CRYSTAL MARIE DENHA, Make up wars, gender wars, sniff and taste all day long! #58

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[@AdamSmith-rp9ej]

🤣🤣 The funniest thing I have heard in my entire life "its hard to be surprised when you walk home like a lobster" 🤣This is the episode I will share with everyone I know to get them to listen to the podcast 🥳

[@yurperfect]

So funny 😂

[@johnnyboy3846]

Scissor me Timbers guy 😳 Harland is a master of holding eye contact. What a treat

[@georgieboy_htown4eva4eva]

How can someone not break out in laughter for so long around Harland? 🤣 he's too damn funny.

[@JimNortonsAlcoholism]

She's dead inside

[@darcarkon4409]

The lobster bit finally got her haha.

[@kerch-e]

I loved her even tempered energy. It's a seldom used comedic device nowadays, but she wields it well.

[@wes7949]

Thanks Harland 😏👀 @1:06:04 his look at the camera afterwards... 😂😂😂

[@Vanilla_Sun]

All these butterfly kisses have me feeling lighter than a feather on the moon, thanks guy!

[@YouAreTooFine]

These delicate and tender butterfly kisses convinced me to like and subscribe

[@MonsieurDrobot]

Kinda needed more

[@eemoogee160]

​@@MonsieurDrobot 🦋💋🦋💋🦋💋

[@jonyaboy]

Theo's gotta be the next on the #harlandhighway

[@MrOvlov02]

G A N G G A N G

[@PissyKnish]

It would be awesome to see how much he sucks as a human compared to Harlan! :)

[@sonic198310]

Got to get Theodore on there. Good call

[@chrisreid7758]

the camera look at 11:48 LOLOLOL

[@gmcneil5923]

This is the only podcast that makes me laugh out loud each episode. Got me with the table toe smash call back this time (49:53)😂

[@BriJo91]

Hatland I met you on Saturday in Spokane and I just want to thank you for talking to me and my friend. It really made my week getting to chat with one of my favorite comedians ever. Never lose steam.. everything you do is pure art and joy! Also, marry me and move back to Canada 😂😂❤

[@rusbell2981]

God this Is the best podcast ever. You're the best Harland

[@Twigg4075]

"I do like attractive women a lot...not to like scissor or anything." 😂

[@WKRP187]

And here I thought having a dwarf dentist digging around in my mouth for 2 hrs was going to be the highlight of the day until I started this one, Guy!!

[@grantswan8525]

stick to your day job kiddo, that statement was so cringeworthy

[@johnisouth6636]

Great one here Har Har. Think we could get one with The Memphis Strangler William Montgomery? That would be the funniest show ever.

[@Bforbendejo]

The big red machine

[@slingblade0085]

The looks on his face when she was talking about scissoring 👀... PRICELESS 👌🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kungfew1396]

Wow Harland I hope you read this someday so I was finally able to tell you how much I love your comedy and everyone I mean everyone I know when I bring you up says "Oh yeah I know that guy he's hilarious!" Please keep up the great work with this podcast you are doing a fantastic job! ✌

[@KaninTuzi]

What a bombshell! 💣 And the guest is nice too!

[@coloradofrankieable]

“Well it is cream filled…” and that look to the camera 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Richard.Yoplait]

Wow. She’s super funny. What a sense of humor.

[@giftedsnootist]

Lol

[@markpatton5998]

Sarcasm I hope😮

[@Richard.Yoplait]

@@markpatton5998 100% I worry for those who thought it wasn't

[@holisterbruxly4554]

Lil frigid but shes a smokeshow, cant expect it all.

[@submersed2]

👆👆simp simp alert ! Simp

[@stopdropnroll]

That look he gave to camera after asking Crystal to stretch 😂😂 1:06:19. Thank you Harland, thank you, you’re the breast!

[@RD-qb7sd]

"Scissoring on the cave floor" Harland's new hour

[@MrDballmoney]

Her voice is so soothing, she immediately makes me feel calm. I'd be all over a woman with a voice like hers period but being a super hottie on top of that?! Great Gilbert of Gilgamesh!!

[@user-wr2cd1wy3b]

I love her speaking dynamic could you imagine the kind of depth you'd have in a relationship with her. Also when she wiped off the cucumber, I immediately imagined her doing that to my

[@bigwill-pn5xc]

The look at the camera after the stretching session before the wooden shoe had me dying.

[@dannyakbar]

The camera cutting back to the kitten’s eyes judging me added a hilarious layer to this lasagna

[@herpallday1284]

15:30 Harland freakin kills me man so damn silly 😆

[@robinisbell8513]

Thank you for getting her to stretch. Damn, I nominate her Queen of the Hitters. Gives Yeonmi Parks a run for money.

[@Whatuptho_8]

🏋🏽‍♂️🏋🏽‍♂️🏋🏽‍♂️ heavies.

[@eemoogee160]

연미? 쀍! 🤢

[@matearl1989]

That cucumber took me out! 😂😂😂

[@RD-qb7sd]

That's what she said.

[@matearl1989]

@@RD-qb7sd ba dum tis

[@doc4165]

24:23 - hahaha you're a treat Harland..

[@robf6105]

Harland looking directly at the camera, during the sexy talk, whilst munching on cucumbers is hysterical.

[@JordainLennie]

When Harland bites the chocolate instead of the raspberry 🤣

[@MrShene123]

This is my new favorite podcast.

[@chrisshorty]

Walking home like a lobster!!! Love the podcast, best pod out there by far!!! ☮ 🤣🤣🤣😂

[@jeremiahbrisso3680]

As a man I didn't listen to any of this but it was on the whole time in the background

[@user-df8fw3fw7g]

“Rollover onto Oonk”. LMAO!!!

[@magawathunderhead246]

Harland you are the f@%kn best improvisator on the planet. Your guest Crystal played along at the same level! The best podcast guest you have had ! Great flow!

[@chrisvang890]

harland on the relationship thing is on point. Fresh and fit.

[@justintavares9179]

Very funny. Harland introduce the person at the beginning lol

[@user-wr2cd1wy3b]

lol this went by lightning, i loved it

[@trophy_husband]

Good lord, she reeeally went for the throat with that missionary waddle joke....😬 thought she agreed to keep it pg an drop scissoring and sexual stuff... not cool lady, not cool lol😂😂

[@OddManGraham]

I listened to the audio version earlier. Had to come check out the video to see what she looks like. Good lord. Face matches the voice. I would never get tired of her affection.

[@EdgarPerez-cc3rt]

Harland is so damn clever lmao!

[@CamMacMastermusic]

1:06:00 “ The Stretch “

[@a.k.4o]

Nice

[@DaJuice222]

Oh Harland Harland Harland. Your arguably one of the funniest people ever

[@ModeratelyAmused]

So 30 minutes in, I was treating this as a guessing game "What's My Line" and I'm glad he finally said it because I would have never guessed.

[@apl7358]

Crystal Marie is mí new favorite 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 👏🏻Great episode🛣

[@tfanning111]

This woman stole my heart… Also, Mockingbird is TX. Cali is Gull ya lunatic

[@Kron79]

I'm learning so much.

[@theedon501]

54:30 LMFAO yoooo shit spot on 💀🤣

[@user-gh3cr4nn2w]

Harland and the angry lady eat vegetables

[@mrdgg949]

I love this

[@autoproblematic5800]

I’m just glad podcasting has become a more visual medium. Wow!

[@davidperez5089]

Silver fox har reins in the honeys like no one else in podcasting.

[@Twigg4075]

EMTs are NOT usually the first to respond to an emergency. It's the police. There's a reason why EMTs and fire personnel are referred to as Second Responders.

[@johncoscia5258]

This episode was all over for me two minutes in , with rounding .

[@dosesandmimoses]

Thanks!

[@bradsmith7180]

handled her "cruel" moments (icy attacks?) with such compassion and humor, well played

[@user-wr2cd1wy3b]

cruel? you ever have a gf before, this was basically two kids goofing around

[@Aideen98]

I love her, so much grace 😍

[@robotfart]

Love you Sir Harland! I keep wanting to ask, what car is that in your intro? The convertible you're in?

[@robotfart]

So Harland do you even know?…

[@frusciantegeartone]

Harland you are the best. Great guests and so light hearted. Please keep this thing going waddle man

[@christianslater8980]

I hope I get to see her this Friday down in LA

[@jamesyoung5610]

"Emotional Lasagna," a great concept!

[@Drrewsterr]

I don't like how she comes off too pretty to really smile and laugh, WORRIED ABOUT SHOWING WRINKLES OR SOMETHING... 58:15 She had to face away and cover her mouth. HARLAND IS TOO FUNNY 😂

[@MrPercolator9000]

If you watch Hardland Highway, surely you understand that her trying not to laugh is at the core of the game Harland plays with his guests. That's the challenge he issues them. He's going to try his level best to troll them with their own shtick. If they successfully 'yes and' him, they win, but they enter into the Harlandverse. If he makes them break or no-sell his bits, he wins, and he gets to barrel the camera. Either way is hilarious. The entire eyeshadow bit that he does is Harland making fun of Crystal for exactly what you said, to her face. He made her the straight woman, and she took it in stride as well as anyone else that's been on, and I've watched just about all of them now. Compare her to Harland on Rogan. She's no selling his bits, yes, but she's not stepping on them. She allows him to stay in that zone that she's reacting to negatively without changing the subject, and her not reacting becomes what's funny. When she gets that waddle jab in at 1:07:20 I think that's the hardest I've seen someone make Harland laugh. May or may not go watch her comedy about how men and women are different, but as a Hardland guest, top notch imo.

[@ricktaylor66]

I've never seen her comedy, and I will, but I learned more about women, as a man, on this podcast than I thought possible. She cut away all my concerns with her fantastic insight and pair of .....scissors🤣

[@kamtoss]

The chemistry between them is fun, great podcast!

[@yurperfect]

"HOME OF THE WHOPPER" 🤣💀

[@pennywiseflyz9130]

She should seriously be a relationship counselor for real

[@johnszczerba9979]

Shes Adam Carolla's gf

[@watevatube]

Harland laying it on thick in the beginning, shooters shoot 😂

[@xanthoussouls]

“Do me a flavor” and come do a show near Cincinnati. I’ve been a Type 1 diabetic for 20 years and according to my #1 news source (this podcast) I could lose my leg, guy.

[@pennywiseflyz9130]

She seems pretty cool. Her confidence is definitely attractive

[@pennywiseflyz9130]

I take back my opinion. As I continue to watch, she’s definitely “the chick” that keeps bringing up stuff.

[@cousinivoryciv1309]

@@pennywiseflyz9130 her on the adam carolla show the other day was unbearable.

[@michaelmarsh618]

Individuality, you have to love it, such a gift if you embrace it. Love to laugh and you my friend are pretty humorous..

[@Matt98015]

God I love Harland. Have a great time at Marie Callender’s tonight 🐬🐬🐬

[@abelpelayo1669]

Link good sir ? 😅

[@kdarbinian4457]

lookin all fancy and shit

[@jason698]

A great name for a band would be scissor juice😂

[@DeSoto1986]

Harland is the funniest man in the whole wide world.

[@ar800]

All the dynamic laughs! The two of yous made me go right to scissoring. The First Date bit was right on que-cumber. This message of love comes from the floor.

[@Dennis-66]

Very pretty, getting some serious Jami Gertz vibes, hilarious conversation. Ya'll are great together

[@eemoogee160]

Jerusalem artichokes, aka 'sunchokes', are somewhat similar to potatoes but have inulin and are good for preventing diabetes.

[@SwollFullReady2Roll]

Lmaoooo the fucking cucumber thank you

[@PC-iv5so]

31:19 great observation... 😂

[@noahmanley1918]

Great Ep as usual Guy...Wanna see Kim Congdon on next, it would be very weird but Gold, I'm Cereal Keep it up👌🏽

[@wisemanbjj91]

Sold she’s great !

[@shweeky]

Harland is funny asf There personality’s match good This shi was funny asf

[@zg9445]

Ego waffles 😂

[@doc4165]

Crystal is a Ferrari with their engine not a Ferrari with a lawn mower engine . What a well spoken lady...

[@MrE1981]

That white dot on his cheek the entire time..why didn't she tell him???

[@r.minnis9722]

when Harlan looks at the camera when she says clitoris 😂

[@ianwattarts9058]

Can we get an official playlist for the podcast so it works with KZbin Music pleaseeeee

[@user-wr2cd1wy3b]

dude i love tickle-tations wtf.

[@riedud]

Harland you're the man already, but I got rid of my waddle (runs in the family) with self fat destroying injections and cryofreezing.

[@FlokiPoki-we9gm]

It took me less than 3 min...lol.

[@MrBuketman]

If the rumors are true, Adam Carolla is a lucky guy to be able to “scissor” this lady.

[@rustincole_w1339]

If she is into Adam Carrolla that's a conspiracy in itself

[@RoboKyPR]

Oh ! Is that why she has a career in comedy ?

[@WKRP187]

For a dude that doesn't shower and is offended by soap of any kind he really gets some top shelf primo snatch!!

[@jarrenpuckett8538]

Nothing better than butterfly kisses on the highway 🦋 😘

[@el_teeny]

Shout out, comedian/EMT sister.

[@MultiSarky]

Harland’s revealing shirt. 😂

[@liferunsonduncan]

Please never, ever eat cucumbers on the Harland Highway again. Ever. I’m begging you.

[@bobspurloc]

Not Yours.... LOL... have to watch this twice to catch all the quickies... Harlan never got to get one out... he asked if the makeup made him look female, and he was going to reply with ok can we scissors now? but it took a different turn LOL

[@SwollFullReady2Roll]

Omfg the Alfred Hitchcock directing

[@jessewilliams7812]

Thanks for the butterfly kisses guy

[@naverno]

Where is the video of the next episode?

[@one_fat_ninja4809]

🦋 more please 🦋

[@Lorefilmsnz]

It took me 30 mins before I realized Harland was on this pod

[@babujakosia9395]

"Passat" are Winds (Passatwinds) that the sailors in Kolumbus times had to deal with. VW generally uses Wind and Storm names as their car names. Like Scirocco... So the fart kiiinda works :D Love the pod as always ! Shoutout from Austria.