Deaf and Depressed - Bell Let’s Talk 2018

Deaf and Depressed by Bruno G. Manuel
#DeafAndDepressed #BellLetsTalk
“Deaf and Depressed”
I wake up in the morning. Late morning.
Another day of depression. Again.
Another day of tiredness and battling with this disease called mental illness.
Nothing is more terrifying than battling with your own mind...
Every. Single. Day.
I’m this pretentious person who wears a mask.
The same mask people hide behind it with a smile.
People around town always think I’m this happy person, but that is only an illusion.
I’m now a professional at oversleeping. Napping.
I now sleep up to 12-16 hours a day.
I feel trapped in my own mind and body.
I become distant. Disconnected from the world.
Oh, what a lovely place this isolation is.
I pray and pray and pray.
Yet, I hold on to hope... that someday, I’ll wake up happier than ever.
I made irrational decisions… and poor choices.
I made tons of mistakes.
And I pray that I don’t follow the footsteps of Robin Williams,
or have the same fate as Chester Bennington.
Help me. Heal me.
I have tried to be optimistic.
It takes days to finish a single movie.
When appetite strikes, counting the calories is the least of my worries. So is cooking meals, therefore you eat what is in sight.
Mostly unhealthy stuff, too. It’s overeating.
Getting fat. Gaining weight.
Unable to carry out daily activities.
It’s not cleaning, and it piles up.
And don’t even get me started with the dishes.
Completely, oh-so-lazy.
Constant exhaustion.
Lack of energy.
I no longer have any interest in hobbies.
I begin having trouble going on my day-to-day life.
My friends tell me to cheer up.
You can’t just SNAP out of it! It doesn’t work that way.
I want them to tell me that It's going to be okay.
Hug me. Love me.
I often think of the times that I was actually happy, and I’m left wondering how or when did I came into this black hole?
I think about visiting my friends, yet I’m afraid to over extend my visit.
Reminisce about the good old days and wishing you could return to your old self.
If only it were that easy.
I’ve been neglecting people… and summer parties because I don’t feel like facing a crowd.
Even though I really, really wanted to go.
I fake being happy on social medias, to show my friends and the world I am indeed this outgoing person, when in reality, nothing is furthest from the truth.
Everyone on Facebook is either getting engaged, pregnant, bought a house, got a job promotion,
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.
Frantically looking at my phone for a text, a message, anything.
But alas, this is the real world. My world.
Super long and lonely nights.
Just shows to show, you truly never know what happens…
behind closed doors.

[@joaniedaigle9254]

Awww Bruno.. Brought tears to my eyes. This was so beautiful. ❤

[@dangunnlaugson329]

You are not alone Bruno - there are many of us that have these feelings. Hold on - you are praying - God hears you. Keep trying - it will get better. You did a beautiful job on this video - very professional - touching - you have raised awareness on depression - good job.

[@dangunnlaugson329]

That comment was from DAWN not Dan Gunnlaugson - I guess our computer is set up in his name lol!

[@toyainthecity1068]

hi friend