Dating Over 50: Top 6 Reason Why Someone Will or Won't Be Attracted to You on a First Date!

[@amygalvin1799]

It’s very telling to see how the most powerful person in the room treats the least powerful. Kindness rules.

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

Well said!

[@meredithmericle7487]

Best not to have two men who each thinks he's the better one. Unless they've been taught civility by the parents, there might just be a fistfight in the parking lot. Testosterone should be a controlled substance. Too be fair, not enough estrogen, and she'll be out there fighting with you too.

[@peterandreadakis3851]

"Kindness rules?" Well, not always. Behavior, all behavior, is always situational and conditional.

[@LadyGoza]

YES!

[@mostlyme910]

Not so sure that's kindness. It would be if it was real, but often these dating tests become self fulfilling. People start behaving like the pavlovian rat, if you understand what I'm trying to say.

[@irishmarie9892]

Yesss the cellphone usage throughout the date is incredibly rude. I told one man that if he is too busy for this date, he should leave to take care of whatever it is that’s taking his attention away from me. He was shocked I spoke up and he apologized but he didn’t give a reason. No 2nd date for him. 🙃

[@2ndActTV]

Yup! Don't blame you! :-) Thanks for watching :-)

[@RetroCaptain]

Yes. Twice, it was quickly "cancelled" via a supposed "important text", the moment I arrived. Another woman spent a % of the time, reading texts ? from other guys? My last date, put her phone on silent, and in her purse, and the date began. I really respect her for that. I understand, if there's an illness in the family, or something (actually) important, and I'm informed >up front< I'm completely ok with it. "My dad's in hospital, I may receive an emergency call" kind of thing.

[@justinek6889]

I had a date this summer with a man who talked incessantly about himself duringa rather lenghty phone call. Decided he seemed like a good person, so we met for a last minute date after work. He sits down and says so what do you want to know about me. I commented that he talked about himself for 3 hours during our conversation, what would you like to know about me? He still dominated the conversation and anytime I tried to add to it or tell a little story, he would pick up his cellphone. I stopped talking everytime he did it. He would say go on and I would say No, you're not listening... He also said well your face looks like your pictures, but your body doesn't.🤯 I had jeans and a babydoll top on. Cute, but not the most flattering. Sorry guy, I don't wear the dress that makes me look like Jessica Rabbit to my office. It wouldn't be appropriate, nor would it be my choice to wear to the diner 🙄 Then he thought he was going to get a kiss? 😂

[@RetroCaptain]

@@justinek6889 He might have been nervous..? I know, pretty much every "first date" I'm unsure at times, and talk about nothing too long to avoid an awkward moment. I wouldn't go on for "hours" though, just till I'm settled. I try to avoid making ANY remark/comments about a dates figure, or clothing, (unless she's a welcome surprise, (she wore a dress, I can't help it "wow I love that" etc. But negative comments are put on silent, and only mentioned in a generic way, rather than a direct pot shot. I don't expect a woman to go full dress, to a Coffee date. The last woman I went out with, it was the reverse problem! She talked incessantly about her sisters, and their kids, as if I were a cousin. All she said about herself; I eat Tacos on Tuesday. So, I gathered from that, I wasn't her idea of Prince Charming.

[@justinek6889]

@@RetroCaptain i thought he might be nervous on the phone, which is why I met him in person. I quickly learned that he loved to talk about himself. There needs to be some back and forth rapport. When there's a lull, I try to ask a question or find a new topic. The cell phone was what pushed it over the edge. It's rude. I understand when someone has kids at home or a valid excuse.

[@radianceface5107]

1. Showed up late 2. Didn’t make a reservation 3. Poor personal hygiene 4. Lied about their age 5. No eye contacts 6. Negative personality

[@nancyk6563]

If you have to write these things in a checklist to make sure you do them on a date, you are not ready to date! The only thing that works is being your authentic self.

[@peterandreadakis3851]

Being "your authentic self" almost always gets you fired, dismissed by women, and reviled by other men. To succeed in these times requires great acting chops. Being liked, getting along, requires great theatre among strangers. Silence can go a long way.....

[@jaylove3487]

If I could give any advice, look like your picture, otherwise the date is over before it starts. What a lot of folks don’t realize is the reason their date is not acting right is because they are pissed, they are literally sitting there fuming. Why? Because you lied to them. Be honest about your appearance, attract someone who is attracted to you, not your alter ego. Most humans are too polite to blast you so they sit through a painful date waiting for it to end. You go away thinking it’s them. The reality is they would have acted completely different if you looked like your pictures or alternatively you had stated your correct age !

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, great point!

[@anhpam9205]

Absolutely true- has happened to me too many times over. Men, please don't lie about your height! you want us to be slim, pretty and feminine for but you may be balding, have a spare tire yourselves. Post a clear photo on the dating site, no sunglasses and there's no need for a motorcycle, yacht or fancy car in the background!

[@Refreshing_Words]

Love the old fashioned, manly man. It’s refreshing for me.

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

Hi 😍😍

[@aeolianartists]

I think one thing that was left out is when someone is negative, if you are with someone who sees the glass as half empty all the time, that's a turn-off. As far as a turn-on, it is someone who is fun. I am surprised that after 20,000 people surveyed these points did not come up as in the top three, maybe they were in the top ten.

[@2ndActTV]

Great point! And I'm sure that did come up high on the list. I think that having a smile and looking pleasant goes a long way to being positive! Thanks for your comment!

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

Completely agree. There are so many points that can't be covered in 16 minutes and this is a great one. Thank you. We've actually talked about this before, about leaving emotional baggage at home which often influences how positive or negative we are, or better yet unpack it and get rid of it! :D

[@richardpauly1635]

Yes enjoying being with a person and spending time with them

[@joywebster2678]

I think interested eyes, and gentle nods or active listening is more important than smiles that look awkward.

[@gary6514]

Sometimes on a first date we are so anxious about making the right impression that we make the wrong impression instead. I agree completely about the usage of a mobile phone while on a date. If they are more interested in answering their text's rather than talking to you then its certainly a red flag. As far as I'm concerned they are certainly not who you are looking for. If your first date is a restaurant meal....make sure you don't have spaghetti....its very difficult to look sexy and alluring while trying to eat spaghetti!!! I had most of the sauce down my crisp white shirt....Joni is such a great guest. Well done Silke. Regards from England.

[@2ndActTV]

Thank you Gary, all the way from England! :-) Yes, we love Joni, she is always a great guest and will be back for more! Too funny about the spaghetti, and so true. No spaghetti on first dates LOL!

[@fredc3543]

LOL, spaghetti... I'm part Italian. Imagine how a sexy guy would eat it. Work on it [humor.] Oh, its not the food, its the moment.

[@2ndActTV]

@@fredc3543 LOL, hi Fred!

[@jillsalkin7389]

Is there any question about someone being on their phone unless it's their child or another text that cannot wait?

[@fredc3543]

I can't help but laugh [uncontrollably] about dating "do and don'ts." Reminds me of that movie "The Love Doctor." Its easy to have some guidelines and rules, but difficult to remember all that stuff. Just date lots of people. Eventually you'll become a "natural." In the process, you may find someone special.

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

That's so true! Some of this may go in, much may not, but experiential learning is the real deal. So even if a person shifts one thing, it can change the trajectory of the conversation or the date or the future! Thanks for weighing in. :D

[@dipladonic]

These women are overanxious.

[@dipladonic]

@@fredc3543 This channel isn't 'relevant'. It panders to neurotic behaviour.

[@janep1968]

Kindness goes a long way. It's amazing that it's so hard to find right now. Where are the kind men???

[@janep1968]

@@virgiljohnson6482 I hear ya. We are out there. Just have to sift through a bit, but we are there... Probably having trust issues... 🤣

[@woodliceworm4565]

In the shadows never seen, remember kindness is also a target, those that move forward to make a stand on behalf of others are kind types. As I say in the shadows.

[@janep1968]

@@virgiljohnson6482 I agree. Most people are self centered. I am empathetic, to a fault. Gets me in trouble all of the time.

[@mostlyme910]

I am and been scammed thrice, heart broken by a narcissist in the last year. Guess online dating brings out the best AND worst in people.

[@woodliceworm4565]

@@mostlyme910 Online dating is a battlefield swarming with predators and giant arachnids, a few lonesome worthwhile souls are trapped in the trenches with their heads down, low on ammo, and hoping they won't be shot or eaten, such a landscape is best avoided by all but the most well-armored.

[@azmike3572]

Yeah! Let's talk basic economics and monetary policy!

[@jillsalkin7389]

I'd love to see you address the subject of when sex happens. It is a game-changer. I don't think sex should happen until you've spent time with someone --- lots of time.

[@peterandreadakis3851]

You're welcomed to your opinion! Who exactly determines "lots of time?" You're clearly another woman who would seek to control the man and have the last say. YUCK.....

[@JimManeri]

I’m a helluva catch, available and ready for coupling. I’m 60 and very fit and active, and sexually fully functional. I prefer dating age-appropriate people, but I’m finding that the main reason people want to delay having sex is either they want to control me through sex, or they’re putting it off because they are no longer functioning down there. I’m 60, I don’t have time to wait for people’s weird mores or hangups, or religious crap, or non-functional body parts come to my awareness, so if sex is a big deal and I’d have to wait a long time, you’d better be a virtuoso in the sack or you were a waste of my time.

[@mypov4343]

As a man it's about protecting and providing without enabling. And yes I choose to pay LOL in fact I have paid dearly hahaha

[@2ndActTV]

As old fashioned as it sounds, it is about protecting and providing, thus the male energy! What it is not about is being taken advantage of! And that should clearly surface a few dates in! Thanks for your comment!

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

Well said. AND funny. :)

[@pavanatanaya]

If you aint paying, you aint playing.

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

So much fun as always to connect, Silke. What you do and the information you bring to the table are so important. I hope our conversations are able to contribute to your goals of helping people, and more importantly to your listeners, in a meaningful way. The meticulous work, love and care that goes into each episode matters. Brava!

[@richardpauly1635]

Nice pic and 😃

[@2ndActTV]

Awe, thank you Joni!!

[@RonDevito]

I would consider maltreatment of service staff a red flag for any kind of association - friends, family, professional - not just dating and relationships. I found myself with a relative who was like this one day. I was so mortified, I profusely apologized and left them large tips out of my own pocket to make up for the stingy ones the relative was leaving. Mistreating service staff does not fly with me at all. I knew this relative was trouble and a few years later, my suspicion panned out. Stay far away from people who do this. Agree too about smiles. If I were on the prowl again, a smile, and joyful enthusiasm are very important to me. "Resting bitch face," bad attitude.... nah.... I'd rather be alone, thank you very much.

[@GwenMotoGirl]

Watching again because I have a first date this Sunday! ❤️🎉

[@bophachea5926]

Hope your date went great. After 8 months, can you please take time to provide us an update ..thank you

[@staceysyvarth4452]

Not old fashioned chivalry is not dead!

[@janetkirsten6233]

I think the smiling shows enthusiasm which is great. In my experience the 3 turn offs are 1. Dating fatigue 2. Interregation speech , which is residue of fatigue and 3. Unfocussed as Jani points out not present. 99 percent of my dates are fatigued and they need to have a 6 month break. Thank you so much Silke for mentioning the phone thing. If a guy pulls out or answers his phone, I'm out of there !

[@2ndActTV]

Thanks Janet, I HATE the phone thing. So rude!!

[@breynnbailey1287]

I really enjoyed this video. I have watched a few others and learn something each time. I am 44 and lost my husband almost two years ago in a tragic accident. I am starting to explore the idea of dating to see what my feelings are on it. Thank you for what you are doing. 🙏🏻❤️

[@2ndActTV]

Thank you so much for saying that, and I'm very sorry for your loss! Starting over after the loss of a spouse is a big topic here, for obvious reasons. In fact, we have a whole playlist if you haven't seen it yet. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZy0lX2lbcmHec0 I wish you happy days ahead! Glad you are here!

[@breynnbailey1287]

@@2ndActTV thank you! I have and found them to be very helpful also.

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

Hi ❤❤

[@kateyk4340]

Most helpful episode ever for me!...I want someone in my life but I am sooo freaked out about the first date meeting thing. This episode gave me practical tools to psyche myself up!

[@2ndActTV]

Wonderful!! I'm so glad Katey and thanks for letting us know! It helps a lot to hear that our videos are helpful!!

[@joywebster2678]

When I first resumed dating I made the first dates coffee shoppe or tea dates. Inexpensive, room to be short or longer. It helped me manage the nervousness. And yes some dates gulped down their coffee and headed out. Others turned into long chats, a stroll and then a second date.

[@grantpenton1850]

I always meet women for 5 km walks around a mutually agreeable greenspace for 1-2 hours for the first encounter, and sometimes a second. It's vitally important to have a well functioning brain, and see a potential partner moving, and a walk or hike in nature is the best. If enough of a connection has been made for a 'date' to be a viable prospect, then we meet at a museum for an indoor stroll for sharing ideas and reactions. Maybe we'll share a quick meal afterward, but what's the point of making a long sit down meal in a noisy restaurant the core of a date???

[@joywebster2678]

So because somone uses a cane you won't datecthem since 5km might be too hard? Nice.

[@leslieferguson9562]

After a dry 1.5 yrs of no date/s, I've got plans to meet up with a guy for coffee 9/24, that I met on Match. If it goes on as planned, the timing of this vid couldn't be more refresher perfect. Appreciate you folks/this channel, in this day and age!

[@2ndActTV]

That's great!! Let us know how it goes! Good Luck!🤗

[@leslieferguson9562]

@@2ndActTV thx...will do!

[@leslieferguson9562]

Update: Daytime brief coffee meeting went well; nice guy (53), and a lot in common! He spoke of getting together again, in my 'hood next time, before we parted ways. However...he didn't text later on to follow-up-, nor as of this morn/day after meeting. This go-around (61), I'm not pursuing/chasing men---but, I also don't want to waste my time waiting if a guy isn't really interested after all. So...for whatever reason/s why he, didn't text---I, sent a text stating again how I enjoyed meeting/getting to know him, and would like to see him again if he continued to be interested. He texted back, and we're planning a lunch date for next week! Communication, is key...game-playing gets one nowhere!

[@2ndActTV]

@@leslieferguson9562 love it!! That’s exactly what I would have suggested! Just follow up once! Communication!! Then if someone doesn’t respond, so be it!! 🥂

[@SS-ly2bn]

Silke! You are so funny! Love these videos!

[@2ndActTV]

Awe, thank you!! :-)

[@manilanoakes3966]

Put the phone away and not only that TURN IT OFF.

[@danherrmann8755]

Yes. Your so positive with information. Please do a topic on opioids drugs and what to look for in a person. Doctors have many people over 50 on this drug. And it is creating a problem with people being covert Narsacistic personality. Explain to people what to look for. Only God can change these people. Doctors try to help people with there problems but then they can not stop the addiction.

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, opioid addiction is horrible and an epidemic! It would be interesting to look into this topic deeper. Thanks for your comment!

[@hardmanst]

Totally agree with all six discussed here. Just one question which for me is a minefield. Opening doors, pulling out the chair etc. This appears to me to be a 50% chance of getting it right. Is this therefore a good thing to bring up in the “getting to know you” time prior to you meeting in person?

[@markplunkett8079]

any thoughts on initial coffee date at the moment of meeting.....handshake or quick kiss on the cheek?

[@katemiller7874]

Handshake

[@eddy2561]

For my fellow man to be attractive to a lady: Be over 6' tall, arrive driving a Ferrari, but not a Lamborghini, and of course your Gold card has no upper limit.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Those types of men tend to be condescending pricks. All that consumerism and money isn't a drawing card. Most women aren't attracted by money.

[@staceysyvarth4452]

Not true for all Eddy

[@joywebster2678]

Women dating have met many lying smucks. So rather than all women wanting the man to be rich and fancy, it's to be certain he isn't homeless, supporting 14 different baby mommas, and lost his license due to DUI, and wants a woman to gift off of. Those guys are out there too. Just like some superficial women are.

[@ChristinePowell-bi4lz]

On a first date the man bought me a lemonade --beer...... He than said to me ....get me a beer 🍺 thought he was joking......so I bought him half a beer.....but I was not ready for this!!!

[@DT-abcd]

Really!! It's chemistry simple as that.

[@jacknjill3000]

I’m about to turn 60 next month and considering online dating for the first time. But in real life, most of my exs were more on the wild and crazy side and a few were bipolar and they didn’t know it at the time. So coming from that I hope to change my impression of women and hope o don’t just attract more. I think it also has to do with being Chinese and most of my gf have been white. So it takes a certain person to feel comfortable to be able to step outside of their race and like I said, it’s been the wild ones. Oh and they’ve isially made the first move or hinted very hard,

[@jacknjill3000]

Also I see many women always saying the right things and acting proper, but also see the real bitch side that just blows all that good talking away. Meaning when I see that and maybe also my personality that calls it out, all this doing the right thing talk sound so phony.

[@anhpam9205]

Men, AND women: For starters, just be a mensch ( Yiddish for gentleperson, decent, respectful and pleasant). Joni, I have a very similar pair of earrings to yours, just a smaller sized version- can you believe I've been 'coincidentally' wearing them while I watched this.

[@joedonlewis9820]

I know this is a chick channel but it just let's me know that I'm so screwed. On my once a year date I'm usually thinking, what kind of crazy are you. It doesn't take long to find out.

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

Well there ya go. You set an intention and then it sounds like you get your answer! :D And honestly, Silke has said many times that a huge percentage of men subscribe. Yay balance. :D

[@joedonlewis9820]

@@jonicaldwelllerner3147 I'm a tall good looking man with a brilliant sense of humor, I have more than the average bank balance and absolute integrity. I dress nice, wear the best fragrances, am a great conversationalist, and a single dad. I haven't had so much as a suggestive flirtation from a woman since my daughter was conceived. She's 23. So you're right, congratulations. .

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

@@joedonlewis9820 sending you lots of good thoughts on your journey! It can be complicated and I truly wish you well.

[@beckyowen3573]

At least you go out 1 a year. I've been alone for 6 years and though I would love to meet someone, I'm terrified of everything that's shared about dating now. No after my husband past I knew how much I missed being with a special person but it not easy to find that. With Dr Phill giving all the information on scammers and users just looking for a fling leaves an uneasy feeling to even try....😖

[@joedonlewis9820]

@@beckyowen3573 Dr Phil is a scammer. A credible psychologist wouldn't foment fear for profit. Read what Helen Keller said about security. When Dr Phil offers a warranty on his advice believe that you'll be completely safe if you follow him. Otherwise I suggest you go with Dame Helen.

[@meredithmericle7487]

Can you imagine if someone met you for the first date with a look of nausea on his face. Yes, smile and be gracious and go through with it even if he looks like Bluto. Poor guy, probably took a shower and everything. Now, if he starts acting like Bluto, that's when you can get out your phone and play like your grandma just fell off her horse, and you have to get the hospital fast.

[@jay8874]

I not young elderly that is the reason I look for 30s to 60 widow or divorcee but make a tes me you can come to me To be fair you can stay first a Tourist at my small flat on ne Lunch Dinner or me bring you around you are my quest after you feel confidence then we plan together first trip . Ofcource my Country very safe and your safety myconcern if you nno confidence then my advice we whatsup each other .I agreed your both ideas and advice.Keep up! Warmest Jay

[@MsBee-oz7vd]

I am back on the dating scene at 61. I am talking to a man who lives 6 hours away from me. We have been speaking on the phone a bit and we seem to get along well. Because of the distance; he works and I am retired; schedule a date to meet somewhere in the middle of where we both live. Any tips for me concerning the long distance between us? Thank you!

[@2ndActTV]

Hello Ms. Bee, and thanks for your question. Long distance dating has become more and more of a "thing" and I believe potentially "a great thing" - especially when you are retired and not bound by work. The first thing, meet up with the intention of having fun and meeting someone new, not "the one" - take that pressure off and see how the two of you connect. Then figure out how to make a second and subsequent dates work. Friends and others I know in similar situations take turns on the weekends, which leaves a lot of room to "miss each other" and look forward to the weekends. Or, establish a "special spot" in the middle on weekends, or days that work for your schedules. Depending on how that goes, you can jointly approach the possibility of moving closer to each other. Good luck and enjoy!!

[@MsBee-oz7vd]

Why thank you so much for answering back so quickly. I had not been dating for 5 1/2 years and I feeel,a little lost about the older guys with dating ! Once again, thanks for the reply!

[@rosswardrop465]

Stay single.Waste of time.Only get used.

[@woodliceworm4565]

I put my hand on the steering wheel, then the transformation occurs like a werewolf - into Mr wheeler - motorist, god help little old ladies, dittero's and people from other places that can't drive or those that got into the bad habit of driving on the wrong side of the road when they generously termed - 'learned' to drive. Maybe breathing will help. Oh yes dating - well you have to actually get to a date first, I think that train has passed now, the world is very isolating today and opportunities are far from common. Interesting in my overseas mission I have had to move accommodation again and am now in a area kms from work but an area where there are a lot of retired and older people, like Florida but much much smaller, I did see a number of women about my age in the cafes by them selves, for some reason they seemed quite isolated, just a feeling, maybe this is the defining schema of our time and age, that and accommodation stress. Maybe I am missing something here possibly a culture thing, but dating in older age does not seem to be common, the take away from this vid is be yourself , you don't need to make an impression, people will work out who you are in time, and best be honest at the start - an act is hard to maintain, all this applies to normal people of course not polished PUA's or other like entity.

[@jonicaldwelllerner3147]

Thank you for your input. I learned something from you. I had to look up PUA aka "pick up artist". LOL. I did experience the same sort of thing when I first started dating in my mid fifties. Men never approached me in public. I surmised perhaps they assumed I was attached because of my age and didn't take it personally but it did push me to try the online dating thing. Steep learning curve but well worth it. Good luck to you!

[@melmel8907]

Top 3 things that make you likable 1. Smile. Eye contact. 2. Vibe / energy you bring. Positive energy. 3. Story telling Top 3 things that make you unlikable 1. Talking to much. 2. Not being present. Using their phone. 3. Inconsiderate. Rude to people.

[@jonilerner4480]

Awesome recap!!!Have an amazing day. ;)

[@yank4334]

i was inconsiderate to a waitress once ( did it on purpose) becuase i did not want to see her again,, we have been on 5 dates and she never offered to pay for a cup of coffee.. She was ordering expensive food and drinks - free money for her. i did apologize the next dy to the waitress

[@johnhartsock1891]

If you got good head from her, all was well.

[@Stanbott]

Why did the redhead go in 20,000 dates? You gotta admire the endurance.

[@seaotter72]

Hahaha pound town!😁

[@jluis333]

leave the baggage in the car but don't forget your wallet

[@seaotter72]

As a man that was married 22 years divorced 6 years and my two daughters are grown and mountains of experience with women my entire life.Heres my advice for dating women over 50.JUST DONT!!! Date younger if you want to date at all.Your risk!

[@candice523]

You sound so depressing and negative.

[@adventures223]

Realtionships are not about getting a person they are about helping each other achieve their missions in life anything less that is codependent or gold digging

[@jjohnson8977]

#1 don't be fat

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Yes men make sure you're not fat balding, inactive and boring

[@channel1_channel]

YES. Work to decrease sugar, processed grains and vege cooking oil from the diet, and keep active.

[@joywebster2678]

Baring teeth in a fake smile looks like you want a bite. A normal smile for your face will be more genuine.