CRAZY Things NEW MOMS Say in the ER!! *real patient stories!*

[@Mrs.Silversmith]

I'm autistic and they gave me some drugs during labor (not an epidural) to take the edge off the pain and it had the odd effect of making me forget all my social skills. I proceeded to talk in a robot-like monotone until the stuff wore off. In retrospect it was one of the most hilarious things ever because here I am complaining about how much it hurts and how I'm just too tired to push anymore while talking in a complete monotone. The nurses actually had to step out into the hallway to a couple of times because they just couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I have to give my Dr. props for delivering the baby with a straight face.

[@cpapcyborg]

I guess Robo-Mom was your nickname 🤖Beep Boop

[@1One2Three5Eight13]

The second time around, based on the first one (in retrospect my midwife was really worried at how little I was talking in labour with my first), I told my midwife that I get really non-verbal during labour. She brushed it off, telling me that everyone does. Afterwards she looked at me and said "you really do stop talking". They clearly need to give autism-specific training, because even without drugs I lost my social skills! Just the pain did it for me.

[@faithrabbit4330]

Oh thank goodness, there ARE other options beside epidural

[@Poots_80]

Normally I get chatty when I’m nervous but don’t speak at all while I’m in pain. I went from laughing, crying, screaming to silent resting b face during the course of my labor. I did have an epidural and something for the pain/ to calm me down. I was alone so there was no one there to explain the shift ( I am autistic) and I had just assumed they had read it in my chart. They kept asking me if I was ok and I would just kind of mumble “yeah” quietly.

[@katiel7166]

Have not had a baby, but did have a drugless IUD insertion (recommend the IUD, do not recommend the drug-free insertion.) I was alternating yelling and being very quiet, focusing on breathing my dr said it reminded her of her own labour! 😂

[@liseturner1019]

My grandfather apparently decided to dress up nicely for my mother's birth. Big occasion and everything. My grandmother apparently grabbed his tie while pushing and nearly strangled him. Now he advises all expectant fathers to opt for a bow tie.

[@joyfulhomemaker8053]

This is absolutely adorable! Like one of those occasions you tell your grandkids about… which he did! Lol

[@carolbelyeu-Alhaddad]

😂

[@megan893]

That's so cute. I love that he doesn't tell them to abandon dressing up, or a tie altogether, he just says, use a bow tie. Cute

[@Suzanneyhearts]

Safety AND class, good men do still exist 😍

[@Silverbells99]

😂😂😂

[@jenniferlindsey2015]

My third child came so quickly, she showed up in the middle of my epidural. They didn’t believe me when I was saying, “Uh, guys, she’s here.” I could feel her crowning. They actually told me to stay still and wait until they had finished! I begged them to check me. They refused until the anesthesiologist was done. By that time, most of her head was out. I barely pushed once to finish delivering her! I’ve never seen nurses look so shocked when they finally got around to checking me. Like, I’m pretty sure I knew what it felt like by now, this was my THIRD child! Man, did they hustle fast after that!

[@Verses999fkyeh]

People don’t listen to women 😂

[@koellekind]

​@@Verses999fkyeh Bad hospital staff does not listen to patients who are not extremely assertive in general, which means that it's mostly women they don't listen to, unfortunately. Good hospital staff listens to everyone (unless they have sound reasons not to). 😊

[@RNMom424]

Mine wasn't THAT startling, but b/c I had come in too early that afternoon, the nurses didn't think I knew what I was doing. This was my SECOND, both natural vaginal births. They FINALLY take me in & check & I'm only 5 or 6 cm. Doc comes in. I'm saying "I gotta push! I GOTTA PUSH!" They tell him I'm not dilated enough, I'm not ready! He takes one look & tells them, very quietly, "Get her... to the delivery room... NOW!!!!" Then her shoulder stuck. A half hour just to get her loose! A total of about an hour in labor & delivery! But she was fine. All 9# 10 oz, 18" of her! The little Watermelon!! As round as she was long!

[@raeannaruby8306]

That same thing happened to me with my middle son! Nobody believed me, they were prepping me for magnesium because I was eclamptic, and he was delivered by a student nurse. I feel so bad for her, but it had to have been a hell of an experience.

[@myredpencil]

@@RNMom424 Thanks for your lively story! As a doula myself, I especially value it💗my 2 girls were over 9 as well, & the first one got stuck too! That one grew up to be a nurse. 🥰 Thanks for all you do!

[@VeretenoVids]

Family story (told by the person who experienced it, so verifiable): When my great grandmother went into labor the first time (1914), they called the midwife. When the midwife arrived, she asked my great-grandmother to take everything off from the waist down. Great-grandmother objected, saying something to the effect of only needing to bare her belly button. The midwife looked at her, gave her a little pat on the shoulder and said, "Oh no, my dear, babies come out the same way they go in." Great-grandmother was mortified. But, supposedly by her 5th kid she didn't care about being overexposed anymore and she made sure all her nieces were "properly" educated before they got married. (Great-grandma had only boys.)

[@tiasara5967]

My grandmother thought the same thing. Imagine the shock.

[@Dysgyzed]

Aww. Little Jack. Someone loved that baby enough to make sure he was someplace safe and had a little mark of love by dressing him in a Jack-O-Lantern outfit.

[@littleredhen]

In 1928 my grandmother was 13 years old and was called over to the neighbor's house (mined you this is in rural West Virginia Appalachia) and the woman of the house was in labor with her first child. They had no electricity in the house and no running water. By the light of a kerosene lantern and on the kitchen table my grandmother helped this woman deliver her child. This was the first time my grandmother had been a midwife. She had never seen a baby been born before. When the baby came out of course babies are not clean and pink. They are a hot mess. My grandmother thought the baby what's covered in sores and poo. She didn't realize what part of the body the baby came out of. Once she started washing off the baby it cleaned up and was a natural-looking baby, she said that made her feel a lot better. Because the mother kept on asking," Is my baby okay? ". And she did not know what to tell her. And when the afterbirth came out she thought at first it was a twin. 👀🐵🙊🙉💬🤔 My grandmother went on to marry at the age of 15. And have 10 kids (with one set of twins which one was my dad) of her own by the time she was 35. She lived to be 98 years old and have 6 generations alive by the time she passed away in 2013., with 216 descendants 😊

[@lisagill4139]

That a lot of grandkids

[@megan893]

1) that's an amazing story 2) my great grandma also took a lot of pride in how many grandchildren she had. We used to joke around with her that it wasn't biblical times, anymore, lol 😆 I miss her ❤️

[@monicahotchkiss4017]

It's spelled mind

[@Blau_Frosch]

​@@monicahotchkiss4017 it's spelled "you know what she's talking about"

[@Blau_Frosch]

That sounds like a rough life

[@Photobunce]

My grandma who has my mom in England during WWII, didn’t know either. She thought the line from the bellybutton down opened and asked the midwife when that would happen. She had the most horrifying feeling when the midwife said “hunny, it comes out the same way it went in.”

[@Andain_83]

@photobunce oh that poor woman! I really feel sorry for women like her that were never properly warned/informed about some of the more unfathomably frightening mechanics of childbirth.

[@tanyakilbane7636]

@@Andain_83wait until they experience menopause!

[@AubreyÆsohn]

Maybe that lady thought it was like a turkey timer? 😂

[@myredpencil]

@@tanyakilbane7636 Sorry you had a rough time, but it isn't as drastic as birth! It's just soooo spread out & unpredictable, kind of a reverse puberty. I have a really regular soy intake, so I think that's helped me because my menopause was no biggie.

[@lilyflare2]

I told my 9 year old daughter that they come out of the vagina, and that her brother would come out my vagina too. She kept saying, "No, he's gonna come out your butt." I think she was just trolling. She absolutely adores her baby brother now though.

[@molly1361]

You missed every opportunity to call him a jack in the box.

[@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber]

Nah, see... when he was still in the womb (or even better, on his way out), he was "Jack in the Crack"!

[@justjo7282]

That's the first thing I thought of!!

[@rhonda503]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@CatherinePrice-pz6id]

Had my second child at an overseas military hospital. Was in labor 10 hrs at the hospital. No epidural. In the delivery room,male, navy captain Dr said, "Push,Harder, you're NOT trying." After contraction, I raised on my elbows and replied, " Till you can climb up on this table and do a better job, WORK with me!" Dr silenced. On next contraction, baby born ,placed in tray covered. Baby girl screaming, thrashing throws cover out on the floor. Dr looks from cover to me to my husband and says to him, "Now you have two of them. " Hated that Doctor.

[@myredpencil]

Good for you! Great fierce mama with plenty of power!

[@jmdenison]

LOL you did an excellent job of telling him off. But I'm only always surprised why when doctors and nurses are rude to pregnant women they don't end up with a bunch of scalpels stuck in their butts or something. Pregnant women are hormonal raging hormones and excruciating pain they're convinced they're going to die and they will lash out at anyone

[@llareia]

What an asshole. Bravo Zulu mama!

[@franciannecollson7427]

I would rather have a veterinarian deliver my child than a military doctor. Sorry, not sorry.

[@jmdenison]

@@franciannecollson7427 lol. but unless you are an officer, you won't see one, just an LPN or maybe the doctor's secretary.

[@Starjumper2000four]

I took my baby in because she coughed one time. He father and I had a terrible cough for weeks and I was afraid she caught it. The dr laughed, but he did a test for whooping cough. He said it would probably be negative. 20 minutes later we were quarantined along with anybody we had been around for 2 weeks. It was whooping cough. I had it when I was in the hospital delivering her. It’s a miracle there wasn’t an outbreak.

[@KatieDe_G]

Why are you not vaccinated against whooping cough if you don't mind me asking

[@NinaCohen-dl4hm]

The whooping shot doesn't last forever. You can get after the immunity from the shot wears off. Dr. Google has the details (I forgot)

[@melodycuthbert4840]

In 1998 I had whooping cough. I was patient zero in a whooping cough pandemic. I gave it to my siblings, my 6 week old niece, the kids in her day care, the kids in my sisters boyfriends moms daycare, it spread like wildfire. I felt like an ass.

[@Starjumper2000four]

@@KatieDe_G I had been. I didn’t know you had to get booster shots.

[@myredpencil]

@@KatieDe_G Adults aren't usually given pertussis (whooping cough)or DPT (diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis)vaccines unless they work in the medical field with patient contact. Childhood vaccination can diminish in effectiveness. I got vaccinated recently because I do have patient contact as a doula, I am not a doctor. But I do play one on KZbin.

[@wendyschutze2818]

When I worked for the Ambulance Service I delivered a baby just as we arrived at the front of the hospital. Was a very peaceful birth!

[@dietotaku]

when my son was born he had a mild pneumothorax so had to stay in NICU for a couple of days until it resolved. he was a c-section baby weighing in at 11.5lbs, easily twice the size of the other NICU babies, and I had named him Benjamin so the NICU nurses all called him Big Ben 😁

[@esthermcafee5293]

Same! My baby was full term, but had to spend 10 days in the NICU for respiratory issues. He looked like he could beat up the other babies and steal their lunch money!

[@alexacarrillo4339]

My sister had the same experience with her 12 lb baby that ended up being a c-section after more than 40 hrs of labor. He wasn’t great at breathing but was huge compared to the other babies in the NICU.

[@CindysGems]

@@esthermcafee5293🤣🤣🤣

[@CindysGems]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@CindysGems]

@@alexacarrillo4339. OMG‼️‼️

[@radzsing]

"pointless!" nearly fell off my chair because I was laughing so hard.

[@RaeMama3]

My son was 34 minutes away from being car baby 😅 Because of COVID protocols, it took forever to check in. He was almost hallway baby

[@carolgibson-wilson4354]

My sis-in-law delivered #1 in the hospital elevator. #2 was born in a cab. #3 in Dr.office.😂😂 The last one was 3 months early. Sil had no pain! B!+

[@RaeMama3]

@carolgibson-wilson4354 Must be nice! 😂

[@kaymarie1246]

I actually have a cousin named Baby Girl, it’s on her birth certificate. They couldn’t decide on a name, thinking a name would come to them. It didn’t. Everyone calls her BG. I remember telling her as a young teen that when she got older, she could pick a name and change it, but she didn’t. By then it had stuck. She did go through a phase where if somebody asked what did BG stand for she would come up with some pretty inventive names. I always felt bad for her, but she once said to me “hippie parents, what are you gonna do?” 😑

[@sevenandthelittlestmew]

Same thing happened to my dad. They did Last Name, First Name on the certificate of live birth, so dad was called Boy Baby by all the neighborhood moms (Baby Boy was Boy, Baby by the Last, First naming protocol). He hated it. They did get his birth certificate amended when he started grade school, but the name stuck, all the way through high school.

[@kaymarie1246]

@@sevenandthelittlestmew Poor guy!

[@Jenny-uv4dl]

I took care of a patient named "Tiny" and she was far from "Tiny"

[@Avrysatos]

The foam story is why we need education instructions about this stuff.

[@bigal5778]

I'm willing to bet there are instructions on the packaging. If they can't look at that, they're not going to partake of other educational info.

[@Avrysatos]

@@bigal5778 they're probably in tiny print on a massive insert with a lot of intimidating side effects listed.

[@pyewacketkitty8404]

All she needed to do was read the instructions. You can't fix stupid.

[@SpaceFairie]

She probably thought she already knew everything, being the first to graduate high school and all.

[@Avrysatos]

@@SpaceFairie The shame around asking about bed time things is why she wouldn't have asked for help. Treating it taboo does no one any favors.

[@Dreamsenshi]

OMG. I was always afraid of being bit while breastfeeding, but HOLY HECK! My mind wasn't ready! XD

[@our3geckos]

I breastfed ALL 3 of our children. Only our daughter, who is our middle child, tried to bite me... I learned that if you bring your baby close to your breast while they are nursing their nose is then blocked for a few seconds and they unlatch, and she NEVER BIT ME AGAIN‼️ It doesn't HARM them at all, and it teaches them boundaries. I learned this from a lactation specialist. Between ALL three of our children, I breastfed our children for 10 years straight. One going into the NEXT. At some point, one would overlap the others and I would be tandem breastfeeding two at a time. All 3 of them are 2 years & 8 months apart from each other. We did child lead weaning and let each child decide when they were DONE breastfeeding. Our youngest son was 4 when he decided to stop. Unfortunately, it was because I had my gallbladder removed and our oldest son told him that the 3 TINY POKE HOLES from the laparoscopic surgery WOULD SUCK HIM INTO MY BODY💔😭‼️ Our oldest son is 5 years older than his younger brother, hence the humbug (trouble making)😈‼️ Luckily, he was only nursing at night before bedtime at this point for the MOST part. It wasn't for nutrition any longer. And I had a wonderful nurse. I had pumped & dumped before my husband brought the kids to see me at the hospital. To make sure ALL the anesthesia and any other medications were out of me. Since he didn't nurse, she was able to go down to the hospital kitchen and grab a head of cabbage and keep it in the nurse's icebox and bring me leaves of cabbage to help with the swelling and overage that happened to me because he didn't BREASTFEED. I will always be grateful for that wonderful nurse❣️ She definitely went above and beyond what she needed to do for me🫂🥰❣️ 💞 ALOHA FROM HAWAI'I 💞🌹 LYSSA 🌹

[@carolwalters6469]

I breastfed both of our kids. Our 2nd was nursing, and something caught his attention, and he clamped down and swung his head! He didn't bite my nipple off, but he did draw blood. That was awful!

[@Dreamsenshi]

@carolwalters6469 😬

[@cynhanrahan4012]

When I was in labor there were only two of us in labor on the entire floor. This was in the 70s and epidurals were not standard procedure. Lady down the hall was screaming for Jesus to save her during contractions and calling her man every name in the book in between along with lots of You will NEVER touch me again mf. I was in considerable pain myself, but got the giggles and when the resident came in to check on me, he got the giggles, too. Had to close the door because we did NOT want mom down the hall to hear us. But we could still hear her.

[@jenniferhart559]

I was born in '74. My mom said she got demerol when she had me. Sounded like we were both "out of it;" she doesn't remember the delivery part very much, and says they had to smack me around some to get me breathing 🥊👶

[@sharonc396]

My MIL was a nurse - she gave birth on the ward she worked on. That night the fire alarm went off and she jumped up and carried out the evacuation - leaving her baby behind, until she was outside with a load of labouring women and realized she was not in uniform and she was the patient. Luckily baby was picked up on the second ward check through and the fire was minor.

[@katiebaker5662]

Okay my 5yr old has asked me "how do babies come out of moms?" I told her the truth. Her response "hahaha...that's funny"

[@libertymceachern8773]

I had my 2nd when my 1st was 3. I told him how the baby comes out, he looked at me like I was lying and said "uh uh". When I convinced him it was true, he said "that sounds like it hurts"!

[@katiebaker5662]

@libertymceachern8773 and he's absolutely correct. Smart boy, compassionate too. Other people's feelings are hard to comprehend so young.

[@Kizuna31]

My mom likes to tell the story of when I asked what "that hole" was for. She said "pee remember?" "Nu-uh mommy the OTHER hole" and after she explained I apparently looked at her in horror and said "that's the 2nd reason I'm not having babies then" she apparently never got a straight answer as to what the first reason was 😂

[@PercyJackson-c7f]

@@libertymceachern8773hope he grows up to be a doctor

[@lizgreer6888]

I had a 10cm ovarian tumor surrounded by a 15cm cyst that corkscrewed around the ovary. One of my symptoms: unable to poop. I could go 7 days and only poop a small pebble the whole time. I was super bloated. After the surgery i spent a lot of time in the bathroom

[@kaykort4131]

CNA was working on cleaning me up after birth of my first child who had to spend a little time in the NICU. The CNA was telling me how she'd often thought of stealing a baby. Yikes! Take me to see my baby NOW!!

[@NurseInTraining]

Why would she tell you that?!😮 That's terrifying.

[@elizabethbarton3047]

I've had a few people take my words literally, I'm a very sarcastic person btw. Very frustrating for both parties. I had said after being asked how much I must love my new baby (come on obviously I do, she knew me!) So I said jokingly no, not really and laughed. Had the woman had pearls to clutch she would have, she was horrified!! Called me a few choice words even after I said I'm just being sarcastic. Some people have zero understanding of what sarcasm is

[@kelsbentley2822]

"As bad as it tastes, it should work better." Ma'am. Are you under the impression this is an ORAL MEDICATION?

[@andream9470]

Just goes to show why sex ed is important.

[@YoMommazNUTZ]

I can honestly say the whole niple being bitten off was why I refused to nurse after teeth came in. I saw multiple stitches needed in multiple niples while I was an emt, so no way was I risking it

[@joyfulhomemaker8053]

It’s pretty simple to train babies not to bite. My babies self weaned around 20 months. The trying to bit phase didn’t last because if there was any indication they would bite, I immediately removed them and wouldn’t nurse again until the next feeding time

[@YoMommazNUTZ]

@joyfulhomemaker8053 Yeah, that is great, but again, I have seen the damage that can happen, causing me to not want to try it, I didn't say it was something that always happened or that you can't teach them not do it. I said I didn't want to chance it.

[@joyfulhomemaker8053]

@@YoMommazNUTZ Fair enough. But there are lots of things you will always have to train your children about. Many of them far riskier that getting nipped 👊🏻

[@julienelson6506]

Will just say.. .not fun... (no stitches thankfully!!)

[@megan893]

I didn't even know this was a thing, but it makes perfect sense. Just had my baby and maybe when teeth come in I'll just pump and switch to bottles

[@dsvance1]

Well . . . let's find out where that cigarette burn came from!

[@brendashelonko2149]

While many of these stories are funny, they are almost all just sad.

[@ALZulas]

I was out with friends (none of us as healthcare workers) and told them I was thinking of going to your show and every single one of them went "you mean the nurse guy??" 😆 Tickets were purchased immediately and now we're all coming to one of your shows in January together

[@jodil1209]

His show is so funny!! I took my daughter's a year and a half ago, who are both healthcare workers. One's a nurse, and my other is still in school for being a radiography tech. They were too shy to speak up. It was so funny!!

[@annamarie4616]

I LITERALLY sat on my sons head as they gave me an epidural 😅 as soon as they had me lay back over it was over. They thought I was joking... he was considered a spontaneous birth. Was in labor for a total of 1.5 hrs!

[@monkeynumbernine]

I have 2 sons born 10 years apart, I had both of them in under an hour. The first one took 15 minutes and the second one took 45 minutes 🎉

[@kristen9106]

Do you mean a precipitous birth? That’s when baby comes really fast. A spontaneous birth is any vaginal birth without the use of assistive devices 😊

[@ladyj9330]

My first, born in 90 minutes (HUGE HEAD kept getting stuck), My second, born in 17 minutes (she got her shoulder stuck and had to be pushed back in to release her shoulder to avoid breaking collarbone) My third, born in 3 minutes. (Would have been faster if the doctor had been in the room! Had to wait for him to 'catch' her. Nurse had me taking deep breaths and blowing out HARD! That will stop contractions!!)

[@makinzimckenzie9250]

Happened to me. Water broke. Went straight to the hospital. They are asking me questions. Hooking me onto machines and I say she’s coming. They don’t believe me. Finally after me saying it three times they looked and sure enough. She slid right out of me. 2 hours from start to finish.

[@oliviareames1500]

"Does this make them twins?" I can't 💀

[@nola281]

So today is my daughters birthday, she's turning twelve but when she was born she was 10 pounds 12 ounces, 27 inches tall with curly red hair, quarter inch long nails on hands and toes and three teeth, two on bottom, one on top. The lactation nurse came in and said how are you going to feed her, i said she's getting formula. She asked why and did some level of pressuring to which I responded with she has teeth. She didn't believe me so i told her see for yourself, she looked, went shocked Pikachu and said so you want the shot. I said yes, thank you. Three teeth, no way.

[@koellekind]

I breastfeeded still when my child got teeth. Its definitely possible without having your breast bitten off ;) But to each their own 😊

[@myredpencil]

@@koellekind Thank you for delivering my exact words!! I am a breastfeeding counselor💜

[@loef27]

My son was born with teeth, I just pumped instead of breastfeeding, not just because the teeth but ended up being a plus. ( inverted nips and difficultly with cubital tunnel syndrome and feeling in my arms.)

[@nola281]

@@myredpencil I didn't want to chance it. Obviously you can see she was a couple of weeks overdue and she tried to come early so the doctor gave me a shot to prevent that but warned it could make her bigger. Well he didn't lie about that.

[@ceceyoung7462]

The doctor asked you if you “wanted the shot”…what does that mean? (Sorry for personal questions, Boomer mom of 4 here, but don’t know what “the shot” is.)

[@ESCMenagerie]

Wow, I can’t believe that woman beat up 3 nurses. And here I was feeling bad for accidentally kicking my nurse while I was in labor. I apologized profusely after the contraction was over.

[@jmdenison]

I am not surprised. When I was in an active labor you are totally out of your tree extremely hormonal raging hormones you'll say and do anything can you get that baby out and you feel like you're going to die at any moment. I'm surprised they allow any scalpels in the room

[@jmdenison]

And during labor the strength that your body suddenly possesses is astounding. You feel like you could pick up a refrigerator and throw it about 100% on three nurses I think she could take on at least five or six experience bouncers. Stay away from the pregnant women that's about to deliver

[@chochosan1981]

While I was doing my OB rotation for nursing school; I was in the room of a patient who was in labor. All of a sudden we heard the laboring woman next door scream "Sh*t, sh**t, sh***********************t!". The patient, nurse, and I looked at each other, then burst out laughing.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@tiredofthebs8290]

I got a little irritable during contractions and yelled at my ex-husband, "You did this to me! You put this child in me, now you get him out!!" 😂😂😂

[@juliamccoey7496]

Like why do we laugh at this though? It's honestly the most horrific physical experience I have ever endured; it wasn't a comedy routine, it was real and it happened. If someone screamed in agony from a car accident would you laugh at them? Hell if someone just stubbed their toe and said "Sh*t, sh**t, sh***********************t!" would you laugh? Agony isn't funny.

[@amandamcquillan4741]

​@@juliamccoey7496it's a reaction: laugh or cry. It is funny, though, what people say. I've had two babies. My husband was lucky to still have a hand after deliveries since I squeezed it so hard.

[@Oc3anFlow3r]

My first baby took one of my nipples off too, after a few years it did grow back and is perfectly normal. Apparently they do grow back LOL

[@juliamccoey7496]

Yeah I was surprised when he said 'they don't grow back'... Um yes they do? Unless the entire areola structure was taken out, like in a cancer situation or something, it's going to grow back.

[@Vang4299]

😮😮😮 what??? 🤯🤯🤯

[@kyleeolson2309]

Wooooaaaah!! My son was a really aggressive eater, but I did not know this was possible! My second one is on the way… new fear unlocked

[@Oc3anFlow3r]

@@kyleeolson2309 The head nurse said in all her 30 years there, she had never seen a baby with such a strong suck! Sounds like it's rare. Best wishes with your new baby :D

[@jcollins3182]

Ok I did not know that! But also, holy ouch! I’m so sorry!

[@hontohaunter]

Lol when my eldest sister was born, it was the early 70s and there was a labor room and a seperate delivery room. My mom knew called in a nurse to say she was about to give birth and the nurse told her that there was no way she was giving birth already. My mom kept insisting until the nurse finally lifted the blanket and saw the top of my sister's head. As they pushed her through the hallways they kept shouting "don't push!" While my mom responded back "I can't help it!" A different sibling, the room my mom was put in had a splatter of blood on the wall. My mom started laughing because she thought it was funny, but her ex-husband turned pale and nearly fainted when he turned to see what she was laughing at

[@Nikkimommyof4]

When my son was born my husband and I were still at odds over the name for him. We'd been debating my choice over his for months right up until after he was born. When I was sitting in the hospital room the day after the birth I received a call from the birth certificate office to get our son's name and other information but I had to ask them to call me back since we hadn't yet decided on a name. For two or three days he was simply Baby Boy (Last Name) Eventually we decided on a different name that wasn't any of the two we'd considered. I'd pulled it out of thin air at the last moment and matched it with my husband's middle name to make it more appealing when I suggested it to him.

[@Andain_83]

Good thinking! 😉

[@SpaceFairie]

My husband waited almost down to the minute I went in to labour to finally tell me he had misgivings about the name we had chosen for our son. The name I had been battling the MIL over, weathering bullying and all kinds of stupid manipulation attempts, for 9+ months. It took him that long to man up and say he wanted to discuss a different name. After confirming that this was his honest feeling and not him crumbling to his mother's pressures I told him that his opinion was the only one I was willing to take in to consideration in this matter and why didn't he say something sooner? I was about to pop already. We picked another name with the same initials and almost immediately I felt the first contraction.

[@acatnamedm4529]

Had to do an ultrasound on a young teen who was very clearly pregnant and ready to deliver at any moment. Her mother was carrying on a non-stop monologue about how her kid just suddenly started gaining weight and how the doctor was worried it might be a tumor. Doc had ordered a right upper quad abdominal scan rather than a pelvic scan. Tried to double check the orders with the physician but was told do the damn exam we ordered. OK, doc. Well, her pancreas is fine, but hey there seems to be a foot pushing on her right kidney. Do you think might be the issue? Shut off the speaker because everyone knows what the baby heart beat dopplar sounds like and got hasty basic measurements of "tumor's" head and confirmed heart beat while distracting mom from the screen. I did NOT want to be part of that conversation.

[@sadmermaid]

Was the teen aware and hiding it or was she oblivious too?

[@acatnamedm4529]

@@sadmermaid I honestly don't know. Parent wouldn't let me speak to her alone. She did look terrified, but I don't know if it's because she knew she was pregnant or because she thought she had cancer. I think about her a lot. I hope she and the kid are ok.

[@Dayholly86]

Masterful work as the stoic "I can't tell you a thing" ultrasound technician. Ya'll sometimes see hilarious or devastating information and gotta keep a straight face and calm disposition. Bravo!

[@acatnamedm4529]

@@Dayholly86 I think by stoic you mean 'not all the emotions I am currently dealing with can show up on my face at the same time so I got stuck in a blank stare because my brain did a 404 error '. And the calm was more desperation because mom was clearly crazy & I didn't want to be stuck in a tiny room with her when she found out. I do not envy whoever had to deliver that news.

[@ghostovermyshoulder4365]

​@acatnamedm4529 with the current state of US (assuming that's where you are, it's where I am) reproductive "education" it could go either way.

[@foofersgod]

I was born out of wedlock with my mom's previous name...from a different marriage... HOARE. Yes you pronounce it that way. Back in the day I was called a BASTARD. so... I was BABY BASTARD GIRL HOARE. yep. I was registered 2 months later after my parents got married.

[@celticphoenix2579]

I went to school with a lovely girl with that family name. First name Cheri. She loved answering the phone "Hello wh*re house, which wh*re would you like to speak to?". Obviously I was friends with her given that my family name was routinely mispronounced as a euphemism for lady parts that sounds like small cat.

[@pamelahofman1785]

Car baby's actual name should clearly be Carson for a boy and Carrie for a girl.

[@Emilia923]

Was thinking Carly for a girl

[@feuerling]

​@@Emilia923 Carla

[@ThaatRhiannon-w8q]

Coming from someone who has one natural and 3 c-sections. Be glad when they come out the same way they went in!

[@sassquatch990]

This is probably really tame compared to the other stories in the video and in the comments 😅 when i was having my first baby i had contractions that lasted for 60 seconds with only 50 seconds in between. It felt like i was drowning, I'd have a second to breathe and immediately start drowning again. After 26 hours i remember telling the nurse "just give me a c-section or kill me!" Then i just kept crying kill me until the doctor came in 😂

[@BlackBilby]

Tamer: when I was in labor (4 hours)my contractions were every 10th minute and I napped the other 9 minutes until finally got 10 cm. Than it was 2 sets of 3 pushed and done.

[@myredpencil]

@@BlackBilby Births like that are what we all wish for! You must be a really fit person, did other women in your family have similar labors?

[@juliet3813]

That’s not tame, that’s wild. That is true suffering. There is nothing wrong with an elective c section.

[@LoralyynB]

26 hours, wow you poor thing

[@mirandaandrews2872]

As a woman i laughed waaaaay too hard at that boob joke🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@classmst89]

Dad joke of the video 😂

[@mariahrichardson1745]

That story further convinced me to take birth control.

[@maryellencook9528]

Car baby per SVD --> Spontaneous Vehicular Delivery.

[@raeannaruby8306]

I was all hopped up on all sorts of meds after the C-section with my youngest daughter. I took one look at her and asked why does she look like my mother? I thought she was my mom😂😂😂😂

[@BackyardRebel]

My 5th looked like my mom!

[@yolandemaloney371]

I was in an accident in 1998. Dont have much feeling in my lowet body. I had 2 kids. Never had an epidural. Because i could never feel the pain. Only the pressure of when the baby was almost born.. 😂 I was still walking when i was 9cm dilated. Drs thought is was insane. But when they took an xray of my back after the birth they understood. I can walk. But have pins and needles most of the time.

[@redmoondesignbeth9119]

I have 3 kids..now adults. The first was born in a military hospital. #2 a regular hospital where I was born. #3 was a midwife. I have a photo of them sitting in a line. My friend is a midwife and I asked her if she could tell who was born where. She nailed it. It reflects their personalities also.

[@vermontvoice13]

How does where you’re brought into the world have any type of bearing on your personality? That makes no sense sorry

[@redmoondesignbeth9119]

@@vermontvoice13 It was the attitude and the energy of the staff. A military hospital is the opposite of a midwife.

[@JV-zl5ts]

​@@redmoondesignbeth9119lol. I took it to mean the military born baby was disciplined/patriotic, lol. The middle child middle of the road n lastly a hippie/carefree child. Wow, my mind really was way off. Hahaha 😆

[@redmoondesignbeth9119]

@JV-zl5ts you are pretty close. The military hospital was regimented . No one cared who I was. You had to follow procedures . That girl became a Fundamentalist who has "Rules". #2 has a high end body shop and makes a lot of $$ and him and his buddies go shooting and he drinks a lot and drive fancy cars very fast.. # 3 is an artist who taught in community college with a GED and his kids have Geronimo DNA.

[@JV-zl5ts]

​@redmoondesignbeth9119 hahaha, sounds like a very interesting group. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you a blessed Christmas.

[@nikkihayes9236]

"Jack" In The Box!😄💖🥰

[@steveioe]

OMG!

[@nikkihayes9236]

@steveioe But I said it with Peace&Love! You mean to tell me that reference NEVER crossed your mind?🙂🙃

[@melindacastillo1631]

Several years ago a baby was found abandoned near a dumpster. He was taken to the nearest hospital, which was called South Austin Medical Center. While in the hospital he was called Sam C.

[@PatRNBSN]

Regarding the 600 lb. woman, "how" is a legitimate question. I took care of a 600 lb. man and had to catheterize him. It took 4 people to pull away the rolls of adipose tissue before a 5th nurse could access his penis to insert the catheter.

[@shaelynmickleborough6276]

When i was giving birth to my son (hes my second) I was laughing through most of my contractions, but not humorously, just because thats what I do when I'm in a lot of pain. But the funniest part was when they were wiping me down after I gave birth and pushed out the placenta, i kept giggling because all of the blood flow down there made every touch TICKLE?!? Im like backing away and laughing, the nurse is like "oh yes, this part can be painful" and I was like "Oh, its honestly more ticklish than anything" and the nurse just looked at me and was like ".... thats the first time Ive heard THAT". 😂

[@calicolyon]

For the dookie baby: most times if you are heavier I have been told that some doctors will advise that you lose weight to make it easier to conceive. In my mind it's a legitimate question of how did she get pregnant.

[@rebeccazegstroo6786]

My sister was in labor with her first child when she heard another laboring woman yelling that she just needed to go to the toilet so she could poop.

[@myredpencil]

This often happens, because the baby's head is clearly pressing on the colon & rectum and the sensation of the urge to push engages the same muscles. Pushing during delivery can push out a little poop too, but medical teams understand that. It's just so embarrassing & worrisome to think you're about to blast a dump & certainly don't mean to do that in bed! Perfectly normal reaction.

[@nattamused9074]

Conversely, I can share my story of the absolutely negligent way the hospital treated my first newborn baby and I, because I was a new mom and they would not listen to me. My baby had developed a very sudden and acute case of Noro Virus. I came down with it at the same time, and it was awful. Even though I was sick, vomiting and having diarrhea, I took my baby to the ER, because I knew she needed immediate help. They wasted HOURS ignoring us in waiting rooms, and whenever we did get to see a Dr. or nurse, they would condescendingly tell me that “babies spit up all the time”, and “babies bowel movements are always runny”, and basically brush me off as a new mom who was panicking over nothing. My baby was in absolute agony, and was deteriorating quickly. I kept trying to nurse her even though we were both so sick, but the hospital was no help at all. When they FINALLY realized how badly dehydrated she was, they couldn’t get an IV into any of her veins because they were shutting down. It took forever, and many nurses before they finally got an IV in, and were able to begin treating her. After they finally began treating her, she wasn’t out of the woods. For close to one whole day, it looked like she might not survive. She could have died, simply because the Dr.s and nurses wouldn’t listen to me because I was a new mom. That year, quite a few babies died of the Noro Virus, and I wonder how many of them were brushed off at the ER.

[@emilyladd1093]

You got me with “pointless” 😂

[@theresas740]

We had an abandoned boy once. We pulled all the other Nursing Stations for suggestions. By numbers he would have been Michael, BUT Second floor Surgical actually came to the Nursery window (this was like 1995 L&D was still laid out like that) to look at him first. Since they made the most effort, God bless Daniel, wherever you are!

[@aprilblankenship5496]

I was 4 min away from having Elevator wheelchair baby. Got to room took off bottoms BOOM baby boy.

[@mokrn]

And this, my friend, is why I was a critical care nurse and not one in L&D. However, my first job had CCU in the same wing as L&D (yes, I know. What a stupid arrangement.) so we often heard some odd things. Like the woman who screamed "It better not be a boy! I want a girl named Bubbles!" Unfortunately for the child, she got her wish.

[@SilverAuntie]

Why do people insist on giving their children names that are better suited for a stripper? Bubbles?!? C'mon! Or, they stick their babies with names that are just embarrassing. I worked in Admitting in a hospital down south. A young teen came into L&D, and had a sweet little girl. She liked what the nurses "named" her, so her birth certificate read, "Female", pronounced Fem-AH-lee!😂

[@kris5992]

@SilverAuntie Holy cow! I think my mom was her PE teacher. She told me this story multiple times.

[@SilverAuntie]

@@kris5992 Florida?

[@patrogers8015]

When my son was young his friend thought babies came out of the bellybutton. When I told him where babies actually came from I got a 'talking' to by his mom. When I told her when her son gets older & he has sex with a woman & he gets her pregnant & he says I didn't do her bellybutton. Where that 'babies come out of the bellybutton' comes from I have no idea but it is misinforming as to where babies actually come from.

[@rosella5358]

@patrogers8015 Fr. Her son will get to the point where he has sex faster than she thinks he will. Teach them young and you won't be raising your grandchildren before the kids move out.

[@sharielane]

Reminds me of the time when I was in primary school I had to comfort a girl a couple of years younger than me (she would have been 8 or 9) who I found crying in the girls toilet. She was beside herself because she kissed a boy during lunch break and believed that she was now pregnant and that her mum was going to throw her out of home. I had to explain to her why she couldn't possibly be pregnant, and I did so by telling how babies were truly made. I never saw her again so I don't know how her mother took it, If she even told her mother.

[@juliet3813]

When my uncle as a kid asked my grandmother where babies come from, she told him the truth (being farm folk she wasn’t squeamish) his reaction was of total outrage saying “ You expect me to believe that?!”

[@lilyplil1767]

When I was in fifth grade, a sixth grade boy tried telling the whole lunch table that a man used the belly button to get a woman pregnant and then that's also where the babies came out. It just gets passed around the school yard I think.

[@patrogers8015]

@@lilyplil1767 ....I think some parents tell/misinform their kids to sugarcoat/protect them from reality. But if a parent isn't truthful with their kids who is to say later on when the kids find out the truth they won't be truthful with their parents. Parents are suppose to set an example by being the example.

[@christinebuckley7822]

My mom told be I bit her once while breast feeding. She instinctively slapped my face. She said I gave her a shocked, surprised look before we both started crying. Yes, I am the oldest.

[@lorrie2878]

Me too. Poor little man.

[@Picklescape]

This was not the video to watch while breastfeeding my baby! 😂

[@lorrie2878]

Due to shaking baby from laughing?

[@13DreamRiders]

​@@lorrie2878 do to the story of baby biting mom's nipple off while breastfeeding 😅😂

[@laurabailey1054]

A friend of mine’s last baby delivered by a police officer because the ambulance took too long.

[@parading_panda1210]

I watched my 3rd birth, thought why not, since it's my last... but seeing that mangled mess I had going on down there, shocked me and in my shock at seeing my son's head emerging I told my husband "Look, there's the sperm you left in there." I still think about how bizarre that sounded.

[@CLVELES]

Not an ER story but a an overly-cautious new mom story. My son wasn’t even 18 months old. I was a single mom who worked and daycares that take children that young were scarce at that time. I’m pretty distrustful of people at the best of times so one day when I picked him up and once we were home I noticed a massive purple bruise under his chin. I immediately headed to the nearest walk-in clinic. My son didn’t seem too fussed by anything and played with the toys while we waited. In the meantime I’m trying to figure out how to rip the daycare owner a new one without being offensive. Anyway, finally got to see the doctor who took one look at the bruise, one look at me, and got the light out to have a second clearer look. She looked at me again and said, “I dunno ma’am, it looks like purple felt pen to me” and proceeds to wipe it off with a wet cloth. Talk about feeling like a complete moron. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@REYANNWALTON]

I was 34 weeks pg with my twin boys. Had a regular doctor appointment that day. Told the doctor I was leaking fluid for the last few days. He said no way, too early, but he took a look. He told me do not move, you are fully dilated, and the bag of fluid was poking out. As they are wheeling me over to L and D the nurses were frantic, telling me not to push. I responded that I felt no need to push. After my C--section, (baby B was breach) the doctor told me I could have had baby A in bed the night before. The closest my contractions got were 7 minutes apart while I was driving to the doctor's office. I'd had Braxton hick contractions throughout the pregnancy, so I kept waiting for the contractions to get worse and they never did.

[@22Purplemist]

What does "baby B was violated", mean?

[@REYANNWALTON]

@@22Purplemist No where is it written "baby B was violated". Please re-read, it says baby B was breach. If you do not know what the word breach means, you can goggle it.

[@22Purplemist]

@@REYANNWALTON _ It does now you've edited. I know what breech means and how to spell it correctly

[@REYANNWALTON]

@@22Purplemist The post was never edited. It always said breach or breech. I stand corrected. I was not good at spelling.

[@jayschoenhaaar5369]

When I did my OB rotation as a nurse practitioner I had a father pass out. And the mother went ballistic on both myself and the L&D nurses, because he fainted.

[@poochiew.9302]

Reminds me of my first brother in law. He hit his head on one of those swinging overhead lights. 🤣

[@Dayholly86]

My dad fainted with my older brother. Distracted the heck outta Mom's nurses and doctor!

[@ghettomomma719]

when I was little we had a cat that went into labor and started just attacking everyone in the house- screaming- flinging- clawing- biting. I just assume the husband went through it with their first kid.

[@RoynonBabies]

Bro you are so funny. The one where the baby bitt off the nipple and swallowed it had me laughing out loud, while I'm holding my 10-month-old and she's trying to go to sleep😂

[@Chellex93]

3:06 and at this moment, formula sales skyrocketed 😂

[@Shopgirl1]

My hubby thought the same about the belly button when we married at 18…both virgins, I had to show him where baby’s come from😂

[@AubreyÆsohn]

"also, if i have trouble pooping, does that mean that i could be pregnant?" Actually, when I had trouble pooping, and serious incontinence, it turned out to be a tumor on my right ovary the size of a nearly fully grown fetus. So, got that c-sectioned. 😅😅 I keep a color photo of it on my bedroom wall. Lol I'm sterile now, never having kids, so that was my one and only.

[@nythala]

In Germany babies are not allowed to leave the hospital after birth until a name has officially been registered with the state...otherwise some negligent parents might just never name their children or name them something inappropriate

[@pamowen3452]

We had a fob that had 3 babies being born the same shift!

[@monkeynumbernine]

I left the hospital without a name (my parents knew what they were going to name me 😅), and 27 years later I had an emergency and went to that hospital for emergency service and I was still in the system: baby girl last name dob 🙄

[@jchelseaw8418]

When my mom was pregnant with twins, apparently at 36 and a half weeks with a combined 14lbs of baby in you, you're basically always in miserable pain, because she thought she just was extra sore when she went to bed. Got up in the morning and she felt even worse, kinda worried she had pinched a nerve or something. Figured she might call the doctor's office to see if they could see her after she dropped me off at school. She started to worry she might be going into labor, so she went to the hospital since her doctor was out of town. Yeaaaaaah she was fully dilated and was the bottom twin not breech she would have delivered probably in the car on the way to the hospital. Had to put her under general anesthesia and do an emergency c-section because there was no time for the epidural so she could be conscious during the delivery.

[@REYANNWALTON]

Almost the same as myself and my twins at 34 weeks. Baby B was breach, so yep had the c-section and was told I could have had baby A in bed the night before. I got a spinal for the c-section.

[@jchelseaw8418]

@REYANNWALTON They planned a regular C-section with spinal for them, but there was no time with them lol.

[@judithL3100]

Car baby could be named “ Otto”

[@celticphoenix2579]

Or Henry if they drove a Ford

[@juliet3813]

What a difference accents make. I didn’t understand you quip till I ran through a few accents. Otto, auto. Clever

[@aubriof8]

3:45 we named our daughter within hours of her being born, but somehow her records never got updated and 2 years later when she was doing some PT at the same hospital that's what she was still in their system as. I had to go through stupid hoops to get it fixed.

[@kelliesaunders4905]

I had all of mine natural but honestly, it feels like you have to take a dump. Just push it all out! Baby, poop, anything… push it out.

[@lynnoorman2144]

Lucky you! 37 hours of labour with my first.

[@melodyfike7616]

My fourth baby was that close to being born in the car right outside the hospital. They brought everything out. Her head was literally crowning. They ended up getting me in the wheelchair and took me to the first room inside. Had just enough time to drop my pants and get in the bed and out she came!

[@melodyfike7616]

My husband missed it because he was parking the car lol

[@emily-rb5dk]

I was terrified to breastfeed my daughter for months. She was in nicu and couldnt eat by mouth for 3 months. She could have a paci though. She was so violent with that paci. Even the nurses thought she may try to eat me! She actually nursed quite well and it only hurt if the latch was wrong. She ended up prefering bottles though. She was also called "baby girl" for a while on paperwork. They had transferred her from a different hospital to the nicu and the name didnt get transferred until we go there much later in the day. It got mixed up again a few months later when their log in book showed the wrong name again. That was a fun conversation at 9pm and im deep into ppd/ppa. 😅😅

[@MsSavagechef]

The baby was nursing and bit off her nipple? How old was he--fifty? Was his name Hannibal?

[@steveioe]

lol good one!!

[@rosella5358]

@@MsSavagechef When the teeth come in, it's time to switch to the bottle... or risk losing nipples.

[@SilverAuntie]

My thought, as well! The child had to have teeth in order to bite down. Some mothers think that is natural, and let their children nurse way past the normal age. My sister had twins and one day, while a friend was over with her kids, Sis was nursing one of her boys. The other lady's 6-yr old son came into the room and, seeing Sis, asked if he could have some, too. Sis kept her cool, and explained that that wasn't a good idea, and that her milk was meant for her babies. That little boy just looked at her and said, "Why not? Mommy let's me, all the time!"

[@rosella5358]

@@SilverAuntie It ties in to not accepting that the baby stage is over. If the teeth are coming in, it's time to switch to a bottle.

[@PhoenixofEru]

​@@SilverAuntie Six years is definitely a long time to nurse. But six months sounds reasonable to me, and that's not an unusual age for teething. Some start as early as three months. As a mostly unrelated side note, my mom stopped breastfeeding me the second time I bit her...

[@ellenwilliams9938]

The sad thing is that some of those crazy mothers probably ended up in my courtroom as defendants in CINA cases. I could probably keep up with your stories with a different twist. I use to tend to laugh because otherwise I’d cry.

[@jenniferhart559]

Went in to deliver my 1st / only baby, intending natural delivery. For background, I was overdue, and 4cm dilated already at the last couple of weekly checkups... but labor just never started. So, we went in for planned induction via breaking the water. That was fine (baby vitals were stable), so we were left alone for labor. A few hours go by with no one checking on me, and it's pretty bad pain. I don't know if I can endure unknown numbers of hours with that pain, so request an epidural. They check me, and say, "too late for the epi, you can start pushing!" Had baby 1/2 hour later; it still hurt like a mufkr, but the pain was much less, and bearable once allowed to push. Maybe it could've been that way for that combative lady too if she'd "go with it" instead of flipping out 😨

[@willowthewisperer]

😂 "my pain levels weren't that bad and my labor was short, so duh, everyone can do it that way." Wow... you don't talk to other women, do you?

[@jenniferhart559]

@@willowthewisperer The adrenaline and cortisol dump during a rage fit makes pain feel worse. There are muscular and venous injectable medication options the staff could have given if they weren't being attacked, to help ease her pain. But sure, let us keep perpetuating the trope of the violent screaming bish we're fed via TV and movies 😒

[@alexacarrillo4339]

The Dr told us at 3 pm my week late son was many hours always from delivering so when my dad showed up with my daughter to say hi just as the Dr was doing a last check that turned into a baby being born now 2 hrs later it was awkward. My 18 month old almost saw her brother be born. The kid chose the most awkward time ever to be born after not bothering to show up when he was supposed to.

[@monorail4252]

The belly button is. Like the turkey timer. When its done it goes from innie to outie.

[@luckycharm69x]

😂😂😂

[@nickislade5533]

🤣🤣🤣

[@13DreamRiders]

Mine never with any of my 4. In fact I was able to wear my bellyring still throughout all pregnancies start to finish

[@crystalr2513]

After having my emergency C-section I asked them if my baby was still a girl 😂. My friend had been told her entire pregnancy she was having a girl and the baby was born a boy. They said yes and shes a doll.

[@GreenHeet]

I heard that joke about the spermicidal foam tasting bad over 30 years ago!😅

[@chelleyroberts]

I remember my mother discussing birth control with me as a teen. When it came to foam, she said the doctor had told her that they”packed a baby in every can”. So…not her top recommendation

[@Mandalynn_Bay]

I would but you are never in StL. This violence in nursing is why I left. I am done being abused by pissed off patients. After 20yrs fk dat shit.

[@vermontvoice13]

Sorry you had to deal with that. From what I see in videos and have read lately also a lot of teachers are leaving out of that field too due to the kids just being uncontrollable little monsters these days. Teaching salary is already pitiful then factor in way more hassle from kids too nahhhh

[@carolbelyeu-Alhaddad]

This is my wake up video with coffee. Thank you as I am cracking the hell up!! 😂❤

[@elliottmcleandeboer]

"The truth is even worse"? Idk, I think I'd find it pretty horrifying to both feel and watch my belly button slowly expand and a baby's head forcing itself out. What if it comes out facing you?? What if it's stillborn? Terrifying

[@ladyj9330]

Shades of ALIENS! See a tent rise up in your belly. The flesh parts and out pops your baby!!

[@electroracc5225]

I'm taking tramadol right now for a gnarly hip injury. And I gotta say, pregnancy was NOT listed as a side-effect when I researched the drug before starting it. Tho tbf, I took a shit the other night that felt like I was birthing an orca, so.. I can kinda see where she's coming from.

[@AreYouSerious817]

With my last I asked for an epidural when I arrived, already pretty far in labor, I couldn’t get one right away because the anastesiololgist was in surgery for c section. They came in what seemed like an hour or two later and by then my contractions were pretty close together, I yelled at them that they weren’t touching me now with them so close together, so instead they gave me some weak ass medicine that didn’t take effect u til AFTER! She was born (that’s how close to having her I was).

[@rayarsenault4774]

Here, until the baby's birth registration is processed, they are known as '[mother's last name] NBM/NBF' (depending on agab)

[@p1gg3r]

My birth was incredibly long and difficult. At one point, my mom kicked out and hit a nurse...my mom recalled that she felt bad because she said the nurse "hit the wall and slid down". My mom apologized immediately but idk how the nurse responded lol.

[@RachelAmmons]

17 year old pregnant *child*, you mean.

[@J.Robison]

I know a nurse whose job was to visit new (teenage) moms at home to make sure all was well. She asked one if she'd chosen a name for the baby and she replied that she liked the name Vagina. The nurse tactfully told her the meaning of the word....

[@myredpencil]

🤣🤣

[@courtshort219]

Not gonna lie, contractions sorta do feel like the intestinal cramps like if you get with food poisoning (like needing to poo now intense cramps!) but you not pooping.... I had food poisoning about 7 and 1/2 months postpartum. In my brain its the closest comparison I have to explain the contraction

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

My ex was working in the hospital (not in the US) when a very young first time new parent couple walked in and were in distress. Their baby was three days old, and apparently hadn't eaten anything! "We tried to give her chips (french fries), good ones from the chippy and she just won't eat em will she? She's got something wrong, innit?" The parents were pulled aside and give some one on one tuition on being parents. They are given books after birth... but they weren't the reading sort and never bothered to attend any anti-natal classes. Baby was fine, she had been "drinking" formula!

[@nursesophie5254]

"like every one else" you have clearly never tried to catheterise a 650lb woman, near impossible

[@jojog9052]

1:52 Toddler's in Sims 4 when you don't have the right aged bed so they can't get in

[@butternuttree22]

😂😂 currently 34 weeks pregnant with twins watching this .. Laughing so hard i peed a little 😅 God bless these nurses

[@ladyj9330]

My 3rd child, was BORN on her own schedule! (she lives her life on HER schedule and WILL NOT be rushed to this day) Well, she went from 2 inches above the birth canal to her head OUT in about 6 seconds. She was face up. (most babies are born face down) this caused me to feel like I was pooping. I had a lively back and forth with the nurse. Nurse: "It's the baby!" Me: "No...I am pooping!" Nurse: "Nope! It's the baby!" Me: "Im telling you, I am pooping! Nurse: "I know what I am talking about!!" Me: "Only way its the baby, is .... If she is coming out of my BUTT!!" Nurse: "I am looking at her face!!" Me: "OK, You win! It's the baby!!" (Doctor was in the hallway at this point getting his scrubs on!)

[@RobSchellinger]

I was expecting a clip of Prom Night Dumpster Baby from Family Guy.

[@vermontvoice13]

Idk why but that is one of my fav songs from family guy even though it’s sooo wrong lol