Live Q&A: There are no perfect ways to declutter

[@findingaway5512]

Junk drawers should totally be called drunk drawers because they're just a hot mess. 🤣 Sloppy drunks those drawers. A drunk person threw the stuff in there. That is why it is so messy. 😁

[@sarahouser3100]

I have to thank you sooo much Dana. I tidy the house every night and I make my bed every morning and….today when my pen wouldn’t write, I walked it straight to the trash. All your tips have given me so much peace and order in my home. Keep these videos coming.

[@summereisenbraun9652]

As a daughter who's moved out of the house but when visiting parents might need a bobby pin/hairbrush/toothbrush, I recommend that your adult kids keep a drawer. I have one drawer in the bathroom vanity where I can keep "just in case" items. This sets a limit and it's out of my parents' way and it brings me comfort knowing if I get snowed in away from home I have the basics to get by.

[@ecbrent2]

So I did mean junk drawer but if you saw it, you would think I was drunk when I let it get that way. 🤣🤣 I think you may have broke something loose. I hadn't thought of it as a hero thing but that's exactly what it is. If someone needs something, I want to be able to say that yes I have it!! But I think what you're saying is that being the hero isn't worth the terrible feelings and the work that the clutter brings. It's funny that you mentioned bathing suits because that's one of my biggest hang Ups. We have a pool and I've been buying and saving swimsuits and swimming trunks for years so that when people want to swim they'll have one to wear. I guess they just need to bring their own crap if they want to use my pool. Lol. Thank you Dana!!! 💗

[@Denise11Schultz]

Today I only had time for decluttering one small bathroom drawer, so I did that while listening to this ☺️. You are good company on this journey 👍.

[@lisakingsley6834]

Storing a few bobby pins in a small medicine bottle can be really helpful. It gets rid of the bigger paper packaging and uses a micro-container method.

[@KellyHarrison1]

Thank you for saying all of this is hard. I made the mistake of starting with my children’s books. My nest is newly empty, and touching every single book I’ve read to them over the years was heartbreaking. Truly. I had to just go to bed-literally. That’s not like me. It was awful. But I’m making progress.

[@bethmiller6827]

Line them up, take a picture. If kids don't want them, keep 1 or 2 favorites.

[@MV-tw9ku]

I tried decluttering baby boy clothes right before the birth of my daughter. I cried and cried and my husband took over. (Thanks, hon!) When my 3rd kiddo was born (boy) I found several outfits that had been half donated. (Where are the matching pants?!?!) But I was still thankful. Sometimes the emotions are strong. Give yourself some time, you can do this!

[@idid138]

Less is Better. Sounds like you're doing great. I get emotional about my kids stuff too. That is going to be the hardest for me to whittle down, for sure.

[@SF-ru3lp]

Re keeping things just in case... I do agree that there is personal satisfaction in having "just the thing" that the other person needs! But I found a line from Dawn (Minimal Mon) to be helpful "The past is a guide to the future" i.e. If I haven't used an item in the past then it's likely I'll not use it in the future". Love your Q&A sessions Dana. G Ire

[@MegOfBroccoli]

Dawn is a compulsive shopper, I wouldn't take her advice. She has a shopping addiction. It's a stretch to call her a minimalist. She's always doing huge declutters. 🤷‍♂️ Once you are minimalist, you're no longer decluttering massive hordes of stuff. Unless you have a shopping problem.

[@Whatworksthisworks]

Dana, love, love your hair longer. Makes you look years younger!

[@glendaw5221]

Desiring to be a hero hits where it hurts. Amen sister.

[@sandragriffin6098]

Hey, you win the academy awards for humanitarian, environmental, and lifetime achievements. Just image how many children now have a better home life because of you. God bless you.

[@janeaustere]

Your hair looks great, I love the cut/length on you!

[@JaneH3675]

I have been decluttering for almost 2 weeks now. I have broken down twice. My reasons for decluttering is very emotional. I'm sure there will be more tears but I am making progress and I know it's what's best for me at this season of my life.

[@notnotnever]

I really enjoy these live Q&A's, thank you! (Can't fathom complaining about you saying "um" or the fact it isn't scripted/edited) They always help me get deeper into your mindset and make new connections!

[@MsStingFan]

Dana, you had a question about someone living in her mom's home that is now her and her daughter's home. Cas did a Hot Mess House show on just this. It was a bedroom (they used the 2nd bedroom because they felt like the primary bedroom was thr mom's so they let the son have it) and downstairs basement full of of the moms stuff. They turned it into a beautiful music room with a drum set (those take up a lot of space) guitars and a great section to hold memories and documents and they had a beautiful photograph of her mom on the wall. Just lovely, and turned the place into their own home, but with a tip of the hat to mom. It is a wonderful thing to turn such a huge asset over and obviously very grateful; but it shouldn'tbe a burden. On top of that, my sisters just asked all us siblings and spouses if we wanted grandma's china. We all said no. She donated to a half-way house where someone needed place settings. Knowing how giving our grandmother was, I am sure she would have loved that.

[@barbaracrump9242]

I’m in the throws of parenting a young adult…. I would get rid of the bobby pins if you don’t use them. An adult can learn to provide for themselves what they need…❤️🤗.

[@JaneH3675]

Hahahaha I'm nearly 60 and still keep pads in the closet for my daughter and daughters in law, yes they've actually needed them on occasion.

[@MegOfBroccoli]

It's throes. 🤣🤣🤣

[@lauram7803]

The bathroom that guests use is a good spot for the Bobby pins if it isn't heavily relied on by other family members. People's questions/stories really help! I'm ready to throw out my Grandma's Christmas baking spices. If I ever bake pies, I'll need new spices.

[@63electricmayhem]

21:20 this part made me laugh, because I have actually started "blaming" you when I get rid of things. "well the lady on KZbin said..." It helps with the emotions!

[@tml3982]

I am so glad you addressed the emotion around decluttering loved ones things left behind because of death and/or moving to assisted living/nursing home.

[@tml3982]

My sister died suddenly at age 55. Her husband (who was in deep shock/grief/anger etc) cleared out alot of her stuff without really consulting their adult children. It became a huge issue because of everyone's grief.

[@emilylyons1424]

I loved your skit about the people trying to give you their clutter. It was soooo accurate

[@SusanVanNorman]

Spot on! Totally have a friend who shows up with stuff, "to give me" I now just critically decide now - is this staying in my house or not! I also set the boundary once you give it to me it's mine to keep or give away as I please!!

[@jodimahan9776]

Re: regarding where to go to declutter next after all surfaces are cleaned...I am at that point and have been at it for several days now ..I started out thinking I was going to go room by room and I started that way just fine but then I got bored and dread started to set in so at the end of every night I would think about what would I be "in the mood" more so to declutter the next day and that is working for me...hope this helps some one . And as many others have said Dana...YOU have changed my life too. I started being most inspired by your 2 books that I have and getting the last one tomorrow....and listening to your video's...you made the whole process so REAL. I loved it then and love it now and I'm on the home stretch.

[@christinethompson3175]

Totally agree. Too much in one space can be draining

[@grutarg2938]

You could move on to the places most likely to be opened, like top dresser drawer and medicine cabinet.

[@Flanuora]

I wish you didn’t need to make the disclaimer. Your amazing 🥲 and inspiring. I have so much clutter and emotional 😭 clutter to deal with. I know decluttering will change my life. I’m just so tired 🥱 so few spoons 🥄 each day. However, you inspire me and I will do this one step at a time.

[@StacySanseverino]

Dana is 100% correct about that small kitchen advice. I think I have literally the tiniest kitchen. And after decluttering in it I found new ways of making it function better and better. Until you get rid of what you don’t need from it you won’t see what would be helpful to do next.

[@fwebster6226]

That’s it - I think drunk drawer is a much more fun name and that is what I will be calling it from now on 😀

[@kristacook7985]

0:43 - FOREWARD: Decluttering is tough/hard! 3:19 - I have a very real fear of needing something, or rather my kids needing something, when they visit and I've thrown it away ie. bobby pins. I don't use them but I keep them in case my daughter asked for them or things in my junk drawer that way that make it way too cluttered. I'm not attached to this stuff, I just think I'll need it as soon as I don't have it anymore. I end up hanging on to a million little things just in case. 11:46 - Should we finish one room completely before moving on to another room? Or should we always start with the biggest mess or worst room? I know you said do the places that are most visible, especially to guests, but I mean once those are done. She has a very big house and it's overwhelming and some rooms are empty-ish. 14:06 - How do I approach the kitchen? I'm in a one bedroom condo with a very tiny kitchen. Cabinets, especially corners ones, are small and sometimes nearly inaccessible the way they are built. No pantry, I have pantry type items all over the apartment in boxes or bins. 18:07 - How do I handle the constant flow of items coming in? My mom is a preschool teacher and loves finding little activities and resources to use in the classroom. My daughter is now at preschool age and my mom is starting to gift us these items. She hasn't started decluttering her home so she doesn't use the same filter that I do when I see items... she's more 'I have a physical space to keep this so I will'. 21:30 - My tweenage daughter and I live with my elderly mother who recently moved into a memory care facility. My daughter and I still live here with my mother's stuff and she was definitely a pack rat. I decluttered some and I just do not have the clutter threshold to maintain mom's big items like the china cabinet (china and crystal included), curio cabinet full of trinkets, and other decorating and sentimental dolollies that I don't personally like. My question to you is what is your advice for decluttering those things without being the villain for erasing my mother's memory in the space container which is now my home? 25:28 - What do I do when my home has reached the point that I can keep it tidy and under control but I still feel the need to get rid of more? Have I simply not reach my clutter threshold or am I wanting to be under my clutter threshold or am I just going too far? 27:53 - My family has decided that I'm the one to keep all the personal momentos of those who passed on but I don't want them. What do I say to them?

[@juliebaird4156]

Thanks for posting this breakdown with times. It's very helpful.

[@Denise11Schultz]

Did a lot of decluttering late last night after a very long day, but I just had the inspiration so I did it, and it really worked. Late and tired is not what I would have planned, but in its own way, it was very relaxed and comfortable. I was going to bed after that, so I didn’t have to save energy for the next task. I just worked until I was ready to stop. •The step of putting away each known-place object (from the pile) one at a time, is much better than putting them in a box until I have all the things for that location. It trains my brain for Maintenance, to put each thing away, right now, one at a time, instead of ignoring it because ‘I’m not going that way.’ •So my brain is training for Maintenance, not for Disaster Cleanup. •I’m working with your book and your flow chart, and every step is so well thought through, any thing I might try to wriggle out of, as I use your steps, I find there is a deeper reason, and a deeper reason underneath. •So your system works because you have really worked it, until all the puzzle pieces are working together with each other on a lot of levels. Well done! And big thank you. •Would you consider selling a laminated color copy of your flowchart (with a hole for hanging it up)? I would pay $4.95 - $5.95 for that.

[@cindygillespie206]

I would buy the flow chart as well!

[@jennie9]

I would, too!

[@lillianmartinez1593]

I printed Dana's flow chart out, three times. Then I laminated them and sent two of them to my best friends who also need this very vital information. Some office supply stores, do laminating at a low cost. I am throughly enjoying my chart!

[@Saforra99]

YES! Training for maintenance + not disaster cleanup :D

[@nataliejones6269]

Re: tiny condo. I had the same issue many years ago. My husband and I bought a condo (so that is another factor -- do you own or rent?). We lived in southern CA and didn't need our coat closet. Our closet was located near the kitchen so we installed shelving and turned it into a great pantry. If you're renting, you could still maybe use it with a shelving unit that is detached instead. And if you live in an area where coats, umbrellas, etc are needed, maybe a coat rack by the door, or declutter clothes so the bedroom closet can hold the coats. Nowadays my husband and I live in a larger home with 3 kids. But recently moved and my kitchen cabinets actually remind me much of that condo kitchen (I have those horrid corner cabinets again!!). My food was scattered all around, too. After living with it for a while, I finally decided I'd rather have all my food in one space. So I took my pots, crock pot & casserole dishes out of the kitchen cupboards and put my food inside. We have a temporary shelving unit in my coat closet for the big pots and my casserole dishes have a temporary home on the corner counter in one of those casserole "files" until we can build another shelf. It is annoying. I miss my old kitchen. But like Dana says, sometimes you have to get creative! I never in a million years thought I would take my dishes out of my cabinets, but this is working very well for me right now. Just some ideas. I hope it helps!

[@lyndallparker8186]

Hi, Dana! Mum and I went through the children’s books that my brothers and I grew up together! We finally donated them to charity. It felt great that it would go to someone who is less fortunate…yes, decluttering can be draining but my goal and Mum’s goal is to find peace when it is eventually decluttered 70 years worth of declutter to do!

[@kathystearns9012]

I corral bobbypins in an empty washed out and dried medicine pill bottle. The cap is white, the clear orange jar is easy to find and it doesn't take up much space

[@dawnjeffersramstad8401]

Life-time of frequent moving has helped me learn to use bins to organize in awkward cabinets.

[@shellyhollingsworth3909]

Hi Dana! Thanks for starting with "decluttering is hard ". It really is! I've been at it for over a year, off and on, but you, Dawn, and Cas keep me restarting and I love that! I won't give up. I will keep making progress. Especially now that my husband is coming around. Unfortunately he wants me to declutter his stuff. I thought that was what I wanted but I'm even more overwhelmed trying to declutter everything. Ugh!

[@debravannett2876]

Even though it is more for you to deal with, it's great that your hubs is not only on board but giving you the reigns !!! Most wife's would love that .

[@shellyhollingsworth3909]

@@marydoyle8183 Thanks for taking a few moments to encourage me! I truly appreciate it.

[@bevmatson7793]

Me too. Decluttering started April 2021...

[@marymaryquitecontrary]

Re the grandma now in a facility, does she still visit? If not, I would start photographing her things so she can revisit them that way. Start with a few and see what else she wants to recall. When this process is complete, sell or donate the actual items. If she does visit, do the same but try to make space to keep any she's totally attached to for the time being. If she's realistic, share the process and get her agreement. If not, just do it-priorities, we need 'em!

[@MegOfBroccoli]

I live 3 blocks from a high street, any visitors can go down the street & buy their own bobby pins. I get the sentiment, but I finally decided I had to stop being the "hero" for everybody. I'm not a hotel or an Amazon warehouse. I don't live in the middle of the Sahel with no amenities. I live literally a few blocks away from stores that will sell you pretty much anything you could need. And you don't even need to drive there.

[@paulapratt9903]

Drunk drawer 🤣

[@sandragriffin6098]

I thank God for finding you and the blessing of knowledge you share. You have changed my life and improved my perspective in life. I bought all your books and am reading them in order. I learn something new every time I see your blogs. God bless you Ms. Dana!!!!

[@kayelle8005]

You look wonderful. Really refreshed.

[@jackiefields1607]

Thanks for talking about the hard stuff!

[@shannonmcgraw6254]

Thank you for being such an understanding and supportive presenter! You are always so considerate of other’s feelings when you consider possible solutions ❤️

[@lindamusser7370]

Such wise advice to deal with your own clutter first! "It's easy to fixate" on that kind of thing. Don't I know! Thank you.

[@sandradow1783]

Your message ... Where would you look for this first ... is a game-changer! Thank you. I was skeptical until I tried it and you have helped 😊

[@gingerkin2co]

As I am getting serious about decluttering I am using the container concept and it is game changing for me. Thank you Dana!!!!!

[@grinchy56]

Your video looks much better and clear in sight and sound. Bravo.

[@CraftyWanderess]

Your new house is gorgeous!

[@pattiwise2122]

DanS you have changed my life. Hod bless you.

[@robyngaffel5113]

OHHH, We are such soul sisters. I like to be the one to have what is needed and I'm 50% procrastination and 50% alternative uses. Or in my kitchen its a single use for this and that. The problem of being a child of the increase of consumerism and there is a single purpose thing for every job!! Except our house size- I like dual propose spaces and not double the cleaning for spaces just waiting to be used.

[@lynnettelg]

Ooooo, decluttering as a hobby? 🤔 I probably need to use this as a strategy for the moment. Could make it all more fun! I’ve got all kinds of ideas on this now. ❤️🎉

[@dawnbyland7568]

Pre school teacher we lived in a 8 ×40 trailer. We put our daughters bed on bricks with a shelf. It worked for us. When I was little we lived in a 8 × 30 trailer I had a floor and ma kept the house perfect.

[@sarahmitchell9366]

ok you're comment about Just in Case and "Being the Hero" I thought was really insightful. I'd never realized that was where the feeling of triumph was coming from when I have something people need. I have to make a comment though about what came to my mind when you talked about imagining situations, it was in a Preparedness group on fb, talking about preparing for worse things to come (food storage, disasters, etc.) and someone commented that we'd already had the worst thing that could happen, and it was covid. And I was like, how nice it must be in your mind that you think this is the worst thing that could happen!

[@juliejackman2649]

Feels so daunting to me. I can hardly walk and went to one physical therapy session and the next day got covid. It's been 4 weeks and I still have the covid so of course can't do pt. I need to be able to walk and bend again to be able to declutter. Who knows when that'll be. It's hard to breathe and do anything. Wow, if I get all this done one day - it will be the accomplishment of a Lifetime..🌠

[@paulastamper6225]

I hope you feel better soon. Start with the trash around you without exerting yourself.

[@marymaryquitecontrary]

I have a similar situation, and it's not gonna get better. Very frustrating. My plan is to start with filling a small box of donations every day, hoping it becomes a habit and leads to bigger boxes or more of them. Like I said, it's a plan. I'm adding to it, I will think of you succeeding to strengthen my resolve. You can do the same with me. Anyone else want to join the Team? Starting now!

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

Just take care of yourself. Don’t stress MORE about clutter. You’ll get there.

[@kayelle8005]

Love how bright that room is and how the light comes in.

[@rebeccajordan4491]

Re: the drunk drawer/hypothetical bobby pin scenario - I like to follow the “20/20 rule”. Can I acquire this item for less than $20 in less than 20 minutes? I live within 10 minutes of a giant Walmart, a CVS, a grocery store and 2 dollar stores, so I have easy access to opportunities to purchase what I might need. It’s not worth it to me to try and fill an unknown future need for someone else and keep their things on hand just in case, but I’ll happily run out and get what they need if the situation actually comes up.

[@robyngaffel5113]

Again OHHHH! Do you still have those role-play videos? They were some of the first things I saw of yours/Noni's back when they came out - old technology now. The Show plate your Grandma gave you and the box was a hook that gave me strategies for the Collectables we have. Not that i have done them in particular but i could tell you thought the same way I did/do. I often tell people about the second hand clothes or dishes one you do too. I think the theatre aspect won me over. Keep them coming, please. And love Reid's contributions too.

[@lisaann6267]

thank you dana. i have been continually decluttering. i have been having a reality check this year. been having health issues. my land lords house is turning into "Money Pit". if it coming to moving, the question im asking is do i want to move this. and now i just need to save to get a paper scanner so i can put all important papers and family on flash drive. so i can declutter those. i want 1 red emergency bag that will be grab n go.

[@aandscatherall]

Letting you know that there are some great scan apps available for smart phones now, you just use the app and point your phone camera at the document, multiple pages supported into a single pdf. Exact apps would vary depending on the phone platform, but you don't need to give up the money or the house space for a document scanner anymore.

[@lisaann6267]

I don't have a smart phone. Only an old fashioned flip phone.

[@virginiapfeffer132]

I love the idea of a red emergency bag!!

[@Pausereflectandbreathe]

I think growing up poor and not getting what I want makes me want to shop when I already have the means to do so. I enjoy shopping and learned to enjoy getting rid of stuff too because it's too much to handle. It's a process.

[@nadalynm.3145]

Dana, I love this one, thank you! I understand more about my motivations to keep things.

[@lisao.4075]

💙 Hey, Dana. I Love that lamp behind you! ..... Just a suggestion... you can hide that electrical cord along one of the legs! Love ya! ❤️

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

Thank you, Dana! Great advice, as always. BTW...your hair looks so cute. Love it!

[@marythomas6543]

You are a saint. Loving these!❤️😘💃🏽

[@gerrimarion5255]

Thanks so much for this video, it was right on time for me and answered alot of questions for me. I enjoy all your videos, I can relate with everything you say, and that helps me move forward.

[@paulastamper6225]

Thank you. I’m not completely done yet but I am getting there!

[@rg-mi5hh]

Thanks for all your videos. Sure do help me a lot.

[@qkalam1352]

Really enjoyed the video as I was tidying up 🥰

[@kimberlybrown5462]

I didn't catch this live, but I'm just watching. Since I've been decluttering, there have been several times I needed something that I have gotten rid of. But you know what? I did make do and it was fine, or actually it was better, because I didn't have those "maybe I'll need it" items cluttering up my stuff.

[@renbeet]

I would add, anyone who needs a bobby pin, already owns bobby pins. I say clear them out if you don't want them for yourself, and just let them know to bring their own bobby pins 💚

[@kennethbailey9853]

You Nail it

[@gems4turner444]

The process is to tell your daughter to put bobbypins in her purse. It's her responsibility not yours. You can't keep everything for every person or situation.

[@MsSmile2005]

You are not just a "lady on the internet"!!!

[@lighteninggazelle816]

Soooo.. Does hanging onto three boxes of Kleenex tissue in my downstairs bathroom because one time my grandma came over and asked if I had a Kleenex count as keeping something Because someone might need it? 😂😂😂. OH HOW I NEED YOU IN MY DAILY LIFE

[@christinethompson3175]

😂

[@DM-ym9jh]

I totally get the ‘drunk drawer’ thing. Our son was four when he coined the term, since he couldn’t say ‘junk’. Quite honestly though, it did look like a drunk had organized it.

[@patdennis2586]

Living with your intentions in the future or the past, or both, keeps one from living in the here and now. Lose the what if I need it story.

[@breerogganbuck9283]

My prob is clutter is there because I don't know what to do with it.

[@Morpha-Ahprom]

💖

[@JOSWEBCROCHET]

☺️👍👍

[@pattiwise2122]

Can’t type

[@kathywoodard3618]

Hello