Danny's Jewish Stories and Jokes (Compilation)

EDIT: In honor of hitting 2 MILLION VIEWS (wtf even) I went through the whole video and added annotations with links to the original episodes on the top left corner of every bit. For mobile users, here's the full link list in order:
• Super Castlevania IV: ...
• The Decision - NSP
• Castle Crashers: Storm...
• NSP Theme Song - NSP
• Castle Crashers: Klaus...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: I'm...
• Darknuts in the Dark |...
• The Decision - NSP
• Castle Crashers: Scien...
• Super Castlevania IV: ...
• Darknuts in the Dark |...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Flu...
• Bubble Bobble - Game G...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Flu...
• Super Mario Bros. 2: ...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Leapin' Larrys | The L...
• Super Mario Bros. 2: ...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Don...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Super Tennis - Game Gr...
• Castle Crashers: Klaus...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: TOO...
• Castle Crashers: Total...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Castle Crashers: Allus...
• The Blue Ring | The Le...
• Jackal: In the Swamp -...
• Castle Crashers: Klaus...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: TOO...
• Castle Crashers: Storm...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Pho...
• Castle Crashers: Storm...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Spooky Scary | The Leg...
• Castle Crashers: Faile...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Super Mario Bros. 3: F...
• Castle Crashers: The N...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Castle Crashers: Scien...
• Video
• Castle Crashers: You'r...
• Super Castlevania IV: ...
• Super Mario Bros. 3: S...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Eve...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Super Mario Bros. 3: S...
• Worms Armageddon - Ste...
• Spider-Man and Venom: ...
• Super Mario Sunshine: ...
• Worms Armageddon - Ste...
• Kirby's Epic Yarn: Pho...
• ירדנה ארזי הבה נגילה Y...

[@thebluebabychannel2714]

"my jew side, which is all of my sides, are offended."

[@srbrant5391]

“With a Jewy caramel center!”

[@gamingbauman5834]

The Blue Baby Channel dans Jewish so don’t be offended

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@SlyHikari03iirc the swastika was actually a fairly common and popular symbol in the early 1900s and had deep connections to European and Celtic roots, it’s not a purely eastern symbol. For the nazis it represented their desire to go back to ‘traditional’ German pagan-adjacent culture, and it’s a simple and easily identifiable symbol, great for being the mascot for a movement

[@QwopTheFrog]

Every now and then, I'll come back to this just to hear that fucking intro. "Hey I'm Grump! I'm... Jewish And we're the Game Grumps!" I lose my shit every time

[@EllaShartiel]

thanks!

[@Arysticbeats]

Same here. Lol. Don't know how many times I replayed it.

[@ThatOneShortieHo]

I CAN'T BREATHE XD

[@thevergos3428]

and?

[@user-lb5vv1iq1o]

idk i ran out of insults somehow

[@ThanatorRider]

"Is Hell real?" "Nope!" "Oh! Thank God!"

[@KaladinVegapunk]

ThanatorRider yeah kind of a contridiction haha. The vast majority of people didnt convert to the modern monotheistic cults until they added hell as a threat to hold over people then they pretty much did it out of fear, and then it just had its hooks in our culture

[@Rayray-iu5fx]

crimsontowers funny thing the concept of hell we have is from Dante’s inferno not the Bible the Bible just says those people don’t go to heaven

[@thomasl1061]

Thank YHWH.

[@MatthewNeathery]

The bible describes hell but yes Dante's inferno is the common knowledge image. The bible says its a place of everlasting darkness and fire. It doesn't necessarily say its in the earth. It just says that Abraham's bosom is on the other side of it and can be seen a far off. And there are worms that don't die. That hell will be removed from where ever it is and cast into a lake of fire. It also says that hell is continuously getting bigger. That's about it. And most of that is in the New Testament. Hell wasn't as much of a punishment for Jews as much as death was.

[@shana7926]

@@Rayray-iu5fx that's. Not true. The parable of the rich man and Lazarus talks about hell

[@clairebit]

How does Dan make his coffee? Hebrews it.

[@teammagmaadminalex917]

+Molly Niner No, it's cool of new to think of it as funny.🔯

[@teadop]

+Matthew McGrath הא! בדיחה טובה ישראלי .

[@danwrizzo]

Palpatine

[@goldengames8792]

how else would you make it?

[@Xandermorph]

+Party Poison LOL hell no, it IS funny :) Puns have a place in humor too, as long as they're at least somewhat clever... i.e. NOT from a Bubsy game. :P

[@very_much]

Guys. Guys. It's just a hunch, but I think that Dan might be Jewish. I dunno though.

[@reedellis9018]

Really? That's stretching it just a bit.

[@heejinkiii]

Really? I thought he was Chinese!

[@thebatmanover9000]

Batman This is madness Batman!

[@heejinkiii]

TurkeyGaming Aaaaand you ruined it.

[@alexanderstilianov]

Batman Sexbang doesn't sound like a a Jewish name to me.

[@beaniepollard8290]

The funniest part of the vid for me: "I wish all the Jews were gone!!!!! ... Danny? Danny, where'd you go?"

[@TahliFace]

ohmygod I'm stupid, I thought he said gods 😂😂

[@beaniepollard8290]

+Tahli Robinson Jews are already gods. Have you seen Dan "Sexbang" Avidan?

[@zachdavis5854]

lmao as I'm reading this that part comes on hahahaha

[@ineedpineapples]

DANNY?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@robertwilkinson1381]

bad lip reading

[@Starsim99]

"I need to go take a shower. Oh, wait I didn't mean it like that." I AM DECEASED 😂

[@QuasarKnightGaming]

Fangirl Armada he would be too

[@somebodycooliguess1597]

Cool, what are we going to eat in the shower?

[@vero-kd8vg]

M Y F A V O R I T E T Y P E O F J O K E

[@arthurmorgan2861]

nononononon.... nine, you need to go take a shower {:

[@srbrant5391]

By trying not to be offensive, he ends up being offensive.

[@birthdaygirl1126]

7:23 "Thank God I have my healing Jew-ey powers" "Is that a thing?" "Yeah, Dude. You never heard of Jesus?"

[@Polychi1998]

Danielle Bruno Except the Jews betrayed jesus

[@nickname8619]

@@Polychi1998 dude, the romans nailed him on the cross, you're following millenias of catholic church propaganda

[@TheLegend1800]

-Jewish -Long Hair -Normally Chill Attitude -Spouts Wholesome, Helpful Advice -Decent at Carpentry Dan is the Second Coming Confirmed

[@kamronspencer4910]

Nick Name the romans nailed him to the cross but the Jewish also weren’t happy with him. The ones who didn’t accept him as the messiah saw him and his preaching (and also his hanging out with criminals) to be both giving them a bad name and to be misguiding people. And in fact the romans actually believed they were doing the Jewish community a favor by getting rid of someone they didn’t like while simultaneously helping themselves by removing someone they viewed as disruptive element.

[@TacComControl]

@@kamronspencer4910 To be fair, if you went around saying you were the messiah and the son of god, and getting into fights with fig trees, I'd probably wanna nail you to a cross too.

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Dan is a Jersey Jew. he's culturally OBLIGATED to worship bagels.

[@srbrant5391]

Ever tried them toasted with butter and garlic powder? Breakfast of champions.

[@spencer9305]

As a Jersey Jew, I can say that this is 100% true

[@ryandoherty4291]

As another Jersey Jew, I can say this is true. Bagels are life.

[@abigailowens3907]

Like Kyle?

[@trollerpilotxiv3079]

@@srbrant5391 I'll do you one better. Pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese and lox.

[@thealmightybuttlet6925]

My "How to be a man" talk went, "Son, it is time for the talk." And I said "No, I'm ok." And we never talked about it again.

[@wowwoah6392]

I remember just telling my father, with dead seriousness with my eyes... "Micky mouse did the fricky frack with Minney mouse. In the dark." I was 13.

[@DavidNightjet]

+Jordan Junkin I never had the talk. I just found out on my own by reading hentai. Don't fucking judge me. I can do what I want.

[@silversaiyan7276]

+N Studios I found out by watching hentai :D

[@evolutiagames]

+N Studios Don't fucking judge me, I can make my own sandwich!

[@nodeloliver6201]

My mother sat me and my brother down at a table and told us how things worked. When we stood up, we'd aged 30 years or so. I still remember the nightmares.

[@KataangFan221]

Wait, so this whole time, a Jewish person has been telling me to get on a "Steam Train"...

[@aidanjude.2547]

Ohhhh, you're sick....

[@darktimehigh2782]

Oh dear god

[@ineedpineapples]

Wow. just wow

[@Kemonokami]

Oh dear...

[@gse_panda1316]

KataangFan221 At Game Grumps, it's always opposite day

[@georgerobins4110]

"I've never seen... the Torah!" "That's not a movie. That's a holy book."

[@partydave1067]

It can be made to a Game of Thrones/Vikings style of series....

[@TheWonderfulBlake]

The intro killed me.

[@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745]

Rip in pieces fastfastfastradio

[@dannystuivenberg292]

x_x

[@supersamaraisoulslayer3886]

The Lich so how are you feeling being a baby lich?

[@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745]

Super Samarai Soul Slayer a bit stuffy, but whatever. mom and dad are great parents

[@supersamaraisoulslayer3886]

The Lich lol

[@Roserae16]

"I'm decent at carpentry" gets me every time xD

[@pitioti]

Rae Prite nailed it 8"D

[@smileyking3193]

I finally got it when he mentioned Jesus XD

[@OrangeSlices185]

It took me a moment to get that.

[@YTDeepshock]

Christ, that was good.

[@srbrant5391]

I don’t think that’s very accurate. I’m going to need a cross-reference.

[@charlee2273]

"Ahh wish.... all da jews were GAHHHHN" "Danny? Danny where'd you go?! NOOOO!" That is absolutely my favourite part. Just... damnit, Dan. Damnit.

[@kirbykinnie3691]

THE 'JEWISH' AT THE BEGINNING OH MY GOD IM GONE

[@davestrider220]

nice pic

[@MegaAnimazing]

God please give us khoot back.

[@Ravioko]

Dan's dad needs to be the next Guest Grump

[@MudkidMudslap]

better yet Guest Gramps: featuring Avi and PapaRaptor

[@PurplePandaClock]

Father's day special

[@UnofficialJoker]

PurplePandaClock PEFECT

[@KingGhidorah5464]

Paparaptor: Hey, I'm Gramp. Avi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'm not so Gramp. And we're the Guest Gramps!

[@livingpie3065]

***** Wait, but doesn't Avi kinda want to stay out of Game Grumps? I'd doubt it.

[@connorhein5532]

Who actually paused to read the bio on Danny?

[@davestrider220]

meeeee

[@gavin169]

you

[@dededepression2838]

+Dirk Strider Wat? ResidenceBound? Why so many fan accounts from HamStick?

[@dympna32]

Me

[@ferretalseeker9877]

me

[@bigbubbabonney8091]

did anyone else pause the video and read the brefing about danny

[@IsopodAqua]

Yes

[@yungbabymia5640]

+Cole Garrett Nice profile picture, I like it.

[@zebulia01]

+O.J. Shrimpson +Cole Garrett nice profile pics

[@yungbabymia5640]

+zebulia01 Thank you, kind sir/ma'am

[@zebulia01]

+O.J. Shrimpson your welcome sir/ma'am btw your nice and considerate

[@DRaGoNThEBeSt60]

You thirsty? Have some Jewce

[@DRaGoNThEBeSt60]

Inglorius Bastard! BEER Jew!

[@RSD321KOOL]

Guys idk about you but imma go get some mountain jew!

[@kilaha8399]

I know that this is old but I happen to be drinking orange *jews*

[@GoyBenius_0901]

Concentrated orange Jewce.

[@AJPlays-sy1cz]

Rishi Is Here wth bro

[@Scuro1000]

Dan's Dadd's "Sex talk" is the 2nd best story I've heard on gamegrumps. Right after the D-club one.

[@toast3dplvm533]

nobody is more obsessed about danny being jewish than danny himself

[@thequestion1422]

gum and scissors I would beg to differ

[@petermarsella6537]

@@thequestion1422 beg

[@OurDisplayName]

Lost it when he said "pizza bagels"! Thanks for making this!

[@EllaShartiel]

you're welcome!

[@ladycathy1486]

D. Salazar me too!!!

[@scottanderson7170]

D. M,n,n,

[@verlice239]

D. Salazar is that Grell in your pic?

[@BlackShadowUchiha]

"I've never seen the Torah" one of the best parts. What makes it better is that I was in my high school performance of Fiddler on the Roof and my friend who played the Rabbi kept opening his "torah" upside down during our actual performance.

[@entr3_nou5]

Hey, did you hear the joke about the jewish man? Israel-y good.

[@thequeerishere9662]

I did nazi that one coming.

[@Hotpink51]

I would pay to hear Avi read this outloud

[@n0vi]

Israel, more like "isn't real"

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Hotpink51 Hi dan! Did you hear the joke about the Jewish guy? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

[@Kemonokami]

All bow before the world's sexiest Jew!

[@typacsk]

+Kemonokami Alison Brie?

[@danl2729]

Me! *wink, wink. Nudge, nudge...*

[@HughJNess-ly6er]

Ethan Klein ?!?!? Foopah

[@prestong.6391]

Barry?

[@zachrose82]

Me? xD

[@BlueJayPaints]

AND ABRAHAM SAID UNTO MOSES, "dude. bro. aliens."

[@procrastinator99]

HAY DAN, EEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................

[@NaXEthan]

+procrastinator99 DO JEW KNO ABOWT SEX?

[@procrastinator99]

"Yes."

[@NaXEthan]

procrastinator99 OKEH! *turns radio back on*

[@Kiproll26]

+procrastinator99 uh, more like Dayen. tsk!

[@PIKATHUNDER7]

The swastika from Zelda 1 is not a nazi swastika it's actually a bhuddist swastika facing the opposite direction the bhuddist swastika is a good thing so ZELDA 1 IS NOT RACIST

[@bentschirhart249]

That symbol is called a manji

[@Volsati]

It could also be the japanese kanji for power (triforce, anyone?)

[@PIKATHUNDER7]

maybe idk thank you ben didnt know that

[@TangFiend1]

Japanese game designer - Bhuddist swastikas . . triforce . . illuminati totally confirmed.

[@PIKATHUNDER7]

XD its also a manji japenese symbol of power

[@therocketqueenfi3874]

"HEY IM GRUMP! AND IM jewish."

[@wallapology898]

HEY, I'M GRUMP! I'M *Immediate silence* Jewish.

[@stringcheeseofficial1977]

The fuckin pizza bagel thing always kills me

[@EtaiShuster]

+Colleen Millett I never understood what bagels have to do with Jewish people.

[@rinalubit]

Jews invented bagels You're welcome

[@EtaiShuster]

+Rina Lubit We did? I didn't even know. You welcome, world.

[@rinalubit]

yeppp

[@EtaiShuster]

Rina Lubit Awesome.

[@liamfunnyman6965]

Arin should get Danny to sing Weird Al's "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi."

[@vannahvengeance7903]

OMG YES!!!!!! 😂

[@ConvictedHeart]

I have a friend who's Father is 100% German and who's mother is 100% Hebrew. I shit you not, he's the most internally conflicted person I've ever met. Can't make a decision to save his freakin life. He was complaining about it one day and I pointed out his heritage to him and he busted up laughing.

[@maychan7756]

I actually know the Hanukkah song Dan was singing. I'm not Jewish, but a girl in my choir is and my teacher thought it'd be nice to have us learn some of the songs since most of the songs we had been singing were Christmas songs XD

[@lukesguywalker]

It's nice that your teacher thought of that!!

[@alexdrawrz1167]

Maka Chan what's it called?

[@liamfunnyman6965]

Maka Chan

[@samd9816]

May Chan oh I was singing it with him

[@alonplayminecraft]

Alexdrawrz mauz tzur

[@Squarehaxorus]

Will we see a "Danny's Jewish Stories and Jokes #2"?

[@EllaShartiel]

nope, sorry!

[@Squarehaxorus]

Ella Shartiel Alright! Thanks for responding at least :D

[@EllaShartiel]

+FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend hey no need to curse man

[@EllaShartiel]

+FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend you are being silly now

[@Pigmedog]

+FriendChumOl'Pal BuddyPalMateFriend APPLY LIQUID NITROGEN TO THE BURNED AREA

[@AndrewBrannen]

I am so thankful for these compilation videos

[@EllaShartiel]

thank you for enjoying them!

[@movedchannelschecknewestvi8929]

"Pizza bagels" I *_died_*

[@bonezilla4109]

Ike XD

[@bonezilla4109]

+Bonezilla Ikr not Ike

[@Redburg]

I'm a pizza bagel... more bagel than pizza, don't worry I thought it was hilarious.

[@imawinner2129]

Is Hell real? Nope!

[@aorra1530]

Are you relevant? Nope

[@Kemonokami]

imawinner21 "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh nope!

[@sagieay]

We do have hell in jewisem....? Well whatever we do have hell here xD

[@spacetrenton]

+sag adiv *Judaism

[@sagieay]

space trenton We believe in hell, thats all I had to say bro...

[@theinternetspacepirate3235]

Racist Bassist and Bummer Drummer made it into Tuber Simulator as a reference.

[@CaylexT]

Jewish people like... bagels...? I guess I need to brush up on my horribly racist stereotypes. Never stop learning™

[@Zrbrcr]

its not horribly racist, nor is it a stereotype, bagels are just important to the Jewish people

[@perrydunetz882]

Not necessarily that we like them, but on all holiday gatherings other than Passover we have bagels for some reason

[@baxter740]

I personally don't know a fellow Jew who doesn't like bagels. Not to say they like them, but none of them have specifically told me they don't. All I can say is that I'm Jewish and I like bagels

[@flarenimbus4444]

I am not a Jew but really, who DOESN'T like bagels?

[@Dragonwing16]

We made them. Every bite you took in a bagel, is a victory for the jews

[@TSFboi]

My favourite addition to the Qumran Caves bit is that somebody changed the Wikipedia article to add "these caves were dug by Dan Avidan."

[@Zerpderp0]

Danny's dad is Tommy Wiesou

[@Octopetala]

OH HI DANNY

[@DieWorm]

+Zerpderp0 YOOR TAAAERING ME APART DANNEHH!

[@zombiemonkey5094]

OH HAI DAYAN

[@Octopetala]

I did nyat hit her thees is buulshiet i did NYAAT. Oh hi Mark.

[@WyoCoyote]

I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER OMGGG

[@hri7566]

+nick glover I just took a shower

[@compactdiskc2105]

+hri7566 of GASTER

[@thewizard1152]

+Chris Domiciano what?

[@thesaddesthuman2954]

+Chris Domiss what are you talking about? gaster isn't here

[@Barshaviak]

still my comfort vid

[@EllaShartiel]

Sarge Appledan still happy to hear!

[@hubblabla]

"And I'm decent at carpentry" XD

[@davesmilingcoyote]

Martini shake That cracked me up!

[@staggerblade]

Your pic just makes it look like you are thinking about what you did in your lifetime

[@azurabayta133]

I'm taking a class this semester on Judaic history, and when we were talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls and Qumran, Danny's story about shoveling the caves was all I could think about.

[@panjanvanohyras]

Thank jew for this compilation!

[@EllaShartiel]

you're welcome! (i am)

[@bigboymccoy]

Yeah thanks boobala

[@silviasutcliff6408]

NOOOOO STAY AWAY FROM MY DANNY

[@legomaker10]

more like stay away from me.

[@legomaker10]

Gse_ Panda that was bad, not good 0/10 ign

[@user-lv7bo3bc8d]

The song singing is too relatable.

[@arzi1233]

אבהו דלשר I agree 100%

[@junklex]

In Tefillah in middle school, pretty much the only thing we knew we were saying was barukh atah adonai lmao אבהו דלשר

[@kingdenton6451]

AllyGal1231 I relate to this on a spiritual level.

[@glitchygutz]

Yep. Just sing the lines you know and trail off, that’s what I always do. Ma otzur yeshuati, lechan..a e blah bloo blech blee blorg...

[@jennah3862]

I'm not Jewish but I remember that song from singing it in chorus

[@XsvruploaderX]

Yo we need two of every animal on this ship. Don't worry I Noah guy

[@ianmcfenny436]

This guy just won the internet

[@edwardcekici1072]

I'M DONE!! *SLAMS DOOR LOUDLY*

[@StuntedWolf]

bYE

[@RedSheep27]

Do you think Danny only drinks a very specific energy drink called Mountain Jew?

[@Tigerman4545]

*slow clap*

[@femoman]

Am I the only one who finds Yiddish/sterotypical Jewish accents just inherently hilarious? Just something about the inflection way it sounds cracks me up every time.

[@pennyfarting]

You're not the only one. I was in a rather serious play once where I had to play a Jewish immigrant, and agonized for weeks trying find ways to tone the accent down so my character didn't come off as unintentionally hilarious or stereotypical. The accent is just inherently like that.

[@AWeller92]

you are watching a video about jewish jokes

[@madiburgsfx7194]

As a jew I find this very relatable and funny

[@goORIOLES236]

+Madeline B I'm relatable and funny and I find this Jewish.

[@madiburgsfx7194]

***** !היי

[@adrianfrank3305]

+N Studios שלום ! מי עוד יודע עברית XD?

[@adrianfrank3305]

+Madeline B היייייי גם עברי

[@tFighterPilot]

+ShadowDesigner כולם כאן ישראלים

[@hipsterkat7702]

I ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A CRUSH ON JEWISH PEOPLE OH

[@MissToxicc]

and what's wrong with that hiptser kat?

[@PeaceBear16]

+MissToxicc i think he just means its a funny coincidence.

[@skylarkiaski4044]

+MissToxicc Unintentional rhyme. XD

[@hipsterkat7702]

PeaceBear16 she*

[@sharkboy85]

*OY

[@Nuggetlover96]

"Dad do you want Pizza or Sushi tonight?" "YES" "oh good" XD

[@GarfieldXGaming]

Pitsushi it is!

[@unknowncreature-0069]

Actually that's not a swastika, it's a manji which is a Buddhist symbol of good fortune

[@imperator5228]

Still a swastika, just not Nazi.

[@fine-n-dandy]

@@imperator5228 It's not a Swastika. A swastika is a hate symbol which this is not.

[@petermarsella6537]

@@fine-n-dandy I hate to be the "but actually" guy, but actually swastika is the correct name. It comes from Sanskrit "svastika-s" meaning "being fortunate"

[@fine-n-dandy]

@@petermarsella6537 Ahh, my apologies. Thank you for fact checking me

[@mistvillage171]

I would love to see a gamegrumps vid with all the grumps parents 😂

[@marquardtle]

Mostly dans dad

[@robnojob8101]

Father's Day 2017 should be Dad Grumps Day with Arin's dad and Dan's dad doing the main show and Barry's dad and Ross's dad on Steam Train duty.

[@caspianhorlick4529]

You mean the grump's parEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHnts

[@howdyouknow]

Two Jewish mothers are talking one day, and one asks the other how things are going. She replies, "Oi, I have tsores and naches..." (The Yiddish words for "sorrow/trouble" and "joy/pride") The first one then asks, "what's the trouble?" and the second replies, "My son... I found out he's gay..." The first mother then asks, "well, what's the joy?" "I find out he's dating a doctor!"

[@mattlowder]

this was all far more funny and interesting than i thought it was going to be when i clicked on it.

[@EllaShartiel]

thanks, i guess!

[@mattlowder]

Ella Shartiel totally complementary. :)

[@tottythetwink6189]

Hey I'm grump I'm Jewish

[@wowwoah6392]

And we're the Game Grumps! (Btw your comment is so Jewd)

[@THESHADOWMASTER9]

Danny is Jesus. Confirmed.

[@doctorbodacious2598]

Jewsus?

[@THESHADOWMASTER9]

XD well Jesus was already jewish though.

[@Doctorblam]

sorry, that's reserved for Keanu Reeves

[@TrashGoblin34]

THE SHADOWMASTER9 I was going to like it but then I saw it had 69 likes

[@THESHADOWMASTER9]

lol

[@MegaBubbleGamer1]

9:28 "I wish..... ALL THE JEWS WERE GONE!" ..... "DANNY?!"

[@mightymads7109]

Sex-Bang 2013!

[@daboring1]

thats bloody rasict

[@nightrain3339]

ronthebro1 thats bloody quoting

[@Kemonokami]

I'm imagining Danny having blown up into a giant puff of steam. XD

[@Jordan3DS]

I heard him say "I wish all the Jews were God!"

[@strongside4565]

Danny's build is skinny but muscular? What? He's like 160lbs and a complete stringbean.

[@WolfHunner]

+Randy “Macho Man” Savage He's a vanilla midget

[@AmethystASTeRReisYALL]

+HighLevi He's over 6 feet.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

+Randy “Macho Man” Savage That's how men are, though. They can have no visible muscle mass but still lift a car. I hate it.

[@strongside4565]

Pyagrl*16 I don't know what you are talking about. Have you seen strongmen that lift cars? They are 400 lbs mountains of muscle. Danny would get blown over by a stiff breeze.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

Randy Savage I was exaggerating. But if you don't believe me about the gender difference in muscle mass-to-power output ratio, then read the abstract to this article: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8477683

[@jonutsthedanklordpayton]

As a ashkenazi that never grew up in the Jewish faith I find all of this funny.

[@zeldatrash7308]

about dans dad just saying 'yes' to multiple answer questions one time I was in algebra and there was a answer where you have to explain and I just wrote 'yes'

[@forgetfuldullahan5468]

We need his weed stories next.

[@abyazkarim6755]

A swastika? I did nazi that coming.

[@thesaddesthuman2954]

get out

[@dylankey_]

yeah nazi jokes arent funny anne frankley we need to stop

[@abyazkarim6755]

You're seriously stalin' over here.

[@TuyuqVampram]

Nazi jokes aren't for everyone, but they're Reich up my alley ;D

[@abyazkarim6755]

They just need a bit more concentration.

[@taylorcarson8893]

"I have to go take a shower" me: oooohhhhh noooo

[@AllyOJustice]

Taylor Carson way to go Joseph Joestar.

[@acherem13]

At 8:05 when he said "I'm wrecking shop" I was totally expecting him to follow up with "It's feels like Kristallnacht all over again"

[@ZeusRei]

3 seconds in. Already dying of laughter

[@timgaisek5938]

What game is that from?

[@Troopertroll]

Oh man, you have to have a part 2 to this. There's so much great stuff he's said, like when he talked about someone editing the Qumran Caves wiki page to say that Danny carved them XD

[@mrmd9324]

I'm Jewish And I can relate to almost all of this.

[@444Nightshade]

Ever try orange jewce? 100% concentrated

[@zoezych4578]

JFC DUDE WHY

[@MrmiK3]

There's only nein grams of sugar.

[@edgarstarling3363]

+Mr_ miK3 It got better.

[@TheVerseG]

It's a hit(ler)!

[@ZeArnold-mh8ig]

XD HAHAHAHA Danny:also not funny ; )

[@Kid-Swippler]

I feel like some of these could be future South Park jokes.

[@privatemcawesome4782]

I can see that

[@Applesgosh]

Holy shit that intro.

[@stevend285]

Christianity is basically just Jewish fanfiction.

[@chexlemeneux3484]

+Kwittycat D. It's all garbage. All Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) are based or rather stolen from ancient Mesopotamian (Sumerian, Babylonian, Assyrian, Canaanite, Akkadian) pagan religions. The book of genesis is a carbon copy of the Enuma Elish babylonian tablets, Noah's Ark and the Deluge, Adam and Eve...everything stolen (with some minor changes). Even the Hebrew word for God ''Elohim'' comes from the Ugaritic word ''El'', the creator God and chief deity of the Canaanite pantheon (also known as Elohim).

[@stevend285]

That's quite interesting, who knew that you could learn something other than racist and sexist slurs in KZbin comments

[@jessicajayes8326]

Well, Jesus was born and raised as a Jew.

[@Daelyah]

@@chexlemeneux3484 I wish my mobile phone could copy and paste; that way, I could save that info for later personal research. Would love to look up ancient religions; at the least to get inspiration for my stories.

[@imperator5228]

@@chexlemeneux3484 So you're saying Jews just stole and raped to invent their religion, basically? Cuz framing it as a giant lie is what scum do, especially given the Babylonian exile and exodus.

[@FireofthetigerYT]

"I wish... THAT ALL THE JEWS WERE GONE!! ...Danny? DANNY NOOO!!!" Best one

[@lungtail]

DAN'S HAIR HOLY SHIT

[@ToastedWafflez]

It's like candy floss!

[@lungtail]

It is. I don't want him to get a new haircut though, this one looks hella cute.

[@sugarbun9036]

Does foreskin act the same way as his hair?

[@Piematt1337]

Let'sPlaySomeGames He doesn't have foreskin, he's Jewish.

[@ToastCrossDimensions]

Wow, I just realized a connection between me and Danny. I am a half-Jew named Dan

[@PyroJiro]

Dude, real talk? Thats like a Total Cross of Dimensions

[@Wazzok1]

"Half-Jew"?

[@ToastCrossDimensions]

Like one parent is Jewish. I know that both of his parents are Jewish though.

[@ToastCrossDimensions]

Really? I thought he said she was... Oops, sorry.

[@Wazzok1]

***** Yes, she is. He mentions it all the time.

[@digimontydigimonty2116]

תודה למי שהכין את זה, זה ענה לי על מלא שאלות לגבי דני כגון האם הוא באמת יהודי וזה לא בדיחה פנימית שפספסתי איפשהו

[@EllaShartiel]

שמחתי לעזור!

[@NahashBat]

+Ella Shartiel הוא באמת יהודי?

[@EllaShartiel]

+the cute bonnie girl mlp fnaf אכן

[@NahashBat]

Ella Shartiel יאי

[@ralphshweky1550]

+tomer yair !כן הוא באמת יהודי

[@brady_boi]

for some reason I wasn't expecting the intro to say "Jewish" and I lost it.

[@tarrker]

I WONDER IF MAYBE HE'S JEWISH!??!?!?

[@EllaShartiel]

nah, I don't think so

[@kaylaburney3789]

Of course he isn't, what would make you think that?

[@22Famine22]

I thought Danny's Jewish Stories would be about him being Jewish but I watched the whole video and I'm still confused, maybe he just knows a guy and was talking about everything hypothetically.

[@john_titor1]

22Famine22 He is quite obviously jewish....

[@alfd11]

5:55 I wish that Arin would've responded with "I've never seen Tora! Tora! Tora!" Danny would've lost it lol

[@matildafermin3018]

"Well I've never seen The Tora" "But that's not a movie, that's a holy book."

[@brutalbunny]

jesus christ. earlier today i was watching this w/ my mom in the room and she looks over and says, "oh yeah! i forgot to tell you, apparently we're jewish." thanks ancestry.com + also danny sexbang :^)

[@EllaShartiel]

why jesus christ then

[@SuperFranzs]

+Ella Shartiel he was a Jew....

[@chickenpermission4909]

+Kim André Moen Bjørkede jews dont believe in jesus DUH XD

[@SuperFranzs]

jaxheadlines _ They do, but they think he was just a nice dude.

[@glitchygutz]

Ella Shartiel We don’t believe in him but we can still use his name as an exclamation.

[@comradeclown3403]

DANNY IS A SEXY, JEWISH MAN! I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON DANNY!

[@laniedeedee]

DUDE SAME

[@romailardi3417]

DemonMinxOfGeekness SSAAAMMMMEEE!

[@kieranmccallough5199]

DemonMinxOfGeekness I want to take him to Frisco town. Don't judge me.

[@megglessenpai2893]

Danny is the best!

[@voldlifilm]

I love this. Jews used to be some bunch of people in the middle east to me. Now they're Danny's people. I like Danny. By extension, I like his people.

[@HeadsetGuy]

"That's not a movie, that's a Holy Book."

[@manbearpig900]

This was published 2 years ago! There has to be a part 2 somewhere!?

[@EllaShartiel]

why would you assume such a thing

[@manbearpig900]

More dreaming, than assuming :(

[@EllaShartiel]

+manbearpig900 sorry

[@Kunio]

Jewish jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do nazi the point of them.

[@discountcowboy6715]

You sir. Are a genius.

[@andrewlagno9482]

BA DUM TSSS

[@ryansvideos100]

XxAngiexXRPI I know, and I hate the fact that it makes me laugh.

[@mysteryman7766]

Andrew Lagno Its **Buh dum tss**

[@NeO_SaNdMaN4040]

"BUH-DUM-TSSS!" *cue cheap crowd laughter and claps*

[@Fonetix710]

I love this video! I watch it anytime i need a pick-me-up and its the best thing ever! Thanks!!!

[@EllaShartiel]

TheHordeforthewin Thank you!

[@Barshaviak]

זה הפך כבר להרגל לראות את זה פעם בחודש לפחות...

[@EllaShartiel]

אז אתה אשם במיליון וחצי צפיות? ידעתי...

[@Barshaviak]

פחות או יותר. כאילו. פאק. הסרטון הזה וDans weed stories זה הפייבס שלי.

[@EllaShartiel]

+Sarge Appledan הייתי אומרת שאני גאה בזה אבל יותר ממליון וחצי צפיות זה ממש המון מידי

[@Barshaviak]

+Ella Shartiel DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD

[@teadop]

למה כל תגובות שלך במרווחים החוצה ? ומה אנחנו מדברים כאן !

[@AudreyGalaxy]

Danny's so cool, I wish he were Jewish like me...

[@notanamericankid6924]

But... But he is Jewish...

[@LeeroyJenkinsAKAYukki]

+Keeping Orthodox and Messianic away and at check People. But they wrote the ideas of god.

[@itsbaguette]

lel im Jewish

[@SimonTheDigger]

1:23 - That is not a Swastika. You can see the original ancient symbol here in the map. In Japan this symbol is known as a "Manji" and it represents universal harmony, and the balance of opposites. Many other people use this under different names as a symbol of divinity but not until World War 2 and Nazi Germany did Hitler decide to adopt it and invert it to create the "Swastika".

[@jawnvaljawn]

Simon The Digger yeah but representatives of groups who used it for other purposes voluntarily signed a treaty that said that they would not use it for their religions/cultures anymore, as the Nazi party made such a horrible impact on the world and they didn't want to hurt anyone who was affected by it. so whether or not it was meant to be antisemitic, it was still pretty disrespectful.

[@BeeTriggerBee]

Rachel Nussbaum No cuz the nazis used it backwards and tilted the swastika, There is alot of cultures that dates back 1000 years that still use the sun cross aka swastika, And they will still do. And saying its disrespectful is like saying using runes is disrespectful just cuz hitler had an hardon for nordic mythology. There is a difference thats all im saying.

[@jawnvaljawn]

Trigger Bee wow you didn't read a word of what I just said did you

[@SchAlternate]

Simon The Digger It's always been called the Swastica, and it always was a symbol of well being and peace. Hitler used that symbol because of that, as he believed that (or at least, everyone who bought his bull) the Nazi way was the way to go. And, after Germany got its ass handed over by the end of WWI and faced a huge economic crisis (which they attributed to the jews), the Germans saw Hitler as the one who would lead them to glory and prosperity, and an age of well being and peace... which is what the Swastica represents. But, you know, considering all the horrible, inhumane things the nazis did, you can kind of see why the symbol that was so integrated to that ideology was banned forever.

[@SacridFire]

Simon The Digger Eh, the Manji is a Tibetan symbol, but close enough

[@lshooklee765]

Actually, the Bible does say that God created us from dust and brought us to life with his breath. That's why us Catholics celebrate Ash Wednesday. When they put ashes on your forehead, it's a reminder that you were made out of ashes and dust and your physical form will turn back into dust after death. Kinda awesome to be honest. Sad, too. Everyone is extremely serious during church that day.

[@lshooklee765]

***** I'm guessing you haven't read the beginning of the Bible. Humans were the last thing God made. He made us to take care of the land and animals that he had already made. So we were made out of ashes, dust, clay, etc. Woman was made out of Adam's rib to be his companion and keep him from loneliness.

[@lshooklee765]

***** Believe it or not, by willing it to be there. That's all. Haven't you ever heard the quote "God said,'Let there be light' and there was light". That's one of the first lines in the Bible. You're welcome to your own beliefs, though.

[@lshooklee765]

***** Nothing. God has always existed and always will exist. There has never been a moment of time where there was no God. And there never will be.

[@lshooklee765]

***** God is immortal. In heaven there is a chorus of angels and unimaginable creatures eternally singing HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHO WAS, AND IS, AND IS TO COME. No one has a real explanation, but be glad that he has existed that way. Otherwise, we would never have been created.

[@lshooklee765]

***** Yes.

[@Keyboardkat3]

If dan was a time traveler, we could call him Doctor Jew.

[@clockworkrobot6437]

This is the most beautiful thing ive seen all year

[@Zero-th2fu]

Why is Danny not called "The Star Spangled Banger?"

[@TNTThemes]

Nice to see a comment section that isn't a giant religion flame war.

[@joelpersson9572]

I have to agree with you on that.

[@carlaxed]

I'm glad Danny isn't one of those people to defend their religion like it's cake. He can makes jokes about being Jewish and laughs at the other's Jewish jokes without beating the crap out of them.

[@petermarsella6537]

And then if someone says something that's too offensive, he doesn't get mad, just lets them know that it wasn't funny

[@mammamiaculpa]

after all, jews famously do not make jokes about jewishness ever

[@dubu9881]

I died laughing when Ross said “I have to go take a shower WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.” Dan’s reaction was fucking priceless.

[@aidanwilson2389]

Around 6 in. "That's not a movie. That's a holy book."