Dating Patterns Based on Professions

[@TheUniversalFrequency]

I'm a nurse and I completely agree. I always give too much and always leave because I feel drained & taken advantage of.

[@tannyamina]

Here I was thinking “ oh he won’t address my career path, I’m a social worker no one cares about us” then he proceeds to address the category with social workers first and highlights how we don’t think enough of ourself to out our self in relationships! 😂. Talk about a teachable moment lol… MIND BLOWN!

[@Chandibari]

I’m an engineer (consultant) and this is so spot on. I wish I knew this two failed marriages ago…

[@tspencer661]

Better late than never.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Not failure, it was a season.

[@kovarcoley8418]

Would you say you fall into the second or third category? I'm a female chemical engineer. And I feel I have to turn off my emotions to survive my environment.

[@don_tastic6590]

I’m an engineer too and this is definitely spot on

[@lasaintlauren558]

The way I didn’t think you were gonna say my job and you said it clear as day 😭😭😭

[@D09843]

So true, finance and tech lady here and def fall into "maximizing" myself and others. 😂. I feel like if im not changing, growing, evolving....whats the point?? But i've def grown into the understanding that everyone isnt like that, still learning how not to put that kind of pressure on myself or others, especially in relationships. That balance is hard to navigate

[@stevonnefuller8265]

I can so relate! I absolutely thought he wasn’t going to talk about me but he saved me for the end 🤣. But I mean isn’t the point of life to become the best version of yourself? Definitely worth finding the balance.

[@temperance2580]

Yep, I'm the same girl. Needed this

[@bryanalstoncoxing]

Even though I’m a gay man I’m definitely guilty of everything he said about businesspeople😂 Being less hard on myself and others (wanting people to be their “best” and getting frustrated by complacency, etc) is a recurring theme in my relationships

[@sayuristillwater7471]

Fellow FinTech-er girlie & as usual, he's spot on, arrrgghhh. How to turn off that switch 😅

[@tinkershell1856]

Nurturer. I’ve taken care of my aging relatives, alcoholic (now ex) husband, everybody’s aging pets, etc. I’ve been cleaning out my deceased mom’s hoarded house myself for almost two years. All of my relationships fit this pattern, even with my siblings. They recently insisted on helping with the house because they recognized it’s too much for one person. I honestly didn’t see it until now. I’m almost 59 and finally moving out of the back seat. I’m sick of being everyone’s mother. Time to find a corny guy who gives back 😅❤

[@kimberlyp.p]

Damn you're good!

[@bryanalstoncoxing]

He called me out 😅

[@hope-miracles]

This is so true even for the men too. I just had to end a relationship with a business man because he was always trying to “make me better”. I really wanted to make it work but I had to finally accept him for who he is & realize that this was just the way he learned how to relate to women… which is basically how he related to his buisness. He didn’t like it when I said that but the proof was in the pudding. I often felt his tone was that of a boss & employee vs. partnership (which is what I really desired)🤷🏾‍♀️☺️.

[@earthangel8399]

I'm in hospital pharmacy so i straddle both the nurturing and uniformed careers because I wear scrubs most days.... what i find in health care is that shift work kills your social life... and because health care is female dominated it's harder to meet men.... so alot of ppl try meet someone at work which honestly can be career suicide if the relationship goes south

[@idarabassey7455]

wow ...#LawyerLife

[@ladythought4959]

I’m a Senior Finance Leader in the Tech industry. Spot on regarding the competitiveness and also maximizing partners vs accepting. Thanks for the insight because I just thought it was me being in my masculine energy due to having to navigate as a leader in the workplace.

[@theupgraded6558]

tech & business here. yep, when it comes to dating we are a little delusional bc when we see, what is presented to us (a person), we fantasize about how we could improve this person (looks wise, career wise etc.) but yeah that takes an open minded partner on the other side ,or we should stop settling for less (aka the raw unimproved person) or just date in the same just listed "dating" professions to find true compatibility & fulfillment

[@nunatural08]

I'm an art therapist... I've definitely attracted those types of partners...smh I give too much.

[@nousnous4361]

I'm a dietitian who has migrated into healthcare business management and just like my career, your description of my love life is a perfect blend of options 1 and 3 😮. Spot on!

[@dapawta]

I'm in the law field and I just wonder if the chicken (the law career) or the egg (the emotional unavailability) came first with many of us tbh.

[@Zainygreenstone]

Yes, I give my all. Too much. So true!!!! Exactly with emotions too and the bettering.

[@Wonderer888]

What about the creatives, the fashion designers, architects, film directors/producers, musicians, artists?

[@DashaTheDivineDivah]

I agree...he never talks about us

[@spacebar9733]

Ooh yes please do creatives !!

[@babyhuggz]

I would say that those ones come under business because we tend to want to create something better than before. Those are very competitive industries also.

[@Pomagranite167]

Creatives 2ant skmething fun and different and interesting. Something with substance and passion, and imo, a big pitfall of creative types is that they are loving in the NOW and never think about who their partner was before them, or where the relationship will lead to in the long run. They just tend to be very "in the moment" all the time. To the point that they ignore red flags and choose irresponsible ppl who have no plans for their life or their future or the future of their relationships. Just coasting through life, without a care, and without a plan. They tend to choose these ppl bc it feels like a project but also very spontaneous and exciting bc these ppl can be a real muse but utilmately, end up being very toxic bc they just drag you down by going nowhere fast and taking you with them. And when they sit down and actually think long and hars about their future,they often don't see you in it, bc again, they are very "in the moment" ppl as well, but don't look too far forawrd or make decision with the long game in mind. Thats my take tho lol

[@tamsparris-bah8283]

​@Pomagranite167 Yes, as a creative person who also works in the arts industry, I can totally relate to what you've written. You have definitely given me a new perspective on my relationships that I never thought about b4. I now have incite and will learn from this when i'm dating again. Thank you ❤

[@goldenparachute392]

You are so very good at understanding the underlying factors

[@veryrealvlog]

OMG! This is so true. I'm in the business category (PR), and I'm always trying to get my partner to maximize his potential in every relationship.

[@Bellatheacapella]

😂

[@burginny]

Project manager here 🙋🏽‍♀️ Imma go calm down rn 😂

[@hunterkinkead3543]

Retail manager here👋🏽

[@lemoncholyme]

I definitely have the acceptance problem. However, I need to learn to leave them right off the bat and stop trying to "make it work" aka "maximize" them overtime. I wish I could go back to the old me who would just take one look at a guy and just know he's not right for me. Ugh

[@bryanalstoncoxing]

Yeah my last relationship was like this 😅 I knew within the first few months that it wasn’t going to work but I keep trying to “optimize” everything and force things to work which just made it worse. The plug should’ve been pulled much earlier

[@user-xv8uu9vm7v]

Data engineer/analyst. Problem solving and analysis. Omg SO TRUE!

[@msp9988]

I'm an Engineer but I have personality. I feel like I've been all of these women at some point. I usually attract the men that want to be mothered ,or the womanizer. Now that I'm in my late 40s with a young child, I must pivot!

[@arimay9555]

As an engineer, I date other engineers or guys in construction. They appreciate that you can relate and are generous and like to solve your problems as a team. Doctors and lawyers went through so much school they have no sympathy for others.

[@Anggg8708]

I'm in management aka a business person and I do heavy ops/ finance. This was correct...every minute of my day has to be optimized. In being the fix it person that always makes the decisions...I tend to try to do that for others-on the converse tho-others come to ask me for help a lot.

[@tamsparris-bah8283]

I work in the arts. I curate exhibitions, facilities workshops, a bit of teaching, marketing, promoting, organising events for arts based charity organisations and a bit of creating (working on my own projects). Not sure where I fit in with any of these traditional professions 🤔🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@tamsparris-bah8283]

*facilitate

[@sisandahenda5049]

I was also wondering where the artists fit into this, especially performing artists

[@tamsparris-bah8283]

@sisandahenda5049 I live and work in the London, UK. An example of performing artists I would work with, market and promote, etc would be actors (we have a tradition of Black theatre here and my friend, Mona Baptiste us even the director of a huge theatre called Brixton House), plus marketing and promoting dance companies such as Ballet Black (similar to Dance theatre, Harlem and Boy Blue (Hip Hop Contemporary) just to name a few. I also work with many music artists across genres like RnB, Reggae, and my petsonal fave afrobeats, as well as live music events and festivals. The charity bit is facilitating workshops to explore themes like identity, challenging white supremacy and racist narratives, and using arts as a platform for activism and peaceful protest. I hope that helps.

[@alashea2974]

I'm a day trader and this totally makes sense.

[@missmia3920]

This post gave me an “aha” moment. Black women catch so much flack for desiring to date or marry a man “on our level.” I’m in my 50s and just got out of a relationship with someone who is incredibly loving but not fully self actualized. We are at different stages and it didn’t work. So now I’m looking for someone who has established himself and accomplished the things he wanted to pursue by the time someone gets to their 50s. In other words, thank you for basically affirming that it’s ok to seek and expect someone with similar level of accomplishment. (And emotional self awareness 😅)

[@susi09]

Whoa this was spot on 😂

[@NurseNessey]

I’m a nurse and yeah, won’t ever put myself in the byke ever again.

[@B_ready4671]

I am in finance and u described my nature like u were reading a book, and I am in my self acceptance era..and I frequently joke that my work relationship is the only one tht I undrstnd intimately😮

[@elleburney5158]

Once again, this young man has nailed it.

[@diamonds0613]

You nailed it, this resonates with me. I’m business and tech. I love growing and learning, and see how this has shown up in my relationships it’s definitely something I wasn’t fully aware of as it comes naturally but I’m glad I heard it from you so that I can make a shift where needed for the better.

[@WacoBeautyQueen]

I’m definitely a tech business person, big data engineer at a fortune fortune 500 financial institution. I can admit in my last relationship I wanted to maximize the experience. I wanted to have the most fun, going out and being adventurous. Also I wanted my bf at the time to dress better and do self care better. I couldn’t come to terms with both of us being introverts and staying inside watching cartoons/anime and playing video games. I wanted a more adult relationship. Now I know I don’t mind that stuff but I’m only accepting kind, confident, extroverted-introvert or ambivert partners lol.

[@kkkkkkk7]

Spot on!

[@mamboculture7101]

Business woman here and this was spot on. I never thought of it as making my partner feel rejected 😬 wow very enlightening

[@ritababyy13]

Non-Profit lady & Coach and so true. I’m doing serious boundary work right now to allow others to do for themselves and for me to just be (and less of service).

[@sattasana7753]

I am a nurse who's transitioned to non-profit management. 😊 This is really interesting.

[@kittylew5895]

This is spot on for me in a nurturing field. Those are the guys I meet and I used to be a giver but in the past 10yrs I give a man nothing & tend to cut them off when they become needy or controlling. I feel like dating today is so difficult

[@paigenicholespeaks6172]

I'm a Senior Engineer (Tech) and you are absolutely right! Lol.

[@janeecelamadieu1136]

The business part hit it right on the nail. Im studying in the business field and all think of is 110% mindest. From me and my potential SO. Work my past exes i thought "he has potential. I can wait it out/help him there" but to no avail

[@sabadaga1]

As a female business professional dating a male doctor , you're so spot on.

[@happymetee]

Sooooo good! You hit the nail on the head for me as a business professional. I was just starting to come to the conclusion on my own about always maximizing but this just confirmed it!

[@eileendavis6908]

Network Engineer turned bus driver!😊 (Due to family obligations)

[@alishak4061]

I'm a flight attendant and so many people assume I got heaux in different area codes. Umm no I haven't been with anyone in 5 years. This video was golden.

[@rodericwalter2862]

This is extraordinary. I have never heard why professional adults have problems navigating relationships. And for "good" reasons. But relationships are not work and require other personal skills.

[@julinedaniels3805]

100% accurate

[@yolandasimmons7996]

I am a lawyer....100% correct!

[@ronirenee5391]

Accountant here! Why are you in my "business"? 😂😂😂 Yes, I do try to improve people.🤦🏾‍♀️

[@missymcfarlin5536]

Facts…I am only speaking from my experience as a teacher. I have always over giving in my relationships now at 45 I have nothing to give 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@jtruth129]

#2😢 I do have emotions…

[@user-hh5jo3fl5n]

Helpful!

[@kaylaperson4778]

Fashion designer here👋🏽

[@francesdobbins2964]

You are spot on!

[@reneelb7]

Business - thank you!!!!

[@MsAshleyCulp]

Wowww! I started in a nurturing career and ended in the project management industry, and both were spot on, down to the kinds of relationships I've attracted 😮🤯

[@rensii-e8b]

Im in education and I have disappointed a few people lol they see “teacher” and automatically assumed in this uber nice person giving out lollipops to everyone. I’m kind, sweet but have a strong identity and I actively practice self care. I do observe many, most teachers do have that ESFJ personality and are incredibly giving and others-centered, so I can see why men have certain ideas.

[@QueenofmyPlantpot]

Also some guys have really strong fantasies about teachers. I teach 8 y.o.s, please just shut up, Jeffrey or whatever your name was.

[@Ourlyfestyle2day]

Dead on!

[@allaboutshara2783]

Hairstylist and Police.....good Lord...Im all over the place lol

[@taracannonllc]

WOW!

[@HSBsoulsurfer]

And if I'm a (feminine) truck driver? 😅

[@aprilyawnsaprilyawns575]

I run a business am also a designer (fashion)

[@BankruptcyLady-w8c]

Almost wanna quit my job, now. 😂

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

😂😂😂

[@AA-yc9dq]

Hmmm let me guess, nurse?😂 me too🥲

[@ksmith80]

This is dead on for me. Accountant and former college athlete so always trying to be better. And make the man better. Wow 😮

[@knowledgegirl661]

Finance wanting to swotch to tech to maximize myself 😂, spot on. I'll try np to be hard on my bf for wanting him to grow and want more professionally. This helped alot

[@nubnsista]

💯 correct!✅

[@vidinhadovini]

Marketing and i feel atacked

[@bryanalstoncoxing]

I’m in marketing too and he cut me deep 😅😂

[@DrGoldieMD]

Physician and sounds about right

[@Honeyluvssteph]

I was a help desk tech / project food ALWAYS had a man all those years …broke off engagement and also coincidentally laid off…so then got a part time gig as a store manager until pandemic now I’m contract manager Been single since engagement 7yrs ago All that to say yea I agree 😢

[@omphilemoerane2569]

Do you regret breaking off your engagement now?

[@Honeyluvssteph]

@@omphilemoerane2569 No regrets ☺️It was another lesson in life and love for me and I am grateful because I am better from it

[@aprilyawnsaprilyawns575]

Would you say that the same applies to guys?

[@gardenoflaina]

What about creatives/artist?

[@afrochica05]

❤❤❤

[@TheRealKimberlyThomas]

Executive Chef

[@NiciBibi]

Where do I put bookkeeping, Taxes?

[@radguurl]

Corporate Investment Banking...I hate it but do it for the money so I'm not homeless 😅

[@WaitingToC]

Ouch!

[@niceymix1]

l a Compliance Officer in healthcare . Im intrigued, I would love to know more about how to attract the right partner.

[@KamariaAsantewa]

What about STEM field and the creative arts

[@lyndseygolden7546]

Acupuncturist, yep not interested in second class over here or submitting to being someone’s mother

[@julie1393]

Yikes! This was loud and something I never thought about

[@oweber2160]

Maximizing and analyzing like a spreadsheet 😂

[@thegazetteyt]

What about creatives?

[@habibajaver1922]

Programme development officer

[@Dee_H]

Bullseye!!! 🎯🎯🎯

[@lakeshajohnson2592]

My profession is DOD

[@veronicalake4093]

I need your help please.

[@Nise0023]

E6 military and police😊

[@arimay9555]

I am officer and couldn't imagine being enlisted woman because you guys deal with the worst and always surrounded by trailer trash men. My advice is to stay around civilians as much as possible and not tell ppl you are in until you learn the art of flipping the switch

[@imaanhanif8863]

An architect?

[@JaneDoe-s5u]

Acting

[@missmia3920]

This post gave me an “aha” moment. Black women catch so much flack for desiring to date or marry a man “on our level.” I’m in my 50s and just got out of a relationship with someone who is incredibly loving but not fully self actualized. We are at different stages and it didn’t work. So now I’m looking for someone who has established himself and accomplished the things he wanted to pursue by the time someone gets to their 50s. In other words, thank you for basically affirming that it’s ok to seek and expect someone with similar level of accomplishment. (And emotional self awareness 😅)