225. The sad tale of why I beat my stove chimney with a blunt instrument

#narrowboat #narrowboats #canal #canals #liveaboard #cruisingthecut
Enough people spotted and commented upon my sad-looking stove chimney in the prior (roof painting) video that I thought I had better come clean, do a confession, and explain why it's looking so dented. This is that story.
See the chimney being made here: • 138. Getting a custom-...
See the dinette rant at: • 26. In which my new na...
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Theme music: "Vespers" by Topher Mohr and Alex Alena, from the KZbin music library

[@ScowlerJase]

"Mary, that bloke on the next door boat is talking to his chimney again...."

[@katyb9532]

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have watched this video. I STILL laugh after watching again and again! A humorous end to a difficult day. ❤️ from the great State of Texas!

[@PuntBamaPunt1972]

We had a saying back in my Navy days - "If it is stuck, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyways."

[@katyb9532]

2 years ago, after 42 years of marriage, the love of my life passed away. We were just 18 years old when we married. I must say, your videos and series have helped me through some very difficult times. Through your Vlogs, I feel I have made a new friend and I sincerely thank you. Cheers to you and may God bless you. ❤️ from Texas.

[@CruisingTheCut]

I am so sad for you to hear that; an immensely traumatic time for you. Glad the videos could help in some small way and my best wishes.

[@katyb9532]

@@CruisingTheCut Thank you for your kind words. ❤️

[@toomaskotkas4467]

That was a beautiful story, David. It had everything: drama, action, comedy and happy end. Well done, well done indeed!

[@althafrafianto]

questionable pfp mate

[@lindacox6010]

I really got a kick out of this story. You always seem so calm and mellow. It must have been some sight to see you beating up your chimney. Good job! Well done.

[@dorsk84]

You followed the unwritten rule. If at first you don't succeed....you need a bigger hammer.

[@vadmal5210]

I think you are one of a few that can make a talking vlog more amusing then some of your sailing vlogs.

[@agw5425]

Next chimney ask the builder to not weld the bottom 1/3 but to put in a folding latch that tightens it when closed so it is solidly on when you want it and loose when you need it to be. Good story and well told.

[@captainzeppos]

Confessions of a narrowboat man lying on the top of his steel roof lamenting his tormented chimney. A piece of art for the ages.

[@tinniswood2577]

I'v often found that uncontrolled violence against inanimate objects is an answer. it usually shifts the issue along a bit.

[@bradcollins9647]

Don't change the chimney. This one has a story now, it looks like a tough little one who survived a horrible treatment. A new one is just shiny and boring.

[@hazchemel]

Save the Chimney!🦾

[@gregtheredneck1715]

As you were describing your bashing of the chimney, I had visions of Basil Fawlty giving his mini a jolly good thrashing!

[@pietrodragan]

I have seen all of your episodes (from Sweden), and suddenly this vlog channel went epic! I have to admit that I was laughing really hard and could see the whole action clear in front of me. How you first started gently and carefully and then become more and more iritated and frustrated, and finally how it blow the top for you and built up a rage so much that you needed to spank and bash your brand new chimney. But that was also a laugter of recognition, because the mad guy hitting his so beloved chimney, could have been me...Thanks David that you're telling how a normal weekday could look like behind the camera. Keep on doing your marvelous work...

[@oceana9294]

Yes, par for the course for many of us isn't it? It's good to know others may react similarly and looking back later it hopefully causes a rueful laugh.

[@davidw1518]

I had exactly the same reaction and feelings!

[@for.tax.reasons]

I can't believe David just confessed to battering his beloved chimney half to death due to anger issues and is now conspiring to replace it with a younger, prettier model, _escandalo_

[@muddshshshark]

xD

[@CruisingTheCut]

I'm a 50-year-old man, I believe such thoughts are compulsory.

[@for.tax.reasons]

@@CruisingTheCut that chimney gave you EVERYTHING and this is the thanks it gets

[@ianmedium]

Ahh, Adopt the Japanese principle of Wabi-Sabi, there is beauty in patina. It adds character and is not sterile. Not everything needs to be perfect. In fact, you now have, as you have just shown, a wonderful talking point and added history to this glorious adventure you are on! I say, all hail the stubborn chimney, let it remain as a reminder of your independence!

[@django1364]

HAHAHA since I started to watch your videos this has to be the most hilarious vlog, you had me laughing with your animated expression 3:14 had to replay it many times....

[@kevinhammond9864]

I would pay very good money to have seen footage of a crazy man shouting and attacking a chimney reminds me of Basil on faulty towers 😂

[@pennywebb867]

The only thing he didn't do, and we only have his word on this, is ferociously shake his clenched fist at the thing.

[@kevvywevvywoo]

Your candour on the matter is touching, I can envisage your gentle descent from mild vexation to barely suppressed apoplexy

[@edwardmedina1236]

LOL - I can just see you whacking at the chimney with hammers and other boaters passing you by wondering what the crazy man was doing.

[@samsanimationcorner3820]

You're a good story teller, truly!

[@CruisingTheCut]

Thank you! 😊

[@mrtnsnp]

Fawlty Towers on the Canals.

[@GoUSA111]

If anyone orders 'a prawn goebbels' or 'mentions the war' they will have to come take me away. ;-D Again.. a very entertaining, enlightening and excellent vlog.

[@jasonmooney2797]

I really like hearing you explain things!!! You are a great storyteller with real life experiences!!! I wish you would write a book!! Thank you for all you do!!!

[@leonlowe]

What can I say? Few people could have made the story of your dented chimney so entertaining!!!

[@leonlowe]

Incidentally, I spotted the dents much earlier but I'm glad now that I didn't ask!

[@1tonyboat]

Here, hear just could not stop laughing myself..😂

[@hillbillysceptic1982]

I can’t help but notice the outstanding job you did on your roof again David, I used that video as a lesson for my daughter to use her own wits and talents to solve her own problems. Keep up your efforts, they make difference my friend.

[@MrTheanalogkid]

Best vlog I’ve seen this year! You are a great storyteller indeed and made me laugh several times throughout. I’d call it patina and enjoy the several more years of use it will give you👌

[@RVgeeks]

Obviously that chimney deserved a bashing. Fine work, David! 😁

[@greghilton7797]

Hear Here

[@davidjones8680]

This may well sound a bit mad, but believe me it works. Just give the mating surfaces a, liberal coating of good quality black boot polish. It contains a small amount of graphite which is the magic ingredient that will stop it becoming permanently stuck. The same goes for threaded items on things like exhaust manifolds or anything that goes through constant heat cycles from cold to hot and back to cold again. I learnt this trick from and old steam boilerman when I was but a mere apprentice, and fifty years later I'm still using it. Trust me, it does really make a big difference when the time comes to taking things apart again. David in Dudley.

[@CruisingTheCut]

Intriguing idea! Cheers

[@mikerilling2745]

David “hey Chris I need a new chimney” Chris “what happened to the old one?’ David … Chris …. * Staring at the mangled chimney * David …. Chris “right then”

[@ericstanke3291]

You could make the description of buttering toast riveting

[@chrismcneese4901]

I agree!

[@garynoble4320]

riveting .....? considering his chimney quite the description

[@cheriblair6983]

You make me laugh so often when I'm having a "other than pleasant day" on this side of the pond!! Thank's for the great story telling!

[@LucasdeWet]

David, you are truly a master storyteller. Thank you for this week's giggle.

[@CruisingTheCut]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@VictorVictor-hq7ui]

🤣🤣👍That was a great story. You're funny without even trying!

[@gti505]

Now that's the story I love. Explaining for more than 9 minutes about the dented chimney. Cheers!

[@mattevans-koch9353]

Truly a Pyrrhic victory David. Thank you for such a wonderful and entertaining story. We shouldn't hate you as all of us have had the same experience with some thing like your chimney. Take care and have a good week ahead.

[@thorphinnskull-splitter7602]

Had a jar of pickles last week that took two men and a boy to open. We were moments away from using the hammer when my son luckily got it open. I knew a hammer would break the glass jar and probably cause a trip to the hospital but at that point I did not care. My son's heard some new cuss words that day. It was worth it. Heinz pickles with a perfect crunch. Great video. Loved the story and the boat passing silently behind you was pretty neat.

[@dickvarga6908]

"... no impact whatsoever." The evidence suggests a great deal of impact, sir!

[@pamelaschaeffer6285]

I love your rants! You do it so well. In Hawaii we are in our total lockdown, so a chuckle is so welcome, though I watch all of your vlogs over and over. Great destressers. Big aloha and mahalo!

[@nicolafox9173]

Storytime with David is sheer joy. More please!

[@CruisingTheCut]

Aww, thanks Nicola :-)

[@tangie777uk]

You tell your story so well, you cheered me up and got me laughing as its just the sort of thing I would have done. Love your videos and am working my way through. Thank you

[@CruisingTheCut]

Thank you so much!

[@marcdebruin2425]

So I have been listening to a 10 minute story about removing a chimney from a narrowboat. Strangely entertaining. 😄

[@gregmartyn1873]

I just thought the same lol and at 05.31 in the morning ha ha 😂

[@pennymartinez3357]

🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 I don't mean to laugh at your frustration but you just made my Monday exceptional. Thank you!

[@CruisingTheCut]

Glad you enjoyed it!!

[@Wyrm1701]

And this, kiddies, is why we always apply some sort of anti-seizing compound to two metal parts that at some point in future have to come apart again. Now, I'll grant you that this knowledge has been hard-won on my part, and also yours too, but harken to this snippet of wisdom: use the grease!

[@celiaty5814]

So enjoyed the chimney tale, an excellent hilarious bit of storytelling. Told with enthusiasm, in your unique expressive manner, easy and relaxed reclining on your boat. 👍👍

[@billharris6886]

Hello David, I know it can be intensely frustrating when a simple mechanical device does not submit (this is also probably an indication you are not a mechanical genius). To determine what you may be up against, I went back and looked at episode 138, where the chimney was replaced. Since you are working with a chimney that has the inner and outer liners joined together, there is no way you can knock the dents out. I noticed in episode 138 when the new chimney was being fitted, it fit quite tight. Therefore, a years worth of flue ash, tar, acid, and water, is guaranteed to rust the chimney to the collar. I would recommend taking a small (toothbrush sized) stainless steel bristle brush and cleaning off the mating surfaces (internal and external) of the collar and chimney liners before reassembly. It you can't get a reasonably smooth surface on the collar mating surfaces using the brush, use a machinist (mill bastard) file. Put anti-seizure compound (available at an auto parts store) on all the mating surfaces (including any screws that get fastened), then reassemble (or attach) the chimney. The anti-seizure compound is extremely messy so, wear gloves and have that trusty roll of paper towels standing by. The stainless steel chimney exterior can be shined up using fine grade steel wool. However, with all the dents, it's probably not worth the effort. I would imagine other narrowboat skippers have encountered the same stuck chimney problem so, it's likely other chimneys on the canal are in a similar dented condition. Anyway... I enjoyed your video, keep up the good work. Cheerio!

[@petesheppard1709]

That could be a children's story--you told it so well!

[@michelepaglia9603]

Strangely entertaining ! David you really are a wonderful story teller❤❤

[@CruisingTheCut]

Thank you kindly!

[@davidw1518]

Fully agree - a brilliant story teller!!

[@larrymallett7565]

Nice to see that I’m not the only one who gets very angry at inanimate objects and decides to punish them for being so uncooperative

[@martinmadden]

I love your ability to tell such a story with great humour and self-deprication.

[@f12mnb]

It was a good outlet for you. You are usually so understanding and calm, so periodically let your frustrations out in a safe way.

[@garybuller5656]

Man v chimney..a tale of derring-do, a story to stir the blood of every Englishman(or any man...or woman, worth their salt)...it had everything..tension, frustration, bitter resentment, a sad resignation, but then triumph was snatched from the jaws of disaster...gin and tonics all round, I say...😎

[@ericstanke3291]

Oh that summation was brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

[@chieromancer]

It's called percussive maintenance.

[@iainlyall6475]

you mean persuasion :-)

[@perhennung]

Dear David you are our favorite 24/7 poet seducing us with your lovely Shakespeare English! Thank you very much! Take care!

[@chrissayers7076]

I feel your pain David, I really do, I did wonder if hitting a bridge with it, the chimney would have come clean off with less damage, i have to confess, you had me in stitches, i was laughing my socks off, oh wait I didn't have any socks on, for a moment I was transported to the John clease sketch with him bashing a car with a tree branch, priceless, thank you indeed for sharing.

[@clairerusz2639]

Chris Sayers from the sound of it the bridge would have collapsed and the chimney would still be stuck in place 😂

[@SHC50Cville]

Great story, I was glued to the tube until the end. I did learn about getting a bigger hammer in my Air Force days when I was a mechanic!

[@danbev8542]

Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing with you! I think your chimney’s new look has Character. Thanks for your story!

[@rcs3030]

This is a wonderful yarn. But being from the U.S. I can't let this story go without a little help. The correct nomenclature for the second hammer is BFH !! I'll let you figure that one out.

[@gregdixon5848]

Finish the job off David. A hammered and buffed finish is all the rage these days

[@andre0baskin]

I spent almost ten minutes listening to you describe removing a stuck chimney, hanging on every word. Very good show.

[@michaelnoakes8566]

Great story share. Thanks for being real and being you. Every video you do is a pure treasure.

[@pttrent123]

How in the world can Santa go down that chimney? And are you sure didn't take a cricket bat to the chimney? Love the Incredibly Hulk comparison, so funny

[@tardauk]

Wonderful! This deserves more than "like". You are a brilliant story teller. But your poor chimney ...

[@littleme1969]

Well i just found my fanourite episode..Seriously 😂 😂.. glad you got it sorted in the end... but the thing that had me laughing at th end.. was when the grey boat came past... 2 guys on the back .. clearly trying to mind their own buisness.. like its tottaly normal to see a guy laid out on the top of his boat wearing slppers ..talking to himself while waving hammers😆 about. lol

[@CruisingTheCut]

🤣🤣🤣

[@incognitoatunknown2702]

We need more Story Times in the future. This is the most entertained I've been all day. As for the chimney, what it's lost in looks it now makes up for in character. 😁

[@scaletownmodels]

I hear ya brother. I can take just about anything and keep my cool but frustration is a killer. When something is frustrating, it's amazing how quickly you can go from zero to fecking.

[@alifetomake]

I had not laugh this much in 2020. You sir, get a new subscriber!

[@kevinwilson2872]

Try a light coating of copperslip a high temperature grease from any car parts shop

[@WardenWolf]

Also, the biggest mistake was having the chimney welded all the way down. Those welds he broke shouldn't have been there to begin with. Rather, it should have been secured to the flange with a metal hose clamp. That way he could just remove the hose clamp and the chimney will have enough flex to be easily removed.

[@UrbanHomesteadMomma]

This was my thought too!

[@fdsman]

A little bit of heat might have saved you all that hassle. Thermal expansion does wonders for removing stuck parts like that.

[@JohnnyMotel99]

exactly my thoughts

[@sailingvesperonthechesapea8111]

This is true. A bit of hand held propane torch on the sheet metal at the collar would had expanded the sheet metal fast then the cast metal collar. The chimney might of came off with ease then.

[@Falney]

I was just heading to the comments to say this. A dead blow hammer would be handy as well.

[@aabb55777]

Penetrating oil like pb blaster would loosen it.

[@grw707]

Nobody asked you

[@TheDenisedrake]

You Brits really know how to tell a story. Thank you!

[@Captain_Brian]

Sometimes you have to remind the boat that you still think your in charge!

[@bigfilsing]

So glad to see the age old principle of " if at first you don't succeed , get a bigger hammer" is as relevant today as ever!!

[@bigfilsing]

As an engineer I have the full range from toffee to sledge.

[@TheSpeartip]

Got my self stuck in the middle of Woodley tunnel my fist week on the cut.. had to bash the chimney in to realise it. On reversing out the tunnel finding out it was stuck in place as you described.. i then had to the saw 6inch off the top to get through the tunnel.. not an easy job.. after the damage was done with a significantly shorter crooked chimy I got through OK to find later when I put the tin hat back on the sawing off had loosened the bottom and it just popped off easy as that : ( boat life

[@stevelyons1101]

When you attach a new chimney, coat both adjoining surfaces with a non curing, high temperature silicone grease. CSL841 or equivalent. It's also moisture resistant, no melt, with lubricant qualities. It will alleviate any future epic battles with removing your friendly chimney pot.

[@SGTDuckButter]

Your vlog is the better than TV. Love it, can’t smile enough.

[@stevedavey26]

Thank you David. Just got home from a long day at work and put your vlog on and it made my day. Brilliant tale.

[@CruisingTheCut]

Great, thank you :-)

[@gailroberts7533]

This is the most hilarious vlog I’ve seen in a while 😂😂😂

[@CruisingTheCut]

😀😀

[@benhenson1592]

Hilarious. Basil Fawlty comes to mind..‘I’m going to give you a damn good thrashing’

[@dougwilliams1741]

Well told, relatable, and appreciated.

[@stigstiggson]

I've often wondered what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object! Thanks David 😊

[@jameshamre8778]

I absolutely loved your story time! So many common references we can all appreciate.

[@brianclark5498]

That's hilarious! It's amazing how the simplest job can make you rage the most!

[@paulandrews4551]

Your funniest vlog yet, all I could picture is John Cleese with the branch on his car , oh and you swearing who knew, thanks for making us laugh , stay safe

[@oldtimers6460]

And your Honor that's how the beating came about to the chimney by not complying to my wishes , Ipso , Facto it was the chimney's fault . When you get another chimney David show the old to the new and let it know that resistance is futile or it too will will get a damned good thrashing as well , or you could use and anti seize grease on the collar ! The grease would be cheaper in the long run and handy as well . Happy cruising David and put down the lump hammer ! 😨🚑

[@gaibutler3254]

Poor chimney.... it suffered a lot to provide us with a brilliant, action-packed tale! Well told Mr. Johns, well told.

[@jessicakellerart4268]

Thank you for the story and a laugh! I felt your frustration. Reminded me of a puzzle box with the gift inside that my uncle gave to me one Christmas. I never could get it open until I dropped it on the floor. Oops. I finished watching all four seasons on Prime and now I'm making my way through your episodes here on YT. A nice relaxing way to end the day. Thank you. :)

[@CruisingTheCut]

Thank you!

[@PhilipLeitch]

Just a thought. Manufactured coal/charcoal briquettes contain calcium carbonate to slow the burn and make the burn more even. I wonder whether particles went up the chimney and settled. Calcium carbonate mixed with water become very hard, depending on the heat it could be like a lime mortar. I'd be interested to know how common this is for other boaters. Also,.from Australia we eat Tim Tams and I'm sure you know that a "Tim Tam slam" is a very appropriate way to enjoy your posts.

[@garylabree1183]

Some automotive stores have a product called Never Seize. Loctite Silver Grade Anti-Seize Compound, is commonly used on fittings exposed to weather that need to be disassembled from time to time. The compound will keep the assembly clearance free of corrosion, and allow disassembly with little effort.

[@nothandmade9686]

We use that in aviation. Really works.

[@garyhaberfield]

LOL, Visions of Basil Fawlty giving his broken down Austin 1100 a "Damn good thrashing" come to mind.

[@thewebtutorguy]

Loved your ranting David. Only you can tell such story with such theatrical gusto. 😊👍

[@honda0105]

Hilarious! You can’t beat a bit of ‘percussion adjustment!’ 😁

[@darthbubba866]

Might I suggest high temperature black paint on the chimney to hide the evidence of your consternation until replacement? Just a thought. Cheers!

[@bobmason83]

Bit of high temp grease might work a treat too ?

[@TP-kz3ix]

Chimneys don't last forever I'm lucky if mine last a couple of years anyway , the one thing that I will say is that I do like that blue colour that you have put on the roof. It looks like a very nice job so well done 👍.

[@jordiribas2883]

It had to be that way, that unique David's way, with a careful beginning and an apocalyptic end. Very entertaining explanation in your great voice. Have you ever considered becoming a theatrical actor? I bet you would have some success. Anyway, please, keep on doing such funny and entertaining vlogs, they are a balsam in these days.

[@victorheinz809]

Hello from the USA and thank you for doing your stories. As of late it has been the one thing I look forward too watching daily

[@mollysmomndad2]

You are so funny! I get a picture in my mind of you on the roof "gently" tapping away to free the chimney from its bonds. Not to worry...who could really HATE you, David??? Not me! We really enjoy your vlog. We have been subscribers almost since the beginning.

[@davemccabe7040]

As the Romans said: "If the bolt won't turn, use a bigger hammer." And if it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway. Peace.

[@jp3d2k]

It's got that rustic distressed look now. Someone would probably pay extra for it like that.

[@swaghauler8334]

Definitely a thing in America today.

[@johnburgess5534]

One small tap for man, one giant dent for chimney. ,!!!

[@drscopeify]

The way you tell the story is fantastic. Thank you so much for sharing these experiences, always a pleasure.

[@elizabethatkinson968]

Who could hate you David! Few of us would have reacted differently. Great storytelling.

[@CruisingTheCut]

Thank you