Crustacean Chaos Carnage (AKA 12 evil crab books)

[@emp6591]

Take me to crurch (crab church)

[@Crowcaller]

Take me to Church (crab church)

[@alisaurus4224]

I’ll scuttle up your legs with all my crabby claws And put you pinch by pinch into my crabby jaws Offer you a crabless death? Oh no, that’s against crabby law

[@hektorsehmsdorf1336]

I'll worship like a crab

[@kailunartic6647]

@@hektorsehmsdorf1336And form you a new shell

[@JustAPencil_]

What are you talking about? All crabs are clearly baby eating atheists.

[@music_YT2023]

The art at the end is superb. He isn't even using the hilt of the blade, that's how you know he's hardcore about his crab carnage.

[@Crowcaller]

all crabs are born only being capable of rage

[@0meAcat1]

Evolution creates the form of the crab over and over, and with each incarnation there is only more fury

[@Crowcaller]

And they are progressively larger. Don't forget the size. The ideal crab is the size of new york

[@ironicallynice]

You know what. This comment is unto something.

[@irisaferg2524]

​@@Crowcaller why stop there???? (The answer is bc then they'd be too furious)

[@macbal9879]

Now I need a Murder Crabs x Crab Rave fanfic. Like some murder crabs sneak into the crab rave and a detective crab shows up and tries to find the murder crabs before the rave is over forever.

[@0meAcat1]

Danse Macrabre

[@romulusnuma116]

The final form of all fiction

[@Crowcaller]

I WISH

[@ecyor0]

Carcinifiction

[@Ethan-qs7fo]

I am so so so so entranced by this,, ♥️🦀EVIL ♥️🦀CRABS♥️🦀

[@Crowcaller]

me too thank you so much. they're just little guys. they're just normal men. they're just innocent men.

[@speedydoggo]

i really appreciate your enthusiasm for The Sucking Pit's title

[@Crowcaller]

Ah you see. It is called the. The sucking. The sucking pit.

[@benny_lemon5123]

I legit cackled each time the title was mentioned. I guess my energy was at the same level lol

[@Noaartetc]

Is the pit the arm. The arm pit 😔

[@jessip8654]

Man I love old pulp covers. So much personality.

[@Crowcaller]

I am pretty in love with them

[@sixrabbits3972]

There is something special about pulp novel. Not every book needs to be meaningful and thought provoking, sometimes the only thought need be "but what if crabs were evil?" and sometimes that is enough. still don't know how one turns that into a whole series...

[@Crowcaller]

I know how to make it a series!! "What if crabs were evil......again!?!?!‽"

[@owlelfling5089]

I’m so stoked to see you talking about the Crabs series and about pulp novels because I JUST got done reading Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix where he goes over DOZENS of pulp horror paperbacks and their authors and illustrators and their rise and downfall and he dedicates a decent chunk to the Crabs books, and a full page to the cover of Crabs Human Sacrifice (which is also one of my favorite covers I saw in the book!) I can’t wait to get my mitts on this series someday! And I’m even more hyped because of this vid!

[@Crowcaller]

oh god the cover.... does that book by any chance explain who the illustrator was and if/where I can buy a framed poster of it because. No joke. Need that.

[@owlelfling5089]

@@Crowcaller oh geez I can't remember the illustrator, I THINK it mentioned who they were but I'd have to get it from the library again to make sure. If I find it again I'll reply here for noteriety's sake tho!

[@captainnemo7690]

​​​@@Crowcaller Hi, local pulp enthusiast and archivist here! There's no surviving information on the artists for some of the crab books that I could locate (including "Crabs: The Human Sacrifice", tragically) but several covers in the series are credited to Rowena Morrill, who was an *icon* in genre fiction covers -- she even won multiple Hugos for her art. She's a legend. I don't know if anyone sells prints of her work now, but there are two books of selected art, one posthumous and the other published in the 80s, both of which are excellent and I can wholeheartedly recommend.

[@gigitastic90]

I was so lucky to grow up in my grandmas resale shop as a kid. I got to flip through the weirdest pulp books and fun older choose your adventure books that came in when I wasnt forcing the ladies who worked there to play camping with me when we got in a full tent/ camping set.

[@Crowcaller]

God we had a bookstore when I was a kid that was like only pulp. I didn't appreciate it enough

[@Saphia_]

I think I had a few pulp books and I think when it comes to books, these smell the best.

[@Crowcaller]

HELL YEAH THEY DO

[@meaniepanini3198]

I thought we were talking car-sized crabs but the size of a hare ?? 😭

[@Crowcaller]

They get increasingly big but it's definitely funniest when they're pretty normally sized

[@alisaurus4224]

Right? There are actual land crabs bigger than that, never mind deep sea crabs

[@neddles33]

I really like the old Shadow pulps, even though they definitely...show their age at time. Most of the time it's really fun, melodramatic and action heavy spy and crime stories that hit every single (non-sexual) loyalty/duty/competency kink I have ever had

[@neddles33]

my favourite cover from that series is probably Death About Town, which features a skeleton in a bow tie and top hat

[@Crowcaller]

I need to show off my fav pulp cover collections. My classic fav has always been Lady Slings The Booze which has among other things a dog in a suit at a bar, Sherlock Holmes, and a robot in a brothel. Have still yet to read it

[@neddles33]

@@Crowcaller that is both an excellent assortment of weirdness and an amazing title. Pulps were a different breed of weird

[@GoldenMarmotin]

I'd really love to hear more about pulp, that video idea is great. This felt a lot like just hanging out with a friend that's telling me about their special interest, 10/10

[@Crowcaller]

I have so many silly covers I need to share even if no one will listen but true loyalists. I love pulp and how weird and forgotten it is

[@KittenJune96]

He's really sincere about crab murder is a sentence i never heard before. Truly a sentence that was uttered in the history of uttering sentences.

[@Crowcaller]

Surely never said before... Right?

[@KittenJune96]

Certainly. I love hearing sentence pioneers.

[@diana_brownie]

I really loved this small video, feels like a called from an acquaintance, a catching up. Hope you do more

[@Crowcaller]

It's not that exciting or attention grabbing I guess (despite the thumbnail) but I was extremely busy and doing a quicker video about a weird book is fun and means I can post while I do something more mainstream

[@scrappedmetal]

it's called the sucking pit...

[@Crowcaller]

It is called. The sucking pit!

[@SaigesArstgo1031]

this mans obsessed with animals lol

[@Crowcaller]

He found one that worked and it did! it really was a trend. We should get really into evil animal attack stories again.

[@tylerjadebunnyhippie]

Just wanted to say I really enjoy your content, and I totally dig the concept of not being used to having a job. You very much inspire me. Love from TN.

[@Crowcaller]

Thank you! This is a weird life please enjoy crabs

[@joantoons]

Babe wake up new crow caller upload

[@Crowcaller]

Look, it's a weird one MOSTLY about crabs.

[@radisk5973]

I read the blurb of the Sucking Pit out of curiosity and yeah... Idk what i expected but you summed it up pretty aptly, it's just weird and racist innit.

[@Crowcaller]

I have a few pulp where it is kinda the case. Oops! Too racist! And I probably won't ever read it (?). Pulp is a tricky genre because of its age and original audience, and you really can get jumpscared by some very dated views. On the other hand some are pleasantly very progressive. But because they're books no one talks about,, you never really know ahead of time

[@chiariscuro]

The crabs dont even need to be giants to be scary!!

[@Crowcaller]

No!!! they are my little friends... 🦀🦀🦀

[@chiariscuro]

@@Crowcaller but they have weapons for hands... 😔 (though i saw some hermit crabs by the sea this week and they were really cute so i admit defeat)

[@mysideacc2770]

as soon as i saw the title of this vid, i clicked on it before i even noticed who uploaded it. the crabs!! all of the titles and covers look like excellent crappy horror movies. i really want to try and find these books, but i feel like these are the kind of pulp novels that i'd only be able to get from a single shopee listing for 1k php. (the pain of being a filipino trying to find english books that aren't by popular authors)

[@Crowcaller]

Yeah, I don't know int pricing, here specifically finding a pulp book can be a bit costly. Though unless it's specifically rare it usually isn't too much, just rare... But also I only know eBay in the UK really

[@ubertaco6416]

i CANT believe you made a video specifically for me

[@Crowcaller]

It's also for 🦀🦀🦀 but please enjoy 🦀🦀🦀 I don't think many of my subscribers will actually watch this so you're extra correct 🦀🦀🦀

[@felinavondraco9500]

Pulp novels can be such treasures. Some of my favorite books in my collection are old pulp novels I happened to pick up when I was a kid in the 90s. What always drew me was.in fact the covers. I wish you the best. Your content is always a delight.

[@chiaratraber5885]

Yeah I used to watch the Augsburger Puppenkiste Urmel adaptation and while I was never outright terrified of the crab it is kinda creepy would not want to ever see in real life

[@victoriahaller7600]

I love it! I need a copy of the crab human sacrifice! What a great cover!

[@puttiplush]

We must never underestimate, quote, "The Unparalleled Military Genius of King Crab" (who is a female crab) in her quest to conquer Britain and cockblock one specific misogynist. Great light vid on a silly series. Crabs truly are... Jus' Lil' Guys.

[@santiagoacosta3372]

This is the perfect video for my lunch break

[@moose1277]

ayy crow is back! can't wait to learn something new and ridiculous

[@Crowcaller]

Thank you. It's crab time. Baby.

[@rayraffiki1856]

I love old Star Trek book covers. They can be absolutely wild

[@Crowcaller]

No no... the crabs are my friends.

[@sketchyphoenix7315]

Love the new haircut! It looks really good.

[@songweretson]

Have you read the original Conan the Barbarian stories, by chance? Because Robert E Howard's writing is so underrated. It really is the best of the best when it comes to pulp.

[@Crowcaller]

No, it's a facet that doesn't come super into my interest, though I have enjoyed The Eye of Argon which is an infamously bad sincere short fiction inspired by it. Which gives me the gist. I almost entirely lean on weird sci fi for my pulp, I'm not into high fantasy much in general and for pulp swords and sorcery, and the wonderful world of barbarians, doesn't do it for me.

[@songweretson]

@@Crowcaller worth a shot. Howard's work is so underrated, I always try to recommend him whenever I can. Now if only I could do that for my own book. XD

[@sarahknowlton4088]

they don't make em like they used to (books about evil crabs)

[@Crowcaller]

You know. So they? I've never been on like, browsing ebook self published books blindly for evil crab books. Maybe they still do. Or they're at least crab eroticica

[@terralim6849]

For anyone craving some Crab POV and more Crab Based Human Sacrifice I thoroughly recommend the folk-religious horror podcast the Silt Verses ❤

[@Crowcaller]

IVE HEARD ITS VERY GOOD

[@carlizinea]

The "sea animal attacking people" trope is super cool. My favorite book into it so far is The Swarm. Pretty complex actually, with the ocean turning against people, its an amazing piece of sci fi, 100% worth reading!! Edit: yes it does have crabs.

[@johannageisel5390]

In Feudal Scotland, Crab eats YOU!

[@Crowcaller]

It's like the 80s actually! There's just lords BC Scotland

[@emmascheerer309]

i’m so obsessed with the fact that guy n. smith is his REAL name

[@Crowcaller]

He's just a guy

[@kytten]

#JustCrabThings

[@Crowcaller]

Destroying the Scottish Economy #JustCrabThings

[@paadoxal]

thank you, perfect timing i needed something like this rn

[@Crowcaller]

🦀🦀🦀Please enjoy a small little talk about crabs.🦀🦀🦀

[@paadoxal]

@@Crowcaller very much enjoyed, thank you. Wish i was a killer crab torturing the citizens of a small coastal town, my only worry being shedding my shell in peace:)

[@EldritchZoeArchive]

Ah, Carcenisation

[@Crowcaller]

Eventually all books Become Crab too

[@mysideacc2770]

oh hey i didn't know you had hermies! i do too! i've got a big one rn (roughly golfball sized) who just finished molting, and a handful of little guys with him (long story, unexpected gift(?) from the guy i usually source my hermie food from). i used to be terrified of em as a kid since i'm arachnophobic, but now i just see all crabs as silly lil guys. i do really love the image of a bunch of silly lil crabs all bloody and violent though, the mental image is weirdly adorable.

[@Crowcaller]

I don't anymore! But as a kid we had about four I think, this is age 8- named uh, popcorn, pretzel, and pannekoeken I remember. I really loved the dudes, they're very chill and cute

[@taylor6528]

hey, i know you primarily cover Bad books (and i love that for you honestly, its one of my favorite things to watch) but would you ever consider covering some good dystopias etc? i actually read only ever yours on ur recommendation, and i'd love to see u talk about that! or - have u ever read tender is the flesh? my friend recommended it to me after i was talking ot them abt ur human pet video and its really uncanny and dark in a way i love. definitely recommend it!

[@raspberrycream]

My first pulp novel was called Tik Tok, and featured a robot with a gun on the cover. "How funny! I bet this will be ridiculous [complimentary]" What followed was one of the most grim and nihilistic books I'd ever read. It's about a robot serial killer taking advantage of Asimov's laws to inflict the maximum amount of human suffering without getting caught

[@vicivicibobici]

thought this was gonna be a shitpost about stormlight archive, THE CRABS WILL ARISE

[@Chompz-at]

Crabs are such goofy lil guys. I wish they were more squishable though.

[@Crowcaller]

No. Hard . Protect organs.

[@Chompz-at]

An unfortunate tradeoff

[@geeegaewlwlwll9328]

god i love your videos

[@Crowcaller]

I appreciate it. No one but TRUE believers will watch and enjoy the crab carnage video. It's time for crab

[@dunjunart]

all hail our little guy overlords

[@Crowcaller]

I can't tell if you are talkin crabs or my hanging paper guys looming in the back. I clearly use the term too much if this is a mystery to me

[@dunjunart]

@@Crowcaller it can be both!

[@wendyheatherwood]

Are you thinking of The Rats by James Herbert? If so I've actually read that one! It's not bad. It's his first book though and he definitely got better over time, let's go with that. Also, we spend a lot if time in the protagonist's head and his thoughts regarding women and girls* are... not great and it doesn't feel like the character is ever called out for them by the text. It could well be that it was written as a character flaw, but if so he failed to get that across properly, in my opinion anyway. Also it was the 1970s. (*and yes I do mean girls. The protagonist is a teacher and we get to read his thoughts about his early teen students as they arrive at school, and the book would be so much better if we didn't.)

[@Crowcaller]

yes! that's the one. A lot of pulp from this time was just.... quite often weird about women and minorities. It's a risk with pulp you have to roll wih, sometimes it's surprisingly good or fine, sometimes it's like WHOOPS that's horrible

[@sophialane4507]

All I can think about is Mr Krabs walking sound

[@Astrotorical]

Ah yes, the truest form of horror. Not crabs. Not bats. Not alligators or giant sharks. The most horrifying tale: A pit full of Racism.

[@Crowcaller]

The... Sucking pit? You say? The pit that sucks?

[@Astrotorical]

@@Crowcaller oh right. The Pit. The Pit of Sucking, the Pit specifically full of racism that Sucks, The Sucking Pit. That pit?

[@gayrurumon]

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

[@Crowcaller]

Something to think about...........................

[@ladiesngerms]

when you least expect it your gonna be hit by The Crabs

[@Crowcaller]

This very much applies il

[@lenapawlek7295]

Lol i also need a crabs human sacrifice print

[@Crowcaller]

Like WHERE DO I COP FOR REAL

[@KimSokolArt]

Ever listened to I Don’t Even Own A Television? Great (and sadly recently ended) bad book podcast, and IIRC one of these books is the reason their sign off became "Ride the crab!"

[@Crowcaller]

Ooo, no I haven't

[@lilliandoughty5783]

Pulp fiction is a genre entirely meant for judging the book by the cover, and I stand by that.

[@tuckerdidit5890]

*excited MST3K reference noises *

[@llsilvertail561]

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

[@Crowcaller]

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

[@johannageisel5390]

Anybody remember this video with the cute little crabs who speak in a robotic voice and investigate a hand?

[@chloedavila3570]

I actually have a strong hatred for crabs so I feel compelled to take up the mantle and make more crabs pulp novels. Crabs might not feel hatred but they will simply grab a thing and gnaw on it until it dies and that freaks me out.

[@SkyofDread]

I didn’t know I needed to know about this, but I did. Thanks

[@Crowcaller]

I mostly do a lot of slightly notable books and content but in truth I have very specific weird interests and I must chase them. Like my deep obsession with pulp I've barely scratched

[@grant9637]

crabs.

[@Crowcaller]

You... you get it

[@angiel4562]

Damn I really hoped for crab pov :

[@Crowcaller]

There's a bit of it throughout, in a more narrative third person way. Would have enjoyed a firdt person crab POV tho.

[@foopers]

I ate a crab once. He was yummy.

[@0meAcat1]

How could you say this in front of the 🦀🦀🦀

[@Crowcaller]

NOT IN EAR SHOT OF THE MURDER CRABS, PLEASE

[@WilliamCouper]

Shaun Hutson cites Night of the Crabs as his inspiration to write. He though, if this guy can published, so can I. Night of the Crabs is, indeed awful. As in one of the characters, with only what looks like tractor tracks as evidence, comes to the conclusion the seaside town is under attach by giant crabs. That kind of bad.

[@pileofhagfish]

We NEED to employ novel cover painters again, literature would only grow stronger if we reclaim this lost field (especially with more giant crabs)

[@serene1172]

For anyone still checking the comments, Lovecraft was famously a pulp author

[@Nomyriad]

it's crabs!

[@Crowcaller]

Ain't good ain't bad it's crabs

[@yelena86]

👍✌️🙏❤️✨💜

[@Crowcaller]

🦀🦀🦀

[@ninjaHJ1]

Omg I fucking love this. Thx.

[@citypoprevival]

i love pulp novels, and have a fondness for the bad gay pulp, but it makes me sad few of them are posted online 😭

[@Crowcaller]

I've never found a classic gay pulp! In the wild I mean

[@kailunartic6647]

If you buy all the crab books and do a series just reading them chapter by chapter, I will watch it and possibly donate to your coffi

[@natsuvoyage]

Clickity-clack

[@emp6591]

This bookshelf tour is just gonna be RIFE with lore from other videos and I'm so here for it (yes this is my second comment embrace the cringe)

[@Crowcaller]

it's not cringe you're a hero of the ages a hero of the crab video

[@emp6591]

​@@CrowcallerI will embrace my newfound title and my place at the round table with humility (telling everyone I know of this)

[@WJLMAROON]

The way I added this to my tbr based solely on the fact that it is set in Scotland and features crabs, an animal I have a deep dislike for. The pincers and their quick movements is a no from me. I am also terrified of frogs. It is also my dearest ambition to befriend a tiger. There are many strange faucets to my personality.

[@WJLMAROON]

Lobsters are also untrustworthy af.

[@junkin456]

CRABS.... BUT EVIL!!!!!!

[@mattie1478]

Once again, Doctor Who did it first ("the macra terror", story from the 1960s)

[@rustkitty]

Crabs - it's not crap.

[@ThatGreenMach1ne]

Don't tell these crabs about carcinization.

[@SallySueSaywhatagain]

First!!!

[@paper_bag_pancake]

dang it!

[@Crowcaller]

TO THE VICTOR THE SPOILS* (*I am sorry I have no spoils for you at this time)