Crimson Earth - Crimson Crap

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

"It's more zombies, everybody." I like how you can just hear the life drain out of Jim's voice as he says this.

[@jeremiahchambers6025]

1:04

[@Blacknight8850]

5:19 - Thankfully they cut away before Tweedle-Dee falls to his knees, sobbing and holding the bundle of string that was once his twin brother, as the wizard who transformed him teleports away still chanting his reality-warping alphabet spell.

[@_DATA_EXPUNGED_]

We have a containment breach! Keter class reality bender - help!

[@FutureDeep]

Melt e Wizard. What will you melt e Wizard with?

[@sengoku_fin]

Aaaaaand made this game?

[@RobertSzasz]

While he was finally free, he would never forgive the wizard for denying him the satisfaction of watching the life slowly go out of his brother's eyes.

[@mitori]

it says a lot about the game when the top comment is about the part of the video that doesn't cover the game and is something irrelevant.

[@wrong_reginald]

Honestly, didn't want Magic E to end.

[@ItalianoMobzter7]

That... That wizard just murdered that boy's brother...

[@thewhispererindarkness9117]

Alright the only word I know that fits is German, but here goes: "Tot becomes Tote with me, magic magic e." (Tote is German for "dead")

[@swanclipper]

then what's "tot" in german?

[@thewhispererindarkness9117]

Yeah, that's what I meant: had to mix languages to come up with one that worked for him dying.

[@proudtobeme1ashkente]

Where the English use one word for many meanings, Germans usually have different words. "Tot (sein)" means "(to be) dead" and "Tote" are "the dead".

[@DamonVerial]

After this video, the developer put the following comments on their steam page: "This is fun. This is the definition of fun gameplay." -Jim Sterling

[@Sonichero151]

Damon Verial would that be false advertising?

[@Postcinct]

Jim your relatively obscure BBC references always remind me of early mornings watching VHS tapes as a kid, always gets a smile out of me.

[@PreceptorGrant]

holy shit, 'magic magic e', it's amazing what the mind forgets all about for decades then instantly recalls after hearing the first three notes...

[@michaelplatt1959]

PreceptorGrant do you remember that one that goes “Why don’t you build yourself a wall? Build yourself a wall with an “ing”!” I think that was from the same show. Words and Pictures wasn’t it?

[@PreceptorGrant]

Yeah, primary school tv programmes. There was some properly trippy educational tv made in britain in the 70s.

[@MathewHaswell]

It's "Build yourself a word" and they're both from Look And Read.

[@MelissiaBlackheart]

If you have crimson crap you should see a doctor.

[@russianspy5307]

It's probably just some anal fissures, it'll heal in it's own time

[@SirusDiarota]

Don't care. Go anyway. Better to be sure than miss something major. RE: TotalBiscuit.

[@UltimaLestat]

I'm sure Jim will be pleased to know that Funky Butt-Blood's message is finally being heard.

[@whoisbatman]

Ah, who could forget Skeet Ulrich in his seminal role of the Last of the Power Pylons. He's a true power house of actoring, he is.

[@MichaelJohansen]

And now I got the "magic e" song stuck on my mind... Thanks Jim!

[@LambastMercy]

Thank you so much for reminding me about Magic E. I spent a long time looking for Words and Pictures after you put Wordy in an episode and now I'm gonna do it again. Thanks to teachers too lazy to give us a proper lesson, its an unforgettable part of my childhood.

[@DauthEldrvaria]

The magic E song was my first time ever hearing such a song and it was pure gold. I loved it haha.

[@ViralKiller]

Im not even a gamer still love these videos..

[@saifis]

Great, now I get to have the rest of my weekend with the Magic E song stuck in my head, just dandy

[@bulletproofblouse]

Shit becomes shite with me Spit becomes spite with me Magic, magic Steam (boodle-de-dooo!) Magic, magic Steam.

[@PortalStorm4000]

Boo de deeeee not boodle de dooo.

[@sagethegreat4680]

Pil-e of steam-e shit-e

[@nitehawk86]

Crap becomes crape with me Ars becomes Arse with me...

[@akrybion]

bulletproofblouse This needs a million limes!

[@nitehawk86]

Limes?

[@joestewart2026]

The magic E song was just amazing! Thanks for that one sir, keep up the great content

[@jamesdandrea7284]

4:42 Because he's Jime Fuckinge Sterlinge sone

[@waynedaniel]

Holy shit "Derek Griffith- Words and Pictures" hours spent sitting on the video carpet at primary school.Oh God I'm old it's not fair I want my youth back

[@fen7662]

I've never seen Magic E, but I suddenly find myself nostalgic for it.

[@Big-The-Dave]

Magic E was not something I expected to see again in my 30s, but thanks Jim.

[@RedBairnMedia]

Damn, love the magic magic E song. Closely followed by that floaty orange bastard with a light pen who told you how to go down, around, up and carry on.

[@OmegaStray]

Magic E was the highlight of this video. Thanks for the nostalgia trip.

[@Sinintheair]

that magic e part was the most entertaining part of the video.

[@Khornebrzrkr1]

Yeah, I think this is the garage from a game you played called "Zombie Parking" a long time ago. In fact it looks like this is the exact same game but with a different character!

[@SirusDiarota]

#That'sTheJoke.

[@DragonNexus]

The fact that the Magic E song was never remixed into a club anthem makes me weep for the species.

[@phoenixofmightgaming4878]

Magic E, just ask your local dealer for this fantastic letter. :)

[@mattdamutt5681]

You know what would be a real kicker? If someone made a copyright claim on the "Magic E" scenes.

[@zterrans]

I have an idea for a game: it will be shooter where you stand in a room and gun down zombies as they slowly amble over to you. There are almost no examples of that, I'll make a killing on sales, right?

[@kudosbudo]

You know. make it so the zombie run away, they flee and you have to chase them and hunt them down.

[@merseygoldfish9010]

Thank you Jim for inflicting the Magic E song on me, I'm traumatised now, suffering hellish flashbacks to the sort of televised tripe I endured as a child. Still less traumatic than this game though, I suppose, fair game.

[@sapporohaust]

Thanks God for Jim Sterling, that Magic E cartoon has just blown my mind. Let me just thumb up.

[@TheGuyinShades]

I actually thought the blood spraying effect was kind of cool, then I noticed the same effect happens when your bullets ricochet off a wall, it's just colored differently...

[@NoveloMaus]

That dude's hand is clipping through the front grip... ...I'm not even a minute in and I can tell this is gonna be something, uh... ...else. Yeah, something else.

[@KyrosTheWolf]

By 'something else' you mean the same lazily shoved together zombie crap that takes up Jim's steam library

[@1toncheese]

Even better the dudes gun in the menu was a bullpup weapon with the mag still in front of the trigger. They didnt even get assets that make sense here

[@KyrosTheWolf]

Maybe it's a made up gun. Or maybe they changed it so it didn't replicate a real gun for copyright reasons, or some bullshit (like how they had fake gun names in MGS5)

[@HidekiAdam]

Haha, not seen that magic e song since I was 6 or 7 (IE: 35 years ago), thanks for reminding me of it -.o

[@Dr.Moogle]

The "Magic E" segment was so out of no where, even for Jim.

[@danielruncie8047]

Magic 'E' what a character he was turned Tim into time!

[@mudgie0205]

Magic, magic E...

[@MathewHaswell]

Wordy shall haunt our dreams...

[@Jamal_Tyrone]

Oh yeah that floating pink dildo top that would try to educate us, WTF was that all about?

[@MathewHaswell]

It's like Noseybonk. Meant to be amusing - being the "host" of the framing device in Wordy's case - but comes across as creepy.

[@arphaxadbasilona1871]

I am very disappointed in you Jim...didn't your mother tell you not to play with trash? especially if they are crimson colored? have a bit of class... well at least you're not playing aliens colonial marines...

[@Thrasher1984]

At least he's not Anthony Burch...

[@SsnakeBite]

The writer of that Magic E song just couldn't be arsed with rhymes, could they?

[@Starman_Dx]

Pretty sure that magic e's pipe has a stripe on it. Also, I could use some of whats in Magic e's striped pipe right now.

[@Tolinar]

Great song. I had more fun watching that than I would have for playing it. And I didn't have to pay to watch! Quick, someone give me a commercial or something, I feel guilt coming on

[@michaelplatt1959]

Magic e! Not seen that since I was a kid! Amazing!! 😂

[@seriousspikesam7770]

Crimson Earth - it's like if Crysis City from Sonic '06 gave up on life and left. Then came the zombies.

[@bdawgschnarr6623]

LOL

[@SSofIreland]

Alright, here's a message for any budding indie devs who might be reading this: _Do not put zombies in your game._ Just don't. They have been beaten into the ground, dug back up, and pounded into a bloody pulp before being beaten into the ground again. You cannot make them unique anymore. You cannot make them fun anymore.

[@alfaxenokappa1401]

What about Killing Floor? Dead Space? Halos 2-3? Then again, those aren't indie games (except KF, I think).

[@SSofIreland]

Dead Space was released in 2008. Halo 2 and 3 were released in 2004 and 2007, respectively. The genre wasn't quite as stale back then. Since then, we have had zombie game after zombie game after shitty, lazy zombie game pop up like mushrooms all over Steam. Everything that can be done with zombies has been done. They have been beaten to death, and the only reason anyone uses them in games anymore is because it's so easy to just fart them out onto Steam or wherever.

[@23Scadu]

Anyway, the Flood levels were always the worst part of any Halo.

[@CreeperKiller666]

IDK. In the context of fantasy, having them as minions for a necromancer hasn't really gotten stale yet. As long as you have other, diverse types of enemies to fight as well as zombie. Of course, you could just use skeletons instead.

[@captainhindsight6994]

SSofIreland leisure suit z hasn't been done yet. Imagine fallout immediately after the bombs fall all centred around a porn studio. Bonus points for getting through a gangbang without losing a body part.

[@capthavic]

You know you're in for some quality gaming when the first thing you notice is discount Doomguys hand going through the forward grip of the gun right there on the title screen for all to see.

[@deepaction69420]

Im concerned about that wizard, he straight up killed that dudes brother!

[@dan4474]

I love how there's more talk about the Magic E wizard than the game in the comments.

[@generalerica4123]

Those gore effects are store bought as well if I remember. There was that one game Jim played with spiders in a desert that had the same effects. Can't remember the name tho.

[@rcblazer]

Ugh, another boring game where you endlessly shoot zomb... is that the Magic E wizard? Now I'm invested!

[@Wesserz]

Holy shit I've not seen Magic E for what must be 20 years

[@SlackerKite]

I remember my time in college with magic e, and this is exactly what I remember.

[@Bohab420]

I love when Jim goes off on random tangents relating nothing to the game

[@StreetSoulLover]

Magic! Magic E! It;s like being back in school again watching those crap educational videos after morning playtime.

[@NoLastChances]

I know this might be a wait of time but can you see my cover of Mr. Blue Sky I did for you please? Thank you

[@mystbunnygaming1449]

That parking lot is from Driver on PS1!

[@wilfordbrimleyful]

magic magic E.

[@MrMacavity]

The magic E video part was the best

[@doomyboi]

Well I'm off to see the magic E song in its entirety now, enjoy the zombies Oh that was pretty much the entire song. I've been baited.

[@derdrakkar]

I didn't even notice that was a menu until Jim opened up the additional windows. I thought it was a loading screen.

[@SSofIreland]

I thought the devs had just forgotten to put the menu in entirely.

[@PaulSoth]

The lone and level sands stretch far aw- oh, wait. There's the edge.

[@alabamajrb5534]

That magic E song was gloriously awesome. Never heard of nor seen such before.(and I'm old.)

[@andyface]

Jim becomes Jime with me. I'm magic, magic Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@Marscow]

You'd have to be ON magic e to enjoy this game.

[@JonathanRodd]

The second I saw zombies my interest level plummeted. I was happy to hear you had a similar reaction to the zombies :P

[@sarcasticspaceleopard8439]

5 seconds in and I already notice the soldier's rifle grip is clipping through his hand. The hallmark of quality

[@MrMetsavaht]

This game is made by EHTechnology . I love how all of the positive reviews for this and EHTechnology's other games are writtenly exactly like advertisments (positive, but incredibly vague and shallow, almost like a generic game description). Also the people who leave these positive reviews own nothing but shovelware games and 90% of their reviews are for the other products of EHTechnology (and are similarly written). I wonder...

[@The_Nametag]

"Farewell, Crimson Earth! I am off to join the Crimson Sky." Beautiful.

[@Durandurandal]

@7:43 Love the hand clipping through the vertical grip.

[@gamesdisk]

....the magic E song has been stuck in my heads for years. Now the torment begins anew.

[@elephantjuice2183]

You just teleported me back to my primary school days. Magic bloody E.

[@SSofIreland]

4:42 for the best part of the video.

[@FoxMcFoxy]

The magic e song taught me more about the english language than 7 years of school did.

[@dojoguy15]

Just think everyone, Jim edits parts out of the gameplay to make the video. We subjected ourselves to roughly 12 minutes of watching this, but Jim paid for and subjected himself to playing it for more than 12 minutes. Thank God for Jim Fucking Sterling Son.

[@Obe4ken]

If it's any consolation, this video inspired me to reinstall DOOM.

[@jonnydarkfang2816]

Obe4ken Think I will too, great game....

[@michaelplatt1959]

Been replaying it just recently after reading about the Switch version. Fantastic fun.

[@jskd2953]

Back in the 90's, I remember having some very fun nights on magic magic E... ;)

[@sabre0smile]

omg Crimson Skies flashbacks now... I don't know anyone else I can watch play garbage for ages and still be amused by

[@norsebrony346]

Magic e omg i remember that when i was a kid at school

[@MathewHaswell]

A painting is painted. A story is told. The old lady fainted when the crooks stole her gold.

[@RockPlays]

i have a picture of that exact parking lot that was used for a color grading tutorial on youtube lol

[@UltimaLestat]

Wow, Magic E... Thanks for the blast from the past Jim! Made watching this garbage game worth my time!

[@lilpotayto]

I can't believe someone other than me still remembers the Magic 'E' song. That was the shit back in primary school.

[@8Aerondight8]

I've been falling for THIRTY MINUTES!

[@Zinfidel1]

You know a game is going to be good when it starts immediately with no context. Just "Start shooting crap and repeat!"

[@TheFingledorf]

Is Magic E from vintage Sesame Street?

[@Jamal_Tyrone]

Nope, it's British educational material from the BBC for whatever you folks call Junior School level children, the one before Comprehensive School AKA High School.

[@ChrisSmout]

Google BBC Look and Read

[@Matrim42]

Magic E and the ending made this all worthwhile

[@OmegaVideoGameGod]

Lol, I always love your videos Jim. XD

[@ginsu3396]

I like Crimson Earth, it's a cheap game but the main character looks and moves around like a bad ass and it cost me 0.73c. it's good fun IMO but yes, they could of polished it up a lot more.

[@Dintendo64]

Well that magic magic E song just took me back to school!

[@crane8819]

Jim's quest to find the edge of the map always makes these games a lot more interesting... which is really sad.

[@MEDlC92]

I really love the toy shop gun sounds.

[@Artistic_Storm]

I love your style of humor

[@jare3959]

Globules of Spunk Honey was my favourite 90s Grunge Band.

[@DeepInsideZettaiRyouiki]

Magic E ?!? Are you a David Icke fan? He got some cool ideas about it and its "properties" for occult fraternities, apparently even him missed that song! Occult Crimson Supreme!

[@zakkuredwolf]

Didn't do anything with the reticule being right on the head? Reminds me of X-Com :3

[@reverenddmo8944]

The Words and Pictures flashback was worth suffering this tripe. We need Dog Detective or Bill the Brickie next time.

[@radicalthestral8210]

YES! You can run off the edge of the map! That's the sign of a true quality game

[@KassFireborn]

I wonder if this dev has considered a wine-making game.

[@marcusreading3783]

Errr...well...that was...kinda nostalgiac...I think I saw that Magic E song when I was in infants school...wasn't expecting that today!

[@hanyoukimura]

Oh man, I remember Crimson Skies. Awesome game. Wish it for a sequel.

[@Wren6991]

That magic E thing gives me heavy nostalgia. Is it from... Skyhunters? Sky watchers?

[@JeroxB]

01:39 in my head the character goes like 'nehenehenehenehenehe NJEH' as he does that little shuffle and kick :p.

[@TheTwofatgamers]

Man i would hate to be Jim, having to pay money to pay for crap like this.......

[@russianspy5307]

He could refund it unless he played it for more than two hours in which case he's just a masochist

[@DushanChaciej]

He could've also spent his time playing some more promising projects where the devs put some work in.

[@hippymad1]

It'd be considered a work expense so he'd be able to get it back in his tax

[@TheTwofatgamers]

Like some kind of messiah?? should we worship him?!

[@CreeperKiller666]

"having to pay money to pay" Pay-2-pay? I think we just found the next big business model! It's genius!