Crisis of Confidence - Lyneham Heath - Helmet Cam

I’m very annoyed with myself for showing such a lack of commitment and nerve in this video. After two eliminations in 2014 and a couple of falls in 2015 (the last one seeing both Pigeon and I going over backwards out on the cross country course at Sapey) I have lost a lot of confidence in myself. I have been making progress with getting my bottle back but didn’t realise how lacking it was until this trip to Lyneham Heath… We started off happy enough but when Joe made that triple bar bigger and wider I went to pieces and that hesitation stayed with me for the rest of the session, transferring to Pigeon as well. Unfortunately my confidence crisis shows itself when I get just in front of the fence and loose heart pulling Pigeon up. This then makes Pigeon less confident when I come back around and try again and a vicious circle follows! I am very lucky to have such good friends who are supporting me through this and trying to help me regain my usual lack of self-preservation and trust in the Pigeester... Also featured in this video are two of my fellow Blenheim teammates (we do have a good laugh between my blips). Tor and her fabulous Irish mare Nuala make it all look so effortless! Then there is our geriatric combination of Claire (in her fifties) and 19 year old former 3* eventer Harry who loved being back out on a cross country course. I’m also indebted to Abi (again) who has keen eyes on the ground and came up with the cunning idea of moving my reins to the middle hole on my gag so I can’t pull Pige up as easily in front of the fence. I felt very guilty towards Joe MacDonald my trainer during this trip… It must be very frustrating for him to see me ride so poorly when he knows that Pigeon and I are perfectly capable of jumping anything he puts in front of us! So now to make a decision… give up and settle in my comfort zone or pull on the big girl pants scare myself silly and get on with it? It’s no choice really… I love jumping this mare and owe it to her to have faith in our ability together. I know it will take time and effort to fully get my mojo back but I am determined to overcome this set back! Comment with your own experiences of losing (and regaining) confidence. Hopefully your stories will help me through this sticky patch.
PS. Apologies if you had already seen this upload which then disappeared. I found there was a minute missing from the end so had to upload again!

[@jumpingtheworld8314]

literally me when I knock a pole down: "Oops."

[@miamason8024]

Jumping the World same lol

[@kamillaruzsa3036]

yes me too :)

[@exstrella77]

Jumping the World I have been riding for 7 years. And never knocked down a pole...

[@thatanxiouschild1182]

Exstrella I doubt that❤️ no offense. But no...

[@exstrella77]

Ashamed Equestrian I’m serious... I never have. I’ve fallen off plenty of times.. but never knocked down a rail...

[@amaramcinerney9474]

Am I the only one who was counting the strides 😂

[@elizabethp8188]

Dixieland Kizzy i was too 😂

[@caitrionaoneill3489]

Dixieland Kizzy no

[@marthacalcott1058]

Dixieland Kizzy nope i was to xD

[@alyssa_bhacka]

Dixieland Kizzy I was too... 3,2,1

[@imogenhoole]

I was too hahah. Pigeon goes so deep into jumps

[@yaseminmae3900]

Personally I find when I'm a tad bit nervous going towards the fence I say "I can" this actually helps my friends almost everyone I know uses it! It kind of gives you a little boost of confidence and tricks your mind into not being scared! It will help your horse as well and it will give pigeon a lot of encouragement try it! :)

[@tauma_the_goat7156]

Yasemin Mae I’ll definitely give that a go!

[@equineelli2726]

I say whatever happens happens 😂

[@kiramagennis1827]

Great idea I always say you can do this and your horse / pony can too 👍

[@yasemin4761]

@@equineelli2726 exactly lol!

[@chronicbeauty6531]

Anybody else find themselves subconsciously clenching their legs before each jump? Lol. Love your videos!!

[@iawe7282]

😂😂 glad i am not the only one!

[@diamondhorse8845]

Lol! Same! I thought I was the only one! Do you also feel nervous for the rider? I can't explain it! Lol!

[@novaatwal1377]

Meeeee

[@elliexoxo747]

I felt nervous 😂 even watching my riding videos back my heart races

[@suerode500]

Yep I do 🤣

[@charlotted5208]

"Where's 3?" Me all the time

[@DevonSpurs]

I love your channel because you don't play music and I can hear everthing I know this sounds weird but its true

[@cehewa]

I totally get this video. Don't feel too bad hun. Anyone who has been riding for any length of time has had days and lessons like this. And riding is kind of a cycle. You get really skilled and comfortable for a while and then something happens to sake your confidence - but in the long run it is those trying times that make us grow as riders. You and your girl are a lovely pair and I know you will be just fine :) Just know you are totally not alone in this!

[@Micawber1410]

Hi 😊 as a fellow past loss of confidence rider......I think trying to put on your big girl pants and push yourself is the worst thing you could do. I would drop a level (who cares what height you jump anyway?) have a good winter sj season at a smaller level, go to as many low key comps as you can, loads of combinations, parallels (as you seem to have most hold ups with these) and hopefully be able to go back up a level by the end of winter. You should always always be 100% happy with the height and width of every jump you do. I feel like if you keep pushing yourself it's only going to spiral downhill, you said yourself in one clip that 'I don't even want to do it' so why push yourself? I don't mean this to sound completely negative in fact I hope you take it as positive. I lost my confidence in my eventer after numerous stops (turned out his back was out but in the meantime I had started to not come into a fence 100% confident and it got worse), so on my instructors advice I dropped a level, only for a month and my and my horses confidence returned and went back to flying around BE novices because I never ever doubted again that Mac would jump the fence I asked him to. At the end of the day no one should be pushing you out of your comfort zone (I agree we all need a little nudge occasionally but only when the question is answerable by both horse and rider) jump what you feel happy with, enjoy it and your confidence will come back - promise! 😊 Good luck x

[@ayavanhells4209]

+Megsie1410_Equestrian I agree.... plus your horse feels the loss of confidence and then loses confidence in him or herself. Jumping, especially XC takes a very brave horse and if he and you both aren't confident it could result in very serious injury for both horse and rider.

[@thedogwoodwitch]

100% agree with this comment!

[@showjumpingpeggy2340]

That's exactly what I did! I used to jump 80 cm until I had a really bad fall, and I mean really bad. We were doing a chase me charlie and it was about 1m and I got the complete wrong striding and ended up on my pony's neck. Bless her heart because she still tried to jump it. My leg swung over and hit her bum so as a mare she started bucking and bolting straight towards a wall. I fell off with luckily no injuries but my confidence was shook alot. I decided to go back to basics and jump 50 cm for a league that I actually won! Now a few months later I have confidently started competing 90 cm and I can't wait for the year ahead.

[@monolithicphoenix987]

I’m still building up confidence on my new horse! I went from running in fields whenever I want to, to riding in an arena. It never hurts go down a few levels! Still working my way back up!

[@Sasha-mn4qk]

I agree! For some people it may work to push yourself, but others it is setting up for failure.

[@Lottshorse]

Just one last thing, at 7:12 I heard you says "oh let's do the tires, they look fun" and call me crazy but appeared to me that they were the best jump of the day because you looked positively towards them. I'm guessing with that new found positivity you steered towards the next jump and a couple strides out your doubted yourself. Don't let that happen- keep the positivity! There's a jump and I'm going to jump it! For me at least, works every time :) (I know it was probably bad timing after the earlier events, just for next time :) )

[@Lottshorse]

Everyone has confidence knocks. I fell learning to canter and didn't canter again for over a year. I was also violently thrown into concrete when a horse I was riding took off bucking across the paddock and I found it very difficult to get back on afterwards. Every rider knows what it's like to have a fall or a near fall experience, it goes with the territory and is to be expected with horses! But letting these fears over rule you can mean not only do you miss out on fantastic experiences you may have had but you're going to look back and regret not taking that step forward and giving it your all when you were capable of it Fake it till you make it, a very good instructor once told me this. Heels down, shoulders back, eyes up and fake it till you make it. No matter how afraid you are you need to just sit up and pretend that you're the most confident person in the world! Pretend to be an Olympic athlete or you're trying to impress someone. Don't get cocky, just use that as motivation.

[@Lottshorse]

Wouldn't let me write more haha so continued; It may sound really silly but it helps so much! It's helped me loads and I feel really confident that I can now handle whatever a horse throws at me! You're a fantastic rider and you have a wonderful horse, you've certainly proved that! But this may be your only chance to get out there and prove that you can do this and that you're the best rider you can be! Don't settle for second best. Everyone remembers the people who pushed through and rode their hearts out, but no one remembers the people who shied away and called it quits just because a little bit of stage fright got the better of them. You're a fantastic team and one of my favourite riders on KZbin, you've come so far, don't give up now! You've got an entire community here that's backing you and willing you on to succeed :) hopefully that's a little bit of motivation for you, but in the nicest way possible, you can't let the fear control you (trust me, I know it's difficult) xx

[@BorkyVT]

+Lottshorse I fell while learning to canter too, I was around 7 at the time. I'm 13 now and just started up riding again in January, and am now slowly starting to learn to canter again, kinda. My confidence always gets the better of me (I ride a horse named Harry, he's 17.33hh so its a little scary lol, but he has a smooth canter so its nice to learn with) and I end up either A) Back in trot or B) Suddenly no horse beneath me lol

[@haleynorthpie6740]

Heh my instructore forced me to canter the week after a horse bolted and I fell for the first time ;-; Oh well, it made me get my confidence so IDC!

[@hunaraggarwal8236]

Lottshorse same with me. I too fell of horse learning canter and i didnt do canter for 2 months but at a competition i overcame it and now i can gallop it

[@charlotte1100]

I’ve fell off more times than I can count, and I haven’t lost my confidence once - which is weird. I have a rib that’s gone weirdly turned in after my horse stumbled and I rolled off the side and I got back on then did no stirrup work whilst everyone else continued with jumping. My first ever fall was when I had an older horse called George, who was quite tall, and he bounced before he transitioned to trot or canter and he bounced a beat late and I fell off and whacked my head causing me to pass out. When I woke up again and regained my balanced and whatnot, I continued to jump and canter on him, because it didn’t phase me. So I guess you can say *not everyone* goes through cracks of confidence

[@saltyfroots9]

I've had incidents where I've lost my confidence while riding, it's really just a case of pushing through it, having some really good jumps and learning to trust your horse again. I ended up crying throughout a whole course because I was so scared, but I forced myself to do it because I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't get my confidence back. After that I felt better though and I knew I'd be ok, I just pushed myself forward, pushed the horse forward and I'd say I'm now even more confident than I was before, just because I made myself do things I didn't want to do at the time. It all works out in the end, keep going.

[@caitlynkhalifa2217]

Lol I remember when I saw that this video was uploaded, I loved this channel :(

[@emmaclancy1989]

watching this makes me so proud! i love watching you and pigeon and youre being way to hard on yourself! my instructor always tells me "riding is for pleasure" and shes right! ive had bad falls and my confidence has been rock bottom for a long time now but im slowly building it up again! just remember to have fun when youre out and forget about how big youre jumping. its about how well you jump, not how high, so start small and build up again slowly. thats what i did and now im back to jumping the 1m20 again! pigeon is an amazing horse and youre an awesome rider so dont be too hard on youself and just enjoy it!

[@hippiesolitude5136]

I totally know how you feel. My tip for you is go back to basics. Take the jumps down, and really try and connect with Pigeon on the flat and just being with her and around her could boost your confidence. Jumping smaller jumps also helps you focus on other things than the task ahead. Bringing it back to basics has definitely helped me. :)

[@rathakitty]

I can't believe she's gone...

[@rathakitty]

BrittAndBellamy07 Pigeon. She died

[@rathakitty]

BrittAndBellamy07 Haven't you watched her most recent video?

[@bellaharper260]

rathakitty whos gone

[@rathakitty]

#itsBella Pigeon

[@merci_3chu898]

Who is gone I’m just new

[@xxcolourmecrazyxx]

What about having a lesson on a schoolmaster? (Talland / Summerhouse?) So YOU have your confidence back which you can then transfer to Pigeon. I think the fact that you're asking yourself if you should give up or get up and go means deep down you don't actually want to be jumping smaller or what you think is your 'comfort zone'. Maybe even get someone to jump Pigeon for you so when you get back on you both have the confidence in each other.

[@chronicbeauty6531]

First I wanted to say that I love your channel, your horse, your style of riding and how you praise her constantly and encourage her. You never let your voice raise too high and you keep your cool. I also like that I'm not the only one who has confidence troubles. Sometimes I watch the big eventers and show jumpers and I feel like they aren't scared of anything. I forget that we have that issue every once in a while. Thank you for showing the real work, not hiding your feelings or falls like a lot of people like to do. I appreciate having someone to relate to and I'm so glad I found your channel! You keep me inspired to keep going and face my fears!! Keep up the great riding!!

[@lillyloveshorses3206]

I just wanna say that you and your horse have all the potential in the world you have just got to believe in your self because that horse is gonna take you far

[@iam3.14yearsold6]

Lilly Loveshorses sadly shes gone now

[@armadillo-arts]

Pigeon has unfortunately passed away. She's in horsey heaven now ❤️

[@caitlinsmit4512]

Hoofbeats_and_Heartbeats Hey there...do you know if Alex is still active on KZbin, does she have a new horsey?

[@miamason8024]

Whenever I have a horse refuse I just tell her/him: “Oh come on! You can do it!” If It doesn’t work the next time around I just get frustrated and even if the horse is at a walk I’ll make it go over, I do Show Jumping so I don’t think I can do it in XC tho, but it mostly works! 😂 Edit: I’m stupid, I only make It go over at a walk if the jump is low, obviously not over an oxer lmao

[@shay4210]

I'm regaining my confidence too after my horse dumped me over an 85 cm fence

[@Amythest9422]

Thank you for sharing this. I too am rebuilding my mojo and confidence. I am finding that small steps and only pushing to the edge of my comfort zone when In am having a confident day is working. I also am learning to be gentle with myself and forgive myself for not progressing as fast as I would like. Supportive trainers and friends are critical. Your video helped me manage my tough day with success.

[@aidanham]

I never really dared to leave a comment before, but here I am after 3 years. I recornize so much of the situation and emotions in this vid. Only just now I have fully regained my confidence after losing it 4 years ago. I still remember the very day I saw this vid, when you had just uploaded this. It sparked up a little hope that even riders I looked up to and jumped really well could face this issue. You and Pidgeon have truly been an inspiration to me and a big help getting me back over those jumps. You guys are the most beautiful horse and rider team I have ever seen. It broke my heart to hear about Pidge. I still return to your vids every so often to see the wonderful bond you shared that inspires me in the first place. This time to also let you know about the lives you two have touched. Me and my horse are finally flying over jumps again and I thank you and Pidge everytime I clear a course. Thank you, lots of love

[@laurensloane6517]

I really hope you get your confidence back, I miss watching your videos! I can remember when i first came across you channel and really admired how brave and bold you both were and aspired to be like that! Hope you get your confidence back soon, don't give up. xx

[@emb8144]

I smiled so widely when you said "Ohh shall we do the tyres, that'll be quite fun."

[@courtneystevens4945]

I have seen a few of your videos, and I love how calm and collected you are if Pigeon is a bit scared of a jump and refuses or if you fall off, it is good to see horse riders not get angry at the horse (whether the horse was at fault at the time or not) get angry at the horse, and rarely hit their horse with the crop. You and Pigeon seem to be a good team and seem to work well together! Keep up the good work :)

[@zoegoodman3497]

"I can't do this, I don't want to do this!!"

[@Iamrealhonest]

That horse is truly amazing. She goes on and on and dosent tire. One in a million.

[@naughty_pony893]

TwoBlondeEquestrians also stop trying to pretend your the best answering to 99% of everyone's comments😷😷💩💩

[@Marianne_L]

That triple bar was massive!! I think you're doing so well, and your confidence will definitely come back with more work. It's all relative, I mean I would never dream of jumping something so huge, but then I have my own confidence issues to work on. I usually find that just sucking it up and trying is the best way for me. Then if it doesn't work at least I can say I did it. Knowing your limits is super important too, don't push yourself too much too fast, or that'll just push you even further back. Having people you trust with you when trying scary things is also a good way to settle nerves slightly, then if something does go wrong they're there to help. And they can give you a good kick up the bum when you need it! Good luck with future jumping work. I look forward to seeing you and Pigeon build in confidence again xx

[@peidupaik]

love this video! :P don't worry, the confidence will come if you push yourself forward, you and pigeon are such a great team and it's lovely to watch you two evolve :)

[@izzydrage7718]

where are youuuuu? what are u and pigeon up to recently?

[@anadin56]

+izzyandbromley Fear not, we are still here... Just enjoying a winter break while I am busy with work and addressing a couple of health issues with Pigeon (the stops may not have all been about my confidence after all). I hope to get going again properly in the New Year!

[@randomcoloredmare9013]

+A Horse Called Pigeon whats wrong with pigeon

[@izzydrage7718]

+A Horse Called Pigeon oh wow! is pigeon ok?

[@wolfsrule100]

+A Horse Called Pigeon I hope all is well!!

[@thatconnemaramable8284]

+A Horse Called Pigeon I hope pigeon gets well soon! Looking forward to seeing more videos!

[@lovingequestrian]

I know exactly what youre going through, I went through it this summer as well, I worked so hard to get it back. When you said "I can't do it" I remember myself saying the same thing, my horse reminds me a lot of pigeon in the sense if you aren't confident, neither are they. I've thankfully gotten most of my confidence back. best of luck!

[@Thatspecialbond]

I'm actually really relieved that there is a video out there where the rider isn't confident. I love to jump, but my horse is small and I get scared a lot so I totally get the lack of confidence. Keep pushing!

[@victoriakent6324]

Absolutely love these videos! They are great to watch! :)

[@oliviabowsher3428]

+A Horse Called Pigeon I hope you get your confidence back I've watched this clip for many months and I have finally decided to tell you how you helped me get over my fear of jumping! Getting into the story... I was extremely scared to jump even a tiny first hole cross pole and I commented on your post and you replied and helped me! I am now happy to jump 1m-1m15 you have seriously helped me over come my fear especially when I go out to shows no more crying! Thank you so much for helping me be so much happier when riding my horse you are such an inspiration to many people! 😘😘💕💕💪🏼🐴

[@bec6421]

This horse is so honest, and he is just trying to do his job, and the lady is TERIBBLE on the poor mouth and it makes me sad to know that some people just have wonderful horses but cannot even ride themselves

[@Caz_Hamilton]

its called being nervous.

[@eventingtia8512]

You and pigeon are amazing together no matter if you feel confident or nervous

[@DevonSpurs]

PLEASE POST MORE VIDEOS its like you've left us all hanging :(

[@wolfsrule100]

Pigeon is basically Unridable right now. You can follow her Facebook page (same name as YouTub channel)

[@sodawolfy]

why is she unrideable?

[@DevonSpurs]

+Truffle * I dunno check her Facebook I think it tells you why

[@wolfsrule100]

+Truffle * hormone issues.

[@lovingequestrian]

When I went through it, I always wished I had a horse that would just go, but looking back, thank god for my horse for taking care of me, telling me to take a step back for a minute.

[@lizghent6943]

I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. I lost my nerve a long time ago. You did a wonderful job though! Most of your spots were perfect, you just talk yourself out of it. Keep on being brave because you seem like a darn good rider! :)

[@b0nedad]

I love Pigeon's ears! they always make her seem super happy, she's so cute!!

[@krazykatsneezes2]

I remember when I first started cantering I was really confident until one lesson I took the corner of the school too tight in canter and fell off. For months I had a massive fear of cantering any corners or circles but one day I had decided that enough was enough and I was determined to get over my fear of corners and the only way to do that was canter the corners. I feel like I am over that fear now. Everyone loses their confidence but you just have to remember that it's only temporary if you keep pushing through it, next year could be the start of something new!

[@jetxboxrz175]

You are my inspiration! I fell 3 years ago and I'm still very nervous and I don't even try to jump. Well, until recently my friend asked me to go to her lesson with her instructor, and I jumped high! (For me) Pigeon is such an amazing horse and still after the falls you have on the X-Country course you get back on, I could NEVER do that. Hope everything is well with Pigeon, I heard she isn't too well. All my blessings x

[@freedischwallin4031]

I hope you feel better, you obviously love horses and horse jumping. The sport needs more people like you, happy and funny and loving. Pigeon is one lucky girl to have you. And she loves you right back.

[@mads7534]

You did really well!! I've had so many confidence knocks, I've even pulled my horse out of a jump that was barely 2ft!! The best thing you can do is push through it, it will make you so much more confident knowing you battled and faced your fears :)

[@equiikay1323]

this is *AMAZING* never doubt your self you amzing!!!!!!! you never blamed pigeon! you love her and at the end of the day that's all that matters xx

[@12sophieg12]

You will get there, stick with it. I completely lost my nerve - didn't even want to trot and one point and now I am out team chasing and XC is my fav by far!! Don't be so hard on yourself :)

[@emiliec4391]

OMG I have just found my new favorite account on KZbin your channel is awesome!! I love the helmet cam so cool!

[@surrealismyreality]

I had a big fall out on a hack once (strange horse, different country, lots of people and I was fairly young) and it left my confidence completely shattered, I essentially had to re-learn how to ride again. It took me a good year or two to get back up to where I was (I was only just learning to jump at canter). Now its about 15 years later and I'm competing and hacking and I absolutely love it :) I think you need to give yourself time to heal mentally and not rush or force yourself to jump too big otherwise you'll do more harm than good.

[@MeTheMegaSunshine]

Stay strong girl :) If you fall you have to get back up! It will build your confidence up, just keep on going! I love all of your videos btw! :) You go girl!

[@romanyrivertolstoy7322]

finding your videos very useful at the minute Alex, practicing counting strides and not tensing while watching your videos really helps me in the saddle :) hope you come back soon! x

[@horsecrazieneigh]

Pidgeon is so ready to teach you a lot and he already is really I think you know it with in yourself to. If you're positive that horse does anything you ask and when you aren't sure pidgeon sits on his rear end and refuses to budge. He's one brilliant horse!

[@horsecrazieneigh]

Sorry for the misspelling "pigeon"

[@justastarr9402]

That triple bar was massive! I wouldn't have even ridden up to it, never mind attempt it like you did! Hats off to you! :)

[@amywhitelaw4244]

hey girl just found your channel about 4 5 months ago and absulutly loving the channel hope you upload soon you know we have all have had those crisis of confidences so dont get your self down about it you and pige ere made for each other xx

[@FancySassy80]

also what helped me over come scary jumps is when you know your coming up to it at a good stride is close your eyes the last stride out and trust your horse.. leg on.. and feel the jump.. it helps.

[@twoblondeequestrians2918]

Actually, Pigeon had PPID aka Crushing disease and it wasn't about her confidence. Go to her most recent video. She explains in the desc

[@FancySassy80]

Yeah I saw that, she just put her down too because she was getting dangerous.. but she also said that she was having trouble with her confidence from a roll over, that is also why the title of said video is "Crisis of Confidence".

[@mywelshieandi7631]

FancySassy80 Yes but Pigeon had been stopping before. And maybe she had some confidence issues but Pigeon still jumped for her.

[@bellahutson8818]

That was lovely riding! 💚

[@Llamasrock03]

"Come on you wimp" tbh you encourage his nervousness at the threshold of a jump or ditch

[@xxkvck]

Darling. You and Pidge are my inspiration for me and Chase. Don't give up now

[@rachelalleneventing8958]

She looks absolutely fabulous! You're definitely right that when you lose your confidence, her confidence goes too. So when you were approaching the wide spread, you tensed right up which made her very nervous! Then when you pulled her out of the jumps, she then knew to be scared of them! What you need to remember is that she can do it, you know she can do it! You just have to believe you can do it! She's a total machine when out cross country, she looks very fast and strong! That's a good thing as you want her to be forward! You praise her like you should and it's really nice to see her getting a reward either verbally or physically by giving her a pat! The only thing you have to do is BELIEVE in you and her! Believe that you can get over it! I promise, just push her into it and tell her is ok! You two are fabulous!

[@candelalorenzo9911]

please come back!!!! i love your videos💕👌

[@hollylouise1814]

I think you did so well!! I lost my confidence in 2015 after a bad fall off a tb in a gallop - I fractured my ankle and knocked myself out. My riding hasn’t been the same since. It’s me, I’m not scared of the horse, or the pace, or the height, it’s something inside me. I haven’t ridden for 10 months, and I’m trying out a new horse on Saturday..wish me luck xx

[@lucycoleman5051]

You can do it Alex. I'm starting to get mine back after a couple of years...seem to find starting small and working up each time helps a lot so you don't scare yourself straight off! and the odd ride on something else to give your brain a rest from worrying it. All the luck in the world to you and pigeon...you are fab together :)

[@FancySassy80]

oh I know how you feel with lack of confidence but it looks like you have a great horse and she tries so hard for you.. keep it up and you will be back in your normal mind set soon.. I had a rotational fall when I was 16, ended up in the hospital for a few months recovering.. it took me 4 years to get back on a horse but another year to get back into jumping, I could not have done it without a great coach/instructor and a great horse.. so yes you can do it.. if I can.. and you and pigeon are a great team love watching your POV cam videos.. keep it UP!

[@ilikebigboysonly8456]

Do what makes you and Pigeon happiest, there's no point in jumping high if you two aren't safely enjoying yourselves when you do. Don't be afraid to just take a step back and do less exciting things, if you're smiling that's all that matters.

[@ljequestrian6791]

How I cope with getting nervous is leg on, eyes up, and hold on :P I also find because I am very shy in group lessons when the jumps go up I am too scared to say anything in front of everyone else and don't want to be the only one to have a stop so I just force myself to do it.

[@madisonryan718]

I've had the same feeling before. It's really up to you, but for me, I always feel guilty when I don't do it. And once you have done it, you feel so much better. You can always work your way up there, but you should always trust your horse and your trainer. In the end it's up to you, but we know Pigeon can do it, and I know that you can do it too.

[@hollowground7557]

All been there. Lumber is lumber, just trust the horse, they do the jumping they just rely on you to get to the jump. I hope you come back love ❤️ love your videos

[@toxiwrites]

I recently took a really bad fall where I thought my shoulder was broken, thankfully I am okay. But I totally get the lack of confidence. I fell off jumping a 2' jump and for like 3 weeks I wouldn't even go near a 2' jump. I am getting a little better about it but if I feel I can't do something I just won't. It gets really nerve racking when you have a bad experience. Keep your head up! Things will get better soon! p.s I think your horse is lovely!

[@michaela1383]

I've had the same confidence issue lately. I've been training my pony for around 9 months now and we had our first fall about a month ago cross country and then a week later had another fall (it caused me to be so injured i couldn't continue with the show we were at) and my confidence was completely gone. Since then we went back to basics. We started with ground poles and slowly worked our way back up to cross rails and now we're working on some smaller verticals. I don't jump nearly as high as you do, but I can see where you're coming from with your confidence problem because I have the same issue going on. We just kind of started over and now me and my pony are becoming as confident as ever. 😊

[@daniellemercier9309]

Beautiful horse! :) Hopefully you get back into it really soon! I get nervous sometimes too in front of a jump, and the best thing is to try to breathe and really squeeze your legs! Watching this video, I could tell every time that Pigeon would stop because I was thinking GOooooo (more leg, stronger riding) lol. And every time when she did jump it after a refusal you rode it a bit harder and she had no trouble :) Horses do feel our emotions easily so it IS hard to not communicate our nervousness to the horses. Good luck this year!

[@daisyandbennieschannelx5308]

I think you confident is amazing you fly over those jumps you have an amazing horse you do amazing well done

[@issymorley7702]

I adore your videos, it seems like you're very local to me because you go everywhere I do!

[@armadillo-arts]

I...I'm so sorry for your loss...

[@jemma2994]

My nerve went with you! I give myself a hard time too but you shouldn't, we all have off days. You two are a great team!

[@sianryland2510]

good video and love your horse .

[@angiebeanful]

i think u did fab my confidence is shattered now i used to break/school ride anything i trust my 18.2 irish draft but not jumping big anymore i have a new 17.3 alot more forward but still getting to know eachother wish i had some of your confidence your a great rider and love your horse

[@rhikelly1533]

Don't beat yourself up over it. We all have our days when our confidence just plummets. We all have them.

[@Idk-yt4rt]

I know this is soo late... but I go through the same things all of the time!! I find that overthinking stuff sometimes gets the better of me and it backfires pretty badly! You shouldn’t be annoyed with yourself though because you an amazing rider and everyone has bad days sometimes!!

[@thehendersons8121]

It’s ok you are doing really well. Find those distances with your eye and go for them lengthen your stride or shorten it. I saw that you saw some distances and went for them. But the others you just sat there. Find it and go for it! You gout this! We believe in you!

[@hazel6472]

Oh man we've all been there. I can feel your fear through the screen

[@sararose5263]

I have the same problem! My trainer made a jump with black planks and my horse hates them. He has refused a handful of times at the jump and I'm scared to go over them, fearing he may refuse and I fall off again! But every time I watched you do the oxers, I kept going you can do it, don't be afraid! Because I completely understands how it feels when you can't get over something. Remember don't give up because nobody remembers the guy who gave up.

[@kathrynschaller8875]

I know how you feel with the confidence woes. My horse took a flying leap about 3 strides before a tiny (TINY) crossrail and I fell on my head. I put a pole on the ground and started from there. As soon as I gained more confidence, I tried a crossrail at the trot. Once I gained more confidence, we did it at a canter again, and are back to jumping small courses. Take your time to get back so that these jumps are your comfort zone again. Stay at this level until you're positive towards all of the fences, and move up in tiny increments. We all have a confidence shatter once in a while; don't let it get you down! That one-stride tire jump combo was beautiful because you wanted to do it.

[@4Zelda1]

Best of luck with Pigeon in 2016:) Love watching your journey!

[@charlottevigneron727]

Well done, That't amazing... keep going !!

[@madisonlankester2325]

When I first bought my pony he had back problems that we didn't know about. They were only minor ( and all sorted now) but he used to throw some huge violent bucks with me and wouldn't stop until he threw me off! I was petrified to ride him but with time, it all comes back So just keep going, you and pidge are a great team!

[@yentlvanbreugel9096]

I was crying during my last junping lesson when doing a 60 cm jump. Not out of fear but afterwards when all the tention and nerves came out. I am proud of myself tho because I have just started jumping again after 2 years of not doing it because I had a very bad fall which made me scared so instopped doing it. What you experience is so normal and its okay :)

[@yueni_01]

does anyone else count the strides and tighten ur stomach during the jump lol

[@arabellat8827]

I have gone through some sticky patches with my confidence. Bought a novice horse when I was a novice rider around 2 years ago and went downhill after that. Sounds similar to you - I panicked about striding and so would pull up or circle away at the last minute away from a fence after a couple of bad falls (one resulting in some broken ribs) so was very nervous. Eventually sold that horse which was the right decision and brought a schoolmaster instead. Now am having a great time with my riding but occasionally have a bad lesson where I pull up in front of jumps again. To get through it I take a couple of deep breaths and begin to put more trust in my pony - then he flies over them! Normally happens when jumps get bigger. I hope you get through this stage in your riding x

[@connieadams7549]

Go on Alex you can do it !!! Just carry on and keep doing what your doing!! Xxx

[@isabellaemilsson]

You are so good!

[@orangecountyandtiffany6063]

You're so amazing!

[@blazy9370]

TwoBlondeEquestrians i swear i see you on almost every comment saying that pigeon is gone..-_- i think we know now

[@kianadavitt6756]

That jump was pretty high, we all have those days but u will get it eventully :) you were good you kept trying. keep it up

[@evacochrane515]

I am learning to jump and I can only canter into 50cm with my sometimes naughty pony but we're working on getting higher! A couple weeks ago I cantered into a 40cm jump and landed on my head when I fell off. I got back on and trotted into it, that was fine, I cantered into it and landed on my head again. It took all my confidence to canter into it again, but we did it.You trust Pigeon so much and you are a great team. You know you can do it!

[@bridgetwebber5873]

Hey! So I lost my confidence as well a little while ago. My horse spooked twice, and I fell off twice. I rode a completely different horse for a while. And by a while, I mean about 9 months or so. It was really hard for me to gain my confidence back. I still don’t *fully* have my confidence back. It takes time! My trainer said that the worst thing to do would be pretend like it never happened. Face the issue that it did happen, and that it’s going to take some time to regain that confidence. Just remember that. Good luck!

[@moregallop2146]

OMG I miss you two so much... 😭

[@Lozzify2]

I've had low confidence for a couple of years now especially jumping up to about January this year. I only used to be happy jumping the tiniest of jumps (not even 2ft) when I was on the right pony. But I have found that over the last year or so I have started to believe in myself more and at the end of the day as long as I get over the jump I don't care what I look like as that can be worked on later! This is all due to having the most amazing loan pony who I was scared of jumping a cross pole on in January of this year and now recently jumping a double where the last jump was at least a metre and I'm realising my love for jumping again! You'll get there again, I know it's hard but you've just got to try to push out the negative thoughts and experiences and focus on the good ones for example think of a jumping session where pigeon and you felt amazing, and watch the footage too! Don't put yourself down about it just positive thinking!!

[@voidbellarke8171]

this looks like so much fun to have a whole field to jump in

[@urpharmacyboi3467]

I’m quite late to be saying this but I know how it feels to lose confidence too, I was at a show riding a green pony and my trainer for whatever reason wanted to put me in a class where I had jumped that height once or twice. We did fine in the warmup, but in the actual class I was crazy scared and we ended up getting disqualified in all 3 jumping classes because we got 3 refusals at one jump each time because the pony is kinda relying on my confidence, I became afraid of courses for a couple weeks and we finally overcame the jump recently (the show was hosted at my barn). I couldn’t be more proud of myself and the pony I rode. Take it easy and do what’s comfortable, and when you feel you can move up again, don’t hesitate because a part of you knows you’re ready and capable.

[@VildeOpien]

I totally understand why that jump scared you, it was terrifying! I am working on getting my shit together while jumping bigger fences, but it is harder than it looks! I love your videoes though, they are very entertaining 😂👏🏻

[@twoblondeequestrians2918]

#rememberpigeon

[@emilyjackson9107]

TwoBlondeEquestrians what do you mean??

[@twoblondeequestrians2918]

HayItsEmmy because Pigeon died

[@meganproffitt424]

Daniel Felipe What's rude?

[@chaoticneutral6048]

Daniel Felipe that's not rude it's just the facts

[@zoehales5502]

Daniel Felipe umm I wish I didn’t have to say this but pigeon is dead

[@Kellyannmaglio]

Your videos are very entertaining i must say