Dating a Dealer | Randy's Perspective

I struggled with addiction for almost 10 years. I have been in and out of jail/prison for years. Now I am working on my bachelors degree in psychology. This story is based on my own personal opinion and experiences.
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[@nicolenezzio6230]

I want Randy to know that it’s okay to relapse and that doesn’t mean it’s over. He can still get better. Much love for Randy!!

[@TheEverSerene]

Nicole, you said it beautifully, girl 💜

[@taylorbond7375]

🧡

[@Rebelgirl-kv6bd]

I love this comment & I 100% agree!!

[@jennifercate8996]

Nicole Nezzio send him a letter

[@nicolenezzio6230]

TheEverSerene Thank you for saying that. You are so sweet ❤️❤️

[@GrannyXOXO]

Interesting how in the past he wanted you to get sober, and now you’re the one helping him get sober. Crazy how life works out! All the best to Randy 💪

[@JenDoe1]

rachel gran Interesting isn’t it? Honestly it shows the sheer power of addiction.

[@christinaarandall]

Here for it 💙

[@makeupsheri]

I'm really sad for him. I'm not going anywhere. You have my support Jess and Randy. Day by day. 🙏🥰❤❤❤❤

[@humanityinterrupted7746]

Christina Randall on Sept 11 2017 at 9 pm was the last time I used since Sept 12 2017 I've been clean not forcefully on the streets of took several trys and I didn't get it write until after 3 failed attempts of getting and staying clean as well mentally I was more worried about getting high but you get to a point you don't get high anymore and you don't find any pleasure in using amymore and the only reason why is your getting high is to feel normal better not sick and after all the drugs I started smoking at a young age by 15 I've already done meth became a full time alcoholic gave up meth at 16 I was already hyper I liked downers not uppers drinking a full fith of whiskey to my self if not more a day drank every night from 16 until I turned 21 a bar ruined that experiance gave up drinking I'm 28 I gave up hardcore drinking on my 21st bday and in 7 years ive maybe drank 7 or 8 times and small small amounts no more than half a pint and very spaced out got a spice habit ended up hooked on heroin got a forceful unknowing shot my. First time by a girl that was doing something else o didn't expect to have a needle shoved in me have a successful shot done and I didn't notice until she said done confused because she was doing something else i dropped my hard and when she showed me she shot me up land I didn't even feel it being done was told she was done started nodding got really high woke up super sick started using with help got on a small amount of trouble 30 days jail went through my first withdraw it scarred me bad then get out I'm clean still feel like crap get a call your cousin owes us money he said you would pay it basically o told them I'll take care of it because they were talking about killing him get to the place they are holding him hostage over 120.00 dollars knock on their door get invited I'n door get a door slammed behind me 2.guys with assault rifles pointing at me say strip naked check my. Stuff found out I'm good.np worry but the first guy who opens door says your doing a shot to prove yourself they do the shot done by force they had guns put loaded they were serious people.after they force me to shoot up one brings a key full of coke he says sniff they bring him out bloody I paid his debt got re hooked ended up relapsing because of that for saving my cousin used went from 2 15 pounds built heavy muscles fit went from 215 pounds to 98 pounds from using so bad and so much for in trouble did another 30 days relapsed on my.owm accord then having own mom cause my house fire then spend my saving on a nice rv it had issues driving that were. Not disclosed sold it got a newer one spent my last 4000.00 I had getting it owned it for day drove it back to my hometown at the time parked at a store buying supplys was talking it to a lott a cop whole I was shopping had it hooked up to a tow truck for parking for 30 minutes buying supplys showed the cop I barely just bought it had a lott to put it on power sewer water gas and I shoe him the bill of sale all the new supplys everyrhing I had left after the fire was in their so the cop decided with proof of the lott proof of buying it not even 12 hours prior to being here parked didn't even own my 2nd one for a day and the cop tool everyrhing o owned as well as a 65 year old female a liver kidney transplant patient he too a old lady's home even her CHLOTHES and meds was explained we spent our last life savings pur home.burned down a month in a half prior got the first rv spent alot for it to drive not even 4 miles breaks down had to sell it or loose it by tow get the 2nd one it was nice and they took a old lady's home and tool everyrhing she owned knowing we had the proof it was just bought we even has a place to take it legally and have fill hookups they take our last possessions after loosing our home to a fire the first rv and spme.money then spent everything i had left got a nice one they took it the police and tow truck it's snowing she's old we had no home money and they did for 8 blocks it was gonna cost us 1200.00 dollars and each day it adds like.60.bucks went their to get our stuff from inside.you can't have your stuff nothing of.value they let me take her meds paperwork i had 400 dollars in frozen and cold food as well as dry storage 30 23 packs o mean they let all the food go bad and all my personal stuff movies games all my nice stuff they would not let me take my stuff nothing and even only me take one outfit they even kept my clothes and after all the lifelong stuff after 3 relapses and I was not longer getting high I was using to be better being on the streets again after my own mom burns down my house get sold a lemon loose money it broke down and I was told you have 7bhours to have it gone or we tow it took a huge loss spend everything I had for a good one it gets taken by a police officer who as a officer left a 65 year old female who's is aiver and kidney transplant patient frail even took a old lady's stuff for people who were trying to start over and rebuild 3 homes lost due to selfish people my m and my house fire s huge liar con artist and a cop who is suppose to protect and serve sits and just bashes on a 65 year old lady they take her home after loosing 2 in a months time and spent everything explained everyrhing and the cop just kept trashing her we got a transient in a rv and after all the drama and bad stuff over and over Sept 11 2017 a American police officer left 2 people in 35 degree weather about ready to start dumping snow they proudly with a smile made us really homeless after all the bad stuff 3 homes lost all our property and money gone due to what other people caused forcing us in a 2002 mazda protege with no heat freezing to death in mid winter when I saw that cop smiling for taking our home and did it proudly it was 9 11 17 I used for the last time that night the next day I went cold turkey and now almost 2 years later I've been clean since Sept 12 2017 no relapses and on 9 12 19 2 days from now 2 years clean and I did it for myself.by wanting it for my self and I don't have any more cravings I've tried thinking about screw it lets relapse thinking this on purpose and my body is so done exspcially mentally I don't have any desire to use i don't want to use and the longer I'm clean the more I don't want anything to do with any of it as a whole and I don't dream about it anymore either I only have positive thoughts o was 98 pounds a Skelton after being really built lost almost 100 pounds in 6 months and now my.black eyes are gone I look.sp much better I'm more social now and o have realy Goals I've gotten a newer nicer suv v8 engine fully paid off as well as insurance and legal registration I own it with the title spent 5000 on a used suv I own ive been super strict change your CHLOTHES wake up get ready I wear a brand new white t shirt daily as well as new socks daily I don't wear the same thing twice anymore because of the streets and being homeless. At a young age since I was 12 to take the whole world on work graduate people.spemd 100 bucks easily for a nice new shirt a nice pair of pants shoes boxers pants and they only get 1 of each for that price For 100 dollars you can get a new pair of shoes that are nice black long socks 20 socks for 30 bucks 30 white t shirts for 60 for 100 dollars I dress in New clothes daily for what another person spends and only gets one out fit I dress very clean nice hats watches fresh and I have more confidence now in my looks I'm a solid 145 150 now and I haven't dropped below that on 2 years happier now as well then I've ever been and o have goals for a. New home savings being able to travel go out have money becsue it's not spent on drugs and finnaly rebuilding my life get a 700 dollar gaming and I've kept all my stuff now it's not bought and sold within 3 weeks for drugs my social aspect has gone from o would not talk to anyone to I'll look someone in the eyes shake their hand and talk and I tend to do it more and more because before I got clean I went my whole life i was always alone on my own to makesomething of myself so I was reclusive anti social and now like this message I can't stop talking and I have confidence in doing so as before when I did talk to someone I would not even look them in their face I'm proud of my self in order to get clean you have to want to be done be honest with yourself you have a problem and take it one hour at a time until one day at a time after 6 months of one day at a time to to support groups divorce all using friends and family delete your dealers numbers and ground your self the first year is rough but the growth will show results I'm sorry this message is so long I'll edit it but I'm excited after my wholelife almost 9 to 26 years of age o was doing something bad and now I don't even have any want a or desires my goals which I've never had until now ive had so much growth again I'm sorry it's so long but .so excited Sept 12 2019 2 years clean and I do it for myself and then my family o had to heal my self first before I could worry about other people again Thanks for reading I will have it edited I just got carried away on my thoughts and .proud of myself My prayers go out to everyone who lost their lives on September 11

[@davidmathes6730]

This Christina Randall looks like trouble?! Hahaha kidding she's got me hooked up on her high profile killer story overviews! They are really kick ass, she takes her time knowing the case, I know because most of those cases, I know in detail and she save you from watching hours of boring bs.

[@dmzc]

@@humanityinterrupted7746 great, congrats my friend ❤

[@radiantbritt]

I’ll miss Randy over the next year, I hope he gets out of NY next summer when he gets out of prison. He really needs to get away from your all’s hometown and get a fresh start. I also hope he leans on KZbin and sees what an amazing network of people are rooting for him. ♥️ edit: not saying only youtube is the answer, along with whatever he finds that works on his sober journey. He should be in rehab not prison.

[@litgirlablaze3432]

itsbrittglow he’s there’s for an entire year?! Wow

[@whitneynicole4748]

itsbrittglow So much this! The 3 things stressed in recovery are to change People, places and things & it’s definitely stressed to us for a a reason. Unfortunately, the system doesn’t understand that & they hold you hostage in your old spaces and put restrictions on you to make it that much harder. It’s awful but I believe in randy and know that he can get sober and stay sober given the proper opportunities!

[@radiantbritt]

LitGirlablaZe yeah, sadly.

[@radiantbritt]

Whitney Nicole totally agree, he should go to rehab... not prison. In my own opinion.

[@christadelancy2012]

Where in new York they live? This don't look like the 5 boroughs... yerrrrrrr

[@NurseKileyKountry]

Don’t cry, Girl!! You’re a warrior!! I know the guilt is so real but you’ve made it out and become such an incredible woman!! So proud of you!! Sending prayers, love, good vibes, and all that shit to Randy!! ❤️🙏🏼🌈

[@jennyneedsmeds]

91 days clean from opiates and everything else today guys!!!!

[@katieansell01]

j money congratulations x

[@megansmith1547]

J money, GET IT BABYGIRL!! You are a damn WARRIOR!!! ❤🙌 Make it 91 more days, then make it 91 weeks! And after that?! 91 months! ❤❤❤

[@tina-kl5oq]

j money, congrats!! stay grounded, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SOLID FOUNDATION YOU WILL BEAT THIS!!! Talk to others... you can do it!!!

[@katiemarie2447]

Amazing you got this

[@ablair33556]

Also , it seems like yesterday I had 90 days and guess what I have now ? 5 years ! You got this !!!

[@christinaarandall]

This was a great video 💙

[@JessicaKent]

🖤🖤🖤🖤

[@saltycucumber2773]

Jessica Kent bpa j hearts danm

[@kerilee7882]

Thanks for putting us on to Jess, I'm hooked I go back and forth between your videos all day while my husband is at work it really keeps me from getting depressed. Y'all are both awesome

[@christyfawcett7495]

The bond you still have is interesting to see. After all this time, Randy was still "covering" for you, when he didnt want to admit the physical part of the relationship. Its the good side of him, and I hope he finds his way to recovery. We are rooting for him.

[@JustAnotherJarhead]

it also shows the level of dysfunction that still exist.

[@andreabennerakaandi9256]

Damn. Watching this knowing he relapsed breaks my heart. Randy, you have an amazing support system waiting for you on the outside including all of us! We love you man!!

[@kylacrush6810]

Andrea Benner completely agree it’s absolutely heartbreaking to think of him reliving all these memories but instead of from the front seat of a car with an open landscape, he’s in an orange jumpsuit starring vacantly into cinderblock walls trying to avoid eye contact with other inmates. This video is so poignant knowing he’s institutionalized again 😔

[@NativeNYerChicHK]

Tell Randy we’re still pulling for him, relapse is a part of the process, he might be down but he’s not out. He can get back on that horse and ride to success. He’s just got to focus on the future, not the past. 😉😘

[@michellenikoletta4346]

I'm glad you two can still be so close even after everything.

[@meag_ken822]

70k girl!! Woo hoo!!! & it’s so hard to watch Randy now. Just makes me sad. I support him 150% ❤️

[@redvorchannel]

As Ive seen it said below....I really hope Randy understands that relapse is part of it. Idk an addict who hasnt relapsed. Relapse shows us we cannot do it alone and just how much support and tools we really need. It also shows us how quick relapse happens. It is just part of it.

[@TessMac]

Jessica. That must’ve been INCREDIBLY hard to rewatch now that Randy is back in jail...I’m also certain that was IMMENSELY DIFFICULT TO FILM. You’re so brave. I’m sure you do have mixed emotions...But I pray you ALWAYS REMEMBER that you’re more than your past. You’re out of that darkness. You’ve changed. You’ve grown. You’re a success story. I also FIRMLY BELIEVE that Randy is on the same path. We all mess up sometimes. But I truly feel he in the next decade will be living a sober & peaceful life as well. God can change ANYONE. AT ANY TIME. PERIOD. 🖤💜🖤

[@marybelle]

I am getting ready to write Randy right now. The weekend got away from me. I am glad we still got to see this video. I have been thinking about Randy a lot. He is going to make it through this. Love you Jess!

[@litgirlablaze3432]

Marybelle They gave out his jail address? Can you tell me where so I can write too? never mind: found it in the info box!! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@marybelle]

@@litgirlablaze3432 I am glad you found it!

[@hadartalmor9]

You have definitely opened my eyes to see people in a different light. Thank you!

[@lizardx4252]

i really appreciate you sharing these stories, my dad is currently going through addiction and its so hard to be around someone you love and see them struggling. your stories make me realize that im not alone, thank you💓 randy is in my thoughts

[@oliviakate4652]

Lizard x please stay strong 💕

[@jenniferpillarella9960]

he seems like such a genuine guy. It's ok to relapse he can still get sober, I hope he gets sober again. How long is he in jail for Jess?

[@JessicaKent]

A year or so

[@sweetcanada17]

AsHLiegH-MaRie HoPe - how do you know he won’t be on probation when he gets out? I thought felons are always put on probation when they get out.

[@JessicaKent]

@@sweetcanada17 He is maxing out. No parole

[@sweetcanada17]

Jessica Kent - ah ok. Gotcha. Thank you for the clarification. 😊 My husband and I are keeping him in our thoughts and hope for all the best for him.

[@kaseyjuhl3070]

i hope that maxing out ends up being good for him, from the last video, it sounds like the probation was the most stressful part for him in staying sober. I know he can do it. Tell him his fans say to stay strong.

[@catherinekeogh4749]

Randy has my whole heart with him, recovery is one step back two steps forward! I’ve heard you say before that you relapsed 4 or 5 times, each time he gets clean is the possibility for it being the last time he ever has to detox. I have faith in him, please let him know your subscribers support him if you write him a letter (which I know you still love snail mail)!

[@jennyneedsmeds]

"when you're an addict, you slowly start to break your own rules" "scraping change for a bundle." damn. i remember these days so clearly.

[@mollyjones2599]

I love hearing your guys stories, my boyfriend and I which is the father of my two little girls have just about the same story and we are almost 4 years sober. Heroin truely is the devil and has taken so many lives of people I know and almost took mine as well, so grateful you took the right path and are sitting here today to tell us that it is possible. So proud of you girl. Your my inspiration to keep going everyday ❤️

[@thegreatestshowonearth7623]

It may sound weird but sometimes hearing old war stories are entertaining and enlightening because hearing different stories about Drug dealing and cops because there's someone has had the same experience some people would see it as glorying but I see it as life lessons on what not to do so keep putting out the positive videos

[@irishdragon2311]

Yep I totally agree with you I feel the same.

[@raylae8721]

Not weird at all

[@chipmatze7439]

listen to dopey podcast!

[@humanityinterrupted7746]

Thank you Jessica for the upload I appciate it alot Sept 12 2019 is my 2 years clean from heroin and spice the last time I used was Sept 11 2017 at night time that's the last time i used no relapses this time I did it correctly this time it took a few try I'm 28 now and I'm happy about it because it's not forced clean time this was on the streets by myself clean time I watched 1000s of KZbin videos if it wasn't for people like you coming here on KZbin talking I don't know where my mind would of been I found your channel not to long ago but the channels you all have and the stories told is what kept me sane in my darkest hour taking it one hour at a time one day at a time I don't freak anymore about it I don't crave it think about it nor want it and I'm finely starting to feel happy.amd I did it for myself

[@danielleflandrick6073]

It takes a lot of strength to be so honest and truthful about your past.. it’s so inspiring and I hope you keep pushing!! With time talking about it won’t hurt so much 💛

[@LittleDeadGirl19]

I know Randy can get sober, he has it in him 🖤 It's hard as hell, but it's worth it in the end. I support and believe in Randy 100% 🖤

[@calianne5352]

Man I see such a good guy in Randy. Addiction is cunnining baffling POWERFUL. He has such a good spirit. Man I pray for him🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@lockandloadlikehell]

Opiates: 6 weeks and you're done I wouldn't exactly call it "baffling"

[@calianne5352]

@@lockandloadlikehell The disease of addiction is" BAFFLING". Your not in Recovery or you would know,In the Big Book it says, "Addiction is cunning Baffling and powerful.". #9yearsclean

[@alleywatson7404]

Ok, I’ve said before I’ve got just shy of a year clean but lately I’ve REALLY been thinking of using. Just seems life isn’t better than it was before so why not? Ya know? But hearing y’all did 15,000$ in two weeks!! If you were able to come out of an addiction THAT severe there is NO reason that I can’t stay clean as well. Those words you just said, HONESTLY just changed my mind about getting high. I’ve been here since 6,000 subs girl and I’m truly thankful for you speaking your truth!! 🥰

[@katereid8992]

Alley Watson YOU CAN DO IT Please don’t relapse because we are all here for you. Make it to that year mark

[@MaccyMoose]

Not relevant to this video but wanted to say here so you might see. I was just watching your video about your childhood where you said you have ASPD, and I just wanted to say that I’ve been diagnosed with ASPD myself and have dealt with people around me assuming I’m a horrible person who doesn’t care about anyone because of the diagnosis alone. Thank you for telling us that because it means a lot to see that someone as great as you has it. Makes me feel less like it inherently makes you awful ♥️♥️♥️

[@meganeff]

Caitlin Macdonald there are SO many misconceptions about ASPD. Everyone likes to villainize it and throw around the word “sociopath” which makes me so angry.

[@amypearsall]

Which video was that?

[@MaccyMoose]

Amy Pearsall search “Jessica Kent childhood” on KZbin it’ll be the first one that comes up. She only mentions it briefly, she doesn’t go in to much detail

[@MaccyMoose]

Amy Pearsall she mentions it around the 5:30 mark

[@brittaolson6550]

meganeff Agreed. I want to puke 🤢 when people start talking about “narcissists” online. Everyone and their mother thinks their ex is a narcissist, and most don’t know what it means. There are degrees to everything, and so many different diagnoses that certain behaviors could mean, or they might be within the range of normal. I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, and people have so many misconceptions about it. People think that it means sometimes you’re a bitch and other times you might be nice, but you’re unpredictably a bitch. When really bipolar disorder is mostly a disorder of being hopeful (even exuberant) and energetic during manic phases, and during that time you may over commit or make poor judgments and, at other times, feeling low and depleted. It is not a conduct disorder or abusive personality. The other thing people do is they assume that if you have a mental illness, you always act like a person with untreated mental illness. I have been treated with lithium for Bipolar, consistently, since 2015, when I first got serious about recovery and, unless you knew me before, you would never guess that I had it. People need to realize that there is treatment for mental illness, and those who receive it are often successful and stable. That’s why it is so awesome when people with diagnosed mental illness or disorders, like Jess, are out there showing they are doing it! Personally, I believe criminals are over-diagnosed with ASPD, because some of the criteria don’t take into account a person’s environment, and that a person’s moral orientation is relative. But if Jess believes that’s something she has and speaks about it then I’m going with what she said. We are the experts in our own experience. I’m very excited about things like what Jess is doing, what Ricky Ross is doing. It’s definitely empowering people. We need to challenge the stigma around mental illness and perceived deviance.

[@sherivaughn23]

I wish that there was a sad emoji instead of just a like and dislike. I always feel bad hitting the like button like, I feel as if I’m saying that I liked their pain when all I want to do is hug both of them. This video got me all in the sad feels. I’m so happy that this was a past life for you and that you came out such a better person Jess. Randy will get there too. He’s already a better person than he once was. He has the hardest part left which is kicking the addiction but he’ll do it. We’re all rooting for him.

[@cameronchoate9803]

Good morning Jess!! I’m a senior in high school and I love watching your videos as I get ready, your such a inspiration! Love you and your videos!

[@sydney6615]

Me: Bacon soda? What a weird thing to stop for. Me 2 sec later: OH! Baking soda, yeah that makes way more sense.

[@aliciasnavely5109]

Sydney wow......😐

[@jannasmith3275]

I just read your comment as he was saying it and thought the same thing. Lol

[@faithsmith8875]

Haha I heard "Bacon soda" too and then I realized he was saying "bakin' soda" lol

[@zoebeard3859]

I literally thought the exact same thing

[@kaykeescorner]

Lmao

[@lostxboyzproductionz8719]

This video is so hard to see knowing that Randy relapsed and is back in jail, possibly going to prison! It breaks my heart for you! Love you gurl!

[@jennaj6821]

..I've been sitting here shaking my head in agreement, sitting here ALL alone, saying YUP .. both of you giving me chills...still struggling...But, better than before..but..you already...

[@waynemelsome7649]

I found u today on you tube .u are an inspiration I was an addict for 17 years but Iv been clean for the last 4 years 10 monthes wother an amazing honest lady u are xxx. At this moment in time I'm suffering from major depression and anxiety I'm a hermit an now disabled I'v done nothing but watch your channel since I'v found u wot a strong honest lady u are xxx your video are helping me so much wen I'm on the verge of relapsing on h cus I know it will kill me but watching an listening to you . . Is helping me I dnt class myself as weak but I'm starting to .I'm gonna carry on keep watching your video an taking in your advice and lifest experience THANKYOU JESS BIG LOVE FROM ENGLAND.... THANKYOU XXX

[@hollylynne5053]

It's been years that I have been clean but i cry alot lol I think because being high for so long your emotions get blocked and now that I'm off my emotions are everywhere. I see that alot when I look at you 🤗 I'm so glad the two of you can be drug free and make videos and talk, I lost alot of people in that world so watching you guys puts a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing your story 🤗🤗🤗

[@joshuanicely8722]

I've been a high functioning addict for many, many years. Watching your videos is helping me to a certain extent and I'm so glad that I have found your channel. I doubt that you'll see this message as this video was posted over a year ago but I don't really need you to see it, I just want to talk. I'm do miserable and I crave sobriety. Tomorrow is Christmas and because of my addiction I'll be spending it alone... again. I sure do wish that getting clean was as easy as snapping your fingers....I wish for a lot of things. ....

[@kaseyjuhl3070]

im on a Jess binge. i found her on youtube recently and i love every video. my father was addicted to "go fast" and it helps me to understand his choices. i wont ever speak to him again because of the abuse my family suffered when he was an addict, but these stories still help me to understand. it means so much to me that she makes these videos.

[@LimuEmu420]

Go fast is another name for Meth

[@angelagalant4029]

Seriously eye opening video!! Praying for Randy!!

[@333Erin]

I just can't imagine talking so intensely and In detail of past using stories so fresh into recovery. That was one of my first thoughts in seeing the first videos with Randy was that I don't know how personally he was so comfortable with talking about everything so fresh out of prison and clean. & unfortunately I could see in his face it made him think about that life and using. He put it all out there to everybody which put him back into that mindset for that moment. He needs some serious time alone to just focus on himself and his future alone and not all his using stories and hopefully he will see sobriety is the life he wants. He was not 7+yrs sober and in such a good space like you are yet. Obviously he was 100% there for sharing these past stories so fresh out of prison and clean but maybe next time he gets out, give him some time to just focus on his future before public or privately having conversations regarding the past regardless of how ready he may seem for that. He just was not ready for that and I'm not saying that against these story times personally because you cant blame anyone for your addiction except myself in the future maybe just give him space in the sense of visiting the past fresh into sobriety. May be an unpopular opinion to your fans and I am personally a fan myself but I'm also personally a 3 year recovering addict/6 year addict(in fsm AR too) as well but I had to put that out there. I hope the best for Randy and hope this time is THE time that he never looks back and I hope at the end of it you are one of those friends by his side In his future.

[@adriannawatts3605]

Damn Jess, you have been through some shit. I just wanna give you a hug. You’re so strong. I am so happy you have came so far. I hope one day randy can live a happy, drug free life just like you ❤️

[@jaimeotterson1642]

"So much loyalty to people who dont give a shit about me" i know dats right. Thank u Jess

[@diamondsngunns88]

Jaime Otterson 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@amberwkly3747]

Plz keep us updated on Randy. :( so sad but wishing him the best. Have a good week Jess!!!!!❤

[@alishag430]

Great video. I can't even imagine how hard this was to hear, film, edit and then post. I am not sure I could've posted it but the fact that you did is a big reason I have so much admiration and respect for you. You are willing to go through the uncomfortable topics if it helps an addict. Keep doing what your doing because I really believe you are changing people's lives.

[@candicemiller9498]

Dammmnnnnn that was a hard one. I haven’t cried like that in while. Jess and Randy you’re so brave/strong to share your stories and to hear one another’s perspective of it all. Randy is such a good guy. I hope this next year flies by. Jess you’re my fave KZbinr by far. Thank you for keeping it real AF. 99% of your stories remind me of a moment in my own life which can be damn difficult at times but also very much so needed. I wish you both tons of happiness, success, love and sobriety.'

[@catzska]

He may have killed you that very night if you did not walk into get that Gatorade and we're on Camera. So thank God you did that. I am so glad you are both still here to share your incredible stories and thank you for being brave enough to share them. I am so proud of both of you as well as everybody that has been able to change their lives around. To all that are still struggling. You are worth the fight to get clean and away from drugs and this life. You can do it. Jess, Randy and so many others are proof of this. Much love, support and again thank you. You brought tears to my eyes. You both have truly educated me. I am going through it right now with a 25 year old that o have mentored since she was 412/ years old. She finally went to rehab and is nearly 2 weeks in to date. I actually sent her numerous videos of you and shortly after she went in to rehab. I truly believe you helped her. You may never know how much you all mean to me and I believe you saved Ashlyn's life. From my heart and soul. Thank you.💕💜💕

[@Rtytanicj]

I want randy to know that there are bumps along the way, and he can still pick himself up and dust himself off and continue to be sober! I’m here for him!! Writing his and Jason’s letter today!! Love you jes!!!! 💜💙💜💙

[@JessicaKent]

Thank you all for your kind words and support!!! We just hit 70k!!! 😭🙏🖤 Love you guys!!! For everyone asking about writing randy...his info is in the description box. Please just send plain white paper/ blue or black ink. He can also receive books (from Amazon) but that is all. 🖤 Have a great day!!!

[@haleymullis8529]

Jessica Kent I’m so proud of you and your success💞 Been here since 30k!

[@emilyinspace2255]

Do you have to order it from amazon straight to the jail? Thats how we had to do it here and I thought thats what you meant but maybe some people who havent been in jail or prison might not know.

[@laceyhall6693]

Jessica Kent You said plain white paper. So, just like printer paper? Not lined notebook paper? Just want to make sure. My husband is 6 months home from an Alabama prison and I know every state and facility is different so I just want to double check I have it right.

[@JessicaKent]

@@emilyinspace2255 yes

[@JessicaKent]

@@laceyhall6693 notebook paper is fine

[@unpopularonion5685]

I don’t get why they keep putting an Addict in jail more than once it’s not working they should have rehab jails that can help the situation better

[@JustAnotherJarhead]

jails/prisons are not about "helping" anyone, just about getting the criminal out of society's eyes.

[@schwimshady]

aw, Randy is trying to down play how negative of a partner you used to be because he knows who you are now.

[@brittaolson6550]

Maddie Schwimmer Not necessarily...she might be playing it up because of guilt. That’s how I used to look back on me and my man’s relationship when we were using. I felt so much guilt I didn’t even see how grimy I wasn’t & how much I had really done for him. Which, a lot of the financial stuff was enabling, or something, because I was using too. But I look back now & realize how much I really held him up.

[@EvolveProgress]

@@brittaolson6550 I dunno......how many times did he say "you held everything" , "free drugs" and "that was my only role"?

[@missbrooke9458]

I watched this twice. Once for the general information at another time just to soak it all in. My heart genuinely hurts for Randy. Jess you’re change is so inspiring and unfortunately rare. As long as you’re still out here I’ll be here rooting for you and supporting you. Please let us know if There is anything we could do to help Randy. Praying for him and for you and for anyone else who is brave enough to make the changes you have.

[@nataliesmith7455]

Randy’s voice is so soft and heart warming xxx

[@Chronically_Kimberly]

Jess, this was such a great video. Randy seems like a good dude. I hate that he relapsed but I think I remember you saying once he get out of jail in a year or so that he won't be on paper. So, regarding his relapse.... I've always heard that when life is dragging you backwards that means it's getting ready to let go and propell(sp?) you further than you thought possible. I do hope this is the case for him. New and Healthy People, Places, and Things. 💕. Let him know that so many people are still routing for him and have faith that he can still live a happy sober life. 💕

[@kelliehayes9242]

When you guys started talking about Christmas 2010, it was bringing so many bad memories back to me. My sister is still in active addiction with meth and heroin. Holidays, birthdays any family gathering that she comes too is so hard for me. it has been almost 3 years since I removed her children from her home after walking in to see all her heroin on the coffee table where my 4 and 2 year old niece and nephew had free range to the house. This happened about 3-4 weeks before Christmas 2017 and she brought some random guy with her and they were passed out on the couch almost the entire time! If they were not nodding off on the couch they were in the bathroom for hours. after they would come out, an adult would have to go in first to clean up the bloody tissues that were laying on top of the garbage can. Every holiday since then has been the exact same. She brings her random guys and drugs, needles, pipes, all this shit into my parents house, not even trying to hide it most of the time.. it is hard or me to accept her as an addict. I am watching your videos in the hopes of better understanding her side. She has had numerous times in her life where she has done different drugs but she would go to rehab, stay sober for a while and then eventually relapse. We were always able to work through it and this last time in 2017 has by far been the absolute worst! Not only is she homeless but she is so deep in her addiction I honestly don't know if she will make it out this time. I haven't not spoken more than a simple sentence to her in almost 3 years. It is weighing heavily on me as she was my best friend and is my only sister. She is missing out on her children's life as well as her nieces life (my daughters.) I just hope and pray that one day she will wake up and WANT TO CHANGE! We all want it for her, but until she wants it, there is no hope.

[@ashleygonzalez5886]

Thank you for sharing this video Jess. My heart breaks for Randy. He has so much potential and he’s such a good person (you can tell just from his videos). I pray and hope that once he’s released, he finds somewhere to go outside of his hometown. I KNOW he can stay clean and sober and I know it will come for him. Please let him know all the support he has and to let the guilt of disappointing anyone go. I’ve been in recovery for 3 years now. I was in rehab for 3 months back in 2016. It wasn’t until last year that I started allowing myself to forgive myself for disappointing so many people including myself. It’s a whole other level of recovery when we can forgive ourselves. I hope he can learn to do the same ♥️🙏🥰

[@Nik.No.K]

I respect you for doing stuff like this. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to have to relive these experiences. I am personally haunted by memories from my past on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. The people I hurt, relationships I screwed up, opportunities I wasted it... It's like a mild form of PTSD, constantly being hit with memories from years ago that you hate to think about

[@jennharper872]

Hes really good at telling the honest truth.Jess I really hope he gets clean.He seems like a good guy that got into really bad stuff. 💜🌹🌹

[@paytonjones2850]

I’m really praying for randy to get better😔♥️ I’m praying for his come up, his success. I pray to God randy finds his way and gets his life together😔he really is a good person My biological dad was a heavy user the whole time he was in my life (only about seven years) he was also a big drug dealer. I know what using and selling drugs does to people. My dad didn’t want to give up that life style so when I was seven he dipped, never saw him again. 11 years later he started to die so I attempted to get in contact with him. (He told me I wasn’t his child, he completely disowned me but I loved the guy while he was around) he never got clean or out of that life, he died of cancer a few days after I called him.

[@lauren-oi5wh]

We LOVE you Jess. It takes a special person to be so honest and share the past version of yourself that anyone would want to just cover up. But it’s important you do. You’re saving lives, I truly believe that. Thank you for sharing ♥️ and congrats on 70k!!!!

[@piggy_queen0426]

Am I the only one who watches all these videos when the worst thing I’ve ever done was smoke weed once 😂😂

[@Rick_Cleland]

Did you not inhale like Bill Clinton?

[@Lobiisz]

Becca Reigh mee lol

[@user-vz2sy7tx3w]

good keep it that way u wont regret it in the end..

[@horrorfan4-life689]

Keep it like that. Better to read than relate. Take it from my experience. Be glad that's the worst you've done.

[@brittanypaquette]

Keep it that way! It's not a good lifestyle by any means, I honestly hate that I can relate to this video

[@kristianelkins]

Thank you for sharing bc it takes a lot of courage! Me and my ex were addicted to opiates and what broke my heart is that we got together before we ever did drugs and had loved each other beyond belief that we considered each other soulmates lol. Well that's bedore drugs came in the picture, and then we were two completely different people with an entirely different relationship. We went through the same sickness, frustrations, and arguments as most addict couples. It wasnt until we finally broke up for good that we both could stop bc like you had mentioned, we were codependent and enabling each other when we were together. Bc our love was so strong in the beginning, we thought we could get through our drug addiction but boy we were wrong. He could drop drugs for me but I couldnt and I don't know if that's due to my addictive personality but once my focus is on something or someone I love, it becomes my obsession. When drugs were introduced to me 2 years after we had been together, I no longer was obsessed with him but obsessed with my opiates. In fact I hated him now and he couldnt understand that my love for drugs was stronger than my love was for him, and why I couldnt drop them so we could live happily ever after. I tried but we had our personal problems and I was emotionally drained so drugs were my bandaid the problems we had that I couldn't handle. The lifestyle and all the messed up things I did to him and he did to me was beyond repair. Drugs made me not care about anything including him while he still cared about me. I purposely tried to run him off bc I felt undeserving but while I hoped he wouldn't he come back, he always did and even I couldn't understand why I didnt feel the way he felt. We believed that if we both got clean then our relationship would return to normal but deep down I knew and so did he that we were both in denial about this working out after the horrible things that we been through. Many times we broke up and we always did better when we were apart but me and him both kept hanging on to the memories of us before we both became addicts. It's strange how drugs can turn your relationship into a completely new one with two different people I finally decided to break up for good with him, even tho he still believed we could make it work (7 years later) after many failed attempts. I went to rehab, jail, and got into more horrible crap that should've made me stay clean but I was shameless and now I am ashamed . For so long I believed that that was just who I was going to be and that's who I was as a person and will always be. However, being off drugs now I realize that that isnt me and I am more calmer as you were saying in your video about how you are not as aggressive. And things that I was doing, I wouldn't even think about doing now which is crazy to think how much addiction affects you and changes you. Now sober I have two vehicles when I had no cars and a great job while he has been clean too and is now going to school and enjoying the coast. It's been 3 years and of course I have relapsed due to bad choices of hanging around bad crowds but with the help of my family as well as living with them, I have not used in 6 months. He was hurt and kept using for a year and a half or so and was homeless, but after a close mutual friend of ours that we had lived with, and that he was living with died he got clean. Sorry this was long but watching this took me back and sometimes thinking about the good times I had and while I do miss it, the bad times outweighs that so much more. It's also so much easier to stay sober once you get over the sickness, distance yourself, make no contact with people still in the lifestyle until you know that you can handle your urges, and keep busy. Boredom can be very triggering so keeping busy will keep your mind busy too. Thank you for your video!

[@jer5211]

I appreciate these videos so much. I’ve been through many similar situations throughout my addiction, and even tho I’ve been clean for 3 years, I still push down a lot of memories/emotions from and revolving around my past. I know I need work through things to allow myself to grow as a person, but it’s incredibly difficult for me, especially the family dynamics stuff. There’s so much built up from my childhood until now. It’s extremely overwhelming and deff takes a toll on the daily. Your vids are very therapeutic in the process of going through my own personal stories and emotions, so thank you and much love Jess! ✨💕

[@kaitlynkkkkk]

So happy you posted this!! I have work in 2 hours, don't want to go, but you just made my morning. Love YOUUUU ❤️

[@RoseMatthews90]

Jess plllleeeeeaaase start doing these as podcasts too! Xx

[@qBeYcarpet]

He seems like such a humble and good guy. Hope he recovers

[@Willowgrey999]

Man, this made me cry. I feel like I'm listening to my own recovery story. You both are strong for filming this. Keeping it 100 percent real. 7 months clean right now. And I needed to be reminded of how I was on H and M3th. Thank you 💖

[@RP_76]

When he said You couldn't see you were destroying youself😩 I hope Randy gets back to where he needs to be and this time is the beginning of forever for him❤💕

[@RP_76]

Girl the guilt I have for things I did to my parents.... I get it 💕

[@shanira99]

70.000 subscribers!!! Congratulations I love your channel

[@jgirlbyootymua1097]

Congratulations Jess on 71.2k girl! Watching this video wearing similar pattern of your blouse. I hope Randy knows it’s ok to fall n get back up n try again. I’m rooting for him n I have confidence that one day he’ll be back with us telling his how many years he’s sober... The love you n Reece have for him, that’s all he needs if he doesn’t have no one else! 🥰

[@OooO-yx9sb]

You need more subscribers girl. You’re an amazing person ❤️❤️

[@jsmfibs708]

Breaks my heart to see Jess upset 😩 we are so proud of you too Jess!!!!!! I hope I have even half of the strength you have in life. ♥️♥️♥️

[@dsue3508]

I respect you guys so much for being so transparent and real. I absolutely love these videos.

[@laurac86]

You and Randy’s story is soo similar to me and my ex. What a crazy life we lived!!!!

[@jordanrider3714]

I really love how close you both are after everything. Thank you for your transparency with us always!!

[@CyberDocUSA]

You've come a long way, sister. I hope that spending time with each other has been a cathartic experience for you both. Dying as a strung out junkie is no way to go. ☮️

[@Shooting.For.The.Stars1]

71,000 subscribers. I hope this helps you see just how much we can all relate to you, and how much we support you and love your advice and input. Thank you lord for Jessica. It’s heart warming to know there’s good hearted woman out there like you and Christina.

[@sarahbrown5279]

Thank you so much for all your honesty and the ability to share it with us. You have helped me with my sobriety more than i can express.

[@macirenee2916]

‼️VIDEO IDEA‼️ Please do a MUKBANG of food you missed/ craved while in prison! I had this idea come to home when you were in Christiana! You should do it with Reese and just answer questions or talk about talks life together!

[@sophiaxo4353]

Maci Renee this is a good idea!!

[@PlanningWheNeva]

Relapse isn’t an end. I pray that Randy gets out and is able to change his people, places and things. I’m sending all my love to him and I’m going to miss him over this next year❤️🖤

[@Rebelgirl-kv6bd]

Omg this is some scary stuff!! I'm so glad that you saved yourself and you got sober, I'm so very proud of you Jess!!

[@chelseybarnes4066]

Jess, you are such a strong woman! Do not feel guilty for your past. You have come so far and made a great life for yourself. Randy has so much support from all of us. I believe in my heart that he will beat addiction. ❤️

[@ellexarden]

my heart hurts for him and his current situation, i’m sending him my best thoughts and prayers 💗 it can be a very long road, i hope he eventually gets where he needs to be. he has a good heart and these times won’t last forever. send him our love jess. 💕

[@laurenann9330]

You two are so strong. I’m so proud of you Jess and Randy. Sending extra prayers to Randy lately ❤️

[@Rebelgirl-kv6bd]

Randy reminds me alot of my ex, except I can see the want in Randy's eyes to get & stay clean!! We all have your back Randy!!

[@TaylerLeonard]

I really really like Randy and I seen someone say I hope Randy knows it’s ok to relapse, it’s not over. I so hope the best for him, he can do this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@kristinamittelbach1908]

Life in active addiction is stressful and caotic! I really dont miss it. I have several scary stories myself. Many of them I have repressed because they are so messed up.

[@Kelly-jn4cp]

You are so brave. It's this kind of raw honesty that will keep you sober. A healthy fear of ever going back helps fuel my sobriety everyday. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself and don't let youtube and everything that comes with it take you down the wrong path. 💜💜💜 I wish you another 24 xoxo

[@AG-kr1my]

Randy seems like such a genuine person and truly has given me a bigger heart for those who struggle with addiction. Thanks for sharing and opening my heart and eyes to these kinds of struggles 💛

[@amyhatfield3717]

thank you for sharing jess i know its hard for ya .. hope hes not in jail long he dont need to be in that horrible place he needs prayers hope , love , rehab much love always 💙

[@megansmith1547]

How selfish of me is it, to say this is therapeutic for me... no one understands why I watch given the fact that my bestfriend was taken out of this world before his life even began at the hands of dope.. I never got to say my amends with HIS dealer not giving a damn about his next day of life; and only cared about profits.. now I get the chance to see the dealers point of view.. the dealers pain and regrets. I want to send a book to Randy and one to you as well Jess.. I thank you again for your response on Instagram weeks ago the night you asked me how i found it relaxing to watch your videos. You saved me that night from making an extraordinarily awful mistake and having a Terrible lapse of judgment. Keep shining as a beacon of hope to so many.

[@CHACHA-nb7xi]

Wow Jess thank you for allowing Randy to share his experience with it all.. I Know How hard that was for you to hear but It’s in the Past... You are Not there anymore. Look at what all of those experiences from your past has Made You Become The Wonderful Person That You ARE TODAY! God Bless you for all that you do TODAY! 💪🏼♥️

[@angelajohnston7332]

You are amazing Jess you have come so far, just pray that Randy will get to where you're at some day soon

[@lilianachavez9568]

Jes’s emotion really reached me. As far as Randy goes - it’s not over bro. You still breathing which means there is still hope!

[@amandahatfield5763]

All my support is going to Randy! It’s not if he gets sober it’s when he gets sober! Love your channel❤️

[@ambersherman4717]

Randy you can do this! I understand what you are going through. We are here for you and support you 100%.... don’t stop fighting for your sobriety.

[@shallanpendleton3896]

Thank you both for being so open. I could see the hurt in your eyes and how deeply it really hurts and to be so honest and try and help people take a look at their life and possibly prevent someone from making the wrong decision. Rather you think you are helping or not you are most definitely. My uncle unfortunately didn’t have good ending he was killed over drugs. I wish just maybe he could have seen that their is hope and it is possible or a better life. Thanks Jess for making these videos and sharing the deepest parts of you I really appreciate it.

[@ashleybamagirl5767]

Lord knows I understand a lot of your story. You are an amazing woman. I am so proud of you.

[@jasonthegreat5215]

Man this is real shit...going back in time and talking real. Your heart is strong, and you can tell you are growing.

[@kristinagray8687]

Hi 👋 I’m new here; this comment is unrelated to this video but I just watched your interview with Micah and the comments are disabled but with all that being said lol OMG 😍😍 she’s so funny, witty and beautiful! Such a great personality I see so much of you in her! You did an amazing job as a mom keep it up Jess!! I love your story and everything you stand for💕

[@cassiep2592]

I saw just Reece in the Chicago airport and actually worked up the courage to say hello! (Although I referred to you as his wife 😂).

[@JessicaKent]

Awesome!!!! Except the wife part ewww 😂😂 Kidding!!! Have a great day girl 💙💙

[@jensimpson1140]

Fuck, dude I could be you. Its do weird knowing someone else lived my life, I felt like I was the only person in the world. Now I'm clean, and happy. And it seems like a lifetime ago. I'm 31 and I feel like I've lived 100 lives.