Cumtown: "Bullying" Tom Myers

[@Bobbleheads56]

I love when he goes “they dont like puns i guess” after he didnt make a pun

[@greyfells2829]

It was a pun about arms and the right to bear arms, but it was so weak and tenuous that it doesn't really work.

[@Aquaterra87]

He thought he was saying "take up arms"

[@Chaelsonen]

@@greyfells2829 ive listened to it 4 times, and while I have no doubt he thinks he tied it together like you said its so weak its basically just him saying the words american revolution, then he expects you to just brainstorm random things about it lol

[@PaddyMcMe]

@@Chaelsonen That's why he's the thinking man's comedian. He doesn't spoon feed it to you like Hicks, Burr, Chappelle, etc. He makes you work for it.

[@B.C.101]

​@@PaddyMcMe Yeah that "bong hit transplant" quote really made me think.

[@trashmoneyyt]

"I've never been mean to Tom" "I come up with fictional bookings in the middle of the country for him."

[@drrockkso8882]

When he said that line I had this vision of Tom doing standup in front of a half-dozen homeless people in the parking lot of some abandoned Kmart in Bumblefuck, Ohio because the guys made up a fake comedy festival there and booked Tom as the headliner.

[@dedmin6119]

Imagine buying a rotten banana and then the cashier puts you on his comedy album

[@TimmyMcGowan]

your wife just had a life-saving operation, so you’re all flustered running to the closest store to buy her anything that might make her feel better and when you get to the checkout your mind is racing and you’re embarrassed at what a poor job you did of picking out food so as you half-heartedly explain what’s happening you catch both barrels to the face and are blasted with the hardest dunk of all time

[@josephtownsend7481]

​@@TimmyMcGowanIf I was asked if I had a bong hit transplant I would cry

[@isosceleskramer9565]

@@TimmyMcGowanpottery

[@kevinwalton1055]

Tom's life is so very close to the first half of Joker's origin story.

[@jared2Hundo]

You fucking nailed it, haha.

[@SimonStrange]

It'll probably end like Joker 2

[@TheBigLubelsky]

Hopefully he also plays the part of Murray in HIS story

[@Oceanmachine27]

It's so weird because all his jokes are maybe 85-90% normal setup but then they take a WILD, veering left turn at the last minute and arrive at a punchline that no other human being would use. You'd think he would land a joke once or twice by sheer accident but he NEVER does.

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

Tom is one of the funniest comedians i've ever heard. Unfortunately just not for the reason he wants or thinks.

[@obsidiancrow450]

for real. the headstone setup is unironically really good but then just belly flops the landing lmfao

[@davidlee9870]

I think Nick was right, Tom’s magnum opus is ‘Bong hit transplant’ the setup is horrible and doesn’t justify the punch line, but it is a killer line.

[@drrockkso8882]

You know how pop/rap producers will sometimes bring in a guy who specializes in writing a hook for a song that's like 80% complete but needs a catchy chorus or riff to tie it together? Tom needs someone like that for his jokes. He sometimes actually comes up with decent foundational premises for jokes, but they just never land because his punchlines make no fucking sense. If he hired a writing partner to fix his punchlines he might actually deliver some decent material.

[@garlottos]

Liaten to the first 2 minutes of a Tom Myers vs the World podcast. He does something like a late-night talk show monologue, and the setup is there, but most of the jokes make zero sense

[@condor237]

Hipster ironic talk show? Foreshadowing TAFS

[@foodchewer]

I was thinking the exact same thing lol! Funny how shit works out

[@mrscruffles801]

Gets way more views too

[@CreamedCorn2002]

@@foodcheweryup

[@Obiniu]

@@foodchewer as if cumtown was anything else than a hipster ironic podcast

[@ItsPapaEddy]

I’ve watched and listened to the bong hit transplant bit so many times, my favorite part is the tiny exhale after the punchline, followed by silent applause

[@SirBallsDeepOfHouseManthrust]

Yeah I love that little breath he takes.😂

[@myquest666420]

Lol he does it after the Hilary Clinton joke too. The autistic sigh. Chris Chan does it too

[@Theycallmethek3]

So many comedians do that tiny exhale I can't stand it

[@Theycallmethek3]

So many comedians do that tiny exhale I can't stand it

[@SaudiHaramco]

Adam trying to sound smart by bringing up the myth of Sisyphus and Stav trying to sound greek by correcting him even though he has no idea what he's talking about is perfectly on brand lol

[@pocketgrim4942]

Is knowing about sisyphus smart?? You learn about that in 7th grade lol

[@itsv1p3r]

Stav is only familiar with icarus

[@SaudiHaramco]

@@itsv1p3r He definitely knows all the mythological characters that are typical names for greek restaurants

[@MoDeegroes]

Yes. Fake intellectualism is key to Stav's persona. Adam really is, kind of intelligent....but Stav is a certified f00l

[@fartquaviasdingle7876]

@@pocketgrim4942 It's not really as much "knowing" it's applying the lessons to presumably a modern situation in a way that isn't forced, WHILE being funny. Still, it's not Albert Einstein stuff, but I bet if you asked 10 people who sisyphus was, at most like 4 would say yes. Nobody gives a shit about that stuff after 7th grade, and really nobody should unless you're like, a teacher.

[@schertt]

All I can think about are the 9/11 first responders running into the towers thinking "This is my job, like how Tom Myers tells jokes"

[@SamPanamaOfficial]

6:24 "Tom Myers, a comedian!" Some burns just sting more than others.

[@EmpureMedia]

“I’ve been dragged kicking & screaming into the year 2007” is forever burned into my psyche

[@creamcannon825]

Same year as the release of Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

[@patrickmartin7242]

That’s a solid line

[@DeathhAU]

Adam fills with boyish glee getting the opportunity to pile on and bully someone instead of himself

[@yojeli]

He's filled with boyish pee

[@briani50]

@jemimallah you’re not much better. That being said, neither am I 🥲

[@dogma7346]

vibes of that kid who was bullied but then a new gayer kid joined class and he was promoted to the bullies bottom henchman

[@mattsterh7740]

​@jemimallah you shouldnt be defending your 30 year old son ms friedman

[@johnnymolinski1881]

'bugish' glee.

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

Hell yes. 49:00 minutes in, after all that evidence, Nick saying "I've never been mean to Tom" just completes it

[@jochenklausberger9076]

He really is that guy. :D

[@matthewpalmer9820]

Nick has never bullied Tom.

[@willshields4480]

The fact I can recite the Bong Hit Transplant bit word for word is probably an indicator I'm not where I should be in life

[@childsoIdier]

Ive tried pot

[@yojeli]

But have you had a bong hit transplant

[@creamcannon825]

I've tried sex

[@mimbo2479]

Tom Myers is unironically funny, he just doesn't know it

[@phokit3459]

But if he ever realizes it, he won’t be.

[@ItsPapaEddy]

He’s post-post-ironic comedy. Layers and layers of unknown genius

[@Joemama-so1hu]

“Bong hit transplant” you think that’s unironicaly funny,….

[@MadJackChurchill1312]

Like Red Scare but not annoying.

[@ervin7178]

@@Joemama-so1huif someone famous said that everyone would think it was funny and it would get a big laugh from the crowd

[@zapnoxo5058]

DAAAD, i asked for a GPS!

[@JamiesonMcGowan]

"I'm in a bit of a weird mood myself"

[@ravage238]

“I’ve tried pot” lmfao

[@mrscruffles801]

I love hiw he says it like it makes him cool, that he _tried_ pot, one of the easiest and tamest drugs to get into.

[@drrockkso8882]

​@mrscruffles801 It's not even really a "drug" at this point. It's legal (or basically legal) in like half the US now. Smoking weed is not a countercultural thing anymore, it's mainstream.

[@bokoura]

@@drrockkso8882 The word "drug" has nothing to do with legality or counterculture.

[@2200Stinger]

@@drrockkso8882Tom is still mentally in 2006 when there was no legalization

[@ricknochefort4941]

Hearing them laugh in the background makes Tom 10 times funnier.

[@mukesh_bombay]

Nick said “I’ve never said anything bad about Tom” after nearly an hour of saying bad things about Tom

[@PaddyMcMe]

I literally discovered Tom Myer's today but he has immediately becomes an all time comedic great for me. The guy genuinely needs to be celebrated, it's a minor tragedy that Tom Myers isn't beloved the same way Tommy Wiseau is. The thing with Tom, as with all great comedians, is that the more analysis and context that can be provided for the jokes the funnier they become. Once you begin to appreciate his manic, schizophrenic rationale and philosophy of humour you see that there is very real method to his madness. Despite all cursory indications he is NOT bombing on stage and just flapping his gums to make up time because he's so overwhelmed by the moment. Tom Myers is a SERIOUS comic, and JUST like ANY Firefighter rescuing people from burning buildings he too is a master of his, most vital and socially important, calling. Just ask him!

[@zooweemama911]

I’m gay.

[@wodidos]

Well put, he‘s truly an artist. Also I‘m gay

That rules. It's also gay.

[@bentolinmaddox9806]

Follow his socials. He’s a toxic and mindless stooge. He makes it VERY hard to like him, even if it’s an ironic affinity.

[@bionicle2122]

​@j.bar3.077what he's saying is you and I should make out

[@CosmicL407]

They guy yelling "yeah and woo" is literally nick Mullen

[@Tyler-qh9jm]

"your hairline starts at the back of your earlobes" brutal

[@yojeli]

Fucking hilarious

[@jahram9940]

"Its .. what i do"

[@drrockkso8882]

I love that he refers to standup as his "job". Tom, your job is 7-11 cashier. Standup is your hobby.

[@Happ567]

Literally the reincarnation of bill hicks… if he was dropped as a baby and also gay

[@TheRepublicOfJohn]

dropped as a baby? Yes. Gay? No👏 chance 👏 queen 👏

[@Joyceages]

TOM MYERS: A COMEDIAN

[@Farmgoth]

The "being Hillary's intern but I quit smoking" bit has potential.

[@therearenonamesinthevoid5772]

Bullying? More like undeserved publicity for a fellow comic.

[@mattwilliams1751]

I literally had Tom Meyers deliver my food on DoorDash today. Mind you, this is in Bel air MD. I asked him why he was dashing and he said it was “for insurance purposes” lol. Also I’m gay

[@brothermanner]

For legal reasons

[@cuniculi666]

I think the British are coming dude

[@janberkemeier7406]

It's funnier in written form

[@drrockkso8882]

​@@janberkemeier7406Because in written form you can imagine it being delivered in a funny way. When Tom says it you have no choice but to hear Tom's delivery.

[@eedoamitay3341]

The most interesting thing to me is the subtle respect Nick gives to Tom as a comedian to at least attempt to do the jokes the way Tom performs them, with the cadence and timing, I think on some level Nick really does consider him a friend or long-time acquaintance

[@AardvarkProductionsZach]

"It's like getting pulled over by Sam's club" hearing that just now, me currently almost through my shift at Sam's Club, nearly put me in cardiac arrest

[@PeterBondeVillain]

I love your little autistic mouse spasms you do when you score in the game, good for you dude

[@mikeg4691]

13:40, literally one of the latest episodes of tafs, Nick, as a 35 year old man, complained about how a little bit of pee gets into his pants after pissing.

[@onanotherlevel85]

Walked past Tom in the wild two days ago and will forever be bummed I didn’t stop him for a picture. He was wearing a COVID mask so I couldn’t be sure it was him, but messaged him on Instagram later and he confirmed it was.

[@eraserhead8646]

"...some hipster ironic talk show..." Sounds like the Adam friedland show

[@tomsnowden6201]

This guy straight up tried to make a bill hicks set, he does certain tones and delivery that is DIRECTLY lifted from hicks. But he's not funny or clever.

[@txblly1055]

Tom Myers is a genius

[@matthewpalmer9820]

No one knows what you're trying to say.

[@HinDoongEe]

With Tom, how do you take the comedian alter ego of Alex Jones and become a staunch democrat who wants to have sex with Hillary Clinton?

[@thesmogo]

Bill Hicks is kinda lame tbh

[@myquest666420]

@@thesmogoonly because of the people who worship him

[@denhamjeanz8038]

My mind is so filled with gay thoughts that I only just realized the hillary clinton joke is insinuating that he wants to eat out hillary clinton in the oval office which I'm not at all surprised by

[@mrniceguy7168]

How didn’t you notice that? What, did you have a bong hit transplant?

[@CurtisC685]

Tom is working with like the OS of Brick from anchorman. He’s the type of guy to say “remember when I had that dream that one time”

[@jared2Hundo]

The bong hit transplant joke actually hits, lmfao.

[@drrockkso8882]

Tom Myers is one of those compulsive liars who thinks people believe what he's saying, but really it's just that the stories he makes up are so boring and pointless that no one even cares enough to bother questioning them.

[@patrickmartin7242]

You gotta love it

[@TakeNoteOfThat]

Tom does that weakling sigh thing after any joke he thinks might have been bordering on bad taste.

[@drrockkso8882]

Tom's standup is like 95% corny dad jokes but in his mind he genuinely thinks he's doing really edgy, controversial material.

[@peterlarkin626]

I think the British are coming dudes!

[@Mtv-get-off-thee-air]

Why has no one put the Joker music over Tom Myers stand up?

[@cindervarela5118]

I really think that there should be a Tom myers cameo in the new joker movie.

[@Matt-zp4oc]

Ive never been more worried about a guy going bananas mode and killing a podcaster LMAO

[@BarackLesnar]

you mean excited

[@hashvendetta7226]

​@@BarackLesnar I agree. There is only one catharsis.

[@tropicaljupiter]

Dirty bananas mode

[@atmbcito]

@@tropicaljupitermouldy bananas mode

[@Mechomittencaterpillar]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Tom Myers. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical listener’s head. There's also Tom’s schizophrenic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Bill Hicks’s stand-up, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Tom Myers truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Tom’s existential catchphrase “Bong-Hit Transplant” which itself is a cryptic reference to the American Pot Revolution. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Tom Myers’s genius wit unfolds itself on their streaming platforms. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Tom Myers tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

[@hughlion1817]

Hell yeah dude

[@Mechomittencaterpillar]

Also, I’m gay.

[@blakecharres]

​@camerontriplett9199 Hey yeah dude you're as gay as Adam is cool.

[@kurtv7638]

Marvellous

[@colonialstraits1069]

You’re clearly not as smart as you think you are and any woman that would allow herself to be alone with you, is about 5 IQ points below you.

[@coolandimpressive]

That speed monitored by aircraft bit is a jerry seinfeld bit

[@condor237]

Seinfeld NEVER speeds in a school zone

[@pingas2467]

@@condor237 boy are my arms tired

[@Backswell]

No wonder why it sucked

[@Chaelsonen]

I prefer kramers take on it.

[@alpharoo2581]

@@pingas2467 guess this comment section isn't a fan of puns

[@sweethen]

If it wasn't for the boys I would have NEVER learned about "bong hit transplant" and my life would have been much less fulfilled.

[@montrealbreakcore3241]

as much as I try to challenge myself, I can't imagine what I could come up with to beat "bong hit transplant" in any possible regard

[@deezyD93]

I also love Luis inviting Tom on RAP and Tim Dillon and Luis just roast tom the entire episode 😂

[@reeetawd]

Tom is a gift from God that none of us deserve

[@Azrael__]

This is a true art form, making jokes so bad that it's funny how terrible they are.

[@mrscruffles801]

This is the future of comedy right here, just bomb so spectacularly that it loops around to being funny again

[@Verbose-ir7sf]

@@mrscruffles801hat’s literally what Tim Heidecker does as a set, but it’s actually funny

[@maegnificant]

​@@Verbose-ir7sfoh you beat me to it. I found it funny tbh.

[@coreygolpheneee]

​@@Verbose-ir7sfthen he didnt commit to the bit, you cant make the room but half good, thats just a terrible film, what makes shit like the room good is that its unaware of why its bad, but informed enough to make every wrong decision, car accidents happen every day and go unoticed by most of the world, a building falls over and its written about in the history books

[@drrockkso8882]

@coreygolpheneee Yeah, The Room is fascinating not just because it's poorly-made, but because of all the bizzare choices Tommy Wiseau made throughout the production, like: every character exclusively referring to Lisa as Johnny's "future wife" instead of just using the word "fiancee" like normal people do; having a random scene where the guys play football in tuxedos for no reason; building a fake rooftop set and greenscreening a city skyline background instead of just shooting on an actual rooftop, etc. Every scene in the film is filled with strange and unnecessary details like this make you constantly wonder what Wiseau was thinking when he decided to do it that way.

[@jpomz1]

I like Adam making fun of Tom for pissing and shitting himself when Adam shit himself on mic

[@wendigo2442]

The fucking graves

[@trancebodega2739]

Tom is Nick. literally zero evidence has surfaced over all these years that they arent the same person

[@PaytonsOwnProductions]

This changes everything. I'm so incredibly gay.

[@Zumbah2]

"after you smoke pot you do not feel like going off and starting a revolution" yes tom i do

[@OneHellOfASandwich]

That “but uh” bit was funnier than him actually saying a joke

[@System-ly6de]

this is one of the funniest videos on the internet idc

[@rileybobbert6527]

the only thing more boring than watching soccer is watching someone play a soccer management game

[@CreamedCorn2002]

Soccer isn’t boring

[@rileybobbert6527]

@@CreamedCorn2002 compared to every other sport it is

[@acksawblack]

@@rileybobbert6527yank

[@cxsey8587]

Tom Myers, the original redditor

[@GriffinDuyThespian]

lmaoooooooo i did a few mics & shows with him in DC and one time he made a joke about the host then tried to riff a punchline about his mom's tits when the host couldn't have been a nicer jovial dude 😅fuckin madams organ dude

[@MrSleepyweezul]

So I'll admit, I wasn't really paying attention to this until they played the clip of Tom at the show. I didn't pick up on the sarcasm, so I thought they were just talking up some friend of theirs... But once I actually heard the man himself... Holy fuck, dude. I have never cringelaughed harder in my gay, small-penised life.

[@MileHighMagic42069]

3:16 I want to recut that Tool song that opens with the Bill Hicks bit about famous musians and drugs and replace it with Bong Hit Transplant

[@justcommenting4981]

The tombstone story was pretty funny.

[@drrockkso8882]

The tombstone story is actually a lot darker than Tom realizes. Tom thinks his dad pre-purchasing his gravestone and burial plot is simply his dad being weird. He doesn't realize that his dad did this because he knows Tom will never have a wife or kids, so when Tom eventually dies there won't be any next of kin around to handle his funeral arrangements. So his parents are making those arrangements now, while they're still alive, in preparation for the inevitable future in which their son dies alone with no one to bury him. The gravestone story is painfully tragic and depressing in a way Tom doesn't even understand.

[@thomasdapig6974]

@@drrockkso8882😭thats terrible

[@atmbcito]

@@drrockkso8882Ermm... Dad..! I Asked for a GPS!! 😂😂😂

[@SherryNiles1312]

Tom has zero sense of humor over his sudden explosion in popularity because of this haha . He’s delusional and it’s hilarious

[@ItsToColdInMN]

“Hipster Ironic talk show” you mean the adam friedland show? We’ve really come full circle

[@genxerfool9797]

Strong Paul giamatti vibes

[@crofty_92]

Yeah, i'm in kind of a weird mood myself.

[@Chromeize]

You can count the anount of laughs he got during that "set".. theres bombing, and then there's THAT.

[@jonvia]

Bong Hit Transplant sounds like a reggae band mon and da ganja keep growin for jah mon

[@fro_e]

De lord put de ganja in de eart it is a healthy erb

[@itsv1p3r]

They dont like puns i dont think 😐

[@mantistoboggan537]

What exactly is the payoff of Tom’s “intern in Hillary’s White House” joke supposed to be? That he wants her to be president so that he could be her intern, so that she can molest him with a cigar to get back at Bill? I really want to know- what part did he intend to be funny?

[@Goldarlives]

The idea that a grown man wants to perform cunnilingus on Hilary Clinton and he says it like we’re supposed to find it appealing

[@RH_Chillin]

Tom Meyers humor gives me a real Chris Chan kinda vibe. Why do they call it pepper spray if it's not pepper? Kinda shit

[@thestraydog]

"You don't have to tell me twice! But back in the stone age..." 😂

[@ghhn4505]

Tom is an honorary member of Cumtown

[@SpiritOfMontgomery]

I love the FM gameplay, cause i genuinely listen to this while playing lmao

[@5686darryl]

i'm gay

[@cmccuan]

This podcast has inspired me to be a connoisseur of garbage as a profession.

[@michaelclark1811]

Tom Meyers is the only comedian that’s ever made Mullen laugh

[@jlol933]

After this video I genuinely wanna go watch more Tom myers stand up.

[@brandonwilkinson893]

Tom Meyers is a comedian's comedian's comedian😂😂😂

[@Wnick56]

He wants to be bill hicks so bad it hurts

[@crmsnfnk7643]

"I've tried pot" - L word N word

[@cmolaskeyj]

the once and future king

[@timecode37]

Truly a comics comic

[@taylorjonesL]

His revolutionary war pot thing bit is clearly trying to do a Bill Hicks type thing the writing, timing and stage presence are just off, Bill could take that premise and make it work.

[@strangebrew1231]

Even trying the mouth sound effects like Bill did and still getting it wrong

[@NitroLemons]

I think you're right, it definitely feels like something he might do

[@Creed_fan_69]

It’s essentially the bill hicks bit about pot and road rage

[@BadOpticon]

If you ever need a dose of douche chills just replay that Ed Schrader segment. Never fails and over heard it tens of times

[@bear5945]

I think the British are coming dudes 🤪

[@Tomyboy1897]

A hipster ironic talk show. Sounds gay. I'm very interested

[@CurtisC685]

He’s like the real version of the hack comedian from the sopranos

[@lukepedersen9681]

Crazy how this opens w nick describing the Adam Friesland show

[@shnoogums1]

Man if I didn’t know this guy was bill hicks I would think it was bill hicks. What a hack

[@user-ie8qp9gj4p]

I was just thinking of mom tyres! Thanks ghosts in the algorithm

[@josiahjindrich7874]

Dad I asked for a GPS is so good

[@flyingeyefpv]

“Tom Myers, a comeediaan!”

[@agking50]

Missing the part where they talk about Tom Myers stealing Frankie Boyle’s jokes and Scottish accent Premium Episode 85 @ 38:30

[@netryeder]

Thanks, you answered my question. There used to be a Tom compilation with this material added, but it has been removed and I have been looking for this. Still looking for the clip with back-to-back Frankie Boyle and Tom material making it 100% obvious Tom stole the bit and even the accent.

[@nathanmoore6602]

Can’t believe I’m from the same county as Tom fucking myers

[@yojeli]

And hitler

[@Mechomittencaterpillar]

Hello havre de grace!

[@VersusArdua]

I love how you search Tom and the first result is a C-town compilation

[@robertbogan7557]

Wait nick took the "i think the british are coming dude" from tom meyers??