Flying Foxes, The World's Largest Fern & Cicero Municipal Embezzlement Fund

We'd like to thank John Wisnewski, Bob Daley, Tony Piccarino, Mary Ann Slobzcek, Al and John O'meara, Don Scapetti, Lenny Zuolo and all the others who contributed 5 dollars each to the annual "Paint a Face on a Turd" Fun-Run held this year by Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't. We've almost raised enough cash to expunge the criminal record of Betty Loren-Maltese for the funneling of cash that took place in an insurance scam in 2003 . We'd also like to thank Celozzi-Ettleson Chevrolet in Schaumburg on York and Roosevelt Road for their sponsorship of this video.
See the world's largest tree fern, more parasitic conifers, cloudy ridges at sunset, flying foxes, bird's nest ferns and jurassic-age trees as we explore a sinkhole on the ultramafic slab (the ophiolitic nappe) that was obducted onto New Caledonia in the Eocene.
This video sponsored by "A Hint of Serpentine" fragrance for men. Next time you're trying to sell somebody overpriced goods they don't need, sleaze on some airhead at a club, or obtain a wealthy endowment for your client in a divorce or personal injury case, do it with a hint of serpentine. Made by EverybodySucks, Inc.
Species list for this episode :
Cyathea intermedia
Asplenium nidus
Falcatifolium taxoides
Agathis lanceolata
#Parasitaxus usta
Codia albifrons
#Araucaria muelleri
Support the cause and annoy the stiff -
Venmo a few bucks to "societyishell"
Or
contribute to the patreon at :
/ crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Purchase merch at : www.bonfire.co...

[@josephrobinson9318]

This channel is a masterpiece

[@alyssav2124]

I'm loving the tree ferns in this series. So dreamy and yet so majestic.

[@emersonlamond1024]

remind me of the forrests on the great dividing range over in east australia, also remind me of the creeks of the datrling range in perth western australia where a species has naturalised, they are a quintiessentially gondwanan dinosaur vibe that I can never get enough of

[@stephenwolf6620]

Love me some little knobby knobs on them goddam rachis.

[@Glendamccartneyburris]

Thank you for your hard work, your uploads have really inspired me to look harder at the beauty around me. I never knew botany could be the key to my anger management, Great Vidz!!!!

[@zero.the.prototype]

Hey Santore, I was stuck on the side of a mountain in central Colorado today and I was feeling very alone. I've been watching your videos for a few weeks now and its really been helping with my mental state and my engagement with the world. Anyways as lonely as I was I suddenly felt like you were there with me, and I could see the world almost as you see it. I started filming and walking around, pointing my camera at plants while making up latin names in the best Chicago accent i could muster. I plan to look a few of them up and try to I.D. or at least attempt the D-Key dance. Basically I wanted to put some good vibes back your way because your spirit and teaching really did help me to stay calm and carry on today. Thank you for sharing and for doing what you do. -Michigander 'stuck' in Colorado

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

zerothepr0t0typ3 ~ I think I speak for everyone here- I’d love to see your videos, too! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you know..

[@mattclark7724]

They have some of the flying foxes on display at the Oakland zoo. Their dongs are not only huge, they're prehensile as well.As me and my kids were watching them, ones hanging upside down scratching it's chin with it! Nice!

[@RaeMachiavelli]

I hear Marylin Manson has a similar superpower. nice.

[@mattclark7724]

Except he uses it to scratch his tonsils!

[@dwainkitchel1316]

so nice to vicariously botanize through your phone/eyes, u left from a 1st world country but you're coming back to an autocratic banana republic sadly

[@Shnarfbird]

???

[@opabinnier]

I am loving your New Caledonia jaunt, man! Always wanted to see tons of Angiopteris. Hey and that TALLLL Cyathea is crazy. Never as fat as Dicksonias, Cyatheas shoot up much faster- you can almost watch those crazy croziers unfurl. Sexiest and hairiest ferns around! And here you are in a sea of Parasitaxus... you won't forget this trip in a hurry! There is so much great stuff here. GREAT GREAT vids, bro! (Too bad we let that chubby frog Napoleon III take over New Caledonia, and it's still French: it should be OURS, it's in the name- New Scotland and I think one of the islands is even called Brittania? Damn it. I could have gone ro retire there.)

[@NewMessage]

I feel that one bit should have been filmed in black and white, with you peeking seductively from behind a fern. "A Hint Of Serpentine... Fer dose special moments... Like when you wash yer ass in a creek an' what da shit. Wanna buy a watch? 5 bucks. S'a good watch.. hey c'mere.. c'mere, I'm talkin' at you... C'mere!"

[@AnkhAnanku]

New Message underrated comment

[@bakunicorn]

cpbbd is like david attenborough, but more sarcastic

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

bakunicorn ~ The Bill Burr of Botany!

[@sophiedash4026]

George Carlin, high on nature. 😉

[@thehalfblindastronomer8936]

Love the sounds at the end, really made it feel like I was there. Minus the mosquitoes and stupidly hot and wet weather.

[@freedomdividend1077]

when I'm at the park looking at leaves and thinking oh yeahhhh

[@LayneLovesThings]

“Just broke off some o’dat. Oops. Anyway.” Haha, story of my life.

[@bonez2450]

You make me want to become a college professor in Botany so that I can show students your videos then translate them into college appropriate lessons lol.

[@malo8631]

This is what "college appropriate" should be. I probably would not have forgotten 80% of what I was taught in school if teachers were this interesting.

[@susaneirthug415]

Shit! Back in the days before PC, professors would smoke in classes! Cuss too.

[@aboz8649]

Susan Eirthug These poor young kids are just raised with too much. The expectations are drivin them stinky bastads into the ground aye. I can’t imagine it happening but a life without AI again would be a nice treat, wouldn’t be fun to adjust. We’d have to stabilize after coming down from the phone high and phone hangover idk man okay Go fuck ya selves Love you

[@ElGueroLoco831]

I’ve already sent one of his other videos to my Weeds Science professor from undergrad. I feel that pretty much any of these videos would be excellent supplement lesson material. 😁

[@peterbarber3659]

Love how the sunset colors mirrors the parasitaxis colors. Perfect!!

[@mrzredbadger7848]

why do I feel safe when I hear your voice ...weird...

[@susaneirthug415]

He really helps me not be depressed. He's helping that lady that went to jail and shit. He's a bully killa. Makes me feel like there is hope for some humans.

[@aboz8649]

Insomniac here, he helps a lot. Gods asshole fucking knows why cause I sure don’t

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

I fall asleep listening to Joey’s podcasts. Chicago is my second home, his South Side honk is music to my ears.

[@rosethorne9155]

Thank you for that A+ view of that millipede. It was adorable and magnificent 😀

[@AnkhAnanku]

Was curious about what kind of thing he would teach me about flying foxes. Was not disappointed X)

[@MonoiLuv]

I love your videos, especially at the end of a long day surrounded by concrete, drywall, and conditioned air

[@pameladallaire]

Botany and laughter. Who could ask for more? :)

[@camgood3097]

MEAT BONANZA!! Funny synchronicity.. I just watched today's video (with all the Frozen Plants in TX), and u said to Jack "U wanna go to Sausagefest 2021??" Lmfao.. What r the odds I would randomly watch this one (from a year ago) in which u also mention a festival of MEAT that Jack wants to attend??

[@varsoonhks3211]

Thanks for sharing these views. Nature's beautiful.

[@ogwarfthedawf]

Come back to Aus mate. I'll take ya' bushwalking over a couple interesting national parks. Maybe even show ya' some mushroom pickin' spots aye

[@MeatGuyJ]

Hint of Serpentine: Now with Krait Venom.

[@FayeVert]

I hope you recorded the Betty Loren-Maltese part *before* you heard about the Blago release, which I also want you to go off on a rant about.

[@ogieogie]

Absolutely stunning. Thanks for the bats and the mysterious sounds at the end. Nice.

[@dangus1425]

Being from Crook & Dupage makes watching these much more entertaining, thank you

[@MonoiLuv]

7:17 this is stunning. Never seen anything like it

[@kyle9401]

Your production value has exploded since you started. I'm so happy to see this channel doing well. Keep doing you, bud! It's why we're all here

[@Tatterdemalion-77]

Ya know, I would absolutely send in a donation to get a crappy NPR/PBS-style CPBBD tote bag. Maybe have a membership drive where we are treated to you singing all the hits of Herman’s Hermits or Motown’s golden oldies.

[@jasminewood395]

Whoa shit, I'm watching 6 month old CPBBD and there's 2 new ones uploaded !

[@matambale]

Sounds like it's time to call in the Big Gun, Al Scrotch, on this fundraiser. He really stirs people up.

[@jinagibson6818]

Awesome video content. So glad you're being supported. You really need to force the EPA to hike with you. They may learn something.

[@LayneLovesThings]

Love you so much! Appreciating the world around me so much more, while it lasts anyway!

[@TheEricrya]

Get it while it's hot!

[@thelaughingtiger146]

Beautiful footage of the sunset! Perhaps a few more seconds next time? I also loved the night sounds, definitely felt less homicidal. Thank you, you velvety Bastard.

[@PuertoricanPatriot1]

Hey Just got on that patreon! Hopefully it works for ya

[@zub305]

Loving the night sounds .....

[@danielpirone8028]

Could not love this more. Thank you !!!

[@8ftbed]

OMG! The sanctitude and politically correct seduction of Cicero. 😂😂😂😂😂 The last I saw of Betty was her having a big garage sale. Waiting tables at a local greasy spoon was not supporting her Tammy Faye Baker eyelash dependency 🤣

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

8ftbed ~ Betty Lauren Maltese - One of the last of the old school Chicago Machine politicians. She’s got her own Wikipedia page en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betty_Loren-Maltese

[@8ftbed]

TheFuzzieWuzzie Yeah, I know who she is. Been up here for 30 years. Watched her win and then all the gum chewing tv coverage and then AGHHH! busted and went for a little whitecollar vacation and thennnn her getting out and cthe ming home with lots of tv coverage. Then nothing until it was big news that she was having her big garage sale to make ends meet.

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

8ftbed ~ I forgot about the garage sale! 🤣

[@fatherpossum]

What a freakin great video giant ferns, sundews, and a bat or 2 what's not to love, Thank you

[@katiekane5247]

My parents bought in McHenry county, hour & 1/2 commute to work in Chicago back in the 70s. School in Evanston, had to live in what was the hood back then, N. Rogers Park. Apartments built in the 30s with holes for the ice man to deliver into. Prolly totally gentrified by now. Howard Street was an open air drug market. Better education than college!

[@markkaidy8741]

Very cool!!! Watch out for snakes, spiders a nd sink holes..be safe..and thank you!

[@austinscottish8223]

No one: Serpentine for men: get some action with serpentine

[@venisontron]

I'd buy a t-shirt that says Obducted Ophiolitic Nappe

[@mynciee]

Seeing the flying foxes against the sky was so peaceful

[@Frank-dv4zu]

wikipedia says she took 12 million! thats not peanuts

[@BlottoOttoMan]

Celozzi Ettleson "Where you ways save more money!"

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

BlottoOttoMan ~ Victory Auto Wreckers kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2e3hYKubq5pr5I

[@JamesSmith-wp4um]

"Hard to find, tough to beat"

[@adamarchy]

RE: comment at 13:40. Right, but the taxes in Cook are too damned high because everyone working in county government is brought in thinking it's okay to take a taste. I live in the East Bay now, but if I ever move back home, I want to see the county clean up its act and part of that doing away with the attitude that corruption is simply a part of doing the county's business. F___ that.

[@mixolydian2010]

This trip is amazing, loving every bit. How do find yout way around without getting lost. Take it easy.

[@susaneirthug415]

I got lost in the Hoosier National forest for 8 hours. This was before GPS. Thought I was gonna die. Canopy is heavy no long views. Going up a mountain can be okay but guarantee he has all the boy scout stuff plus a gps tracker satellite thinggy.

[@mixolydian2010]

@@susaneirthug415 Jeez thats heavy. Man wouldnt yah love to be there with him, amazing island. I thought when he's on the path its okay but he wanders off into the undergrowth i figure he must be using gps. take it easy.

[@dangus1425]

Grew up right next to Bachelors Grove, Midlothian

[@kirkha100]

I watched the millipede. All I could think of was...”Did you hear the one about the millipede that tripped and fell?”

[@LindaB651]

New Caledonia seems lovely- was really intrigued by the drosera (one of my faves!) Live in New England, but have spent time in more southerly regions of the world- am fascinated by places where growing doesn't shut down a few months every year! Love what you're doing; bought some merch. (Hope you get a decent percentage!)

[@dflatt1783]

Who dislikes these vids lol? wtf?

[@Grateful_Dad_54]

Glad you pointed out the 'knobby knobs'! Wonderful video with (again) more info than I can retain. :-) Nice shout out to DG!

[@gloriacardenas2056]

Valió el esfuerzo fue difícil pero las plantas y sus flores son espectaculares muchísimas gracias por el video.

[@ceciwolfcat7]

"Waxy Dennis Farina"😂 You're a pip!👌🏻

[@corndogsanchez2752]

Dennis Farina was great in Get Shorty. I didn't expect to find him in the South Pacific.

[@jackbenimblejack1]

please open a botanic garden and run tours for the public. god bless

[@PeterMJJacob]

incredible content. . . Best on youutbe

[@revealTheTruth2012]

not joking nothing has made me happier than the mention of my least favorite yet still oft frequented home despot. but it's on 26th and cicero. the cermak and cicero center has the cermak produce, the easiest AMC theater to sneak into and watch 3 movies in a row in, a white castle, and my all time favorite taco bell.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Used to paint graffiti on the train tracks near that home depot twenty years ago.

[@SpecialAgentJamesAki]

That millepede was massive

[@anotherluckydad]

Another great stroll.

[@Smileyson58]

You gotta have that thick accent it’s what gets us off ❤️ all those long science words impress me even if you make them up (burrito slot being me fave) I don’t give a donut if it’s correct or not I’m here for it all

[@sitaroutreachministry6289]

i lived in Downers Grove upon a time!

[@petmonsterd]

eau du Serpentine has a nice ring to it lol

[@grantraynard]

Excellent :)

[@leeedmunds2539]

Fanfuckingtastic.. as per!

[@VickyDPi]

The Home Despot

[@peterhope-simpson4901]

Don't know about new Caledonia, but lots of pacific centipedes etc.pack a hell of a poisonous bite....fijian ones specifically ,agony for a while.

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

Speaking of roads..did you know there is not a single spot in the continental USA that isn't more than 20 miles from a man made road? I think of that sometimes when you show places where I never spot a road or telephone poll. You might have ticked off the Palm people who watched this by not ID ing the palms. New Caledonia is a hot spot for California palmophiles. That tallest looked like an Actinokentia,but I could be totally wrong. Yep,love Lycopods and Selaginella. So hard to grow in the dry air bay area. The Cyathea was magnificent. I've never seen a tree fern ( I've seen a lot in the bay area) come close in mass or height as that one. I thought the Dicksonia's in GGP park were enormous..wow,that Cyathea!

[@BansheePhoenix]

Millipede! Look at those leggies go!

[@Cynomys1]

those are some mind blowing flora and landscapes!

[@pixazelz]

wow I wonder what kind of critters we can find there like the frogs , salamanders , birds , fungus and moss etc I'm obsessed by micro habitats, micro plants , etc ... doing a video on the biodiversity of this plance would be amazing. I never heard of this place and all the plants there I would like to get lost there for days only observing them and documenting... hope the place is well protected from urbanization so it will stay that way in the future

[@Frank-dv4zu]

love the farina

[@PyrrhosHans]

Gosh, I love tree ferns! Last year I got myself a little Dicksonia Antarctica but somehow it barely made it over the (very mild) winter last year and is still in quite a bad shape, please like this comment to help my boy grow.

[@heliosign]

You'll get your balance man. Keep at it, and thank you.

[@markiewodi3371]

Cicero “my kinda town”..... you didn’t thank the good mayor Betty Lauren Maltese??

[@robertcuff5704]

Dang I used to have a few specimens of drosera neocaledonica, wish I knew about the ultramafic substrate... them fuckers died on me

[@lucyb15]

thank-you for the final sounds....fabulous!

[@camgood3097]

"Blue Farina"?? More like "Lou Ferrigno", am I right??? (It's big)

[@playerprophet]

Dragonfly spotted at 3:05

[@kenhunt2861]

Great view of this very alien landscape. Wonderful! You lost me though at the expungement PSA. $12million ain’t chump change.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

It was.... A joke. I do not support Betty Loren-Maltese or any other sleazebag Illinois politicians save for their comedic value.

[@kenhunt2861]

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't : dude! I wasn’t tracking so well. My apologies. My hat is off to you as always. You always amaze.

[@paulchristian2673]

You fooled me, and I grew up around Chicago. As the saying goes, sarcasm never speaks clearly.

[@baltazarcrump]

To paraphrase Studs Terkel, Illinois politicians aren't the most corrupt, but the most theatrically corrupt@@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

[@Grateful_Dad_54]

The view at 28:50 was absolutely stunning!

[@pianochannel100]

He says Mackis just to piss off the people who would correct him :)

[@joshmann7587]

Now that was a sunset! Glad you put that in.

[@shaggy0917]

I love how Millipede's legs move. Such a cool system to deal with all those legs

[@shmnstr92]

I am getting ads for a creationism museum on your videos. The one with cavemen riding dinosaurs.... yeah.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Whoa sick. Sounds awesome. Take some edibles and watch it again with the sound off.

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

That place is a hoot! I was more upset by the Prager ‘University’ ads myself. But I watched them, just to support our friend.

[@shmnstr92]

@@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt Damned funny commercial, only reason I mention it is that that sort of thing goes against what you're showing you're viewers concerning evolution. The place is named The Ark Encounter, ran by Ken Ham, if you are at all concerned.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

@@shmnstr92 oh yeah I know that guy ive seen a porno with him in it before.

[@jaxonryder]

How tf do you pay for traveling to these crazy places?!

[@WonderMagician]

Thanks for the botany tutorial

[@StupidLittleYTName]

Love the up close shots of plants and bugs and then the zoom out to beautiful landscape.. perspective.

[@Jordan__Sloan]

That parasitic gymno was siiiiicccckkkkkk, want a full color tattoo of that right now!

[@_siggi_783]

Cannot believe that is a fern

[@catheriner999]

As much as I come here for your charming commentary, the panning bits with just the wind and the insects is nice too. Those parasitaxus are very cool and alien-looking like so many of the new caledonia plants. Just thinking about how long they've been around and successfully propagating blows my mind. Sci-fi and fantasy artists need to be watching this and picking up tips instead of making everything the same-y same northern european setting. Give me some weird-ass ferns and fuzzy predatory whatsits. Thanks for the video as always Tony, take care of yourself fuckface.

[@Bert2368]

@ 28:20, I think the flying foxes are "ridge soaring" on updrafts from the wind hitting the hills and deflecting upwards, not soaring on thermals. Needs sunlight on the ground for thermals. Same difference, they can climb or hover with less work.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Wind was coming from opposite direction, towards the right. Sun had just set and ground was still warm.

[@fenrirgg]

That place seems very empty of insects, maybe it's the season?

[@Urbanforager]

I lived in Dupage county for a couple years

[@BohemisX]

Me:*sees new video* Holy shit it's him Him: Holy shit

[@wildhareonthegulfofmexico3539]

Any good surf there?

[@PlayMoGame]

20:26 Got some mites hitchin' a ride on the millipede train

[@orions1396]

I need a ruler tattooed on my finger now. And where do I donate to the fun run?