dating updates (its not good) + a few days in my life | VLOG

[@chauntelleroston153]

I love the rant videos🤣 it's so relatable. It's rough out there, lol

[@susanbroker980]

Girl my dating life is in absolute shambles, I resonated so much with all of the things you were saying and just know you’re def not alone. You deserve to have your expectations met. Any guy would be lucky to have you, don’t forget how special you are🫶🏻 thank you for sharing and making me feel like I’m not alone in the nightmare dating scene 😅

[@CarolineBloomer97]

Just remember, the person you’re looking for IS out there! Let it happen organically. Keep on with doing the motions of life of going to the gym, work spaces, coffee shops, clubs, bars. The person you’re looking for is also looking for someone just like YOU. The best love comes unexpectedly ❤ Mutual friends is also a great way to meet someone, just keep putting yourself out there!

[@lifestylewithleira]

Tika girl🥺💕 love your guys’ adventures - don’t stress on the guy front. When things are truly meant to be, they fall into place so easily. Focusing on you and your routine is the best thing for you! Enjoy the rest of your summer❤️

[@lparmeter]

You deserve to have your expectations heard. For example you saying "Lets touch base by Tuesday night, my weeks tend to book up quickly and I'm looking forward to this" would probably be well received. ❤

[@Jojo-k8b]

Except touch base has to be the least sexy phrase in existence 😭

[@mandy8648]

I’ve been single for 7 years. I don’t put myself out there. I don’t go on dates. I’ve never been on a dating app. I’m 31. My life is super peaceful. But eventually I know I’m gonna have to like take some chances and go out on some dates to meet people. Your experience has made me realize that I may not even get to the date part of getting to know someone. 😅 but at least you’re still open to the idea of meeting someone.

[@stephb5543]

The zoom in on Tika was too funny hahaha “here goes mom and her dating life again” ❤😂

[@KyraSchaeffer]

I was about to say the same thing 😂 that side-eye was so funny

[@kwychau]

Completely feel this with dating. I realized I was going on dating apps for the little boost of serotonin when someone would match. Have deleted it as well and protecting my peace to see if something organic happensssssss

[@jennb1587]

I haven’t done this yet but once I get back on dating apps I’m going to add “the best way to ask me out… asking to dinner drinks atleast 2 days in advance, and confirm day of”. That way the expectations are clear… I’ve heard from a friend she had better success with that. I’ve been single for 5 years now and go back and forth on my desire to date, I do want to meet someone but I don’t love dating apps, but I’m also introverted and don’t go out much. Sighhh

[@dyshawnshine3644]

dating apps work for some but its the way people were meant to meet. this is why it has a low success rate unless you want to just hook up. its not a natural thing.

[@kyletaylor8821]

I don't know how any guy in their right mind could ghost you. I mean seriously. You're levelheaded, on top of your health, you seem to be doing well for yourself with your career, and you are absolutely gorgeous. I would be honored, as a man, and excited, to take you out and create a great evening with you. Probably would need to get on a plane first lol but yeah.

[@LyslScentedLife]

Exactly! I was shocked when she said that the guy didn't even text her yet. He's obviously not desperate, but still, it's kinda strange.

[@dyshawnshine3644]

because these men have many may options just like her or better. you cant fathom this but trust me there's a select group of men out there that have it like that. shes a dime a dozen. most of them only want these guys and that's why they have it so good and treat them like nothing.

[@dyshawnshine3644]

@@LyslScentedLife its not strange when you have an abundance of options lol its exactly why he has the leverage to do that. the men that will break their neck to be around her she doesn't want for obvious reasons. this is an endless cycle for them.

[@truthseeker4084]

Several reasons, has a girlfriend, is an asshole and does it on purpose, is too shy to go through with it, has mental health issues, cant communicate, doesnt care, is busy, etc. None of these reasons should matter to anyone as its deeply personal and has nothing to do with her.

[@AznixxBabii]

I've been watching you since you first dyed your hair dark like ten years ago, but I think it's my first time commenting (: I recently started bingeing your videos again and this vlog actually made me giggle when you were venting about your dating struggles LOL I feel like lately or maybe especially after the pandemic? that typical communication and the dating scene isn't the same as it used to be. I definitely think you deserve to be with someone who matches your standards of communication tho. Don't lose hope!! It's better to dodge the bullet from the beginning than to waste your time down the road, IMO.

[@nne-nneabanobi]

Totally relate! I'm glad it's not just me. Always talk on the phone first. Avoid making blind dates through text messages only. A voice conversation can help you weed out a lot of people. Hang in there, girl! God bless. ☺️❤️🙏🏿

[@ashleyrose2652]

I was single for 7 years and hated dating. But a month before I found my partner I started saying "Universe, show me how good it gets". It changed the energy I was holding and I was finally in a place to receive my person. Your man is coming!

[@Megan_Love_333]

Melissa, I hope you get the chance to read this. Talk about divine timing of your video. I just wanted to say Thankyou for briefly talking about your dating experience and your thoughts at the very end of the clip. I recently just went through a breakup and it was a hard pill to swallow.. it’s harder when he was the one that was good to you in the relationship but he’s going through mental stuff that I can’t be there to help him when you want to be there for someone. I think it’s hard trying to bounce back from pouring back into yourself and protecting your peace and heart like you said. Nonetheless something about you talking about expectations, dating, etc. I get it..and watching this is giving me comfort I’m not alone and how can I work on me and focus back on myself. Thanks again Melissa ❤️❤️❤️

[@MelissaMerk]

thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your breakup. sending love ❤ :)

[@vanessastraface]

I haven’t watched this yet but the title has killed me 🤣 “(it’s not good)” LOL

[@she_goes_simply]

A very hard truth that took me years to realize: you will not find what you're looking for when you're trying too hard. I think the peaceful, feel-good state you got to is exactly how you should feel when you're meeting a significant other. As frustrating as it sounds, the best things start organically (not looking to start a comment war, just my experience!) - when you're vibrating at your highest, the right vibrational person will come into the picture. I love watching your vlogs and how much you get up to - you will inevitably meet someone who's out there just existing right now, that you could've never imagined or found on a dating app. I truly believe this for you!!!!

[@MelissaMerk]

I wasn't looking at all 😂

[@sosimplystellar]

Your man is out there Melissa, just let it happen :) all these men that have frustrated you by ghosting or whatnot are just the noise before the real deal. Hang in there!

[@dis-springs]

And now all I want is to see that first edit! 😜

[@shancook]

Love your vlogs and when you talk about these topics because it’s soo relatable! 🥺 sending you a big hug, I know it’s frustrating! He’s out there and when you find him/he finds you it’ll all be worth it 💕

[@Kayleefromkansas]

I am cracking up at “I like that they come with a referral” 😂

[@stephanielake11]

I’m sorry you’re going through these strange dating situations. Give yourself a pat on the back for putting yourself out there & at least trying your best. You are very courageous!! In time the right person will step into your life. Have you tried writing a list of what you want in a “husband to be”?? List how you wanted to be treated & feel….the qualities you want in him, lifestyle & etc. Make a vision board of the life you want with him. **Also does your friends have any amazing brothers, cousins, relatives that are amazing men? Sending you so much love & positive energy from Toronto!!💕💕💕

[@ivarezo]

Lovee your talks, updates and experience on dating and life general 😁❤️ great vlog, keep the faith live laugh and enjoy.

[@chrisdahlgren4064]

Tika is the cutest little thing❤

[@MelissaMerk]

🐶 ❤️

[@SovereignSelf2095]

Be more forward about picking a day for the date! And maybe don’t get your hopes up until you’re physically at the table together 🙃

[@danilishus]

Aw the way the dogs were walking together 😂🥹🥹

[@msninachou]

That is frustrating for sure!! I am the same as well. If someone says they will reach out and set a date, I expect a response! I truly believe if a guy is interested in you and is serious about dating, they will reach out and be proactive. Don’t waste your time on these losers. I have faith your person is still out there and is feeling the same way! ❤

[@katrinacool]

You definitely deserve better than these inconsiderate males. Your words are your bond. I know it gets frustrating but as you said you can't change someone's behavior. Tika is absolutely adorable- lots of hugs! 😊🦩😍🌴❤️☀️☺️🥰❤️🥰

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

But if a guy texts her and shows interest she rejects him and ghosts because they come across as desperate.

[@diariesofagirlabroad]

like your perspective on dating - you go girl 🔥

[@NikLewisReads]

Ok I know you’ve said that you go to a women’s gym but I would recommend a co-ed gym! I meet so many nice guys at the gym organically and then there is a built in common interest of fitness right away. I’m married haha so I feel bad and have to awkwardly mention my husband and I think guys are finding it hard to meet quality women as well. I feel like the art of socializing in public has been taking a nose dive for the last 5 years and nobody knows what to do. I always enjoy your authenticity in your videos, been watching for a really long time! 💛☀️

[@jumpshot3606]

I have to say an issue with meeting guys at the gym is for some reason (maybe more obvious than not) there is a high concentration of men who are all about physical beauty/looks and are constantly staring at every woman who walks through there. The few times I have met people there I very quickly realized that they only liked how I looked and didn't care to know much more about me. Often, they continued to have wandering eyes for every other woman there.

[@NikLewisReads]

@@jumpshot3606 I totally get what you’re saying and it is an interesting perspective. I may just be lucky with a pretty good gym community because I haven’t had that experience. Most people at my gym are average people just trying to stay healthy but don’t seem to be into looks more than the next person but a lot of that could depend on the city and other factors for sure.

[@dyshawnshine3644]

@@jumpshot3606 thats most men, its just more obvious at the gym lol

[@alynmercyshow]

Girl!!! I 1000000% relate to the dating sentiment. That “eeekkk ughhhh” frustration feeling is the worst!! Same reason I took a few months off. Getting back into it now, but it is dismal days out here 😫

[@sallytemraz8614]

You are not alone in this dating drama. Literally we are all living the same thing, frustration and disappointment. Yes we cannot put pressure to others, but there's something undoubtedly annoying about men who doesn't follow through what they said they are going to do. Not even going from date 1 to 2 - although they said "they'd like to do this again and you are so beautiful" So there's nothing wrong about you or your expectations , this is now a global epidemic. Love from Istanbul

[@espressoyourself8679]

Omg sameeeeeeeee with what you said in the beginning ❤❤

[@TheActiveGamers]

omg finally I'm early. Love your vids Melissa. Keep it up.

[@bugdrawsportraits]

omg the shorts you were wearing on the beach 😍

[@ervinsmoviecorner8748]

Love this one, Melissa!❤

[@faribahaditaghi2588]

I hear you … very frustrating when men don’t follow through with their promises … And when it happens over n over …

[@jessin3807]

the moment i stopped actively looking for a partner was the moment i meet my now husband. don't lose hope. it comes when least excepted. i know how cliche that sounds but yes focus on yourself and everything else will fall into place

[@BootsBauer-tq4uu]

Yay on you for not doing last minute plan w/ said dude🙌🏽

[@DanaFind201]

I really miss the podcast 😢! It was so good!

[@MelissaMerk]

It’s coming back, just took a break :)

[@ic3482]

It’s not a date until a date is set, so I don’t even think about it until that happens. Enjoy your life and don’t let any men get to you! 🙂

[@kathleenharrison9189]

Your makeup looks lovely xx

[@raevin.]

Oh God, me too. This city is a nightmare. Time to be single for awhile 😅. Great topic, so many of us are experiencing the same stuff

[@MelissaMerk]

seems like a pretty common experience unfortunately 😅

[@Starship_X]

@@MelissaMerk what do you think is going on with men these days? is it the apps, the economy? maybe they don't want to date, just sleep around?

[@danicalelliott4858]

I love when you post ♥You live an inspiring life and your taste in music!!! What is that song you were groovin to?

[@salqubeq5203]

Dont worry you will be fine. After 35 it does slow down for women in the market specially because the make-up doesnt work as well. Just chillax and expect dating life to go slow in the future!

[@daniellagirl]

How do you get your dog not to get ticks or anything ?

[@FitChickGlows]

Oh my! I feel you Melissa! You deserve SO much better!! I say, go to Europe. The men in Canada are cold hearted. Basically short attention span narcissists, unfortunately. And you don’t want to date them anyway. There’ll cause too much grief if the dating “works” out. My hairdresser once said (God bless hairdressers! Lol!) Best to find out their dweebs right at the beginning so you don’t waste anytime or heartache or worse. But it sure can give you “dating ghosting” ptsd for sure especially if it’s repetitive. It can leave you on edge for communicating. Europe or the South (a great commenter here also said the South too) is the way to go. For example, woman of color are going to Europe with great outcomes. They even have special tour group vacations for woman of color for specifically this. North America is not the best for them, unfortunately. It’s just a reality. Definitely try Europe. Hugs!! 🤗💕

[@reipus]

What is tikka leash ❤❤❤

[@alexiscormier7225]

gurl... I feel ya! 🤯

[@chiplease]

I find this kind of wishy washy behaviour from friends to be annoying too, tbh. Sorry you had to deal with that again, and appreciate your positive outlook towards the end. We really can't expect people to handle things the way we would!

[@denaeb5897]

Ypu deserve sooo much better

[@Julia-it4ly]

need to know what lip product you're wearing in the beginning of the video!! You're glowing :)

[@MelissaMerk]

Summer Fridays lip balm, the pink sugar one

[@Julia-it4ly]

@@MelissaMerk thank you!💓💓

[@chelseamarie5567]

Why is the next morning too last minute?

[@crisramcas4726]

Can you share your cookies recipe?

[@Margaret_Hemenway]

Can you please share your recent favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe?

[@LyslScentedLife]

Oh wow! I actually found a cute girl who sincerely cares for a partner! It's surprising but also refreshing!

[@truthseeker4084]

A relationship like that will never work. Playing games will never work. When you keep attracting those guys and have the need to be mysterious, you will set yourself up for a lot of pain and loneliness. A man who wants you doesnt want you for your mysteriousness, they want you for YOU. Being authentic attracts the right guy. Playing games will not help at all, how will you raise children together or live together when you always have to hide a side of you.

[@Quinn-l9j]

As a woman who is basically old enough to be your mom, I want to say, put yourself out there a bit. Maybe you could have messaged that acquaintance of a friend and said "Hey, let's meet up," and then left the ball in his court to follow through. If at that point you receive no response, move on. I think as women we get so caught up in letting the man chase 100% but this kind of strategy could really help you, especially if you're particularly interested in a guy. Show him you're truly interested and want to see him.

[@1988Allnatural]

nailed it, reciprocation. Don't leave it to the man to do everything. Make it known that you're open/interested and then it's up to him to setup a fun date. Don't instantly put a guy down because he didn't follow through on some made up timeline you wanted him to.

[@AndrewFrey-l4t]

Nice dog ❤

[@Nancy2420s]

Dating is not the SAME since forever. ... since earlier 2000's sad but true

[@nadinekohl]

Men today with dating app culture 🙄 they have this idea that there is always something bigger and better out there instead of actually being vulnerable and really getting to know someone. Random quote but I heard someone on a podcast say, “I know in my bones he’s out there, he’s just taking longer to get to me”. I like this because it makes me think about how timing is a key part in meeting the right person.

[@dyshawnshine3644]

thats really women lol theres many men that don't get any women AT ALL. 80% of men on apps don't get hardly any matches. while most women do get some if not several. keep thinking its men and the problem will only get worse.

[@crystalbennett249]

Your word means nothing - that is a good one 👍

[@elisestarday6372]

I am dealing with ghosting myself where a guy acts all interested and then not a word again. Dating is becoming a sh*** hole now days. Nobody has proper dating etiquette 😢. I feel like dsting around your area isn't great so you may have to look farther in your region. On my end, I've noticed if i can't find anybody locally than "elsewhere" it is...:/

[@ilovemakeupforeveful]

okay does anyone know what kind of dog tika is because i need one

[@MelissaMerk]

she's a mini Aussie!

[@msnymin5923]

12:57❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Th3h3kka]

I wish it was a private group chat 😂

[@samlab2935]

god ! i feel u😅

[@manfredbismark6688]

Thumb up driving with Melissa! Rudi.

[@lizfranco1522]

In my opinion is better to go wrong since the beginning than later. Those men are showing their true colors since day 1. Not being that interested, not putting any effort... is good to not start with anyone like that.

[@lsharp28]

with peace and love, switch to the dark side and go for girls, trust.

[@danic1806]

I think you need to live in Europe for a few months. Vancouver/Canadian men are clueless.

[@Alikhantanoli-yf6mo]

Hey

[@EmmettDoesStuff_YT]

Sending you care

[@sharrod.r]

"i do believe there's good men out there, i just don't know where they are" ...smh. There's PLENTY of men out there that would treat you good, but you treat them like they're invisible if they're not over 6 feet, extremely good looking, and with a lot of money. You girls need to stop saying you can't find a good man, and start saying you can't find a Chad, cuz that's clearly all you're looking for...

[@dyshawnshine3644]

1st comment Ive seen with some logic lol all these other guys. " who would ghost you?" "how could he do that" they don't realize the men she goes for has many many just like her and doesn't care if he links with her or not. he has 10 more in his phone and another 20 in his DMs

[@mikhalt1]

there are good guys out there; we just dont use dating apps anymore. I go in person community events/church, gym events for dating now. Im dealing with the same stuff on the apps. Good luck

[@olimpiahillmore]

💛❤

[@slsmith-xp2hq]

Have Steven find you someone 😂

[@lisastjohn5075]

If a man is interested you’ll know. Don’t waste your energy trying to figure out guys, waste of time

[@Jojo-k8b]

1000%. They won't let a day go by without letting you know they are interested. Not a day.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

And if he shows interest you’ll reject him because his interest was 3.5% too much and he comes across as desperate or not desirable to other women. Trust me I’m the undisputed king champion of being ghosted and rejected because I always text right away. If I was the guy in this situation I would have texted probably that day and I’d get rejected because I’d come across as desperate. You women always and I mean always confuse interest with desperation.

[@Jojo-k8b]

@@BrianWaller-qe7gr when men I like text quick I like it. When men I don't like text quick I don't like it. Sorry, but she's just not that into you. Someone else will be.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

@@Jojo-k8b thats not really my point. My point is she’s complaining about the guy not texting but I can absolutely guarantee if he had text quickly she would’ve been turned off aka “not into him” because it comes across as desperate. Trust me I’ve been in this scenario many times and every time I quickly texted she’s immediately turned off. Then I sense it and never reach out again. Just like her rejecting his plan to meet up was her way of not coming across as desperate. This is the biggest problem I have with dating can’t show too much interest but can’t show little interest either. It’s just a big mind fuck circle jerk I gave up on

[@lisastjohn5075]

@@BrianWaller-qe7gr dating in 2024 is def a mind fuck….ill give you that 😫💯

[@chrisdahlgren4064]

Do they become intimidated?

[@dyshawnshine3644]

no they have several just like her. when you have an abundance of options you're not pressed over one. If you had 40 cars and you wreck one it wouldn't mean as much as if that was your only car.

[@ursulaleonowicz2744]

This is, admittedly, very niche but I feel like you need to go to three places where you're meant to live your best life (based on your astrology, obvi) and then go on a date in each location. Also, re: "meeting up tomorrow morning," ew, no thank you.

[@Jojo-k8b]

Or any morning. First date: dinner date, man pays. End of story.

[@SherryFaith]

I feel like at this point, you need to go on love island lol.

[@ashleyr9042]

you are absolutely right, there are good men out there, but at your age they are harder to find because all the good men are married to their wives. All the leftovers are either men that were divorced, will likely have kids and /or have mental issues/drug use/virgin-incels. If I were you id look to settle down sooner then later , the dating pool at your age bracket will only become more difficult , not easier. This is coming from a 38 year old married woman

[@junwang9288]

If the guy doesn't contact you, you may be not up to his expectation in some way.

[@bela-w9q]

When they do that its because they have a other women on stanby. Understand guys are not like us they can not stay alone they need a women even if its not serious . That is a red flag erase is phone number.

[@CarolynK33]

I haven’t kissed anyone in nine years 👀 I think I healed too much. I’m interested but also not, it will have to be organically because I’m not going out of my way I also enjoy my independence a little too much… lol

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

You complain about the guy not texting but if he shows high interest and texts you you get turned off. Accept accountability for the dating shit show you created by rejecting guys because they showed too much effort and came off as “desperate “ I can’t tell you how many times I got ghosted because apparently I shower too much interest and came across as desperate.

[@melife3307]

u so good. maybe he smelled u have FWBs

[@evevandenberg420]

You are too pretty, men are scared

[@christinebourlioufas1336]

You are gorgeous Melissa what’s wrong with the men of today 😮honestly!

[@lizzieholland7051]

get out quick when the red flags show.. no second chances. Don't dwell and when he appears on Friday don't get sucked into the cycle of shiiiituationships

[@MichelleHolmes-ux6ky]

😢men have no game anymore

[@dyshawnshine3644]

game isnt needed now lol its not about game anymore. those days are over.

[@DanTuber]

if you want to really be frustrated with dating, try being a guy. No stop flaking and ghosting.

[@MelissaMerk]

well apparently its both sides then 🤷‍♀️

[@DanTuber]

@@MelissaMerk Guys have it worse since we have to do all the work

[@dyshawnshine3644]

@@DanTuber they ll never realize this. because the only men they deal with have several women at a time. these are the only men they recognize.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Women have dating on ultra mega easy mode with cheat codes but still complain lol. How about stop chasing the top 20% dudes while ignoring the bottom 80%.

[@yugiohvalley]

Are you sure it's not you tho?

[@TheRowdyone69]

Its 1000% her. Im suprised no males wanna speak up. Shes blocking her herself and she doesnt even know it. She seems like an overall good person tho.

[@yugiohvalley]

Yeah I'd definitely go out with her. But we all have things that alarms others.

[@alexbleedsglitter23]

@@TheRowdyone69 what do you mean by blocking herself?

[@jenniferberkel7623]

She has standards she has set for herself. There's nothing wrong with that people

[@TheRowdyone69]

@@alexbleedsglitter23 the guy shes attracted too is attracted to someone who remains a mystery. She sets her standards and she is very transparent. Nothing wrong with that. I think shes hella cool. Totally see her as a great friend.

[@ashleyrose2652]

I was single for 7 years and hated dating. But a month before I found my partner I started saying "Universe, show me how good it gets". It changed the energy I was holding and I was finally in a place to receive my person. Your man is coming!

[@ashleyrose2652]

I was single for 7 years and hated dating. But a month before I found my partner I started saying "Universe, show me how good it gets". It changed the energy I was holding and I was finally in a place to receive my person. Your man is coming!

[@allezfc8166]

7 years is a lot of dicks