DATING IN YOUR 30's IS TERRIBLE.

[@owatagusiam44]

For the trauma dumping type if u are uncomfortable: “I’m sorry to hear this happened to you and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough with me to share, but as we are just getting to know each other, I’d be more comfortable sticking to lighter topics.”

[@mysteryabsol8703]

I feel like we should put this on merch, word for word.

[@daniellecarlson131]

Oh my god I’m using this lol

[@eviec2749]

Can i add: "I wish I had the tools in my skillset to help but I don't and if i did I'd have to charge you per hr." 😂

[@sarc102]

Screenshot & Saving, Thank you for this!

[@sjb4280]

Beautifully said, perfect response 🙌

[@carival]

Flailing around in your car in the Walmart parking lot is definitely a vibe. 🤝

[@kathleencousins8229]

As someone now in their 50s …Please hear me when I tell you that you are so much more self actualized and real than many people dare to be, especially at your age. Nothing wrong with being your own best company, but please don’t be hard on yourself. You deserve to honor how you feel and find somebody who wants to treat you well… consistently.🤗💕

[@leahsinnette2524]

I agree 100% with kathleen

[@AWJ-zf8cf]

Right?!!! So true. From another person in her 50s

[@nansavm]

That's right. I would just add, be patient, bc that person is out there. You just enjoy yourself until they get to you.

[@emceeb2485]

Another 50+ yo woman who is agreeing with this comment 🙂

[@KnicksNYanks84]

i agree too, relationships are overrated

[@marissapalmer5866]

Tim is literally the married man he was referring too and that’s why he was more comfortable flirting as friends and the second it got to dating he felt guilty. He is a man on the way to divorce with his wife. Bye Tim I hope your wife finds out!!

[@sararuiz1411]

Wow, I did not even think about it that way. So glad I read your comment.

[@bvivid1975]

This is exactly what I was thinking !

[@David-uc4hc]

Eh, that's not necessarily true. Tim could also be the 30 something who still has significant abandonment issues and commitment issues so when he hears stories from married friends about how miserable it is, it sticks with him and scares him. So he emotionally shuts down the possibility of love in order to avoid a similar fate. Thats just one read. There's a million things Tim could be.

[@ddowner77]

100% agreed- he is married

[@kyliebisram7346]

Most truthful thing I’ve ever connected with and most hurtful at the same time “I only feel really lonely when I’m with other ppl, and they start to illustrate just how much we don’t connect”. As a introvert who over loves and gets used as a punching bag for ppls emotional distress, then “left” alone. I feel this deep down in my broken heart. You’re not alone and it will be ok one day. Nothing stays the same forever.

[@MichelleBunt]

What is "off" about you is you're authentic, you communicate honestly and give/want clarity. And most people can't do this and don't want to do this hence your dating experiences. It freaks people out cos they aren't willing to go there. But don't change that about yourself cos that's awesome! P.S. It sounds like "Tim" wanted someone willing to dance around in this unclear friend/more than friends place. That indicates to me that he wanted to get you into a friends with benefits situation.

[@martarosener7779]

My thoughts exactly!! I am the same as you Bea, and at 59, I just don’t see myself finding a life partner. Guys my age want girls your age. I am me and will not compromise. So I am working on making myself happy!

[@Poloquack]

I never found a friend from a dating app even when that’s all I was looking for. I don’t think men go there to add to their friends list

[@josecarlosxyz]

she's overweight obese doesnt fit in any top notch guy dreams

[@ismt9390]

I think we shouldn't rush to answer her questions, because seeing someone online and meeting them in person and interacting with them in real life are 2 very different things. Imo, this is something that only someone who knows her in both ways and doesn't know her for a very long time can answer. It's the same with online dating, some people give very different vibes through texting and in real life.

[@alezandradavila2581]

Yea I just stick to myself…

[@onlyalesx5901]

i am screaming!!!!! paid for his drinks and provided free therapy! gawd you're such a breath of fresh air mujer!

[@kishahelena5312]

As someone that's over 40 and was dating and trying to find the right person in my 30's. It's not just you, finding a connection is just harder as you get older. Not just with dating, with making friends. All of the friendships I have made over 30, have been super hard to start and really felt like how dating feels. The awkwardness, the hoping they say, yes. The confusion when it doesn't work out. Making connections with people is just harder as you get older. I think part of the reason is because people are still trying to find themselves over 30, it's a lie, most people don't know themselves or what they want just because you are over a certain age. If you are confused about who you are as a person how are you to make a connection with someone else and be real? Also, without school and being forced to interact, adults outside of work and some not even with work, will not interact with others. There is no sitting at lunch table and talking when you eat at your desk. So, it's not you, it's people as a whole and most of us don't know what we want, making it hard to connect and stay connected with others. Dating have been very hard for me, miss connections, people not being honest, it not feeling right, no attraction, they not being attracted to me, people saying one thing and doing another. I came to realize that it's just another big lie we are taught that by certain age we all find love or what have you or at least are supposed to. When in reality some people find their mate in high school, others will marry and then marry again, some people won't marry until they are 60 or even 70. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life and I only met him 3 years ago, I spent most of my 30's single. I tried and tried, I went through depression and all kinds of stuff, I was never bitter, just lonely, but it works out differently for everyone and once I realize that life got a little better. There is always a way through, the time will just vary from person to person.

[@ElizabethFryAuthorEAFry]

Wow. What an absolutely fantastic share.

[@LindaC616]

Yes to all of this. Got divorced at 28, moved to a smaller city and state where the dating pool is a puddle, and have given up on the online sites. And as you pointed out, the lack of a shared context makes it hard for people to connect organically

[@heidi5452]

You sound just like me ....how did you find your guy?

[@EmpireYellow1]

Yep, I'm 41, divorced at 26 and a single mom and no relationship has worked out. It's pretty disappointing. I thought I would have remarried by now, but to be transparent...none of the men found me to be marriage material & I feel like I am what happens to the various female tropes who age out.

[@SR-no8sr]

I am turning 46 this year and feel like I have aged out. I have been single for 6.5 years now. I was told by a guy I know that it is because I have aged out. Men my age can date 20 yr olds. It is depressing as I still have worth and value.

[@kda_mwb2992]

I highly recommend what I called a “phone date” before meeting in person. If they couldn’t carry on talking on the phone for at least 20 mins, it is NOT worth it to put on makeup, get ready and actually meet them in person 😉 And my husband and I met online 💋

[@sierramoody25]

this is some solid advice! thanks for that idea!

[@reneeo]

I love this - thank you!

[@karlyn6509]

I like this idea, however it is a good rule of thumb to avoid giving out your number in the first place before meeting someone - but doing a 'call' over skype or FB would be good, maybe?

[@scarlettrubyrose]

Agree 100%! I always recommend this too, saves so much time!

[@karlyn6509]

@@BBee13 Hell no. It's not even necessary so why take the risk if you can check for red flags after meeting them at least once.

[@allison493]

As an experienced online dater the one piece of advice I can offer, and this changed the game for me honestly, was to not only go on dates with someone early on (as you are doing) but to also try and get them on the phone at least once. This SAVED me from going out with men I thought I clicked with but quickly realized that who they are in messages/texting is a far cry from their real selves. Alternatively, it led me to some great dates and ultimately helped me find my current partner.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Still doesn’t work because like clockwork you’ll lose interest once the guy pays for the date. Sorry ladies I’m done with it enjoy the shit show let it burn to the ground

[@rhinoskin7550]

Psychology, meditation, and building emotional intelligence was a game changer for me. It makes interacting with people so much more fun on so many levels.

[@leah436]

Was Tim actually the "friend" that hated being married and was glad his wife was leaving? Would explain some things!

[@emilyblack7312]

Yes! I thought exactly this!

[@lauralime]

That's exactly what I thought too. People do that where they say it's "someone they know", just to see how you react, and it's actually them. Bea, this Tim guy has sociopath written all over him. He was probably lying during a lot of your convos so that he can manipulate you into doing what he wants. RUN GIRL, RUN!!!!

[@samanthalotze]

I thought the same...

[@zoemauduit381]

I thought the same too!

[@alphajuliette92]

Tim is definitely the “friend”

[@pamelatheriot1]

Thank God you’re OK with getting worried about you was starting to think that the plumber guy got to you 😂😂😂

[@Curly_Mermaid90]

Me too! 🤣🤣

[@lolita_breeze]

I legit was like, "Is Bea okay?!?" 🤣🤣

[@raeannlaflame]

Literally SAME

[@dana.c]

Same here. Thank goodness Bea posted.

[@francesgreene7455]

Me too

[@go_price5031]

Ms Bea I’m old enough to be your father so here’s some fatherly advice. Don’t settle. You keep being your true self. One day, someday you’ll find what you’re looking for. It will just happen. Enjoy your day.

[@melindaeppard6958]

I am 54 and let me tell you, I was in your shoes. Instead of dating apps, I was constantly set up with guys. I never felt a connection with them and it never lasted more than two dates. I always thought it was me and that there was something totally wrong with me, because I didn't know what I wanted or what I was attracted too. Then one day someone new started at my job, and I just knew. Someone unexpected in my world and we have two kids going off to college and are still married. Be yourself and have fun in your world. You are a very special person who has put tons of smiles on peoples faces. He is out there searching for you!

[@Ray.5446.]

Thank you for your fatherly advice. I appreciate it.

[@TRJ2241987]

That advice is a bit outdated though, because so many of us Millennial males are no longer attracted to the idea of having a woman tied to us and see it as too much of a risk, financially, mentally, whatever. I am 35 years old, have been single for about 5 years, and can no longer imagine the idea of having a woman in my house all day every day, it is no longer desirable the way I craved that vision as a teenager. Millennial men, more of us than ever seen before in past generations, would prefer to be alone. And the ones that are actively trying to date are probably not even the "high value" males of the world, so the ladies that are out there are sifting through a bunch of junk when it comes to modern single males.

[@FA9082]

Lol stop feeding her BS. She is not wife material, her personality is grating and she seems self centered and attention seeking.A man would be settling for her not the other way round

[@Randompotatoes-qs7bm]

@@FA9082 if she’s not for you then good. A lot of other people can relate.

[@nothanks4469]

The stuff you said about being okay with being alone and only feeling lonely when you're around people you don't connect with is damn powerful and so true for me.

[@givipixie]

“Why do people watch your channel? What makes you so special?” Well Kevin, she just sat in a car telling dating stories for 26 minutes and it was hilarious and entertaining as hell. Other youtubers could never.

[@personalshipper]

Exactly!

[@josecarlosxyz]

she speaks to a bunch of single mothers overweight like her, thats it

[@angfirefighter]

I had NO INTENTION of watching this whole video but I did. Never saw her before but I was very entertained.

[@ommiohmy]

Many try but fail!!🤣🤣🤣 Bea is a mood!!!

[@arbanalechordin4710]

When a guy, or a woman starts trauma dumping on the first date. Get the F Out, that's never going to work. I had a lot of women do that to me and of course ghosted afterwards. It's bullsh*t, absolute Beta behaviour, nobody wants that.

[@va1445]

This has me wondering if I am leaving my baggage at the airport making people think it's a bomb. 🤔 This video is freakin hilarious!! I love the rant videos so much.

[@Puglover130]

They do. Especially an unmarked duffel.

[@krhardesty]

Same!

[@Kimdor83]

My husband accidentally left a little carry on in the airport and the bomb squad is called and they almost charged US for it! Thankfully not. Very expensive mistake.

[@ilenekosoff3148]

"Morticia and Gomez Adams- Power Couple!!!" There are literally tears streaming down my face from this- this is why we watch you and LOVE you Bea- you are too funny and too real to do anything but this- please just keep on talking!!!!!

[@elenabobena415]

RIIIIIGHT!?! 🤣🤣🤣

[@melancholyeel]

At 33 I've really never felt more confident that I am more content on my own than I've ever been with a boyfriend. I hate sharing my space, I can't imagine ever living with someone again. I want my home to be my sanctuary, not a place where I have to put up with another person's noise or mess. And to be quite honest I've never ever had a partner who put an equal amount of effort into any aspect of our relationship. People think it's weird that I don't date and so for years I've felt pressured to start trying to meet someone but at this point I don't care if people think it's odd, I've been single for 7 years and it's the happiest I've ever been.

[@autumnh5027]

this how im tryna be

[@CristyEdith]

Goals!

[@rachelgregory888]

I think that's great, I can totally imagine being there myself.

[@VeronicaCostaF]

The most important thing is to be happy in this life

[@bethlovesthings]

*insert good for you meme* but genuine 💖

[@PhoenixRising1310]

Male 33 here, hi 👋 I'm currently doing the same version of your story but dating women in their 30s. It's not just the men that have the issues, there are plenty of women that trauma dump, have unreasonable expectations, and make unwanted advances far too early. The issue is standards, not gender in my opinion.

[@reesf743]

33 Lesbian. Sometimes I compare my experience to my gay guy friends. It feels like they have this judgement free zone where they value each other and all stay tight knit and we do not have that on team lesbian. I feel like the same things that make us childish and awkward makes them cute and the same things that make us ugly and gross and old makes them "Daddy". 👀

[@lillybits9726]

Bea, you are the most insightful person I have ever heard. I think the reason things may not work out in person for you, is that when you meet people, they realize that you really have it together, and they do not.

[@meaton3805]

I so relate to the "I don't feel alone when I'm alone" and "I only feel alone when I'm with other people." You just put words to a feeling I've had for a while but could never articulate. I don't know why our love for ourselves is conditional, but I know that many people feel the same way. Thank you for being you always! You sharing your life helps us remember we're not alone, we're not as weird as we think we are. I think we see parts of ourselves in you, and that's why we all want to be your friend. (You actually remind me of my best friend that I don't get to see very often. Watching you feels the same as spending time with her.)

[@grenierallison]

It’s good to hear from you, Bea. Online dating is tough, hang on there though I eventually met a guy who made it all worth it (32 here) and we are getting married in October. There is hope!

[@lauried61]

Congrats!

[@LindaC616]

Congratulations!🍾⚘️

[@bimbo9091]

congrats @allison I got hitched and had baby with my husand from the tinder app lol

[@jaspymon]

As someone who didn't meet their person until I was 36 and will be getting married at 41, I never thought I'd find someone who got me as well as my partner does. He was worth the wait. April Fools' Day for us! :)

[@Alertse]

@@jaspymon ah so your saying I have 6 months to meet someone noted XD lol

[@Kim-Turcotte]

“Well Tim, I don’t feel like I have to do that, because you’re doing that and I’m doing just as good as you are!” Priceless, Bea, you make me laugh every damn time! Also, I admire your courage to ‘rapid date’, not sure I have it in me to go there.

[@sjb4280]

I did it for one summer. I was exhausted and not even interested in dating anymore by the end lol

[@Haydurpotatur]

Never settle. You’ll find your human. I just got married this weekend for the first time at 43. I waited for the actual one.

[@electricmariposa]

Girl, keep dating… I met the love of my life at 40. I kissed loads of frogs and went on some of the most awkward dates… it’s part of the process. I got more choosy, confident and wise with every bad date… it gets better! Don’t give up!

[@Anto_81]

What about at 42?

[@annnee6818]

​@Anto_81 Yeah, then it's over. The magical line is 41. No one EVEERRRR meets anyone after that😂😂😂 (just in case that was sarcasm, it makes no difference how old you are or how you look, you can find someone who adores you. It's not guaranteed but perfectly possible)

[@itsprincipe]

would you have dated that man in your early 20s or mid?

[@spiritofalaska]

No man of value dates a woman in her 40s men want young and fertile women. Poor man must have very low standards

[@michaelhernandez3220]

​@@itsprincipeNo. And that's completely and logically fine. Men need to have merit and something to offer in regards to potentially building a family unit. It's part of evolutionary biology as well.

[@HappilyCarnivore]

P.S. I stopped dating in my late 30s. I'm 50 now. I don't miss it ... at all!

[@DNA_diverted]

Same ...people are messed up!

[@pattychristie1713]

Yep, same. I try dating from time to time, then realize what a mistake it was, and go about my life. I'm 56. And I love my life!

[@bibliodaph]

Same. The single life is for me

[@susieq1699]

Yep. 57, single, okay with that. 🙂

[@chellybaby]

10 years

[@carabell188]

I'm 37 and have been on a "break" from dating for 5 years. I'm not sure I ever want to enter the cesspool of lampreys that is online dating ever again

[@faithinallthingsw4088]

Same, but I'm 39 and wish I had tried more.

[@BitterPeachh]

@@faithinallthingsw4088 Me too girl

[@Eg-jd9zt]

I just deleted hinge and bumble and I’m 37. Was awful. Met so many guys, many wanted a second date but there were huge deal breakers and it just wasn’t working and I hate guys are going out with a million chicks “at one time”. Had a guy want to go on a third as he’s seeing others still and I was like cya later no thank you. You want to continue with me and others? It gets toxic and disrespectful. Im not going to compete with someone else when you supposedly “couldn’t wait to see me again”. He wasn’t that great SMH

[@11herbsandspices]

"I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. I feel lonely when I'm around other people." OK, wow. Yep. I felt this.

[@seawitch8227]

Dating in your 30's sucks because you are no longer cute and young in your 20's to get away with childish shit, so you gotta grow the fuck up. Then it gets split into two camps, those who grew up and those who refuse to. The End.

[@Ligma_Jonson]

At your age and weight, your dating options will be extremely limited. The cackling, awkward laugh thing doesn’t help either. Many men will not be able to take you seriously. You give off a combination of platonic High school best friend mixed with grandma vibes.

[@amandabenson1793]

I love that there are already 80+ comments and the video hasn’t been up for long of us to actually get through the whole thing 🤣🤣🤣 we missed you last week, Bea!

[@allyson--]

was almost foaming at the mouth for a new video, lol

[@LS-um3zq]

Bea, there's nothing wrong with you but you're a lotta woman. Not physically but intellectually, talent, humor, etc. That's why you have so many followers on your channel, you have a larger than life personality. In my opinion, men want to be the center of attention. Most will have to work really hard to keep up with you. I was like you to a lessor extent and couldn't find someone that didn't bore me. Just keep looking until you don't want to anymore.

[@womanofacertainage5892]

Oh HELL NO, please don't ever pay half a bill again. When you first order, say "I'd like separate checks please" and if the date complains, tell him that's what makes you comfortable and it isn't something you negotiate.

[@amberd6696]

Yes! Separate checks. Bea, read this!

[@jclyntoledo]

I support this X 100

[@peetred]

This has literally never dawned on me. LOL. But I"m doing that from now on.

[@promisedjubileedaniels]

GREAT advice.

[@glowingcrowns1692]

Um she have no choice. 🤣🤣 Women over 25 get one thing free. Lol After 25 y'all are grown and independent. Pay your own way.

[@pinkpeonies2235]

Wow Bea, I've been reading the comments on your video and I must say that you attract the most genuine and sincere people to your channel.

[@arianthee5828]

Listening to you is like listening to an internal monologue. I have ADHD as well and I find that a lot of the things that I have a hard time with (grace, mercy, kindness, acceptance) in myself are things I find easy to find when dealing with others. It stems from being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world. It's so easy to see others function and look at ourselves and be like, "they can do it so why can't I?" It's that way of thinking and self talk that puts us into situations where we are our own worst enemy. It's that, that gives us unrealistic expectations of ourselves, forcing us to hold ourselves to a higher standard than others. However, it's easy to be the person we wish we had for others. We know how it feels to be spoken to like that so, we find ourselves being extra understanding when people do things that aren't ideal. Definitely date yourself for a while. You deserve that and all of the grace you show others. All my love.

[@buzzweebee8685]

I just turned 50. Someone told me dating in your 50s is wading through a sea of men who are looking for a purse or a nurse. I loved dating in my 30s but things have changed in the last 20 years. Back in my day you went to a bar, drank too much and picked up your next boyfriend haha...

[@mirandab5086]

Lol purse or a nurse lol lol

[@louhollar7351]

Ahhh…simpler times. When thank goodness phones didn’t have cameras 🤣.

[@relentlesssloth646]

Currently trying to date in my 50’s. It’s….ummmmm….challenging at best.

[@buzzweebee8685]

@@louhollar7351 oh I know!!! How do the young folk manage these days!!?? My ahem.. 'free spirited..' self would have got a lot of the wrong kind of fame if it had been so

[@buzzweebee8685]

@@relentlesssloth646 there is a youtube channel idea in the making.. :)

[@wh0aheavy]

Bea, I love how confident you are and how much you've been trying to put yourself out there and be your true self. I really admire that. Dating scares the hell outta me. I have a lot of social anxiety, and I know it holds me back sometimes. Keep being yourself. You are wonderful, intelligent, funny, and I hope you find the person who will see and appreciate all that about you. Much love 💜

[@cherylmay595]

This was so funny. Had me laughing throughout. She's good at telling her stories and bringing out the humor. 🤣🤣🤣

[@EMA616yo]

And that’s why she has 350K+ subscribers! Keep keepin it real, Bea!

[@furbyfurbs]

@@EMA616yo and super consistent 100k views each video. She’s our internet bestie.

[@ravendronesolutions]

I’ll just give my two cents as a guy in his 30s who has had many successful and not so successful dates and I’m currently married now. First and foremost manage your expectations. Forget about how you “feel” and take a very honest look in the mirror and ask yourself what the men you want look for in a woman. Hint: your money and independence means little to us. I see lots of women today have incredibly unrealistic expectations and chant about how they won’t “settle” because they deserve the best, yet most aren’t even pleasant to be around and aren’t feminine either. Be very realistic. Second: understand that the reason why most men today aren’t as chivalrous is because for the last several decades men have heard the constant narrative that they aren’t needed and that having old school chivalrous values is “sexist”. As well as the “boss babe” energy which isn’t intimidating at all, it’s just really annoying. So if you want to have the traditional chivalrous man, be a more traditional woman. If you manage to find a man who continues to court you, don’t belittle him or shame him if he has traditional views. Third: this one is going to sting. The older you get the harder it will be. Don’t be fooled by Sex and the City and Cosmopolitan magazine, your best years where you can lock down a man was in your 20s, not your 30s and 40s. By now you are older, set in your ways, and (no offense it is what it is) your looks are not what they used to be in your 20s. Only a small percentage of women (like less than 1%) get better with age. Know what you are willing to compromise in and what is fundamental to your values (not your feelings). The fact that you actually have dates is an advantage. Believe me, even the best looking men have problems on dating apps. The most average woman gets 10x the matches than what the top 10% of men get. I know many reading this will completely disagree but all I have to say but at the end of the day, if one isn’t getting the results they want, it’s usually because of them and not everyone else .

[@jlea2480]

“I only feel alone when I’m with people” I felt that

[@lisaschreiber2893]

if you feel alone with those people, they’re not for you. someone you’re dating or pals with should make you FEEL how incredible you are… you deserve it!

[@ericastivison]

THIS!!!

[@kylee5560]

That last story had me so frustrated on your behalf! I think dating yourself is perfectly wonderful. P.S., you are so genuine and seem like magnificently non-repellant person, some people just suck.

[@akreeger7742]

Seriously! It seemed like he was jerking her around. When she was fine with friends. Jerk move, in my opinion

[@graecynboyd6534]

Not leaving it unattended and making people think it’s a bomb got me 😂😂

[@tigerlilygirl2643]

I felt exactly the same as you when I was dating at 30. It was awful. One day, at 33, I met a guy who lived across the street from a new apartment I just moved into. From the moment we met, I knew he was the one. Since our first date we have spent every day together for the last 16 years and have been married for 14 years. Girl, don't settle. When you meet the right guy, you will know. There is such a thing as true love and I am confident you will find your soulmate soon.

[@louisedaly1048]

Sounds like a beautiful love story😊

[@tigerlilygirl2643]

@@louisedaly1048 thank you!

[@kattiedaugherty4421]

Oh girl!!! Lol I'm 29 and absolutely terrified of dating in today's world. So I'm so glad you are open and honest about all of this lol I feel you 110% 💚

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

You're 29, it's already long over for you anyway, good grief.

[@spiritofalaska]

You wasted your KZbin where you could have got a high value man. Now you're in the recyclin bin with bottom of the barrell dudes with no options 😅😅 . But hey just like every feminist in this comment section is saying. " slay bae, you go queen, you can kids in your 70s, you have all the time bae " no one is coming to save you

[@jackie8680]

Girl, that last guy is probably married. He was more comfortable and having fun with you when you were just "friends" because he doesn't feel burdened by labeling it as a relationship and yet gets the benefits of being in one. Just him telling about "a guy he knew" says it all. Dating really sucks. I'm in my late 30s and have lost interest in it. I'm glad you took the chance to put yourself out there and recognized you need a break from it too. Stay safe, Bea. I hope we all find someone who's right for us someday 😊❤🙏

[@SuperForace]

Omg, I didn't even think of it that way! 😨 I believe you're absolutely right.

[@MaddHeather]

Yep I'm dating in my late 30s to and it sucks and I have come to a point where I am ok being single and have stopped meeting people... if it's meant to be it will be

[@crystalscaturro512]

I was thinking the same thing! B,that man is married.

[@kriscairable]

OMG is he actually “the friend” that can’t wait until his wife to go on vacation?

[@jackie8680]

@@kriscairable most probably. I hope Bea blocks him and never hear from him again. I also feel a narcissistic vibe from him just from Bea's stories

[@lauragalindo3620]

I get it... I lost my husband last year and I decided to start to date... I never wanted to ever have to date this day and age.. a good guy is really hard to come across now...

[@o0Theresa0o]

@arcadio Wrong. They are absolutely hard to come by. Men want bang-maids. The bar is absolutely in hell.

[@bimbo9091]

im sorry to hear that, but hang in there

[@RisaBeesa]

I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry you lost your husband. I hope you’re coping alright, though I can’t imagine it’s easy. Sending a virtual hug. 💚

[@Ephesians5-14]

So sorry for your loss, Laura 🙏🏻

[@Ephesians5-14]

@arcadio and you don't think 80% of average women aren't invisible to men too? Please. All I have to do is put on too much makeup, blow-dry my hair, and show a little cleavage for men to notice me. But when I don't do those things? Not a chance. Most of humanity is being ignored by the remaining majority of humanity, it's not just you, bro.

[@michelemontano3007]

You need to learn to stand up for yourself. WHY would you agree to split that check? You tell the waitress, 'separate checks'. YOU DO NOT AGREE TO SPLIT THE CHECK.

[@Leafpool12345]

If I had to guess, Bea, I think your honesty and commitment to self is what's causing the rift between irl and online relationships. Online, we all want raw and open and healthy communication,but irl, meeting someone who knows how to communicate is challenging. It puts on blast the other person's shortcomings in that area, and makes people look at shit within themselves they've been trying to avoid the hard work on. YOU WILL ATTRACT YOUR PEOPLE who have either already done the work you've done or are committed to doing the work as they learn from you and others. Lots of people wanna live one foot in and one foot out, but it's hardly your job to drag em. I wish you meaningful relationships with like-minded people in the future, platonic, romantic, whatever. But you deserve the best, Bea♡

[@chiquetashields9022]

Gurl. I met my now husband online in 2006. We’ve been married since 2010. If I ever found myself not married again I think I would just have to hang it up. Online dating wasn’t great back then and it seems even worse now. On paper it seems like it should be perfect, but it’s often a train wreck.

[@pinkpeonies2235]

Well said!!

[@mackhartman2133]

Dating is actually the WORST. I feel for ya girl! So glad you’re back! I love your videos, they’re a comfort for me always. So glad you exist in the world! Sending you love and good vibes even though we’ve never met! 😊❤️

[@LauraRodriguez-Peace]

Brilliant and Hysterical. You are so self aware, I love it! These knuckleheads don’t deserve you, Bea. Thanks for your perpetual honesty…it’s so refreshing. 😊

[@ericastivison]

THIS!

[@avril.227]

Don’t Settle! They are average and we deserve amazing!

[@candicelandiss]

Oh… Girl… 💀These dudes are waaaaaay below your vibe. You’ve been doing so much work on yourself that you’re not giving off the “I need you” vibe. When you meet a man who wants to be with you for you and not just to fill their own sense of self worth… ok… Just keep doing you boo!! 🍻 cheers

[@ericastivison]

I was gonna say the same thing! Its your vibration, Bea! They can't meet you at your level. Never settle for less. You deserve someone who can meet you where you're at, and grow together, like you said!

[@sarahirwin2703]

i am just now watching this and i think your idea about applying your expectations for your love life to yourself is a very good idea. lead by example or whatever. when i was going through my last breakup, i took a much longer time than I normally do to recover. I stayed single until I was actually ready to get out there again and I did what you're talking about. i learned how to be alone without being lonely and I got a LOT done in that time! and I discovered how much i enjoy being by myself. i'm fun to hang out with! and you're right, it's less lonely to be alone than it is to be with people you don't connect with. it's easier and more enjoyable too, to be your own company rather than seek the company of people who don't add to your life. tbh i'd rather be single for the rest of my life than continue to settle, and if I hadn't met my currently partner I honestly would probably still be single and totally fine with it :)

[@AnneRas11]

😌 I love your honesty and sharing the struggle. It’s not you they all sound ridiculous. I definitely think working on friendship rather than dating is way to go. Find the situations that brings you together with like minded people and develop friendships. I met my husband at 38 and I had 3 kids had survived a horrific marriage with a psycho husband. I was learning to stand on my own ,attending nursing school when I was invited to a dinner at a friends home. We met at that dinner both of us had thought of canceling that night but we went. We went to dinner alone and then we met every Saturday for a long walk & lunch. It soon developed into a great friendship and true love. 2 yrs later we were married and it’s been 21 yrs married to the person who is truly my best friend. I went on many awful dates. I wrote a list for myself of what I wanted (likes animals,kids,his parents & family) you get the idea. It gave me a way to remind myself what were deal breakers. I was honest with dates if I did not feel it “clicking”. You just keep doing you. The 1st night my husband & I met we connected on a conversation about how we both enjoyed Walt Disney World. It was as simple as that and he checked off every thing on my list plus some. We did not rush our dates were more like friends meeting to walk or go to lunch at 1st. I did not tell him for awhile my address(never told any date). It has remained over the years a very important friendship to both of us.

[@jeannette5709]

40yo - child free gal and lawd have I got stories about the dating scene in 30’s on - “hello darkness my old friend”. Man children everywhere. Or they need thuripy and not a girlfriend. Legit I’m happy being a me and doing my thing. If I trip over a good man great, if not great

[@valerierosso9928]

I find that when meeting new people I am always trying to keep the conversation going. It really hit home when you said they did not ask about you or your life. When did we as a culture stop being interested in others and just want a platform to talk about ourselves? Sad 😞

[@sinemg3523]

I did that in the past too. Now I just stop talking after a couple questions and let the awkward silence linger. I was surprised to see that many people started asking me questions or at least talking about themselves in more detail lol.

[@milvertonmom50]

OMG...TIM. You just described the last 1/2 dozen dating experiences I've had. It's NOT YOU!!! It's them. They are missing out. You're awesome. Have fun on your solo dates. I love that idea.

[@sydneyice]

Dating in your 20s apparently isn't all it's cracked up to be either. Maybe dating is just *HARD* ugh makes me sad

[@cheapskateaquatics7103]

Dating my 20's was way easier. Now everyone in her 30's has 2 kids or looks like hippo. And yet they will skip over dudes who actually have it together

[@twiklight]

This video is the reason why people watch you. You are soooo genuine and entertaining. Just sitting in your car a finding the ridiculousness of life.

[@extahsee8799]

I hit that same dating pool you're going through then stopped for like 3 years and dated no one, and one day I opened up an app, matched with some random guy in a new city, closed the app, freaked out, and said nope! However, I ended up talking with the guy....and now we live together..... 3 years going strong.... The right guy will come when you're ready. Everyone told me that while I was dating and never believed them, but man I'm a believer now.

[@elizabethoconnor1493]

Bestie your makeup look is GORGEOUS the blush on your nose is super cute!!

[@carolinestrong1314]

Online dating is a joke. I was on & off for a few years and for the most part, it’s the same people. Seriously, I logged on several years later and there they were…..same pic, same profile. I think it just ends up being a lifestyle for some. As soon as I delete my profile, got comfortable being alone, I meet my husband. We’ve been married for 5 years.

[@chellybaby]

Where did you meet your husband? I’m positive that I’m done with dating apps but not sure how I’ll meet my person since I don’t go out much

[@melteddarkchocolate000]

@@chellybaby basically that. Take yourself out

[@bryanf6638]

As a single guy in his 30's, I can attest that dating now is basically dumpster diving for scraps. We're fresh when we get tossed in but every passing day we just continue to rot.

[@alicia_nicole]

🤣🤣😂😂

[@spiritofalaska]

Because you aged like 💩

[@FA9082]

So no one gonna mention she bigger than the Michelin man...maybe that's why dating so hard for her 😂

[@Sunnydee2005]

Hi Bea! Once again you’ve proven to be the most relatable person on KZbin. I didn’t meet my boyfriend until I was 33 and at the point in my life I was secure in who I was and secure in my life. I think you’re having a good approach to dating and continue to be yourself and be assertive!

[@Kimdor83]

The comment you made about the contrast of "online friends" to trying to make a friend in the flesh I thought was particularly poignant. We probably seem like imaginary Friends to you. Us commenters and viewers... However you are a very real presence in my life ..... I look forward to Monday afternoons with Bea! 😁 Thank you for putting yourself out there. Maybe there's an imaginary friends club get together in the future?

[@barksinspanish]

^this

[@julietmarlowe5661]

I’m 40, and dating, people are interesting that’s for certain, the most important relationship you ever have is with yourself, it’s your world and other people are just in it, you are so relatable! Exactly the content I needed right now! ❤

[@3534MilanDrive]

oh my. I went through this 20 years ago. Dated guy after guy and they all sucked. Dating is so awful! Thankfully, I eventually met my husband and we were inseparable since we met and that was 20 years ago.

[@Ephesians5-14]

It only takes the one 😌

[@iamtabitha]

I wish comments like this were helpful for single people 😂

[@allyg47]

Was there online dating 20 years ago? How did you meet your husband? I feel like online dating has made things way harder, although that might be because I'm older (38 years old) and the dating pool has narrowed (seems like all the good guys are married already).

[@lisamarie1395]

Man, I don’t miss dating. I was opposite of you in accepting flaws so I was almost always the one who moved on quickly. Then I met my husband and he was a caliber of man that I had never met before. Lo and behold it suddenly became a lot easier to be patient with things I perceived as flaws… Getting there sucks sometimes but when you find the one it’ll click and you will absolutely know it. In the meantime, you get a freedom to focus on yourself that is priceless! 💕

[@djaeger-k5m]

He isn’t of any caliber if he was ok with accepting leftovers tbh…

[@june29378]

@@djaeger-k5m a 30 year old is leftovers in days we live up to 80 to 100? are you 14?

[@nansavm]

You are indeed normal, but you are also exceptional at self introspection and monologuing. I am NOT a theater buff, but I would -and do- watch your monologues anytime. You have the gift of words and I thank you for sharing them. 🥰

[@itsamandacristine]

Bea.. Stay positive in this dating journey. I met my fiance almost 4 years ago (at 32) on Tinder. It may take time, but it's possible!

[@wendyhill4092]

Same! I met my husband on tinder just over 4 years ago and I was 30.

[@autumnh5027]

or she can take a break/quit like she said she wanted to..

[@aprilwoodworth5034]

I feel you girl. I’ve downloaded the apps a few times and deleted them within a few days all 3 times. Dating is so exhausting and men are honestly disgusting it’s just not worth it. You’re an amazing person with so much to offer, don’t settle on these losers!

[@aprilwoodworth5034]

@@lelandgaunt9985 zero lol

[@juliecrenshaw427]

Time to go back to the grocery store, vegetable section. I remember you talking very well with this guy. Strike up conversations everywhere. Not a dating situation. Just friendly exchanges. If the vibe is good and a man takes time to talk to you, he's interested ." ! really enjoyed our visit, be nice to talk to some one enjoyable. Would you like to have coffee sometime?" If you get the I don't drink coffee, well it was still fun talking to you. What do you think Bea? I missed you last week too.

[@ericastivison]

Yes! And wasn't there a guy from the post office too.... ???

[@JadexBambrough]

@@ericastivison I came to the comment section specifically to mention the UPS/Postal guy!! I commented on that video that there was a connection there!

[@brahmandpedigree]

The last 3 minutes of this video is incredibly relatable. The whole thing was awesome, but especially the last chunk.

[@avril14thlove]

Omg Bea...I felt like I was listening to myself talk here. I'm about to turn 30 next month and since I was last in a long-term relationship (~3 years ago) my dating life has been utter sh!t. I relate so hard to being super open-minded (maybe to a fault) in regards to other people, but incredibly hard on yourself. Dating at this age feels like you're kind of just getting the sloppy seconds sometimes. It's also so hard not to get discouraged when you go out with 5+ people in the span of a few months and not a single one leads to more than 3 dates. Just know that you're not alone. I still feel horrible about my situation but it gives me just a little bit of relief to know that someone else is going through the same thing I am. Sending love.

[@vAndres49erz]

Welcome to hell. Enjoy your sloppy seconds.

[@Me-mb1ex]

I would've corrected Kevin in front of the waitress. "I'm paying for what I ate". I ain't Dutch, foh.😂

[@RandomFandomDragon]

This! 😂 I would have absolutely corrected him "actually, we need separate checks, not splitting the check". Especially after he seemed to get annoyed.

[@Eg-jd9zt]

@@RandomFandomDragon and then we need to go our separate ways 🫠🤣

[@djaeger-k5m]

If you’re broke you should just tell the guy

[@The.DirtyWitch]

I would be honored to be your friend! You are hilarious, witty AF, speak so eloquently , introspective, and have a wonderful outlook on life and the world!! Keep on rocking on queen!

[@cupcakecarolina]

omg dating stories/ rants are so great especially when they're being told by you! your breakthrough at the end really hit home for me 💕 you deserve the best. and those people who make you feel lonely are not the people you want to be spending time with. we all love you because you relate and feel like we would have great chats with you IRL. also, not at all trying to label you with this, but I feel very similarly about attraction and its called 'Demi sexual' you should look it up!

[@laurenlarkin4112]

your being willing to accept flaws in other people and truly trying to see the best in them but being unable to do so for yourself hit home. i was discussing the exact same thing in therapy the other day, and i mentioned how strange it is that i truly have no clue what to consider a deal-breaker and will try to keep things going indefinitely until something (like rudy’s being MUCH too close) goes too far. it’s definitely not fun, but i’m glad someone else has put this feeling into words.

[@sweetchic1985]

Bea I know it's crazy to think you have so many online friends and it's tough when you struggle in person, but we are here for you because we relate to you so much. I personally relate to you so much and that's why I love watching your videos every week because I feel validated. It started with the weight loss journey, to the mental health, now to just living life and dating. I went through the same online dating cesspool that you are, and I know it's cliché but when you stop looking, your person will come to you. I give you a lot of credit for not settling and just going to date multiple people, I know how much energy it takes to put yourself out there time and time again and it can feel wasteful. You deserve the best person out there that will treat you right and that THEY will be enough for you. Don't ever think your not enough for someone else that's on them and that's their problem. Thanks again for the laughs, it's like were besties sitting in the car and telling stories.

[@Fancy07911]

Bea, keep going! I met my husband on Tinder back in 2017. Before that though I had plenty of terrible dates from Tinder. The one that takes the cake was the one where he revealed to me that he was a magician and proceeded to do magic tricks for me the rest of the time in the middle of a busy park. Then when I told him I wasn’t feeling it anymore he then told me he knew that we had a special connection and then stalked and harassed me for many many months afterwards until I threatened to call the police 🙂

[@celestialpeach4205]

"I didn't tell him the channel name or anything" Girl like it's not just your name 😂 Missed your videos, always such a good laugh

[@queeniemarkham8022]

Two things Bea: 1. You’re awesome, your assessment of the men in the online dating pool is hilariously accurate. 2. Just continue to be you and do things you enjoy doing. That’s what I did; I met my now partner “in the wild”, even though my opening line was something along the lines of ‘having a mental breakdown mid-divorce’. You go this.

[@annaburton768]

As someone who has dated a lot, and is now in a year-long happy relationship. I can honestly say a lot of these guys quit talking to you because you didn't put out. The catch is they would have quit talking to you anyways. I've had it happen a ton, trust me it's not you it is definitely them

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Well it’s still her fault because she should be honest from the beginning that I don’t have sex until marriage or we are exclusive etc. to not say something knowing guys want it is bull crap because you use his desire for sex to extract time, money, attention from him with no intentions of putting out.

[@ChaosWitxh]

Tim was married. And your personality is a lot. But, it’s exactly what keeps me coming back every single video, even if it’s late 😅 And I have ADHD also, so that’s saying a lot because I cycle thru KZbin channels frequently. Yet, I always come back here. I’m going to go full unsolicited mom mode and tell you like I tell my daughter because she has such a similar personality. I know she’s going to be a lot, but she’s such a joy in this life. The world needs more people like both of you. You are both a breath of fresh air. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s fine. They aren’t yours either. If someone doesn’t like you, you wouldn’t like them if you had more time with them. And there’s no sense in wasting your time or energy trying to figure out why or letting it make you doubt yourself or give up on dating. Some personalities attract and others repel. There’s psychology behind it if you follow the meyers-brigg tests. So, it’s not you, it’s a mismatch in personalities. But, when you find that person, they’ll be THAT person. Ready for allllll the things and all the laughs. It’s going to be beautiful and scary at the same time. So, don’t let some douche bags that can’t handle your personality, brains, and active self-growth mentality affect you. They are not in your league 👌

[@darlaemberton9349]

Omg, all of this! I feel like I give so much grace to others and accept them, but don't get the same in return. I always end up being the one keeping friendships going or putting effort into relationships and it's not equitable. I've recently realized that I always care about other people's feelings, but I find that people will say things to me that maybe they wouldn't say to someone else because they don't worry about hurting my feelings. Sometimes it's so much easier to be alone, because I like me!

[@heidi5452]

Exactly what you said Darla.... it's not equitable.... I'm done putting effort into friendships when it's not returned... Know your worth and do what you gotta do.... Sometimes it's better to be alone and not deal with the drama

[@carissatianne]

Love you Bea!! ❤ About to walk into work right now but saw you upload and sat right back down in the car to watch first. Priorities.

[@atreebythebrook4244]

I'm proud of you for not trying to fix Tim. I absolutely feel like I'd try to fix Tim and end up getting myself into a lot of trouble. I think you're doing a really great job :)

[@jiji.1038]

I would do the same😂

[@kimdriscoll9135]

I think Tim is married and his wife is going on “vacation”.

[@carrotlover7763]

Tim needs to fix himself, no one can fix someone else.

[@dangitbobby.3942]

Yeah Tim needs to go fix himself

[@melissamusick5864]

I would probably end up marrying tim...and this is why i don't date. lol

[@randomlyjessie9689]

That’s why the first date is ALWAYS coffee or ice cream so you can get to know each other and it’s clear it’s only a quick date. My husband and I met on a dating site and I had him take me out for ice cream and we closed it down we talked to long. My husband talked lovingly about his mom and how much he loves working on cars so those are traits I wanted because he respects women and is handy. Think about what you want to do with that person and start looking for those traits-my husband loved video games and I am a homebody so I get alone time but he’s just on the other side of the room, we watch movies together, we go to target together etc. make a list of traits you want and look for hobbies that they already do. Or you can go out and do things you would want to do with them and maybe you will meet them out there doing that hobby too. It takes a while and frankly I met my husband when I started focusing on having fun and not long term. You’re wonderful and any guy would be lucky to have you so keep on truckin girl

[@dinonut80]

Us dudes have fragile egos, carry grudges, are generally gross, and poor at expressing our feelings in productive ways. My wife and I think you are genuine, creative, and hilarious. Hang in there! It took her and I until our thirties to find each other.

[@Haexxchen]

That's not just US dudes. I am 31, single in Europe and everything I find on dating apps, that is still single above 30 is: trauma, criminals, army, no social skills whatsoever, married and looking for an affair, guys with children (which would not matter if I was settled on a region to live, but this pins me down in the region where the childs mom decides to take said child, soo meh) Countless people have tried to kiss and F*** me on the first date, have told me "Let's do that again." and ghosted me on the way home, told me they hate women (and like me because I am not typical), wanted me just because I am overweight and thus have a significant amount of fat on my chest... Dating at 30 is mostly trying to dig up gold at a junyard and you yourself are also a piece of junk.

[@googleuser3749]

Yes! I was 24 but mature for my age due to being a genocide survivor & my husband is 12yrs older than me. 10yrs married this yr, 12 together. Deliriously happy. Bea is the bomb. She'll find the perfect guy and he better treat her like the queen she is!

[@MT-si3bu]

@@elizabeth5209 A lot of women act the same way

[@buzzweebee8685]

@@googleuser3749 I love that you are deliriously happy...long may it last :)

[@rachelharriscreative]

Glad to read this because I just watched a video that said if you’re a woman in your 30s who is single, you’re basically “leftovers” and “unwanted”

[@breesgirl5035]

I found an older man who knew himself and had emotional intelligence. This does not sound like a “you” problem. This sounds like a “them” problem.

[@Kate-hv2ef]

Ha this is my dating history all rolled up in one video. This is why I love you Bea (don't worry I live all the way in the UK, so no stranger danger here 🤣), you're just so relatable! Love it. Keep on swimming, there are some good eggs out there .... apparently 🤣

[@marieestrella64]

Liking even before I see the video! I’m just so happy you’re here! 50 and dating again, I can completely relate to all you are saying!

[@avril.227]

51 and apprehensive as well

[@joa9556]

Your baggage analogy is ✨perfection✨

[@ShockwaveB]

Girl, I can relate to this SO much. In my 20’s I didn’t really hate dating…I didn’t love it, but it didn’t seem as hard. In my 30’s it was a total nightmare. I literally just gave up at one point, and I am not the type to just give up and be total doom and gloom, but it was wearing me down and it messed with my head so much. Please don’t let the insanity of other people make you question your worth or desirability. You are clearly an amazing human and a lot of people see that. Unfortunately, a lot of people won’t get it or are looking for something different and they suck at communicating. I’m glad you shared this, because it reminded me how badly I handled things back when I was dating and how much I let it mess with my head and I feel like you reminded me of an important lesson today: you can let others dictate how you choose to deal with things. 💜

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

The real reason you didn't hate dating in your 20's is because you were riding the carousel and weren't serious about choosing a mate. In your 30's, you realized that your expiration date was once you hit 25. That's why it became "hard", and you got less attention. Start being more honest.

[@bountyyy1]

Beatrice you magical being you!!! The ending hit so hard because it’s thoughts I’ve been having myself lately so it’s quite validating and reassuring to know I’m not alone in this and I hope you can feel you’re not alone in this either! I feel you on it feeling cringe to say it’s time to “date ourselves” but maybe it’s time we do cringe things if they’re going to be beneficial for us in the long run. You have the audience you have because you’re you and relatable af which is rare to find now a days in a modern day filtered/altered world. Thank you for your videos honestly 🥹 you feel like a long lost friend!

[@tonimayers1109]

I started and quit online dating a ton of times (with some super cringy horror stories), then I met my fiancé after 3 years. I also always feel like other people have these amazing social lives and I’m over here playing Sims, making friends with a computer simulation. You’re doing fantastic. Keep being you, Bea. 🤘😁

[@dustinlongo5995]

This is why we love you! You’re a real person and it’s surprisingly hard to find genuine people these days. & you’re cool as hell, don’t let anyone take that from you 🙂

[@sexaylaydie]

Super grateful that you are part of my life :) Best videos on KZbin hands down

[@Sam12361]

Am in the same situation as you I don’t like dating never have never will it’s strange the concept of being rejected. Which happened to me once really hurts and I will never put myself In that situation again.