CysterWigs Tips: How to deal with the insecurity of hair loss

Impromptu video about the insecurities and overwhelming nature of learning to make peace with your new alternative-hair-wearing reality.
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www.cysterwigs.com
Question is in reference to a thread on the Alopecia World message boards: www.alopeciawor...
Reference for 50% of women will lose hair by age 50 stat: www.nahrs.org/P...
Reference for 40% of all people with profound hair loss are women stat: www.nahrs.org/P...

[@killmydreamdorothy8800]

Wow Heather, you're so sweet and encouraging. You gave amazing advice. I have Trichotillomania and I can relate to the insecurities discussed here. Thank you for this compassionate video!💕

[@deestatham]

Wonderful advice! Just get over it! I actually enjoy, at the appropriate time, to share my secret so others can benefit from it. Its amazing how they react and want to do the same thing. I feel good knowing I looked that good that others want to do it too. Wear it with confidence, walk tall, knowing how great you look. And know that there are more wigs out there then you think!

[@karens2318]

You rock!! Such great advice and encouragement. I hope the lady in the post sees this. I can totally relate to what you said. I have hereditary hair loss as well. Started with sprinkling keratin fibers on my head but was still self conscious so turned to toppers then most recently wigs. Started wearings wigs to work last week. My co-workers joked at how quick my hair grew overnight. Lol. Got tons of compliments on how great my "hair" looked. Like you said we are not alone. Its normal for women to experience hair loss. Thats a comfort! Thanks Heather for all that you do for us ladies. :)

[@TheWigWoman]

Heather, THIS is the video that changed everything for me. 💛💛

[@cupofnuts]

I saw this video this morning. I see you made it years ago but thank you so much. I went through menopause and my hair really thinned. Then my MS medication stopped working and I needed something stronger but it caused even more hair loss. It’s been about three months adjusting to finding the right wigs, makeup etc. it is an adjustment and I was so surprised to find out that there is so many women dealing with this and I’m not alone. I knew there were some but I really didn’t realize the reality of the numbers the problem. I just got to the point where I thought “What does a girl do when she loses something? She buys more!” I’m not going to hide it but I’m going to own it like every other monkey on my back, every other malady that I’ve had to deal with. Eyeglasses, bilateral knee replacements now hearing aids and finally wigs! What the heck is next. Bring it on!! I now have 13 wigs. LOL

[@CysterWigs]

You're are not alone! Thank you for sharing your story with us! - CysterWigs Team

[@rhondalyn100]

Thank you. I needed to hear every minute of this. Acceptance is so difficult...

[@CysterWigs]

Thank you so much, rhondalyn! I'm glad to be of help. It's hard to lose your hair as a woman, and it's important not to feel alone. Have you checked out the blogs on our webpage? Lots of people in the same boat as us.

[@AC-tn1cy]

Bravo! Well said. I dont have hairloss, but I do have fine thin hair from partial thyroidectomy... but shaving my head for brain tumour awareness fundraiser May 2018. Although my hair loss is by choice and I want to show people what the reality is as well~ that alot of people dont have a choice when they have brain cancer or brain tumour surgery. I may want to wear wigs and continue to do so after my head is shaved. What an inspiration you are to all women with hairloss or thinning hair.

[@CysterWigs]

Thank you so much, Andrea! And all the best on your fundraiser efforts!

[@AC-tn1cy]

CysterWigs Thank you Heather!❤

[@raizelm1578]

Thank Heaven for people like you. After Cancer treatment my hair texture changed as it grew back. It used to be thick, straight with a few waves and silky, now its thin, coarse and the salt and pepper grey hair is yellowish not a pretty silveror white. My hair feels almost wiry, like straight horsehair. So depressing.

[@CysterWigs]

I'm glad you found the video helpful, Raizel. Many of my customers (and me!) have lost hair for all kinds of reasons, and at all kinds of ages. I've heard all their stories. It's never easy, but it does help to know you're not alone.

[@wigescape6099]

Heather, I have been lurking for a long time watching your videos. Finally got up enough nerve to post. Lol, "get over yourself" believe it or not did help me. I tend to be a very direct person and I love that about your videos and your "no nonsense" approach. I have laughed with you and cried with you. Your videos are an inspiration.

[@CysterWigs]

Hi, Wigescape, and thanks for speaking up! I'm really glad you enjoy the videos and find them helpful. Kind, supportive feedback like yours is always appreciated, and makes this job even more worthwhile.

[@Geminidjh]

I wish there was a LOVE button for this pep talk you gave! You talking about the soooooo much hair certainly hit the nail on the head for me! My first topper felt and looked to me like I had put a mop on top of my head, for real! My hair is fine to start with and it has been thinning gradually for many, many years! Finally it has gotten to the point that I can’t always camouflage like I used to with Toppik & root booster powder and all my other little tricks and cover ups. I did do the wear it around the house and then to my daughters house, then just to a fast food restaurant with the grandkids. Funny thing is, nobody seemed to notice like I noticed! Not even the grandkids. They didn’t say a word about it. I’m still not as comfortable as I would like to be with “all that hair”, but I am trying. Those lower density wigs sound great for when I get a little further toward the deeper end of the pool lol. I’m so hot natured and always worried about wearing a wig and how hot I would feel. When I’m hot, my face turns red and my head and face sweat when nothing else does! Thank you for all the great advice you always give! I hope the person you felt the urge to make this for saw this and that it’s helped her!

[@staciejohnson6807]

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you Heather, for everything that you just said.

[@CysterWigs]

Love you Stacie!

[@lindyrich4461]

Thank you for all you do and say. It helps. A LOT. xxxx

[@CysterWigs]

That's so sweet! Thank you for trusting us while on your journey ❣

[@electra3162]

Heather, thank you for this. I know it’s an old video but I wanted to say thank you. I’m quickly losing my hair due to medication and I’ve gone from having really thick hair to barely covering my scalp. I’ve wanted to have the bravery of wearing a different wig every day and being like “so what? This is my hair now” but it’s scary, thank you for putting this into words. Anxiety is a bitch. I’ve ordered my first wig, Ambrose, and I can’t wait to try her. Baby steps! Thank you for all your advice x

[@CysterWigs]

Thanks for sharing, and we are very glad that Heather's video helped you. I will make sure Heather is aware.

[@juliehanson6158]

Thank u Heather. I have female pattern baldness (right now really bad thinning). However, a wig is now a necessity.

[@CysterWigs]

HI, Julie! It can be tough when this happens, can't it? The important thing to remember is that you're not alone. There are loads of people out there just like you. If it's any help, we have a private community forum over on our site, full of tips and helpful suggestions and personal stories. You'd have to sign up to use it, but once you're in, it's a safe place to get some advice and feel like you're in good company. ;)

[@beckyc.5743]

Thanks. Today was the first day (new wig wearer) that I didn’t think about my “hair” when I went out. Of course, it’s midterm Election Day and I had bigger things to think about than being a new wig wearer. 😊

[@CysterWigs]

You're welcome, Becky! ;)

[@ruthhersh6779]

Hi Heather. I'm crying while watching your video.

[@CysterWigs]

Aww, Ruth, it's okay. You're not alone, you know.

[@ruthhersh6779]

Thank you so much Heather! You're are absolutely right.

[@CysterWigs]

Glad to be of help, Ruth.

[@MoonfishSparkle]

Great advice! You are such a big help!

[@AI_Catbot]

I tell people that hair loss has been one of the least of my worries..in comparison to my other medical issues, it’s no big deal. Yeah, there are days when I miss waking up with hair and all that...but wearing wigs has been fun for me. I just wish they weren’t so expensive and/or lasted longer! (Don’t we all) But anyway, when I don’t wear wigs, I wear these awesome headscarves I ordered from Israel. I’m wearing one in my pic. They’re kinda boho and super cute - at least I think so :) Before I started wearing wigs I just wore them all the time! But I can totally relate to the insecurities..wondering if a bald spot is popping out, if the side of my wig is positioned wrong, etc..etc... and you’re right. Nobody cares! :).

[@CysterWigs]

Hi, Lizzy! Thank you for opening up like this and sharing some tips. It really helps to know you're not alone in your troubles, and every time someone shares their story like this, it helps even more.

[@kennethdaust3793]

Nice job, very real. You are a smart gal!

[@CysterWigs]

Thank you so much, Kenneth! It can be very hard and demoralizing to go through hair loss (as I can say from personal experience!), and those people need help and understanding. I'm glad that I can be of assistance to people going through this difficulty. We have to stick together, after all!

[@ivegotthis8301]

'Anxiety's a b*tch! HAHAHA ain't that the truth! Thanks for making this video. Just what I needed today. Always down on myself but after finding your videos and website it has given me the ability to say Hey I can do something about this hair loss. I'll tell you one thing, it sure feels good to let go of my hopes in lotions and potions and laser etc...to try and grow my hair back. VERY FREEING!! You'r the best Heather! AND you have the best, most helpful, informative website out there cysterwigs dot com :)

[@CysterWigs]

That's so wonderful to hear Adrienne! So glad you are moving forward in your journey!

[@marym9228]

Excellent advice, thank you!

[@RahabScarletCord]

Awesome!! Thank you so much for this video!!

[@CysterWigs]

Happy to help!

[@mariateresarigionethetrich2961]

Heather you are amazing!You mesmerize me with your videos! I have only one question about wearing wigs:how can I do when the wheather it’s very hot?I’m afraid to buy a wig only for that reason !

[@CysterWigs]

Hi, Maria! There are a number of options for cooler summer hair options. If you'd like to contact our Help Desk via phone or e-mail (contact details here: cysterwigs.com/pages/customer-service-contact-info ), they'll be able to walk you through a number of options to try to find the best one for you. Hope this helps! - Nigel

[@claudianowakowski]

When I put on a nice topper, I realize this is the hair I would have if my hair were "normal". I wore extensions for years before switching to toppers. I'm a lifelong ice and roller skater.

[@CysterWigs]

I LOVE rollerskating, but I can't remember how long it's been since I last went! At least a year, maybe more. I had a bad fall at the rink the last time, which kept me from going for a while, and then the pandemic hit . . . .

[@Kerrin77JIH]

Thanks! I’m trying to leap....toes are in, at least, for now!

[@CysterWigs]

Thanks, KJ! Take your time, go at your own pace. The important thing is that YOU should feel comfortable moving at whatever speed YOU need to get through this. We've got a great support team, and some amazing customer bloggers at our site, to help you with any further information or help you might need. Hang in there!

[@nery2able]

Everything you said is so very true. 😂😂 good advise.

[@skyheady1269]

thank you

[@CysterWigs]

You're very welcome, sky heady.

[@MoonfishSparkle]

I can relate!

[@Msbreadcrumb]

I have a question about insecurity and hair loss. I have mostly accepted it, and since so many people think it's appropriate to ask about my hair, I do tell them what's going on with it. Sometimes I even joke about it. My biggest hurdle is that I always feel the need to hide the thinning areas by wearing ponytails. If I don't wear keep my hair up, I feel very exposed. It's almost like my fight-or-flight syndrome is kicking into high gear. How do I work my way through this? Any advice?

[@CysterWigs]

Hello, Veerangna! I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat it -- that's a very personal issue to work through, and what works for one person might not work for another. Having said that, just talking about it to someone else is a good start. It's important to realize that you're not alone in this matter, and what you describe is a common reaction to your hair thinning. My hair started thinning rapidly when I was about 17, and I was very self-conscious about it. I hung on for as long as I could, but eventually, the hair loss just got to be too obvious. I started wearing toppers, and then full wigs, a few years before I started up CysterWigs. Even then, I worried about people staring at me and judging me, like they KNEW I was wearing a wig. But I'll let you in on a secret that takes a lot of pressure off: most of the time, people are too busy wrapped up in their own lives to even LOOK at other people. They sure don't go around inspecting hairlines, looking for knotting and seams! And generally, if they see a woman with thinning hair, they're more likely to just assume it's some form of medical condition and just leave you alone. The most important thing to keep in mind is that before you do anything differently, you should feel comfortable with it. Don't feel pressured. It's your choice, and nobody should be forcing you to do anything you're uncomfortable doing. Nobody should be trying to talk you into doing something you're not ready for. If you want to look into other ways of concealing the thinning, that's fine, so long as you go at the pace you feel comfortable with. If it's any help, we have a community forum where you can ask people for further advice (if my suggestions don't work for you, someone else might suggest something that DOES work for you), or you can just read through the posts, if you want. The forum can be found at: cysterwigs.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/community/topics You have to join up, but it's completely private, and free. It's a good bunch of people, who have been through a lot of the same things both you and I have been through, and a lot of them are happy to talk about it. Hope this helps!

[@labchic97]

Hello! Love your videos and wigs. I have never worn a wig but my hair is thinning on top as well. I cant have the styles I want or used to have. I have questions about wearing them. Yes my question is on a windy day do you see that its a wig? And can you have a synthetic wig colored by a stylist? People will know Im wearing a wig and I will kind of feel embarrassed but I really like height and I ordered the cali in Carmel kiss. I like it on the website but I always have more blonde in the front of my hair than the back. I cant wait to get it but worried it will come off in public. Like at work. I bought the band and hope it works. I mainly wanted to know id it can be professionally died. Thanks. I love your videos so much!

[@CysterWigs]

Hi! On a windy day you may see the tracks or wefts of hair - to make this less obvious it is a good idea to wear a wig cap the color of the roots of the wig. For the most part, though people are not going to know you are wearing a wig. As for coloring a synthetic, no you cannot. They are the color they are - the only wigs that can be colored by a professional stylist are the human hair ones.

[@cogalh.1131]

Nice talk. : )

[@CysterWigs]

💗 - CysterWigs Team

[@ruthhersh6779]

I have gradual alopecia.

[@CysterWigs]

It's tough, I know, Ruth. But it helps a bit to know you're not alone, right?

[@skyheady1269]

i have cancer

[@CysterWigs]

I'm so sorry to hear that, sky heady. A lot of our customers come to us because of cancer or other illnesses. It's terrible. More than anything, it's best to keep in mind that you're not alone. I won't press you for details in case you might feel uncomfortable discussing it here. But you CAN talk about it, if you want to. We also have a private forum that you can sign up to ( cysterwigs.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/restricted?return_to=https%3A%2F%2Fcysterwigs.zendesk.com%2Fhc%2Fen-us%2Fcommunity%2Ftopics ), if you'd be more comfortable discussing it in a closer, more understanding community with others who are in the same boat as you.

[@ruthhersh6779]

My therapist doesn't help at all.

[@CysterWigs]

You should say that to your therapist and see what they say ;-)