Thank you for using a spread sheet to identify the base ingredients of sausage! That is a wonderful gift you’ve given us.
@marktoldgardengnome41103 жыл бұрын
I'm a little late to the party, but here's 3 tips....... 1) When you finally achieve your perfect mix of herbs and spices, mix up a batch 5+ times one batch in advance, stored in a sealable jar. That way next batch of sausage no measuring, your ready to go. 2) Always "rest" mixture, covered, over night in the fridge before stuffing or cooking. The flavors will meld and be more intense then when first mixed. Cook a test patty, If more seasoning is needed, you can add it before cooking. 3) ALWAYS keep your meat AND equipment below 40°F. Bacteria rapidly grows between 40°-140°. If it's taking too long to cut, grind, mix, take a break and put everything back in the freezer for 1/2 hour or so. Then continue. No sense getting sick, when eating something so good. Nice experiment just the same. Loved the chart. Great idea.
@wendyme48354 жыл бұрын
Todd, my mum always used to put a piece of dry bread through the mincer when she was finished to push the last of the meat out. Thought you might find that tip useful 🤷🏼♀️
@danshankle4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your MOST excellent video! Your naration was perfect. NO rock Music, NO screaming, NO effort to be CUTE or CLEVER, just good information, WELL presented. You put a lot of effort into your presentation and it shows. Any one, experienced sausage maker or newbie will benefit from your work. One of the BEST presentations I have seen on KZbin! Thank you again for your excellence!!! PS: Your wife is a refreshing addition to the video!
@1870s4 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you enjoyed. I look back on that video and think the quality wasn't all that good. But the underlying content is always what's the most important thing. #cheers
@jeffreyhall41493 жыл бұрын
Maybe no rock music, but he has that killer ZZ Top beard!
@mikem54293 ай бұрын
THANKS for doing the research. I don't think I'd have the patience to review a dozen recipes. Your hard work is really appreciated.
@bettybartlett53814 жыл бұрын
My dad always made our sasauge. He was from the mountains south west Virginia. He had basically your base recipe but his had fennel and a lot of sage. And as far as I can remember it had a high percentage of fat. It was SO good!
@DoctorMangler2 жыл бұрын
I use a lot of fennel in mine and I'm going to start using more sage. I also use it to stuff chickens for roasting so the extra sage should be nice. My store quit making their really good sausage and there's not a single mainstream brand that I like. So I started making it and I think it's well worth the effort.
@rudedog342 жыл бұрын
Your basic recipe is spot on. I would recommend pork shoulder and closer to a 70-30. Always keep your meat and equipment below 40 degrees. I always add fennel or star anise to my breakfast sausage and being from Texas I have a few versions using cumin and/or different chile powders for a southwest flavor.
@talldave10002 жыл бұрын
Genius idea for the sausage. I add MORE crushed red pepper flakes to kick the heat up in mine. I need to follow this channel.
@Daviemes134 жыл бұрын
I was having problems making the perfect rice until I kept looking it up on KZbin and then it happened! Three cups of water and two cups rice. Bring water to a boil and add rice and set on low for 20 minutes and then remove from heat and open lid once and recover and let set for 5 minutes. I was amazed! Now I find your site and WOW! The truly great ones come around only seldom. Yours is GREAT! Three of us have this mini farm and are trying to raise a few pigs and maybe a couple cows to cover our meat from year to year and needed a recipe for sausage and you saved the day. Thank you so much. Yea me also like just the plain mix that tastes like Bob Evans. I'm a diabetic and have problems with some sausage such as Parnell which for some reason helped put me into a coma. Strange experience waking up in the ICU after five days lost in la la land. Well after being out of the hospital for about four months I had some more of that Parnell sausage and this time I didn't eat so much and damned if it almost happened again. Well enough is enough! Now to do some honeybees. After that I'm going to go for a ride in a gyro-copter. Trying to fulfill my bucket list your know? I'll give you a subscribe and like for all the help.
@jeanettekazear Жыл бұрын
I don't know why I waste time looking at other videos. Yours never fails. Thanks for saving me a lot of time. Love your channel.
@cpolisci4 жыл бұрын
Tried the base recipe, very good. Added fennel and even better. Will try other versions soon.
@jimmclaughlin15182 жыл бұрын
Greetings! Love your channel. I tried your ‘original’ sausage recipe and it is dynamite! I finally found the traditional country sausage taste I’ve been looking for. Thanks for your help. Take care and stay safe. Jim Mac
@jilmarychastainclowers67124 жыл бұрын
A man after my own heart - cooks and uses a spreadsheet!!
@doralynwilson17484 жыл бұрын
And cleans up the kitchen - WHAT? Such a lucky lady you are Rachel! Definitely going to try your recipe.
@jimhale66511 ай бұрын
I would like to also express my gratitude to you for putting the spreadsheet together, it sure is a nice bonus.
@powerplayreviews80823 жыл бұрын
Thank you both for giving us some of your time. I make a maple breakfast sausage every now and then and add a little Franks Red Hot sauce.... "Maple Fire"... Don't add too much!
@richardrodriguez27504 ай бұрын
Thank you for your hard work, I was looking for a recipe for making sausage so I'm going to try your Base Recipe.. Thanks again.
@williamwright37353 жыл бұрын
Just picked up 2lbs of sausage from the butcher shop and watched about 5 videos before finding this one. Going to do the base and maple one and the way you went about this process I'm definitely a subscriber now
@wj-s43787 ай бұрын
The sausage was perfect. Every ingredient was on point. Will definitely be making more. They were delicious, and the heat was perfect
@1870s7 ай бұрын
Glad you liked it!!
@Puglover1303 жыл бұрын
This is awesome and I loved the thoroughness in which you tried each type! Lots of work. So I made the base recipe , doubled the paprika, used fennel instead of rosemary, and used a monkfruit sweetener instead of sugar. Incredible flavour and perfect for keto! The flavour was 100% on but the texture was firmer than sausage (far superior) what I don’t like about regular sausage are the what I call “toenails “ basically bits of bone, cartilage, fat .
@horacegardner351611 ай бұрын
Appreciate your effort of keeping the change to just one ingredient. Very helpful and informative.
@connie91985 жыл бұрын
Hi Todd and Rachel, Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this sausage making goodness. I appreciate how you tested and tried the different varieties and love that its made from a pork butt. We (hubby and I ) bought a pork butt, ground it, seasoned it and made patties. Froze them and it was so yummy. We just used the basic recipe of yours and it was awesome. No more store bought sausage for us.. Thanks again.. and yes Rachel so much cheaper and I love crunching the numbers..
@barbaraboswell80867 ай бұрын
never made homemade sausage but live outside the U.S. and craving it as it is not available here. Thank you for doing all the work. Im cooking it tomorrow.....thanks....
@523jbarrett Жыл бұрын
Can't wait to make this next week!! Thanks for sharing!
@flavrt Жыл бұрын
Good job. I'm routinely make breakfast for dozens at church, and I learned a lot useful info here.
@craigborner93525 жыл бұрын
Your experiment with sausage ingredients was exactly what I've been searching for...thanks!!!
@1870s5 жыл бұрын
So glad you found my approach helpful 😆
@bbqbob34554 жыл бұрын
Please thank whomever in your family that is serving thanks for their service.
@1870s4 жыл бұрын
Our son & daughter. Both Navy.
@sharit79703 жыл бұрын
spreadsheet: 1:21 Thanks for doing that! I've been trying to figure out the same thing to make plant based sausage, but you've gone way beyond what my lazy self did. Thanks for sharing!
@jennileecreates4 жыл бұрын
This is the best sausage recipe! I no longer buy sausage at the store. I wait for Butts to go on sale and make this! Thank you for all you do! :)
@jimsgardensandrabbitry4 жыл бұрын
Just bought a Boston Butt and plan on making sausage. Thanks for sharing this. Many blessings.
@NEREIDADELGADO-h7r5 ай бұрын
So glad I found your video. I've been trying to figure out what kind of sausage to make. I do like the Jimmy Dean sausage that's what I'm aiming for.
@captainnibby Жыл бұрын
Used your base, but omitted the ground cayenne (bunch a wusses in my house- the pepper flakes were almost too much, lol) then added the rosemary but only half as much because I used pre-ground. Turned out great!
@debbieritter10967 ай бұрын
I am experimenting with recipes so going to give your a try -thank you😊 One thing I have been adding is a tablespoon of bacon grease/fat for a bit of fat and flavor
@ashlielepek Жыл бұрын
I love the use of the spreadsheet analysis. If you like the sweetness and aren't allergic, a little raisin paste or red current jelly in the sausage is something my Danish grandma used to put in. She claimed it was 'to taste' when I asked for the recipe, but it was around 3 T per 5 lbs of sausage. Oh, almost forgot the grated onion, but I use dry in mine.
@gijoker11505 жыл бұрын
Love the way you approached this!! I'm gonna give it a shot because when you look at all the bad stuff they put in store bought stuff, I have been looking for a good breakfast sausage that all can enjoy without the preservatives, nitrates, nitrites, etc.!! Thanks so much for doing this!
@1870s5 жыл бұрын
We just made more a couple weeks ago, I love it
@DRUMMER-j-u2x5 жыл бұрын
Wow, that's being analytical, Todd! Way to get results though! As far as suggestions for added ingredients, I always add a little garlic/garlic powder. And although I've never done this personally, I have heard of some people adding a little fennel (like maybe about 3/4 tsp. to 1 lb. meat). Can't think of anything else, sorry. Out of the test sausage samples you made, I think I would prefer either the recipe with maple or simply the base recipe. Good luck on your search for the perfect breakfast sausage and please bring us along when you do more sampling. Enjoyed the video!
@LukeMcMullin4 жыл бұрын
I agree with Drummer as I am a Percussionist myself , joking aside, I would add to the fennel and garlic powder, Italian seasoning, (instead of just the sage and thyme), Onion powder and smoked paprika, just my two bits. Thankyou for this video it has helped me nail down my own recipe for bear/pork breakfast sausage. Thanks for the video. I liked and subbed to your channel because of it.
@C2yourself4 ай бұрын
Great job! In just ordered a meat grinder and link sausage attachment for my kitchen aid
@AceWCLLC4 жыл бұрын
Great video! I'm making sausage and using lamb roast as my meat. parsley: 1 Tbsp. sage: 2 Tbsp. Rosemary: 2 Tbsp. Thyme: 1 tsp marjoram: 1 Tbsp Garlic powder: 1 Tbsp onion powder: 1 Tbsp ground celery seed: 1 Tbsp nutmeg: 1 Tbsp cloves: 1 tsp white pepper: 1 Tbsp brown sugar : 1/2 cup
@RoseMary-vs3io4 жыл бұрын
How much lamb did you use for this recipe?
@kathleenbuxton69444 жыл бұрын
Ace WC I don’t know if I could put sugar in it but everything else wow
@ladykenja27003 жыл бұрын
E X C E L L E N T E ! ! ! Thanx 4 sharing this in-depth info. 10 Stars.
@ughpizza4 жыл бұрын
Dude thank you so much for this video and your hard work! I followed the base recipe except I didn't have sage so I used fresh rosemary and I added one teaspoon of fennel seed. And it came out amazing! I finally have a good tasting sausage recipe thanks to you!
@davidmiddlebrooks929 Жыл бұрын
First and foremost, I notice the Blue Star Flag! Thank your son or daughter for their service! I too am searching for that perfect breakfast sausage recipe. I agree with Mark, from a year ago, to let your seasoning rest, rehydrate, and "meld" at least overnight. I had some sausage while on a trip, I think it was Swaggerty's. Maybe available at Sam's Club. Very nice with a definite black pepper flavor, very clean, very good for me. I actually LOL'ed at your wife about the rosemary sausage not even being an option. Thank you for your time!
@hollispr4 жыл бұрын
very interesting. Fennel is often used in Italian sausage. I think this would be an interisting addition along with the sage and mace.
@HWP24-7HUTD2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for saving me a evening of experiments ❤️ I loved the spreadsheet
@stumccabe Жыл бұрын
I've done my own experimentation and I found a bit of nutmeg made a significant improvement.
@KGFishyFingers4 жыл бұрын
Like how you roll... great job. Make ours with all the ingredients you have listed.
@1870s4 жыл бұрын
We are all out, need to make more
@lisapearce4338 Жыл бұрын
I did this today!!! It was delicious!! Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!
@hersheyqueenlisa Жыл бұрын
What an awesome video! You saved me so much time and effort by doing the work for me. Thank you!
@largefamilyruralliving7434 Жыл бұрын
I have some ground turkey to try this, can't have pork anymore. Excited to try your mathematically created best recipe!
@JoyfullyOrangeDeborah2 жыл бұрын
I'm Polish so marjoram goes in my ground pork with allspice, salt, pepper, sugar, & garlic powder. It's simple & even my young granddaughters loved it when they tried it the first time. My grandpa was a butcher & he made sausage fresh. I don't put it in skins, I just make patties, but its oh so good. Plus, I've heard sage doesn't can well so I'm safe to make patties & can them. Way to go on the spreadsheet, we must be related in some way! Too bad Rachel doesn't like rosemary, I add it to most things I eat. My 6 & 8yo granddaughters even like a sprig in their water like grandma, lol. Many Blessings from Deborah in West Virginia!
@cayenneman084 жыл бұрын
Good job on the video. That is how I came to my recipe from a lot of experimentation with a lot of recipes. I will tell you that simplicity is the best for my recipe. It has pork, salt, dextrose, sage, black pepper, white pepper and cayenne. That's is and it's as good or better than Jimmy Dean or Bob Evans.
@jamesjoung27934 жыл бұрын
Love your method! This video is EXACTLY what I was looking for.
@jefflink46712 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the hard work…..I really like what fennel brings into breakfast sausage.
@garlandstyle5797 Жыл бұрын
I wanna try this basic recipe. Sounds awesome. Since Pork kills my stomach, I'll use TVP or equivalent. I LOVE sausage for breakfast and miss it SO much. Thank you for a great video. Saved it, so I'll revisit again of course. Michael
@megaraptor32 жыл бұрын
Very comprehensive and easy to follow. Well done sir. I will definately try the base recipie next time I make patties. I have to make my own because you can't buy them ready made in Sweden. Thnx
@trishcraig7232 жыл бұрын
Just made the base recipe. Not bad. If I try again I think Ill add celery flake. Somthing is missing but I can't put my finger on it. Thanks!
@lueveniapettiford26263 жыл бұрын
I tried poultry seasoning, thyme, fennel seed, smoke paprika, black pepper, a little sea salt, sugar, wostershier sauce, milk, nutmeg, all purpose seasoning and liquid smoke. I used Turkey meat. Did not like. Am going to try again with less ingredients. I liked your spreadsheet. Smart!
@SLynn-ud6vg5 жыл бұрын
Todd, I truly appreciate the hard work and concept you put into giving us a basic recipe to build onto! I personally had my bet on the rosemary and the maple! 😋👍💕
@Sallywood2 жыл бұрын
No Mace it is not a sausage.
@christinacyrus4810 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing ALL this so I don't have too! I wanted to learn to make my own sausage so I could eliminate the weird ingredients and chemicals.
@shanevision2 жыл бұрын
I just made a batch of this sausage. I added a little spicy Hungarian paprika that gave it a perfect heat imop. Yep, this is prety much the best breakfast I've ever eaten. Easy to make, much heaper than what ones out of a supermarket, and so much more flavorful. I'll be making my own sausage from here on out. Very nice job on this recipe and work you put into creating it. 👍
@GarySBCA3 жыл бұрын
Before seeing your video I actually did some very similar research in trying to find commonalities in the many different recipes and although I wasn’t as methodical as you (I didn’t use a spreadsheet) I came up with a very similar base recipe. The only thing I did differently is I made a conscious decision to use maple as the sweetener which I used a the rate of 3 teaspoons (1 Tablespoon) per 1 # of pork. I’m a little surprised that you felt a need for even more maple since you were using it on top of the brown sugar already in your base but since you did I will offer up the hint that salt and sugar oppose each other and if you add significantly more sugar you may also find that adding more salt will provide better balance.
@tmnewelljr3 жыл бұрын
Thanks and great job doing so much work and then sharing your outcome! I used your base recipe but doubled both red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper and added the coriander. The extra little heat is just as we like it. Question-what is save time? Some folks cook patties and then freeze. Others form patties, then freeze. Others keep fresh for...how long? More help is appreciated but you've done the heavy lifting already with your spice recipe! Again...many thanks!
@recon2g13 жыл бұрын
Thank you for a great Sausage starter, we went with the sage then added the Coriander and that was the winner. The next run will have Maple in it also. Thank you again.
@reppost4 жыл бұрын
My breakfast sausage recipe is pretty much the coriander version of yours but with half the amount of thyme and about triple the amount of cayenne (unless I'm making it for others, then I use closer to what you do)... plus I add a fairly generous 1/4 tsp of MSG. After a whole lot of tests and experimenting, that was the ingredient that made everything really pop and taste as good as or better than good commercial breakfast sausage.
@sswatson Жыл бұрын
love the rustic shapes of the sausage 😊
@florence7755 ай бұрын
Use Legg's Old Plantation Sausage Mix #6. i use this all the time, it's wonderful. There are other flavors, but this is a good basic flavor.
@deborapettigrew12583 жыл бұрын
My kind of man - spreadsheet - I love spreadsheets - and I love your research - so cool....statistics never lie on what is the best trend to follow - love your idea and thanks for sharing
@SouthernDreamsHomestead2 жыл бұрын
Did we just become best friends? I swear, I do this same thing! This is how I came up with our BBQ sauce, and since then, that's all I've been doing when it comes to creating new recipes around here. You get a good feel for what everyone puts into theirs, because some people will put this in, but not that, and someone else is exactly the opposite. Then you can adjust it to your personal family's taste and VOILA! You've got yourself a signature recipe!
@1870s2 жыл бұрын
Yes we are ♥
@SouthernDreamsHomestead2 жыл бұрын
@@1870s
@StevenStormTrooper4 жыл бұрын
Just tried these , they are BOMB. I went for base recipe plus coriander , poured some aunt jemima syrup on one and ate one without.... so much better than I expected
@ColettaHughes4 жыл бұрын
Put this in my breakfast sausage. 1 lb pork butt 1 tsp Salt 1 tsp Brown sugar 1/2 tsp Molasses 1/4 tsp liquid smoke 1/4 tsp Garlic Powder 1/2 tsp Dried Parsley 1 tbsp Ground Sage 1/4 tsp Black Pepper 1/4 tsp Dried Thyme 1/4 tsp Red Pepper Flakes 1/4 tsp Ground Coriander 1/8 tsp Oregano
@ottonemenz33868 ай бұрын
Fantastic Job
@kamhappy74193 жыл бұрын
I just discovered your page and I am very excited. My go-to breakfast sausage (Goolsby) was discontinued at my local Costco, the only place that carried it. I was looking for a sausage recipe and popped on KZbin and there you were. I am trying this recipe soon. Thanks so much!
@1870s3 жыл бұрын
Oh we hope you like it.
@bobriopel63914 жыл бұрын
I love your approach (same as mine). You saved me a lot of time in the area of breakfast sausage. Thanks!
@MeliBoo49354 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! I would make you base without brown sugar or any sugar at all and I would add coriander, paprika.
@tedrowland78004 жыл бұрын
Great video and love your analysis. I know that if you don't have maple syrup on hand, brown sugar can be substituted. I am going to use your base recipe, and because I have some fresh molasses on hand, I'm going to try substituting that for maple syrup. I probably won't increase the amount because it tends to be stronger than the syrup. I use molasses when making dark rye bread. Thank you for this.
@stopitdonttouchme6664 жыл бұрын
Subscribed as soon as I saw that spreadsheet. LOL I usually do the same thing but it looks like you did the work for me this time! Can't wait to try to make this sausage.
@robc9706 Жыл бұрын
Really great video .. Thanks Todd
@1870s Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it
@consuelomedina21794 жыл бұрын
¡ Muchas gracias ! ¡ Muchas felicidades 💐 guapísimos ! Son muy amables en compartir todo lo que hacen. Sigan adelante.
@nova707ha Жыл бұрын
thaaank you so much this is really good and helpful
@shinkie12002 жыл бұрын
Awesome job Todd. I ordered the KitchenAid meat grinder attachment just so that I can make your sausage recipe
@mrzif0013 Жыл бұрын
from a professional cook. great job!.. my tip try scaling by weight vs measuring tsps.
@vudeulash76454 жыл бұрын
I really like the approach to this. The spreadsheet in my opinion was a great idea. I am so going to try this recipe
@1870s4 жыл бұрын
Hope you like it! Let us know how it turns out.
@rachellesavoie79974 жыл бұрын
Ok so finished making and cooking these and they are wonderful. Thanks again. Now we know what’s in them.
@VallanaTrue3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Ground meat is so much fresher and cheaper than sausage. The sage seems so obvious now but I've been excluding it
@1870s3 жыл бұрын
You're so welcome! ♥
@Dan-jz6dt5 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much. I'll start with the basic recipe first. It's always fun to try something different.
@sadzasnake17552 жыл бұрын
Hi good people. I am South African born and bred but now live in Australia. I urge you to try “Boerewors” (Farmers Sausage) I think you will love it. There are a few good recipes on KZbin that you can learn from. 1. Xman and Co they are from Durban South Africa and have some brilliant recipes 2. Wolksberg Artisans. The same as above but come from a place near to a town called Tzaneen in South Africa To be honest the best Boerewors I have eaten is the Wolksberg recipie but I have a few personal changes that I like and hence this is literally the best Boerewors I have ever eaten. I honestly don’t think you will regret it. Also we make Biltong (South African Jerky) I urge you to watch the above make it. Give it a go. I reckon you won’t eat Jerky again. It is delicious. I am going to make your Pork sausage for sure. God Bless. Cheers Ken Australia.
@davecaldera4 жыл бұрын
Thoroughly enjoyed your video, very well articulated, loved your use of the spreadsheet to determine the base recipe. Definitely subscribing. PS Beard game on point!
@cahoonm2 ай бұрын
Such a cool video! Thank you!
@clintbuchner998 Жыл бұрын
fantastic video !
@dwighthires3163 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. Tonight, I tried to make one pound of your pork sausage recipe. Just made one pound and can't wait to try it tomorrow morning. I don't like my sausage hot so I substituted red pepper for the cayenne pepper. I just see I forgot the nutmeg and don't have any in the house so I will find out. What do you think will happen to the flavor without the nutmeg?
@rodneyfloyd6713 жыл бұрын
Definitely going to try this. It will be my first attempt to make sausage.
@1870s3 жыл бұрын
Hope you enjoy
@SharonNed-x3r21 күн бұрын
I believe I'm going to enjoy making my own sausages. Thank you ❤😅
@1870s21 күн бұрын
Hope you enjoy
@teresacollingwood5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video. I will be trying these recipes myself. We usually get Legg's sausage seasoning the one that says pork on the package. Makes wonderful sausage.
@gered17714 жыл бұрын
I have some Legg's as well. What number do you recommend?
@MrDmorgan523 жыл бұрын
#25
@gathercreatelivewithleslie83403 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna have to try this, I always put a little garlic and onion powder. I will try as is first and then tweak if needed. Pork butt here is about $1.29 and $3.99 or more for sausage
@gingereiss90994 жыл бұрын
This is awesome. Thanks for sharing the experiment.
@teresaa.morris5478 Жыл бұрын
That was great. Thank you!
@sharon945039 ай бұрын
If you want 'snappy' breakfast sausage, you need to chill it very cold after grinding and knead the mixture for a few minutes. It will change to a pale pinkish color, and the myacin will activate and break down the 'chunks'.
@kelliandthekids79013 жыл бұрын
Love your video. How do we find out what your base recipe is - for proportions? Thank you!
@1870s3 жыл бұрын
Everything I did was based on 1# of meat: Base Recipe: 1# Ground Pork 1.5 tsp crushed sage 1 tsp crushed thyme 1 tsp salt 2 tsp brown sugar .75 tsp ground black pepper .25 tsp red pepper flakes .25 tsp nutmeg .25 tsp cayenne pepper
@terrypack33534 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing that that was fantastic now it's time for my experiment thanks
@garysmall7611 Жыл бұрын
Great job Love it
@michealmorris22195 жыл бұрын
I've been looking for a basic recipe I could use for venison and I think I may have found it thanks to you Mr. Todd... thank you very much...
@LindaKreutzer-v2d8 ай бұрын
Wow! I thought breakfast meat was only pork! 😮 I am an 👵 old Loreal blonde.