foot in the past and you're pissing on today" as a way to remind us that this present moment is all we have. We can't change the past. It's over and done with so forgive yourself for not being perfect in the past. You did the best you could with what you had to work with at the time. If you were better or healthier or whatever, you may have handled the situation differently. BUT you weren't so whatever. Let it go. Dwelling on it won't change it and it won't help you moving forward. Give yourself the gift of a clean slate moving forward. It's OK to make plans for the future - that's 100% NOT future tripping. It's simply setting a focus point. In sailing a ship using only wind power, you have to set a focus point or else you'll be blown all over the water. You also aren't usually able to sail directly at your focus point because you're at the mercy of the wind. The focus point is simply that point you want to reach at some point in the future. You may take a really squiggly path to that end focus point but eventually you'll get there. It's also OK to be concerned about future events and try to plan for them. Like the runner in the story. But when fear stops you from taking action, then it's often times helpful to write these things down and develop a plan for what you'll do if that fear actually materializes. You should write these things down so that you can let them go in your mind, you free up mental energy so you can move forward and surprisingly when you do this, you often discover additional options you never considered before because your mind was free to come up with other solutions rather than remembering what to do if something goes wrong.

[@Chloe-w7n]

I found this immensely inspiring, thankyou. I will keep this, its gold.

[@feralbluee]

you must be the best sponsor. can i have you to talk to? :) i never heard that yesterday, today, tomorrow thing. i love. it’s perfect. so why am i pissing on today? and then doing the dame tomorrow. thank you, sweetie. have a happy 🤭🌷🌱

[@aam_ladke_ki_baat]

The best 16 mins I have experienced on the internet ever. I have been battling severe anxiety which keeps coming back after every treatment but I am sure this will change the course for good

[@Chopsyochops]

Thank you. I needed to hear this. I’m a young stroke survivor and I’m restarting my life again this year. I’m going to drop 50lbs, finish my course and go back to work. I’ve been stuck for 22 months since the stroke in a state of fear of having another one. I start to catastrophise with health anxiety. I will try your technique. X

[@RobLewis3]

Your past is not your future. You don't have to have the same negative thoughts that you have had before. Every day, we are a new person. We change with every day. Good advice in this video. This is just another place now where I've heard about visualization.

[@kinstar]

what my therapist told me to do which im trying to put into practice is change the story in your head or add onto the story. Dont leave the catastrophizing or the worst case scenario as the only outcome in your head give your mind another option, another story where youre able to move passed and continue on living life. Give your mind that space to realize there are better outcomes. If our minds can make us feel so anxious and unwell surely we can do the same thing to make ourselves feel better . 'We suffer more often in imagination than in reality'

[@Known-unknowns]

It’s easy. Stop buying newspapers, stop watching television. I did this 20+ years ago and can thoroughly recommend it. I’m surrounded by people who simply regurgitate the media negativity. They are not actually thinking they are imitating.

[@ChuWannin-w4d]

Yeah like seriously I become so negative after watching news , these people died ,like this and this and other miserable accidents and crimes , I start to imagine what if they happen with me , I won’t be able to live after that etc and thus I end up catastrophising

[@jungersrules]

For some reason, the following tweet from Byron Katie made my anxiety plummet a few months back. Of course, I still have some worries and concerns, but the overwhelming anxious feeling has stayed gone ever since. FYI, I'm not a religious person, so it wasn't the "God" or "prayer" part that got me. It was something about how she worded what came after. Here it is: "If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.'" It felt like a weight had been lifted off me. I had cared too much about doing a good job that it was fueling my anxiety prone mind. Reading this quote from her freed me. I went into a "I don't care" mode where I no longer put other people's feelings above my own. I didn't need their stamp of approval to know I was doing a good job. I didn't need acceptance from anyone but me.

[@trangcaothu1303]

1. Run toward what you want, not away from what you dont want - shift the attention to what you want and focus your mind on that vison (better job, better friends). - Visualize success through trials 2. Rehearse different scenarios - you overcome that challenges 3. In details: - write about what success took like - how will you recover when you stumble - the source of hope and strength - visualize with mental picture of 5 senses

[@harisdiz.5817]

Here's another one: keep $500 in your pocket for a long period of time and you'll notice how good you'll feel knowing that you have that much cash at immediate disosal, without ever needing to spend it. This notion rewires your brain about abundance and draws more to you. I'm speaking from first-hand experience. Do it. You won't regret it.

[@kathleencove]

“It’s not magical thinking, it’s problem solving from a place of love and action.” 💯 (Some people would call that magic 😉 but I totally get your point, it’s not passive or relying on something irrational or superstitious- it’s actually very rational).

[@christinechapman9764]

Absolutely, but if you can't stop believing in the worst case scenario (sometimes it's hard), you don't have to. I remind myself, while also engaging in self soothing, "I never really know what's going to happen." Positive visualization is great, definitely, but in a dark place, if it's not possible, introducing uncertainty works. When feeling negative the brain will trick us into certainty and by reclaiming the reality of more possibilities we can reclaim our peace and our power. From that place we CAN go to positive visualization. If we want to, if not, remain open to more possibilities, that is actually enough.

[@Jess38044]

Yes, this is a brilliant tip too! Sometimes slowly adding a range of possibilities to the imagined worst case scenario can help shake you out of the anxious stronghold

[@hestiathena4917]

Could be a useful approach for some... for others, uncertainty all by itself is anxiety-inducing.

[@christinechapman9764]

@@hestiathena4917 true, I have noticed that. For me it's comforting because I am never certain of anything except the worst outcome.

[@ShinyaKyo]

Wow such a well expressed comment and point, thank you!

[@veronicaveintimilla8478]

True. For me if I can’t stop visualizing the worst case scenario then I’ll accept it but also being able to cope with it

[@princessjada3808]

You don't even realize the impact you made in my life. I just discovered you a few days, then had to use one of your techniques today. I was so sad thinking I was going to spoil the holidays with my son and my husband( this is our first Christmas Mr and Mrs). I truly thank you❤. Now I'm full of energy, ready to cook and attacking this head-on. Thank you. God bless you.❤

[@kellyjackson4973]

Just listening to this makes me realize when I was younger as a waitress. If I had a great day I had a great day I made great money I didn’t make any mistakes, but let somebody throw a monkey in the wrench and say the wrong thing to me and I would get inside my spirit Something that wasn’t from God and wasn’t a good space in my head. Next thing you know I’m dropping plates arguing with the manager being called out for bad behavior not even realizing that I put this in my own head with my own feelings. I’m so glad I found your channel years ago and now I can share with my own daughter who struggles with pretty much the same thing I do I’ll call that a generational curse and then rebuke it in the name of Jesus but I just wanted to tell you thank you so much for letting me learn what Godsent you to tell me amen. All his promises are yes and amen forever Jesus thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. Thank you for therapy in the nutshell. God bless everybody everywhere sorry for being so long but the spirit said it would be like that.

[@bobbykiriakidis9753]

I just went through same thing. I pride myself on my self discipline through meditation, but, the wrong combination of events came together and I involved myself in an altercation. I accept culpability and see the triggers. I will be smarter next time. Move on and learn from this

[@tranquilmind8487]

You've become so confident in videos over the years, its amazing to see the transformation

[@therealsoumyak]

Thanks you so much for making these videos! I really needed to learn these skills to cope with anxiety and am so grateful that you have these free resources available for everyone to access.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thank you!

[@RainforestMind]

what an important lesson! use the capabilities of our mind to help us instead of harm us. 'what if it all works out?'

[@shawndouglas9605]

BRILLIANT IDEA!! The mind only see things as targets not if those things/outcomes (targets) are good or bad. When you start catastrophizing, your mind only see this things as "oh he is focusing on this things, lets go towards this." Then you see it as *self sabotage* as "NOOO!! I dont want this why is this happening, is my body/mind betraying me?! I DO NO NOT want?! I repeat I DO NOT WANT!!". Unfortunately the *subconscious mind* "So much focused energy and emotions, this MUST be what he wants. Full speed ahead!" So yes you must flip things on its head and focus on what can go right, focus on it get your emotions behind it. Thank you so much for this.

[@stevec404]

My visualizations are so strong and 'real' to me. The problem is that I see it (a task) all completed; and it overwhelms me, due to a deficit of self worth and belief in myself. I rally for a bit, then catastrophizing takes over. Tomorrow, I will do what I have never done - approach a task in a narrow way, breaking it into several parts, 'seeing' one part done, and then completing that part. Taking credit for the one part is critical - and will be new to me. Intellectually I know that one step at a time, done consistently, will get the entire task done. Putting this into practice, going against my failure mindset, will be challenging. I am ready.

[@katr.9902]

One of the things that prevented me from doing the positive instead of negative imagery was thinking that if I thought about the worst outcome, I'd be prepared and not be so disappointed if it happened. But at the end of the day, that doesn't really help me achieving my goals. Instead, it's better to be optimistic and imagine the things I want to come true, but also keep in mind that I am capable of dealing with let downs and it's not the end of the world.

[@serberusu]

i have been catastrophizing so much for a long time. your voice is calming, while i go through a difficult time mentally

[@Roz-zi1ye]

This was helpful. I often think about what Jesus said about worrying, but sometimes, it is hard to stop catastrophizing.

[@PKD-s7b]

6:39 Focus on what you want instead of what you fear => give you problem solutions than bury you with problems

[@marianmartin9441]

This GAL is GREAT!She speaks from her heart, and seems so sincere!

[@prettyzen2]

I really appreciate your channel, it helps me immensely.I'm 56 (almost) have fibromyalgia and family issues. I love listening to your advice while foam rollering and stretching on my mat. Perfect start to each day. Much love to you & merry christmas xx

[@maggiemm1000]

When I worry I start shaking I get tense dizzy my heart beats fast and I get strange chills and sensations

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

a panic attack....

[@airi75089]

Really enjoyed hearing from that other therapist. A really great way to think about things

[@somethingyousaid5059]

On the other hand, some catastrophes actually occur, even if I don't worry about them before the fact.

[@bezza2005]

I am going through a horrible divorce with a soon-to-be-to-Ex. He has Asperger's high-functioning disorder, he has blamed me for everything and has become very nasty. the amount of anxiety I am feeling is just horrible. You are amazing I've been following you for some time and I love all your content. I continue to learn from you and your professional advice and guidance thank you.🙂

[@rhondamcloughlin3773]

I’m on my 3rd marriage because of this trait. Luckily, my honesty and his grace have helped me to move forward when it happens.

[@chinmaysingh4602]

Really in tears after watching this video, this was me every day. Teachings from you along with Dr. Joe Dispenza helped me to move away from the old self. ❤🙏

[@cristinafrick9773]

God please bless all of you and have a wonderful and safe Christmas and New Year Emma and all of you!😀

[@Richard-jq6mq]

Emma, You are sharing wisdom in a profoundly light and easily understood manner. To analyze treatment for anxiety/emotional disorders as “exercises” redefines and reframes recognition and process. In an increasingly complicated and complex world, awareness and responsibility of our mental health has never been more needed or appropriate. Thank you for your work that is resignating with many who are seeking freedom. Thank you…

[@weegamer82]

I’ve suffered this Evil as long as I remember. Thank you for this video. It really helps, Your awesome 😃

[@Manuelrive71]

I think it’s important to make a difference between imagining a problem and how to solve it but not imagine a situation that will never happen, sometimes our minds go too far.

[@mandyford7357]

love this! Dr. Edith Eger "Edie" speaks of this on how she survived holocaust by imagining each day of showing her boyfriend her eyes and hands, then when tomorrow came same thing. It is very powerful!

[@Greenwitch_Garden]

What if…? What if I succeed. What if my book is good. What if my relationship is great. What if all of this is worth it? What if I heal my wounds? What if it all works out? ❤❤❤

[@JaysonT1]

What if you fear success

[@joec1545]

Great video and I super appreciate you and people like you who are passionate about serving others in improving mental health. Currently, I am trying to help my 22 year old son who will be graduating college soon. He is not the same person who left for college 4 years ago. He is very negative, pessimistic, and creates catastrophes out of everything. It is heart breaking to witness. I plan on absorbing every minute detail of your content and hopefully help him rid his life of these awful and needless burdens. Thank you so much💓

[@EllyMoody]

Anxiety always gets better with two hundred millions dollars.

[@azyanabdrahman5713]

You're are awesome❤ I'm glad you didn't quit KZbin & grateful to came across your channel 2 years ago

[@marcse7en]

I have a tendency to CATASTROPHISE! .... I expect the WORST, and I'm NEVER disappointed!

[@habbekratzz]

I gave a thumb up because there wasn't a heart-up. This advice seems so 'simple' but requires a lot of practice and perseverance (and a lot of failing). Do this today! Worrier, sad or anxious person. Good luck in your path within neuroplasticity.

[@DailyLifeHacks-dlh]

The trick at [1:55] is just brilliant! Can’t wait to see more from you.

[@angel.heart007]

I’m THE worst or maybe the best at catastrophyzing. But most is health related. When I work out I always think I might have a heart attack and maybe I’m pushing my heart too much. When I go to the doctor I already fear he’s going to tell me I have a disease. When I get labs done I know there’s going to be abnormal results. When I eat I think what if I’m damaging my organs by eating this?! When I feel a symptom in my body I’m assuming it’s a new disease or my organ is failing. It’s never ending. It’s a horrible cycle and goes on an on for me.. been on medication and have felt better, but it comes back sometimes with a vengeance. It’s literally draining the energy out of me daily.

[@Acavinash]

Same problem with me .. but how did ur problem start ? Mine started due to a lower back injury while doing exercise in the gym .. i thought i would not be able to walk in future.. then i started getting anxious about my other organs like heart bcoz my heart was beating at a faster rate and then my kidneys as my bp also rose.

[@Acavinash]

I took therapy sessions in which i was taught some strategies for managing anxiety. At present i have some improvement but sometimes it returns.

[@Acavinash]

At present what are you doing to manage it ?

[@angel.heart007]

@@Acavinash I’m sorry you’re going through it as well. Mine started with a horrible positional vertigo episode in the middle of the night back in 2010. Then a terrible experience at the ER when doctors tried to help me. Since then it’s caused me anxiety and panic attacks. Took me years to be okay to watch TV or not panic seeing things in action. I was afraid everything was going to spin if I moved a certain way or seen something moving too fast. Just strange. Never in a million years did I think something like this could happen. Then it snowballed up to today.

[@angel.heart007]

@@Acavinash I know how you feel. I’ve gone through the same.

[@frankschalk7790]

In 2021 I was earning a high income but was driven out of my job due to a hostile environment. Since then, I have struggled to get back to that place…I have had to take lower paying gigs and have not had the confidence I need to get back to that place. I attribute that to catastrophic thinking due to the trauma I experienced. I was also victim of an online scam in 2022 which depleted most of my savings and further added to the trauma and catastrophizing. This video is a good stepping stone to begin to overcome this.

[@Weeds_and_Wishes]

Thank you so much for your content! I could listen to you for hours. You bring clarity to really cloudy subjects. It is so helpful to me. Thank you, and have a blessed day!

[@Weeds_and_Wishes]

After listening to this video, an old saying came to mind. Worrying is just enthusiasm that is malnourished. ✌️

[@PaigeSquared]

On mom fears; it helps me to remember how much I *desperately* longed for my parents' approval growing up, what it felt like to be biologically wired to seek the approval of a specific person. Children come out wanting to love and be connected with their parents, regardless of the parents. Until, they don't (avoidant attachment/ bond damage). I am a mom now, so I know how pervasive that fear is! Especially because no one is perfect, and we so want to be, we want to be able to function in alignment with what we know our babies deserve. Knowing that they are so precious, it is easy to get psyched up about it. With my son, my number one rule to be a "good enough" mother, is to ensure I am emotionally available to him, frequently enough so that he can expect or request it. It is important that success is not the equivalent of perfection! When we expect perfection out of our kids (or ourselves), they adapt to also expect that from us. Children become unforgiving when that is what they have experienced. Our kids need to know that it is worth telling us something; that being vulnerable will have a neutral result at worst, and massive, positive, validating support at best. The worst possible outcome for the kid can't be so steep that they will not risk it. It is easy when we are in our own heads, to miss where we taught them not to speak with us. If we are too busy, we can easily miss a shy child's bids. In my childhood, the lack of emotional and sometimes material support made it so that I *knew* it was not worth telling my mom anything, unless I had a major issue that I could not resolve alone, AND had already exhausted all of my other resources and connections. I did not need additional judgment and persecution on top of a challenge I was already struggling to resolve. I know I can get her help, if I can prove it is needed and am persistent enough, but if I can find literally anyone else to help, I will try them first. I do not recall her ever apologizing, nor discussing how she might have done something differently (interpersonally), nor even acknowledge my hurt during childhood. She has since admitted to feeling guilty about the past, but that she feels digging it up would only create more pain for herself. She doesn't seem aware of the struggles her adult children have with her in the present are due to the precedent she set in the past. She doesn't know that by refusing to acknowledge it, she is continuously bringing the past with her, into her present relationships. So, just don't be like my mom. 😅 A child might have grown in our body, we might have sacrificed everything for them, but they are STILL their own autonomic beings, with their own lived experiences that are just as real and important as ours are. The way my mom responds to me was never very relevant to *me,* and as a child, I couldn't see that. I did not understand why my experience was not valid when hers supposedly was. I apologize to my son all the time; I tell him how I wish I could've handled a given situation. When I know I can do better, I tell my son that, and we talk about what would be meaningful to him, moving forward. We can't know what our kid really needs if we don't ask. I am careful to not create a peer dynamic, but I do want him to know that we all make mistakes, and that there isn't anything wrong with that, at all. There is more likely something wrong with you if you appear to never make mistakes. 😂 It is very important to me that he knows that admitting to mistakes means we get love and support, not punishment and ostracization. It's easier than I expected, to apologize and own up to poor behavior, in a parent role. I thought maybe it would be more soul crushing, because of my mom's resistance. Deciding that I was willing to apologize to my terrible twos toddler was honestly one of the things that has bonded us the most; we have spent much time talking about where we were wrong and the options we have to do better next time. My son and I are so much more relaxed with each other, than I had ever been around my mother, or my father. When one of us has a bad day and gets snippy, by the evening we are back on the same page. His dad isn't involved, so it's just me. I never want my son to struggle with the confusion and frustration that I experienced with my mom, especially because he doesn't have another parent to go to. Not getting parental validation totally warped my sense of self. No kid deserves that.

[@idt1]

True! When we apologize heartfeltly to kids they usually reassure us and immediately say it's fine.. it's adults it's harder with 😅

[@jcbanbury]

You said EXACTLY it. Enough said

[@youseferwaimi2506]

شكرا لكي على هذه المعلومات و المهارات المهمة التي ساهمت بالفعل بالتقليل من القلق في حياتي

[@em945]

Haaaaappy Christmas Emma! Much love to you and anyone else reading this. Have a non catastrophic 2024 ✌❤😁

[@JackedBlack88]

I catastrophize having a panic attack when traveling, freaking out so hard that I die or put others at risk. Lightheaded, rush of numbness down my arms, shortness of breath

[@yvettedesmarais8107]

Omg. I used to be that person. The person who leaned into change and enjoyed the excitement of a challenge. Maybe I can get back to being her. I’m healing from a few months of paralyzing anxiety. Thank you for this video. I appreciate your focus on making the most out of life, not just recovering.

[@islandnative8084]

Aloha! Its bri from hawaii and ive just wanted to share that This has been one of your best videos of therapy that ive watched thus far. Ive been suffering with alot of mental challenges and have had the hardest time coping with how to relax my tensions and so on. Your videos have helped me to find a way to go outta my comfort zone to better see things in a better way.. thank you so much. I send you blessings🙏🏼

[@bibliophilejournalist]

THANKS A LOT FOR HELPING ME, MA'AM.

[@lelouch_Itomura]

Amazing what positive imagination can do to the brain and body. I practiced it and instantly noticed changes favorably

[@Bruno-tm3xo]

The only behaviour that would lead you kids to break contact with you later is ……..inconsistency. The emotion roller coaster ……..you are marvellous……you are evil. Breaking up promises for their own comfort These are the 2 I went through as a kid and had to feel guilty on top of it

[@Karmaghna]

Going through this now. Just laid off from long time employment. I'm running through every bad outcome that can happen and sick to my stomach.

[@dazzlingT]

This is such a precious video!! Thank you for sharing this and many more strategies at no cost 🙏

[@farmoboy83]

i used to suffer a lot from work pressures. After being a father, had my debt paid and a lot of this pressure simply disapeered. Now i say rhe worst my job can do to me is getting me fired, which is ok and not the end of my life. So people, first get rid of everything or most that brings you some kind of stress, consume less, don't make debt and always think this life is limited and whatever you may think or imagine doesn't matter.

[@a.o.9594]

Thank you so much. Love your work, I share it on Pinterest and with my friends on Discord. Your videos always make me think with good guidance to work through problems.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Eugenetra7]

What if I have absolutely no idea about my aim, purpose or interests? I cannot visualize non-existing things.

[@samuelperdomo9537]

You are such a blessing! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all!

[@soulestate_5]

The last story was especially moving for me since I am currently going through similar and additional changes. However visualization has helped greatly with keep consistent and focused.

[@spoudaois]

I like meditation because it breaks that circle of destructive obsessive thoughts. After it puts the situation into a different perspective. Also it helps to accept imperfection and that imperfection is normal to it and should be embraced.

[@RepentantSinner86]

I don't know about you BUT for me it all starts with physical symptoms and then the thinking occurs. I don't create fake scenarios. For me it's all about that FCKNG physical feeling in my heart, my chest, etc.

[@tomr3193]

Me too. Nightmarish cycle.

[@RepentantSinner86]

@@tomr3193 Thanks for sharing Tom. It helps me to know that I'm not alone and I hope knowing that there's people like you out there also helps you even if just a little.

[@ConnieBrown-gu6bb]

Me too.

[@maggiemm1000]

For me worrying about the physical symptoms would cause the sensations or worrying about having anxiety again would cause more anxiety

[@RepentantSinner86]

@@maggiemm1000 X2 I feel I could 100 percent manage my anxiety if the physical symptoms would just back the F off

[@JCinerea]

The perfect mother- I was an extraordinarily ungrateful child, and I used to think that spanking was abuse (ohh, poor pity me) until I got sober and did some stepwork. Now I have a huge amount of respect for my mother. There is no perfect parent, but a mother that strives hard to be a good example for her children and to provide them opportunities is grade-A in my book.

[@mumtazmullahkhail3357]

I attend seminars and I kinda catastrophe speaking at the stage, so after watching this video I will speak at the stage and use positive mental imagery. Thank you

[@KathleenStidham]

I wasn’t ready to watch when you uploaded this, but today I watched twice. It was a good thing to hear, and I appreciate so much how much better I feel and the new understanding that will also help me with anxious students. Thank you.❤

[@phillipwhite4741]

Omg this is me . Done it so long I thought it was normal . It’s so exhausting . Time for change

[@formless4541]

It's harder to visualise positive Imagery That's why I think there are prerequisites, deeper things that need to be addressed first, I don't think forced visualisation is effective except for things that are not too deep an issue

[@timwatley4793]

okay stopping anxiety right now, thankyou

[@melissaandreag]

I’ve learned how to de-catastrophize through my own therapy and it’s been a game-changer! I’m not perfect, but this reminder helps a lot. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤ It’s so important!

[@seed.meditation]

I do healing meditation & definitely I loved this video

[@seed.meditation]

@ShelliHunterSmith you can jam into my world to see meditation

[@me.6917]

God bless you for putting videos out for FREE for those of us who need it ❤

[@theflyingdutchman787]

You just scientifically explained Stoicism. Bravo and thank you!

[@TheBritishActingCoach]

Mega emotional after watching this - in a positive way. Thanks Emma! Super helpful insight and practical tips - I appreciate your work! Thanks again.

[@arianehernandezledesma721]

Amazing, you help so much! I remember someone tell me one time that perhaps I should try hard to switch my outlook of the world. This resonates with that and it is so helpful. Thank you for what you do :) it is invaluable.

[@littlemissy8356]

I understand how that is that a child doesn't care about you. I am 74 and my child doesn't care at all about me. It's a lot to deal with, especially after all I've done for him. I don't think I would expect it, as I sure didn't. Your method helps, thanks.

[@maestoso47]

I’ve tried sensory imagery with therapists. It worked somewhat but I think for me, my anxiety is more physiologically rooted (trauma) so a different modality is needed.

[@normeee]

Same here. Especially if it is also associated with actual health traumas. How then do we manage?

[@maestoso47]

@@normeee I’m still trying different therapies. Haven’t found the right solution yet and meanwhile, my anxiety has turned into worsening trauma with continuous disassociation. But even that’s just a proposed diagnosis. My health issues are rare and overlap so it’s been difficult to figure out what’s going on and even harder to treat.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yes, I really like the concept of having a toolbox of skills to use, for me, imagery isn't my go-to tool, I often use more compassion, body soothing, journaling and challenging those thoughts, some cognitive defusion (just noticing those thoughts) and then, when I'm really paying attention, I'll use Imagery

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

@@TherapyinaNutshell sounds worthless...to me.

[@sharathkumar8338]

I deliberately used to catastrophize thinking that it would prepare me for uncertain situations.

[@karinah5487]

Emma, you are fabulous inside and out. You look gorgeous. Your videos have been helping me. Thank you. Wishing you the best this holiday season and more. ❤️🥰💜

[@djshowtrial4565]

This is really great practical advice. . .it is so crazy how compelling a catastrophic mindset can be because we are trained to expect adversity, it is a somewhat practical bias but man , it can get on top of you. . But I like the way this video shows you how to realize that you have options and flexibility and aren’t so automated that you can’t adapt to situations

[@marthawho7577]

Omg. How have I lived so long without learning this?? Thank you for presenting. And it comes after a day at work that was totally demoralizing.

[@ramonaobreja6678]

What a splendid video! It's wonderful when it all clicks! Thank you so much!

[@jarradhurley4866]

Positive visualization works. I once hit a half court shot in a basketball game and won $10,000. When I was called up from the crowd, I was calm and ready. I'd never really shot a half court shot before - they dont come up a lot in the game. But I always had it in mind that one day I was going to take that shot and I always pictured making it. So in front of 7,000 fans, as cool as a cucumber, I made the shot like I was meant to do it. That's my experience with positive visualization. I actually commented on the team's Facebook page months beforehand "I am going to make that shot"... and I did!

[@eyo8766]

Probably because you are at peak physical condition.

[@jarradhurley4866]

Flattering as that comment is, no I wasnt at peak condition. I was a fan, not a professional player. @@eyo8766

[@katrinapeacock8317]

Super helpful. You are my go-to therapist when the catastrophic thoughts creep in. I love it when you use humour too. It really helps to diffuse things.

[@seed.meditation]

Truly

[@chrisbarry9345]

All positive outcomes feel like magical thinking. It feels as plausible as gaining the power to teleport

[@priyamkhurana3156]

I have an exam in a few days and I keep getting stuck in the anxiety loop where I run away from the problem rather than facing it. Surely I am worried about my exam result but what worries me more is that I keep getting stuck in this loop. Not sure what my future holds for me but I am sure of one thing, there ain't no place for this in my future. Whoever is reading this, you got this champ.❤

[@christinegrossi4430]

We need you!! Thank you for your good sense and great communication.

[@ruturajkadam5164]

Hey There, I cant tell you How much this video of Yours has helped me with my this problem ,the solution which you gave is on point , I feel so much free after this video,Thank you so much !!!!

[@captainsheppard1131]

Good stuff. Replace catastrophic thinking with positive mental energy.

[@commoneuropeanstarling]

If there were a competition for catastrophizing or awfulizing, I'd win the world cup

[@musicbeyondwithboushra]

Oh Gosh! You have no idea how much I needed this video to show up on my feed today. Thank you to the best therapist ❤

[@seed.meditation]

Truly its amazing. His journey is remarkable !

[@plantfan668]

This is hard for me because disasters often happen and I don’t cope with even the mildest. I don’t seem able to know how to deal with situations or imagine a positive outcome.