Reddit's Stalker Subreddit Got WORSE | r/Obsessive_Love

[@Cuestar]

sorry the visuals at the end of the video are messed up, i was straight up in a blind rage when i was finishing the vid lol

[@Cuestar]

thanks to the rollerbro tier channel members : Hannah! Matthew Kendall! Kateland! Beththedork! Ashton Jacobsen! June! …! Mega Mander! Alicia! Caatko! Kennedy DeSilvis! Tay P! Trippy Scarecrow! HyperNinjaChild! Jared D! Regrettable Stitches! Allison Bee! Fiona Fox! Kaijah Bey! Brittany! Gray! Hemil Patel! Kitty Smith! Madison Hughey! Ryan Mackert! The Gmork! Wilt! A Wolfe! Cheyenne Pickersgill! Dogpolice! Jossi! Bobby Butler! Phralupe! Abigail Reed!

[@frogfish]

it started out with a kiss

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

@@frogfish how did it end up like this

[@GreyEag]

Hey ho! Im Grey Spelled with and E! I'd like to clarify you made a point saying that I haven't been obsessed over! I had an ex that was obsessed with me she stalked tf outta me and everything. It made me feel important and happy! I don't condone people obsessing without consent but I enjoyed it. I mean they got my address and everything. But I'd like to say I'm not normal, im fucked. It's something to do with attachment issues.

[@Cuestar]

@@GreyEag fair enough, honestly. Not sure if it's a healthy attachment style, but if you actually do enjoy it I can't argue with that

[@RealCryptoTest]

Ah myes, a video to remind me that I may be single but I’m not on this subreddit so I’m winning.

[@solidaritytime3650]

Ah, myes A man of kwalatay

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

you are winning if you are not miserable for being single. I always felt like i am all i can rely on if i lose everything, so i have to be ok with that. i wanna be the kinda person that can be homeless and still hold myself together. dying alone is something to make peace with, i mean people get widowed and shit. so far i have been to lucky so life def has some fucked shit planned for me.

[@confidentminaj]

A win is a win 😅

[@JohnnyTromboner]

@@solidaritytime3650 Google translate: "Oh my A man of kulatay" Now I want to know what kulatay is

[@solidaritytime3650]

@@JohnnyTromboner it's a just a misspelling of "Ah, yes, a man of quality" Given to indicate a posh accent

[@SomeNameWithGambitInIt]

it's upsetting that there's people romanticizing obsessive stalking, calling it romantic, poetic etc. Being stalked is not fun or nice in the slightest. these people need help, not a community on reddit

[@CursedGoldenFruit]

How does harassing videos like this help? You all don't care, you just want to laugh.

[@mlgsty8880]

@@CursedGoldenFruit When you support behavior like stalking I dont think you have any place to be talking about harassment.

[@wtichery]

It's like, consensual stalking tho.

[@lightBulb-ny2oo]

Im not like them but i sympathize. My friend that i hung out with everyday was obsessed with a girl and he might go to jail.

[@BerryTrekkin]

These people do need a place to talk about such things - but that place should be therapy

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

almost seems like therapy shouldn't be dished out based on income

[@juliusweiss5447]

And most definitely not an echo chamber subreddit that’ll have other people reinforcing your bad ideas.

[@bonelesssardine640]

@@holographicwing in my experience it takes a little of trial and error until you find a good one but they do exist

[@CursedGoldenFruit]

Not everyone can afford therapy. Your silver spoon is showing.

[@juliusweiss5447]

@@CursedGoldenFruit That doesn’t change the fact that these people need to see one. No one needs you policing the internet. 🙄

[@Chelaxim]

People are really trying to gatekeep and being all "back in my day" over stalking?!

[@sunnyandthechlo]

The person who thinks they want someone obsessed with them- they do not. Picture someone you do NOT like. Then imagine them doing this to you, where you've said no multiple times, when they've ignored everything you say to the point that it's dehumanizing, to the point you can't do anything you like anymore because it might trigger them to go off the deep end if everything isn't dictated by them. That's what the object of the obsession is going through. It changes everything when it's someone you DON'T want around.

[@coriander1521]

I hate this subreddit's premise in general, but the fact that they all try to "one up" each other in awful behavior is even worse. Imagine having the mind to say that the "methods of stalking" were better in the "good old days" lol

[@TheHarrisontemple]

Having a girl obsessed with you is fun for about 3 days then she starts showing up at your door at 3am crying because she had a cheating dream about you every night it's not really fun.

[@Kruhee]

"This person does not exist" is fun, it's great for writers or DMs looking for inspiration for character descriptions, for artists looking to do face studies, and for the fun of laughing at the monstrous accidents that occasionally come up. It's NOT for catfishing people!

[@quertie420]

I feel like this community should exist, BUT it *needs* to not be on a public forum (zoom meeting, maybe?), and the meetings have to be overseen by councilors/social workers/psychologists.

[@bruh3457]

im a lurker/throwaway poster on obsessive love and ngl these videos are kind of tough to watch for me, but still. 1. When you said "I feel like no one would actually want this in real life," youre right that most people arent like this and its not normal, but in a 2022, post internet society, it's incredibly easy to find the 20 other people on the earth who think the same to you. 2. Yes, it's ABSOLUTELY very similar to incel and proed subculture. Especially incels. the way that incels think and act about all women is very similar to the way people in obsessive love act and think about their object of obsession. My main problem with subcultures like this is how little they promote actually solving the problem. Some people just have terrible attachment patterns, but it's absolutely possible to find someone who isnt harmed by your crazy obsessiveness, and it's absolutely possible to cope with it and behave in a normal way. But often in mental illness based subcultures that just isn't the type of thing anyone cares to hear.

[@MinouHime]

These people are unhinged. I have BPD which is sometimes referred to as 'Yandere Disorder'. I have definitely become obsessed with people when I was younger (FP or Favourite Person is a BPD thing) but I have never crossed boundaries like this, and through DBT and CBT have learned to regulate my emotions anyway. These people need therapy, not an echo chamber that fuels their very not normal behaviour. Stuff like this can get dangerous if you say the wrong things to the wrong person, no one should validate this behaviour.

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

DBT is amazing, isn’t it? It really helped me (different reasons but it is wonderful regardless)

[@yani_bun7042]

I had zero idea people sometimes referred to it as Yandere Disorder! I also have BPD/EID but I have never crossed boundaries like this either and am currently going through group sessions to start working better with my BPD

[@bonelesssardine640]

fr i the only person i personally knew who crossed boundaries like this was VERY anti recovery.

[@O.uroboros.777]

People call it Yandere Disorder? I don't have BPD but that sounds like glamorization to me, not gonna lie

[@MinouHime]

@@O.uroboros.777 There have been people that refer to it. Mostly weebs and likely people that don't actually suffer from it. I also don't really think there is much glamourous about yandere. It can be an interested anime trope and some do it well, but they're not endearing or sympathetic characters even if they have tragic backstories. I think very few would see that as actually glamourous.

[@bluesquadron8667]

There was a girl obsessed with me in high school but she rarely ever spoke to me directly. I was way older than her but we had a mutual friend that she convinced ti try and set us up. For weeks he tried nonstop to get me to talk to her and I never did. She never showered and smelled like weed and extreme bo.

[@LavaSaver]

What's crazy is that if you go to the subreddit you can see them bragging about getting into one of these videos, a "living rent free in the haters' heads" kind of thing. The fact that they genuinely can't understand that there's something wrong with their thinking and come to the conclusion that people saying there's stuff wrong with them are hateful and just aren't able to leave others be (ironic as that is) is disturbing. The idea that anyone has the potential to fall into that kind of mental trap is probably the scariest part.

[@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307]

Well is there even a cure to that I lost two friends of mine to that!

[@chaseashley6775]

Just want to clarify that the ED community on Reddit is super chill. People make memes about the shit they deal with (or lack there of) and it’s just a way to relate to others. We’re not competitive, and people with anorexia to binge-eating disorder support each other and empathize with the issues that affect all of us.

[@clairebear-96]

Yess it’s so much better than the ED/pro ana community from tumblr back in the day - the reddit community isn’t “pro” at all as far as I’ve seen, everyone just makes memes and supports each other and I love it

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

Exactly!

[@joanicide]

Yeah the Twitter can be vile. I got trapped there and in the mindset at a low disconnected-from-reality point early this year… once I started to feel better it was like snapping out of a trance

[@MoonDust22951]

I'm part of the ED community as well and I have never felt more supported and understood except there. Plus the memes are top tier and make my day a little less shitty.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

He's talking about the pro-ana shit. Probably just didn't know the word for it.

[@poppin2249]

The term obsessive love is an oxymoron, obsession is not love, it’s wanting to own and control someone like an object……. That’s not love.

[@wolfclaw254]

I was stalked via okcupid for 2 years. Met the guy once and it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life (trust me, something was not right in his mind and if someone asks I'll tell how the "date" went below) to the point where I immediately blocked him when I got home. He did not understand and made another account which I also blocked. He made another. And another and another. Until I gave up on blocking/reporting him. Even tried talking him into leaving me alone. He said some of the most creepy stuff ever. (essentially I'd say I'd never want to do a certain sexual thing and he said he'd wait for me to let my guard down and do it anyway). This went on for 2 years until someone took my phone and pretended to be my boyfriend and threatened to get the police involved. He was the one to block that time. But came back a few weeks later only to vanish again when I used the police threat. He popped up again on a completely different app a few years later. Still didn't comprehend the word no. But blocked me when I told him to go fuck himself. I sent a long email explaining the whole thing to the controllers of that app. Saying that he was a danger to women. They proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it

[@juliusweiss5447]

I’d like to hear how the date went, if you’re okay with sharing the story.

[@wolfclaw254]

@@juliusweiss5447 as you wish. Remember you asked for this lol. The dude honestly didn't show any red flags in text before we met and this was years ago when I was less careful about who I met, where, when, etc. He didn't have a car so he wanted to meet somewhere close to his place so he could walk there. It ended up being a McDonald's pretty late at night. (I don't eat their food, it's made me sick one too many times) he got some fries or something and we sat down to chat. Pretty quickly I was getting bad vibes from the dude. I'd told him I don't like to do anything physical when meeting someone new (past trauma bs I won't go into) but he was quick to grab and touch me whenever he got the chance. Even pulled me into a bad smelling hug when we first met. The conversation itself wasn't too bad but I was already super uncomfortable by this time and wanted to go. He said he needed a smoke so we went to stand outside. But instead of pulling out a cigarette he started hunting around on the ground searching for a "lightly used one" as he put it. I just wanted to barf. When he couldn't find one he went to harass a nearby smoker to beg a cigarette from him. He got one after the guy gave him some disgusted looks and came back to stand by me (hugging me yet again for good measure). We stood out there then went back inside for maybe 10 more minutes of talking when I decided I wanted to leave. He asked if I could drive him home and I declined. I knew I did not want to be stuck in a car with the dude even if it was just for a couple minutes. So I went out to my car with him right behind me. When I climbed in he started trying to open the other door even though I'd told him I wasn't going to drive him home. He whined a bit but I rolled up the windows and peeled out of the parking lot as fast as I could. Maybe not as dramatic as some other stories but goddamn there was clearly something wrong with him. Just blech

[@kaydwessie296]

@@wolfclaw254 ugh ew I extra hate guys that think “oh but it’s different when I do it!” and touch us when we say we hate it!

[@wolfclaw254]

@@kaydwessie296 he probably hugged me 5+ times in the short "date" and found other instances to grab at me or touch me in other ways. Also ignored me when I asked him to stop

[@dziurawbani6703]

i used to think being in this very reliant and obsessive relationship would be poetic and so edgy, a kind of 'us against the world' mentality, until i really experienced it. it was crippling and honestly terrifying, i was constantly put on a pedestal and my 'partner' threatened to kill themselves every single day, if i ever did anything that didn't fit their narrative they made of me inside of their head, they'd hurt themselves, or at a certain point, even try to stab me with a knife. this community is so scary and brings back alot of emotions. chilling.

[@MsAquamonkey]

I've had people tell me that my stalkers 'obviously like me' so 'why aren't I giving them a chance?' I repeated what they just said back to them, and they realised they are condoning stalking/being obsessed with someone, then they go quiet.

[@tehjesh5994]

Was in an ED echo chamber through tumblr before and its definitely a competitive thing, body checking and thinspo were a huge part of the obsession as well. It's like a contest to see who can get to their lowest. Thankfully I got out of that way of thinking and I'm better now, it's genuinely sad how many people would encourage me and others who where definitely very sick to continue to loose more weight

[@birdflipper]

Even if the dude succeeds in getting his crush's bf to "cheat," how does he plan on telling her about it? "I pretended to be a girl and seduced him online?" Wtf

[@Cuestar]

let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know, let me know,

[@Lp-gn5hx]

Uh, i am not sure... should we let him know?

[@edyoll]

No the point your making has merit i think. I am 22 yo girl i have struggled with self harm for YEARS. It was very popularized by tumblr/myspace/things of that nature. People would post pro self harm stuff online, like pictures, and try to goad people (usually young girls like myself) into cutting deeper and deeper. Me and my friends compare cuts and burns at like 13 but it felt like a trend most of them grew out of and i never could. Ive gotten a lot better now but i had lasting nerve damage and scarring up and down. This yandre shit that everyone is pushing out on tiktok and the idea that having an obsessive gf is so uwu cute is so fucking toxic and reminiscent of my tumblr cutting days idk. Makes me sick!(im also bpd so i am the queen of obsessive. Its not cute trust and believe me lol im very difficult to date from what ive gathered) i think you are on the money with that comparison and the favt that one of the people responding states they are autistic really sets off all my alarams like this is a predatory group by nature and its grooming people to have the most severe mindset insteead of just getting fucking therapy just like the pro sh groups did to me lollll fuck this sub good video cue love u ❤🎉

[@edyoll]

@@Isabella-vx3bc 🫶🏻 stay hydrated girl

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

Wish you the best babe!

[@yeetusfeetus2548]

I posted on this sub once because my boyfriend actually had a stalker (random girl was madly in love wth him. She stalked me and my boyfriend for a full year, she made drawings of them together, and send them to me, she said stuff like "maybe you two are together now, but we're meant to be together and we'll be together in the future.", she made very passive agressive insta stories, kept on wanting to talk to me and basically copied everything I did). I told my story on the sub and asked the people in the sub to consider their actions and to actually stop and if needed to seek help. I told them that their actions really could affect someone's mental health (as it did with me) and it's just wrong. I got some serious hate comments and people who told me just bluntely "No, fuck off., I do what I want". I deleted my post and never looked back. That sub is a breeding ground for sadistic monsters.

[@valdia127]

I used to have SUCH an extreme obsessive issue due to “favorite person” from bpd, which was always my worst symptom. It’s nonexistent now that I’m properly medicated, but it used to take over my brain. I remember not being able to take tests in school a few times because all I could think about was that person. I would beg my close female friend to text said girl that I would be such a good boyfriend to her, and obviously she never did, but I started asking if I could have her account information to text her myself because she would, “always forget,” (obviously an excuse because of how fucking psycho it is). I would learn my “favorite person’s” class schedule and try to make sure I would bump into them throughout the day EVEN THOUGH WE WOULD ALWAYS HANG OUT. I would tell them how horrible the guys they’re talking to are and that they’ll cheat on them, etc, to try to get them to stop being into them. I would try to plan ways that I could get them to have feelings for me, but it’s not a mathematical equation obviously, so logic can’t create love. There was one girl that I was obsessed with that I created a delusion in my head that she wasn’t into me and she was just leading me on (as many girls had) because there were countless guys into her, so I sent her a huge text and blocked her. Turns out, she liked me back. A large part of my insomnia, and I mean I would go days without sleeping, was because I would constantly think about my “favorite person.” It isn’t cute. These people need help. The severe obsession typically comes from personality disorders and they need a lot of therapy (and typically medication as well) to treat. It’s debilitating how uncontrollable it can be. I didn’t list all the issues I would have, as I forget many of them since it’s been so long, but it’s horrific and cannot be praised, but also shouldn’t be shunned. I really wish this subreddit was for supporting people that are struggling rather than encouraging it.

[@Lillith.]

When I was a teen I had an obsessive boyfriend. It was terrifying. I had to break up 3 times (2 times in person, but he didn't get the memo, so I turned to social media). Blocked him everywhere and he still managed to contact me. It was terrifying. Please respect people's boundaries.

[@futaba-tian]

No matter how late it is, if Cue posts a video, I watch it. It's a tradition at this point (I think I've been with this channel for about 3 years 🤔). Really helps me to relax. And I'm drinking water diligently too 👍

[@Bullen_3]

Disgusting. These people are enabling each other's garbage behavior. And this shit can ruin innocent people's lives.

[@futaba-tian]

(Second comment - for the algorithm gods) Cue is reading my mind today: incels were the first word I thought of when he was reading the 2nd and the 3rd posts. They do sound extremely similar in the way they are obsessed over their ideas (and addictions). Also, both groups need major help and therapy. But instead, they find a whole group of enablers on the internet and this is both sad and horrifying.

[@wittoist]

I thought pro-ED was pro Erectile Dysfunction. I thought it was weird that people would boast about it but I'm not going to kink shame. Then I worked it out 🤣

[@spockezri]

i was in a relationship with someone like this! at first i was understanding and flattered, but i started to feel HEAVILY dehumanized after a while and it was miserable. i felt like their whole mental health relied on me all the time. i just literally blocked them on everything and worried for months stalking THEIR blog scared i caused them to kill themself sometimes. it was that bad. (i checked up for a couple months, they didn't die so i assume they didn't) idk i still hope they're well and i don't think they're a bad person at all. i just think they need to stop getting into relationships for a while. which i'm doing bc i have almost dated exclusively people who are obsessive over me like this.

[@extremelyhappysimmer]

The language they're using is that of yandere, a trope in anime and fanfiction. What they're not understanding is that those things are fun in fiction, not real life. None of the things they see in anime or stories should be done in real life. They're just going to destroy themselves and their potential love lives.

[@Duckthesystem29]

I second this. I dated someone for 2 years of my life and this relationship fucked me up mentally. He used to frequent this type of communities and claimed he was an "irl yandere". He would constantly demand attention, tried to isolate me from my friends and family, manipulated me in many ways even going as far as to threaten suicide. He took advantage of my turbulent relationship with my family to create a codependent relationship between us and it fucked me up. It honestly disgusts me so damn much to see people glorifying this and incentivizing the behavior bc as a victim I can only imagine if their targets are feeling the same as I did, if they felt as sick as I did while having someone taking over their life in such a toxic and harmful way. I thankfully escaped this relationship but had to block him in every platform possible bc he reached out to me everywhere after the break up to try and berate me.

[@kuromi8384]

8:02 yes you do, its called therapy. As someone who has BPD and is prone to "obsessing" or being overly infatuated with a partner or friend, these people need intensive counseling. I've ruined too many friendships by being too intense with my infatuation. With therapy (and a shit ton of self-awareness) I've learned to control it. There is hope for these people, but they won't get better until they accept that it is a problem that they need to fix. Also they need to get out of that community. Like you said these communities are similar to incel, pro ed, and pro SH. Being in an environment where everyone is telling you it's okay to be the way you are while you are actively harming other people or yourself, only makes you more unhealthy. These people need to gain some self-awareness, leave these communities, and get therapy.

[@rainhenderson8445]

I was part of the pro-ED community back in the day and the folks complaining about this subreddit "not being the real thing anymore" definitely have similar vibes to that. And uh... As someone who is diagnosed on the spectrum, being autistic is not an excuse for this behavior.

[@irl-hajime]

I am very interested in the psychology of people being obsessed with another person, which is why I indulge in subreddits and posts about stuff like this. I don't endorse it and I think nobody should but it doesn't make it any less interesting or captivating

[@watcherboy2723]

me and other ppl ik who have autism do get attachments / obsessions with people, however most of us have the decency to not let it effect their lives negitively. I get what i call friend fixations ( its gotten less frequent not that im on anti depressants ) where I basically talk / want to talk to someone all the time and my mood basically is dependent based off of them. I can talk to other friends i dont like / love them any less than this person but i just feel so elated and into the convos or being around them. It can come and go but those who ive had these feelings abt tend to stay when i catch up with them, even if the fixation itself is gone. My life is normal, I dont pester them and i dont get mad or expect them to cater to my emotions. My other friend ik who has this basically will talk abt their friends to me since i dont live near them, they tend to have alot of photos, learn abt their interests etc. Basically never act manipulative and respect the boundaries they want ( ie not calling if they dont want to, if they dont like photos, if they are uncomfortable with talking to you dont try and chase them down etc. ) Ive never done these but ppl who have been creepy to me / others ik in the past have and thats basically the difference between what i like to call a fixation and stalking. Dont try and reach out if theyve made it clear they dont like you

[@rheverend]

My boyfriend and I made sure to see each other every day for a year. Even if it was just for a moment, we’d go out of our way to make sure we spent time together to keep the streak going. If you haven’t already guessed, we did not work out, and I thank God for that. And yes, he cheated on me 😆

[@zack_a11ack]

As someone who used to be VERY active on self-harm Twitter and ED Twitter, I 100000% agree that this is an extremely bad sort of community. When I started on these communities, I was just drawing blood and skipping a few meals… by the time I left, I had to get stiches multiple times and began purging, not eating until dinner and sometimes even throwing that up, and ended up in the mental hospital with a severe SH addiction that I was only able to start to overcome thanks to a wonderful DBT therapist and an actually supportive and healthy relationship with my boyfriend. It is always advertised as a safe space but it is so competitive and so bad for your mental health.

[@birchbarks550]

Can't speak for the ana/Ed community on Reddit, but the thing you're talking about with competitiveness definitely exists, Tumblr used to be bad but now it has mellowed out and there is only a VERY small group left that's competitive and gatekeepy Twitter on the other hand is a horrible and insanely toxic place to be

[@Lavlikessquids]

the thing is what these ppl need is HELP! but this subreddit is nothing but an echo chamber

[@prettyinpinky5937]

Being stalked is scary af! Having things go missing, being watched! Not fun

[@saltpilled]

this is actually very reminiscent of the incel community. these posts remind me of how incels constantly argue about who is more of a truecel, or how they claim looksmax users arent REAL incels

[@KaylaNoelle1]

I was obsessed over by a coworker who lived down the hall from me and my ex. I don’t think it was quite as extreme as these but it turns out I’m autistic so I’m not really sure if I was able to interpret it accurately. He would always be very touchy, he’d give me free stuff randomly, if I needed help or even if my ex needed help he’d help out. My friends were extremely freaked out by it but I didn’t find it super concerning, I was just confused. He definitely saw me as a manic pixie dream girl type which apparently happens to autistic girls pretty commonly 🥲 if only I saw that as a sign and got diagnosed sooner!

[@closetgamer8315]

I am on the receiving end of a long-term obsession. I married the guy after 2 years of courting but that's a long story. All I can say is now that I've been getting mental health help and doing better for myself, I wish that I had thought things through. Unfortunately there are now children involved and there's no way to get out of this marriage without it being a mess.

[@tragedy-]

As someone who as been stalked both online and irl, THIS ISNT ROMANTIC!! It will not make the person love you, it will push them to a police station!

[@motherlessgoat72]

No, I don't want someone to be obsessed with me. Obsession comes with an idea that you own or are entitled to the object of your obsession, which isn't love and is extremely selfish. Love is mutual, sacrificial, and a choice made each day by each partner to dedicate themselves to one another to the best of their ability. They build each other up, expose their vulnerabilities, and grow stronger together in their weaknesses. When someone is obsessed with you, they love the idea of having you around. When somebody loves you, you're already a committed part of their life.

[@Shmoopsquiz]

ONE MONTH??? Ive been all the phone for a full day…and I thought that was a lot 😭😭

[@Plasticplas1]

0:42 Dude no. Me and my boyfriend were in discord 24/7 for about 4 months. Our longest continuous call was 4 days. Usually we would fall asleep and the wifi would reboot or something and one of us would get booted and kill the call. We got around that by having a private server but that just means waking up alone. I'm living with him now.

[@likeagdphoenix]

I was in a long distance relationship for a little under three years. It was obsessive, like the OP from around the 5 minute mark. He told me after the first month or so that he'd saved all of my profile pictures to his phone before he ever even messaged me the first time. It was terrifying and thrilling. It felt so flattering. In retrospect, it was a HUGE red flag and I should've cut things off then. That type of attention is attractive in theory. The reality is just not safe or healthy.

[@lunamajor9264]

I’m just delighted on the amount of content we’ve been getting from you Cue! Thank you :3

[@jandoel]

Your life can't be going well when you're gatekeeping stalking

[@WTFAREUDOING420]

And the subreddit is still alive and kicking...

[@torontomug]

as someone with rocd i genuinely worry about these people like it’s not healthy and relationships like this never end well. you are probably not in love with this person it’s just the idea of them + mental illness and i hope these people realize this :(

[@bonelesssardine640]

oh for the first post w the month long call: i have two buddies who are very close friends, they are basically perma on a discord call. IDK they just do it bc they live an ocean apart and its comforting looking at your device and seeing your buddy there. They mostly don't talk /mute when they need alone time 🐛

[@kaydwessie296]

I used to have a group chat like this, it was great

[@Raeliana.Kitagawa]

I was half expecting that subreddit being a yandere fan page or something of the same sorts

[@riddlemefish6217]

First post: My wife and I are on call all the time, every waking moment and we do sleep calls We share our alone time together as we wouldn't have it any other way. We arent always talking 100% but just spending time together We've been together almost a year now and we don't see this changing at all. We love each other's company and are always together despite our distance

[@moniquerodriguez3013]

lol at the sandpaper-smooth brain joke

[@yobber757]

I've been loving the more frequent uploads

[@666gotink]

Obsession and stalking is awful. It's been 16 years that I've been dealing with mine. Its scary and people don't take it seriously until something really really bad happens. Even being assaulted by him wasn't enough to get him serious time

[@rheverend]

This subreddit is a great ad for gun ownership 😂

[@jjadac3529]

6:00 TLDR: I enjoyed being obsessed over and stalked cause I was lonely, desperate and obsessed with someone unattainable. I geniune enjoyed it because I was sudicial and obsessed with another person who would never love me as he was already married and the person (non-married one) made me feel like someone cared for/about me in ways I didn't care about myself; they did not judge me nor shame me, I was their goddess but deep down I knew the non-married person only seen me as an object. I only enjoyed it because I was desperate for some form of connection, no matter the expense.. The non-married person ended up leaving me after he found someone equally obsessed with him and that moment inspired me to get therapy so I am the person typing here today.

[@TerraCitra]

im so glad youre uploading again cuestar, i sincerely hope everything is going alright with your life :)) love the vids❤

[@AnastasiaPlantlegs]

On many parts of tik tok there is definitely a dick measuring contest about who is the 'most' of any given thing. The most mentally ill, the most pierced and tatted, the most country. This is obviously a huge bastardization of the concept bc it's a lot more nuanced and the people with the wilder stories just tend to get the most traction, but when you see so many people within a certain community, I guess it's impossible not to start comparing yourself and others to those you are already familiar with.

[@Lauramahon1987]

I think the person wishing some one obsessed with them, is thinking that 'obsessive love' is akin to some teen show like Dawson's Creek or Cruel Intentions. It isn't.

[@_SonOfTheKing_]

I struggle with a more subtle version of this kind of emotion. When I fall in love, it doesn't just stay at infatuation or interest; it becomes so overwhelming it begins to hurt until I fully get over them. But, I don't stalk them or create a shrine about them... I know it's unhealthy. So, I do what I need to do to heal and make it subside. I even fell for my best friend a little bit ago, so I let her know how I felt. She rejected me, but in the kindest and most gentle way that she could. But, I let her know that I might act weird for a bit because of the fact that I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I thank the good Lord that she understood and actually offered emotional support and encouragement as I faced it all over again. I've talked to my therapist about it, and sought the help that I need. So now it's just a matter of healing from the trauma that caused these disordered thought patterns and emotions to fester. I wish nothing but Godspeed to anybody who also struggles with this, and is actively seeking recovery. 🙏❤️

[@amandaheasley426]

Excellent takes as always Cue, blind rage is the most valid response I can think of to people like these. There are many TRULY unacceptable behaviors and this is one of them

[@TuberoseKisser]

7:15 I mean.... they're not wrong. The entire post OP made and the responses was kinda cringe and felt like a yandere roleplay.

[@killjoy8372]

Not them gatekeeping stalking 😩

[@iceefuture8325]

Obsessive love sadly is a real thing. I'm not a poster on this sub, but I do browse there often. I'm in my first "healthy" relationship and have found out i'm obsessed with my partner. Its not like its a choice or concious thing SADLY because obsessive love is NOT COOL. I had to find out why I cry all day when I'm not with him, I had to find out why I have nightmares every night about him cheating on me, I had to find out where my extreme jealousy comes from. One day, he had to leave for work while I was over at his place. I got the thought of locking him up in the same room as I so it would only be us 2 forever. My own thought scared me and that was the day I did research and ended in this sub. I terrify myself and think I'm crazy. I found out this anxious and obsessive attachment style comes from childhood neglectment. I'll never post on the sub, but I'm happy it exists, maybe there is a way for me to deal with the mental troubles that come in this relationship, because they are only inside of me. My partner knows im dependent on him but I will NEVER hurt him or someone else. I can think rationally and CHOOSE to NOT BE A TOXIC PARTNER. and it hurts that my traumas make me feel and think horrible things. But I truely love my partner, and want them to be happy always. Our relationship is good, its great. And next year I can find help for my inner issues. Obsessive love is real, its NOT a CHOISE, but it IS A CHOICE how you DECIDE to TREAT YOUR PARTNER. please remember this, and dont pass your trauma onto your loved one.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

That first post, I can *kinda* relate, but not to that extent. When i was younger, i used to stay on skype calls super late into the night and we would fall asleep with each other, and sometimes talk a little bit before hanging up when we awoke. It was nearly every night for a month. But never had an ongoing call for more than like 16 hours.

[@MinouHime]

Second definition of extremities: the extreme degree or nature of something. -- So it was used correctly.

[@Onmybedroomfloor]

I used to be obsessive over people, never to the extent of physical stalking, harassment, or sneaky ways of breaking people apart but it ruined my life. It was miserable. It set me up for heartbreak over and over, until I met someone who obsessed over me and it freaked me out. It made me realize what was the root of my issues and the patterns I was repeating. I am fine now, I am no longer obsessive. After years of working on myself, I finally found someone who I am in a healthy relationship with that is void of obsession. Obsessive love shit is terrifying and so mentally ill.

[@Bugbreach]

I am a very obsessive person - thankfully never led to me being a stalker, just extremely jealous seeing the ones I love/loved being in relationships and all. Rational brain however, so I could tell they're happy and even if it was painful, I'd rather see the ones I had feelings for be in a happy, healthy relationship, than ruin their happiness for some obsessive tendencies of mine. Amongst other stuff I do have an interest in psychology, crime, horror, gore - did some research on it, seen a lot of icky things online and irl (for research and reference purposes for my art and characters mostly, other artists might relate) And with everything I've seen and everything I know - looking at these posts - they don't read real. Which is good I guess, but also incredibly sad and pathetic. I swear, those people who go on their little yandere forum and post stuff like "I will cook every girl he likes and feed them to him" or whatever that was, sounds more like my cringy weeb phase from when I was 14, rather than actual ill intend. These people would deflate if they ever had to look another human being in the eye and harm them. It's always so easy to imagine yourself be this badass, scary predator. Slashing your victims with no empathy or regrets. But actually doing it and being able to keep going afterwards like usual only works if your psyche is already in a specific state. There's a reason why even victims who acted in self defense are often traumatised for life. But go off, write your little yandere fanfic on reddit lmao

[@katem4065]

I was stalked all through 2021 and into this year and let me say… it was not a fun experience. Maybe it sounds nice to have someone want you, but not in the way these people want you.

[@PikachuLittle]

I heard “ED community” and my immediate thought was “wait there’s people gatekeeping Erectile Dysfunction?”

[@trickstercries]

not defending em but, blurring the names is prooobably a good idea so that they dont get sent like,, death threats?

[@brett8259]

"With her permission of course" of course you wouldn't want to be creepy or invasive while trying to catfish someone to intentionally sabotage someone's relationship.

[@kittychu7]

Oh, Ive also participated in these communities, but I wasn't in one that was encouraging of these behaviors, just kinda neutral about it. most of us have some extreme intrusive thoughts related to our obssessions that we share without actually acting on, i think.

[@ReginaBerg90]

I’ve been obsessed over. It’s horrible. Impossible to breathe without a ton of texts and calls.

[@throwaway2899]

I know this was from two years ago but I figured I'd put in my two cents for the question near the beginning: Before I moved in with one of my roommates and current partners (We were not together during this) we would be on call together for several months non-stop, sleeping on call, I won't say it wasn't a bit of a co-dependant relationship, but at the time we were both at such a mentally dark place and in unsafe places, that we needed each other to be there. The best way i could explain why, it is its like microdosing on living with someone. It wasn't a fun experience for either of us but we would've been much worse without the other. I want to say as well, just because my situation worked out, It doesn't mean that i support relationships like ones in this video. This behavior can be destructive and it actively has ruined my life in the past with previous relationships, being too obsessive, a bit controlling, jealous. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good hurting people you care so deeply for. The only reason I've been able to work out my relationships in the past and present is by recognizing that this behavior was harmful to those around me, and to myself especially. I had to learn to own it and make sure I didn't let my emotions effect how I acted towards others As my roommate always says: You are entitled to your emotions but responsible for your actions. I'm genuinely lucky that I learned early on what was going on with me. Theres much more to it but I'm going to be honest I'm stoned and I just want to finish the video at this point smthn smthn firm boundaries yknow. TLDR: I would stay on call with my roommate for upwards of 6 months 24/7 before they moved in with me, even taking phones to bed to continue calling while we sleep. Even then though I will say after a point sometimes I would mute myself for my own quiet time. Also the rest of the behavior in this subreddit is awful and is romanticizing something that can deeply hurt you and others

[@HellonWheels777]

Oh I relate to that first one, not because I did that but because my abusive ex never wanted to hang up. Clinginess is not cute, it's usually a red flag for someone who is the best not able to handle a healthy relationship right now and at worst one of those lovely types of people

[@joseconstanza8277]

I am very much in love with my gf we are on call nearly every single day but shit dude some of these guys just take things to 11 with their borderline obsession

[@w0rmboyd]

I think it makes sense for people to have a place to rant about shit in their lives, especially with people who are having the same issues. I dont think it should be encouraged necessarily unless it is in a safe, concensual way, but the need for a community with similar issues hits very close to home for me so i completely get it.

[@Butterflying356]

You say sorry for soemthing in the background of the mic and there’s literally nothing I can hear other than your voice or is that just me?

[@Chopperdragon39]

as an obsessive person myself I'm lucky I did not find that subreddit sooner, else i maybe could have got myself in some trouble

[@hinata167]

Ok on the “I wish there were more people like me” one I thought about how there’s a community of people who are into yanderes and stalker dating sims. Heck I’m into it but realistically most of us know that someone this obsessive would no doubt be controlling, abusive, and manipulative. The only people I think would honestly want this would be teens since they might not think that hard about how far it could go.

[@Duckthesystem29]

They indeed are, I dated a self proclaimed "irl yandere" for 2 years once. He isolated me from friends and family, demanded constant attention, guiltripped me every time I tried to set boundaries, berated me when I didn't do what he wanted, used to threaten self harm and even suicide sometimes in order to force me into where he wanted and many other things. He fucked me up badly and I still struggle to recover from all he did. This isn't cute or goals in any way. This is sickening and terrible for both parties because codependency is one of the worst dynamics out there. These people should get treatment instead of indulging on these behaviours.

[@sigbel5220]

I feel like a lot of communities end up like this sometimes. I don't know the original purpose for the subreddit, whether it was to find people with the same mentality to discuss their issues and how to deal with obsessive love in a better way, or if it was made for people to just fester in it. I feel that a lot of communities for mental health struggle with going between helping each other get better to exacerbating the problem. Part of it does come from content moderation in my opinion. At what point do mods take down a post because sometimes it helps to state these issues a loud, but can still encourage the behavior? Who gets to be able to explain themselves and who doesn't? I am part of ocd communities online and even within these I feel some people are shamed for certain things. Ocd comes with some really terrible thoughts and some types are banned from being talked about (partly due to tos, but people do judge). And understand not wanting have a platform for it because if the wrong people find it, it leads to a whole bunch if other issues (I am being vague, just know that this specfic subtype had bad thoughts, but the people who have it are not bad people and are not looking for others who find enjoyment in these thoughts, but others who suffer from it). And I still feel having a place where they can talk with others who suffer from the same things and professionals without being shamed and judged is important. I don't have much experience with the obsessive love community. I don't even want to look at the subreddit myself. From your video I just feel bad for these people. They need serious fucking help, and having a community where they can talk about their problems without being shamed helps. But this, this is not helping and its clearly just a place for their behaviors to be encouraged.

[@KrispyKitty66]

Im in an ed community currently that i vent in and conect with people in. The hierarchy is definitely there

[@leruetheday377]

I've been on the receiving end of obsessive affection and I still have nightmares about two of them. I kissed the first guy in second grade and he was still bragging about it in tenth grade. A girl pestered me to go out with her for two and a half years until I was so emotionally and physically exhausted that I agreed I make her stop asking. The most recent guy pretended to be my friend for about two years so he could wait until I was intoxicated enough that he could molest me without consequence. None of them are still in my life

[@kittychu7]

yeah so I've got BPD, not that its an excuse or anything. I do relate to obssessive love people because I'm an obssessive lover. To me, a month long call sounds amazing. For me, being with someone all the time sounds great too. Ive got attachment issues and trauma but I'm in therapy. You wanted to hear from people who related. I'm totally open to any questions people might have.

[@motherhoodempowerment7012]

My instinct is that these ppl have mommy/daddy issues and after puberty, these issues are exaggerated and seeking resolution in romantic relationships.

[@maddybee15]

Loving the daily videos cue !!! Thank you for your service

[@Sandstimes]

I love these tropes in fiction but the fact there are people who proudly do this irl make me never want to go outside again lol

[@BiologicalComputer]

Sorry that one person mentioned COLLECTING??

[@umbrasunbro2142]

To the fist question yes, but also no. My friends and I had a Skype group back in the day for gaming that was alway in call because since we were in different parts of the world someone was always on somewhere. And some people just muted when they were away.

[@KerriB]

1:22 it's so concerning that some people seriously act like this!

[@miranda9473]

The place to talk about their issues is fucking therapy

[@azumihayami7199]

I think you should have left this subreddit alone, they arent hurting you.

[@shaywilliams9223]

You know, just like the people who glorify the Bundys and Dahmers of the world, I wonder if any of their perspectives would shift even a little if they were to meet actual victims of obsessive lovers/stalkers.

[@denysebrooks8770]

I’ve fallen asleep on the phone with my partner before and still had the line be open in the morning.