r/D&DMemes - Bikini Armor

[@lyllydd]

Yep, our party adopted a kid goblin once. We weren't the ones who killed his family, but they were all dead and we found kiddo goblin crying in a cave. Turns out 8 yr old goblins can be decent fighters. Also having a little kid actually play the goblin was freakin' hilarious. Edit: GM said the goblin kid was equivalent to a human 8 year old. NOT an adult goblin. Still a child.

[@tatiana4050]

Then he grew up and killed all his party, it was a set up.

[@al13n_]

if im not mistaken, some sources describe goblins as being fully mature at age eight! its possible you adopted what is essentially an 18-21 year old lol ^^

[@yankeedoodledan5461]

I remember one party at school adopted a fish folk child and then parties changed so my party adopted the fish folk child then the dms changed and the new dm killed the fishfolk child by making him our first enemy of that campaign

[@ditzyprometheus]

My brother (GM), sister, and I’s party have an NPC goblin (in a different tabletop RPG that is called “DND but harder” by our GM who also plays DND) and I scrambled somebody’s brain with a lance (as a rogue elf, pretty sure I hit him in the eye and got a 20) for insulting the NPC (we got in a fight with the person’s group, so we took it outside and killed people-) 😎

[@coruscaregames]

I'm the DM for a party that adopted a goblin, they learned prestidigitation from the party's evocation wizard and she adopted him to the dismay of the druid

[@calebleach7988]

another fun crazy idea, Kraken nuke: Get a bunch of casters, find a Kraken, have all the casters cast polymorph, turning the Kraken into a small animal, take that small animal and release it into a city, then get as far away from there as is humanly possible. A few minutes later, an incredibly pissed off Kraken will appear in the middle of a city and start destroying everything

[@PlutoPupp]

Picture this: your walking to work on an early summer morning, suddenly a bard runs past you nearly knocking you over. You curse at him and continue on with your day. As you walk into your workplace a large creature suddenly appears in the middle of the town square . It's a pissed of Kraken, and it's coming right for you.

[@sarahgray430]

Call it Calimari's Revenge!

[@AtrimSpade]

I first read kraken as karen

[@PlutoPupp]

@@AtrimSpade the karen of kraken!

[@TheLuckySpades]

So, Watchmen?

[@VBArtPlace]

In one campaign, the DM did a joke on the guard riddle that went as such Guard 1: Halt, traveler! You must solve our riddle to continue! Guard 2: Oh here we go... Guard 1: ONE of us tells the truth, and the other one only tells LIES Guard 2: Jesus Christ, Daniel, I said I was SORRY

[@GODOFMAYHEM96]

I gotta use that! XD

[@margotchaput3070]

🤣 passive-agressive guards is an amazing twist

[@pineappleperson1239]

Lol

[@AstroEli133]

I don't get it. Is it that Guard 1 is angry at Guard 2 for lying?

[@Smilewearewatching]

@@AstroEli133yep

[@casperthefriendlydragon9324]

Idea: An asexual bard who keeps charming people but just thinks everyone wants to be their friend.

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

I approve of this plan

[@a.u.t.057]

@@Amy_the_Lizard I too approve of this

[@kanashi333]

My brother is planning on making a new campaign, I am going to use your idea :)

[@rocknrogan]

I’m actually playing this character

[@a.u.t.057]

@@rocknrogan how was it

[@fluffymoth87]

My DnD character was a bard named Auggie, but she was asexual, and she would seduce people and get them to buy her food then disappear. My party called her "The Hungry Bard"

[@Ashtheredfox]

This is amazing. May I use this idea for my next character?

[@midnight4685]

@@Ashtheredfox Inspiration, especially in DnD, is a compliment, so I really doubt they'll mind. Even DnD agrees. After all, in this case, it sounds like... it sounds like you got... ...bardic inspiration

[@NekoMaster00]

I mean, if your bard wasn't asexual she would probably still be "The *Hungry* Bard" lol

[@chriserwin7823]

​@@NekoMaster00no she'd be a thirsty bard.

[@CraftingMenace]

One of my favorite things I did in my first campaign was I set up a classic Nurse Joy joke; every tavern was run by Tobias the barkeep, and every time he would die. Near the end of the campaign, I revealed he was actually an underling of a God, given limitless cloning capabilities. Each one had 1 HP, and was watching the party as they went on their quest.

[@SweetyMelody99]

Cool

[@annikahstebben4425]

Our DM only has one tavern map, so he just periodically rotates it and comments on how every tavern was built off of the designs of James Tavern, master tavern builder. (We should have realize that they all have the same hidden passageway far sooner)

[@MiotaLee]

my dm always has the tavern we stay at named the prancing [blank] and the shops we go to always sells what we're looking for plus totally random unrelated stuff. like tents and butterscotch

[@PK-Radio]

My dad was a D&D player He’s a doctor now So don’t worry not all D&D players are basement dwellers

[@eugurai]

Thank goodness

[@RiveroftheWither]

You know Vin Diesel plays right?

[@PK-Radio]

@@RiveroftheWither like I said, not all D&D players are basement dwellers

[@iknorn9494]

My math teacher plays dnd because of him half of the class got into dnd me including

[@andrewcross5918]

I believe dr Frankenstein worked in a basement.

[@SamiTheAnxiousBean]

"he cannot charm but also cannot be charmed because his social skills are so bad that he doesn't realize they're flirting with him" *Are you talking about your Dnd character or me?*

[@Jaxxy35]

I also feel attacked by this description.

[@vodam6970]

Basically all asexuals

[@siredionysus]

@@vodam6970 No no, asexuals can still pick up on flirting

[@vodam6970]

@@siredionysus true, it depends on the person, but i just cant, and neither can my gf, while were both asexual, so thats 2/3 of the asexuals i know who cant recognize flirting

[@a_d3mon]

yes

[@renatoramos8834]

On my first campaign, the DM made us a puzzle where we had to find a way to cross a corridor full of retracting spikes on the floor. I sugested filling a bag of holding with poison water from another room and pour it on the spikes to maybe wreck their mechanism. The DM said "Wait, you want to make the spikes poisonous, on top of piercing?"

[@sootcoot8712]

We struggled to get out of a trapped dungeon, since none knew how to open a thick wooden door i set it to fire. Now the only exit is a burning inferno. It worked, but we all took a bunch of damage.

[@jokerofspades-xt3bs]

One time while playing with some friends we encountered a puzzle and it went like this. dm: "you walk into a long hallway with arrows flying from the walls, the ceiling is made out of glass in this hallway and the walls are to slick to hold onto" barbarian: "I throw a rock at the ceiling" dm: "wait you want to smash the glass roof?" barbarian: "yes" dm *sigh* "you smash the glass ceiling and shards of glass cover the hallway, you now must cross this arrow shooting hallway while walking on broken glass"

[@squarepris1m203]

11:58 dude i did this once, basically at the end of the campaign, they were what i can only describe as murder hobos to the greatest extent, they went to "heaven" to murder the god that rules over all other gods, when they got there however everyone they had ever wrong but didnt deserve it was there and extremely pissed

[@cringejuicedavidson8288]

"One of us always tells the truth" "And the other always tells the truth"

[@BloodyBay]

That's why it's always the one guy who tells the riddle...either that or it's written on a sign or inscribed into a wall or a door or whatever. ;-) (And since the liar would say "Both of us lie" or "Neither of us lie," he could _really_ screw the adventurers over if he's the one who gets to deliver the riddle, eh?)

[@themisfitowl2595]

I never did think that riddle was that hard. Couldn't you just ask something like "What color is the sky?" Guy 1. Blue Guy 2. Green Bingo.

[@thenonkiller2999]

@@themisfitowl2595 guy 1: blue Guy 2: it reflects the color of the ocean.

[@lillianward2810]

I was just thinking this!

[@orbracha25]

@@themisfitowl2595 in most versions of this riddle, you only get to ask one question so your solution is just a waste

[@honeybunnyhanni1931]

Funniest thing that ever happened to my party (before I joined the party): The group encountered a really high level troll who was too powerful for them to take out, which they realized after starting the fight. They decided they wanted to run away, but one of them had an ability that prevented him from running away until the enemy is defeated. Due to this ability he had an awesome willpower which made him able to continue to fight no matter how low his hp got. So while the rest of the party fled from the troll he was standing there keeping the troll in the fight in a Gandalf like "You shall not pass" manner. He singlehandedly took out the troll but at the end of the fight his hp were like -80/18. The DM described it like he turned into bloody goo after he took a last victorious exhale right after landing the final blow. Even if our healers would have been there they wouldn't have any chance at resurrecting/healing him

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

So basically that one Final Fantasy 5 scene, but more gory?

[@honeybunnyhanni1931]

@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 I never played Final Fantasy so I don't know

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

@@honeybunnyhanni1931 There's a scene in Final Fantasy 5 when the Big Bad had incapacitated all your team except one. So they have to stop the ennemy alone. During the battle, your HP quickly drop to zero, but you keep fighting until you can push them back. You can't lose the battle, but understandably, the characters don't survive the battle. FF4 has a similar battle but the character expand all their MP instead of HP, which is also an interesting concept.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 Haven’t played Final Fantasy, but your description reminds me of the battle against Undyne in Undertale.

[@Nostripe361]

Hearing your troll encounter reminds me of our game where we were in a home brew world where no one knew about trolls but Planar travel is a major component of our game so while heading to a portal our group ran into one. It was a weird battle.

[@novelkarslol5296]

I remember playing this one dnd game where I was a Dragonborn. Close to the beginning, I went on a murder spree and covered myself in blood. On the same night, I did that I and my party were trying to sneak into a place while I was still covered in blood. We were in the middle of a dark alley when three teenagers found us and asked us what we were doing. I turned around (still covered in blood) and said "move on", I rolled for intimidation and landed a solid 20. I scared them so much that one of them audibly shit himself out of fear. It's sate to say Dragonborns covered in blood is the scariest shit ever. Edit: then I ate a dude like an hour later cause he said I was acting " suspect"

[@WinterPains]

Chaotic Evil for the win.

[@ThatOneWeirdFlex]

Sus

[@pastelfrogs9395]

Wow 🤩

[@sootcoot8712]

I need you to roll on the insanity table!

[@Saeryfim]

I love the thought of that Barbarian murdering the guard and asking the other if he's dead. Because every adventurer party after that will walk in and just automatically be like "What the hell happened to that guy?". But then the other guard just gets to lie to their face immediately about how he died, lol.

[@liamnehren1054]

fun fact: chain whips are a Chinese whip made out of metal which have a blade at the end. They were considered pretty lethal with uses ranging from deflecting blows to slicing throats with the tip which could also be poisoned to make and hit lethal. The weapon also had some weight so "bash damage" was certainly part of the overall use.

[@HajudinStar]

Oh Man I haven't played dnd in a while, this is gonna bring memories

[@gayclown69]

Same

[@insomnicat.dragon]

Yep

[@zemorph42]

Nearly 20 years for me. I miss it.

[@darkarmour8971]

Can’t spell memories without memes

[@jean-pierrepolnareff2437]

Hell yeah dude

[@calebleach7988]

good *sir* Aragorn is a RANGER. He knows all about nature, he has knowledge of his chosen enemies (orcs and Nazgul) He has limited knowledge of magic, he can easily track creatures. And, not to mention he's part of a group that is literally called "The rangers"

[@sarahgray430]

Exactly...he is in fact the original Ranger from whom the class of Ranger in D&D is derived (the Lone Ranger and Walker, Texas Ranger don't really fit into a fantasy setting...though I can imagine that you could adapt D&D to a Old West setting too) and centuries ago, one of his ancestors was an Elf so he's not entirely human.

[@abiorionson5892]

In addition, Luke also isn’t a fighter but an Magic Trickster (rouge) / monk dual-class, since Jedi’s (at least in the movies) are agile, are able to use “magic” tricks, prefer solutions that don’t include fighting and either wear light or no armor.

[@ladykoiwolfe]

True, but he is of the race of Men. The Blood of Numenor runs in his veins. Okay, yeah, he's definitely a special sort of man.

[@sigmascrub]

But he can't actually cast spells himself. That makes him a fighter with proficiency in nature, survival, and arcana.

[@alchemysaga3745]

@@sigmascrub Ehhh. Isn't there that one plant that only has restorative properties in his hands?

[@elijahramirez2017]

Becoming a DM after playing chaotic neutral as a player for years has big "you'll find out when you have kids" energy

[@razorwhipqueen8972]

Centaur Insect thing: Technically, no. Insects usually boast some form of exoskeleton. A Centaur in full battle armour, however? Yes, that is an insect.

[@DemonNo667]

Napoleon as a Centaur would obviously be called "Naponyon". He'd be a Shetland pony Centaur.

[@alexlong1328]

Funny Story: My first ever D&D character was this Hulking Half-Orc Cleric. My first ever roll was an athletics check to jump from one ship to another. I rolled a Nat 1. My DM was kind and I Swan Dived onto the other ship, crushing a goblin pirate. Lol

[@dominiklehn2866]

My first ever roll in a new campaign, only the second i ever played was a Nat 20... Unfortunately, it was investigation and there really wasn't much to see in the prison cell with the guard that was currently setting us free

[@rolfs2165]

​@@dominiklehn2866Lol, I played a Numenera campaign with friends where I had Investigate (or whatever it was called) as specialised(!) skill - and I botched every single roll the DM asked me to make. My character was excellent at investigating stuff, but apparently completely inattentive (and I only now realise I should have leant harder into that angle).

[@nikkiofthevalley]

​@@dominiklehn2866If it were me as a DM, I would've said something like "You inspected the prison cell so hard, that the guard imploded."

[@EmperorHoldar]

If the villain is giving to an orphanage like in the theoretical scenario, they'd be Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral. My party would scold them into becoming Robin Hoods and have to kill our paladin. But that's par for the course with DnD paladins

[@ProfessorH]

You could possibly make it so that the villain was lawful evil. The orphanage being part of some deal that benefited them greatly but required that duty. perhaps a servant of a devil who had traded something for the promise of protection.

[@chrislanglois8275]

actually in the video it was about if the quest was a plot by the orphanage to kill many henchmen and their boss creating many fatherless children where the widows ofc can barely afford surviving themselves let alone the kid.

[@wordforger]

I had a lawful evil character start an orphanage in order to indoctrinate the children of the rebels into the lawful evil religion and slavish loyalty to the lawful evil empire. So... You can, in fact, both be evil AND donate to orphanages...

[@Kagome245love]

I love how at 15:11 I can't tell if Click did the Hooty voice near-perfectly intentionally or if it was just a lucky coincidence.

[@vpuppyshadow9293]

Why did you point it out? I C A N T U N H E A R I T

[@JÆuroriz]

@@vpuppyshadow9293how did you not hear it

[@insanerikki]

The naughty dice reminds me of a D&D campaign that I watched the start of in college, and it literally ended with me walking out laughing so hard because the group never made it past the dungeon they had literally seduced the guards and turned into a sex dungeon party...XD

[@maurovandersmissen504]

13:47 you can place it literally everywhere and it still makes complete sense in every meaning of the sentence

[@shadowhenge7118]

Noone will ever convince me that the "cursed" item Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity wasn't put into D+D specifically for us transfolk.

[@bleddynwolf8463]

they probably had a trans dev who snuck it in to do us a solid

[@Ceracio]

As a DM, I had never heard of this item before. Thank you kind person. I now have a new item to piss off the mildly-homophobic fighter with. I feel like I should probably add that the character is homophobic one, not the player.

[@Gashako]

I found out about this item when playing the original Baldurs Gate. I went about 3 hours before realising my guy had boobs.

[@SiffrinISAT]

@@Ceracio I have a friend (bi and non-binary) that has a SUPER homophobic, classists and outright asshole character. I would love for her to have this

[@faylinnmystiquerose2224]

@@Gashako I liked to give it to Xzar in Baldur's Gate XD have used it for my own character a few times, but it does cause some weird animation glitches on the character wearing it, at least in the remastered version. x.x

[@darkshado124]

My crew had a "No Peasant Railgun" rule made when I, the Bard, convinced a small town to do this at the final boss that was a homebrew Planet-sized Void Dragon capable of destroying entire solar systems with little-to-no difficulty. The Dragon named Voidrania made her entrance into the universe at this town because of evil wizard shenanigans, so she wasn't fully powered yet but could still one-shot a continent. Yeah...poor DM. Months of build-up for the final boss of the campaign only to get nuked via a line of peasants passing a magically enchanted spear (lol nat20 rolls) at the dragon born from conceptual non-existence crawling out the rift opened up to the infinite void. Pffttt hahahaha!

[@charliekahn4205]

There ought to be a speed limit for passing.

[@bdp4]

Passing it doesn't increase damage, the last peasant would just make a normal spear attack, likely not even hitting due to low stats.

[@darkshado124]

@@bdp4 You clearly don't understand the concept. Each peasant, when they pass the spear, gradually accumulates speed per pass base on their stats, plus the amount of strength used per pass also stacks. Sure, the final dude will only do his/her base damage spear throw, plus the thousands of SPD+STR points worth of accumulation. That's how a Peasant Railgun works. Various rule books make it possible. XD

[@nachouso]

@@darkshado124 your DM just wanted to allow it. There are many reasons to not allow it, it's impossible that they were perfectly aligned and be of the same height, the DM could've required multiple rolls as it's not as single action, the rules doesn't explain how to translate real energy calculations to damage, if we allow considering momentum the front peasants will have their hands blown off and finally ready actions never worked that way, you choose the trigger and when it happens you do your action on your turn so the ready action of the next in line is not valid or it'll happen next turn.

[@legianahavilliard9605]

@@nachouso C’mon! Just let us have fun. Please?

[@dustfoxy7455]

"I bet all of you were sitting at home thinking it's gonna be the dungeon of the furry" he says, when just a moment ago he compared a dragon hoarding an sd card to a protogen, something that even I as a furry for 3 years didn't correlate

[@WinterPains]

Its funny, but I still don't get it.

[@abigailbaldwin4224]

In one campaign, the party barbarian killed and skinned a bear. We then found the bear's cub. My character, the sorcerer, decided to adopt said bear. Got back to town and they wouldn't let in a wild animal. With a mix of bullying and good rolls, I convinced them it was a trained circuis bear and got it into the city.

[@LocalMaple]

19:40 Great Weapon Fighting: reroll your 1s and 2s. Flame Tongue Greatsword: 2d6 Slashing + 2d6 Fire. Also, about the 0 00 roll: either 00 or 100. I see tables that use 1-100. And I’ve heard of 99 Crit and 0 Critfail.

[@gerardmontgomery280]

The Henchmen thing is a bit like Austin Powers where one gets chucked into a fire pit . I'm not dead, just really badly injured. I'm actually in quite a lot of pain.

[@erikvale3194]

More like the one he runs over with a steam roller. Then cut to his wife getting the news.

[@MahsaKaerra]

13:32 "She told the paladin that she kills goblins." ONLY she told the paladin that she kills goblins. It is assumed that other people told the paladin, but they didn't. She ONLY told the paladin that she kills goblins. Someone thought she said something else to the paladin, but she didn't.. She told ONLY the paladin that she kills goblins. She didn't tell anyone else what she did. Everyone else thinks she did another thing. She told the ONLY paladin that she kills goblins. There was supposed to be more than one Paladin? She told the paladin ONLY that she kills goblins. Similar to the second one, but it seems like she is either being accused of something or is withholding information. She told the paladin that ONLY she kills goblins. The paladin killed a goblin and it made her angry, because for some reason nobody else is allowed to do it? She told the paladin that she ONLY kills goblins. That is literally all she ever does. If there aren't goblins to kill then her group participation is zero. She told the paladin that she kills ONLY goblins. In any other combat encounter she is a pacifist. And it doesn't matter what's happening.

[@IchyJo]

Thank you 👍

[@Mady0]

You forgot She told the paladin that she kills goblins ONLY. Which is basically the same as the last one.

[@AnnaMno1]

An alternative for 'She told Only the Paladin that she kills goblins' Is the paladin's name is now Only.

[@airprime5063]

Only she only told only the only paladin only she only kills only goblins only. You're welcome

[@spicysalad3013]

A third of those can be switched with each other and that's the "beauty" of English

[@embertheunusual8036]

I've actually thought about that "may I have your name" trick, and I think the best response that doesn't involve lying would be: "know my name, yes, but you may not *have* it"

[@BlueTressym]

My answer is *introduces self by dead-name and is now finally rid of it forever*

[@Damarain69]

The " I fondle the castle guard?" followed by "It did 6 damage thought." Cracks me up, my side hurts and I can´t barely breath :D

[@lordfelidae4505]

21:07 RAW, yes. However, due to the damage done to the hide in the process of tanning it into leather, I would argue that it no longer resembles the original corpse enough to be viable for resurrection. True resurrection, on the other hand, should work because why wouldn’t it?

[@SPUDog]

13:40 - putting only anywhere in that sentence (including as the first word and as the last word, as in before 'she' or after 'goblins') makes a valid sentence. Most of them with very different meanings. Some of those meanings are pretty funny, too

[@LittleGoblinBoi]

"She told the ONLY Paladin she kills Goblins" is my favourite

[@prjndigo]

Resurrect has a limited time and can't reach back past major events without special extras... however a Wish Ring... We dealt with that by giving the player all the mannerisms of a cow, including just shitting/pissing wherever he stood. If a group of anything ran past he'd herd to it, he loved rubbing against and leaning against things and preferred to sleep under a tree outside. He also refused to take off the armor for any reason. When the armor finally wore out the "curse" ended.

[@McBehrer]

20:50 That's literally the plot of "A Bug's Life." Then again, in true Disney fashion, "A Bug's Life" is just a bug-themed retelling of "The Magnificent Seven." ... Which itself is just a Western-themed version of "The Seven Samurai." As they say, there truly IS nothing new under the sun.

[@Jermbot15]

More like an animated retelling of the 3 Amigos.

[@TeknuAddict]

"A Bugs Life" was made by Pixar, way, waaaay before they merged with Disney.

[@McBehrer]

@@TeknuAddict What, you think they made it on their own? It's animated by Pixar, but it's still a Disney movie

[@jjbarajas5341]

@@McBehrer Pixar was its own studio once upon a time.

[@Mystery-Wolf]

7:47 Dungeon of the snow are in a snow Wow. So cool.

[@theuncalledfor]

Okay, hear me out. A campaign in which the villains' goal is to crash the Feywild into the Shadowfell to create a second material plane as the negative and positive energies cancel each other out. _And the players are the villains._

[@andrewolski5381]

What

[@theuncalledfor]

@@andrewolski5381 Just saying, the Feywild and the Shadowfell are just there, latched onto the material plane like disease-ridden ticks, especially the Feywild, puking up disgusting fey creatures for the rightful inhabitants to deal with and sometimes even abducting people. Really, I was being facetious when I called them the villains. Getting rid of the Feywild is a deed of true heroism.

[@pasta_planet1273]

The last time I played dnd, the most chaotic character was dragged off into the forest by a werewolf and…’hung out’..

[@WinterPains]

Fun

[@superferret6149]

At one point I was playing a dnd campaign and we all tried to design winter clothes for our characters the tailor rolled poorly and my dwarf was wearing a bunny outfit

[@irl_Five]

Bro I remember playing DND w my family and I had the brilliant idea to play DND music while stuff happened (like serious music during fights, and medieval music while in the shop, ect) and I was the bard too so I felt so proud. My brother decided to fight a monster alone and no one wanted to go with him, so I played the most cheerful, silly, DND music to tick him off and mock him. To say nonetheless, he lost because I was distracting. 😌

[@Lowdian]

Ah yes, Inspire Incompetence

[@comradewindowsill4253]

Vicious Mockery

[@AmayaMaka]

20:48 The Three Amigos is the name of the movie that those three men are in, and that the post is actually referencing. I haven't actually watched tropic thunder so I can't make a comparison to be honest. But (in the movie) they really are actors that a town thought were REAL heros and they hired them to get rid of REAL bad guys. It's quite hilarious.

[@Taiga_kai]

14:20 That's a box of worms that we don't want to open.... A box of worms literally ..... A BOX OF WORMS. * gasp at my own geniusness *

[@chubbear9393]

When Click said: "Like a super testosterone person" I was like: My dream, to be a testosterone person

[@kyanshi]

"god knew I would be too powerful if I had an attention span" I'm sitting here cracking up cuz I have ADD and this explains sooooooo much XD

[@Chirrie]

I remember my first DnD character and she was very chaotic, her name was Yadw (pronounced yod). She was a wood elf and a cleric. She wanted to build a car, everyone was very confused because cars did not exist so basically she was just explaining a car and trying to get everyone to help her. BTW the DM said that I needed like a bunch of intelligence to build it so that's why I was trying to convince everyone in the party and the NPC's in town to help. The problem was that her charisma was basically non-existent so it just sounded like this short insane person was trying to get people to help her build a machine that was impossible. She also tried bribing the mayor, it didn't work.

[@user-ft7fq4ou4v]

The joke with putting the word "only" in that sentence is it can be put at the start, end, or between any pair of words, and it would still be a valid sentence

[@genericusername6204]

7:07 Idea: a dragon that is in denial of his size because his hoard consists of nfts and keeps claiming he actually owns them and it totally is just a curse put on him

[@rinnshotin1874]

I think The Hulk would be a Barbarian/Artificer. I mean, he's smart enough to talk shop with Tony half the time, right?

[@hifiteen49]

yeah, he's kinda also a scientist? so he does have the smort

[@fiend-off-the-grid]

13:42 the point is that you can place the word "only" anywhere in the sentence and it changes the meaning. 'Only she told the paladin that she kills goblins' implies that others knew, but refrained from telling the paladin. 'She only' means the paladin is the only one they told, as well as that it was the one thing she did, 'She told only' implies the same but without the one action implication, 'She told the only' implies there is only one paladin in the party, 'She told the Paladin only' implies that was the one thing she had to say to the paladin, with no connotation regarding other actions, 'She told the Paladin that only' forbids the paladin and anyone else in the party except her from killing goblins, 'She told the paladin that she only' implies that goblins are the only foe they would kill, while also implying that such action requires little more consideration than killing a pest, whereas the last two imply a greater consideration, with the stress either being on goblins or only

[@neogray338]

Thank you for clearing this

[@jessi8252]

Ah! So I wasn't completely lost after all

[@dynamicworlds1]

Nailed it. Well done.

[@msNovaSixx]

Or my interpitation she is goblin slayer 2.0

[@lennyfiasco9834]

“Think about that when you try to sleep tonight.” Oh, don’t worry Clicky, I will.

[@CrimKazanawa]

I'm finding this a little late, but 9:40 is actually right out of Chapter 9 of the PHB under "Damage and Healing" - "Hit points represent a combination of physical and mental durability, the will to live, and luck. Creatures with more hit points are more difficult to kill."

[@Sl33py_Bat]

0:12 “sound check, sound check AAGHHHH!!!! Alright looks good” -The Click

[@meg9599]

Okay this’ll be a long one but Click, here’s an explanation on the “She told the Paladin that she kills Goblins” Only she told the paladin that she kills goblins: she is the only person who told him, other people know that she kills goblins but nobody else told the paladin She only told the paladin that she kills goblins: nobody else knows this fact. It is a secret between her and the paladin. She told only the paladin that she kills goblins: pretty much the same as the last sentence, just sounds slightly posher. She told the only paladin that she kills goblins: there is one paladin left in the realm and she told them that she kills goblins She told the paladin only that she kills goblins: again, secret between her and paladin She told the paladin that only she kills goblins: there is nobody else who kills goblins but her She told the paladin that she only kills goblins: her specialty is killing goblins, she won’t kill anything else. There are others who kill goblins, but those people kill other things as well. She told the paladin that she kills only goblins: same as previous with different wording She told the paladin that she kills goblins only: same as previous too but with different wording. Hope this helps! P.S. English is my first language but I am by no means an expert, English is very complex and it confuses me more often than I’d like to admit. So if anyone knows more about the language than I do and has some suggestions on my take on this, please let me know :)

[@robinthrush9672]

"she only kills goblins" can also imply other things can be done to goblins, but she just sticks to killing them. Depends how much you emphasize the "KILL".

[@patricklinford689]

#2 and #5 can be that the extent of the information she has given the paladin is that she kills goblins

[@NPP_1]

"She told the paladin only that she kills goblins" could also mean that this is the only thing she told the paladin.

[@GusMcGuire]

And of course there's: "Only she only told only the only paladin only that only she only kills only goblins only." - and God alone knows what that means but now the I've used the word 'only' so often that it looks weird to me.

[@WinterPains]

She told the Paladin ONLY that she kills goblins. This would actually mean that the only information she gave the paladin is that she kills goblins.

[@dimensionalclones5018]

*you hear dwarven singing* It's been years since I heard this tale, that still is a fun song to sing.

[@B4dr4bbit]

Well my favorite D&D story is when I got to avoid a fight by just shouting, "Look over there!" we then ran like hell

[@IndependentObserver]

20:20 No, that's just what slings were like IRL. There's a reason why, for hundreds of years, every big country/state in the Mediterranean was sending representatives to some random fing islands, thousands of kilometers away on the other side of the Mediterranean, to pay heavy money, to recruit sheep farmers into their armies- because those farmers had a weird 'tradition' of herding their sheep with slings (they'd threw rocks with slings around the sheep to herd them). Which meant they were using The Deadliest Weapon In Existence (at the time) which only drawback was shit accuracy, and they practised with them so long and so often that they basically became snipers. (those Islands being Baleares- Majorca, Minorca, Formentera and Ibiza) A trained slinger was The Deadliest Soldier on the planet, until invention of hand-held gunpowder weapons.

[@nrdkartoflen5836]

in one of my campaigns we met two npc's that now hang out with us. one is a human fighter who is basically dating the bard. the other one is a kobold who has no legs from the knees down. reason? he was trapped in a pit and had to eat them. we got him a wheelchair and some goggles, and he was just racing around while the kobold group we literally relocated was watching in awe

[@TheLimeLines]

Windrose diggy diggy hole is a perfect workout tune, I have also had it in my encouragement playlist for ages!

[@KaboomSoT]

The solution to the peasant rail gun from the DMs perspective is to just force the peasants to make a dex-save to catch it, and the later the save is failed the more people die in the aftermath

[@Nathan_Moor]

I wouldn't agree with that. Since it be a lot of work to create a good and balanced chart for the number of peasants and the damage growth of the passed object , which both inspires the players to use it, but prevents it from being overpowered (which is the entire point of the idea). The dex-save would only be implemented to dissuade players from using the peasant rail gun, at which point the DM should just outright rule that the it doesn't work to begin with.

[@KaboomSoT]

@@Nathan_Moor I meant a solution in case the players overuse it or use it during a moment the DM really doesn’t want them to

[@Nathan_Moor]

@@KaboomSoT Ah, okey.

[@christophedlauer1443]

Aside from just not allowing it because, well - the spear is NOT speeding up from being passed from hand to hand: The jokel who tries that stunt should have to get his peasents in line first - by ordering them. They are not trained, so the player will need to find a way to verbally communicate with his Farmer Brigade. "Steve - get in line, Jeff - more to the left... NO , other Jeff ! You, who are you again? give Mike the spear - no, Mike is over there, thats Mika...." Then the line starts rolling will saves because they saw a terrifying monster... breaking down as soon as one of the Turnip turners reevaluate their chances and heads for the hills. And then the last guy in the line just misses the attack because he is a lvl 1 Farmer trying to hit the vital spot on a Dragon.

[@CS_Mango]

Dm: unfortunately the tip of the spear was made out of fissionable uranium. It just so happened that the peasant failed to throw the spear at the dragon. Instead he hit a lump of natural uranium. The collision caused the two masses going supercritical, resulting in a thermonuclear detonation.

[@giorgitsiklauri840]

15:15 Aragorn is clearly a ranger, the class is literally based off of him.

[@daburudar]

I'm glad I'm not the first to be irked by that.

[@Killerwale-hk4wy]

6:07 We do this, it's actually pretty cool, we've had funny ones, like "I shouldn't have tried to ride that red dragon" to more serious ones like "as I see the cliff's edge furthering away, my vision slightly fades as the flat surface suddendly appears to me as the shores of my hometown, that I left, slowly dissapearing in the distance"

[@Kyrikrliy]

I tried the autocorrect thing: "The Dungeon of the others but I didn't know what happened" So it'll be a dungeon where not even the DM knows what happened... cool 17:21 I've never seen that before, i want one now!

[@KyleCorbeau]

13:38 That's...amazing and horrifying how many times the meaning of the sentence changes depending on where you put the "only" and yet all of them are technically correct (even if some are clunkier than others)

[@petrichor9279]

15:15 the fact that they included Aragorn in the list of human fighters makes me so upset. He's literally the character the ranger class is based on.

[@xezzee]

Not only that but also but also Kenshi is just Monk Way of the Kensei. There are several feats Kenshi does that second wind would help and stunning strike. Berserker just Barbarian Path of the Berserker with magical armor that let's him ignore Exhaustion ;) else he would die. Rest I did not recognize ...

[@ThatOneWeirdFlex]

@@xezzee bottom mid is Guts from Berserk i think.

[@TheOrangeBottleCap]

I kept a single d&d game running for almost 3 years, we only ended when irl stuff screwed me over and a majority if not outright all except 1 person left the group and I had to rebuild it and we've been hobbling to continue the game ever since

[@trazyntheinfinitewarhammer]

I once impaled the FIRST THING I SAW after having my powers stripped from me, with the help of my stealthy rogue friend. The rest of the party did not know what the hell to do; and he was our servant. Our loyal servant. Immediately, I killed him. I mean, I also tried to friendly fire the rogue with bombs.

[@justagirlexisting]

"The Dungeon of the most important thing to be" Well damn that's a philosophical one

[@joannjames7985]

In my homebrew world, I made a whole accent system for race languages based on what I thought fit most. I didn't have Goblins, but my Tieflings were the Spanish-speaking ones. Dragonborn spoke with a Russian accent, Dwarves were more German, Hobbits were Scottish, Elves were French, and Humans were more varied depending on where I had them. I didn't utilize many of the races, (or accents for that matter, that campaign was mostly Dragonborn) but I thought it was a nice continuous touch.

[@betafurret1503]

11:10 imagine you fight the “final foe” and then it’s revealed that they were actually the last thing keeping the world together and now it’s in even more ruin then before, and you have to fight the true villain, the leader of the party.

[@krose6451]

Dang... yes please!

[@coreyshorter8526]

DnD thought, there are weresharks in DND so if it were to transmit its condition to a dog you could get landsharks so there you go click you can have your only little mango companion in your next game. You're welcome.

[@Jayman1clone]

Lycanthropy is a very selective curse. It only affects humanoids.

[@sterthester736]

@@Jayman1clone unless the dm allows it to effect non-humanoids of course. ...that'd open the doors for a lot of chaotic possibilities

[@Jayman1clone]

@@sterthester736 I think the unknowable extent of that chaos is WHY it only affects humanoids lol

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

20:29 I often joke that I am going to require my players to roll a marble for each +1 they are applying to their rolls.

[@That80sGuy1972]

That Man-Bat thing, I have a funny one. When we first read the Polymorph Other spell (1st Ed in the 80s, 70s printing of the book), it said that the spell is permanent until dispelled but if not dispelled over a certain time, the individual irreversibly becomes what they were transformed into in all ways, only resuming their original form upon death. So, my DM wanted a background story for my character... he banned any character that did not have a boring background story. I told him I wanted a human thief with an affinity for bats. He rolled his eyes. I told him that my mother was a barren wizard who wanted children. He rolled his eyes again. So, she killed off a bat infestation in her attack but found the one bat had babies, only one still alive. So, she cast Polymorph Other on the bat baby to make it into a human baby... and that was me. So, she hired a nursemaid and raised me with her help. Outside of her knowledge, the nursemaid was part of the local Thieves' Guild and I picked up on *her* craft. The party thought I was just nuts when I told them that I read in my mother's personal locked diary that I am really a bat, that's why I like bats. Then (10 levels later), I succumbed to my post-combat wounds... and turned into a dead bat. The other players thought insanity was my character's thing, not the fact that he was right. They earned a wish from a BBE Dao and didn't quite word it right to bring me back. I "reincarnated" as somewhat of a werebat.

[@DeathBringerBecky]

I'm trying to search it, but am having trouble finding the answer. How long does it say it takes for the spell to be permanent?

[@Amy_Dunn]

22:13 I played my first campaign as a warlock and gave the bard a help action by casting Thaumaturgy on her lute to amplify it and flavored it as turning it into an electric guitar with a magical invisible amp.

[@darcraven01]

11:03 i had an idea for the party to roll up in a to a town where a necromancer lived who keeps raising the dead townsfolk. they slay the necromancer only to find out he raised the villagers to help with manual labor like tilling fields and harvesting crops because the town was small but had really good soil so provided much food to surrounding towns

[@mastermenthe]

So... Moussilon?

[@charliekahn4205]

My headcanon: Given we're discussing how magical creatures would have their reproductive anatomy arranged, I am guessing we're working off of real-world biology. The only animals with a spinal shape accommodating for a downward-facing and upright torso at once are the praying mantis and certain species of reptile. Given a centaur has more than four limbs, and vertebrates tend not to be very flexible in the number of limbs department, praying mantis makes more sense. But that doesn't matter: all these species lay eggs. Therefore, centaurs lay eggs, have reinforced exoskeletons with vertebra-esque structures, and have no mammary glands.

[@Jayman1clone]

Your headcanon is horrifying.

[@jackalenterprisesofohio]

This is why I like minotaurs better.

[@keviecjl9879]

What caaan I saaay except delete this

[@oldtimegames96]

Waste of big boobas

[@Daelyah]

...still better than whatever TF Fallout centaurs are...!

[@benjaminkingsley-jones7832]

Whips are weak because you’re not using them right. They’re extremely powerful when wielded by a powerful rogue; the bonus damage rogues get each turn balances out the whip’s weaker damage, and it being the only finesse weapon with reach means you can sneak attack while never coming within a 5 foot range (if you’re a bugbear too, you never even need come within a 10 foot range!), thereby being able to kite even more effectively (as cunning action can be used to dash rather than disengage each turn).

[@mifigor1935]

9:37 in starfinder your health is split into hp and stamina. When you take damage it first reduces your stamina which is quite easy to replenish, but taking dmg to hp is harder to heal

[@sad_boi_razor8983]

We had a wholesome session Until we did a personality swap thing and the normally shy saytr beheaded the other saytr Goat mom (stump) is a demon now, and freaya (shy saytr) is even more traumatized

[@Donnerwamp]

8:12 That metal version is amazing, it's by Windrose and the guy in the meme is actually the singer of this band. Well, to be exact, it's a screenshot from the music video to this song. And yes, Windrose are amazing!

[@spl420]

Wait, that's cover? I always assumed it's original.

[@robinthrush9672]

That leather armor question really makes you think given how many magical evil armors are made of humanoid skin, like the one from Baldur's Gate 2.

[@krose6451]

Yep... also I now want to play Baldurs Gate again lol all it takes is bei g reminded it exists

[@evankilpatrick3650]

Basically the placement of the word “only can potentially change the sentences entire meaning. For example if placed at the very beginning “only she told the paladin that she kills goblins” implies she’s in a group of goblin killers but she’s the only one who spoke about it. While “She only told the paladin that she kills goblins” changes the meaning to the only one who knows of her goblin killing antics would be the paladin

[@ashtongiertz8728]

13:20 reminds me of an Irregular Webcomic strip where they tease the GM about not having any figures other than orcs, so he plops a toy allosaurus onto the table "rawr!"

[@Badartist888]

I always say that people should play a human fighter early in their DnD career. It really does help you focus on the character over the class/ race mix.

[@winxclubssuperfan1]

Just a bit of fun information that I remembered due to the video: My dad used to play roleplaying games (probably D&D or something similar) and once played as a barbarian in it that every other character in game wanted to kill due to how horribly bad the barbarian looked due to that my dad put almost everything into strength and the character had negative charisma. In another game he played as a mage who specialised in fire magic and who was terrified of fire especially his own fire magic which is something I always found somewhat amusing. Have a good day/evening everyone.

[@joao2479]

Okay I'm doing this. The dungeon of the mad hatter *Perfection.*

[@rolfs2165]

Imagine: The Dungeon Of The Hat Matter - EVERYTHING IS HATS!

[@thesuperdk513]

An easy solution to the lying guard and truthful guard is asking them if the other is dead. They have to respond in a way that befits the riddle, so they either say yes, in which case that's the lying guard, or no, in which case that's the truthful guard.

[@wyrd_elei]

I held a DnD Party together for 10 years now with consistent and regular Meetings, sometimes even Weekends in Character.

[@keyoha7565]

Man, I wanna play DnD quicker now. I have a session planned but I still wanna play more... I love how our sessions and characters are turning out, it's so fun

[@spicysalad3013]

Same but our dm wants to "challenge" us :T challenge as in he already had us make backup characters and we're all scared of the next session lol

[@keyoha7565]

@@spicysalad3013 lmao good luck, wish for the best

[@spicysalad3013]

@@keyoha7565 thanks lol I'll need it

[@queenoffrance6397]

Oh god, this makes me want to play D&D so badly. Recently, I've been preparing this campaign where the players essentially get stranded in this desert wasteland filled with monsters and all sorts of spooky things.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

Answer for the electric guitar, this was already done in The Unexpectables, an enchanted acoustic guitar, with a dial on it that changes the level of distortion due to a permanent, variable thaumaturgy Enchantment.

[@justarandomcommenterdontmi4485]

so just yesterday i was playing some starfinder which is essentially what happens if you put dnd into space and I vented out five goblins into the inky blackness of space via hacking a door terminal. it's always fun when you shock your G(D)M with your callousness especially when you make the second group of three think they vented out the first two

[@kevindecastro2821]

Love the mention of the Wind Rose version of Diggy Diggy Hole. They're my 2nd favorite Italian metal band.

[@WierdArtistMarcell]

The dungeon of the morning and a pride parade in the afternoon. I'm ready for this campaign.

[@vpuppyshadow9293]

You wake up before dawn (4 a.m.-ish) and can't go back to sleep, and the parade starts at three.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

6:40 Izard Gizzard the Blizzard Wizzard Lizardfolk now names everyone by most prominent attribute, including himself. He is "Scaly" the dwarven paladin is "Round" the wizard is "thin stick" and the rogue is "Edgy"

[@hunty12we12]

2:14 By this standard, chess is now an eldritch being

[@Jayman1clone]

Chess: I am immortal! None are older than me! Snakes and Ladders: Foolishness. You are as an infant next to me

[@battousaicrescent]

8:50 *attaches goblin's hand to the sword hilt, gets badass new sword to boot* .. Maybe I'm unclear on the whole whip thing for dnd, but if you have a cat of ninetails, or any bladed instrument attached to the end, or a whip sword, those are some very quick, yet very vile, kills. Poisoned dart is obvious too, but imagine a small weight at the end.

[@FredZoise]

1:00 you really just gonna burn Topiccy like that? 😱

[@Anty_Praza]

He got a point though.