"Emotional Sobriety" Makes Trauma Healing Faster and More Sustainable

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***
While many people think the goal of healing is to feel MORE of your feelings, people with Childhood PTSD more often need emotional self-regulation. There are short-term strategies and changes you can make in your life that make it easier to stay emotionally steady. If strong emotions hurt your relationships, "Emotional sobriety" is a way of life that may help you to feel your feelings fully, without lashing out or freaking out, which is so common in people with CPTSD. In this video I teach about the concept of emotional sobriety, and step you can take to stay more emotionally balanced, and support your overall efforts to heal trauma from the past.
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[@spiralsone]

Anna you are doing the most groundbreaking practical, and effective work in this entire field. Your insight and works border on the prophetic. It is saintly at the least, and so helpful in guiding us confused, lonely, damaged adults out of our darkness.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Aw, thank you.

[@bem6344]

I agree. She is a blessing

[@lw6138]

I used to terrify people. I had rage on demand. I took things so much mo. re personally than others, and could go from 1 to 100 in moments. I couldn't see myself. After I figured out I had CPTSD, I started calming down. I now understood that I was just passing on the trauma. My parents, though dead, were living on in my pain. Not seeing threats at every turn has given me a new life. I aspire to be a safe place for others, and that requires that I have new habits. Those new habits are the way to healing.

[@Mysticalbooh]

AA Big Book, "As we go through the day we PAUSE, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.’’ We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves."

[@WRW1223]

❤

[@erinb2887]

🙏🏼💖

[@pdelaprimm]

A calm, balanced Central Nervous System is at the root, as it leads to Emotional Sobriety. Emotional Sobriety is REQUIREMENT in healing. A REQUIREMENT.

[@Madhuwellness]

I’m a psychologist Your videos help me greatly I’m recovering from cptsd myself. Thank you 🙏

[@Perogies123]

Having a close relationship with God really helps calm the CPTSD. I am on the emotional roller coaster but somehow he helps me.

[@darialo8740]

It does help.

[@mrs.cooper4840]

Ive lived 30+ years in quiet self-isolation (which might actually be "loneliness" but how can i tell?) because the first 20+ proved to be abject failures in attempts to connect and belong. If i speak my feelings, i invariably alienate people. So i keep my mouth shut. My husband says familiarity breeds contempt, so i make sure i keep him at arms length and have almost gotten over the pain of being treated that way by him. Again.... I dont connect and i dont belong. Thank you for helping me see this pattern so clearly.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad Anna's video was helpful. Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

[@sarahlantto8913]

This was really good. I needed this today. Sometimes it seems like healing is so hard, but it doesn't happen all at once like in the movies. One day at a time, and we all mess up, just keep on pressing on!!!!

[@TomoyoTatar]

I'm glad my therapist knows about emotional regulation and compartmentalization and doesn't force me to express all my horrific trauma essentially re-traumatizing me. My therapists previous used to traumatize me like this and it caused more dysregulation.

[@dennismason3740]

I live in a magical city where hate is returned tenfold and love a hundredfold. If I lose my shite the repercussions are horrendous. Emotional sobriety, where I live, is crucial to, well, not dying. I got sober in 1982, still clean'n'sober and I went to A.A. meetings for ten years. Emotional sobriety is a huge subject in A.A. and everyday I know why. I can rage to myself and recover but raging around people is potentially fatal.

[@marianmora5331]

This is me...never understood it, just always tried to keep myself from getting mad because I would get out of control. YEARS of therapy and KZbin had my answers. Thank you...I'm not crazy!!

[@johngallagher72]

Fairy you are an absolute Angel doing Gods work . Ty for all the work you but into these videos. They should be required viewing for anyone who was a proverbial "latchkey " kid. Keep up the great work 👍🙏

[@rebeccadubarry8523]

She is❤

[@PaigeSquared]

I didn't associate it with the latchkey generation. That's interesting. I participated in a "generations" group training at work where people were split up according to experiences and values. All my "office friends" closer to my age were at another table, and I was the youngest one sitting with the "latch key kids." That was the first time I heard that term, a few years ago. I was able to figure out that I was raised in that style, but my younger siblings were not. Weird.

[@johngallagher72]

@@PaigeSquared what the latchkey term means in a way is you kind of had to fend for yourself because both parents were working and there was no one there in the morning to get you ready for school or supervise you when you got home from school until they got home from work a couple of hours later. My mom and dad are both gone and in heaven the first in 2013 the other in 2023 so i dont want to disrespect their memory and people on this forum to varrying degrees probably had expereinces much worse than mine which from the outside looking in looked like an average to an above average childhood. Still a fair objective critique of my childhood is that we were just kind of three people living together out of economic neccessity and my parents could have been emotionally more attentative but lacked either the skills or understanding to do so.

[@HappyRisks]

someone jumped down my throat.. I told my self to ignore, but I cut my finger cutting a bagel and had to get 4 stitches. I was dis-regulated while telling myself not be. Clumsy another symptom. My finger has healed.

[@nunyabusiness757]

Oh, Anna… thank you. This is so spot on. I’m coming out of a period if exactly THIS. Thank you for the encouragement to PAUSE and not keep the cycle going. It’s SO hard to do when you have been wronged and hurt, but fighting over past hurts only creates more, future hurts.

[@libertatem_aut_mori_conatur]

I agree 100 percent with most, if not all of your videos, as if you were talking directly to me, or an extension of me (as a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder, I'm not a stranger to this type of thinking) this video is exceptionally profound in the sense that I never heard of anything close to this terminology. It absolutely made sense and the terms "Emotional Sobriety" and "Healthy Compartmentalizing" is an amazing concept that, for lack of better words, makes absolute sense. Thank you. I, for the first time, don't feel alienated, or a freak, that can never be understood. Thank you. I'm 42 and this is the first time in my life that I feel humanized.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is so good to hear. I'm glad you're here!

[@libertatem_aut_mori_conatur]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you! Glad to be here. Was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder as well as CPTSD Anxiety, basically, a few more comorbid features. I always felt alone and weird i was different. Instead of following natural instinct, which, to anyone out theren just want to say dent try without talking to your doctor, and I am not a doctor! not making suggestions, tol But i leaned into it, and it disarms people n from what I've seen. As they all seen to have the idea that ite like in the movies and im dangerous, when its really just different parts of the same person, and not at all like the movies, and watching your videos and how well you explain CPTSD. I feel a lot more confident, in knowing that what I feel is from an actual source that can be documented moeimprove. really like the term Emotional Sobriety. Im going to try that.... Thank you for what you do!

[@carolnahigian9518]

😮glad I am EVEN KEEL Now❤

[@ShadeCandle]

So on point..... I just met someone who I was super excited about, after a couple years of lukewarm dating situations, and I was surprised when my anxious attachment kicked in. I felt like it was a good idea to discuss relationship goals on the first date, to make sure we were looking for the same thing, but clearly went too far with fantasizing about a future together, which scared her away. She was so excited about me before the date, but then, seeing my insecurities, she said she wasn't feeling attracted after all. I was beating myself up after the date - I thought I had healed this stuff, but apparently it's still here. I'm 37, and wondering if I'll ever be able to get these patterns under control. I can't believed I just sabotaged yet another beautiful connection.

[@HermeticWorlds]

I'm sorry your date didn't turn out as you would have liked. Please don't beat yourself up, it's great that you're self-aware enough to see the experience with self-understanding. I can relate to dating uncertainty, I'm currently in a kind of limbo where I'm through with dysfunctional relationships but probably still not ready for a healthy relationship. I don't know how long I'll be in this limbo place but I'm focusing on enjoying the peace and traquility in my soul, and just learning to sit with this needy feeling I have in my chest. I do miss sex tbh but I know that sex with unsafe people just disregulates me, so it's not worth it in the end.

[@HermeticWorlds]

To add, I'm currently in neurofeedback therapy to help with my dysregulation, it's honestly amazing and making me feel much calmer and at peace. Please google it if you're interested, I highly recommend it.

[@ElmoBiotech]

I am learning the hard way too. Don’t give up. Success is not making that same mistake with the next opportunities. They will come!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sorry to hear that . If you're interested, try Anna's course 'Dating and Relationships for People with Childhood PTSD': bit.ly/3IBbrv7. It can help you prepare for future dating. Good luck! Nika@TeamFairy

[@Benjaminleo815]

You may bring up relationship goals with the right person and they love it on a first date, then you have yourself a gem. I think it's a great screening tool to keep you moving toward the right person.

[@elmajacobs5975]

My daughter lost her husband nine years ago. Their son just turned three when this happened.... She is an incredibly good parent. She is just plain nasty in the way she treats us, her parents and her sister. I've just received info that she treats people at work the same. I don't think she has come to terms with her husband's death. All of us felt a sense of anger against her husband when he passed. He was supposed to go with her and friends for a weekend away. Her husband was like a son to me . I really accepted him as just that. It was a huge loss for his family and ours.... My humble opinion is that she has not worked through his death. She cannot go around treating people so badly. She is a dedicated worker . I feel as her Mother to talk to her and explain that it cost you nothing to be a friendly human being without allowing others to walk over you or take advantage of your kindness. Everyone is on eggshells when she is around. She is a beautiful lady ,turning forty this year. In a world where you can he anything, BE NICE . Losing my son in law was incredibly sad for all of us. I've been looking after their little boy since he was born. He is twelve years old now. Needless to say he is my everything. Now she's keeping him away from us. How do I help my child without hurting her feelings.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I hear you. It is not easy to maintain a loving, healthy relationship with people who have experienced trauma and are suffering from PTSD symptoms. I encourage you to write an 'Ask the Fairy' letter to share your story and ask Anna a question. You can do it from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy

[@PaigeSquared]

She is going to be resistant if you feel entitled to her child, just saying, as a mom. My mom tries to decide things regarding my son and directly ignores the things I tell her; like when I said "no do not write a complaint letter to his school," she still did behind my back, and we ended up having to change schools. My son keeps asking for his old classroom, he doesn't understand that the teachers are too afraid to teach him now. They were threatened with legal action, I can't blame them. But I think my mom is the one who could learn the "kindness" lesson, so, this might not be applicable to your situation. But maybe she doesn't feel supported, by others.

[@michelleriggs2450]

I'm 46 and have experienced this effect my entire life where I have a wonderful moment of feeling like one with the universe, grateful for good friends, just a sense of gratitude and wonder and elation and then several hours later I have this emotional crash and I'm in the depths of despair for what seems like no reason at all. I didn't understand why this was happening but I began to recognize the pattern and when I would start to have this feeling I would still allow myself to feel good but hold back from the elation and I stopped having the awful lows. I've never been able to figure out what was going on and you are the first person I've heard talking about something like this. It makes so much sense! I just thought this was yet another thing wrong with me. Thank you so much for talking about this. I'm grateful (but not elated 😅) to have stumbled upon this video.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and sharing your experience with us! Nika@TeamFairy

[@gracecase998]

I have learned the power of the pause when I get triggered. Space helps so much. Then I speak with fact to take high level emotion out of my reactions. Saved me trouble at work with family and friends. Loved this video, thanks for all you do.

[@Rosieblue111]

I went to my first ACA meeting last night. It took a lot for me to go, sit down amongst strangers and be honest and vulnerable. I’m so glad I did. If you read this, Thankyou Anna. I wouldn’t have done it without you. Xx

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great job!

[@MarieAMcNeese]

I'm doing "Trauma Reboot". Trauma can paralyze you when unknown or not dealt with

[@don_e_b3233]

This is fkd up now I know what's wrong with me

[@user-ho3pu3di9p]

Hi Anna! As a licensed psychologist, I love your work and rexommend your channel to friends, family, and clients alike. I think you might find the theory and research around the Positive and Negative Affect Scale (PANAS) interesting.

[@LandofHelena]

"gateway emotions" this is the first time im hearing any term for an experience i have known all my life!!! now i can better name and identify those feelings, this is a huge help

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching! Glad Anna's video was helpful! Nika@TeamFairy

[@missykins3193]

This is huge. Thank you. I'm this many years old and never thought of it like this.

[@airingcupboard]

Your daily practice course is amazing. Something happened to me to day that would normally be disregulating although I sort of numbed out, which still is one, but I didn't fall into rage and then I processed it via the practice and then meditated. I feel a sense of relief that I can feel the feelings (so the numbness isn't a requirement) or without falling into days of repetitive thoughts or sudden feelings of rage ravaging my mind. Doing the practice everyday has made a big difference. I think you're right about avoiding drama and the emotional sobriety concept is very fitting.

[@FriendofDorothy]

Same is happening to me. 10 years ago I would've gone off when triggered like a rocket of rage, but now I sort of sense the sparks for a minute or two and then tell myself "You are triggered. Pause now and re-regulate". So the sparks are extinguished faster now and yes, I too would describe my reaction to being triggered now as a sort of numbness which I find healthier than my former drama queen instant reactions. What you refer to as "numb" is so much more healthy than going ballistic every time one is triggered and is just your brain's way of saying "OK, that was insulting but I ain't gonna react. Time to re-regulate instead." It's like having a third eye that watches your own emotional reactions so that you can make a healthier choice as to your reaction.

[@sharenalynn]

​I'm currently that drama queen how do you stop yourself from raging ?

[@robertrowan8174]

That's exactly what's happened to me. I was bullied growing up at school by my mom. And when I got my first full-time job when I was 23 years old that turned into a total f****** nightmare I was bullied harassed antagonized laughed at gaslighted. And my emotional reaction just fueled the fire for these parasites. It turns out the place I was working when I was 23 turned out to be they would do that with other people and made their lives a living hell. Absolutely the worst place I've ever worked and so toxic

[@tomtbi]

The victim mentality... Something I am working on in therapy...

[@Gypsy_Soul7]

Wow! THIS!!! This is literally my life in every single way. So thankful to have watched this video-SO HELPFUL 🙏🏼✨💖

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks so much for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

[@ModestNeophyte]

Thank you for the video. I am in a really bad place.

[@carbine090909]

😢. I always make coffee and a list.

[@peaceforyou-ag]

Times are tough now but it'll get better.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching. Hope Anna's content will help you heal. If you haven't already, try The Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. Here’s a link to the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@markmattingly2929]

Hey there please get out of your bad place at least find someone you can trust to talk to!! Really bad place is not a good place to be so you're okay just remember that you're going to be okay if you are okay just talk somebody. You have so much more strength being realized!!

[@americasariesson1862]

This is a keeper! Thanks Anna. Since identifying that my wiring is at odds with what’s considered normal all of this is beginning to make sense.

[@Mysticalbooh]

Thank you for taking time to give examples. It helped me relate.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

[@misticangel318]

Do you have tips on handling interactions with others with these strong emotions? Especially at work. As a manager, as a co-worker, etc. giving and receiving feedback seems to be the most difficult.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Here are some of Anna's videos that you might find interesting: www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy/search?query=work Nika@TeamFairy

[@mariajmc6557]

Never get this blessing anywhere else.... thank you Anna...

[@SheyB-sl5kg]

This message came in at the right time. Thank you Fairy❤😊❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

[@juliedyanneal-rihani1455]

There she goes again, explaining myself to myself. This one is so timely, they frequently are. Thank you! ❤️🙏❤️

[@jorgiestevenson3836]

I absolutely love your videos they help me so much on my healing journey into recovery from many many different things

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad the channel has been helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@carbine090909]

Heard. 😢

[@MightyTenor]

This is life changing. Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're so welcome! Nika@TeamFairy

[@clws9673]

if i had heard this 2 years ago, i would not have believed that i could have results so wonderful! i am starting to be capable of all of those things that you mentioned at 12:59 in this video. i stay "normal" more often than i don't now and if i do start to deregulate, i know what to do to take control of myself again. thank you again for sharing these tools and reminding me "we don't have to live like this"

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That is wonderful! You're doing a great work, keep it up! Nika@TeamFairy

[@cloudyskies5497]

This is definitely something I am interested in, and now I have the term for it: emotional sobriety. I would willingly trade the elation for that centered, grounded, contentment, especially since it means I'm also trading in the spiraling frustration.

[@Grammamellow1]

I fully support this!!! Thanks AGAIN CRAPPY 🧚‍♀️ FAIRY. YER AWESOME.

[@VeronicaDuignan]

Just lost a good friend/ lover due to my dysregulation

[@HermeticWorlds]

Sorry to hear that, I'm currently in neurofeedback therapy to help with my dysregulation, it's honestly amazing and making me feel much calmer and at peace. Please google it if you're interested, I highly recommend it.

[@peaceforyou-ag]

Keep going. Some individuals are mirrors in our healing journey. You'll come out clearer and better.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sorry to hear that. You may want to try Daily Practice (a free course) which can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD. Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD Nika@TeamFairy

[@craigmerkey8518]

I always learn so much ! Thanks you to infinity !

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Happy to hear that! Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@juliahenderson5418]

I needed to hear this. I know life is supposed to flow thru you but when most interaction is negative, it's hard to be positive. Most days, I feel hollow. I have a small group of great friends and a couple family still alive. Thanks for the videos, they are a gift right now for us hurting.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for taking the time to comment! You may like The Daily Practice (free course): bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@TheSilverDartRacing]

Thanks i needed this today.

[@HappyRisks]

Crappy Childhood Fairy it is so amazing, in past videos you mention chores that I need doing. I think how does she know? Well dishes have to soak sometimes. I had them all done. Then entropy. That darn entropy messing everything up again. lol

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We need a t-shirt: "The Darn Entropy" lol!

[@Tellyawhat4]

Thank you for another insightful video. A lot of what you say resonates with me. I'm certainly another victim of CPTSD and understanding that this condition exists has given me quite a few "aha" moments and the motivation to deprogram myself and start healing. Your videos are gold.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. We're here to support you! Nika@TeamFairy

[@peaceforyou-ag]

I believe in Karma. As I heal, I see how I've been hurt unconsciously and then I hurt other people, eventually Karma returned but this time with the chance of healing. I hope the cycle reaches completion. The pain ends, not only for myself but for those around me too.

[@1HorseOpenSlay]

Brilliant!

[@emilywinterflood8793]

Anna, I don’t know where I’d be without you ❤ ❤❤thank you so much

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are very welcome! Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@Antonipet-gh1iz]

Wow, amazing page, had a lot of downfalls from my past trauma, it affects my relationship and professional career. Just in time I am searching how to handle my emotions, my thoughts and behavior. I'm so grateful I found you, what a great help!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful! Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@CreativeFishDesignsCharlotte]

Thank you

[@emilywinterflood8793]

Brilliant video and insights. Thank you ❤❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you enjoyed it! Nika@TeamFairy

[@leamatika6053]

thank you!

[@julianjaffe8739]

I've been learning a lot of this in therapy and have been making a lot of progress-I notice every day reactions I have to things that are much more tempered that I wouldn't have had a year or even six months ago. I clicked on this video because I felt like it might resonate with what I've been working on emotionally, and it did. Thank you for these insights, it confirms what I've been working on and learning!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. It's always great to hear when people share their progress in healing! Keep up the great work! Nika@TeamFairy

[@charliefowkes1932]

Super helpful thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! -Frida@TeamFairy

[@tomtbi]

I have had fellow TBI survivors have issues with Alcohol and or drug addiction... Needless to say some of these people are no longer with us...😢 sad...

[@rainestorm762]

I feel like you described me. This helped so so much thank you 💜💜💜

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are not alone. We are glad that you're here! -Frida@TeamFairy

[@TheBlackPensSecret]

Congratulations ❤❤❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@TheLove1Makes]

Thanks

[@ronaldwiggins3226]

Yes we are now in a culture of over emotionality, there is an infantilisation of adults, it is not helpful, annoying, draining and detrimental to us all.

[@Jo-whoknowshowmany]

Agreed wholeheartedly.

[@FriendofDorothy]

and it's frightening to see how many of our politicians and people in high positions of public responsibility appear to be people with C-PTSD or other trauma and how impulsively they respond to criticism. Some of them seem like juveniles when it comes to how they communicate and react in the political arena.. I'm pretty sure there is a great crisis of faith in our politicians and this is why many are so apathetic or despairing as to the political process and those who wield power in our country's well-being.

[@robertrowan8174]

Cast is Anna my mother always chewed me out humiliated me and made me feel shame fear and Terror To all the time I would go into flight and flight mode and emotionally react and overreact and I'm acting like that with my girlfriend and she's trying to help defuse my behaviors❤

[@Jo-whoknowshowmany]

I have been searching for this term to explain what I have found so difficult, without knowing what to call it. This is hugely helpful. However, at the end of the clip, the explanations of things to show if one has been able to do this were simply far too much for me, and I just couldn't cope with hearing how I'm still failing, yet again, even after all this time. I ended up disregulated after the list at the end.

[@Charlotte-Willow]

Is disregulation the same thing as a panic attack?

[@maddscientist3170]

yes

[@timothysmith7888]

It’s safe to say that all panic attacks are dysregulating, but not everything that is dysregulating is a panic attack.

[@ElmoBiotech]

A panic attack would be a specific type of disregulation.

[@tomtbi]

I agree it is always best not to make rash decisions when you are dysregulated... But sometimes that is easier said than done...

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

True, that's why we recommend The Daily Practice. It is a good tool that can help with getting regulated. You can learn it for free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@erinb2887]

YES!!!!🤯

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@rhonii6259]

You have to hear nothing sides. To get to the root!

[@prussian5770]

When dentist messes up my teeth as has happened several times I have months of trauma come back up. Just happened a me nth ago and I still can't face it

[@sandyzeiss2589]

I ant got the patience to wait for the answer.

[@tomtbi]

I read the daily CODA passage from my CODA group every day to deal with everything...

[@jsigversion1]

Hi Anna, do you only do videos on letters from members of your website? I know you must be ridiculously overwhelmed with letters and queries for advice, but I have a ridiculously crazy situation I've been in for a few years now and would love to get your take on it from your KZbin videos. Thank you for all of your videos and work!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

anyone can send a letter. Here's the form to submit it: bit.ly/CCF_Letters

[@karenpoirier9352]

Anna is the mom I never had

[@kristashort469]

Ok so this talked a great deal about what emotional sobriety is not and it talked a great deal about what life is like when you are emotionally sober but it didn’t say much about how to get there.. did I miss something? All I really got was exercise and the daily practice.

[@frankbreuer8849]

I'm not too sure. Expressing what we feel requires a safe space. It's not about oversharring or "being vulnerable" with each and everyone. It's about having someone we can talk to about whatever we want without holding back. When the response is equivalent to no judgement I'd call it unconditional love and we feel heard and that we belong. There is no better place to be.

[@jamesrara]

Will there be an audio book version of Re-regulated?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes! Recording it in late June.

[@julieleong348]

Hi Anna, i heard that you mentioned compartmentalise, can you help to explain this term , how should it be understood correctly? Please help me understand this term😊

[@Leslie-ye2is]

So it's just the same as living in recovery from alcohol and drugs, be as flat as a table: not too low and not too high.

[@deniszen1]

Thanks Anna! I was kinda kidnapped with another young girl as a kid in Montreal in Canada and both beaten and raped together... My first ex has been molested too. One employee was molested, that I tried to helped out by a multirecidivist at my last workplace which has reactivated me into a split personality like the Wolverine character in the X-Men movies... So I know way to much about all what you've talked about...

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sorry you and that girl have experienced that. Hope you can find help and support here. We're all rooting for you! Nika@TeamFairy

[@tracy3812]

I try to respond instead of react. My response is (often) delayed bec I need time to reflect to generate my response.

[@daphneglasurus7886]

It’s odd to me personally that so many CPTSD sufferers from childhood have trouble with emotional regulation in that they can’t contain their emotions. For me, it was completely the opposite. I was the only one capable of emotional regulation from seven years old on while the adults in my family had none. 30 years later, my emotions are always regulated to the extent I rarely show much emotion. Is this such a rare manifestation for CPTSD? It’s just hard for me to comprehend how you could be abused by emotionally disregulated adults and end up being like them.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

No, feeling frozen can be form of dysregulation.

[@daphneglasurus7886]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy it’s like my emotions are regulated in that they’re under tight control and don’t guide my decisions, but I’m dissociating from them and process them more slowly. But I’m so functional due to my compartmentalization that nobody can see what’s going on inside, which makes sense when you know my mother strangled me when I was crying as a toddler. Better to bottle up and take care of The emotional people than express messy emotion and get nothing done.

[@worldofcats9611]

I am an emotional mess 😵‍💫

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@carly106]

I would like to take the quiz but it won’t accept my email address. I receive from you all the time at this address.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hmmm. Please write to my team at [e-mail] and they can figure out what's going on.

[@evadebruijn]

✌️

[@Peace-tk3gr]

This upsets me because I'm mostly triggered by my work. I can't seem to stop the irritation and the foul language. I give up 😞

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

If you're interested, Anna's webinar about managing dysregulation at work can be a good thing to watch: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/webinar-dysregulation-at-work. You can also take a free course, The Daily Practice, that led to Anna's own healing and she uses it to this day: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

[@gottabme]

🔍👁️👁️🔎

[@mysteradio]

[@markmattingly2929]

I am at a point to where I am so tired of my immediate family just dismisses me. Over and over and over again now you must understand I'm 62 years old My children are grown they're in their 30s. I have been going through the worst times of my life. Understand or care these two words do not resonate at all with my family members and it's the hardest thing in the world do you know how just regulated I get when a family member says oh you're fine there's nothing wrong with you You just have some issues you're depressed You don't understand what's going on You need help you need help. So again in my life I go seek help I am currently just had over 80 session hours of mental assistance! From a very good therapist that I liked a whole lot as a matter of fact she was the best therapist I've ever had I'm 62 years old I've been suffering from CPTSD for a long long very long long time but yet my wife continually ridicules me and says the therapist is not helping at all the therapist is terrible they're no good. She doesn't realize that this therapist is good for me and then this therapist does care about me I know she does she's a wonderful therapist she has helped me through talk therapy more than anything because no one else will listen. I just have one thing to say if you're a family member of someone that has CPTSD get the pamphlets that are out there that say how you can help someone with PTSD by not doing this and doing more of this. I only wish my family members were free this stuff I send it to them but they laugh and just close the book on what I'm trying to say so I just go straight back to my seclusion and to my total non-existence that they believe it's just a joke. I hope each and every one of you out there understand you're not a joke You're not a person of total mistrust you are a person!! In your exist ence is very very important at least it is to me and I don't know you but I care about you because if you're going through what I've been through it's like living in hell and the devil drives the car for you and he drives you all around all the time making things worse or attempting to make things worse maybe that's not the devil maybe that's a family member It could be it could very well be! Stop listening now I know it's not good to isolate but for me it's been very good I go into my small area up seclusion and I have studied over and over again things that have helped me like this channel now I still dysregulate all the time! But I do have the ability to reregulate my thoughts and to rethink about me and me only so I know who I am I'm a great person I'm a very very great person I'm just a person that's still broke and it's intermittent sometimes I feel fixed sometimes I feel broke it's part of the process but when I feel broken as I said I silently get out my pen in my piece of paper and I write down my feelings while I'm feeling them and what I can do to make it better no one else just me it seems to help I hope this has helped you stay in there fight the good fight that's what you're there for You're there to fight the good fight the people who choose not to fight the good fight with you even if their family that's okay do this for you not for them if they don't care about you I hate to say this maybe you shouldn't care about them I have had so many emotional dysregulations that it makes you feel so less than so hopeless so silent! Your thoughts are valid your ideals are worthy and you are a very special person I promise you you are very special person! Do yourself a favor take baby steps and start doing small things every single day and makes you worthy even though you're worthy with doing nothing still as she says the fairy says you've got to do small things baby steps are wonderful things when I took baby steps as a child I got smacked down a lot literally and physically smack down a whole lot when I would run to the person that I looked up to and thought he was the best thing in the whole wide world he smack me in the face on the body it didn't matter and would tell me get the hell out of here you piece of shit! As a young boy I never forget when I was in third grade they called my mother up to the school. It was the second day of school when the teacher asked what my name was I told her my name was piece of shit!! Man did I get in trouble that day!! Peace out please whatever you do make this day your day Make tomorrow your tomorrow Make the future your future hold it tight grasp it so tight you can't breath and no matter what anyone says You're worthy you are very worthy and I am too!! PEACE OUT!!!

[@wesliepowell5698]

Preach it, brother'!

[@user-cb7cz3ty5p]

Now there is that inner critic who is saying : U spent Ur entire life unable to live and now Ur doing these utube videos ... Just get over it stop being a baby Nd grow up! That inner critic is the worst

[@ratelhoneybadger]

Road to 1M subscribers!😃🔥🌻I thank God that your healing message is reaching every corner of the Earth.🙏🏾🤍

[@tracy3812]

I try to respond instead of react. My response is (often) delayed bec I need time to reflect to generate my response.