Dave Portnoy Unboxing Highlights (4/6/20)

[@jakefr5150]

2.5 years later and this is still comedy gold.

[@mitchellbowser6764]

I can’t believe how electric this is

[@Happy2DabsYT]

3 years...still fuckin

[@seegee9]

Easily some of his all time best content 😂

[@Noone-jn3jp]

The apron got me

[@stevensullivan1664]

"I'd tell you if I was doing coke" Dave Portnoy

[@CIARUNSITE]

All 10 times.

[@jackwillis680]

Yeah you can tell the difference between coke and adderall. If he was on coke he would be incoherent, adderall just makes you talk fast.

[@CSDonohue11]

jack willis Wrong

[@jackwillis680]

ThA MAN C MAcK I don’t have much experience with coke but my brother is prescribed adderall and that shit makes him go a million miles an hour.

[@hateNpain]

Coke makes you chatty as fuck!!

[@Ironman829]

3 years later.. still holding strong. The laughs are still there

[@tangybbqsaucey]

dave talking to his kitchen knife telling it that it will always be the original killed me

[@swellsessionsteam]

Maybe this is the pandemic talking but is this guy the most entertaining human being ever? I’m watching some dude opening packages and I’m having a ball

[@lliammcbean]

But he's got enough adderall in his system to get a horse through school

[@Amanda.StanofPodcasts]

lliammcbean this comment sent me

[@knotallthere66]

That’s one smart horse

[@ethangarcia854]

What did he mean by “get anthraxed”

[@ericar8803]

Thata boy

[@simbioza91]

AHAHHAHAHA

[@wikydiscgolf2307]

Why is this the best content on the internet right now?

[@KAP81]

Why is this so enjoyable to watch lol

[@ryanschaff123]

503 Workshop Ted Kaczynski was right, he’s a hero for humanity.

[@Ljd21]

Adderall

[@AutoExpectations]

Because he’s fucking hilarious

[@someguythatsboredandhigh2988]

Idk

[@hatcherhenry1399]

I don't think Dave's coke dealer is social distancing.

[@TheOrioles1]

Its not coke. Its being stuck in an apartment for a month lol.

[@guccimane6116]

Brad A nah it’s an insane amount of adderall

[@mr.m7791]

Adderall

[@thunderpeeler]

Dave is so zipped out of his mind here. “I thought that was an animal back there”

[@maxfightmaster1338]

This was the point that confirmed amphetamines were used shortly before this video.

[@jimmy33music]

Im dying

[@CDNSnowDay]

haha Aderall for his ADHD

[@wat4036]

no way I he said this right when I saw this comment.

[@nickhorn8296]

no no no, aderall to get high and be zooted@@CDNSnowDay

[@samuelfinkelstein804]

Man. I remember when these were coming out. Legit put a smile on my face during those crazy dark times. Put a smile on my face in a sad dark time

[@Adam-ex4zr]

Dave "I don't do coke" Portnoy: I love sweatpants. What are those anvils? Clearly shows that they are sledgehammers.

[@Winston-ot1cp]

Giggled like a school girl for 34 mins 😂 thank you Davey Packages!!

[@walkerfloyd7145]

One day trader, everyone knows he put his money in airline stocks during a pandemic

[@johnb1877]

One bite everyone knows Trump will send a boat load of money to Boeing everyone knows we are fucked...

[@chroniccomplainer3792]

He shorted BA and it went up he bought BA and it went down. Daytrading is risky AF

[@larrydav1d]

I made money swing trading airline stocks

[@C2Installations]

This is the greatest content of the COVID19 crisis. Accidental genius and a much-needed respite from the madness.

[@mikemabey9022]

Never waited so hard for an unboxing! Hate us cuz they ain’t us. El prez !!!!

[@SD-dc9or]

Still come back to these. These got me through the worst of covid forsure

[@daviscouch]

"I didn't mean to take a shot at Dana. It's not his fault he's fat, he's just building the brand"

[@calebmarek]

That anthrax scare halting the two minute drill is so classic. Lead the team down the field to the redzome, still had two timeouts.. intercepted

[@thurty1131]

I'm so happy I get to watch Dave's descent into madness with you all.

[@TrueGritLive]

"that's a keeper" tosses shirt across the room

[@Zmad724]

Dave "I can immediately tell that's a 7 incher" Portnoy

[@eriksmith8882]

Absolutely reckless the way he opens up boxes. I love it.

[@tylerwebb1778]

This is unbelievable content. I love coming back to watch these.

[@TylerNomadic]

Imagine giving a huge sword only to get upstaged by an even bigger sword.

[@JoachimLevel]

first one is a machete not a sword

[@NoRestForTheWeary]

@@JoachimLevel It's a rocking pizza cutter. That's why it has that second handle on the top.

[@angrycanadian566]

Imagine getting a huge dildo,then getting a BIGGER DILDO,he's not afraid of GIANT DILDOS,he works in an office full of GIANT DILDOS

[@iLLGT2]

That was so perfect 😂

[@galacticfederationambassad4063]

Watching a quarantined man’s slow descent into madness.

[@LiterallyGod]

“I don’t do coke” -guy who does coke

[@friedrice69]

Yup

[@RIPdBOON]

When he put on that hat and then pulled the knife out had my crying. Omg

[@AdrianFylonenko7]

This is one of the most entertaining things I've seen. Keep up the fun!

[@edledskal9147]

"What we learned in the unboxing 1 is I am not on Coke." lol *Did We Though?*

[@MaDukesMaDukes]

Spaztastic... Dave makes the Energizer Bunny look like he's in slowmo..... I feel like I need rehab just watching these unboxings... ☮️❤️😊

[@Daily98]

Dave “I’d tell you if I’m doing coke” Portnoy

[@jimmyconway1701]

Crazy how opening packages could make me laugh so hard 🤣

[@rockisdead1000]

Keep watching till the end to see the debut of the "Amish Ninja"....watch the sheer joy in his face when he unwraps the sword!!! Hahaha

[@digitalspliff]

one ground up adderall before streaming, everybody knows the rules

[@quarterbackin3262]

His face when he got the sword was priceless!

[@jasonmeador7861]

Dave is so entertaining!!! Space cadet. I had to come back and watch again!!!

[@Regulardudechannel]

I take 60 mg adderall and it’s pretty much coke. He looks like me after lunch in 6th grade

[@MrJaimeisagangster]

Liam French more like meth😂

[@Regulardudechannel]

@@MrJaimeisagangster Either way he still my prez. A little booger sugar ain't shit when you sell your company for millions. It isn't breaking news

[@ParlaySeb]

Liam French go back to CS gambling.

[@Armando_Brown32]

Liam French “Booger sugar” 🤣

[@Regulardudechannel]

@@ParlaySeb go back to unboxing jailbroken ps3 nerd

[@conradmarconi8096]

I want a girl to look at me the way dave looks at that sword.

[@kelex12]

Have you thought about live streaming on KZbin? You can go as long as you want, the video isn't backwards and you don't have to record it in portrait mode.

[@StonedMewtwo]

KELEX where is he streaming live in the first place?

[@MrJ-ro1yr]

@@StonedMewtwo Instagram

[@kelex12]

@@StonedMewtwo Instagram @stoolpresidente

[@immefcku1757]

@John Frylock Instagram is for cocksucker's

[@jond2720]

@John Frylock don't use the f-word you'll be reported by the real f's and banned. Ask me.

[@daeroc]

I delivered for UPS prior to my career ending injury. The driver who delivered to you had such a great attitude. Most of them wouldn't have been as cool as that dude. But at the same time, when you have 175 stops and 400 packages in your package car it's always nice, visually to see a good chuck of them go out. Makes you feel like you actually made a dent. Nothings worst than making like 30 stops for envelopes or small packages and feeling like you haven't made any progress. It's a tough job, but that's the job and they get paid very well for it too.

[@1upthegreat]

your unboxings have made you grow on me, preciate you brother. God Bless you my guy.

[@doodguy]

Man creates empire. Man makes $100M. Man can’t use a tripod. There is hope for all of us!

[@craigpoole1486]

The best content to watch!!! big love Dave from Manchester england 🤙🤙🙌🇬🇧

[@crimzo9982]

Watched this on my lunch break made my day😂

[@Beyondtopsecret1]

Havent laughed so hard in awhile 😂😂

[@si5812]

Dave: I'm not on coke, I'd tell you if I was on coke. Narrator: Dave was, in fact, on coke.

[@HectorGarcia-hz4iv]

"You need a horse racing analyst, give me a call" Dave- "no" hahaha damn lol

[@drewsy5838]

im so happy the internet pulled through for unboxing 2. It can only get better from here.

[@wendymclean4439]

After 32 days in you cannot believe how much you make me laugh!! Thank You!! Stay forever

[@dongerinoz]

The unboxing videos may be the funniest content I’ve seen from Portnoy

[@garyg3425]

*constantly complains he didn’t get a free pizza from Jacks* *complains about companies sending him things for advertising*

[@chad_garrison1991]

Dave could be the funniest man alive to be honest😂 I’ve laughed harder than I thought I could a couple times during this review. And normally when people try hard it’s not funny but Dave is straight comedy🤣 Also Dutch Bro’s coffee is better than Starbucks imo. It’s some bomb ass coffee. People line up everyday for it out here in The Bay Area

[@salleone7649]

People line up and wait 12 hours for a piece of hardtack in ~The Bay Area~ because that's communism, baby

[@chad_garrison1991]

@@salleone7649 what tf you talking about you fool😂🤡

[@Sassyglbeauty]

This video made my day. Dave was like a little kid! ❤

[@chrisragona3945]

Golden Knights Jacket was unreal. That with the Prison Mike bandana and the sword.

[@jacknicholson9558]

When he's cutting the potato at 29:46 it kinda sounds like a CoD hitmarker 😂😂

[@nicjohn648]

This was honestly the best part of the 2020 lockdowns lmao

[@tmc_washer1534]

This is turning into the new bad unboxing and I’m here for it

[@DCP12]

The best part for me was at the end, he leans over and goes where are my pizza bandaids. Im dead

[@Burgerz4Dayz]

This is gold. How am I just now watching this lmao

[@jasonwatkins2596]

You make Monday, which has been s***** wonderful. Just washing these videos, you are awesome.

[@xl1sbrett]

The look on his face when he picked up the samurai sword.

[@smitt12345]

Dude looking back, I tuned in faithfully to watch Dave open boxes and big cat play a ncaa football game that was like 6 years old at the time

[@anon69669]

Yeah he doesn’t do coke but he definitely does adderall and he’s already admitted that

[@jamjoe6314]

2 potatoes used to smuggle in the drugs. Everybody knows the rules.

[@samfleming7736]

MightyJoe 💀

[@OlivetheDoge]

What your going to put the drugs inside a potatoe? Please explain i know many many methods. But the potatoe would never make sense. I mean how will you even get em in there, and close it back up , to where it looks like it hasn't been tampered with

[@McCumbo]

34 minutes of Portnoy GOLD

[@elistark-haws2598]

The content we want.... no the content we need! Thanks Dave

[@rickyellis533]

Thats probably 1 of the funniest things I've ever seen class 😂 🤣

[@floridariverchamps]

I can't believe someone sent you a squatty potty... 😂 Bombs away

[@tylordurden930]

Don’t send anymore coffee, everybody knows the rules!

[@jarrettmaltry6305]

“What we learned from unboxing 1? I don’t do coke” nah man you were bouncin off the walls 😂

[@bobbylong5146]

Holy shit when he thought there was an animal I lost it. The man is going insane

[@zo7547]

This was the peak of lockdown entertainment

[@ronk9652]

One 8 ball kicked in at -17:50, everyone knows Prez's heart can only take so much.

[@zaksmall4925]

love these el pres "im not on coke i would tell you" hahahahahahhahahahhahh

[@Ill1776]

From regular Portnoy, to jacked up Portnoy is a massive difference as we can all tell lol.

[@jeffbenedetti2599]

Warched your video again. Love your 4 runner. I would just be using it for everyday commuting. Occasionally going up north. Do you feel a limited would be a better choice. And i would want every option you have. i.e, canvas back, cold air intake, the tray for wireless charging. Is that transfer case shifter difficult to use. Wish i could get in touch with you somehow. Hope your both well..What other colours does the 22 come in your model

[@nimanassiri8491]

The Knife escaladation from more powerfull to more powerfull, with your outfit uprzding trough the unnoxing is so excellent, Nice one dave 👍😂😂😂

[@kidwave1]

Dave, you gotta hang those purple pants from the rafters in Barstool, like a retired jersey, when all this is over.

[@kelex12]

4:27 - It's a kids show yet he swears like a sailor? LOL! :P

[@michaelballspenis2723]

How can you not figure out how to use a tripod.

[@nicholaskane38]

Cocaine

[@bigchungus540]

What are you gonna do when you see this guy coming down the street one Samurai sword two rackets and a Pharrell hat 😂😂😂

[@DUNGEONDRAGONZ]

There she blows. Everyone knows that was a coke reference

[@jaysinp.becker4273]

Dave, That big " knife" with the handle on top of the blade. It's a pizza cutter. Or rocking cutter.

[@TBagr]

I needed those laughs today

[@Bartholomew23]

"I'd tell you if I was on coke" that's what someone on coke would say😂😂

[@MichiganMadeDrone]

Long live Portnoy!

[@hannibalb8276]

best content barstool ever made

[@bensonnick169]

THE GREAT UNBOXER...What a time to be alive..!! 😂

[@ericpiccione]

Easily the best thing on the internet

[@perfekt2023]

So funny when David gets a knife or sword haha, IMAO

[@akakalaw4918]

Never really liked portnoy until these unboxings but he has jooookes

[@SouthernSkeptic]

Prez is one of the funniest fuckers out there. If he was an adult in the 80s, he could've been a heel wrestling manager like the Bobby Heenan or Jimmy Hart.

[@rattnroll84]

@@SouthernSkeptic no kidding! just imagine all the legendary promo's he could of cut back then...if one of the face wrestlers grabbed him by the neck and threw him into the ring the crowd would pop.

[@samuelfinkelstein8099]

dave, havent laughed like this in a while....ty 4 this. keep em coming

[@traviss2217]

Honestly.. the most entertaining unboxing ever

[@markmelon23mlf18]

He pulled out the massive knife with that hat on and Dave reminded me of Crocodile Dundee.

[@jasonwatkins2596]

I'm dying greatest single vid ever

[@aldenbynum742]

That Vegas Golden Knights jacket is dope!!!

[@Kenneth_Fishing]

“Not gonna eat the falafel” Takes bite

[@PartyboyDanny]

Wow that samurai sword though. By far the best thing you’ve gotten. Absolutely incredible. Also the most expensive thing you’ve gotten. How do I get to a level where people send me free samurai swords. I’m currently at the level where people that sell samurai swords kick me out of their store

[@jpeezie3192]

That Vegas Golden knights jacket was Spectacular ✊😎