Dating Rules For Women That Eliminate “Basic Men” (Because She Has Standards)

Videos Mentioned:
The Best First Date Ideas: • The BEST First Date Id...
First Date Tips: • #1 Thing Men Should Do...
Article: nypost.com/2023/08/16/my-dati...
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
BUSINESS INQUIRES: [e-mail]
AMAZON STOREFRONT: www.amazon.com/shop/courtneyryan
I make a small commission on items purchased with my link. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it!

[@spandau9]

It's weird, her list of expectations was totally reasonable, yet she came across terribly. It was just her snotty snappy delivery that really rubbed me the wrong way.

[@Dandeeman26]

Yep! yep! I hear that.

[@davidlittle6621]

100%

[@0biwan7]

most of the list was totally reasonable, except for "demanding loyalty". it's completely reasonable for her to have her standards, evaluate their actions, to delay physical intimacy at the start. but to expect loyalty during this initial evaluatory phase indicates that she's closed to the reciprocal idea that she is being vetted as well. this lack of reciprocity is also expressed in her "snotty snappy delivery". and i can't fault her for this. she probably has currently hundreds of applicants who wont vet her. the question is whether she will demonstrate some reciprocity and "up her own game" when she hits the wall and no longer has a parade of suitors. or will she complain about all the good men being gone?

[@Florida_gyrl]

I’m a woman and I agree!

[@GoldenMushroom64]

It’s probably because she’s fed up with going through dozens and dozens of men who behave below these very basic expectations!! She has a right to be ticked off, it’s disappointing when you invest into someone only to find out they’re no good

[@swirekster]

her: START CONVERSATION AND DON'T BE BORING her bio: ' live laugh love'

[@schmoemi3386]

Women are allowed to be boring. Men are not.

[@mgancarzjr]

Most people live boring, average lives.

[@antonboludo8886]

Not the people I know. @@mgancarzjr

[@antonboludo8886]

That's right. @@schmoemi3386

[@mgancarzjr]

@@antonboludo8886 does that affect what I stated?

[@sleepsound3107]

Almost every message that I have ever received from a woman on Bumble was “hi”. Gotta love those double standards

[@blackjackjester]

Reply: "PEOPLE OF EARTH, YOUR PLANET IS ABOUT TO BE DESTROYED."

[@phillipevans9414]

I'm not even on dating apps (in a long term relationship of nearly 5 years), and I get the same "hi" messages all the time on my skype account (admittedly, maybe for different reasons, but still...). Cheers!

[@hotpockets69]

Courtney, if you actually listened to her, said she experienced the same thing from girls too and said girls are also bad a initiating conversation.

[@edheldude]

Girl game: *exist* Advanced girl game: "Hi."

[@awsambdaman]

What’s so funny is that the most effort I’ve ever received from a woman was my now fiancé, she said “I like your jacket” (she messaged first, bumble) and then she proceeded to reply quickly. That’s really all it took and I’m marrying her lol

[@DoublesaberVII]

I suppose what rubs people the wrong way is her tone and what they have to look forward to once they meet the criteria. To me, it feels something like, "You get one chance to execute these things without mistake and if you manage that, you get to be with me. I won't give you much else because just being with me is enough."

[@shekool18]

Lol exactly. Seems like she's used to being put on a pedestal.

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Actually I think if you execute on the first date that will only get you to a second date and she will probably have a completely different list of expectations for that.

[@ccastaneda669]

Very well said, perfect comment!

[@bryantturnage7028]

And considering how many women would want the opposite of a few things on her list, every approach is a dice roll as to whether you're going to commit one of the sins on her secret list. It can feel like a pop quiz for a class you're just trying to sign up for.

[@michaelgoebel9370]

​@@JaySmith-pv2mwAnd I thought no one else was thinking that.

[@SuerWojtek531]

"That's how I have been dating for a year and this been working great for her" If she has been dating for a year and don't have a boyfriend I don't think it worked great for her 😂

[@maxlandsborough4138]

Ahahaha glad someone else picked up on that🤣

[@edeasley144]

Works great for her if her objective is to get with a bunch of guys and have them pay for dates though. Kind of seems like the unspoken subtext.

[@garypierce7380]

Yes, terminal dater.

[@DivineFrag]

Yep. I'm glad you picked up on that. She is clearly not a good partner. Any high-quality woman is gone within months.

[@daniellehotsky1776]

It depends on her definition of dating. 😆

[@PB-qb4gx]

11:06 "Im in it for a soft girl life, not to take care of you". This is the problem with people now, your in it to be in a relationship. This goes both ways, your looking for a partner so in the end your both taking care of each other. Its really not that hard.

[@rogerbritus9378]

"Don't be selfish! What about me-me-MEEEEEEE???" /s

[@Jazzmaster1992]

The lack of pushback from Courtney on this line feels telling. I'm not even upset about it, since I've accepted it's reality. I just wish there was a little more understanding that the effort it takes to cultivate being a "gentleman" - by taking charge, leading and planning the first date, and accepting the role of providing resources and comfort in a world that's becoming increasingly more difficult to do so - is NOT really that little of an ask. It seems simple, on paper, but it takes some serious work to achieve.

[@xfreeman86]

Bingo. I'm happy to be a provider, even paying 100% of the bills, but not for a woman who does nothing to take care of me in return. Her contributions don't need to be financial, but they need to exist in some form. She wants a traditional man who fulfills traditional masculine gender roles of provider and protector. She says she wants to "exist in her feminine energy". If that doesn't mean she's ready to fulfill her traditional feminine gender roles and cook, clean, wash and fold clothes, and take care of me in all those domestic ways, then goodbye.

[@GoldenMushroom64]

That one was a bit weird I’ll agree. It’s like, not going to take care of me… but it’s a partnership sweetie 😅

[@blackjackjester]

​@@xfreeman86I'm not a millionaire, but I am a homeowner. If I were to date a girl that wanted that soft girlie life, she better be cranking that "care" to 11, because that's what she is putting into the relationship to earn her keep.

[@SharpBalisong]

She said her list of demands has been working wonders for the past year of dating, yet she’s still single. XD

[@bubblechaser5369]

If she were my gf ... she'd be single

[@steveunderhill5935]

I would assume her list goes for her as well. She seems high class and obviously has high standards. Maybe she has serious skills that pay the bills, besides her filter and make up skills! No hate, just reciprocate.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

@@steveunderhill5935 lololololololololololololololol!!!!

[@saffy771]

Wait, I thought she's in a relatioship? Did they break up?

[@LS-iu5uk]

This girls entire vibe finally helped me understand what women mean when they say "ick". I get it, but chances are just from how she presents herself, she has none of the qualities that the man she wants would want.

[@niallk9336]

Yea, she went on about "soft girl life" and "feminine energy" ... but Dylan Mulvaney has more femininity and less makeup than this harpy.

[@greenshield1]

She is the embodiment of ick

[@johnmessick9946]

You are spot on

[@SnakeBitBob1982]

She will never have to worry about anyone I know EVER contacting her. Apparently narcissism is the new pandemic

[@karuns9500]

Exactly. He ego is off the charts. Hope she likes cats

[@stanoh02]

Narcissism on makeup. Let them take off their makeup and their frivolous hair-do and let's see who is really beautiful.

[@karuns9500]

@@stanoh02 Haha, so true 👍 🤣

[@Mercy1-]

😂

[@hotpockets69]

​@@stanoh02you sound bitter. Are you ugly and always overlooked?

[@stevenwallace773]

Let's assume everything she says are valid expectations from men. It still doesn't sound like she's prepared to do literally anything whatsoever to try and prove herself to the guy in return. It's ALL what she wants and what she feels. She doesn't seem to give a single f*** about what the man thinks or feels.

[@tombogie7913]

Women dont deserve the attention social media and dating apps are giving them. Every men should reduce the attention he is giving to woman to a minimum, until THEY are the ones that are desperate

[@raygorf735]

It's all a scam. Women don't even like men that much. They just fear loneliness and want some guy to fund their lifestyle. That's how the scam works.

[@shekool18]

That's the same vibe I got from the video. Double standards and entitlements. I don't know why some girls don't realize that is a giant red flag to men. It makes most guys keep their distance.

[@Swearengen1980]

Some of you bitches want to do nothing but complain. The topic of the video had nothing to do with what she offers in return, she was just giving some basic information to the retarded men out there who have no clue how to treat a woman. No one should have to watch videos online to know to open doors or plan a creative date for a woman. Nothing she said was unreasonable. The video is quite accurately telling men what most women want to experience. She has some pretty old fashioned values there, which is something the men in these comments section always complain is lacking. Then as soon as one shows up, you whine about that too. News flash - What the man thinks or feels is not relevant on day 1. It's not today, nor was it decades ago. The man acted like a fucking man, not a sniveling child like y'all do.

[@markcampbell2702]

I get the feeling it’s a one sided transaction with her. The man has to live up to all expectations while she doesn’t have to lift a finger. Men deserve to have their (reasonable) expectations reciprocated. If she really has been dating for a year, she would have found a serious relationship already

[@phily8716]

"Looking for a soft girlie life" - She's basically looking for a sponsor for her lifestyle.

[@stanoh02]

Men need to stop going after so called pretty women. Don't sell your birthright

[@stevec3526]

She isn’t even that pretty when all the makeup comes off.

[@gregolonious]

Serious. That chick needs to remember OF exists 😂

[@gordongekko2781]

I used to want a wife. But, now I have assets.

[@elfascisto6549]

@@gregolonious y

[@victorashul]

"a man who can provide" = "a man who can take care of me" = "a man who will be responsible for me" question: if you want someone to be responsible for you, are you willing to let that man decide for you, are you willing to submit to that man and let him be the man of the house? or will you be a "strong independent" woman while the man is providing for you? this is one of the main problems with modern dating that pushes men away

[@rogerbritus9378]

No - they are all immature teenage daddy-princesses who want it all, but you must provide it to her.

[@victorashul]

@@rogerbritus9378 I was pointing to that... that's why I put "strong independent" in air quotes

[@jasongates-]

Exactly.

[@johntaylor4513]

They want you to finance their entire lifestyle while simultaneously contributing nothing to the relationship and call you broke if you don't...

[@kylemacdougall8355]

Exactly. This is the problem with women saying they want "equality." They clearly DON'T want equality...they want to be treated better than men. They want all of the perks of being a man with none of the drawbacks, and they also want to keep all of the privileges that traditionally came with being a woman (again, with none of the drawbacks or sacrifices that came with those privileges). These perks and privileges are not free...someone has to pay for them. Who's left holding the bill? Men, of course. Do they get anything in return? No way, because if men got any rewards for their extra contributions, that would be "sexist" and "oppressive" and "abusive." 🙄

[@OpEditorial]

She seems like a joy to be around

[@garypierce7380]

This is sarcasm. I got it right away.

[@daniellehotsky1776]

😆😆

[@Dandeeman26]

😂

[@stevec3526]

She would be as solid no way in hell for me.

[@garypierce7380]

She looks like Dylan Mulvaney. I wonder if she prances around like a five year old?

[@matthewroth1]

I would love to see a man make a video of the "rules" or "bare minimum" for women on first dates in this format. Strictly following lists like this reduces men and relationships to being transactional, and imo, removes genuineness. If this make/model doesn't meet *my* needs/desires that means it's not good. It also instantly creates a defensive/standoffish mentality that creates unnecessary stress for both sides; more so for men sometimes since the vibe you're giving them is, "prove yourself to be worthy of me and my time."

[@brendanconlon8292]

I see what your saying, but in practice people need some way of vetting people. Obviously, the goal is ultimately to get down to one significant other, and woman don't have the time to go on multiple dates with lots of guys. There is a massive opportunity cost for every date, for both sexes. It is true that some of the things woman use to test men are silly but I didn't find anything on this list that unreasonable.

[@yme3267]

​​@@brendanconlon8292 while nothing here was unreasonable.... We already know she's been through enough men who DIDN'T meet this list and got laid 🤷‍♂️ (which I want virgins) She's clearly not traditional. Most men ARE virgins. Most women.... aren't. Based on her attitude and her "experience" alone.... she screams 🚩 So.... while I'd agree generally, and this can apply to anyone.... she claimed she want to be a "soft girl" for a man who's "super masculine".... and how she wouldn't do so unless you damned near dominated her own masculine energy. You have that little respect and are that desperate as a man that your deal with THIS type of woman? Really? In this economy? With THESE divorce statistics? Lmao. Go right ahead. Your death warrant. I'm not a dancing monkey or a COMPLETE slave to my sex drive. Porn is my sedative. While morally wrong in my eyes... and bad for me overall.... it's far less worst than dealing with THIS. Much rather get a few minuets to myself. 😂 Cheaper... less of a headache.... won't ruin me in my later years.... I don't want this as my final outcome. However, it is the temporary solution I have to stay the sexual impulses of wanting sex nearly 3 times a day from the age of damned near 13. 🤷‍♂️ Too bad women don't want nice, stable, reliable, faithful guys. If you know any women..... lmk. They aren't in church.... school.... work... they simply don't exist. So.... I'll do my own thing, and go my own way 🤷‍♂️

[@Swearengen1980]

None of this is true if you're an actual man and not a little bitch with the mentality of a child. This list is very similar to the basic expectations I was raised with on how to treat a woman and it's what every woman I've ever dated expects. I'm in my 40s and I've dated women of all ages and never have the issues I hear constantly whined about in the comments section because of how I was raised. These are so insanely rational and practical requirements you have to be a retard to find offense to it. They are literally old fashioned values for the most part, which is what guys here constantly say is missing in society. The only flaw in the video is that her personality is abrasive. If Courtney made this exact same video as a minimum requirement, you'd have zero issues with it merely because of the demeanor in which it was delivered.

[@garypierce7380]

Go ahead.

[@ImAgentK]

​@@brendanconlon8292To be fair, women going on multiple dates really aren't losing anything, their really isn't an opportunity cost for women because you don't have to sleep with the guy, nor pay, but a lot of women expect us to pay, so I don't want to be one sided here but men are the only ones risking something when going on multiple different dates, not the woman.

[@Cee_Eff]

My friend got rejected because he didn't have enough Instagram followers. In her mind not enough people liked him...therefore she wasn't "allowed" to like him either 🙄🙄🤔🤔

[@rogerbritus9378]

Social connections = power and influence. Exactly what women have always wanted in a man who can provide for her (and later her prole). That's instinctive.

[@Captain_Insano_nomercy]

@@rogerbritus9378 except that social media is by no means representative of people who would have your back in a fight

[@songsjj]

He got lucky and dodged a bullet. She did him a favor.

[@garypierce7380]

Instagram is a psycho ward full of stalkers.

[@daniellehotsky1776]

@@rogerbritus9378 Followers on social media is not social connections, for christ sake. 🤦‍♂

[@ethanmiller5487]

A thing about interpersonal romantic relationships that seems to be forgotten is we should be treating others how we want to be treated. Making rules you stick dogmaticly too means you want others to do the same. This makes no room for people being human. Men and women fear failed relationships, it sucks! Just relax people damn!!

[@mothegoat6865]

Thank you!!!!!!!!! Need more people like you brother. Finally someone else who gets it.

[@Ssm19494]

My man just hit the nail directly on the head 🔨

[@VaronPlateando]

it's over. mouse universe proceedings in progress, for 50 yrs below surface, only now | recently showing. and xx.s being genuinely xx.inely obnoxious merely enact their evo.psych 'nature' as human mammals.

[@rallycapandstanding]

A wise man once said,” YOU JUST MADE THE LIST! 📝”

[@kashawnjones2780]

Break down the Walls of Jericho 😂😂

[@xjoemallardx]

"Why am I on this list?"

[@SpoonHurler]

-A Lion that became a GOAT 🐐 🦁

[@IamjustBruh]

I understand that reference

[@sikguitarist]

"I'm from Winnipeg you idiot!"

[@Michael-gd8op]

And what do we get in return? A headache. Women only ever ask for what they want and never offer what they give. It's all incredibly self-centred. It's not worth wasting your time with these women men. A relationship with someone like this will be all one-sided and demanding. Don't date anyone you don't already know. It's just wasting your time

[@Florida_gyrl]

I agree! I’m a woman and i have learned the hard way to not date someone I do not know beforehand. Even if we spend a few months getting to know each other that’s better than nothing. I’ve learned a lot! Lol.

[@cencalsupras]

​@Labrador_lover2023 yep and going on a day trips or maybe just a few days out on vacation or something helps also.

[@oregonxyz]

That is because dating is a thrill for men who just want to be around someone pretty. It is like a drug high. Women know this. So if you don't get a huge rush from it, women know this too and they move on to the next guy.

[@someone-ji2zb]

Well it is because women can get dates easily. They are the ones doing the rejecting and not the other way around. On another note. Most men are simps in modern culture atm

[@h.4315]

If women "pre-stalk" guys for safety reasons, why then is it deemed "creepy" when guys do the same to girls?

[@traelee684]

Because we're not allowed to look out for ourselves. We're supposed to be lambs for the slaughter in today's society and on top of that, we're supposed to accept that and be happy with that.

[@garypierce7380]

Don’t worry about being seen as creepy. You need to know as much as possible about her before jumping in the sack.

[@ImAgentK]

@h.4315 Because men and women aren't the same thus we play the game by different rules. That is why it is ok for men to be promiscuous but women can't.

[@traelee684]

@@ImAgentK Yeah well I say screw that in this instance. If I'm gonna deal with you an potentially share my life with you, I gotta know who it is I'm dealing with. You can call it creepy, but I don't care. I'm still doing my research.

[@kylemacdougall8355]

​@@ImAgentKMen aren't really allowed to be promiscuous, though. If a man is promiscuous, he will only be congratulated for it if he's in the company of like-minded men. If he's in mixed company or in polite society, the fact that he's promiscuous will be considered a bad thing. He'll be considered a man-whore, a Peter Pan, or a player (not in a good way).

[@spartan5529]

Her list was pretty much what regular dating was before social media and hook up culture ruined things. The man really only needed to be polite, courteous, engaging to pursue a woman. It is interesting to see a woman finding value in the basics again. However she comes across very masculine and boss-babe in her delivery.

[@garypierce7380]

Still dating after a year? She’s a terminal dater.

[@hyperstatic6037]

Totally agree. What she said was reasonable, but her delivery and attitude is what makes it come off wrong

[@Mario88881000]

Bro, as much as I like her advice I would NEVER even go on a date with her. Like NEVER... I'd love to have her as my cool friend. But let other powerful guy be her boyfriend. I want love, I played power games for decades. No thank you 😊

[@macflod]

Yeah - talks about feminin energy whilst oozing masculine. He video just raises red flags

[@robsolf]

@@hyperstatic6037 Up until about the 10 minute mark. Then she's all, "Come to the table with all this as bare minimum; expect nothing in return".

[@RotoRooster]

The chick in this video just strikes me as a princess with a lot of demands and nothing to offer.

[@stevec3526]

I hate to imagine what she looks like under all that makeup.

[@arthurmorgan2906]

plastic princess

[@ankstuhful]

entitled with nothing to offer

[@zezeti2246]

In my experience,the ones demanding the most have the least to offer in exchange😅

[@stevec3526]

@@zezeti2246 Very true...

[@yuuyuuyu]

"And that is exactly how I've been dating for the last year" Yep, and that's why you're still single after a year of dating.

[@VaronPlateando]

yeah, go on dating then, figs or raisins may do, either. another of tons of debris to leave over.

[@Hits_JD]

These TikTok'er videos just keep reinforcing my decision to stay single. They have a myriad of 'requirements' but men should be fully accepting of all of their flaws--I'd like to see a video of women reacting to a video of men's requirements. Personally, I choose drinks on the first date. I've had enough of women who became belligerent after a couple drinks which is a deal-breaker. I'd rather find out on the first date than spend many dates and $$ learning that and other bad qualities.

[@brendanconlon8292]

In all fairness I think you are caricaturing woman. Having some standards is not the same thing as expecting men to be perfect, and she certainly didn't say that men weren't allowed to have standards as well.

[@ImAgentK]

​@@brendanconlon8292I don't think her standards were bad, maybe it's the way she came across though, like she comes across as the type that has a list but doesn't reciprocate.

[@0biwan7]

@@ImAgentK i became convinced she doesn't reciprocate when she mentioned she wanted loyalty while she was evaluating her applicants. if she understood she too was being vetted during the dating process, she would understand that it is too early for her to expect loyalty.

[@0biwan7]

@@Snake369 that's kind of funny. although her expectations do seem quite reasonable, what i find repulsive is the lack of reciprocity. lifelong involuntary celibacy sounds preferable to being in a relationship where she is evaluating me and doing nothing to improve herself to my standards of human decency. i cannot blame her since she's probably got dozens of applicants and can afford not to care about men's expectations of her. i do wonder what will happen when she gets older and the parade of suitors turns their gaze to women younger than her. will she start the hard work of reciprocating and meeting the standards she insist other meet for her? will she lower her standards? will she find peace in solitude? will she complain that the men who meet her minimum standards have disappeared and conclude there is something wrong with men?

[@WanderleiFan1]

Her: Don't be boring in your first message. First Message on bumble: "Hey!"

[@snakeplissken968]

She said this list of standards have been working wonders for her. OK, so she has been seeing lots of guys that have checked her list but still not satisfied on at least one of these guys 🙄. Have to wonder about this 😳

[@snakeplissken968]

IDK man, wonder why guys are tired of this list of standards shit only to be told "next" 🤔

[@garypierce7380]

She just says things to get attention. Click bait.

[@elfascisto6549]

Lots of "low value" men out there

[@stevec3526]

No sane man of value would put up with her BS for very long.

[@sdz9850]

Just for clarification, that woman with all of the dating rules is still single...right?

[@20thcentury_toy]

As expected

[@garypierce7380]

Yeah, she pretty much dates for views.

[@rickyaz8640]

It’s her hobby

[@JohnSkyLey]

Here's the real question after all this... what does she provide in return?? What do we get out of a relationship with her if we provide her with everything?

[@jmorales6539]

I wouldn't consider her regardless with the condescending tone she's speaking in.

[@mohamedh4782]

If a girl mentions a list of her demands and forgets to mention just one thing that she provides in return this already should give you a sign she doesn’t care about giving but more about taking and that’s the queen mentality that a lot of modern women have nowadays sadly

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

She brings entitlement, nasty attitude, masculine energy, and sign language.

[@paulcooper5748]

She has this little special gift for her man it's called drama and misery.

[@jimkennedy2942]

I have often pondered why the men of this woman’s tribe or possible culture would be so demeaning to their women, … this woman’s mouth makes it very obvious and it definitely eliminates her beauty. This woman is insolent and should be considered mere fodder for gossip and used as a warning to protect future gene pools. In a Star Trek episode, she would be described as “A giver of pain and delight”. The isolation of the “Modern Woman” and Feminist types are unfortunately a better option for mankind and backs up the quality aspects Darwin wrote about.

[@Cee_Eff]

The 7 day rule 😅😅...I have been following it abd have received lits of push back when it came time to get off the app. Seems that way too many women have no intention of actually meeting IRL as Courtney has said in the past

[@Zombiesrule93]

For real it seems like they want a pen pal for a day or two then the minute you mention meeting, all of sudden the conversation either dies down or they get hesitant.

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

​@@Zombiesrule93Are you sure it's not because you said 'zombies rule' to her? 😂 Cheers!✌

[@niallk9336]

They just want the ego boost.

[@thetiguy9120]

I think breaking down the video step by step is smart. Especially if its a longer reaction video. Thanks for the advice as always 🤙

[@timothybogle1461]

A few points to this. - Most women's profiles don't tell you anything at all. - I will ask you out when you can sustain a conversation. If you resond 3 days later. No thanks. - What is wrong with a walk. If I'm planning the date I am going to stress its a casual first date. - Guys who ask a girl to their place are Chad's and Tryones. They do it because enough women say yes to them. In effect they can. - You can't expect males to be in their healthy masculinity if you aren't laid back and chill 11:00 in the video.

[@lawrencerichardson2049]

The items on her list aren’t a problem. The issue is the condescending and entitled tone in which she delivers her message. One thing I will say for Courtney is she has a classy and refined delivery. Not a lot of women do these days

[@Agent_Six_]

You just know she escalates small things into full-blown arguments with that tone.

[@Klos1neMN]

It's interesting that she said, "This is how I've been dating for the last year and it's been working wonders for me." If it's been working so well, why are you still dating? Isn't the end goal that you would find a partner and be done with dating?

[@justacoginthefkery]

Ppl need to consider that you're vetting from scratch with a total stranger. It takes on average 3 months of being around someone regularly to see the mask start to slip. Some can keep up charades for longer. You'd be surprised at how many crappy, dishonest or married guys are on online dating apps. I tried it for 2 months, plenty of matches & likes, only met 4 guys & 2 of those actively sought me out after I dropped the apps. It absolutely should take time to find the RIGHT person.

[@Okunniger_Volker]

​@justacoginthefkery dating apps are full of desperate people looking for hookups or a bag. It takes me about 3 minutes to vet someone, you just have to understand the fundamentals of relationships and see if they do as well, if they do not, then you walk.

[@justacoginthefkery]

@@Okunniger_Volker no, it might take you 3 minutes to figure out if you're interested in getting to know someone, but that's not vetting. Not even close. You're kidding yourself if you think you can tell if someone is secretly married/ taken, has unhealed past relationship baggage, mental illness, is dishonest, disloyal, has poor intentions in just 3 minutes 🤣

[@Okunniger_Volker]

@@justacoginthefkery unless you're dealing with a professional liar, their stories will ALWAYS contradict themselves and the more they talk the more they tie themselves in a knot. You may not be able to, improve your perceptive abilities.

[@justacoginthefkery]

@@Okunniger_Volker yeah & it takes way longer than 3 minutes for enough interaction in order to catch most ppl in a contradiction. Vetting in 3 minutes like you claimed is an absolute bs lie that's for sure. There's is no superiority in pulling things out of your ass so at least try to be a bit more realistic if you want to engage in a productive conversation.

[@garvincrosby4349]

No sex on the first date, fine. I get it, but taking initiative to kiss her or physically escalate in a respectful way keeps you out of the friend zone or allows you to know her interest level and I'm not wasting any more money on someone who isn't interested.

[@Swearengen1980]

You can't comprehend what she's saying then. She's clearly talking about the forceful, entitled acting men. There is a way to physically escalate the date, starting with just breaking the touch barrier well before you're put in a position to kiss her. And any half witted man knows if a woman wants you to kiss her. Even the most conservative of women will flat out be screaming "Kiss me" with her eyes, body language, etc. It is not rocket science. I've never not once had a kiss or lack thereof go wrong on the first date because reading women is easy if you know what you're doing. If she's giving you clear signals that she's not all that interested, you're a retard if you try to kiss her anyway. And a lot of men are so stupid and unobservant, they try to force a kiss on a woman who's body language is saying, "I can't get out of here fast enough".

[@GoldenMushroom64]

My rule is no physical intimacy of any kind whatsoever on the first date. It’s simply too soon, especially if you have not known her for very long prior to the date

[@bobbruce4135]

A little escalation seems appropriate to test real passionate attraction (probably tons of choosing signals anyway). When I did Pa$$port it was totally fake love. The men were all escalating with the wallet and ATM card$. My super-Chad friend gets ton of escalation, all by the female. He sits back, they initiate. I've seen it. Never be a provider. No marriage. No family.

[@poeticeclipse]

Consider the fact that the woman might not want that on the first couple of dates. Friend zoning is built by lack of interest, not lack of physical intimacy on the first couple of dates. You can express interest in other more subtle physical ways. Plus, she just might not be interested. 🤷‍♀️

[@LM-cy5wt]

When there is literally no physical intimacy on the first date, things never end well. That's my experience

[@blackswan7568]

I love how Courtney was basically just a translator throughout this whole video😆

[@p.o.p.presents]

Exactly. She did it well too. She's translated and transformed rude to eloquent.

[@VaronPlateando]

well... maybe, but I wouldn't allow myself to get fooled, eg in projecting her onto the abrasive chick in the clip (eg like scene in bladerunner 2049, when joi tries to project herself over the 'professional' replicant).

[@bonemagnus4271]

When someone starts talking about “energy” it’s a dealbreaker. I don’t have an issue with the content - just the delivery. I feel Courtney gives very similar advice, but in a manner that is what a caring sister would say to her brother.

[@Vegaswill714]

While her expectations did sound reasonable, she came across to me as a very demanding person. The kind of woman who could be very controlling in a relationship. My reaction to her is no thank you, I'll find someone else. Anyone else see it that way??

[@ferney2936]

agree "....I'm in it for the soft girl life...."

[@bros4654]

Yep. Good list, bad behaviour. For her sake, I hope it's just a persona.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

Judging by the comments pretty much everyone had this reaction. Another Boss B making demands by a list tailor made to help her find reasons to disqualify you from the breeding and human contact pool.

[@robsolf]

2:35 Thank you for making this point. I always opened an online conversation with a question about something about their profile; something they said they were into, or a pet in their pictures. Often I'd get a weak response. And when women msg me, it's often literally "hey"... can't bother to even capitalize or punctuate. And even if I'd roll with that, the entire conversation felt more like, "I just wanted to get your attention so that you might entertain or validate me in some way. Please proceed." So I totally get where the woman is coming from, but man... the ladies absolutely MUST be far worse at this. 9 out of 10 is probably still too low an estimate when it comes to weak responses from women. This can make sense when they're responding to you as they may not be interested, but it's just as bad when they reach out. They just can't be bothered to use half a brain cell a vast majority of the time.

[@Swearengen1980]

This is the most valid complain in the comments. Most of these guys are being very defensive and unreasonable to a quite rational and realistic list. The reasons though vary quite a lot. I've seen women intentionally not start conversations to test men's ability to entertain her, make her laugh, or engage her....they're looking for evidence that you're not a moron. Many are just not very bright and suck at conversation.

[@shekool18]

@@Swearengen1980 it is incredibly difficult to approach a stranger, especially one that you have romantic interests in. When someone approaches you and says hi or hello, it is incredibly petty to judge them for that. Conversations start with greetings. If they are not being rude or vulgar, what's the problem? Perhaps this makes it even harder for courtship. People like this girl in the video, forget that is another human being, who is simply trying to engage in conversation with them. How hard is it to say hi or hello back? If you're not interested, just tell them you're not interested. There's no need to over complicate things. By the way. I'm sorry if I offended you on the other comment tread earlier. it was not my intention. I noticed you deleted your comment.

[@niallk9336]

The first line goes both ways though. How many women give you nothing to work with in the profile ? It's an overwhelming majority. "I like men who make me laugh" ... yea... cool... I like Bill Burr too... but what am I clown? Am I just supposed to open with some chicken crossed the road jokes ? And she is 100% that girl with a profile as basic as her face.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

@@niallk9336 I'd say it's 99 out of 100 female profiles that give you nothing to work with. It's obvious they expect his Mt Everest for her backyard anthill

[@VaronPlateando]

@@nathanmorgan3647 and the problem is when they're most probably handling 10 msg talks in parallel that doesn't leave much room for intellectual or at least inspiring output into each.

[@devs.4254]

Follow these simple rules to be the guy she makes wait, while her fwb never did any of it and gets to use her body whenever he wants. Including while dating you. I'll pass and hit the bars tonight.

[@neonnwave1]

My thoughts on each: 1 - That should be more than obvious. The point in getting one's attention is to stand out (but not too much of course). If your response or message is generic, then you're just like all the others. You have to be unique in a way. 2 - Yeah... Stalking is creepy, no matter who you are =_= I can understand why looking someone up as a 'just in case' measure. But I will say that there are people who do want you to follow them on all their socials. Though usually that person runs a business or is an influencer. 3 - Agree. Best to reach out as soon as you can. If the person doesn't talk to you for a certain period, any sense of a spark or connection is severed. Learned this the hard way myself. 4 - Women need to stop 'testing' guys. It's disrespectful. Guys, just like women, don't like games. Be direct and straight to the point. 5 - Agreed. Though some people like going to the bar. Also, coffee and walks are perfect for dates. It's kinda like a vetting process. If they want to spend time with you, doesn't matter if it's coffee or the holy grail. If they say no to coffee or walking, and possibly demand for expensive outs or only diner... that's a redflag. 6 - That should be more than obvious. 7 - The way she came off with that one felt very off. Yes women prefer a masculine man and want to be feminine, but you can't expect a guy to be macho 24/7. Times have changed, especially with how women's financial levels have gone up to the point they out earn most men today. My sister and her friends know this. 8 - She has a point. Although later on if it becomes a relationship, intimacy becomes a must. Of course one should respect boundaries but intimacy in a relationship is expected. Otherwise the relationship won't work out. Humans interact with all 5 senses, which includes touch. No physical contact equals no connection development.

[@joshuabenitez3260]

I honestly was a bit shocked to learn that going out to a park or something is a bad first date idea. I have always thought that it wouldn't put pressure on the woman to get super dolled up for a first date and going out and enjoying the weather and getting to know each other would be nice. EDIT: By park I mean taking a walk in the park.

[@traelee684]

It's not a bad first date. If anything you're still getting to know the woman AND you're not spending any money in the process. If a woman really was into you, she wouldn't have a problem as long as she still gets to know you.

[@joshuabenitez3260]

@@traelee684 sorry shoulda been more clear. WALKING in the park lol

[@traelee684]

@@joshuabenitez3260 I still don't see walking as a bad date either

[@garypierce7380]

Going for coffee on the patio of an old market area would be the perfect date. Who knows, if you hit it off you could walk over to a nice restaurant. If that goes well you could walk over to a club with live music or karaoke. If that goes well you could keep your pants on, kiss her goodnight and ask her out again.

[@Baby_ghost__b]

Hi, as a girl it's to be more safe. Of course it depends on the park but on bigger park everything is possible. Of course if you are on a budget tell her or go to a free "museum". Where I live we have some free cultural places that are cool. Sorry for my english, I'm french😊

[@JohnnyinCLE]

I must be old, old-fashioned, or both. I'm probably going to never understand "slide ins", because I even hate texting. But I also think that "ice breaking" is key in anything. Not that I'm on the market. The "pre-stalk" would render useless with me too, since I keep my "SocWeb" dry as cabernet. I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of others who are powder keg dry too, so I wonder if this backfires on women? As for 7-day deadline? This must be a dating app thing. Men, meet the lady. If you're a classic dater, you've already ice-broken these steps. Alright... The test? Women, you must realize something... YOU ARE BEING TESTED TOO. Dates require either symbiosis and/or syllogism. If you're too demanding? A diva? That's a deal-breaker. Both sides are trying to get a feel and common ground. As for "first dates"? Umm... Okay, but if we are talking traditional dating? This makes sense. If I did online dating? I'd actually want to meet the lady first, just to see if initial reads check out. I *do* understand why men want a coffee meet-up first, so as to see if an actual proper first date makes sense. The standards... Goes both ways. The lady in the video seems to act as if she's the only one grading. She strikes me as a bit of a Veruca Salt. Physical intimacy? She wouldn't have to worry, at least in my case. I am glad that it's working out well for her. ;-)

[@Fallen_angel917]

This is so unfortunate, yet it is true. To be a pure hearted person is not an easy thing, you have to bear a lot of pain and loneliness.

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

On the other hand, if you do hit the jackpot, your reward will be teaming up with another pure hearted person. So, unfortunately in your case, a lot of 'losses'. But when you do 'win' one day, you'll have a win-win situation 'cause the other person will want to be with you because of who you truly are. And not because you checked all the boxes. Cheers!✌

[@danimal4202danimal]

As a single guy myself, it's important to know how a few bad apples do give men a handicap in the dating world. Just like not everyone seen in public is a criminal, but we all still lock our home & car doors. That's where getting a meeting in real life is critical, and showing her she doesn't need to fear you so she knows you're not one of those bad apples.

[@neilt6480]

And the few bad apples aren't just the risk of SA. I'd say much of her list describes a basic level of decency that every guy should adhere to. Well, not the expensive first date. IMO that should just be a get to know you and whether there's enough mutual attraction to consider further dates. Oh, and the Energy stuff. Like Courtney said, I don't even know what she means by that, as everyone has a different opinion.

[@bros4654]

Hi Courtney. I appreciate the point-by-point response like this, followed by your brief summary. It makes it feel more like a conversation, a little more digestible. I think that the "list" was reasonable. I particularly appreciate that they describe behaviour as opposed to immutable characteristics. I don't appreciate the attitude. She acts like she's interviewing a subordinate intern, not vetting a partner. If her personality matches her persona on-camera.... Wow. No thanks. Regarding that initial message, for Men and women alike, make a point of giving the other person a hook to respond to. You don't need to write an essay, but give something that leads to some back and forth, not just a basic greeting. I would be really curious what she has to say about an actual relationship, beyond just the first date.

[@VaronPlateando]

As for the latter, I'd guess she obviously isn't getting anywhere close there. And that has to remain like that, hopefully no hopeless chump out of self-respect will fall for that scum.

[@RonaldLayman]

And If her account is private, leave her in the dust, claims of “safety” to hide online actions .

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Lol, and if they wanted to be “safe” they wouldn’t be a social media would they. That’s what I don’t understand when people say… a “safe space” online? That’s asinine… no such thing as a safe space online

[@dj-te5yj]

I always use something from the woman’s profile, if I can, to initiate conversations. If all she has in her profile is “ask me anything” then I just avoid those. Or if it’s just a laundry list of demands I avoid those too. Now I do try to initiate a meeting/date as quickly as possible to see if there’s a vibe and not waste each others time. I hate being this penpal thing and unfortunately a lot of women I’ve tried to talk to just want to chat forever and it just gets boring, and I’ve been ghosted after long chats. So if she’s not interested in meeting right away then I don’t risk wasting the time. And the first date thing is confusing. Some women say you’re “low value” if you invite her to a coffee date, but then others say a causal date is what they want. Women don’t have consistency so it’s a crap shoot. I’m not a fan of a big dinner date as the first date because I’ve been used for free meals and then blown off multiple times. Especially in here in LA, a lot of women have hot restaurants they want to visit and using some rando guy to pay for it is worth putting up with him for that free meal.

[@TruthProvider]

Exactly. Many women will use dating apps as a free meal ticket to get disposable Beta Brad to pay for her meals at fancy restaurants. Especially these days with the high cost of living expenses.

[@minimaxi6173]

The media stalking (not gender specific) is the most deranged thing about online dating. Why not ask the source itself, nah I'm gonna see what third parties think of them

[@ashfordj81]

It's an easier and more passive way to DQ you. Modern women are out on social media treating men like something off Amazon.

[@sikguitarist]

Her "standards" sound reasonable but you know damn well that Chad, Pookie and Ray Ray dont have to abide by them

[@ImAgentK]

Pookie and Ray Ray 😂

[@garypierce7380]

She’ll do a crying TikTok about how Pookie is pooking her but won’t commit.

[@TSierra]

I agree with her point about starting a conversation or sliding into the DM’s. Both men and women shouldn’t start a conversation with “hey” or “hi” it’ll be cool if they make it interesting and respectful.

[@Harrock]

11:06 " im in it for a Soft girl life ... not taking care of you" ...🤮🤮🤮 so many red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@rastalique8114]

She WILL NEVER SHOW APPRECIATION. Women like this are ENTITLED to Your resources and work.

[@robsolf]

"Don't expect physical intimacy" is fine. But it's funny how that can be pulled off the table, but that check just seems to be sitting there on the table expecting me to pick it up.

[@poeticeclipse]

Not even close to the same thing. So many men bitch and moan about body count but expect women to put out if they pay for a meal or a drink. If women just went around kissing any man that bought them something you’d think that was gross.

[@edheldude]

Yeah that's an ok rule if she has actually followed that. With her bodycount being between 50 and 100, I doubt it.

[@simontmn]

Have a cheap first date, happily pay, don't expect sex or even a kiss. The first date is just to see if you like her and most women find going Dutch a turn off.

[@Okunniger_Volker]

If a woman is not willing to be equal, then she's not. They wanted this right? Oh wait no go back to the kitchenaid housewife but not the pre industrial revolution housewife... Nah, I'm good.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

@@simontmn going dutch was women's idea though. It was never a thing until you all DEMANDED IT.

[@scottroman6941]

I came in expecting it to be a bunch of unrealistic standards. But I'd say these are all pretty reasonable. The masculine/feminine energy one was a little odd, but that seems like a very individual/case-by-case thing. Her delivery could be a little less harsh though. Felt like I was being yelled at.

[@hannahstriker]

I would not necessarily say that. The vast majority of women simply want to fill the "feminine role" while their man fills the "masculine" one. Courtney Ryan is the same way, as she has stated repeatedly.

[@nicksmith1313]

First date test as a guy: ask her to do something that's free. This usually weeds out the women who only see value in your money. A walk in the park was probably my best first date.

[@vmonk1474]

When my wife and I first started dating, she wanted to know if I had a decent job and could hold it. I showed her that's the case. I'm not a millionaire with a different car for every day of the week, but I make our mortgage, pay most of the bills, and can afford for us to have an enjoyable life. 😁 The 6' tall millionaire is unrealistic, but I don't blame a woman for making sure a guy is responsible and isn't a mooch.

[@ElTheJono]

Reasonable list, entitled delivery. Would not date based on this video.

[@megane0912]

I know dating apps are the easier place to find someone, but personally I prefer going out a lot until I meet someone 😂 only on daytime though.

[@connie0613]

❤

[@britneyt9253]

where do you go?

[@marus3953]

It's crazy how meeting people is like a chore. The level of entitlement of these people are through the roof. Now I know that I always have to say Hi or Hello cause their reaction would tell me signs of red flags.

[@Focusembedded]

I like her "ten things on the first date" list -- except for her not doing a cup of coffee, since I like those, too. Mostly what she's saying about "be a gentleman" dovetails nicely with her behavior, provided she knows how to be a lady. As a man, I pay particularly close attention to how a first date interacts with the waitstaff. How she treats them is how she'll ultimately treat me. The fastest way to spot an entitled, narcissistic woman is to see her be rude to a server. Additionally, when I get done paying the bill in its entirety, if I don't hear her say, "Thank you," she's toast. That's a big red flag for female entitlement. If she can't express gratitude for a simple thing, even if it's expected on a first date, you know you're going to be with a woman who's impossible to please. And every time I messed with one of those, I found a woman who was monkeybranching. I try not to laugh when that woman misses the grab on the next branch and falls all the way to the jungle floor. But I'm not always successful at suppressing my snickers of schadenfreude . And people who can't be kind or express gratitude have built into their psyches all of the elements of self-inflicted misery. And no emotionally healthy person wants to be in any kind of relationship with that kind of person.

[@TheCasualHazeFox]

Courtney, I must say that I love your videos and you've never once given me any reason or said anything that has made me feel less respectful towards you. You are a superb woman by my standards. Keep doing your videos. They're very helpful seeing as how I am a guy and have constantly been in a situation where me just being nice and kind to women that they think I am into them / want to be with them. It infuriates me that so many women I've found think that just because a man or myself is being very kind and respectful and talkative with them that they immediately think I am just trying to get with them. Friendly guys that actually enjoying talking with women I find are either being flagged as potentially gay men or only being nice to get into their pants. This is the primary reason I've stopped being so outwardly kind and respectful towards women because of the attitudes they show me after they realize they completely read the situation of my mannerisms wrong. Even if it was what they are used to, I do think a lot of women need to realize there are just some dudes like myself that enjoy conversation with someone other than another guy. I believe you are perhaps one of the better women online that I've seen that would comprehend this facet about relationships between strangers that are generally friendly with people vs the guys just trying to hookup or weasel themselves into a position.

[@lonniecrawford6991]

Her list is pretty much the same advice that all the online dating sites that I have looked at give. I think that it is also interesting that it is basically just a list of her expectations to get a first or second date. While a few of these expectations almost certainly will carry on into an actual relationship, most are really only applicable to the initial contact and in-person meeting.

[@Swearengen1980]

The gentlemanly related items should never hurt. Don't stop getting creative with dates or opening doors. It's astonishing how often I'm out and see people clearly on dates and the guys have zero manners.

[@tann_man]

@@Swearengen1980 Manners are not rewarded. Toxicity is. If you examine the behavior and not their words women are very clear about this

[@aboutdoorsman4695]

This woman makes it really easy to want to have nothing to do with her. She comes across as the prize and is expected to be bowed down to. She has a princess mentality.

[@GoldenMushroom64]

Let’s just be honest my guy. Just look at these women. I’m not saying physical beauty is everything, it’s not. But women are called the “fairer sex” for a reason. Assuming they’re a decent human being, they are the prize.

[@aboutdoorsman4695]

@@GoldenMushroom64 well let’s agree to disagree then.

[@michaelgoebel9370]

​@@GoldenMushroom64Looks only get you so far.

[@brianthesnail3815]

From a very young age I advised my sons never to put more than bare minimum personal information on social media. They paid attention and have never done it because we told them employers would look at it and stalk them before and during recruitment. They don't do dating apps either because they know how that works as well.

[@lifesIronyboard]

When I stated dating in the 1980s and before that as a young boy, a man was considered a good provider when he had a stable job that kept a roof overhead, food on the table and clothes on the family's back. It was about making sure the family never went without the necessities of life when economic times got rough. When did that change to supporting a lavish lifestyle. Most of the families of my friends and my own rarely went on exotic vacations or even ate out for that matter. Oddly enough most were pretty happy.

[@poeticeclipse]

Did the girl in the video say she wanted exotic vacations? I’m confused

[@scottmcnabb9122]

I think a coffee date is more like it first meeting . Just in case it doesn't workout . I get what she says but she does scare me a little alot of demands . So my question what is she bringing to the plate .

[@Mercy1-]

Sex hopefully it's not bad 😂

[@drip369]

It's funny though because basic men would be the 80% of men that aren't visible yet the vast majority of women or average or just below average and they will end up alone because they think average men are basic. I don't blame them, I wouldn't want a sickly lazy video game playing incompetent emotional overgrown teenage boy myself

[@blueodum]

As has been said - go long cat food companies.

[@NemesisLex]

The vibes im getting from her … i have an idea, why she has a list for alllllll the dates she needs to find someone.

[@NemesisLex]

Okay … „it worked for years for me“ - guess she will need that list for a little bit longer 😅

[@tharukkus]

Ms Ryan, YOU can vouch for this chick all you want. I will not overlook other things she said; She EXPECTS (expensive) dinner on the 1st date (I had already picked up on that when she said walks are a "no"). Also by mentioning "don't be rude to waiters" was a giveaway as well (The funny thing about THAT is it's usually FEMALES who are the rude ones and it's the guys making the apologies). The other thing is if this "strategy" has been working for her for the past year, why oh why is she still out here dating? Hmm? Sounds like she's a professional "1st dater" just to clock free expensive meals. If she honestly thinks this is "working wonders" for her, then is she really someone who's advice we should be following? Just a thought. (Also isn't it amazing how females NEVER speak on what THEIR bare minimum effort is? Can you do a video about that for us?)

[@traelee684]

I 1000 percent agree with you.

[@mohamedh4782]

This is honestly too accurate. The sad part is she uploaded this herself thinking she did something helpful when really all she did was make herself look 10x less attractive

[@elfascisto6549]

The topic of the tiktok video isn't about what SHE had to offer. Also, neither of the sexes makes videos out of the blue just talking about what they have to offer, that sounds super desperate. Also, you literally have no idea how that girl's dating life is, all you're doing is treating your assumptions like it's fact. How long do you think a man would spend dating until he found a high value woman ? High value men are also very rare and not everyone is willing to put up with temporary meaningless relatinships Lastly; "females" ... really ? Are you aware of what referring to women as "females" makes you look like ?

[@tpespos]

Men are human too, they can be rude to waiters too. Not being mean is not the point you want to pick out

[@michaelsix9684]

@@mohamedh4782 I'm out once she opened her mouth, she is demanding, rigid , and borderline narcissistic

[@chrislister570]

I don't anything here unreasonable, but I'd like to respond to a few points: first, just as a man in general: we are the expected to make an immediate financial commitment on the first date. This is fine when the date leads to more. But many first dates don't, as either or both people may decide they're not interested in anything further. This is no loss for the woman who didn't have to pay for anything, but for the man who had to pay for an expensive venue and meal, all these first dates add up quickly. And second as a neurodiverse person: the expectation that the man has to be the one to make the first move, plan the date, and maintain eye contact and focus and avoid getting distracted. I understand why this seems like a reasonable expectation, but most people don't understand why these expectations are extremely challenging for neurodiverse people.

[@CLU10123]

Sometimes I feel like I just want to have a normal conversation, so I have a tendency to be sometimes generic originally. I realize this isn’t ideal. However, I also feel overwhelmed at times having to always feel like I’m presenting something entertaining, new, or refreshing on the fly, and I don’t understand why people are afraid of something ordinary at first. At times it just makes me feel like people don’t want to put in the work to get to know me just because it was difficult at first. Does anyone else feel this way or struggle with this?

[@nathanMasters7654]

I dont know if anyone else feels this way, but here it goes. When girl spend so much time thinking about these list, it becomes harder harder to live up to the scenarios they create in their heads. The expectations are acceptable, the hard part is knowing you being judged on 100 different things, none of which have one right answer. If you're too polite, you fail, not polite enough, you fail. Talk too much fail, dont talk enough fail. Each of those 100 things is being judged on a scale of 1 - 10, which means i have 900 ways to get it wrong and only 10% to get it right.

[@discofoot6443]

I'm sure a lot of guys share the same situation. I understand wanting the sliding into DM, the need to create a unique message based on her profile. But here's the thing, do women understand how exhausting it is to do that countless times, create a greeting message tailored to their profile only to not receive a response back? I get it, I understand women will have an overabundant amount of guys DM'ing her... but I tend to have better results when I put less effort in and play the numbers game instead of creating custom messages tailored based on every individual profile. The problem with most women in dating, especially the person Courtney is reacting to.... they're always so good about, "Do this for me! I expect this! ME! ME! ME!" But do they ever think about what value they could give? So far I haven't heard anything in the video about what the woman would do in return..

[@KyleConnell-if3zn]

I did not have too much of an issue with the creator's list (other than her saying she would not say thank you to someone for buying dinner or holding a door open). The issue I have with lists though is that it hyper focuses us so that if you make one mistake, if your walking side my side with a woman and don't run ahead to open the door or do not properly thank the services staff because it is a busy time and they are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, it gives the person an excuse to end the interaction. I think this sort of expectation of perfection is encouraged by having these lists without any sort of grace or forgiveness of small missteps.

[@Swearengen1980]

In that extreme example of not having the time to thank someone, the intent is clear and it's unlikely a woman with what are more or less old fashioned values would hold against you. She said it abrasively, but her list is mostly pretty old fashioned. Obviously she's frustrated with the lack of gentleman who know how to treat a woman. It's absurdly hyperbolic to say that very basic list is "expectation of perfection". Some of that is shit my parents raised me to do for anyone and everyone since I was a little kid. The fact that you (and most others here) think being creative and acting like a gentleman are unrealistic expectations, this says far more about you than it does her.

[@KyleConnell-if3zn]

@@Swearengen1980 Thanks for the input! I agree that holding doors for dates and everyone else is a good thing to do. I not agree that you or I or anyone else in the world has never failed to hold open a door in their life on a date or otherwise. It doesn't mean you are not aware of the gesture or believe it is not chivalrous, there could have been a million reasons why you did not. I just think there is a bit more nuisance than they way she presented it. If a person does not hold open a door, is it because they are discourteous or because they were putting on their jacket or were thinking of what to say next and nervous about the interaction? I especially was not a fan of her point that these chivalrous gestures of holding open a door and paying for dinner do not warrant a thank you as they are the minimum. I just think the idea of lists pushes out any idea of nuisance and real world actions. Not always, but it can create a mindset of if this person does not do every single right in our first interactions, even if they did not intend to or the circumstances prevented it, he is a walking red flag. Yes a person can avoid this as you said by interpreting the situation but when women are combing through the many men they are talking to and going on dates with it might just be easier to quickly check the list without any context. I appreciate the thoughts!

[@Swearengen1980]

@@KyleConnell-if3zn She is absolutely dead wrong that it doesn't warrant a thank you. It should come out of a person's mouth without them even thinking about it. But for all these isolated tiktoks that mean label all women by, I've never once been on a date where a woman didn't thank me. Not once. You're also wrong in assuming that every woman has a roster she's talking to. Guys can't complain that women are too picky AND that she has a giant roster at the same time. Maybe you all just live in giant, crappy, liberal cities to get these experiences. I live in a medium sized very liberal city, but I still have no problem finding conservative christian women who take dating seriously and are overall good women. The issues I see constantly being whined about in these comments I never have. I assume that's because I'm an actual man, unlike these petulant children. They all act entitled to a hot woman just falling into their lap without them having to do anything. They're every bit as bad as the women they complain about. No introspection or self analysis, no concept of reality. Mostly Gen Z and Millennials. I swear this country is doomed with the absurd amount of stupidity and delusion with each passing generation. No wonder Gen Z can't get laid, just a bunch of pansies.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

@@Swearengen1980 Maybe if she said thank you like a lady would and acted appreciative instead of like a spoiled princess, more men would be holding doors open for her. I always hold the doors open for the women I'm in contact with, and I always take note of which ones appreciate the gesture and which act like B's about it. Guess which women I'll be happy to continue being a gentleman for on an ongoing basis....

[@ewam.3808]

I think there is a lot of talk about who is paying for a dinner not enough about how much money women need to spend on looking "all natural" on a date. Even this girl, you can say to much make up but she is very intentional about her look, nice manicure, perfect simple gold chain, matching shirt, the color of the shirt is natural (intentionally), shinny hair, perfect color of her lipstick. By the time you add all of this - a dinner is cheaper than what she has invested in herself.

[@seanodonnell429]

I usually ask out a girl after an only a couple of days of chatting online. By then, I feel like we know enough about each other to feel comfortable meeting in person. Some say yes, and some say “Could we wait to meet up in person? I would like to just get to know you better.” Usually I am patient and understanding if I really like them, but it can be frustrating. If you want to get to know me better, that’s what a first date is for. I don’t want to be your pen pal.

[@lolwhatever7307]

Not gonna lie, her list totally makes sense. After all we all have cerrain standarts and its not like she has something outrageous there

[@Jonathan-vo9dx]

This is interesting. When Courtney agrees with her, I accept it and respect it because Courtney is sincere, respectful, emotionally considerate, and intentionally cares about us. When the other woman says these things, I completely disagree because she is not sincere, not respectful, does not care about our emotions and does not have good intentions for us. It's amazing how both say the same things but one of them I will agree with and the other I will fight on every turn. Let this be a lesson. Show your date respect!

[@UnconventionalReasoning]

Every single thing she said are things which Courtney has said in videos about 'being a good man'. A different tone, but that matches the visual difference of how each woman did their make-up.

[@dadteaches]

Loyalty and respect shouldn't ever be given without being earned; start with 0 and go up or down from there. Going in with these two items is setting yourself up for feeling like you failed when the person earns negative strikes on the first date.

[@aijoe3]

I find the girl's 2nd point interesting because i had a conversation with two buddies of mine mentioning that it isnt a good look to follow multiple instagram models profiles especially if you are single. One of boys is married and he made it a point after our conversation to unfollow multiple/100s of pages. Just thankful i was able to unplug him from the matrix hahaha

[@devilsadvocacy]

Also it is easy enough on IG to make a burner account for that sort of stuff

[@norbs4004]

11:45 I'm along the lines of wanting to date modern women, splitting 50/50. Of course, the dates I'll pay for, lol. But this traditional women thing isn't for me. Times are tough with inflation, and the girl I'm dating once we get more serious is going to have to help provide financially. That's just me.

[@billcutting6287]

Honestly, her list is pretty reasonable and it’s kinda the minimum. There’s just the first message thing that would be difficult for me. But, it’s also the way she said it that make it look worst than it really is.

[@plurby1703]

Guys - the fix is to stop enabling women online. Get off the computer, get off of Insta, Facebook, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Go out and make eye contact with women and talk to them in person. This girl feels and acts powerful because of her ONLINE presence ("wow so many men message me"), but still drives a used VW (if she even has a drivers license), rents a flat, has 5 to 6 figure debt, and really has no skills to speak of. Men, stop giving these women any power or attention. Take back the power that is rightfully yours.

[@ciao2315]

The pre-stalk! We all do it…😂

[@tommygunn6901]

I do it cause I'm Batman

[@AJarOfYams]

So, opening doors for a lady is okay now? Great, I can finally express some gallantry again. And thank you for mentioning the "two-way street" when sliding into DMs 🙏

[@garypierce7380]

It’s always been ok. A few loudmouths don’t make something true.

[@blueballoonbabooncartoon05]

Have all the standards and deal breakers you want, but then don't whine if you end up alone.

[@Aioneko]

I think that the current dating market requires a 'pre-first date' meet up if you meet online. There are so many people out there that just don't align and meeting people online is rough and misses out that first in person interaction to build real attraction. There should be a casual first meet up before the first date to get a feel for if you want a first date. Then when you have the first date, you know to put your A game on. This pre-first date meet up replaces that whole meeting a person in person and getting a feel for their energy. You don't want to get to a first date meet up, suddenly realize you do not mesh very early and are committed to a big date. I think this would save a lot of people time and money and eliminate some of the tensions and misunderstandings of expectations.

[@alexmcleod9997]

That video was a lot more reasonable than I had expected it to be. Whenever I see these reaction videos I always expect the worst but this one was spot on

[@t.r.everstone7]

Same here. The only possible issue I saw was with her "soft girl life" comment. Notice how she didn't say she wanted to be a mother or stay-at-home wife. Her word choice was deliberate and sounds like she might be wanting a sugar daddy more than a relationship. But she also never explicitly said she refuses to cook and clean and such. So I can give her a little benefit of doubt since I shiuldn't assume. I just know it sounds bad. Everything else she said is honestly how I'd want an intelligent woman to vet guys, including me.

[@atty15]

Hi Courtney. Now that we know the list of acceptable expectations women are allowed to reasonably have. I would love a video on what the reasonable expectations a man is allowed to have. Something tells me women will scoff at that list, but have no problem with their own. That is the fundamental disconnect as I see it.

[@Gaborik560]

You can't make this shit up - Kevin Samuels

[@Kthomasritchie]

The woman in the video has an over inflated value of herself. The problem is, there's too many weak men who desperately want to please her.

[@drip369]

That's funny because girls that look like her that would get a genuine message but look at it and think that's too much this guy's trying to heart he must have nothing to offer but when Chad says sup she immediately drops her phone from the excitement and then it slides away from her from the puddling. I start with hey because it's a really good vibe check to see if they are friendly or not

[@drip369]

I guess in Courtney's case she was actually looking for a relationship but these young girls are more concerned with having fun and ruining their futures I don't waste your time writing her a poem, although I will say, if you can find something in her profile to make a joke about or to compound on top of, definitely do that

[@justinmartin1666]

Happy 😃 Friday

[@CourtneyRyan]

Same to you!

[@tylerp.8352]

I think the reason it came off as off-putting despite saying nothing unreasonable, is because she was making demands to facilitate her femininity in a very masculine way. Facilitating femininity is a lot more resource-taxing than facilitating masculinity, so it just vibes as disingenuous. Someone with masculine energy wanting to be pampered as if she was feminine just comes off as ‘GIMME that because I’m a princess’

[@VarsVerum]

It's not so much her list that bothered me, but the tone in which she delivered it. I can't really explain why but it felt almost like I was being lectured, whereas your intercuts felt like you were having a conversation with the viewer. Her expectations were honestly in line with common sense, but her *delivery* of it made it feel like she's meticulously docking points off every minor mistake any potential dating candidate makes like it's a (in her own words) test.

[@lucidjamesofficial]

This lady is gonna be single forever.

[@connie0613]

I don’t think so, she seems very put together and confident!

[@stevec3526]

@@connie0613 No, she comes off as entitled, self centered, and too masculine. The very thing MEN don't like and avoid.

[@becca53444]

The idea of online dating scares me, but if I ever actually tried it… I would not want to go out with the person until we’ve video-chatted multiple times and talked for weeks first. Have to make sure the guy isn’t a catfish or a serial killer first. It would freak me out if they wanted to meet right away when I know nothing about them. Safety is huge.

[@garypierce7380]

They say Ted Bundy seemed like a nice guy to all his victims.

[@blueodum]

You're never going to know a guy is or isn't a serial killer until it is too late. Those dudes are usually highly skilled manipulators.

[@jasono2139]

If you've still been "dating" and have had the time to make a video about how "amazing" your dating strategy has been working... it likely hasn't.

[@stevensaleh6955]

Daytime first date facilitates friendship. I only do evening dates - it's naturally more romantic even if no alcohol involved.

[@josesantana770]

No women think of a day date as an intimate encounter. It might happen though

[@sleepfighter]

Don’t tell men what to say with the “You’re better than that” shaming and manipulation

[@rogerbritus9378]

"Yes, I am. Thanks for reminding me that I shouldn't be wasting my valuable time with you."