Crusades be like

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#crusades #history #memes

[@MasterofRoflness]

This video legit killed my channel Consider supporting me on Patreon if you enjoy this type of content: www.patreon.com/masterofroflness Discord: discord.gg/g2A92uCz6N My Twitch: www.twitch.tv/masterofroflness

[@madtechnocrat9234]

Not enough Teutonic order, do that next.

[@demakkervannassau171]

Wdym killed your channel

[@Luathem]

Teutonic

[@epicarcher999]

@@demakkervannassau171 he took 3 weeks off from making content to edit this

[@thenoblepoptart]

This video saved your channel

[@imstupid880]

Largest Crusader Massacre: 77,000 civilians killed Smallest Chinese Victory: 100,000 civilians eaten

[@engso.arthur]

@crazy cat Decisive Tang Victory

[@SpartanChief2277]

Decisive Maori Victory: Entire ethnic group eatan (Moriori)

[@marxussy]

​@@SpartanChief2277 what in wikipedia hyperlink is that

[@SpartanChief2277]

@@marxussy maori's ate morori's when the colonized their island

[@SpartanChief2277]

@@marxussy maori's ate morori's when the colonized their island

[@immortalwarrior2695]

Man, real life lore is something else. My mind can't process it

[@notlucas6859]

lmao real life lore

[@POTUSJimmyCarter]

Imagine being some poor farmer living a few miles east of Acre, and from the moment you're born, it just feels like EVERY CULTURE ON EARTH has decided they were going to show up and fight to the death pretty much in your front yard. People you didn't even know existed. At some point it starts to feel like if the Aztecs and the Japanese showed up and started duking it out it wouldn't have felt all that out of place for the locals, just more weird foreigners who hate each other and also us for some reason.

[@maxwellsharp2918]

@@POTUSJimmyCarter To be fair I believe that still the Levant to this day. Great comment to read while I smoke weed though. Trippy thoughts maaaaaaan. Lmao

[@cr0sad3r70]

Reality is stranger than fiction

[@isiaharellano3789]

Real life is basically GoT. Everyone's an asswipe

[@rhyejam]

The amount of pausing and unpausing I did while watching this has caused my spacebar to break as easily as Raymond of Tripoli's morale

[@xmen123ist]

Thankfully, my meager ~350 hours of CK2 so far have trained me well in the spacebar arts.

[@thegamingwolf5612]

@@xmen123ist play ck3

[@sergiowinter5383]

@@thegamingwolf5612 CK2 is free, CK3 isn't

[@ashishhembrom3905]

You could just......slow down the video

[@AbdulRehman-tl1vi]

@@xmen123ist Ah, it seems I have an opponent! Our battle shall be legendary! (I have 400 hours of EU4)

[@lordmoncef5494]

No matter how crazy and convulted some stories are It s nowhere as chaotic as real life history

[@legodude0]

Thats because in fiction, things have to make sense.

[@alexeibolavik1072]

@@legodude0 Ironically Warhammer lore is the most like Real life lore. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes it's fucking perfect, and it's overall confusing.

[@Reignor99]

@@alexeibolavik1072 "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass that you call a "temple" will wither, and you'll beg my kind to save you... but I am already saved, for the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Bezossiah" -Amazon Alexa

[@MrRawrCEO]

@@alexeibolavik1072 Ehhhhhhhh...If we're talking about ACTUAL history there's far too many logical leaps and inconsistencies. Now if you were talking about RECORDED history which gets embellished and messed with all the time then absolutely.

[@BigBrotherMateyka]

It's only years, even centuries later, some semblance of sense is consigned to the history books.

[@Justjustinp]

Every crusade be like: - the Byzantine Empire asks for help. - The Pope gives a rousing speech. - 200,000 zealous crusaders march to the holy land, shocking the pope who has an Oppenheimer moment about what he just unleashed. - The Jews accidentally get genocided along the way. - The Crusaders ask “are we there yet?” and accidentally sack Constantinople. - The Byzantine Emperor: “bruh” - The Seljuks slaughter 90% of the crusader army. - The army sieges some cities and lose another 90% to starvation. - Gigachad crusader leaders arise who defeat armies of 10,000 Muslims with their 700 knights. Their strategies are completely ignored by the French who ruin everything. - They are stopped by gigachad Muslim leaders who then die. - The Muslim caliphates are too busy infighting to stop the crusaders. The crusaders are too busy infighting to expand their states. - Thousands of innocent civilians die. - Venice and Genoa profit. - Repeat

[@matheusexpedito4577]

Gotta sell those weapons and armour

[@JOJO-kh9ck]

It's like a poem...

[@raptorskilltor4554]

When you finally realized how war hammer feels more accurate to history than whatever they taught in highschool

[@starmaker75]

Real life history is warhammer but instead of fanasty being, it replaced by impluse and more madness

[@mattiaslime8926]

In these wars the europeans were the chaos marauders. Many of wich followers of khorne

[@darthralin]

@@mattiaslime8926 Now, to be fair to them, who among us doesn't feel like chanting "Kill! Maim! Burn!" from time to time.

[@tefky7964]

I can imagine HRE soldiers shout ,,For the emperor! Burn in holy fire!".

[@archaean2331]

@@tefky7964 That would quite literally be the Byzantines with their medieval napalm.

[@pablo_giustiniani]

My man summarized the crusades in four minutes with nothing but wikipedia extracts and memes. Respect

[@daddy_1453]

Best moment: "King of France is enraged and launches Crusade" *5 minutes later* "King of France is captured"

[@Freedmoon44]

Then he goes in for another round because whats more baddass than one failed crusade? 2 failed crusade forcing the rest of the army to sacrifice countless lives to save your corpse

[@cattysplat]

@@Freedmoon44 Cruise for a corpse.

[@andrespadilla2723]

The Crusades are like a movie series whose first trilogy was alright but then the producers went nuts.

[@Saicofake]

If there was a jump the shark moment, the fourth crusade would have been the moment.

[@hussain6469]

The first and third crusade are cinamatic masterpieces while the fourth crusade is the Jaws IV of the crusade universe

[@Adri9570]

Star Wars newer trilogy: ...why are you looking at me?

[@gengarzilla1685]

The second trilogy of crusades is better than the Star Wars sequel trilogy, entirely thanks to the diplomatic success of the Sixth Crusade. By comparison, none of the Star Wars sequel films were good.

[@veryveryoldacccc75775]

sharknado

[@starmaker75]

The 4th crusade: the friendly fire incident

[@heinzlilio4612]

We did it Pope Innocent! We saved Byzantium *Screams of Constantinopolitan citizens being massacred and churches looted by the Crusaders*

[@Makem12]

Intentional friendly fire

[@BlazingFlame69]

Sad Roman noises.

[@josegallardo4119]

"We fucked up a little bit"

[@Muramasa1794]

Top ten anime betrayals against the Romans

[@aptspire]

Baldwin and Saladin were simply too based for us mortals

[@skan6851]

Sigmas.

[@BruceWayne-fj9bm]

Nah because Saladin believed in a false religion.

[@altithoraxperotorum5133]

Baldwin was the only mercenary on the Cristian side who had some sanity left

[@Gabriel-jd1bk]

@@altithoraxperotorum5133 You're talking shit, the crusades had many ups and downs, many names of virtue and many names of shame, both on the Christian and Islamic sides. Saladin is not even close to being the honorable man they portray him to be, he enslaved his prisoners (women and children), ordered the killing of all unarmed templars, even though he had some virtuous attitudes, Saladin was also a tyrant. Like Lionheart, he had several dubious attitudes, but Baldwin is the only one who comes close to unshakable virtue, clearly given his early age and struggle with leprosy.

[@hydraaprillio3471]

@@Gabriel-jd1bk that's because saladin practising machiavellianism. in those time muslim want powerful leader to be trusted and to unifiy them, he don't hesitate doing that. aside on war he success to make egypt that from mess become lively nation. unlike powerful general like richard (heck crusader online praising him just because he mostly won at war yet totally idiot to manage his own land) or baldwin IV with his "overly kindness", saladin doing necesarry evil to give example to his enemies

[@ScorpoYT]

Bro just explained the entire history of the middle ages💀

[@dodderythedromedary6890]

Love your vids.

[@ulqinaku8471]

Hate your video

[@robinrehlinghaus1944]

no.

[@macewindu4070]

@@robinrehlinghaus1944 ratio

[@macewindu4070]

@@robinrehlinghaus1944 stack ratio

[@anerrorhasoccurred8727]

“People nowadays are so aggressive and rude, we’re living in the worst era” History:

[@iknow007]

Present era is worse cause "politics"✨

[@TheVideoIsLongEnough]

​@@iknow007nah political arguments online don't hold a candle to ancient wars. You don't have leftists and conservatives cannibalizing each other or mass raping each other in the streets while shits on fire. Definitely not worse

[@cattysplat]

We still fight and go to war for dumb reasons.

[@TheVideoIsLongEnough]

@@GigachadicusMaximus says the guy who's history education comes from hoi4 and 4chan

[@Emperor_Marcellus]

@@TheVideoIsLongEnough Dude, at least make a better argument than spouting random shit.

[@69camiloo]

Mercenaries business in the crusades: S T O N K S📈

[@Take-aim-and-reload...]

*Weapon-selling merchants:* _"What are ya buyin'?"_ _"Heheheheh! Thank you!"_

[@mattiaslime8926]

Italians merchants: ultra stonk

[@drekbleh7081]

Pope: "Did anyone even try to get the holy lands? Excommunicated. All of you. No penance. Give your excuses to Satan cause I ain't hearin them!"

[@konstantinriumin2657]

The demand for PMCs is about to skyrocket... Just like good old days after first crusade!

[@Ren21798]

money money money

[@mattiaslime8926]

Baldwin might have been one of the few people on the christians/mercenaries side to not have been completly insane

[@captaincrusader]

Basically both sides are batshit insane

[@marshalljohnson6976]

Well technically you can say he's a secular or in other words he's thinking outside of the box. Which is an irony because that means he's the only king of Jerusalem that truly follow Lord's commandments; "Love thy neighbor as thyself", while literally everyone else goes full Old Testament mode.

[@robertspeedwagon982]

Everyone was completely batshit insane during the Crusades, that's why it's on the most interesting historical period

[@themsky8905]

@@robertspeedwagon982 Yeah ngl, as a muslim reading about crusades made me realize how crazy it was🤣

[@porygon4023]

Saladin and Richard the Lionheart were pretty alright too

[@pedrojuan8050]

Frederick I's death was the equivalent of losing the Internet connection before the match starts.

[@HolyknightVader999]

After buying all the good gear that would've allowed the player to dominate the match.

[@JakeBaldwin1]

When I was playing Med 2 total war I was told 100,000 Germans were coming to help me fight the muslims. Two turns later...💢

[@keltonschleyer6367]

The fact that millions slaughtered each other while their leaders were at home randomly dying of mild maladies is grand irony.

[@abdurrahmanmohammad4983]

To be fair, Frederick Barbarossa drowned on the way to the campaign, and Salah-al-din died shortly after securing Jerusalem and weakening the crusader states one final time (it is widely believed that years of high stress command led to his death.)

[@Jin-1337]

The commendable Kings would be with their armies in the front while the cowardly ones would stay behind in their castles

[@Jakov-or7fp]

Kings at the time went to war with their soldiers

[@hackr6751]

2:40 you left out the part about the guy who negotiated for Jerusalem being DOUBLE-EXCOMMUNICATED at the time.

[@mrscoldarrow]

Frederick II was an absolute fucking Chad

[@hackr6751]

@@mrscoldarrow b i r b k i n g

[@ChevyChase301]

@@mrscoldarrow stupendous chadus

[@ChevyChase301]

@@hackr6751 signed up to be batu khans falconer but his resume was rejected

[@tristanbeer1257]

I'm sorry but how in the fuck do you get DOUBLE-EXCOMMUNICATED

[@starmaker75]

European and Rome: the holy land is Christian The Arabs and Egyptians: the holy lands is Islamic European and Rome: Christian The Arabs and Egyptians: Islamic The Jews: it was original Jewish The mongols out of nowhere : It actually Buddhist and shamism

[@mustafahussain2118]

The truth is the land was always Albanian

[@Darraya55]

@@mustafahussain2118 but was Albania always Albanian?

[@zosasho8036]

@@Darraya55 Fool, Albania is first people on earth, adam and eve are Albanian

[@No-mn9do]

wasn't mongol religion tengrism?

[@II-ug8ji]

@@No-mn9do yes, they are talking about today's modern belief.

[@DelmaSombilon-rp2ei]

Baldwin and Saladin dealing with it like Gents, and their preceding men acting like quarrelling siblings fighting over some Mcnuggets

[@matheusexpedito4577]

Least chaotic history moment in history:

[@nenenindonu]

Crusaders in the Baltics and Iberia ; 🦖 Crusaders in the Middle East and Bohemia ; 🐓

[@Letnistonwandif]

Thats not true.

[@Letnistonwandif]

Also considering that the Muslim states and the pagans were literally at they're, borders and not thousands of km away like jerusalem, and taking also in count that the crusaders were much more accustomed to fight in cold and mountainous/forested terrain and not fk deserts it is no surprise that they were less succefull

[@thecrow9820]

@@Letnistonwandif You cannot deny that terrain isn't the only factor that made crusaders lose, you can count military leadership and strategy of muslims

[@lvateinn8258]

@@Letnistonwandif Twas God’s will.

[@aman-hl9re]

Wait whats happen in Bohemia?

[@ChevyChase301]

6th crusade was a certified sugma moment

[@BlazingFlame69]

And 4th crusade was a certified beta male moment.

[@kailiciousthumbsup]

Smegma male

[@dadddy_6940]

@@kailiciousthumbsup nope he means sugma

[@JamesEdward891]

@@dadddy_6940 sugma balls

[@akhmadkautsarak]

@@dadddy_6940 and this guy meant smegma

[@sentel140]

the sheer amount of times Jerusalem has been invaded is just incredible

[@rahulverma8774]

Yeah I thought india was invaded most number of times But invasion in jerusalem or its surrounding areas seem like a normal day Its ironic that many other historical cities are gone ages ago but jerusalem still stands tall Its still a reason for conflict though

[@googane7755]

@@rahulverma8774 Because Jerusalem is still an important holy site for all Christians, Muslims and Jews. No matter how many times it has invaded, sieged or levelled it will always maintain a permanent population.

[@AbdullahKhawar262]

​@@googane7755 what a wonderful city it is

[@benedictcherlet8583]

Been invaded more then 5 dollar hooker

[@JOJO-kh9ck]

Yeah...I also wonder like how people lived there knowing there could be an invasion any minute....

[@papazataklaattiranimam]

Baibars ( 1260-77 ) proved himself to be a formidable adversary , unleashing the full force of his military genius on the Crusaders . By the end of his rule he had driven them from Antioch , Krak des Chevaliers and Safita .

[@ertegi64366]

this guy's name is "imam who made the priest somersault" don't trust him LMAO xd.

[@danhobart4009]

Satan smiling in the corner as his children butcher each other.

[@Ren21798]

BAIBAR : I USE MONGOL TO DESTROY OTHER MONGOL AND HOPITALER AND CRUSADER AND ASSASIN

[@lordshang8838]

BaiBars Took on the Mongols, The Franks were just a side project for him.

[@girayhankaya]

baibars routed mongols too, sigma male

[@thedeltaagent6678]

Surprised you didn’t cover the absolute meme that was the children’s crusade. Might’ve missed it if you showed it briefly given that an eye blink misses 3 hours of editing lol.

[@mattiaslime8926]

Oh god . At that point the crusade were nothing more than expensive war tourism

[@Letnistonwandif]

Historians are not sure if it happened in reality or not.

[@tylerellis9097]

Because it’s not real and is a later embellished account and mixing of separate tales

[@thedeltaagent6678]

@@tylerellis9097 To be fair so is Baldwin IV wearing a mask. You’re right, it was almost certainly an embellishment that’s a combination of social events and real accounts of boys being sold into slavery at Tunis rather than a boys march to the Holy Land, but it gets talked about it enough that I was just surprised that it didn’t get a passing mention in this meme video for the absurdity of the concept.

[@Nathan-pw9nl]

Yeah if true that shit was an absolute bruh moment

[@dang.d.2936]

Still askin' myself if I should show this at the bachelor exam. Besides that, amazing editing as always.

[@gamedevyoutube3.030]

let us know brother.

[@vr3824]

just dont memes dont belong into a thesis anyways gl my friend

[@mrdre3628]

Memes 100% belong in a thesis as long as they are relevant, add to the thesis, and are properly cited.

[@hubertino855]

Crasades where absolute BRUH moment from all sides involved😂

[@sergiowinter5383]

Like a lot of movies and games, the first one was good the rest was just cow milking

[@wadejg_blaze0n213]

and like most series, the fourth was the most controversial

[@brianwashedhunter1150]

@@sergiowinter5383 Good according to who.??! The natives with everyday lives of the killers who went their for genocide As a Muslim I thank the crusades because of them the middle east is a majority Muslims and will always be Would you say the same thing about the ottomans of they slayed European cities every few years?? Like if they entered Greek and slayed 70k in 4 cities so about 300k citizens? No because you are a hypocrite

[@matheusexpedito4577]

​@@sergiowinter5383yes

[@waffle6376]

With the rest getting worser and worser

[@vivechjorviani5440]

Baldwin single handedly fighting off a crusade, drought, and leprosy

[@fishyfish6510]

At 16 !

[@matheusexpedito4577]

Bro maxed his stats

[@helast3916]

Virgin middle east crusades: -destroyed Constantinople -most soldiers were already starving after landing -almost always a failure Chad northern crusades: -created prussia and polish-lithuania commonwealth -actually successful -sick looking teutonic armors

[@genghiskhan5701]

Thad Iberian Reconquista -Created the Spanish and Portuguese Empire -Divided the world among themselves -Converted millions to Catholicism in the Americas and Philippines, making it the largest religion in the wolrd

[@ahmeteminerdogan9266]

Sad fact: Teutonic knights didn't have horns on their helmets.

[@zxylo786]

Destroying Constantinople is basically the only good thing the crusades brought

[@alexeibolavik1072]

@@ahmeteminerdogan9266 They didn't but they did have those wing things on their heads.

[@alexeibolavik1072]

Teutonic Knights are the true Knights of God easily up there with King Baldwin.

[@Godzillafan78]

The Mongols were the most random ones 💀

[@Zogerpogger]

I love the pure chaos of these videos, the seizure inducing pacing of clips and vortex of audio creates a hilarious atmosphere. I also like the use of video game soundtracks (Medieval II).

[@eges72]

The West: We're going to launch another Crusade. Byzantium: To Jerusalem, right? The West: ... Byzantium: To Jerusalem... ...right?

[@dualia-s74m]

4th crusade in a nutshell

[@professionalnoob5474]

"King we completed the siege" "good how many casualties we took" "1" *"eat everyone"*

[@Oodelally]

While Richard I ended the siege of Acre in the Third Crusade, that was only possible due to Philip Augustus’ engineering genius: the construction of trebuchets as well as him ordering the Franks to fill the moats with their corpses.

[@maddogbasil]

*" I A M THE ANTI-CRUSADER"* ----Baibairs

[@arturvasques3376]

Not yet

[@nenenindonu]

Baibars gave them Crusaders a good *arse* beat

[@Letnistonwandif]

Nah, Richard the lionheart was better.

[@papazataklaattiranimam]

@@Letnistonwandif do even anybody take you or your comments serious😂😂😂

[@Letnistonwandif]

@@papazataklaattiranimam Mate you are literally in every history video talking about how great the Turks are, you are literally insane. So pls do not write to me about seriousness.

[@shahriarnafsi9418]

@@Letnistonwandif Richar was a fool like the other christian military😂😂😂😂😂

[@barrettvonwulfmann5281]

@@Letnistonwandif Saladin sent his physicians to treat Richard when he was ill, and if it weren't for them, Richard would've died and you would never continue making brazen comments such as these. Remember, 700 years.

[@josephnugent3065]

I really want a black comedy about the Second Crusade featuring Aubrey Plaza as Elanor of Aqutaine, and Jack Black as Holy Roman Emperor Conrad III.

[@sonofthebearking3335]

Holy... YES, SO MUCH YES.

[@outrageddeer2101]

Done by the guy who directed death of stalin

[@josephnugent3065]

@@outrageddeer2101 Hell Yea!!!

[@robinrehlinghaus1944]

XDDD That'd be gold

[@followingtheroe1952]

@@outrageddeer2101 lmaoo the crusades with that shakycam mockumentary style of direction lmao

[@WelcomeToDERPLAND]

The fourth one still hurts to this day.

[@Letnistonwandif]

It didn't happen, but they deserved it.

[@Ren21798]

my man forget to turn off friendly fire

[@outrageddeer2101]

Should have paid them like what did you expect.

[@Ren21798]

@@outrageddeer2101 dude they paid well,get alot of land, money from cities they sacked, and no taxes. crusaders are filthy rich

[@MedievalAngryDude]

Sweet byzantiboos tears

[@The_Corporal]

Crusaders: Anatolia and Jerusalem are Christian lands Seljuks and Ayyubids: It was a long time ago Bro

[@Letnistonwandif]

Holy roman emperor fk them hard in the third crusade tho.

[@HolyknightVader999]

Mongols: Hi

[@asdfghjk-xh9jl]

@@HolyknightVader999Mongols 20 years later: “Bye 🫠”

[@zhyar313]

​@@HolyknightVader999baibars: didn't someone said hi?

[@luki7614]

Jerussalem: peacefully exist Abrahamic believers: *WE MUST CONQUER HOLY LAND*

[@HanifAbdurrahman]

Ah yes, three of us is always want that Holy Land

[@HolyknightVader999]

Without the Abrahamic believers, there was no Jerusalem. It's literally a Jewish world meaning new peace.

[@archsteel7]

Aww, no "Children's Crusade?" That's one of the biggest memes of the lot. And every Crusade is an embarassing memefest.

[@rizzllerr]

What about the first one?

[@archsteel7]

@@rizzllerr Which first one, the Peasant's Crusade or Bohemond's Bizarre Adventure? Because between the Peasant's Crusade failing so miserably that the one that came after it was completely underestimated and able to make a lot of progress without resistance because it was assumed regional governance could easily handle them, and the comedy cannibalism of Bohemond's Bizarre Adventure, both are pretty big memes.

[@ANDREALEONE95]

In short: -Crusaders took over and lost Holy Land a fuckton of times - Internal struggles - Crusader and Arab leaders died for reasons - Arab beat the shit out each other when the threat cease - S I E G E S - Mongols casual raids - Constantinople turned into a punching bag

[@gokhanguneysu3419]

They were Turks not Arabs! Fought like Turks, spoke Kipchak Turkish mainly and recruited soldiers like real Turks :) bought them as slaves or enslaved the incoming boyzz themselves! Selahaddin, Baybars, Ayyubids and Mamelukes all spoke Turkish. Selahaddin had Kurdish origins personally btw.

[@gamalsaad1545]

Selahaddin and the Ayyubids were kurdish in origin and they sopke Arabic , mamuluks were turkish and slavs slaves but spoke arabic the language of the area they lived in

[@fromokesar0]

I love how at 1:02 Nur ad-Din yeets the Franks across the entire room, pretty historically accurate as after his grand entrance into the game of musical chairs, the Franks couldn’t afford another big fuckup like the siege of Aleppo in 1125 and Damascus Crusade of 1129, but it inevitably happened in the form of the Battle of Inab, where Nur ad-Din annihilates an allied force of the Principality of Antioch and the Assassins, but nothing would benefit Nur ad-Din more than the failure of the Second Crusade, as he was able to do what the Franks couldn’t, take control of Damascus and thus furthering his ambition to surround Outremer on all fronts, something which his successor Saladin was able to do with the addition of Egypt.

[@NucleaRaptor]

>allied force of ... the Assassins waitwhat

[@bestpriest2224]

Oh my god Crusaders had no chill.

[@WelloBello]

Except Emperor Henry, he fell ill with chills. 😔

[@The-su4pj]

Exept the 6th crusade

[@jackal25301]

They lost lmao😂

[@olekcholewa8171]

​@@jackal25301Lmao 1900's all middle east was controlled by Europeans cry abdool

[@Hiroakiarai88]

​@@olekcholewa8171 one word, immigrants. Gave women rights and now they dont wanna have children. The next age is gonna be again forced away from europe. How saddening

[@Snp2024]

Somehow every capable king or ruler died not in war but for 100 other reasons

[@POTUSJimmyCarter]

"RUN THEM THROUGH!!!" "EAT...STEEL!" "this device requires SKILLED engiNEERS, miLORD" Man, those voice lines were a fucking nostalgia hit I wasn't expecting

[@broeretop1]

"Wood Needed" Damn I love the old Stronghold games ❤️

[@HanifAbdurrahman]

@@broeretop1 Yep, not like the new one

[@sandwichdepescado6442]

Stronghold crusader 2 is my favourite

[@shranoscryptinity8190]

this armor's heavy

[@HolyknightVader999]

I'm calling it now: the Crusades are just the Western version of those interesting Chinese history bits. Cannibalism, massacres, great religious upheavals, you can even compare the Yellow Turban and Red Turban Rebellions to the Crusades, and they fight on behalf of the literal Son of Heaven. So if the shoe fits, it fits.

[@KriegCommisar]

Hell the taiping rebellion thats kinda the main source of the “minor chinese peasant revolt” ending in 30 million deaths meme was literally a hyper fundamentalist “christian” cult”

[@HolyknightVader999]

@@KriegCommisar Not really Christian, since most of the rebels didn't believe in the dude and just wanted an excuse to kill Manchus. Most of the Taiping army comes from ethnic Han Chinese who were probably Buddhist/Taoist/Confucian and joined up with a funny-looking guy who told them it's time to overthrow the Manchu devils. But I see where you're coming from.

[@waltuh11121]

3:40 best *"AUUUUUGHH"* I've ever heard

[@Onezy05]

The Fourth Crusade was the biggest plot twist in history

[@thenoblepoptart]

This will go down as one of the best KZbin videos

[@a_random_W]

first crusade : wow this actually works second crusade : lets do that again *fails* third crusade : we will do better this time *fails* fourth crusade : this is not that bad fifth crusade : look its getting better (kinda) sixth crusade : no action we skip barons crusade : ITS A FREE FOR ALL!!! **peace* . we've been tricked we've been backstabbed and quire possibly bamboozled seventh crusade : boo. louis IX got captured **war end* **A lot of fighting and gigachad moment later* eight crusade : oh shit here we go again **nothing happen* . louis IX : proceed to die ninth crusade : another free for all tenth crusade : **fails* NO MORE CRUSADE

[@arda213]

Dont forget Crusade of 1101. I dont know why it is named like a spin off.

[@ekremgunduz5503]

"crusaders finding a innocent infidel family" *watermelon eatin*

[@galuh.mp4620]

i love the stronghold crusader sound effects

[@a.r.tivadar]

Baldwin IV? More like Baldwin GOAT

[@peturch.2656]

The Stronghold sounds are just perfect.

[@HanifAbdurrahman]

And that _Command an Conquer: Generals_ music too

[@blitzowl666]

When He said "Deus Vult" i cried

[@kailiciousthumbsup]

When he said deus vult i shit and pissed in his mouth yo silence him

[@papazataklaattiranimam]

One of the most impressive portraits is that of Nur-ad-Din, emir of Aleppo and Damascus. William credited him with foresight and circumspec tion, with wisdom and restraint in his judgment, and with prudence. He con sidered Nur-ad-Din to be a just, godfearing, religious, and hence happy, blessed man (justus, timens Deum, religiosus, felix). These traits, comple mented by intelligence, imaginativeness and vigor, qualified him as both an excellent leader of the Muslims and a dangerous opponent of the Christians. William was very much aware of this discrepancy. However, he did not pres ent the two sides separately; rather, he integrated these qualities in a rounded portrait. Thus, in what amounts to an obituary, William noted on the death of the prince: "Nur-ad-Din (is dead), the greatest persecutor of the Christian name and faith, yet a just, shrewd and provident man, and religious accord ing to his people's tradition." It seems to me that William of Tyre has thus acknowledged the Muslim leader as a religious person. One is reminded of St. Peter's speech in the house of the Roman centurion Cornelius in Cae sarea, who is said in the Acts to be a vir religiosus, timens Deum (Acts, 10:2) and justus (Acts, 10:22): "But in every nation he that fears him, and works righteousness, is accepted with him" (Acts, 10:35)". This idea has not ex actly had a great influence on the Christian's external relationships. It is all the more remarkable to find one of its advocates on the scene during the Crusades. Some of his battle victories: Siege of Edessa (1146) Fall of Turbessel Battle of Harim Battle of Lake Huleh (1157) Battle of Inab Battle of Aintab First Crusader invasion, 1163 Second Crusader invasion, 1164

[@potatosalad9085]

nur ad din has circumsicion??

[@divinesleeper]

all generals do this though, they hype up their opponents to sweeten their victory or take the sting out of defeat

[@anisatajy9445]

@@divinesleeper he hyped up his virtuous qualities, would you feel elated defeating a man praised as just and good?

[@buddycharley2413]

truly a work of art

[@BobBobby-ji4nm]

Crazy that crusader only won 2 crusade out of the 9

[@fakegun7728]

Modern african history be like: -Gain hastily prepared non-organized independence from the British, who designed your country to be a perfect square - Transfer from the colony of Albertcumland to the republic of Deepanalia. - Fifteen thousand separatists pop up. - Gigaachadle, a former independence activist, gains power , reunites the country and raises living standards. - Is slightly socialist - Gets couped by General Soyboiyan, who is a CIA-backed puppet - He commits a genocide against the british-favoured former president's tribe, the pissincumyans - He starts a reign of terror i which he eats babies - He dies after a child slave catches him lacking - The northen muslim population erupts in jihad - The Us intervenes - The insuing civilwar is still being profited of by mining companies

[@cattysplat]

Africans: Living fine with shamanistic culture. Christians and Muslims: "and I took that personally." Converts entire continent, the north to Islam and the south to Christianity, causing perpetual religious war and genocide forevermore.

[@papazataklaattiranimam]

Nur chad-Din Zengi

[@someguysomeone3543]

Best and most hilarious video you've made so far.

[@Nathan-pw9nl]

Its hilarious how there were perfect memes for every single one of the gruesome events that happened during this period lmao.

[@GustavoSilva-ny8jc]

Baldwin appear to have been such a badass

[@MD0K]

This is a master piece in sensory overload

[@kaneslives]

Ottomans: Wait why are you guys fighting each other!? Byzantines: I DON’T KNOW!!!!

[@cattysplat]

"my brand of Christianity is better than yours!"

[@gilgamesh4710]

we barely even tapped into the meme potential of crusades and jihads

[@lechanoine9372]

Only 200 years, and yet such a wild time.

[@matheusexpedito4577]

200 years of funkyness, shenanigans and batshit insane people

[@yavuzkhan7369]

thanks for the stronghold crusader quotes and visuals. it makes me smile. great game :)

[@save-scum]

this is how social studies will be taught in 20 years.

[@emperoramp9305]

i am so happy i stumbled upon this golden channel

[@drekbleh7081]

Muslims: "We don't eat pork" Crusaders: "Then why do you taste like pork?" Muslims: "...what tHE F*CK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

[@HanifAbdurrahman]

So the Crusaders has eated Muslims body so they know how it taste ?

[@arickbeaird1514]

this vide is the best whenever I have had bad day I just watch the video and am happy again

[@porygon4023]

You really outdid yourself with this one man. Nice work

[@ItsRyanHello]

The command and conquer background music is the cherry on top for this video tbh

[@seadkolasinac7220]

this is a masterpiece. Imagine showing this to people at the time.

[@RKNGL]

It'd be rather incoherent to anyone no really privy to internet meme culture let alone a medieval peasant or an ancient stab happy zealot.

[@karimghazal1531]

This video would be incomplete without stronghold crusader

[@BananaSundae82]

0:38 bro the sonic adventure 2 live and learn song got me rolling there 😅

[@Ivan-vn1pd]

The lack of mention of the baltic crusades are disturbing *teutonic knights interbally*

[@heinzlilio4612]

The Pope sending the entire Christian population to Crusades over some holy city in the Middle East: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make

[@zxylo786]

It is not "some holy city". Those cities had treasures that Catholics, Orthodox, Muslims and Jewish people want. Its basically the birth place of modern religions.

[@arya31ful]

"Welcom to Holy Land gentlemen!. I will not lie, but the chances of your survival are small. Some of you mylight even turn against your friend because of hunger. But you have my word that i will use my divinely-gifted authority to ensure that your souls given straight into Garden of Eden. This is the greatest reward, more than even gold, for the fate of your soul is an eternal concern. Now come, follow me!. Strike down the heathens that have risen against Our Lord, allow us to reclaim His Holy Land. I ask not for my own personal glory, but for the good of the whole Christianity."

[@lvateinn8258]

“Some”

[@halilibrahimkzlhan2061]

@@zxylo786 not just modern

[@zxylo786]

@@halilibrahimkzlhan2061 With "modern" I want to say anything post christ. Religions were basically all over the place before him.

[@aymanelkadouri8235]

Human stubbornness is the most amazing thing in the world honestly

[@papazataklaattiranimam]

Almost All Crusader states got destroyed by Turks County of Edessa->Nuraddin Zangi County of Antioch->Baibars County of Jaffa and Ascalon->Baibars Lordship of Sidon->Baibars County of Tripoli->Al Mansur Qalawun Lordship of Tyre->Al Ashraf Khalil Kingdom of Jerusalem->Al Ashraf Khalil Duchy of Athens-> Turahanoğlu Ömer Bey Duchy of the Archipelago-> Selim II

[@Letnistonwandif]

And there you go the Turkic supremacist in the comments. The mamluks were not Turkic, in fact they were mostly circassians since most of the slaves were brought from the Caucasus. There were some Turkic slaves (mostly woman) but that doesn't make the mamluks Turkic by any means.

[@3381-c5v]

@@Letnistonwandif Originally the Mamluks were slaves of Turkic origin from the Eurasian Steppe, Baibar being one of them... they became circassian later on with turkic elements still present especially militarily.

[@mariano98ify]

Least nationalistic roachturk.

[@solaurelian7638]

at least we are not cockroaches

[@simulacrumpilot2777]

@@solaurelian7638 True, you weren't. You were slaves of cockroaches. Lmao

[@followingtheroe1952]

Nice of you to post the ck2 sounds you use for everyone who would want it for... research purposes

[@thatguynoonelikes4865]

truly one of the moments in world history

[@chidoman1595]

Baldwin IV = 🐐

[@StockImagesVoid]

Egypt after finally defeating the Crusaders: Alright, Lets have a civil war.

[@the_weal_mawa]

Louis IX of France sent a letter to Sultan Salih Ayyub saying: "My men will be sent to you with SWORDS OF DEATH." Also Louis IX: *Gets captured in 7th crusade and dies in the 8th.*

[@habibainunsyifaf6463]

Remember folks, fiction must be grounded to reality but reality doesnt give a shit to the ground and sometimes defies physics.

[@jaydensouth4502]

Bladwin is a chad

[@arthur4999]

Fourth Crusade, worst crime against humanity

[@flutee6162]

Nur ad-Din: It's so sad steve jobs died of ligma crusaders: who the hell is steve jobs? Nur ad-Din: Ligma balls 1:02 The local Christian population: NOOOOOOO

[@billylukito5522]

tldr: all 7 crusades end in facepalm for all beligerent.

[@The_Humbugg]

All of this and Jerusalem got third partied…

[@twiliblade]

Back to the founders. The house always wins

[@mirzahamzabaig5667]

@@twiliblade The Canaanites don't have it though..

[@Jakov-or7fp]

​@@mirzahamzabaig5667Jerusalem was Made after the Caananites.

[@Truethh]

Muslims empires try not to fall into a civil war challenge: Level (Impossible)

[@makutas-v261]

Baldwin, Louis 9 and Richard, the great heroes of the whole thing.

[@LeI8400]

Forgot Salahdin and Baibar

[@kevin8712]

The Reconquista, Holy Leagues, Crusades against Christian heretics and northern pagans: *Are we a joke to you?*

[@theuniverse5173]

Nobody likes to talk about the crusader W ngl

[@sanjak689]

Not significant. Most pagans converted on their own

[@YOU-ot9ep]

​@@sanjak689 nice joke

[@Freefrost]

@@sanjak689 Old Prussians: Get genocided into conversion This MF above:

[@shivaannaidoo2527]

2:34 is a Christian cartoon .

[@HanifAbdurrahman]

Thank you very much, you made my day lol

[@heikkint]

Keep this up and maybe in a generation teachers in history class will open up the chapter on crusades with this video as this is the best compression of the timeline. And then go into details when kids have been introduced to the absolute chaos of that time.