Darkk's Souls III: The Chronicles of Krimpus Perineum

[@kilcanolpal3738]

"I feel like a man with a fork in a world of soup" Powerful words

[@thanthanh5190]

It means i feel useless

[@Uwhwvwgwh]

@@thanthanh5190 he now

[@MESTINGRAY]

Died a bunch in dark souls III? Corki got into harvard and yale.

[@hawtsauce1122]

LoL

[@filippocioccolanti8244]

you are a true legend

[@prachetasnayse9709]

Yes

[@ferretinadurag187]

I forgot what video that was from :(

[@definitelydan2711]

@@ferretinadurag187 i think its the urf video

[@matt051992]

"Maybe I do suck at videogames" -Every damn newcomer in dark Souls.

[@phantomberzerk9486]

I melted through them

[@fortnitefan7273]

I played the original an spent like 3 hours fighting the asylum demon because I didn’t know what you were supposed to do, then promptly quit because I had wasted enough time

[@frankenstein6677]

Actually the eyes on the sides of the head are useful if you're prey. Eyes on the front are the evolutionary advantage that allows predators to focus, probably triggering the development of intelligence.

[@imasiontist653]

Franken Stein the Chad front vs the virgin sides.

[@wooju08]

In dark souls you are the prey

[@firdausgaara2006]

Dude eye at front is for depth perception. Not for intelligence, it got nothing to do with intelligence.

[@roseknightly4741]

@@firdausgaara2006 Shhh.. it's a joke shush

[@lick28]

@@firdausgaara2006 damn reading comprehension is dead

[@henryflickinger9321]

is this a 20 minute video of you trying to beat iudex gundyr

[@Diego-bz5sh]

but it's funny af

[@mazafaka324]

ikr, but man u didn't use your shield even once. Trust me that will help, ive completed this game. Maybe the starting shield isn't that effective (cause it doesent have a 100% physical attack absorb), but it will still help. Also if u want to make more videos about this u should definetly lock on targets m8

[@kushwallace691]

blocking your way to the final boss ? git gud mate :)

[@jaleon1106]

Who is Iudex Gundyr? I saw a 20 minute video of him trying to beat Junji Ito.

[@StashBashGamez]

It's junji

[@SolaireOAstora]

My god dude do i love watching new people come into darksouls it is the most blessed thing ever

[@chellmell3388]

watching casul scrubl0rds git gud is beautiful. brings tears to my eyes ;-;

[@TechGamer86]

"They grow up so fast" ;-;

[@alkarioma]

"THAT'S MY BOY!"

[@larksidemoon6505]

And it only took infinite attempts

[@sorryme7148]

Then please...I know you said this a year ago but I just ordered Dark Souls 3 : ^) I'm going to suck more ass than Darkk Mane

[@Yishy22]

when riot makes a darkmane thresh skin

[@OKgor]

It's funny because the new one is black and purple-ish

[@roganlyons3756]

My eyes have been opened

[@Yishy22]

+OK gor daah

[@OKgor]

+Yishy22 for some reason I thought your comment was a question, sorry

[@hyunxzseu]

he decided to quit league hahah

[@ShadowGeek12]

Day 367 still waiting for adventures of krimpus the continue

[@Josiahhhhhhh]

ShadowGeek12 day 935...we’re beginning to lose hope...

[@azdf43]

Josiah Thieme day 937, still waiting

[@basselsak6111]

@@azdf43 day 944 stil no plans in his mind as far as I know

[@nbam.a.t.a9350]

Day 947, play bloodborne, more aggresive

[@connor6858]

Please come back to this game

[@clareja6719]

3:05 when the Natives met Europeans in America

[@anonim6728]

The only diffrence is natives disappeared not the whites

[@atocanboi409]

comedy genius

[@DarkkMane]

I suck massive ass

[@austinharris1748]

I would do far worse @darkkmane

[@user-my2rc1hx4y]

20 min video for the tutorial .... that's some indept footage right there. Love your dedication man!!

[@secretlyshiro5090]

will you be making more dark souls videos?

[@mr.hanfblatt9152]

we all do, thats why we subscribed your channel ._.

[@mrsnikeersneerph4nt0m13]

You can't really be good at dark souls you only get a little bit better every time ya play

[@EloraCaistina]

I wana watch him play the entire game

[@renno2679]

CrystalEmbrace the farthest he got was after Pontiff Sulyvahn

[@mateoherrera4605]

really?

[@silvanodesimone6582]

Wild Doggo there is any trace of that on KZbin?

[@ondranovak718]

You have that much free time?

[@flowerwithamachinegun2692]

He already did, he defeat the Dark Soul

[@vprotoniic8149]

so a 20 min vid for the tutorial boss. wp

[@Tyler.8046]

To be fair, Iudex can be one of the more difficult bosses simply because you don't have a wide variety of weapon selection. You can't really figure out what weapon you'd like to use. Mercenary was my first class and I wasn't a big fan of the Sellswords, albeit it only took me about 10 attempts. EDIT: Since then I've made 2 new characters and beat him first attempt on both of them, one sorcerer and one knight. Much prefer magic and straight swords to the sellswords.

[@ironmaidenmetalgod]

+Tyler Wardle parry. he goes monster mode in 2-3 parries. then use fire bombs. dead

[@Lolvi6]

+Tyler Wardle thanks dude, screenshot this to make a hilarious meme

[@Lolvi6]

+Tyler Wardle also git gud, everyone I know killed him first try

[@Tyler.8046]

ironmaidenmetalgod I'm Not Onii-chan First of all, it was my first Dark Souls game, so I hadn't the slightest clue how to parry. Now I can do it with some reliability. The only bosses I really struggle with at this point are Nameless King, mostly because I haven't practiced him enough, and occasionally Champion Gundyr, simply because I haven't practiced his parry times which always end up being slightly later than I expect them to be with how fast he is. Mostly its just a matter of practicing the end game bosses.

[@heavenbuilder2365]

Now, kids, do you know why darkkmane has the evolutionary advantage? Because, unlike most of you, he learnt in 7th grade that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

[@dad5088]

6th grade

[@BabyCalypso]

"Learnt"

[@azsampako2266]

Well anybody with greater iq than a goldfish should know that, idk how this is even a joke

[@Nobody-pv9jt]

@@azsampako2266 its a meme

[@soulsilvermaster123]

There are billions of KZbin videos and this is my favorite one

[@ethanawakened9699]

Same, I've watched this so many times lol

[@willtattersall1940]

soulsilvermaster123 I've watched every video imaginable and this is in the top 6,374,449. Which is quite high

[@vtk.pyr0]

Same

[@Ness-rn9ub]

for me too m8

[@danjor5749]

I literally beat Dark Souls 3 today. Watching this video in celebration feels pretty great.

[@joshmazany1590]

Danjor ds3 is a peace of piss

[@theonlyonewhomatters1535]

Did you beat every boss alone? Including optional bosses? And get to new game+7?

[@barney2159]

The Only One Who Matters you're talking like you've gotten gud, casul

[@michaelsinger5851]

Danjor dark souls 3 was the first dark souls I’ve 100% completed without glitches lmao

[@danjor5749]

The Only One Who Matters I beat every boss alone including the optional ones besides Soul of Cinder, and that was more from a lore standpoint, as I fought him with Lydia which I found fitting with my ending. But I stopped playing a little bit into N+.

[@josheho]

Beating that boss would have been a lot easier if Shinji just got into the fucking robot.

[@vtk.pyr0]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@Medbread]

Is it bad that I actually have a bond with Gibly now?

[@supermarioallen]

Gibly was the real Dark Soul.

[@herks487]

I killed Gibly

[@aldrichdevourerofgods4999]

R.I.P. Gibly

[@123Matricule]

Gibly is the new Marauder Shields

[@gibly5636]

I'm never really dead (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

[@I0kcguitarassasin]

I can't wait to see you fight the naked weeaboo man.

[@jethrotheguy9938]

You mean the naked homeless samurai?

[@I0kcguitarassasin]

Jethro yeah

[@chellmell3388]

Yasuo with hygiene issues.

[@I0kcguitarassasin]

+chell mell kek'd

[@vaprin2019]

I think he's making a reference to lilypichu's video where she called him the weaboo man

[@JulAngby]

A year later and "This was not in the brochure" and "Kill me" gets me every time

[@meunomenaoethiago284]

I say "this was not in the brochure" to this day

[@gi8809]

Man I keep coming back to this. This must be one of my fav Dark Mane videos.

[@Melystes]

You should've used Perinium's chin to win

[@WalkingToothbrush]

#chintowin

[@shaxi101]

"I'm gonna name you joseph" Oh well...I didn't expect that.

[@potatosalad6977]

Nice profile pic

[@shaxi101]

+Potato Salad Tanks you too!

[@nemanjatomov2170]

poro salad

[@queenofuwu]

What about bing?

[@atocanboi409]

when I heard that the USSR national anthem started playing in my head

[@ChChChChancho]

y'know, when I saw that the video was this long, I thought it might be the entire game or at least a good part of it. You sure showed me

[@renno2679]

I've watched this so many times already oh my god

[@remochii]

Wild Doggo same. It never gets old

[@Samuraiyann]

i know i am 2 years late... but this video was HILARIOUS AF

[@martinbriza4645]

i know i am 3 years late... butt this video was HALARIOUS AF

[@longvunguyentran5585]

Still hillarious af

[@midenarithmos9200]

Yep, Helirous af

[@lazypanda38]

Still heriulius af

[@26_swords]

Yeah hilarious af

[@theveremianshow2101]

Insanity: Doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting different results- Vaas Montrnegro

[@minimosern]

Pretty sure that was Albert Einstein...

[@RadTicTacs]

Yeah it was. It's sad that people think that was from a game

[@admiralackbar6490]

How ignorant can someone be? -.-

[@FakeEgirl]

Albert einstein you ignorant fuck.

[@Loudoan]

There's a very good chance that that's a huge pile of dogshit There isn't any actual proof that Einstein said that or wrote it down

[@RabbitPlaysGames]

Darkk Mane, you've opened up a can of worms, my friend. I now expect more Dark Souls III videos from you!

[@Bauwagen_Records]

Finally some quality content.

[@Bauwagen_Records]

actually i meant that evangelion kazoo theme

[@B3astBagel]

This guy with 20 subs thinks he knows what quality content is lmao

[@Bauwagen_Records]

+Beast Bagel I bet you're fun on party's!

[@B3astBagel]

+C9 Adblock Plus yeah im not fun in parties im fun on them.

[@Bauwagen_Records]

+Beast Bagel that makes no sense?

[@DJPeachCobbler]

Best video on youtube

[@NycolasPedro]

Yes, indeed.

[@Bruh-el9js]

unironically the best video you ever put out

[@OfDaSouth]

"I feel like a man with a fork in a world of soup..." -Darkmane 2016

[@MrLimon27]

What have you done, Darkman? Now you have to give us Dark Souls and League of Legendd videos!

[@cjbrothwell6304]

HE BETTER

[@MEGAGODULTRA]

ENGRISH GROOD

[@MrLimon27]

Mao Yes, yes, many english. Very good. Yes. Wait, what? Because I said "Legendd" instead of "Legends"? xD Or was it the "Darkman"? That was a joke.

[@MEGAGODULTRA]

+Iván Rivera XD No, I was talking about the guy who wrote "HE BETTER"

[@slendeaway7730]

+Mao Come on almighty Chairman Mao, he said "He better" as in "He better make League and Dark Souls videos" :^)

[@jacklegends2799]

7:51 love how he used Guts for this game. Truly a perfect coincedence.

[@DagamerPC]

Oh Hes not locking on Ooooooooooohhhhhh Ooooooohhhhh booooooyyyyy Oooooohhh mmyyyyy

[@deathgnomes]

Who the fuck locks on?

[@doradanwarframeisteyenadam7897]

deathgnomes I DO

[@deathgnomes]

it's a joke bro, I go both depending on the situation.

[@patinho5589]

It really hurts.. it was like the first message teaching you how to fight and play the game

[@erberlon]

who in hell doesn't on Iudex?

[@thelastpayphone8463]

3:06 "What is this white man, why is he here" Legit every country ever invaded by Great Britain ever.

[@elektriksvarsiki]

It has been two years,so i am not sure if you're reading this.But if you're,have a nice day.You just made mine.

[@calvintuano557]

welcome to the early club. we serve 360p the club's best quality vid

[@alexfincu]

Ok I want a series out of this.

[@joel7893]

I just fucking love the fact that you can actually hear Dark Mane stab his mic with his chin when he's talking about using his character's chin as a weapon

[@hilarus2946]

11:50 one of the most beautiful moments in the history of youtube

[@BenStuff]

This may be one of my favourite Darkk Mane video so far

[@ianlee6296]

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

[@I0kcguitarassasin]

Cringe is the overuse of the memes.

[@shoebaby]

.

[@RichalisQc]

4 years later and I'm still here hoping for a sequel

[@DammitSinged]

If you think about it , we're all Ghouls n Ghost on the inside.

[@thebald4910]

7:45The phrase "it's just a game is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, you've lost twice. There's always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.

[@SuperSpectrum99]

You are just awesome darkkmane. I honestly think that you are the only youtuber able to make a 20 min video where 15 of them is just you fighting the same boss all over again and still make an entertaining video. Keep up with the good work man.

[@user-ts7tp1dh6f]

1:50, if you listen carefully, you can hear leafy crying.

[@ardekakka]

17:53 was that a fucking mithocondria

[@vidborko7855]

YP

[@grompeyhd4310]

THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL!

[@SidnerTheNiceGuy]

+Grompey HD "Ore wa powa haosu do cerru"

[@michaelkawamura9296]

Professor Darkk Mane, you have so wonderfully explained the evolutionary advantages of having eyes on opposite sides of the face, and a chin pointy to poke a hole through paper (who would have thought of the advantages of having nearly 190 degrees of vision!), please explain the brilliance in the evolutionary advantages of purple skin! I implore that you dispense your unearthly knowledge upon my simpleton mind!

[@chellmell3388]

Purple retains heat better so he can absorb vitamin D better in a world where the sun is dying.

[@jeanttbs]

The remake of the Neon Evangelion opening in the last segment was so fucking good, I love that opening so much and you just made so so so much better

[@RuneKatashima]

I like how you immediately gave up the benefit of the Ember beating him gave you by immediately dying and also never figuring out you can just jump on to that coffin thing from above for the item.

[@gingerlemon8656]

when I saw attempt 2 I knew this was gonna be long

[@salvadorcito144xD]

I need a part 2 pls

[@Mazzarin7]

THIS IS THE BESTO ANIME OF THE SEASON

[@juanito_666]

I came back to this video so many times now I cant even count and I laugh the whole video every time, I wish there were uploads more frequently

[@iisdashik]

Wow, had a really good time with this video. Kudos to u mate!

[@Ocvirk420]

Junji Ito is an amazing manga artist I love the fact Darkk loves to misread names intentionally and just names shit after thingson his mind Makes u know he cares

[@TheArrow125]

That nge ending was amazing omg

[@OrionsTale]

Top 10 Anime battles.

[@randybutternubz5525]

this is by far one of my favorite videos

[@TheFamilyLedger]

I would love to watch a TV show or movie with a premise like this. If a man were to get stuck in a Darksouls like world with infinite respawns, but has to continue until he beats every boss. He would just be a real sassy guy to talks to himself a lot.

[@4834-d7x]

Got my T-Shirt today, nice one Darkmane

[@erickschusterdeoliveira2662]

I got the sweater yo. Shit looks good.

[@joaquinreyes2156]

+Bayonetta Is My Goddess ohhh so that's how you use it

[@ZVINTAO]

Still one of my favorite videos

[@ptrvevo5853]

after 2 weeks my darkk mane cup finally arived in germoney 😍

[@tree7114]

That's good delervery time I live in canda and it takes four weeks for something to get here from America

[@RabbitPlaysGames]

Have you received many compliments on your new hat? :P

[@trulyou]

how come I didnt get mine? I ordered it 5 weeks ago... :(

[@fpsRussiaviewer]

lol that's strange. Where in Canada do you live?

[@kapitan19969838]

From America? But Canada does lie in America, North America to be more specific

[@ramadingoschromosome1085]

This is such a great damn video man, i honestly think your effort and quality is over the fkn top, no joke man. For real great job

[@juanito_666]

I come back to this video every like two weeks cause this is the best fckin video nithin has put out, and it will be the best forever

[@TheReaperGriefer]

*I Missed The Kazoo*

[@vegeta3807]

1:35 leafy triggered

[@ricozotv]

who?

[@1ab23c4d5e6f]

Hey Dark, look in at ur left hand. Thats a sheild. Use it.

[@CaptainKronkers]

No lock on, roll only full playthrough.

[@ollie6458]

The assassin's shield sucks.

[@slowbeak3035]

Jaum e.e he could have used the parry

[@ollie6458]

He just started playing, i doubt he can parry.

[@slowbeak3035]

Jaum e.e lol good point

[@richpie6308]

Man Darkk Mane, you are going to get content ID'ed that ending was too good

[@mahmud7645]

5 years later, still amused by this display of absolute casul-ness

[@tahmkenchusta5852]

This is art

[@spagoot9991]

as a dark souls 3 player, it was REALLY DISTURBING to watch him trying to beat gundyr without focusing on him almost half of the video

[@alexparramore537]

I've only been watching for 30 seconds and I'm already laughing. 😂 His vids are hilarious

[@lolimmune]

If this was all you did for the rest of your life on KZbin. I'd watch it all . I demand more

[@Wesley-ki8lk]

"Dude this man's sword sweep has the circumference of the length of the Mississippi River" -Darkk Mane 2016

[@uwu-mu6xy]

this was totally me in dark souls 1 but with taurus demon

[@Rawr10109]

Paneleiro When I fought Taurus Demon he leaped backwards off of the bridge and died instantly XD

[@uwu-mu6xy]

Rawr10109 Literally everyone had luck with him except me :)

[@lazyelectron8376]

Anyone else heard the Neon Genesis Evangelion theme playing at 1:56 lol ?

[@Bauwagen_Records]

watch the video to the end xD

[@tomishimatakumi7901]

I started crying. so funny

[@ultima2786]

LazyElectron yes and I noticed how his character looks like unit 01

[@rampageblizzard]

@@ultima2786 YOOOOO

[@noechoprime]

3:03 *Africa in 1885*

[@DadaisKirby]

"oh you can lock onto enemies. that makes things so much easier" *instantly dies*

[@Tikiswagz]

I have to give you some credit, your probably one of the few people that can actually make me cry from laughing....

[@kainxjm]

Yo Darkk, I know you most likely won't see or reply to my comment, but I have to say your videos are actually one of the highlights of my week. You're funny, entertaining, and I know you're busy with work and everything do you can't make videos, but I just wanted to say that you're the best league of legends youtuber (if not best youtuber,) and I hope you don't stop making videos. Also, #Darkkmane4president2017

[@TheMisterQuake]

Does that guy look like Moonman or is that just me?

[@dbzmaster1213]

Meanwhile - immensely happy that I don't play Dark Souls...

[@HalfBitCard]

It is not really that hard... he just really sucks.

[@KsanUwU]

yeah its not hard, but he had never played dark souls before so i guess he's doing fine for that class.

[@HalfBitCard]

+Rias-Sama it took him way to long for ludex... if he played ds2 he would be fucked over

[@KsanUwU]

HalfBitCard ds2 is easier early on.

[@HalfBitCard]

+Spiral Of Dreams For me ds2 was harder then ds3. their were way more bosses in ds2 than ds3 and it was more challenging. Only 4 bosses I can say were challenging in ds3: Champion Of Gundyr, Soul of Cinder, Aldrich (freaking arrows...), and our favorite boss (drumroll)....... the nameless king.

[@donjones4022]

I would kill for a full play through of this... I laughed... I cried... I cried from laughter. I know I just need more of this.

[@thatgirlamelia8246]

ive watched almost all of this beautiful mans video's and this one is still my favorite

[@seanmckinney8637]

You should do a series were you finish the game

[@leme686]

I think it'll take forever xD...it'll be fun to watch...

[@luanpeterlevitz3816]

What's the music from the cool montage at the end, I know it isn't Sarude Dunkstorm (Is this a thing yet?)

[@paarthunax2890]

It's the theme song from Neon Genesis Evangelion, an anime from the 90's.

[@agustinfernandez5115]

a cruel angel's thesis evangelion's opening theme

[@luanpeterlevitz3816]

Thanks, I knew that I heard it before

[@luanpeterlevitz3816]

ITS WAS IN FRONT OF MY EYES ALL THIS TIME

[@NeoAxiom]

aka the theme song for the best anime ever.

[@RealEsther]

am i the only one who thinks that Krimpus Perineum looks like Quentin Tarantino?

[@grandbean9031]

"I'm gonna name you Goku" Little did he know,that Goku would end up taking revenge by training and becoming the hardest boss of the game. Good luck killing Nameless King aka Goku.

[@alexioan5912]

I like how he forgot he has a shield

[@IggyTheHelpless]

How many actual tries? :D

[@paoloelias6697]

hes still going

[@littlejegster7419]

legend says that victory was fake and he is still trying

[@SuperSapuenLP]

+Jegster InDaHood This video was his dream

[@phatrickparsons4047]

sad I know him irl and he still can't beat the boss

[@DremanPT]

And that felling is why we play dark souls!

[@mumflrpie1813]

When will your glorious products come back? I want a hoodie ☹😠

[@itscarl0zyall1]

A 20 min video on Darkk Mane playing DS3? Thank you lawd

[@Balgus4]

You know what would be great to watch on stream at Twitch? The rest of the epic badass chronicle of the peak of evolution! Trust me, I haz a phd

[@flashyflame495]

"oh no a liberal" I am dead

[@oliverhammond5860]

I watched this during class, worst idea ever it's the most I've laughed it a while

[@oliverhammond5860]

in*

[@llanidrac]

tell junji I didn't care enough to finsih his ghost manga collection

[@lokometalero]

The joke about the dude with a fork was the best laugh I've ever had, keep up that nice and simple humor.

[@geokami6793]

we need more videos like these from you man plus more dark souls